Your family hurts you? | Nouman Ali Khan 

JAZAKALLAHU KHAIRAN for this...can i please have the link to the whole lecture?

Yes im looking for the link for this lecture too. Could u helppp us, pleaseee ?? 💗

@@nsms89 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-jqFWlmlFUrU.html

Aoa.ìwant this video in wtsapp can u share on wtsapp plz plz o need it badly.

What is the actual meaning of sabar plz make a detailed video on it .. most of the teaching are to tolerate unappreciate behavior and things is saba with out doing anything about it

I'm going through same my older brother ruined my life . My wife left and few years later my mum passed away. Now his after my share of my mum property that she gave me. I'm just Quite because he calls I'm greedy. I'm young sibling 41 years old age.

I agree, but you made the best choice… it doesn’t matter who that person is… if their not nice to you distance or avoid them.

@@zackabee5498 he gave his mum house to his wife

@@akrambaig2689 may Allah keep what's truly yours safe for you

I'm on the Same position all my life. The more good I do the more they hate me.

What a toxic and unislamic thing to say. Are shaming people with husnu dhan or are you giving yourself an excuse not to help others?

@@sparklemotion8377 you can still help others, just don't expect anything from them but the bear minimum mutual respect.

@@sparklemotion8377 expectations are one thing and husnu dhan it’s another thing you can do both

@@SafaASaid-gq2wi And you can use words to say nothing People say 'don't expect anything' to people who have been disappointed for trusting people. Yet when people don't expect anything anymore because they don't trust anybody. The same 'don't expect anything' people will say. You should have faith and husnu dhan. People are good, just ask and they will help you. Pessimists are disappointed optimists. People don't do good, people say what makes them look good. If people only preached only what they practiced we would have short khutbas and no toxic positivity. If I don't expect my parents to love me My husband to care and protect me My doctor to treat me My teacher to teach me My friends not to stab me My employer not to pay me Etc etc What the hell am I doing then? You make common decency look like entitlement.

@@sparklemotion8377 I try to do go to everybody I meet, expecting nothing in return. I don't understand why this kind of mentality dose not stand with you. Calling it toxic positivity.

👍

Yes great example!!

Exactly

Yes very sad

And it is a possibility that the speaker is refferring to that Surah as i have heard him before concluding that from Surah Yusuf.

I didn't get your point, we have to serve ties with them, to.make the matter even worst? How does that make sense

It doesnt suits up, if it is not reciprocated in their best way or form possible as well, islam is not just one family's person or one human responsibility, it is for all! We should stop practising victim blaming everywhere in the name of religion

I agree. My extended family are toxic and manipulative bullies. As they've gotten older they seem to get worse and enjoin in upsetting us with unpleasant nonsense. We're always stuck in situations where we have to cater to their needs, but when we need help in times of hardships or happiness they openly can't be bothered to help. It's a never ending cycle and I'm drained.

@@tea-chip-cookies May Allah ease your hardship.

Each situation is unique so severing ties may be mandatory in some cases. Some situations, some may need to move out and may have a better relationship with family. But the best thing is to ask Allah ﷻ to guide you to make the choice and aid you whatever your situation.

Same here ☺️

They dnt kno the actual meaning and solution to such sensitive issues which islam is teaching us..... we have created our own thoughts and sometimes mess up with what Quran actully teaches us ..

I understand that… I was told that my efforts to lose weight or practice assertiveness is all a lie/act and that I am harming myself. Even if I take advice from my family, I got mocked for it

Allah knows best ❤ don't be too harsh on yourself.

Think possitive pls every situation will in your favour it is my 6 year struggle which i achived 🤲🤲🤲

True

For real

😂majority felt same

I am trying to address a broader audience, not replying to anyone person in particular. Please read till the end (even though it’s a very long comment 🙈). Many people in the comments are complaining about their families. But all situations are not created equal. And perception matters. Who knows maybe the complainer himself is much more toxic than the ones he’s complaining about. And yes! Of course some people also go through genuinely hellish experiences due to family. Also it’s worth noting that I do completely agree with Brother Noman… But 12 years ago… I always thought that I am not allowed to severe ties with my family and hence I put up with many illogical nonsensical abuses. And kept striving for Allah’s sake as much as possible. Even had some big fights, cried a lot, and prayed a lot too. Also felt I needed to show my daughter how to deal with difficult situations and family. Eventually… slowly and surely things started to change (after a long struggle; that of course effected my mental & physical health as well). Some days I felt so hopeless and would want to give up totally. But kept going on… because I thought all my other ibaadah won’t even matter if I don’t build a good relationship with my parents and then my siblings. Literally years later things have turned around for the best, around 75 to 85%😅, which is good; so good! And today when I think about it all, it feels so surreal, and I don’t remember the struggles as much as I enjoy the fruits. Masha Allah, SubhaN’Allah, Alhumdulillah!!! And the most important part… when things started getting better and I was able to breathe and was calm enough to think… that’s when I started realizing my part in it all (some of the blame also belonged to me, and rightly so). They were not the only ones who were wrong. I still know that my family was absolutely absurd in those days… but my parents are not very educated and they lack knowledge in so many matters. And that I should have put more effort into my way of communication and also I should have always prayed more. My siblings are a different matter… but when your parents start respecting you and appreciating you… everyone else also follows suit. So the moral of the story is, in most cases, you can turn it around with sincere effort and mercy from Allah, which comes through with perseverance and prayers. And bonus: my daughter was very impressed by how I dealt with everything and with age she has become the best version of herself (Masha Allah) by making me (her mother) her ideal, on how to do it for Allah’s sake. So even though Brother Noman is absolutely right 💯. I am glad I didn’t see this video 12 years ago 🤭

May Allah bless you with more ease.

Yes, islam is a religion, but it teaches u how to live your life in every aspect!! Thank you our Christian and Muslim and any religion frnds!! This is what we need in our world, just acceptance

May Allah swt guide you

God bless you.

thank you very much for your comment. I hope You and your loved ones will one day, read the Quran and be honored with Islam. Stay safe. Have an amazing day 🤲☝️👋🌹

It's soo true

Same bro same 😭😭😭

@@iqrabhat645 may Allah SWT make it easy for you.

@@nat3786 how do you deal woth such things like baddua.? These things have been very hard on me

@@iqrabhat645 dealing with baddua is not easy especially when it comes from a parent. When we are young and naive, we believe everything our parents tell us. But as I grew older, I realized that even Islam says that if you're innocent and someone says baddua to you, it will go back to that person. Secondly, I have also realized that the person who would give me baddua has mental health issues, narcissistic tendencies. Not to say that it doesn't hurt what the person says but I ask Allah SWT to protect me from such people. Dua is very powerful, so you can always do Dua. And you can explain to your parents that Islamically it's not allowed for parents to curse their children.

Yes exactly

Exactly. Qur'an teach us to be good. But not to be naive. The 1st person we should be good to is to ourself 😊. Stay true to our emotion and always ask Allah for guidance to keep us confident with every decision in our life. Either stay close with someone or make a "healthy" distance... Never ever feel guilty for your own mental health..😊

Same here feeling good

Me too 👀✨

You need to at least keep the minimal connection. We're not sopposed to cut off the relationships allah has created us to have

@@NisarBhatti. me too but, i know their is a lesson that i am missing in my maturity.

@@NisarBhatti. me too but i have a feeling that i lack comprehension and maturity in something that will allow me to see there view in life.

Ameen, ya Rabb

Aameen

Aameen

A.A Rabia Be patient with Allah hence I know what you are saying. It is just around the corner. May Allah help you Amiin...

Keep on trusting Allah dear...the Help of Allah is close In sha Allah ♥️

May Allah help you sis

Alhamdulillah

God bless you.. may you get over evil and toxic people.. may God protect us all from such people, Amen!

Bukankah memutus hubungan persaudaraan dilarang dalam Islam? Tap translate button.

@@frifan217 my mental issues made me unable to take care of myself let alone my children. Allah told us to take care of our souls because it's a gift from him and me going to my father KNOWING that I'm harming my soul and my children!!! This is so wrong to me. I don't want to be sick to the point of no return and be a burden to my children who had nothing to do with my father

I also want to leave him

True

I can feel you

So true 🙂

True...

No one can understand your situation if he is not going through that situation

Thanks for your kind words 😇

Al-Hamdu-liLlah. You forgot the first "L"

Yes. I recently was shown the intentions of my closest relatives. How are you doing? It’s such a sign of the times. In the Bible God says he will reveal our enemies to us. So I’m just thanking Him through the shock and pain. Praying for you dear.

Same💔

Cutting of family kinships is very impermissible in Islam. It can even prevent one from entering Islam. Repent to Allah and make the bad, good again

She has no power on you if you pray and make your morning and evening adkar, recite Quran everyday, remain clean, and ask Allah almighty God to protect you.

exactly

Don't give up, keep searching the truth. May Allah guide you.

​@@komo5278 Ameen yaa Allāh

May the Almighty guide you to this true religion

@@fatimas.mohamed5561 Off topic but nice name, you got the name of the Prophet (s.a.w) and his favorite daughter's name

@@komo5278 I must admit that ever since I was called by my first name Fathima, there was so much barakah in my life. Alhamdulillah.

😞 I’m so sorry you’re going thru this Praying it gets better for you

@@Muslimmindset1154 thank u xxx

I can understand how you feeling while typing this

@@Deen_over_Duniya786 it's not nice is it ..but I'm kind of used to it now ..I know my mum loves me but I do feel invisible ..stay strong for u though xx

I can relate to that. Stepping away made me more invisible but it gave me peace. Now a approach them like hot water. We all have to mature. 💛🙏🏽

Just sabr, don't break ties

@@malihamohammed1792 It doesnt suits up, if it is not reciprocated in their best way or form possible as well, islam is not just one family's person or one human responsibility, it is for all! We should stop practising victim blaming everywhere in the name of religion

Also everyone here is complaining about their families. But all situations are not created equal. And perception matters. Who knows maybe the complainer himself is much more toxic than the ones he’s complaining about. I agree with Brother Noman… But 12 years ago, I always thought that I am not allowed to severe ties with my family and hence I put up with many illogical nonsensical abuses. And kept striving for Allah’s sake as much as possible. Even had some big fights, cried a lot, and prayed a lot too. Also felt I needed to show my daughter how to deal with difficult situations and family. Eventually… slowly and surely things started to change (after a long struggle; that of course effected my mental & physical health as well). Some days I felt so hopeless and would want to give up totally. But kept going on… because I thought all my other ibaadah won’t even matter if I don’t build a good relationship with my parents and then my siblings. Literally years later things have turned around for the best, around 75 to 85%😅, which is good; so good! And today when I think about it all, it feels so surreal, and I don’t remember the struggles as much as I enjoy the fruits. Masha Allah, SubhaN’Allah, Alhumdulillah!!! And the most important part… when things started getting better and I was able to breathe and was calm enough to think… that’s when I started realizing my part in it all (some of the blame also belonged to me, and rightly so). They were not the only ones who were wrong. I still know that my family was absolutely absurd in those days… but my parents are not very educated and they lack knowledge in so many matters. And that I should have put more effort into my way of communication and also I should have always prayed more. My siblings are a different matter… but when your parents start respecting you and appreciating you… everyone else also follows suit. So the moral of the story is, in most cases, you can turn it around with sincere effort and mercy from Allah, which comes through with perseverance and prayers. And bonus: my daughter was very impressed by how I dealt with everything and with age she has become the best version of herself (Masha Allah) by making me (her mother) her ideal, on how to do it for Allah’s sake. So even though Brother Noman is absolutely right 💯. I am glad I didn’t see this video 12 years ago 🤭

Best purchase of your life

@@HaveSabr Can you please recommend one? I see so many translated by different people, I'm so confused

@@miyazoe3941 I can recommend you this: www.amazon.com/dp/B08HTG6HYC/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?crid=1OF5DQ5JJY1IX&keywords=quran+saheeh+international&qid=1660801963&sprefix=quran+sa%2Caps%2C222&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFXRzNKMFBZRko2WUQmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTAxNjg2NTZCOE9NWjNVUUkyOEkmZW5jcnlwdGVkQWRJZD1BMTAzNDM5NDIzUlBKWDFaQlhDU0kmd2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==#

Jazakallah Khairan

Only sake of Allah, only. Not even for our prophet. All prayers has to be done only for Allah. Don't forget Surah Fatihah.

yeah, for all.his good lectures , he's not happy with the eye color Allah gave him

Know that you are not alone and you're doing this for the sake of Allah,I had the exact same feeling and thoughts....I still do but this Ramadan I stepped out of isolation and tried to spend a bit time with them at iftar ,first 3_4 days were overwhelming but Alhumdulillah, it's sort of like you get used to their antics 😅 ,but I'd like to say don't be afraid of taking that initial step to being a good person and a better version of yourself!💕✨

@@eshanaz8234 Wow, thank you so much! I'm so glad you could make that positive change. I hope things will get better every day with you and your family❤❤

@@b2_bluedragon212 Thank you,I pray the same for you as well!❤️✨

Any type of abuse is bad & it’s wrong. Our family members should know better.

Omg..same here..I really feel for you. My family has been doing this to me for ages and now trying to do it to my kids as well. The last straw for me was Eid time..when I slaved away all morning to make their kids. Deserts, drop them off on time andrush bk to get ready with my kids ..only to find the whole smily has ate without us..it made me feel so unloved and undervalued..I cried soo hard that ay looking at the disappointment on my kids faces...Eid is ment to be a time where family gets together...in the end we ended up eating in our ow like strangers being fed at my mum's house....it was horrible and horrible words were said between all of us...what eats me up is I have no love or respect for my mum...she has no idea how to hold us all together and is incapable of teaching us basic manners but will quickly blame and twist words and use us for her own ends ..sometimes I really worry Allaah is punishing me because I can't love my mum...it hurts soo much

I don't need drama so of course I will cut them off.

@EmpressKajal I've had exactly the same experience as you. I'm also from England. Alhumdulilah, we got through it and have our own family! The abuse bought me closer to Islam. They disowned me , since then it's been a relief to live the islamic way, no toxic culture or people.

But some relationships are so bad they don't stay away and they always and always interfere with your privacy and they always have bad intension

Oppression is haram in Islam