If you're thinking of coming to Thailand and marrying a Thai girl, think again. Or at least after watching this video you will think again. Just listen to what can happen. You can become very very vulnerable when you marry a Thai girl.
Don't get married. Don't cohabitate. Don't impregnate. Don't let feelings control you. Don't spend more than the very bare minimum. Protect yourself at all times. And, have a bloody good time! But, have purpose, find some hobbies and get some activities going so you don't lose yourself. Cheers🍻
@@mikimoto99 Guys who are able to sustain residing in Thailand are normally older and 99% of them don't want/need a child. Also, Thailand is NOT the place to go be a 1st time parent as a man. You're likely to end up in drama, more miserable than before with less of your money. But, if that's what you want, you don't need permission nor validation. Just don't recruit other men to engage in this mess. It's a losing game for 98% foreigners.
I've been living in Thailand for 14 years I'm still single, by choice.for me it's the best option. I've seen some men go through absolute hell here.good video thanks Dave.
I watch hundreds of these videos, and that is some of the best and most honest advice I've heard. Anyone who puts themself under the control of another human with emotions, outside influences, and possibly ulterior motives is asking for trouble.
56 years old and I've never considered marriage. I can't bear the thought of someone having any type of control over me or having to put up with their drama and mood swings. I live a very peaceful, contented life.
You get married or partnered with another adult human anywhere in the world your balls are in a vice, this applies anywhere in the world. Try breaking up in Australia. The frog in the boiling water.. Don't do it, no matter how lovely the relationship is, stay single. Keep the arms length, everything stays fresh, dynamic and if you lose a girl to someone else, so be it. Remember his balls are now in the vice... While you're off on another adventure of discovery... Enjoy life boys and girls.. take care
And it never ends, just imagine all the problems a whole family can have, all the health issues the older folks will have. Now throw into that equation the knowledge she’s with a richy farang.
Nah. I married a thai doctor and we have 4 kids together living in a 12 million baht home her family bought us ❤❤ maybe step up your game and learn to be a man?
@@fehilyfitness maybe the kids aren’t mine. But they do call me daddy tho. If she did divorce me which a lot of u folks like to imagine, i have a 7 figure retirement account 401k + Roth. Maybe stop being so broke and acting like your rich when you get to thailand with your $10,000 🤡
@@fehilyfitness no the kids are from a black man in her previous relationship. I love raising other men’s children supporting them with my hard earned money. I use my money from my 7 figure retirement account to feed and school the kids. 🤡.
@darassylmoniakam Amazing how people reply with "who cares"? If you did not care, a mature person would ignore comment, but it clearly shows that you cared.
Great Post! I first planned to move to Thailand, 24/7 and being 100 percent dependent on my Thai wife. I decided to keep my residency in Europe and spend the winter months in Thailand. If all else fails, I still have a home here no matter what..
what?? Why not do it otherwise?? Keep the european citizenship and get residency in Thailand (this way you dont loose the social benefits of Europe). Or simply just be a tourist in Thailand and use border-hopping.
I am married to a Thai lady but I am on a retirement visa because if something were to happen to her, I will not have to leave in 7 days. I don't feel vulnerable.
That may be so, I was not giving him advice, I was simply pointing out that just because you are married, does not mean one must be on a marriage visa.@@ralphfurley4217
Hi Dave, excellent video. Difficult subject. As a boyfriend, they need you, as a husband they can destroy you. They all know it. Don't believe otherwise. Regards, Tony
I am a Thai woman and I have farang bf he is older than me 4 years I am 26 he is 30, I never ask his money but I think if I ask he will give me and if he ask money from me I will give my money to him too, I really love him we have similar life style don’t smoke don’t drink alcohol don’t like go to club or bar don’t use social media much we like to workout and healthy,we can talk everything,I feel comfortable with him,he is handsome man and he care about me a lot and protective and romantic I can feel that he is really love me, I put him for number one and my family is number two and I will not let my family ruin my relationship, he is the only one person that I want to be with until I die and take care each other go to hospital together when we get old 😂, I really afraid that I will lose him he is the right person for me and I think he think the same 🙂 just want to tell that every women not bad You just haven't found the right person yet.
Interesting the word 'yet'. I have spent so many years looking for the right person, never found her, and now with fading years, it looks like I never will.
Great advice. My partner has helped me get bank account, retirement visa, phone account, yellow house book, ID card, motorcycle with ownership n my name, motorcycle insurance, medical insurance, everything. She’s been brilliant but gets angry when I ask questions wanting to understand how it all works. It’s almost as if she likes to have the control with me needing her help. Sometimes she has trouble understanding where I’m coming from and it takes a lot of patience. I’ll be trying to do more for myself in the future
You are done my friend. Just enjoy days you have with her, but you gave controll over your life to her forever. And forget to play with fire traying to regain it back.
I've watched your video a couple of times now. After reflecting upon your comments I would like to say....thank you for being so real. I'm retired and thinking of finding a 'better' situation (other than Canada) possibly Thailand. What you have shared is incredibly invaluable. Thank you, and I look forward to hearing more.
I was married in the UK, women are women, no matter what country they come from, my advice, stay single, been coming to Thailand 24 years retired here for the last 2 years, I am married to a Thai, If for any reason she got fed up and wanted to go her own way after 17 years of marriage and a 13 year old, so what, plenty more fish in the sea, that's if you want to go fishing, If I were to leave it would be back to the sweatshop where I found her, no money except for my daughter of course, I asked what happens if my wife died, immigration just said we can do you a dependant visa or retirement and a temporary visa until either gets accepted so no getting kicked out after 7 days, but as you said 68,000 baht a month income is not possible for everyone, just get married again then its 40,000 baht a month lmao, you could go get a retirement visa for 35,000 baht fee, no need for the 800,000 baht in the bank ;) don't you wish your own country was like Thailand, look after their own! life's a bitch etc, but I do know where you're coming from, great video and good luck.
you said "you could go get a retirement visa for 35,000 baht fee, no need for the 800,000 baht in the bank".... so I did some searching and can't see that option. Retirement O/A visa is the only one I see at that requires 800K baht in the bank unless I'm missing something?
@@Peace-nb5lm I had a friend who pays a visa office in Pattaya to do his visa and fee, 35k baht, don't know how as I have never used them, but they show you have 800k, he pays 35k every year, me I pay Immigration a tip 1-2000 to do all the paperwork for me, I have 400k but I can use my income as it's 70k a month
You are 100% correct in saying that one needs to be self independent in all things here. I married Thai 10 years ago and was happy for 9 years until she ran off to her old boyfriend from her late teens, because she wanted a younger husband (I'm 76) 555. So, a year ago I packed my bags and moved to Jomtien. It's taken a year to get most of things an expat needs to live here and own our own transport, all things I never did whilst married. Now I know and have it all sorted. Thus taking this advice on this vlog is something I would recommend to others.
Good for you. How is retired & single life in Jomtien for an elderly farang? I was there a few days ago and am seriously thinking about running off from my Thai gf to be single again. Her mood swings are getting to me. Lol...
@@cbs1963 Refreshingly freeing in many ways. There is plenty of quite good accommodation near the beach and all facilities are readily found via baht bus, walking or Bolt/Grab or own transport e.g. a motorcycle. Immigration office is great compared to Bangkok fast and efficient. Medical facilities close by are first class. Of course plenty of bars and eateries and several major mall centers like Central Festival and Terminal 21 in Pattaya. All in all pretty farang friendly and best if you stay partner free for your wallet health.
Perfect timing, I was just looking to find out if the marriage visa is worth anything. Truly a video sent from above! I shall choose the retirement visa option.
Unfortunately even when your in the right in an accident there, the law will often look at it that if you hadn't been in Thailand, as a foreigner it wouldn't have happened. Crazy but true.
@@alphaomegadaily100%. From parents importance to simply asking and answering questions. They view it differently. Honesty isn’t as prioritized as it is in the west. A Thai would rather lie if she thinks you MIGHT misinterpret a situation, even though doing so risks creating a worse situation with a westerner
i can't understand why guys live in a country that treat them unfairly just for being a foreigner. Thailand is a nice place to visit but making it your home is just crazy no matter how cheap it is
So true about being a foreigner and even if you’re in the right you don’t have a leg to stand on (in a traffic dispute for example) It’s the same where I am in North east Asia. I’ve had someone speed up when they saw me, as they were so certain it was their right of way (it wasn’t ), but they were confident if they knocked me over I would have been in the wrong, as the foreigner. I was a pedestrian 😂 but they still felt confident that if they knocked me over in their car, I’d be to blame - I wasn’t jaywalking, it was my right of way, but the stupid driver didn’t understand the rules of the road ( I have been a driver in this country for over 10 years, so I do know them)
If I were you I would get out of there as soon as possible, in my case she tried to kill me, stole my house, ruined my reputation, had secret affairs, involved in terrible things with multiple people, narcissistic, psychopathic, secret life insurance policy, identity theft, could not get help. My story is same as yours, called me king and did everything for me, you are trapped and likely trauma bonded. I am in my 5th year of healing from extreme gaslighting and psychological abuse and manipulation. Do yourself a favor, wake up and painfully escape, do not try to reason or reveal your plan.
A friend of mine was out there on holiday met a girlWhat he didn’t know is she had a boyfriend . He wanted to be with her so he came back home carried on working sending money back to her sold his house she insisted he must transfer that money into her bank account so she can purchase a house that she has found for them this was all lie so Mike lost all the money he had worked for all his life he duly committed suicide. He was a tough Man working as a roofer in the building trade. Not only only losing everything it was the humiliation that go to him. .
Good luck on the rebound and I'm guessing from watching your videos that you have the knowledge and determination to remain active in Thailand if things pan out alright.
some time ago you spoke about the value of the support you get marrying into a Thai family, that it's an advantage versus those without. I guess the vulnerability is the flip side, at least if you're on the marriage visa. I enjoy your content, viewpoints and sage advice, thanks for sharing with us-
I will be retiring in Thailand , hopefully this year. Staying single and keeping my money is the key. I learned my lesson a while ago. Rather die single and happy, then miserable and attached.
By the way, it’s something that is impossible to get used to. They are too proud as we are just insignificant to them. It’s all about their family. Even the strangers in the street will come first and you will come second. It sounds bizarre and unreasonable and that’s only one percent of the issues. You can make these comments on your videos. The good thing is that you’re helping the majority of the men understand reality is everyone else out there makes out like it’s all that until they end up losing all their money, and on top of that the best years of their lives and sooner or later, they end up being Old and back in their own country, and they look back and think what a mistake they made giving their life away to live in a country that controls you
My brother in Africa was married to a Nigerian belonging to the ruling tribe and had family very senior in it. When his marriage went south she had the cops and everything else after him bank frozen assets taken screwed left right and Chelsea.
Very valuable words for ALL men anywhere on the planet. Marriage to ANY female gives her the power and leverage, and compromises your freedom. Is marriage worth the price, gentlemen?
I think if you want to have a family with children marriage is the way to go. But you have to be vigilant and strong and make sure that your woman understands your position. Unfortunately in the west that is no longer possible with many women. And moving to another country to do that where you are not valued is not a good way to go about it either. I don't know what the right answer is but if I was 20 again I would wait until I was 40 then go to Southeast Asia find the bride bring her back to the US and then ultimately somewhere where we could retire together. I would make sure that she was not influence by the feminist movement in the US as much as possible and when I saw red flags I would move.. I would protect my assets and not give her a reason to try to file for divorce, while still being the man in the relationship and in charge. Yeah that sounds like an impossible thing but it's not I just wasn't able to do it.
@@richardclausen154Richard I would say at this point in my life that no it was not. But it depends on which measurement you use. I do have two grown children that are men now. And that is an accomplishment. But do I look back on my life and think yeah that was worth it? No. Life is what you make it, they say but it's also pretty random. Better to just be okay with who you are in the present moment. And for that I need to be autonomous. And I can't be that in a relationship.
@@RobFomenko thanks for that. At 65, I have my two daughters I raised and my grandchildren and a career that I fully enjoy. I have all the relationships I need and also have the quality of life that brings me much peace and fulfillment in my life. Thank you for sharing and may life continue to treat you well.
Good advice my friend. I live in Bangkok alone & im fortunate to have the TB80,000 + per month passive income and I'm on a retirement visa . Stay single in Bangkok !
Fair play to you Dave, interesting information, but please take care of yourself. Make sure you now cover yourself & have enough independence, in mind & body... just in case. I'm sure many of your subscribers care about you & your wellbeing, keep strong.
Thanks for sharing it's nice to have a heartfelt honest discussion about this there's so many horror stories of when marriages go bad for foreigners married to Thai women love is a great thing but when it goes south it can be pretty vicious
Wow , this is REAL material.... not the usual fluff and everything is fabulous and rosy. Thumbs up to you for "keeping it real".... Makes a huge deference for your credibility ..... hope things workout, but as you recently found out, nota a good feeling to find yourself in the twilight of your life... Good luck
Good video. Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. ...it is rare that people give this type of information from this country, so if we think deeper, we lose every time if we are in a conflict, and of course when we give too much trust to a lady from T...Good luck👍🏻
I REALLY appreciate your being so vulnerable with us in telling your story. You are honest and articulate. It is indeed a word to the wise to be aware, as much as possible, of the consequences of your behaviors and decisions. And you have broadened your audience's relative knowledge of the consequences of being a foreigner living in Thailand. You do it with your every video which is why I like you. We will, however, forever be vulnerable to the known and unknown outcomes for every decision we make. Being aware that our very nature is "vulnerability" and tolerance of the distress that may come with that - easier said than done - is what can lead to the peaceful acceptance of any outcome encountered and the way through it. This is the Buddha's path. But please know, "I like your path too! Very much! Honest awareness of various perspectives!" You inform me, my friend. 😉🙏
New subscriber. I've been happily married to a Thai for 29 years - I guess she is playing the long game. We do live in the UK though and she doesn't want to live in Thailand.
If you want to be self sufficient & not feeling vulnerable, learn the language! You will not be denied anything by anybody & will get the utmost respect by everybody!
I think learning the language if you move to a foreign country is key to having control, you can do so much for yourself. I'm new over here but try to speak Thia whenever I can so I can educate myself and learn from mistakes. Even getting something from the local shop in rural Thailand give me a sense of control and achievement
Re: 7 days to leave the country. I discussed this point some time ago with a senior official in the Ministry of Immigration. In the event you’re married to a Thai and your Thai spouse passes away, you are allowed to apply for a new non-spousal visa-a standard non-immigrant retirement or non-immigrant “O” visa-provided you meet the visa provisions. You are granted an extension (permission to stay in the Kingdom) while your visa application is being processed.
This happens with many married couples. One has their duties in the household and the other has different duties. If one partner passes away then the remaining ones needs to take up the other duties and that will take some time to adjust to.
Even THAT is illegal, since she is a "nominee" for a foreigner in Thai Land Law. She may think she "owns" it, but it can be revoked (as illegal and registered in error) AT ANY TIME.
@@davidb2206you can recoup your money as long there is a financial trail as to where the money comes from ,IE bank transfers from your bank to her bank. Never withdraw cash unless it's for day to day expenses.
For the first time listening to several “bloggers”, I am emphatic with this gentleman man - and she knows that - don’t do it fellas- men, especially foreigners, pay very close attention - Good luck- I fear there’s more to come sirs!
My guy. Remember this old saying she is not yours it's just your turn. Whatever rough patch both of you are going threw don't work it out or even talking to her just let her know if you are not happy being here with me there's the door you can always leave and never come back. I bet you $10 she would shut the hell up and humble herself. Don't get married and don't attach yourself to one girl and always have an escape plan.
Thank you for a great video ! You are spot on when you pointing out the vulnerable that many farangs found themselves in. I am living with a Thai lady since 2019 and it’s the best thing ever happened to me. She has a heart of gold, and we are very happy together. I also got two wonderful 10:35 daughters as a bonus. But when it comes to relationships we must be realistic, think’s can change, and you are in a foreign country witch automatically makes you more vulnerable. Personally I would never expose myself to that. I always want too live my life in a way that, if something bad happens I can be on the move in two hours. I love my Thai family and I sure as hell don’t want to live them, but I think it’s good for them to understand the underlying conditions. But we are all different and I fully respect others way too handling this difficulties.
I have oft thought that marriage here in Thailand is pointless. The 'rewards' are not enough to justify the risk. There is no guaranteed right of abode or right to work as there would be in most countries. No right to raise your kids. And you still cannot buy land (easily). All the hassle and you still have to show 400k in the bank as opposed to 800k. So unless you really like cake and expensive parties - don't.
Sounds like a better _breeding ground_ than a staying one. The most beneficial life of a man with conviction in today's world is that of a _rolling stone_ , but you're going to have to deal with the confliction of being a _rolling stone_ if you have children. The downside.
My view on marriage in general has changed the older I’ve gotten (I’m 24 rn). I grew up in a more traditional household, both parents worked but other trad values were there. That caused me to want to get married and think good things about it. But as I’ve gotten older I just see more cons than pros, and it’s really been a back and fourth in my head about it. Logically, ik it’s in my best interest to not get married and if I do I’m extremely vulnerable and it’s kinda a time bomb in a way, but thinking differently I want marriage. I think it’s more for the fact of a partner and the emotional side of it. I know many people only see the wedding and the “good” stuff about it, and I know the statistics about marriages which makes me hesitant. Generally I don’t think marrying a western woman is a good idea right now, there’s always exceptions to the rule tho. lol the passport bros joke seems less and less like a joke as time goes on tho😂
I know quite a few that would benefit from this video, self included. Thanks for opening up and discussing which was in the recent past a sore memory. Thanks again.
Always have a plan "B". I live with my Thai wife in her home upcountry. BUT, I kept my Jomtien condo in my own name and bought it before we were married. I will always have a roof over my head. Just a bit of planning will keep you safe. We have been married for 23 years and I feel quite secure.
Thanks for the video, I really enjoyed what you had to say. I live in Colombia and it's the same thing. Someone can stay here on a marriage visa for one year. Imagine being on the hook with your honey every year to live here. Then, if you buy property together she's entitled to half if divorced. Also, if she moves into a place, that you already own ,and then you get married and then divorced, she's entitled to half of the capital gains that the property made since the marriage. Poverty is rampant here so many women would be happy to get married, get divorced, and have money that would take them years to make. Also, for about $200 U.S. they can have someone killed so she would get it all. Who knows what they're plotting and planning, behind someone's back, with their family or secret lover.
Good advice for those watching. I am heading over at the end of next year to Bangkok to retire with my Thai wife - my son will be doing his last 6 years of school at NIST and I decided I would go there on a guardian visa when I was getting it organised, for the reason you have said. If I want to stay after that & my son does then I will probably get a privilege visa that allows children to stay also. For the same reason I will be renting a condo near the school for us, even though my wife wanted to buy a house that she saw nearby, I want to keep that control (also the market there is nothing I want to invest in). My wife & I have been married 20yrs & have a great relationship, but I have always believed that when there is a one sided power dynamic it is bad for both of the people & the relationship.
