You Need Eight Inches (To Take This Ride) by Dixie Normous & the Yardsticks (1954) 

I ain't foldin' it in half for nobody.

Grandpa always said, “If you can’t hit bottom, at least scrape the hell out of the sides.” Wisdom.

Dixie’s career was taking off like a rocket until she and the Yardsticks were hired to open for Louis Prima in Kansas City. One thing led to another, (as they always did with Louis) and not only did Dixie refuse to ever sing this song again, she got off the bus and hitch-hiked to the convent of the Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual Adoration. Now known as Sister Abstinencia, she declined to comment when asked about the re-discovery of her music. She turns 96 next Tuesday.

I remember her duet with Frank Sinatra, You Can’t Handle This Ass. it was heavenly

My wife and I played this the night we conceived our eight children.

My grandmother would sing this to my grandfather. Now that I look back she was a size queen

Her next big hit, " Why does my muff stink" , really harkens back to the 20s... So timeless and beautiful.

That's one happy breadline down in the thumbnail.

Gee I never heard this song on the radio back in '54. Gotta like the play on words with her name.

I had my first UFO sighting to this song with my Dad back in '55. We called them saucers back then. The sheriff came and we had a good laugh about all the conspiracies. We all know it was those Ruskies. Anyway, Dad and both got a good laugh and a good rogering back at the bar in town that night. Good times.

These are hilariously brilliant.

Yeah I remember my mom singing this tune back in the day.

When I first listened to this in the 50s, I took out my ruler and to my surprise the ruler was too short to get an accurate measurement. I was later known in Highschool as Captain Firehose by the cheerleaders.

I have a feeling we’ll be hearing AI music on the radio by 2027😅

I never heard this before, but I always found it on the record player when I got home from school on milk delivery day. Odd.

They played this song at my prom.....but I was in jail so I missed it. My classmates told me about it when they bailed me out later

It's not the size of the bait, it's how you wiggle your worm.

My grandma would put this on all the time and my Mom would always argue with her to turn it off, I never understood why... Now that I can actually understand the lyrics... I see why 😮

She's looking for Dixie Wrecked!

*Her: I need a man with 12 inches.* *Him: Would you settle for 4 inches 3 times?* 😀

My grandma always told me, " You can't make butter with a toothpick."

Some of you think you need 8....but that's not what your wives, mothers, sisters and daughters told me 😂

Look at that left hand!

Taylor Swift ghost writing again....

Dixie was a deep thinker with the deepest ocean this side of B6.

I remember her opening for the Big Bopper back in 59.

This was Dixie's 12" (twelve-inch) single.

Was this part of her WWII European tour? I think so.... that woman could Entertain the troops she was wild.

Thanks for making me feel less shitty. Apparently we’ve always been crude.

This is masterpiece!

I've got to give it to her, she's got the long and short of it covered.

I love songs from ASCAP publisher members, such as the Famous Music Corporation.

Anything over a mouthful is wasted!

Size queen!

I think I’ve seen Giselle McKenzie sing this on Your Hit Parade on another video. Must have been a very popular song.

Hey, YouTubbers, Moose Nuchol here. I meet Dixie back in 1940 while I was working in The Grand Canyon, plugging holes. Those days were the best

I am giving myself a hand

Interesting song!

Hung like a horse my nickname is Mr. Ed 🐎

She left the convent to train Prince!

I've got a Fist and Forearm, will that Do?

So glad I have 12…

This is how we got the complex

Well, i got out my big 10 inch. Record of the rithem and blues

Tale as old as time....

Back in the day I used to listen to this song while shaking hands with the milkman.

I wish this was on iTunes! This is a theme song to some famous movies!

Dixie is the idol Madonna can't measure up to but god knows she tries.

Well that’s not very tall.

Yeah, real shame about Dixie. It was that dark fella that finally broke that ride😪 R.I.P. Dixie❤❤❤

LMAO

There’s no such person as this, you dreamers. AI is gonna have such fun with y’all.

Her roadies would actually have to measure for her before a guy was brought backstage after the concert to party with her and the band.

Didn’t Deborah Walley sing this song in the movie Gidget Goes Hawaiian?

It’s music appreciation following Sus Records!

My wife's first husband was like that, she said it always hurt. She preferred my "comfortable one."

Guess that leave me taking matters in hand.

I'm surprised at how many women are built like cisterns. The important question being; did they come by that naturally or did they have to work at it.

Short n think does the trick.

wow our grabdparents were real up on it!!! that would never be played now in 2024

Did this really come out in 1954? The new AI videos have me confused.

Joe Biden and his dad always bragged about Corn pops 8 inches when Joe was a little boy.

More than one gentleman at the time, said that she had the whitest teeth, they had ever come across.

I’m surprised the song didn’t get banned

Sus records ! lol

Awesome I’ve got 4 to spare

7" run and hide?? Its the perfect size, unless they lied to me

I concur.

I only have 5.5, but alotta broads like it that wide.

I'm getting circumcised tomorrow........ Anybody after a fan belt.?!

Better than their one attempt at a be bop song, "Tappin Dat Big Azz"

Are these AI generated?

😂

Q u a l i t y.

Remember..... Mind the gap

Are all the lyrics ai, or just a phrase that prompted the rest of the lyrics?

Lmao 😂

Are these songs I'm enjoying listening to actual recordings from the era they sound from or, modern recordings to sound the part?

i wrap mine around my waist, secure it with duct tape, dress and go forth.

Sadly Dixie and the Yard Sticks never made it big in Europe. The song never made sense once converted to the metric system.

My wife was always complaining I only had 3 inches. But seriously, how wide do you want it?

Length or girth?

Lol

Only 8 inches? I never knew Dixie was such an amateur.

Im a niner

❗❗

I always like to think that these songs are actually from an alt-history universe were prudishness never existed.

This AI generated music is true 21st century music. Everything before this was just crappy 20th century music.

She talking about a brotha?

🤙❤️😇😎🌺🤙❤️😇😎🌺 0:43

🤙❤️😇😎🌺🤙❤️😇😎🌺 0:30

Is this AI ?

Is 8cm enough?

8in is standard issue these days my sistas say 21cm min!!!

Dixie has a strange left hand going on there....just sayin'.

Why did my insecure ass have to click on this, my day could have been ruined if I wasn't drunk.

Shes serious tho... guys under 8' dont expect youre wife to be faithful....deal with it...

Barrack Hussein OBAMA's favorite song.