Your money trauma starts at childhood | Your Brain on Money

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Do you remember feeling “money shame” for the first time?
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It’s no secret that the values, advice, and experiences we encounter as children shape how we relate to other people later in life. But less obvious is how our early experiences shape our relationship with money.
Like other relationships, the ways we interact with money - whether it be spending, saving, or investing - can be highly emotionally charged, sometimes to the extent that we lose our control to make smart financial decisions.
That’s why it’s important to understand where you come from before plotting where you’re going when it comes to personal finance. Doing so will not only help you plan for financial success, but it will also give you the tools to help your children develop a healthy and positive relationship with money.
Kathleen Burns Kingsbury’s title is incorrectly cited in the video as financial psychologist. Kingsbury’s title is wealth psychology expert.
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We created this video in partnership with @MillionStoriesMedia
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Опубликовано:

2 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 567

@M4y_000 Год назад

I grew up poor and now as a adult i understood why i am so frugal, I'm really good in saving money but it's a bit toxic because it comes from the fear of not being able to afford the most simple things like in my childhood. And even now that i have enough to live well the anxiety that it is still not enough is quite crippling.

@julieross1984 Год назад

As a kid, I knew how much dad got paid, how much our rent was, and how much we paid for food. Granted it was a naive view, but its probably a lot more than the other kids in my grade knew, and I had no idea how much extra they were spending on drinking/smoking/gambling. Even as I'm approaching 40, I still have the "poor" mentality and the "stench of poverty" still sticks to me. I didn't have the same opportunities and experiences as my peers and have had to struggle a lot more to get ahead. I'm generally anxious and don't have the carefree attitude of others so struggle to interact with people. How you grew up with money has lifelong impacts.

@jeremiec8014 Год назад

Same, I'm not rich by any means but doing alright financially yet every time I spend even a modest amount of money even on essential things I feel like I just ruined my life for the rest of the day.

@Ranstone Год назад

It also probably emotionally cripples you from investing big, thus potentially continuing the generational poverty.

@joethebassplayer Год назад

I too, grew up very poor and have been "self-sufficient" since I was 13 (e.g. clothes, school expenses, & even meals). My problem now is I am stuck in a "survival mode" despite being "okay" financially. I am constantly thinking about and worrying about money even when I have savings. This constant concern gets tiresome and contributes to my perpetual sense of burnout... I'm 45 now and own my business and these past 3 years have me frayed to my limits. I dod not know what I can even do about it at this point.

@neosapienz7885 Год назад

The opposite happens even more often as well.

@compaqtube Год назад

Kathleen, I think the issue wasn’t that you loved money but that you were stealing lmao

@nickwondergem Год назад

Kathleen is in denial

@nicomal Год назад

She hasn't learned her lesson all these years later.

@daveangeloobico7456 Год назад

It's still the same issue. She loves money and the what made her worry I think is she loves money too much to the point she had to steal those change from her past.

@joelpeterson3894 Год назад

Stealing is the effect, not the cause.

@ignacioveiga2539 Год назад

@@joelpeterson3894 yep, guess Pablo Escobar must've loved money too

@stevenhill3136 Год назад

I'm forever grateful for my father telling how to never pay interest on credit cards when he said; "'Never spend more money than you have and always pay the bill on time"' Thank you Dad!

@ZZ-qy5mv Год назад

A high school teacher did that for me. I always wondered if he snuck that one week long finance lesson in the curriculum himself.

@liquidmagma Год назад

It's amazing the number of people that didn't or WON'T learn that simple lesson.

@adaharrisonn Год назад

@@liquidmagma it's amazing how many people don't realize how less and less possible it is to follow those parameters in the real world.

@14534 Год назад

Mine always said ‘pay yourself first’

@liquidmagma Год назад

@@adaharrisonn No, it's amazing how undisciplined and childish the entitled crowd is in the real world.

@stuflikethis Год назад

I’m not stealing, I just love money so much - Kathleen

@lovelasnow Год назад

If you want to talk about money trauma from childhood, I used to be good at saving money but the one lesson I learned in childhood is that if I don’t spend my money someone else will

@stansmith9293 Год назад

Damn..

@Teribare Год назад

My parents took all of my savings just to buy themselves a flatscreen tv or a coach for example during my childhood. So I understand this too well.

@silentladyd Год назад

As a child I would always hide money in the most unusual places and the moment I wasn't home, my mom searched every nook and cranny, and took it. Even now I'm set to save as much as I earn, but it's paralyzing my decisions, it's really hard to choose what to spend it on in fear it will disappear again. My mom still spends every last penny she has and she is always in debt with nothing to show for, no proof what she spends on, and we have the same income.

@lovelasnow Год назад

@@silentladyd i feel your pain, the best you can do is take a break from her. Depending on your family situation it could be as simple as leaving the phone on silent( my phone was stuck on silent for half a year, I honestly didn’t know it was), what I’ve found is that those kinds of people can find money no matter what. Or as long as you move away from where your parents can see what you’re doing, just claim to be flat broke, it helps if you have a hobby that’s distracting that you can tell them you’ve taken up, like sewing or gardening (they can get expensive). And if you’re really stuck on what to spend take a day to have a walk through a mall or thrift store or flea market, you don’t need to buy anything just take a picture of whatever made you happy or excited during your trip and learn more about it

@Zoooooooooooo Год назад

@@Teribare W parents

@ScottiveNatish Год назад

This is a tough subject for most. Whether you agree with every point or not, this is a great conversation starter. Money loses its power and mystique when you discuss it rationally...especially with the intention of understanding it more. I noticed in the comments there are many like me who never had any conversations about money with anyone in the family. In my case, it was because they didn't have a clue either. In reference to the trauma in the title, money (or rather the lack of) has traumatized some folks. Yet here we are. In the age of information. If we're still functioning, we can learn and improve upon today. No one is going to learn it for us. I mean, do we want them to chew our food for us too?? Stop blaming. Stop shaming. There are a lot of people who have overcome some wicked adversity. We can too. Or not. Up to us.

@rg1283 Год назад

Damn right!

@happyliving1922 Год назад

We can blame the economy for allowing the rich to boost profits off a pandemic while the rest of us get poorer.

@lolodaloco6385 10 месяцев назад

Thank you

@jayyzee5708 Год назад

‘You love so much that you want to keep it’ Yeah.. no, the clear message was to not steal/keep someone else’s money for yourself

@o2lawesomeness625 Год назад

the only comment stating this lol yeah that woman is nuts LOL

@a0um Год назад

I find that rationalization contrived but maybe 1. at a young age the distinction between what’s “mine” and “my mother’s“ is not quite clear 2. we don’t know what her mother actually told her, perhaps her mother really gave her some weird message

@adaharrisonn Год назад

This is pretty bogus.

@samgould8567 Год назад

Someone so seemingly out of touch probably obtained their views at an early age. I’m guessing that this woman’s mom was actually greedy and passed on a message of “what’s mine is mine” instead of “taking or withholding any person’s money without their permission is immoral.”

@CAT-zc8xs Год назад

My parents were terrible with money saw how they struggled my entire childhood. So I learned to do the opposite of whatever they do. It’s worked out great!

@morbidmanmusic Год назад

... and oddly, you have them to thank for that. So they did their job!

@blackaugust2035 Год назад

yeah sometimes its better to learn how to avoid being them !!!

@WOWDOWN Год назад

“A smart person learns from their mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others.”

@es8117 Год назад

Feeling your mistakes is better.

@VideoGameStormers Год назад

A wise person learns from experiences. Your mistake can be internalized and make you wiser. A smarter wise person can do the same from other's mistakes, but an even smarter wise person looks for what others do to succeed.

@ikemadi6265 Год назад

I was expecting some advices for people who have financial trauma already and I was disappointed

@pedrova8058 Год назад

message of the day: it doesn't matter if you keep money that is not yours, let no one diminish your love for it xDDD

@iforget6940 Год назад

@pedrova8058 hey I have a couple of ak47s do you wanna rob a bank maybe together

@nicoferrari8 Год назад

I was raised in a middle class family, and like most middle class families is the last couple of decades, sometimes we had to cut our expenses, other times we could afford more things, for example a game console, new tv, etc. And my main take away from all of that is to understand the proper value of money, understand that money is just a tool, a tool that you should take care of but not to the point of being something you "love'' or are afraid of, it should not be the center of your life. At the end of the day money a is a tool to help us get through life, nothing less, nothing more. And like any tool it, doesn't work for everything.

@doc-aj7842 Год назад

I think it's become tool only when you have certain amount of it to be actually be philosophical about it(money) ........ If you don't cross that threshold it all bs theory of moral high ground... The whole video of above clip is - to help in overcoming biases not to re-inforce of One own borrowed belief .

@alinstoi Год назад

Well said!

@NoJokesHere Год назад

Spoken like a true poor man. Yeah I'm in that same boat so I see your statement for what it is.....a coping mechanism. None of us like the shit we're stuck in.

@rfdiego777 Год назад

100% agree, if you make your life about money itself, it will be a boring insignificant one

@rfdiego777 Год назад

@@NoJokesHere it's not a coping mechanism, it's about understanding the things that give value to your life. For the real poor people I understand money is important because they have needs they can't satisfy, but once you have a decent life, more money won't add a lot to that, it will become just an unhealthy obsession

@thehollowbible Год назад

This video had me thinking about my own money story. I remember being a 10 year old with like $80 in my piggy bank and my mom eventually asking me if she can use it. She paid me back only after a while. It was hard for her as a relatively new single mom but to this day I have trouble saving because I subconsciously don’t see a point to it.

@sepoker Год назад

that’s just projection

@konstaConstant Год назад

@@sepoker yes, nothing to see here. Just *projection*

@judithhenry4567 Год назад

Please I need help, I’m tired of scammers online

@kelvinjeff3893 Год назад

Mr Rashford can help you recover all your bitcoin lost back into your wallet 😊

@charlotteamelia3917 Год назад

How can I reach out to him please 🙏

@kelvinjeff3893 Год назад

➕ 1601

@kelvinjeff3893 Год назад

287

@kelvinjeff3893 Год назад

5456

@thomasseichter5670 Год назад

How broken is Kathleens analysis of her love to money? She thinks the message of her mother was that love for money is a shame, whereas she should be ashamed of taking money that doesn't belong her. But great to hear that she overcame that shame of taking money that's nor hers, now that she is in a position of power as Entrepreneur.

@richardmccabe2392 Год назад

Keep in mind her impression of being scolded for keeping the nickel was cemented when she was a child, and most likely unconsciously influenced her decision making around money as she grew into an adult. It's possible her mother didn't communicate clearly enough why it was wrong to keep the nickel but just scolded her for keeping it.

@thomasseichter5670 Год назад

@@richardmccabe2392 that why I said her analysis is broken, not the actual relationship.

@ravecrab Год назад

How is an entrepreneur a position of power?

@SanlyLiuu 2 месяца назад

I first learned about money insecurity when I read an article about food insecurity and realizing hey that sounds like me with money and never realize it until that day that I do indeed have money insecurity. I am a millionaire now but I always feel poor, and I hoard money so much I don't spend on anything and I always check on my bank account to keep me calm and reassure myself that I am safe. Not sure if I can heal from this but being aware of those irrational thoughts definitely helps in some sort of way.

@61CatLady14 Год назад

I can relate to the one story. My family was "less than middle class" and we never had enough money. As a result, I'm always worried about money. I constantly think about my budget and try to save as much as I can. Next month I will start getting more money and all I can think about is how much I can save.

@camman408 Год назад

I feel very fortunate to have stumbled into a career of personal banking at 18 that required me to have money conversations for 8 hours a day with strangers. I learned a great deal about personal finances and it was very natural to translate to my personal life. again this is all for the spreading of knowledge on banking and finance with friends and family to clarify how to succeed.. Great video!

@ibefilmin Год назад

"The Love of Money, is the root of all kinds of evil" is the actual quote. People always forget the Love part. Money isn't the root. The Love for Money is.

@RayoAtra Год назад

however loving money is the systemic result under the structure of our current socio economic thinking.

@ibefilmin Год назад

@@RayoAtraGreed is powerful, I have seen homeless give their only dollar to another person while the wealthy just ignore the needy. It's like once you have money, you don't want to not have it. If you never had money, it only seems like a roadblock to happiness. Not sure if we have been taught to love it or want it, or maybe both.

@FabioEste94 Год назад

Kathleen from this video doesn't approve

@quillsoul Год назад

YES

@alfredfritz4659 Год назад

Yeah it's from the Bible btw. 1 Timothy 6:10.

@UsualSuspect404 Год назад

I grew up in the 70's. When I was 10yrs old I went on a school field trip from Detroit to Holland Michigan. I think my parents gave me a packed lunch and 20$. I bought some candy and 2 souvenirs. On the trip back home I was out of money. The bus stopped at a restaurant and everyone got off to eat late lunch/dinner except me. I sat on the bus while everyone else ate. That experience forever changed my relationship with money!! Forever! My mom says I am "frugal". I have been a Millionaire a couple times over. I have lived in "Mansions" I retired at 58 with plenty of $. I still drive a 13 yr old Toyota. There is so much truth on this video.

@em-mg7mf Год назад

I wasn't taught about personal finance in school but my history teacher used to tell my class the birth of money in middle school. That story changes the way how I view money completely. It is something we trade for stuffs we need to improve our health, relationship and more. It is not valuable itself, the way you spend it is.

@GothBatty Год назад

JP Morgan took finance out of school. 😏💵🏦🏧

@charitymasango2649 Год назад

Love this

@charitymasango2649 Год назад

@@GothBatty makes cents... The cents we make/earn in comparison

@jordanb.4514 Год назад

@@GothBatty source? a quick google search shows nothing

@GothBatty Год назад

@@charitymasango2649 😄

@mindfulnesswithmatt Год назад

Our relationship with money is so plagued with fear because we weren't taught financial literacy at home and in school. We need to heal that relationship and make more value of money rather than just making more of it. A great series, thank you

@arlenehutchinson9259 Год назад

Love that...Make more VALUE out of money 💰 💯 Thanks

@whatisrokosbasilisk80 Год назад

Shut up Matt

@jaspershepherdsmith9047 Год назад

This Kathleen lady is balls-to-the-wall insane. 'I stole money from my mom and she got mad, so I grew up thinking that my love of money is shameful'. Absolutely demented.

@SUPERFUKINGAWESOME Год назад

''Absolutely demented'' HAHAHAHAHAHAHA🏆

@La0bouchere Год назад

I think you and a lot of others missed the point. Children don't think perfectly rationally, and draw incorrect conclusions if they're punished without perfectly understanding why. If a child wants something, takes it, and gets yelled at, they'll definitely think the problem is them wanting the thing. She just forgot that she needed to spoon feed even the most simple points to keep a youtube audience on track, so she didn't go into it.

@GoogleUser-vz5et 2 месяца назад

Please don't have children.

@SN-sz7kw Год назад

Financial literacy can take generations to develop. My parents had close to zero. I’ve done well, but learned a lot the hard way. I still carry my parents’ sense of inferiority & fear of overreaching. Hoping my daughters will be way ahead of me. At 19, my eldest talks about building “family wealth” in terms of our property investments. I sense she’s broken free of the family past. 🤞🤞🤞

@N0Xa880iUL Год назад

Agreed. It's a generational effort.

@jmvwegnerpriest 6 месяцев назад

Awesome, sounds like you successfully broke the money trauma cycle!👍♥

@eduardopadilla1307 Год назад

as a teacher, my recommendation to parents is make it a habit to randomly explain things to your kids, like how you´re making your taxes when they find you late at night working on them, or why doors creak when they complain that their door makes too much noise, how hospitals make money when you go to check something, why you never reach the rainbow, how traffic lights work, who's that guy whose name is in the street you're on...... the worst that can happen is that they learn something that's never going to come up in life again

@YouGuessIGuess Год назад

If the people who make the most money had any shame about what they're willing to do to get it, the rest of us wouldn't have to worry so much about making enough money to survive.

@jmvwegnerpriest 6 месяцев назад

I don’t know, people are so complex, sometimes they can come across as lazy. I have observed in my in-laws their family stories about being poor and how everything is so unfair. When I compared it to my own grandparents (as they were a greater example than my own parents), I saw my also really poor grandparents do so well in comparison. The difference? My grandparents were super grateful for every opportunity to make money and meet their own needs, with really tough labour-intensive jobs. Complaining wasn’t part of their psyche. I always thought if my in-laws spent those hours working instead of complaining, they would already be plugging those financial holes real fast. So I’m not trying to say poverty doesn’t put people at a great disadvantage, but there is definitely a variety of degrees of motivation of people willing to work hard.

@joycewright5386 Год назад

My sister and I grew up very poor. As an adult I have always lived beneath my means and followed a budget. My sister on the other hand bought everything she could because “ you only live once”.

@alelectric2767 Год назад

My dad was paranoid about money because he didn’t have any growing up poor. This made me paranoid about it as well. I don’t have alot of money but I’m not poor but still worry about money.

@Yah207 Год назад

I always end up watching the videos of Big Think feeling empty-handed. You give a great title that is like a point to the topic, but when i dive deeper in the video i don't find what i am looking for (the purpose that is formed after reading the title and which i am supposed to get after watching the video, is missing). Can I get the chance to know how to benefit as much as I can from your videos?

@SN-sz7kw Год назад

Same here. Somewhat interesting, but very general content. Over promising & under delivering.

@Selsmittenxo Год назад

Maybe it’s the short form content? Try their longer videos

@skatesatgod-fusion2619 Год назад

I noticed it a year or two back and since then avoid most videos from them. Its over-sensationalized titles/videos with the over the top music while the content itself is of little substance and sometimes not delivering on the title at all. Clickbait through and through.

@Yah207 Год назад

@@Selsmittenxo Is it possible to get longer videos about the same title? This matters actually

@Yah207 Год назад

@@SN-sz7kw Yes, exactly

@massabranca Год назад

this was wildly disappointing. there's so much to say about the wake-up call that climate change has given in the sense of making the obvious point that the hoarding money mentality is dangerous. in opposition to that, here comes a video about rationalizing the hoarding message. money has INSTRUMENTAL value, it is really not something to be loved intrinsically. really disappointed by big think in this one. the story of the blond lady is a story of self-indulgency via low-key stealing told in a pseudo-intellectualized way, which is just plainfully a terrible message to spread.

@La0bouchere Год назад

This is incorrect, countries that have more money and more spending power are much better equipped to solve climate change. See the difference in emissions for poorer countries vs wealthy countries for evidence. Your comment seems to be the result of a bad money story you learned in childhood, and should probably rewatch the video until you stop missing it's point.

@massabranca Год назад

@@La0bouchere "countries that have more money and more spending power are much better equipped to solve climate change" = greenwashing

@Donna011 Год назад

I feel sad that even though I am lnvesting, I don't have the brain power to dig through how each company is doing, is this a good time to buy stocks or not, my reserve of $450K is laying waste to inflation and I don't know what to do at this point tbh, I need solid data on market trajectory

@Marquez54 Год назад

I'll suggest you find a mentor or someone with experience to guide you especially in this recession.

@Joaquim230 Год назад

Patricia Grace is quite popular on Bloomberg I doubt if there is anyone who is serious about stock trading that doesn't know her. She has helped me quite a few times in growing my portfolio and it was blissful without any setbacks. she is a tough person in an industry that demands clairvoyance

@Donna011 Год назад

Grace Ellis appears to know her stuff; after researching her, I discovered her educational background and qualifications 0n her website. I sent her a message 0utlining my experience and goals; hopefully, she responds soon..

@Zubarevich12 Год назад

There’s no limitation to what we can achieve if you put your mind to it...✌️

@Happy-xi9hl Год назад

If you don't have time or money or advice then just go for an Index Fund... you won't lose money in the long term... think 10yrs. You'll beat inflation and get good returns.

@redvertex333 Год назад

people beware , the comments section full of scams

@ClassyGameRacer Год назад

Transgenerational education played a big role in shaping up the children financial's education. The core values you wanna pass down to them is definitely based on the the narrative u want to tell your children.

@JustCallMeOlu 2 месяца назад

Wow! Everyone’s experience is so different! That milk situation happened to me and my parents didn’t care about the change at all. So I began to think as I did more and more errands lol that I get rewarded when I do things for others and that there’s always more than enough.

@elisethethird3248 Год назад

My mother's father was addicted to gambling. Sometimes the family had a lot of money thanks to this, and sometimes it was all lost. My mother always had a sense that nothing she can do has power to earn money - she always tried to find ways to leech it off of other people rather than earn it herself. When she made a bit, she would immediately spend it on expensive food and objects that oftentimes she didn't even need, and then when it was running out she was saving every penny. She never acknowledged her role in that, she would always just say "God gave money, god took the money away". Today, I have a lot of financial anxiety. I constantly feel like I'm going to lose everything, like it's just a matter of time before I end up on the streets no matter how hard I work. I dream of a sense of stability but I realize that it will only come after death

@jmvwegnerpriest 6 месяцев назад

Maybe you can break the cycle for your children (if you have or will have/want them). I try to for our son, all those unhealthy ideas stuck in me from childhood, whenever I am aware of them I just pretend I am someone else. Someone calm and non-neurotic. He’s worth it and I find it works, he already feels much better about himself than I ever did. No shaming is so important, about money or anything else. @elisethethird3248. Your anxiety is a natural result of your unpredictable childhood. You sound very sensible and will be fine! Love and courage to you♥💕

@MicahRousey Год назад

To the lady who learned her love of money is shameful.... It's the stealing from your mother that's shameful. Way to deny your wrongdoing and turn it into your emotions. WTAF.

@Daydreamerr13 Год назад

Exactly😂

@kaustos Год назад

Financial skills are not hereditary, money is not natural. Money management is an intellectual game, not epigenetics. We fail at teaching children the value of their labor - what their body and mind is worth and how it is their only one. When someone does not understand their own worth they cannot play the money game at all, many have an overinflated sense of worth, and many incorrectly think they are worthless. How incredible to frame grandpas distrust of the bank as a character flaw when the banks are what failed.

@christinapomponio6452 Год назад

After hearing how Kathleen didn't and clearly still don't understand that stealing was the problem I would not take ANY financial advice from her.

@carolynwhite9975 2 месяца назад

@christinapomponio6452 Exactly, I wouldn't go to Kathleen, someone that has no shame for taking something that doesn't belong to you..nah I'll pass on Kathleen

@tessacarstairs5998 Месяц назад

My mom never said things like "We can't afford that." Instead, she would lie and shame me into thinking I didn't deserve it. She called me vain when I asked for an allowance to go out with my friends when I was 10. She lied that the art class I was interested in didn't want me as a student. I still bear a deep shame surrounding asking for anything of anyone.

@kevinpopescu9741 Год назад

I'm pretty happy about how my parents handled that. As a child I got coins and scraps and was encouraged to pile them up. I really liked how shiny they were and to look at them but didn't even really what their purpose was yet. Then one day, my parents dumped a bit of cash on the table (so it was relatable to me) to count it before going to the bank and invited me to do the same and helped me to count it effectively. And then we got to the toystore and I could afford that one dinosaur I've been eyeing for so damn long it was the best 😭😭😭

@jmvwegnerpriest 6 месяцев назад

Awesome!

@davidrasmussen6971 Год назад

The music is too dramatic and it takes away from the message.

@nabzy28 Год назад

I had a shop teacher (yes, SHOP teacher) in middle school that had us pick stocks and track their value over the school year. It piqued my interest in financial markets and, probably, set me up for the success that I've had in life to this day. Zero debt. Will have a home paid off about 12 years early and a job that allows for plenty of time for hobbies and relaxing. Minimal stress. All before mid-40's. I also had learned and observed both my parents and grandparents handling of finances and reasoned out the lessons from both quite a long time ago. Good video to explain and lay out the reasons why people need to have conversations and thoughts about this subject as early as possible.

@gnocchidokie Год назад

The biggest lesson in the age of digital money is understanding that having enough money to pay for something doesn’t mean you can *afford* it. You have enough money to order Uber eats but you can’t afford to order Uber eats because it costs such a large percentage of your available cash and doing so will erase the value of your money. You’re really going to spend 4 work hours of take home pay on one little meal?

@singularityscan Год назад

My parents are old hippies(now), so i guess i got there value's. I hate money, and what it is doing to us. We can only make or build things that earn more than you spend. Money removes us from the suffering we cause others, laying in a swimming pool with a dink all seems fine, but far away people die of hunger(some times even really close together). I don't want to introduce my child to the limitations and cruelty of money, and absolutely not at that early age.

@liquidmagma Год назад

So you condemn your child to being poor. Nice.

@BrianGivensYtube Год назад

This is why the wealth gap keeps getting bigger. Wealthy parents teach about how to make, save, and invest money. Poor parents do not have anything to teach! Every generation, wealthy people get richer by applying those lessons to their family’s existing wealth. The bottom stays at the bottom and the ceiling gets higher. Its all about education.

@dylanakent Год назад

Parents traumatized by the Depression, continued to be traumatized by it no matter how much money they saved or made. The subject was totally toxic, a secret mystery never discussed and a giant "NO". Effects of this were multi-generational. Merely asking to go to college was offensive. They did ok with some HS, why won't you? 3 intelligent kids, no savings, no planning for college, no encouragement, not even ever an inquiry as to how one might ever study or work for any kind of scholarship. Taking an unpaid internship for a career was considered absolute crazy talk. Can't own rental property because all tenants are bad people. Win the lottery? Well, managing that money would be a burden because it would never occur to anyone to trust or ask for financial advice and on and on....

@Teribare Год назад

My brother and I learned early on, many things from our parents that has made a huge impact in our relationship with money. 1. Someone will always try to spend our money if we don't spend it. 2. Profiting being a vice rather than being good as they were religious. 3. Exaggeration in money making and reckless spending leads to more harm than good in social/family dynamics. What happened as we are now adults? My brother is always living like he's paycheck to paycheck. I live frugally and lie about how much I make and spend some of my extra money into to stuff (things I dont need) rather putting all the extra money into savings or even investments.

@genxx2724 Год назад

Read the Parable of the Talents. We are supposed to invest money to generate more.

@justjuniorjaw Год назад

I would say experience sells. It's scary to both the parent and child. Using money at a younger age (whether real, fake or lack thereof) can help start the journey.

@EzBz982 Год назад

Teach your kids that politicians and abstract entities like the government do not manage money well.

@joelyazell7380 Год назад

There’s never enough if you’re not worth it. Both greed and poverties driver is you

@ahah1785 Год назад

low expenses is the key. There are a limit to how much yo can work yourself before health suffers. Health is worth billion times more than money - never forget that! If expenses and rent is high vote vith your legs even if its hard to move. This is valid for lower to mid income jobs, if you have found or got lucky enough to get payed a high income salary, i guess its a question of what is worth to you then ....

@melodeendigaye Год назад

Hahahaha "we're middle class but lower - yea mum they've got words for that!" 😅 This was so insightful. Absolutely enjoyed this!

@rogerclark3 Год назад

We are taught that "the love of money is the root of all evil", and "money doesn't buy happiness", and "money doesn't grow on trees", and now the elites are just straight up telling us "you will own nothing and be happy".

@duetopersonalreasonsaaaaaa Год назад

Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a trauma therapist 😔

@rogerclark3 Год назад

@@duetopersonalreasonsaaaaaa It can also buy a heck of a lot of happiness...

@duetopersonalreasonsaaaaaa Год назад

@@rogerclark3 it can buy items that can give you short term happiness as well as give you food/home stability which gives you peace of mind, on top of it being able to buy the services of a psychologist :)

@QoraxAudio Год назад

"money doesn't buy happiness" is probably one of the most damaging nonsense mantras of our western world. It's simply a justification for extremely rich people to hoard so much money that other parts of society have to suffer a life in poverty.

@lil----lil Год назад

When I read rich/poor daddy. It OPENED my eyes. Even TODAY, money seems like a taboo subject from grade school, and remains an obscure subject even in High Schools. Money should be a MANDATORY subject like English & Math - if a kid starts to put away some money as early as a 5 year old, we will eliminate poverty in ONE Century.

@chriscook2479 Год назад

Beware that you don't sell all of your time for money. Rather give it away to the ones that truly value it. If you do that properly then you will know what it is to be abundantly rich.

@craigmerkey8518 Год назад

Great examples1 Growing up I realized the difference b/t frugality, budget and hoarding are not the same !

@asankajayaweera7212 Год назад

The money trauma has its own perpetuality. I am really afraid of pilfering money because my one of relatives was supremely suffered due to stealing money. So I never wanted to steal money even at the young age.

@StrumVogel Год назад

Growing up poor is a huge trauma for me. Fortunately, I no longer live in Southeast Asia anymore.

@QueenD75172 Год назад

Omg. That anxiety is so real despite the fact that I now earn enough and learned good financial habits. Yet, I constantly plan towards a time when I earn less, not enjoying that I am doing well right NOW.

@zephfyre5167 Год назад

I'm earning a lot more than I did before but I always have this urge to store most of it in my bank account instead of investing or even buying some essentials like a good pair of shoes that costs more than the three pairs of cheap shoes that I have now that hurt my feet at times. I hate having to worry about money up to this extent that I don't feel like enjoying it when I have it.

@Symaethis Год назад

My grandparents were farmers with no significant school education. My parents are working-class employees. I am the first person in my family to go to university (I studied chemistry), I have earned a little bit of money by now, and I have absolutely no fucking clue whatsoever what to do with it. Like, should I invest it? In what?? How should I prepare for retirement???? Nobody in my family / friend circle knows anything about that. It gives me so much anxiety and I hate it.

@joaquin67 Год назад

Growing up, I always knew I had to save up. But growing up in an oilfield town, that made a stronger influence on how I viewed money. I almost despised money, because people always had a love for it. It also speaks to how I've been against making more money. But recently my views on it are more that it's a tool and that can alleviate stress and can afford experiences that can make you happy memories. Most importantly, when I learned making more literally increasing your serotonin levels, I'm now aiming to make more money. But I'm simultaneously afraid of overworking myself, but I guess if I play my cards right the extra work time can eventually give me free time. But then I'll be older.. lol, what a world.

@genxx2724 Год назад

Watch Jordan Peterson’s video on the difference between happiness and pleasure. Serotonin is good. Dopamine is not. Which are you actually stimulating?

@joaquin67 Год назад

@@genxx2724 Funny you mentioned Jordan Peterson, he's the one I referenced in my comment. By moving up in the social hierarchy, serotonin levels increase. That's when I realized it's not such a bad thing to self improve and move up a bit. At one point in life, I was actually my happiest when everything seemed to be going well (and I wasn't even that high in the social hierarchy, I had just moved up some in terms of finances, career, physical body, appearance, education, etc.). I'm definitely stimulating dopamine in an unproductive way. That's something I'm working to improve on.

@genxx2724 Год назад

@@joaquin67 You didn’t “reference” Jordan Peterson. Reference, or referring to, means citing and giving credit to the person who came up with the idea.

@joaquin67 Год назад

@@genxx2724 okay...

@danieb4273 Год назад

Um Kathleen, I think you've misinterpreted this. You are absolutely not allowed to keep money That's not yours. And yes that is shameful. If you handed it back to your mother and your mother said keep it That's a whole different narrative.... you were trying to keep money that wasn't yours essentially stealing it.

@aaishahazam4051 Год назад

kathleen from 50 years ago had some misdirected feelings, she’s just explaining how she felt her punishment as a kid

@kido2577 Год назад

Umm danie, you realize everyone was a kid once, right?

@flourish_ol Год назад

Fantastic Videos always from Big think, i've never really expressed my gratitude for your videos-they are inspirining, and as as a teen, i get better lectures from here that always place me at least one step ahead from what life has to offer. By the way tho, how do you guys gather these very brilliant minds?

@goldenplayer4966 Год назад

My father is a penny-pincher for his family but for him he spends as much as he wants. My mother is the opposite, decades of taking care of kids and not being able to provide their wishes made her really bad with finances, she doesn't save a coin. When she was young, she had to work to but clothes because my grandparents would only provide food and shelter. I spent a lot of money with things I think I need specially if they are going to last very long, but when it comes to clothes, self care and food and I'm really cheap, because I do not believe those things are worth their value, I'm playing to save enough to live of it because I hate working.

@penguingobrrbrr353 Год назад

being cheap about food is actually going to kill you down the line :). Better eat high quality food and waste a bit more money than saving it and losing it once day because you made a mistake of not eating and taking care of yourself with high quality food.

@genxx2724 Год назад

@@penguingobrrbrr353 It’s not a waste, it’s an investment. If you eat poorly, you will ruin your health. You will spend money on medical treatment trying in vain to regain it. How much is the Medicare prescription drug doughnut hole? Wouldn’t you like not to have to concern yourself with it when you’re elderly?

@penguingobrrbrr353 Год назад

@@genxx2724 thats what I said it is an investment :) i didnt say eat poorly and not exercising. Yes, medical bills and bills and anything doesnt matter where you live is expensive Here where I live a normal 'doctor' inspection to check your 'Entire body' for problems is around 200-300euro meanwhile the average salary is around 700 euro which is dog expensive and thank god i dont need these things i am healthy and I hope i die healthy once i get old.

@empty_bliss1877 Год назад

I remember my younger brother would charge my parents interest if they borrowed money from him and my dad would say wow that's a smart idea son and would pay him back but my mom would get so angry about the idea of having to pay him back no matter what the amount is. She basically guilts all of us into giving her money and we don't even know where the money goes.

@libelulangel Год назад

I think it’s fairly ok to give your parents money without expecting them to pay you back if you can afford it and if it’s reasonable amounts

@blackaugust2035 Год назад

@@libelulangel and that's called robbery

@joelyazell7380 Год назад

There are no healthy attitudes with money. Money cuts the guts of all feelings. Takes the place of your good feelings,because greed has none. Money is something worthless soul sells it for. You can think whatever you want about it,but don’t let it think for you.

@artaizen1613 Год назад

my parents always says kids should not worry or think about money until suddenly they bombshelled me with "we are not rich" thanks for the explanation

@peachnecctar1658 Год назад

i definitely have money anxiety. i make 6 figures a year but its been instilled in me as a kid that money can go in the bat of an eye and there's always bad things that happen. its been really hard to try to get myself out of those thought patterns

@jonathanz.9675 Год назад

Well it still can, but it’s a small probability. How you spend that money improving your and other’s lives is just as valuable and totally irreplaceable as well though

@N0Xa880iUL Год назад

That's not necessarily bad. And you can still hold those beliefs while not being anxious due to them. Suppose you learn about saving money, keeping a portion aside, investing, etc. Once you start applying and make a habit there's nothing else to worry. Now if you still worry then you are afraid of losing everything you have in a freak incident. You need to let go of control, beyond what you've done to counter it. Forget about the outcome, because you've done all that you can. Also it's not wrong that parents instilled that into you. Instead think what if you had not known the risks and didn't prepare either? Obviously worse right

@N0Xa880iUL Год назад

@Michael Howington No money and no anxiety is statistically almost impossible anyway.

@elijahhernandez906 Год назад

@@N0Xa880iUL youre right, money does buy basic needs such as security, food, shelter, however its really easy to get sidetracked & go on a spending spree. (Been there done that) :)

@dmgranger90 Год назад

It amazes me how this video was less about overcoming your fear of losing your money or healing your wounds and more about trusting the Wall Street investor with your life savings. That information given to the viewer regarding that scenario, is incredibly wrong and actually pretty disgusting. Go sell some fucking Herbalife if you're trying to convince people to part with their money. While this is an incredible topic that could help millions of people adapt and overcome their triggers that hinder them from using their finances more wisely, I don't think I've ever seen such a bullshit example "help" and "information" coming from a video that wasn't specifically sponsored or paid for by a private sponsor. The best part was at the end, where their literally just explaining basic money math. It's not subjective and not pushing people to spend anything. 🤦‍♂️

@englishwithmuzammal3596 Год назад

To children, money is nothing but a source of buying eatables, which leads to possessing things as they grow older. Nowadays, children are very smart and they are aware of the value of money no matter how hard you try not to make them have knowledge of currency. When I tried not to expose my children to money, I used to buy them things without giving them any money at all, and for school, they would have things to eat rather than buying them by themselves. While with my second son, I familiarised him with money sooner, and now he demands money more than the former. It is up to the parents how they want to bring up their offspring. The environment does matter too...

@daveangeloobico7456 Год назад

That's fine but don't let him get trauma from it as you teaches him to learn from his mistakes.

@englishwithmuzammal3596 Год назад

@@daveangeloobico7456 Learning from mistakes is not trauma -- the way of life to teach something...

@cleorikki2145 Год назад

I feel like I grew up watching my mom care so much about money. Even though we were pretty well off most of the time and lived comfortable lives, she’d always fantasize out loud about winning a the lottery or becoming a millionaire some other way and buying all the things she ever wanted. I think this fucked me up to be completely honest. All I want to do is pursue a career in the entertainment business (music, movies, poetry, animation) but I’ve been stuck on the idea for years and years (I’m 19 and graduated at 17) taking general courses in college because I’m not brave enough to do something that might leave me with less than an optimal amount of money. Fucking sucks how your parents can wire your brain and I stay up at night wondering what could’ve been if just a few things had been tweaked differently- if I had known from a young age I could follow whatever dream I had regardless of what other think, regardless of money.

@ObservingBlue5943 Год назад

"Paychecks are the chain that keep you from achieving your dream." I just wish I could implement that in my life!

@toonnaobi-okoye2949 Год назад

That's just hustle propaganda.

@blaisetelfer8499 Год назад

It doesn't make any sense. Paychecks are how you're compensated for your work; without being paid you won't have enough money to chase your dream.

@ObservingBlue5943 Год назад

@Blaise, I would disagree. When people get continuous paychecks they just live their life with the paychecks only. Not many people would leave their paychecks and start working on their dreams. And most of the time you can't realise your dreams with the paychecks.

@msigurko Год назад

This needs to be taught to everyone planning on bringing kids to this world.

@Bunny-ch2ul Год назад

There's A LOT that needs to be taught to everyone planning on having kids. I'm always disgusted that people don't plan better all around. Like, you had nine months to read up on developmental psychology, make an investment plan, discuss parenting strategies, talk about how you'd take care of a kid with potential disabilities, etc. and you just wasted that time decorating a nursery and having baby showers. Parents who say, "my parents did that, and I turned out fine" are *UNIVERSALLY* bad parents. If you're not going to strive to do better than your parents did, don't bother having kids. Unless you're running a Fortune 500 company, creatively fulfilled, able to travel as much as you like, extremely well rounded, have nothing but excellent, healthy relationships, and have exactly the work/life balance you want, there's room for improvement. No one is expecting perfection, but for god's sakes, do some research, plan, and always strive for better. Ten years of working with kids made me really love kids, and just hate parents. There are so many resources now, and unlike thirty years ago, there's a pretty good consensus on what's correct, developmentally appropriate, healthy, etc. Not availing yourself to them is just plain lazy and ignorant.

@PabbyPabbles Год назад

There were those austerity measures in Greece a few years ago that suddenly put an unreasonable squeeze on people's bank accounts with tiny maximum withdrawals per day... This probably created a few hundred thousand new Grandpa Klontz-es, and as far as I'm concerned, they'd be right

@svenpb1996 Год назад

Everytime I've been in an interview I explain how the salary their offering doesn't interest me, and that after a few months I'm going to be asking for a wage increase

@CryptoAlex89 Год назад

If I would have picked up on my parents' financial decisions as a kid I would be bankrupt now lol.

@biz7764 Год назад

Those children starving in Africa just need to watch this video. Problem solved!

@kenr6995 Год назад

If u grew up and your parents weren't financial literate there it is which is y most people that become successful have there parents depend on them for a house etc

@hummingpylon Год назад

Money = power. At least in lower layers of society. Poor people = poor mentality = poor people.

@XxLiveLaughToasterBathxX 4 месяца назад

I’m watching this because I have so much anxiety about money even though I make 100k+\year, have 5 figures in the bank at all times, no debt at all and STILL feel like I have to scrimp and save every dime….I grew up poor . My stomach is in knots if I have to take time off work. Doing taxes is a nightmare because I have to calculate how much I actually spent vs earned. FML

@MontyQueues 4 месяца назад

logically someone who makes money should have less concern than someone who makes no money, or has any education or potential etc... which is interesting... as a poor person myself

@juanpablodelamora5667 Год назад

Great video! Thank you for all this helpful, insightful information. I was wondering if there are books that these experts, or you, recommend to further explore these concepts. Thank you again!

@carolynwhite9975 2 месяца назад

As for Kathleen, it's a pass and no for taking any financial advice from her. It's clear even now she doesn't see that it was wrong to keep the change because it did not belong to her.

@DenzCasuela Год назад

Im not afraid of money, I just hate it.

@Daydreamerr13 Год назад

All this video taught me is get more money , period. That’s all it boils down to.

@SweetlyDarkArt Год назад

I was always told we can't afford "that" to the point I never asked for help or anything. I was told to never ask and the only person that will get me xyz is me. So I knew not to eat so much or ask for anything because we never had enough, especially when I had 6 younger siblings. I still believe I never have enough and can't shake that. Not enough food, not enough money, ect.

@jordanb.4514 Год назад

0:15 WHY. IS. THIS. ART. STYLE. A. THING.

@alexanderbaca7352 Год назад

This doesn't take into account systemic financial systems of inequality, that not only reinforces financial hardship, but also represents a boundary that exists intentionally. This video assumes that financial security is born purely of financial literacy or personal failure, the truth is that monetary systems exist as method of control and the equity of that control has never been more divided. Conservative mythology about financial social mobility is grounded in glorifying exceptions.

@kcx2678 Месяц назад

My parents never bought me anything good as a child. I remember eating rice with plain sugar, plain salt, or sardines (very seldom). I was so happy when I could have sardines. It was like I won a jackpot. They never bought me toys and books. My cousin lent me his toys and I would silently cry whenever he had to leave our town with his parents, along with his many modern and new toys (they only visited during summer). My school’s library (which had limited secondhand books) became my heaven. Everything was a scarcity. No one taught me about money. I felt alone. My parents neglected me and even abused me. So when I grew up, it felt like everything was scarce. When I have a paycheck, it feels like I need to buy immediately what I needed and wanted or else I won’t have any. I need it NOW. NOW. Really now. I’m still trying to correct my money psychology. Late 30s but I feel stuck. I feel overwhelmed. Lord help me.

@maxd3028 Год назад

The rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer.. perfectly explained!💯👏

@GothBatty Год назад

The poor keep themselves poor and the rich know how to not become poor again. ❤

@AlienGuru33 Год назад

money is a tool to control humanity. If you have crypto mining you have money everyday for the rest of your life.

@greentea_ Год назад

@@GothBatty it is also true that it’s easier to maintain wealth when you start out rich (favorable rates, better loan packages, access to exclusive investments) than when you are poorer (need to build wealth from scratch, loans are disproportionate, less starting capital for business)

@wilsonb82 Год назад

@@AlienGuru33 hahah cryptoscam

@mycodingchannel9690 Год назад

@@GothBatty ok Reagan

@disarchitected Год назад

I noticed ppl who like ‘rich dad poor dad’ have some sort of money trauma in their formative years.

@vanessacaltabiano9775 Год назад

Parents always ways broke. Constantly moving. Unemployment, recessions. Images of parents smashing open my ceramic piggy bank for few coins inside ❤️

@Jay_Bee1 Год назад

Theres something missing, why do people from poor upbringing who become rich spend it in the most ostentatious ways (not all but many), which is known as the rapper syndrome, it’s not only about showing off, there’s some reverse psychology to that

@jaydef6497 Год назад

I’m genuinely weary to watch this channel, and this video the most of all. Experts, like Bill Nye, sure fine, but I really hope your calling bill Clinton an expert as a joke , his whole expertise is making the world a worst place. I am money traumatized. And I am already more than fucked financially, I am dumb and poor and willing to throw myself in the ocean so I don’t burden my family with funeral charges. Poverty is a trap that we must suffer in for the rich to be rich. Unless this video is class conscious, and acknowledges that bill gates wants me to die broke, I can’t take it seriously. I’m lucky that my poverty is Canadian, if it wasn’t, I would already be dead. So I must resent the countries that feels burdened by the poor.

@LeandroVelez7 Год назад

This sounds like some Capitalist propaganda

@tammyleung7578 Год назад

Stop inventing problems. Stop blaming childhood. The problems are here and now - inflation, overconsumption, low wages, market volatility etc.

@nocapnobs7845 Год назад

My mother always said 'every day is not EID' one of the most destructive mantras in my life. To this day, money is illusive and anyone who sees me sees a poor guy. Why would you literally put a mantra like that in your children's lives is beyond me.

@damxn7303 Год назад

My mom would always tell me money didn’t matter. So we grew up poor ( but happy) I always had food on the table and everything. But as I got older I felt guilty to have money. I make a teachers salary as a counselor. I got into day trading, and make 250k off a 3k investment. (Option trading). I felt SO guilty to have this money. I subconsciously lost it all. And felt better… Im trying to reprogram my subconscious to be ok with having money ….it sounds stupid but it’s hard

@RustyShakleford1 Год назад

You don't just lose 250k what'd you spend it on?

@damxn7303 Год назад

@@RustyShakleford1 lol option calls on a few bad plays

@BL00DeMoN Год назад

3:30 I think she is crazy or something, she stole money from her mother and instead of feeling bed for stealing she felt bed for loving coins or what ever X'D

@JoslynShakur-e3p 6 месяцев назад

My money trauma comes from nursing centers payments. I don't like it not one bit. Its more like a money down fall. I can't see how they can pull off getting all except 50dollars of my earned income

@fedea5777 Год назад

The first and most valuable lesson about money is not about money, it's about time: You invest time to make money. Your lifetime is finite, so aside material wellnes and confort, You should be very carefull about how You manage the only non refundable item in your lifestore