The fact that there's a therapy called Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) that literally rewires a brain to hush that inner critic and to help encourage self compassion... Lia, you know it. Thank you for teaching it.
Feedback! OMG! I loved this talk! And her book, Unstuck, is amazing too! She's funny, smart, and authentic. I am working on my reframing and inner mentor! "Reframe our relationship to the finality of decisions and return to that childlike exploration...."
I've gotten into a real rabbit hole with these talks and I'm so glad because it's led me to this one. I've always struggled with 'listening to my gut' and 'following my instinct' because it's always undermined by that voice in my head. This has given me a lot to think about in terms of figuring out how to differentiate between the two.
We really are our won worst critic. We need to check the facts constantly, but those inner working make us doubt the facts. I really appreciate the suggestions she makes
The feedback thing! I actually stopped taking management position years ago because I thought that it just wasn’t something I was capable of. Maybe it was just my inner critic getting in the way?
There is something seriously refreshing about being able to be open with our work colleagues about this inner critic. I feel like it brings a lot more productivity and understanding.
Less than three minutes in and I'm already like yup, can fully relate. Nothing like feeling as though all eyes are on you to make you dread even the simplest of decisions.
Something that helps me make decisions is the knowledge that none of it really matters anyway, as long as your actions aren't hurting anyone don't get too caught up in all of it
I know how hard it is to make decisions for myself but I can't imagine how difficult it would be to make decisions that are going to affect your child!
Wow you hit a grand slam out of the park video, that can really help every viewer live a better life by mastering decision making the power points in our life where we make a call on something.
I had all this experience, your university credentials do not matter,your confidence to take decisions timely is the key to effective execution and every effort is worth initiating,effort elastic so do not shy away, fear of loosing or failing or being judged are inner instincts, just give that a test,power ahead. You will be triumphant at the end.
Now enter into this emotional manipulators, narcissists, Machiavellians, altruistic narcissists - people who appear as friends or friendly so you allow them into your space and they contaminate your decision making via their nagging, complaints, hidden agenda, mental illness, criticism - can we just talk about the damage these people make without our inner critic.
thank you so much I have made many what I feel are bad decisions and I’m very hard on myself because of them. You’ve given me a whole perception of myself. 💕
@@mg79277 im glad this one sentence I put here made a positive impact on you. That means a lot to me. ❤️ I feel like I did something good. So, thank you as well. GOD bless you always. May you be blessed with clarity, wisdom and peace of mind. 😇
This is why you shouldn't listen to the voice in your head when you have to make a tough call! Gut instincts baby! And don't let anyone - not even yourself - gaslight you into second guesses. Just gather the facts and operate instinctively, like those kids taking their raincoats to the beach ❤
There are 2 types of people in this world; 1) Those who see only what he wanted. 2) Those who are seeing things that are preventing them from getting things that they're wanted. However, please realise that there are only two (2) PAINS that existed in this world while we still could breathe. It's; i) Pain of *Discipline* (kept self harm rituals managed) ii) Pain of *Regret* (we live once, and nothing is worthy aside from things that were meant to increase probability of enabling self betterment) Working hard for things that we do not care about is called STRESS Work hard for things that we love is called PASSION INTENTION SETS IT'S NOT ABOUT THE DESTINATION, IT'S ABOUT THE JOURNEY.. IMAGINATION is NOT WHAT you THINK! It's HOW you THINK!! WHAT we THINK always caught us clueless by PERCEPTIONS and WHAT WE UNDERSTAND.. & WORST when we don't even CARE to get ourselves understood.. (WHAT WE THINK mostly GENERATED by INSTRUMENTS that we consumed. We don't SEE the WORLD as the WORLD REALLY IS.. We SEE the WORLD as OUR INSTRUMENTS ALLOW.. Our TECHNOLOGY EXTENDS US.. It's EXTENDING our INSTRUMENT.. 3 things permanent for all living creatures: 1) Death 2) TAX 3) CHANGE *Two things that can CHANGE my life;* 1) Daily Routines (Daily Habits) 2) Control My Thinking (How I think about myself) *How to get the job done;* Faster? Better? Cheaper? Easier? Observing more.. Questioning more.. Networking more.. Experimenting more.. Associating *(learn as we do, do as we learn via all activated senses ~ What we see, hear, smell, feel, touch & think)* Clarity in *F.A.P.O.S.I* Facts Assumptions Perceptions Opinions Suggestions Instructions DESIRABILITY (✓) VIABILITY (✓) SCALABILITY (✓) *Skills + Wills - Hills* = *Significant Positive Change* (Increase the probability of getting BETTER)
The part about our sub-conscious decision making is really fascinating, like those automatic responses may have developed decades ago and hopefully we're not still the person we were back then so those decisions may not necessarily serve the person we are now, right?
Decisions, those are something that tend to take me a long time to ponder and then one day...its made. So it looks like a quick decision. The ones that require quick action I can make no problem. Perhaps overthinking is the problem.
Depending on the decision ask for advice from those you trust, do your research and trust your instinct. If it looks like a rose and smells like a rose.
It's really interesting, all that not trusting yourself to make hard decisions etc.... I guess because humans ultimately want that certainty, that knowing for sure it's going to be okay feeling, when we don't know what the consequence of making a decision can be it can just kind of cripple is into non-decision... which is kind of worse when you think about it.
Many women cant choose the dress they wear and food they want to eat. So,i think the issue is overthinking. Just like that preschool situation. Its depressing people actually think like that. Just do it. And if you are wrong, change it.
Ummm I'm not sure I think a lot of my decisions have been wrong! Lol but seriously I get what she's saying and will try to go a bit easier on myself....
"On the backdrop of the biases, and double standards we had to contend with in the workplace, our inner critic was taking the bait: often adopting the perspective that we're not good decision makers." I would focus more on emotional manipulation of exploitative and mentally ill people who are aggressive - with hidden agenda, Machiavellians. People who doubt our self worth and we take the bait - where inner critic is just program that is running being executed by external virus attacking our mental stability. It is good to know red flags and to discern who is enemy, there is a term called altruistic narcissist for example - Nurse Ratched, borderline types: people who appear as if they are helping us, but they create damage instead. Consider this: "A few years ago, Facebook, in conjunction with researchers from Cornell and the University of California, conducted an experiment in which they intentionally played with the emotions of 689,000 users by manipulating their feeds so that some users only saw negative stories while others only saw positive stories. Sure enough, when these people posted their own updates, they were greatly influenced by the mood of the posts they’d been shown. Facebook caught a lot of flak over the experiment, primarily because none of the “participants” gave their consent to join the study. Perhaps more frightening than Facebook’s faux pas was just how easily people’s emotions were manipulated. After all, if Facebook can manipulate your emotions just by tweaking your newsfeed, imagine how much easier this is for a real, live person who knows your weaknesses and triggers. A skilled emotional manipulator can destroy your self-esteem and even make you question your sanity." (article: 9 Signs You're Dealing With an Emotional Manipulator, talentsmartEQ)
Kids make decisions that effortlessly because they've only been on the planet for a little while, and society hasn't gaslit them into doubting their instincts yet. Don't call me bitter lol this is pure realism.
What happens if you got drunk and sent text to a stranger that you just did makeup on and ruined relationship with your boyfriend sister the sister help me get the job
Imposter syndrome, it appears to be an epidemic. Its interesting how many women and men don't trust the process. And the inner critic, is just that, a voice that likes to create doubt and stop you in your tracks. The what if questions will blow your mind. Better to stick with pros & cons based on the list of what you need and want.
Yep, we are a generation of people pleasers who want nothing more than to be accepted - so why would we try and rock the boat with ideas and thoughts that so actively go against the grain.
