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So this brought to light a definition of shame that most people don’t realize. We don’t feel shame because we “did something bad,” we feel it because we didn’t stand up for ourselves and we just “stood there and took it” from someone who made us feel like we did something bad when we did not!
Agreed great insight. TY. Often from childhood. What helped a friend was seeing her son at same age she was aware of her abuse. She saw she was only a kid. But we carry that child with us and often (not always) recreate the ‘family’ and ‘love’ we know. Helps feed allowing of abuse by new sources - emotional/physical. Often seen as love by inner child/teen. Shame of abused and abuser helps feed cycle. Victims often create victims. It’s when we see as victim we give power over us to others. But when see how/why when older we attracted certain behavior and situations that we start to feel empowered and break cycles and let go of shame. Unless and until abusers are helped (if willing/able) they continue to create victims and prob abusers. Men often carry shame longer from fear of looking weak. Some say women carry generational scars/shame in our DNA and microbiome back thru thousands of yrs of suppression and abuse. Anyway shame is common. Maybe teachers like Jim will help bring lasting change.
During our session, you mentioned shame and how it can impact a person. I looked into it further and right before coming to watch your video, i read a very good web page on defining shame. Then i came here and listened to this video. I think we automatically think that we dont feel shame but thats because we need a better understanding of what shame actually is. Its all very interesting. So today i read about Shame then i journaled about Shame then listened to this video and my somatic sensations has lessened. Need to continue on this road.
This is 💯 me. A lot of my "positive" traits are probably a result of toxic shame. This video hit me hard. How do you stop believing the lie and start believing you are good enough?
Jim, your videos stand out from the crowd! You bring such a depth of knowledge to this field. Just hearing your voice is calming to my nervous system ❤-Peggy
Nailed it shame is the RULE a lot of us grew up with because we felt we didn’t MEASURE up and that means young don’t belong which in turn is the worst thing that happened in old times BANISHMENT, which we continue to do to OURSELF. funny thing- it was wrong to be treated like that then, but they could be in the grave 10 years, but, WHOSE holding the hammer now?
@@peanutbutterpancakes7 OK I think I figured this out with reading a lot. How to heal, toxic shame, basically we need to be aware of our thoughts especially during moments we are triggered from somebody. This is incredibly hard to do and we need consistent practice on watching the thoughts and catching them in action. once and if you catch a shameful thought and you know because you feel bad inside, you basically want to completely surrender to that bad feeling ““ allowed in your body where is it in your body? What is it look like how big is it does it move around, you want to observe it tell the feeling you are allowed to be in my body. Look at it with love and nurture as you would a small baby. Don’t resist the feeling by wanting the feeling in your body because it is OK that it’s inside of your body. That is ultimately surrender acceptance, and letting go. We want to bring consciousness to the shame in our body and the way to do that is to be aware of the feeling when it arises, you are literally shining consciousness light onto that emotion which ultimately heals it, because it’s being brought to consciousness. I have been working on this heavily for the last months and I can tell you it works very well. I am feeling a lot better and less triggered the more I catch and accept and allow these shameful feelings in my body. It’s OK for them to be in us. It’s totally OK it’s just a sensation. It’s an emotion. It’s an energy force .
@sparkely1122 thanks. It makes sense. I guess I was confused on how to release it. I sit with bad feelings and emotions I even let them amplify, I just didn't know what to do from there.
@@peanutbutterpancakes7 yeah totally I was always really stuck on that part too. It just doesn’t make sense. I think we always just feel like we have to do something in order for something to go away. But the whole idea is to not want it to go away. You want to nurture those feelings and completely resist them from going away that’s how you release them they will naturally“” go away.” Simply by allowing them to be in the watching them and loving them. I healed a couple of chronic pain illnesses and nocturnal panic attacks by doing this. It’s very powerful just work at it practice it as much as you can read about it research it you’ll be all right ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Guilt is feeling bad when you’ve actually done something wrong. It says “I DID something wrong/bad.” Guilt is about something we DID. Shame says “ I AM wrong/bad. There’s something wrong with me.” It is a perspective on self rather than a behavior.
Wow this sounds so much like shadow work Jim.. shame is a really huge topic, I love, love that you are talking about this.. thank you for the amazing content ..🙏🏼🖤
This was a God send to me. I’ve been studying mind body work, Dr Sarno, read Steve Ozanich’s book, etc. many years of trying to figure out my bodily symptoms, one after the other. I fit almost always of the signs you mentioned. How to dissolve it???
I never thought of shame in this way. I always thought it was about something one has done and feels bad about. I was balling through this whole video. I think you found my hidden emotion.
Yes this is so me. Shame runs through my life on every level. Even felt a slight reduction in symptoms as you were speaking. Would love to hear more on how to heal from a shamed past x
Very thought- provoking. I always said shame doesn't resonate with me but this has really made me wonder. How can we tell if we're in denial or whether it doesn't apply?! Great video, thanks
Please never stop making these videos. This one really hit home. I feel as if this shame has more of an impact on my mental state personally. Do you have any advice on how to address this?
Thank you, Jim for your great work! I appreciate very much what you are offering to us. It really is so helpful and enriching, especially this video! Bless you, have a wonderful 2024! Rike from Germany
I initially thought, No definitely not me, but listening to you perhaps I need to dig deeper into this!! ❤ Thank You as always for your amazing work... Wishing you All the Best for 2024!
This message is so valuable. Thank you. Too much on social media in last few yrs seems the opposite. I’m obv not incl extreme cases of depression/anxiety. All emotions are natural and if allowed can be learned from even if thoughts their based on aren’t accurate. Even some stress can be good. We’re meant to be whole not perfect. Human BEING. Life on earth can be a hard go. Making any emotion neg and something to be fixed IMO only adds to feeling of being broken. ✌️
Hi Jim, love this video… as all your videos! I’ve done a session with you before… was thinking to do another one, but was wondering if you know much about cranio cervical instability? Kind of navigating this diagnosis and my belief in tms. Wondering if you could have some insight….
Jim, I was wondering if grief can do the same thing for somatic symptoms such as dizziness or lightheaded and anxiety? Or is it the shame of feeling grief that's causeing repression and so it comes out in symptoms.
Any thoughts. When I eat my neck pain that I have been experiencing for about 12 years goes away only to return after I stop eating or exercising. Is “Frozen Shoulder” TMS?
Frozen shoulder is probably one of the most "tms-y" conditions you can have... same with any "repetitive strains" or chronic pains. If pain/discomfort comes on AFTER, but not WHILE doing an activity, it's very likely tms.
Have to prove ourselves, fear rejection, take the blame/swollow anger, hard on self, not standing up for self, people please to avoid abandonment, perfectionism, overly responsible, afraid to make mistakes, focus on appearance, wanting to hide, don’t feel lovable…