Honestly this type of stuff makes trying to love yourself so difficult. Its like there is no line between being confident and being full of yourself in the eyes of society.
Confidence is one thing, filming a video of yourself sashaying down a street to show off how you turn everyone’s heads… that’s actually neurotic and a very toxic message to give people about “pretty privilege”.
Real confidence and self esteem is acknowledging that you are no better or worse than someone regardless of being prettier, uglier, smarter, dumber, wealthier...we all have intrinsically the same value and the worth we attribute to others or ourselves will always depend on our priorities and life choices. For example between a middle class dad and a upper class single man, deciding which one is the most sucessful will depend on what your priorities and goals. If your goal is to build a family, the dad is more sucessful in your eyes. If your goal is to build wealth, the rich man is more sucessful in your eyes. If your goal is happiness, they are both equally sucessful if they are happy with what they achieved and with the sacrifices they chose to make in order to achieve it Real confidence is acknowledging that you wont always be the prettiest in the room in everyone's eyes and being totally okay with that because regardless of everything, you love yourself the most...not because you think you are better but because you acknowledge you are the only one who will ALWAYS be there for you and will always be able to help you and put the much effort into your happiness.
@@RU-viduser10873 Im not on tiktok and the only social media I’m on is youtube where I don’t watch beuty related content. The preassure i feel is not directly social media caused its a real life thing
@@eriKa_16 lmao I had it when I was like 16 because all my friends kept wanting to send me stuff and it’s sad bc tiktok does have some good/funny stuff on there but it was absolutely wrecking my attention span and made it so much easier for me to get distracted by things I wasn’t even that interested in so yeah that’s probably good 💀😩
@@calvoekleiden8664 truee it distracts you from everything and you loose so much time that way...thats also why i didnt what to download it and later my friends also deleted it and said that it was a good decision..so its good for you now you can spend more time on other things and you have less contact with the toxic and unrealistic standards
I personally find that calling yourself pretty is a good way to start feeling more confident. I am very confident in my looks, i used to be ranked as one of the ugliest girls in my class in middle school (some stupid boys would make these ranks). It used to hurt me but then i realised that caring about what others think isn't gonna make the Earth stop spinning, it isn't gonna pay my bills. These boys were just bitter af cuz girls didn't wanna date them. I believe beauty is about personality. For me an ugly person is someone with a bad personality, not with "bad" looks. Cuz everyone is beautiful in their own ways. Idc how attractive someone might be, if they're mean for me they're ugly lol. Having confidence in myself has made life so much better. I used to have friend who made self-loathing their whole personality. I'm so glad i dropped them. I don't think i'm beautiful i know i am and i know you are too ! Don't let bitter people destroy your self esteem, it's better to be called delusional bcuw of how confident you are then to believe the lies that society feeds you !!!! Love ya'll
pls i agree sm. I've literally never seen someone have the same opinion as me in this, but i dont consider people to be ugly no matter how they look conventionally. If they're 'conventionally attractive' but have the worst personality, they're ugly in my eyes bcse their soul and inside (?) is ugly. But sometimes the kindest, most hilarious people are seen as 'ugly' when you can't just judge someone off their face?! People are like 'oh ur pretty' in comments of tiktoks when people's faces can't possibly be the only thing to judge people off? ya
I was considered ugly too. Guess what I am not, even nowadays I have people comment on my beauty. Never lose what differentiates u from the rest. You are pretty for sure, is just that social media tries to put everyone in the same box, in this case, beauty. And like u said insecure people comment on your looks because they project what they can't have or desire.
So true. Whenever I felt good about my looks, my classmates would be so hateful for no freaking reason. Like can’t someone exist outside the Eurocentric standards and feel good about themselves?
This happen to me...i never look like an agentinian (like the latina estereotipe of beauty, like Brazil, I'm flat ASF and my skin tone), i learn to love myself the way I look All my life I was outside of what was considered attractive where I lived but now I feel better than ever! I... just don't want to be like that, i love myself ❤️
Just remember there is difference between male and female gaze, men in my observation prefer 'Basic b*tches' to complement (nothing wrong with that style ofc). Women are more likely to complement unconvinient girls, they just see you as a person. Also 'ogre'... Ugh so immature
@@mittag983 straight men call every girl ugly so the girls lower their standard to date men like them, if girls call you pretty then you're absolutely gorgeous, end of discussion 🤝
I had a guy friend tell me I was cute and I did a bit of a pose and said he was right. He quickly told me to stop and that made me unattractive. It was a weird moment that sticks with me
Your confidence made you unattractive.. make it make sense 😅 Like imagine if you said "oh no I'm not stop" you should test it out and see how people respond
Wtf! I thought confidence was attractive 🤦🏻♀️ why are people/society so freaking confusing and weird 😩 its like never-ending fr.. what you did sounds so cute it couldn't make you unattractive in any way! That's so dumb! I hope you can get rid of that moment in your brain, but I understand I have stuff that also sticks with me even from like middle school being called ugly and stuff so I get how dumb stuff can stick around and overstay it's welcome in your mind 😔 sending happy thoughts to you!! 💞💞💞💝
screw that guy 💀 its hateful that he made u feel that way T^T they be acting like theyre doing good deeds when telling us we're pretty, but when they learn that we already know it and that they don't have that power to make ourselves feel better (bc male gaze ew), they feel useless and starts hating... isnt it because they want control? or am i looking too deep into it? 💀
I NEVER understood people hating on others for being confident. It's probably internalized hatred or society trying to say an attractive person doesn't know they're attractive to what? Humble someone? Gross. If you feel a type of way by seeing someone being confident or happy in their looks without even knowing them (social media is fake) then look inwards. Don't project these ideas on others. Like, go outside, eat a fruit, do what you love outside of anyone else. Then maybe you'll feel more beautiful too. This is coming from someone who struggles deeply about how I am perceived. I always admire confident people. I want to be like that too, not bring anyone down. I want others to feel good too in their looks. My friends are beautiful, strangers are beautiful. The only ugliness is the hatred we have.
It seems like everyone is angry about anyone who is happy. They ignore the work it might have taken to get there. They ignore that many people are too lazy to do the things that genuinely self improve. (Not just the aesthetic nonsense.)
Those people are just in pain… When you find yourself ugly for quite some time it becomes hard to perceive other people’s beauty. It turns into an ultimatum: if they look beautiful, and I don’t look alike, that means I’m not beautiful. This paradox causes anger and envy. But every time I had this thoughts, i repeated myself - admire someone’s beauty without questioning yours. And it helped! Now I find inspiration in other’s people beauty as well as mine
@@weiluonik Yes, and I think it helps to use analogies to change the way we think of it. Such as… are roses ugly for not being lilies? Of course not. So too for people.
I mean, that vid of the lady trying to see if people look at her is cringey. And if there was a camera person walking behind her that increases the chances people will look. If it’s too obvious someone is fishing for compliments and validation it attracts others to bring them back down to earth. Not to mention the obvious fact just because a stranger is looking at you, doesn’t mean it’s because they find you attractive 👀
all i know is theres a special place in hell for the person who started this whole thing of rating people 1-10 based on their looks. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS IT'S RIDICULOUS TO RATE PEOPLE?
Omg Same. Every time I look myself in the mirror I look so ordinary and dull. Like I question why there’s nothing on me that’s mesmerizing to look at. And I hate it
@@coralrue what piqued my interest here are popular notions of what constitutes ‘human rights’. OC got upvoted 100+ times. We live in a time when idiocy is championed.
The end had me in tears almost immediately. I love how I look and I have been shut down time and time again because I must be "full of myself" and "big headed". Loving yourself doesn't make you a narcissist, being cruel to others and *only* loving yourself makes you a narcissist.
Ok, so I’m a burn victim but still pass as the “ideal” most of the time - I made a TikTok because I was worried about an upcoming surgery and wanted to give advice to other burn victims about what to do or what not to do whilst healing. That one had hundreds of thousands of views, but the next one where I was in a neck brace to hold my newest skin grafts in place had 98 views 😂😂 it makes a lot more sense now. Also, they removed one of my videos talking about recovery from a different surgery and I don’t even know what I said that was wrong, I was just talking about wearing the neck brace after surgery being helpful and the reason I needed to have another surgery was because back in 2006 during my original surgery the brace was rubbing my facial skin off so my mom was nice enough to help me remove the brace and it caused massive contracture of the scars
The biggest problem with my confidence is that I can feel so happy and then I see someone who looks skinny and realize that I don't look like them at all 😭
I feel ugly many times too, but please don’t let other people control how do you feel about yourself, i’m sure you are pretty & beautiful & we are all different and have our own unique face❤
this is why i avoid social media other than for the sole purpose of looking at memes or other stupid stuff. its already hard enough not to compare yourself to the people around you but when youre exposed to MILLIONS of people it can be unhealthy bc youre naturally going to compare yourself. i think you can develop a mindset where you can admire people's looks and even use them for inspiration but its important to know that social media and real life are two different worlds. you dont have to worry about being breath-takingly beautiful... unless you live in asia, but thats a whole other problem on its own
I’m not on TikTok anymore and all this seems so overwhelming. I’m glad I’m not a teenager because I know my self esteem would be in the toilet (I mean it was because I was growing up in peak IG model era of 2014-2018). Even as a 20 something year old, I can’t even fathom seeing these trends. TikTok’s algorithm and content focuses too much on beauty. There is so much more someone can be than just pretty.
The 2014-18 ig model era was traumatising as a teen at the time. I was like 14 crying that i didn’t look like these 20 something women, a lot of them w fully done up bodies and faces. This was during the bbl era too and i also remember comparing my undeveloped body to these women and assuming they just went to the gym lol.
I was in high school from 2014-2018 and that era of instagram did so much harm to my self esteem. I truly didn’t understand that these girls had plastic surgery and edited their bodies and thought there was something wrong with me for not having a tiny waist and huge ass as a high school freshman. Not to mention how common it was to deny getting a bbl, lip fillers, whatever.
One of my most troubling memories from my childhood was when one of my female peers screamed at me at the top of her lungs that I should be tan and she literally lunged at me like she was going to attack me! My crime? Wearing foundation that matched my pale skin?! Too much beauty culture that goes one way can cause real damage in the real world.
That's horrifying. I feel so bad for you.. I'm Filipino and I am fairly tan but pale enough to be in the "beauty standard.". In the Philippines, we have a colorism issue. It is a beauty trend to be pale skinned here, (if I could even call it that) and I have witnessed guys talking down to other guys who are apparently their friends and ridicule them for being a darker skinned asian and for being "ugly" because of it. It's repulsive. Why would someone think that putting others down for not passing on a stupid beauty trend is okay? Nobody is perfect and they don't need to fit into your standards. Everyone has their own uniqueness and beauty.. They should only change if it's something that makes themselves happy, not for others. I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. Some people are just so detached from reality.
@@VarkoIyn it seems to be a problem for a long time. It seems commonplace to ridicule people on so many aspects of beauty that pointing it out will get you ostracized.
@@ritaevergreen7234 Yes.. It’s very unfortunate. I wish that it wasn’t like this but that’s sadly how it is here. Hopefully it changes because it’s getting out of hand
I never felt bothered by my nose until recently. Been feeling ugly and considering plastic surgery, which I don't want to do at all. Thank you for this video Zoe ❤
@@kalewelch since I've posted this I've been working hard to deconstruct these standards and see beauty in myself as I am. Thank you so much for the kind comment ❤️
Same! So what if we have a bigger nose than others? Others have something big they don't like either. It's a good practice for self love to accept your natural beauty
@@iheartjbgccb exactly, and our traits carry our history. I've been clinging to the idea that my black and indigenous ancestors, who were already erased by colonozation, gave me this nose, and by doing plastic surgery I'd be further erasing them from my history and body.
I LOVE THE WAY YOU START YOUR VIDEOS IT ALWAYS FEELS LIKE A PERSONAL INSULT BUT THATS OKAY HAHSAHHSAHHSA I CAN ONLY WRITE IN BIG LETTERS AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP IT IM SO SORRY HAHHSHAHHSHHAHHA
I just wanted to say how helpful your videos are to me. I suffered from anorexia since i was 14 (i'm 21 now) and i recently started picking up my old habits but then i came across your metabolism video and it made me cry cause something in me just clicked. My mindset obviously won't change from one day of another but I'm still thankful you made a video like that. I also realized through others my body type is considered skinny fat so i'm currently working on my strength by doing resistance training and i never realized how my noodle arms can actually lift dumbbells up. I just wish i could go to the gym but i'm too broke for it. do you have any recommendations for resistance training at home ? (The question goes out to everyone that reads this btw)
There a number of types of exercise you can do using your own body weight as the resistance. Think push ups but tweaked for different areas of the body. Do some googling and it is not too hard to find. Also, resistance bands are an ok place to start.
I personally find Caroline Girvan to have the best at home strength training exercises. They're easy to follow, effective, and go from medium to flames of hell difficulties lol. Give her a try here on the tube!
@@LotusesGalaxyOcean yeah I have resistance bands and dumbbells from 1-4kg and those ball weights (?) For 8kg but i'n thinking about getting dumbbells from 5-10kgs soon cause they're easier to hold
I remember when I was in youth group and I was joking to my friend " I'm so hot " , and this kid walked up to me and said " no you're not " . Like thanks dude way to completely shatter my confidence
zoes videos are like free therapy, i came back home from school today and was exhausted even after i showered (ps im on my period which makes it worse). But then this showed up, and i immediately felt better. i love video essays like this lol
Why can't shit be neutral, we shouldn't hype ourselves too much till the point it's unhealthy while on the other hand we shouldn't hate ourselves to the point it causes mental illnesses. Like?? It's fine if you need to put effort into looking "pretty". But that's just your view of 'pretty',maybe you're more beautiful than you think you are or maybe not, it's just reality. Acceptance is key! Feeling pretty once in a while is healthy, but not feeling pretty is also okay. Were human
If someone is conventionally attractive and they brag about it, most people won't like it. It's better to be humble and let your actions show how cool you are instead of talking about how good-looking you think you are.
This ain’t how it works at all. You can have all the self-confidence in the world and see your own beauty, but that does not mean that you will be seen as beautiful by others. I will say though, that there are exceptions where having good energy can somewhat make-up for unattractive looks (I’ve seen this irl), but it really depends on the person and the people around them.
Even before the days of the internet people have believed that beautiful and confident women need to be “taken down a peg”. We used to call it “tall poppy syndrome” in Australia. Lots of behavioural studies have found that it’s socially detrimental for people (but women in particular) to outshine their counterparts in any way. They will experience ostracism, relational aggression (slandering), and other forms of bullying. I think the internet just makes it more visible than it used to be.
Well said. Unfortanly been confident and feeling yourself as a woman is seen by others as a competition. Intern only makes thinkings worse. I don't see why we should feel insecure, so others can feel comfortable in their own skin.
Yep. I grew up tomboyish and self-repressing due to the fear that if I tried to put makeup on and dress how I wanted, I would be made fun of, told that it didn't suit me, told that I was trying too hard, etc. I explicitly remember the first time I wore proper eyeliner to middle school, and god, that was hell; as soon as I entered the classroom a guy yelled "finally! she put some makeup on," and everybody kept telling me it didn't suit me. People should truly let other people express themselves through fashion & makeup however they feel comfortable doing so. I'm so relieved I'm at a place where I know how to do this now, but my heart burns for anybody who feels caged by the expectations around them and is unable to express themselves through fashion/makeup/mannerisms/etc.
Hating confident pretty people is all projection. They don't hate on confident conventionally unattractive people because they see themselves in them, but once the video doesn't relate to them anymore, they turn.
Not true. Confident, conventionally unattractive people get hated on because they “don’t know their place”. I’ve seen this in real life too where a person is secure with themselves, but because they aren’t seen as attractive, the attractive people and non-attractive people who are in denial that they themselves aren’t unattractive will bully the secure unattractive person. It’s mostly due to jealousy and the notion of “how dare an unattractive person be secure enough see their own value”. Pretty sad.
This is the biggest lie I’ve ever seen. Whenever an unattractive person is confident in themselves people immediately try to “humble” them and tell them they’re delusional for thinking they look good. People can’t stand it when unattractive people don’t hate themselves
advice for yall: DELETE SOCIAL MEDIA. this will stop you from comparing yourself with others (physically, in this case), and you'll be so much happier, i promise. I did that some time ago and i don't find myself ugly, i just realized that i compared myself with other pretty faces that has COMPLETELY diferent features and now i understand that im cute but in a different way that other people and that's fine. It makes you appreciate other type of beauty, not the big almond eyes, super small nose and massive lips one
It's just like David Goggins said, "nobody likes seeing you better than them". If you're feeling confident and proud of how you look, people on the internet get jealous. If they feel superior to you and/or you have lower confidence, then they'll be nice.
I don't wanna hear "you are beautiful". We have soooo many amazing adjectives and this is what we wanna stick to. I'd love me some "you are insightful/ curious/ creative/ resilient/ kind".
Currently studying beauty and styling and I just want to say the minute I stopped comparing myself to others and trends I was freed. I started to grow my own personal style that works for me because it’s based off of no one but me. Just because certain features are not “trending” does not make someone ugly. also never put others down to make ourselves feel better! I simply can’t get over a app doing this and it feels so dystopian…it means tictoc decides the trends and it’s already gone for some really rare genetic traits…
i've been watching your videos for a week now and i wanna say that you're helping me a lot with my self confidence and the image of my body because i struggle with ed a lot, and seriously i love your content tysm
I’m off instagram, and never had TikTok, and I can say it’s so much better for my self perception. I’m also so out of the loop with these trends and terms and it feels so free.
honestly…tiktok and everything has ruined my mental health sm and its my fault but not one day goes by where i‘m not depressed af about being ugly or not pretty enough and its ruining me
I’m certain your lovely. Try taking a computer or iPhone vacation” there’s more to the exterior than what’s inside your heart. Focus on other things that you like distractions] find out what you like! It hasn’t ruined your life” or you couldn’t have posted this on Zoe’s site right? Do you enjoy walking?or any kind of maybe chill things like yoga or I do dance bit of ballet most modern . Animals? Maybe adopt a pet.I don’t know your age but pet therapy of course no 2 women are the same I respect this.( brought so much healing &joy to my heart …..I was more confident to go out without makeup! Donate to charity look I’m just throwing chimes to the wind “ as I call it . Don’t give in to a APP! IFF THEY REALLY BC A PROBLEM TO YOU I SAY DELETE THEM HONESTLY Better than a ED! 😊please listen to me I just mean well. That’s all. Best o Luck luv I’m not trying trying to change you. They are!.😊😊
I totally agree with this (I'm not trying to brag)I have people complementing me on hair, clothes, etc. but I still feel ugly it's all about how you think you look and just know God made everyone differently your beauty is unique!
i was literally just thinking about how much i look up to you while watching your "tiktok isn't the problem" video! thanks for being so honest and being you, zoe ☺️
I'm an afab woman, and like many people, I have hated how I've looked for +- 2 thirds of my life. I've always wanted to change as much as I could and have always made plans on how long everything might take, but it wouldn't have been legal for me until quite recently, and saving money has never been something I'm good at. Halfway through being 18 now, and my mom has recently passed. One of the many ways I was always so lucky to have her is that she would always say my insecurities were actually beautiful, or that what I was focusing on wasn't anything to not like. When I was at her funeral, everyone kept saying how much I look like her, and I saw pictures of when she was younger and I never realised how similar we actually looked until that day. I've realised that I now cannot permanently change any of my features, because no matter how much I dislike them, they're always there to remind me of how much she loved me.
All those mean comments make a lot of sense. It's almost as if the hot/confident videos are making people feel significantly worse about themselves, so much so they're realising it. It's one thing to look attractive, it's another to actively be attractive. So instead of being harmless, it seems like it becomes personal, 'as this person is so confident', it can feel as if they are actively hurting you; In a way, the mean comments are all just inverse affirmations. Justifications (permission) for people to feel better about themselves.
People be like.. attractive people ALWAYS has it better.. that they are more well liked automatically. Actually.. I have heard nasty things being spread about that said attractive person.......... so no.. they are NOT automatically well liked. And then I actually started to hang out with the said attractive person.. that one IS well liked because the attractive person is nice and pleasant to be around with.
I enjoy your content so much. I personally don't have social media and only use RU-vid but you keep me updated on what's going on in the internet and a general way of peoples thinking. Im a philosophy major so its kinda fun to learn on the outside without actually experiencing the weirdness of social media.
This is encouraging, Zoe! These girls really do all look the same. And that guy who TikTok said was a 3?? Wtf!! He’s a cutie! Anyway, I’m glad I’m not on TikTok. I have a nose like Kim K’s old nose and I’ve wondered whether to get a nose job. I also have chubby cheeks even when I lose weight so maybe I need Buccal fat removal.
Standards for facial structures are always changing, there is no need to risk your life merely to change a feature due to the fear of it being subjectively disliked by some. Some will also dislike the new facial features you get -- that's simply how it always goes. Our body is merely a vessel for what we carry inside us. 💗
Don't get anything done. You'll grow into those features once you get a bit older. If you remove your buccal fat, you might look life a zombie in the future, since our faces simply slim overtime due to aging. Just wait for it, bestie. Don't risk your life.
Don't get anything done. You'll grow into those features once you get a bit older. If you remove your buccal fat, you might look life a zombie in the future, since our faces simply slim overtime due to aging. Just wait for it, bestie. Don't risk your life.
I don't know, if you're short and not very handsome dude, people will put you down because you're annoying if you appear confident. People do put down ugly people more often in real life. In social media it's different, but there is a difference between social media and in real life, pretty people do have privilege in real life, people are nicer to them. So it's not your fault you're treated poorly because of your face, and confident is not something that comes from within. True confidence comes from outside. For external validation. Best way for under confident people to gain confidence is to make supportive friends.
Wait I see rugged stuff on my tiktok like rural Chinese villages, trailer parks in the south and people from the midwest…… am I on ugly tiktok or something?
Well.. I have seen comments under video of beautiful woman walking through European city with heels, small dress and a hat on, while other people are in comfortable clothes(yeah, coats, sweaters and jeans). Because the title was like "what happens when Europeans see really beautiful lady". And there were a lot of comments like: " The people are jealous! Other women must be hating this lady for her beauty!". There were a lot of Russians in comment section, who were sssssooo proud their women wear tight, uncomfortable, but beautiful for men gaze clothes, like the lady in the video, and do nothing for their own comfort. And this was way more toxic, than comments about a cameramen and no coat on the model. People just tried to explain, that other women in this video mind their own business, maybe trying just to reach their workplaces or thinking about groceries, and the intention of the video was exactly to shame them for not wearing heals and fancy hat everyday, like that gorgeous model 😂like"look, the European ladies are soooo ugly hahaha"
honestly, I just hate the clean girl aesthetic in general. It’s like it’s automatically weird to put effort in your looks. Also, it’s just plain *boring.* Like, there’s no color or anything. Just glazed donut.
I’m sorry but most people are chronically online (myself included more often than not) Sometimes people just need to delete apps (especially TikTok) or just simply turn off their phones 😅
Beauty is not subjective...I'm afraid it will always be eurocentric, pale slender face with slim features accompanied with a juicy hourglass body shape. If you dont have that 🤷♀️ then there will always be people in your life pointing out how you are not worthy and someone with paler skin and better face+body performed a casual activity way better than you. Parents and teachers dont see the "potential" in you to have a great future, therefore not being kind enough or invested enough in you , then also the partner is never satisfied with you, always comparing and looking at other girls, straight up being rightfully abusive even because you are not a Trophy. Now tell me why after been subjected to all this, one should believe they are beautiful with an average face and body proportion? Will the society let them be?
@@Weyland_PunaniTotally agree. It’s honestly weird when people act like the whole world is based on Eurocentric beauty. In America, sure, but the rest of the world has very different beauty standards which can vary region by region.
Okay I just found this woman and I have to say... The way she talks, sits and does pretty much everything radiates confidence and reminds me of the platinum blonde character from the incredibles (I can’t remember her name lol)
I think giant gel nails are horrible, but apparently people think it's beautiful....will I cry about it? No I'm not going to go out and yell at her if she likes it, I'm just not going to do on to myself and that's it 😎 no drama
as someone who was prohibited in middle school onwards to wear makeup i always felt so left out when my girlfriends would do makeup prepping for some event and i'd sit on the bed already dressed. however they always asked to do my makeup as well and took time to do it on me. now at uni i'm obsessed with certain makeup products and i can't go without. they remind me of those special memories.
Me, too. Wearing makeup feels so relieving now. Finally being at least a fragment of who I appreciate myself being is a relieving thing. I'm glad you can express yourself through makeup now. 💓
@@mygod2529 Some people use the word "Girlfriend(s)" as a slang for female friends that they often hang out with. ^^ Regardless, even if they were a Lesbian -- that wouldn't be relevant to the topic at hand. 🖤
So I'm a guy and I'm ugly and honestly have no idea how I would ever get any confidence. Like idk how I ever could when I am objectively unattractive. I have been working with a therapist for awhile but most days I still struggle with sucidial thoughts cause of how not just how unattractive I am but I'm just not, idk what to call it, a cool high level person. and I try to do everything I can, like going to the gym etc. but like if I can never change or ever be more attractive is it worth going forward with life? idk I think about that a lot.
Stick in there. There are always people who are there for you. Remember, if 1% of the people in the world found you attractive, there would still be more than 80 million people out there who would consider your type attractive. Plus attractiveness isn’t everything.
I needed this 😔 after i posted my recent outfit video i felt soo disheartened that i dont look good on camera as a lot of the popular girls! Really got me rethinking doing youtube ngl 😅
The people praising conveniently ugly people are doing so in a talking down manner and not genuine compliments and those same people are insulting pretty women and men to make themselves feel better, It's the biggest cycle of copiom on the internet, I recently lost 45lbs and my BMI went from obese to slightly overweight for my height, I'm 6'3 and now 220lbs i workout 4 to 5 times a week but I'm still seen as ugly by a lot of women, But i always have this comeback when they make fun of my face, I tell them that my biceps are twice the size of their boobs and they stfu 😂.
Beauty is so subjective. Within each ethnicity there is an ideal look, and if you don’t fall within it, that doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful. For caucasian women, the Scandinavian look, blonde hair, blue eyes is still very sought after. Even just having blue eyes is desirable, and something you can’t change. Having a tiny nose, a strong jaw line, small chin, big eyes and mark free face is naturally occurring, but not usually all at once and all on one person. BEAUTY IS SUBJECTIVE STILL. Take away our phones and we would probably a little less about comparing ourselves to others. KEEP IN MIND: you will never see yourself, a mirror is only a reflection, but isn’t the same thing. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. You see your face every day so you pick it apart. Take it easy.
The more I disconnected from the internet the better I felt about myself and others. Yes tik tok is the worst but the internet in general just thrives off this kind of energy. People on the internet are just getting nastier and nastier and it’s like some of these ppl are so fucking insecure because they treat other people like shit and judge everyone all the time so they assume everyone else does the same to them. Turns out most people could give less of a shit. If yall are really struggling with your self worth and image you really need to step away from the internet, at least for a while. It’s just not healthy.
Thank you soooooo much for this! I needed to hear this so start to realize that no one thinks I am ugly but myself, and thanks for being real about it and not like the 'love urself' side of youtube that just constantly spews "omigosh girl you're so pretty". This felt more real and more in depth abotu society and issues about beauty these days
Tbh, no one is really "ugly" because people are always going to want what they can't have or what they aren't. For example someone might say, "Gosh, I'm sooooo ugly my freckles are just so ugh." But somewhere in the world someone wishes, craves, they have what you have, it's really just a matter of loving yourself enough to be able see that.
In terms of outward appearance, it's normal to feel as if you don't look like your best self. We're all just human beings are we are by no means perfect in any way. Due to beauty standards, it affects our own self-confidence and self-esteem. Just remind yourself that you are beautiful, despite all your flaws.
i agree with everything in the video, however videos like the one in 13:43 where the girl is just walking around, all dressed up with a camera following her to record reactions of people and posting it on the internet is just 💀 strange to me. it's obvious that the entire purpose of those kinds of videos is to get the reactions and that's why they zoom in to their faces. those types of videos are just weird. if i see someone on the street sashaying around with a camera following them, I'd look to 🤷🏻♀️ maybe cuz i find them pretty or it's just weird. either way these videos are strange
As a Computer Science student, let me put my future degree to use. When we create an algorithm or a model, one of the most important step is finding the "dataset" which is fed to the model to train it. Just like how you teach a child and they learn it. You teach the model and it learns it. So if you teach the model to classify the videos by analysing the faces, it will naturally only properly classify the faces it was "taught" by the dataset. Guess what that mean? The beauty algorithm will only pick and push the people it was "taught" to pick and push. These models learn the pattern and then start picking and pushing on their own thus making "certain" people viral. Honestly makes a lot of sense when you think about it using computer science because it's just a code. If you are lucky enough to come under the "accuracy" of the model then boom you're going to be "famous" and if you don't fall under that dataset and still become famous then congrats you just confirmed that even though you weren't picked by the narcissistic AI child you were picked by real people and they liked you and your personality.
2:38 I'd honestly like to hear more about that. I don't spend any time looking at this kind of thing online :p but I find it very intrestign to hear about the trends, cause it is a conversation about culture u know :l
Anyone else hate the “Step 1: be pretty” comments (like this one here 15:12 ) They are actually so annoying.. break your self esteem SOMEWHERE else. Ty
Thank you Zoe for bringing this to a broader audience! I think more people need to understand, that everyone has their own perception. There are so many factors that lead to how we perceive our environment and what we think is right or wrong or in this case what we think is beautiful or ugly. our upbringing, education and socialization has shaped or is shaping us and the media plays a big role in this. in addition there is an algorithm that blurs the view of things because they don't represent reality. I think it is important to know that and to be aware of the fact that everyone finds something else beautiful. 💕
I feel like TikTok is for people who are either very self conscious and trying to seek validation by going viral or the conventionally attractive people flaunting their attractiveness. It’s very weird how many clips I see and I think they all have the same kind of look. TikTok is destroying people’s confidence and I already don’t like taking pics or videos of myself so I don’t need a platform to tell me I’m attractive or not 😂 it’s actually really sad that people feel bad about themselves after seeing how others look. Maybe I’m just the minority but if I see someone attractive my first thought is not that I’m ugly but just that person is attractive and that’s it. I feel bad for todays teens because they feel they have to be on social media to be relevant. I’m so glad I grew up without social media being the end all be all.
Nice work Zoe! This is some very important investigative journalism at it's core. Just found your channel yesterday. Enjoying your content and your fashion choices as well. 😃👏🏻
Ik im not attractive but i cannot bear calling myself ugly , what do i even deserve to call myself ugle so therefore i will be calling myself normal and decent looking ✨ its not bad even if its not good my beauty standards is a better version of myself ~ and ill be eternally happy if one day i could have a my own house and one adorable kitten 😭💞 Guys i am in no positions to say anything but beauty is not eternal but happiness is 🫂 rather than sreking eternal beauty seek eternal happiness life is too short to think about beauty one day youll die and the only one that'll last is good memories, there'll def be a bad day where u feel the world is unfair and when that happen you need to treat yourself!!! Reward yourself for having a rough time!! I personally think everyone looks normal in my eyes you guys looks decent just like a unique human being with some pretty one of a kind feature mwah!❤👏🏻
I hate being ugly I hate being ugly so much. I hate it I wish I was pretty so bad. I wish I had clear skin and blue eyes and a symmetrical face. I wish I had straight teeth and a button nose. I literally disgust myself with how hideous I am. I feel bad for anyone who has to be in my vicinity. I feel disgusting like an ugly pig. My face looks disfigured compared to everyone else’s. I went on a beach trip with my “friend” and her and this other girl just completely destroyed what was left of my confidence. I don’t want to go outside because of how hideous I am. I never look pretty not even with makeup. I just always look like an ugly disgusting monster. I don’t understand why some people get to be beautiful naturally but I have to look awful. I hate being in pictures and always try to cover my face. I just feel nasty. Like I have a sickness. No one likes me. None of my friends do. No one would actually want to be my friend. They just feel bad for me. I just wish I would disappear and everyone would forget about me and be happier without me ruining their life. I’m just awful. I can’t even stand myself. I don’t even want to be around myself. But I can’t escape from me. I’ll never be hood enough for anyone. Especially when it comes to love. I want to grow up and have a family and a husband but that’s impossible. I can’t even fathom anyone ever wanting to be with me for the rest of their life. I don’t want to pass this burden to my kids. I don’t want to bother a good guy with my terribleness. I’m trying to accept that fact but it’s hard. I hate being the ugly friend and sibling. I just hate it so much. I just annoy everyone I meet. I just feel like a burden to my family they would just be happier if I disappeared. They would have one less thing to worry about. I just can never make anyone happy. I’m trying to accept it. I’m trying but it’s hard. I wouldn’t wish anyone to feel this way no matter who they are or what they’ve done in their life. No one would even care if I just disappeared. No one would. Everyone would be relieved I was finally gone.
