Midlife Blossoms is for women Growing Older Alone - Together (GOAT!). I'm Laurie Pawlik; my degrees are in Psychology, Education, and Social Work. I wrote Growing Forward When You Can’t Go Back, started the “Midlife Blossoms” and “She Blossoms” blogs and RU-vid channel, and have been published in magazines such as Woman’s Day, Reader’s Digest, Women’s Health, and More.
That was my sisters last message on what’s app but she deleted it but I’d already saw the message 😢 she said I think it’s best that you stay out of my life after I should concern 🙁 for her new relationship after she moved on too quickly from a bereavement. I just said make sure it’s for real before jumping in. 😢
So I’m a kid on my mums account and my dog was really hard to look after Because she was a female dog and my mum didn’t have enough money to spade her and she was a cockapoo so her hair grew very fast and my mum would always have to groom her and it would cost forty pounds each time my mum didn’t have enough time to walk her so we decided to send her to a nice family but we can get another dog when I go to secondary school🥹🥹
Yesterday my husband and I rehomed our 3 months old lurcher, a lovely boy that was with us for a month. It was too much for us and I was scared of him (he wasn’t aggressive, I was just very anxious around him). We met his new parents and they are lovely, they even sent pics of him in his new home. I can’t stop crying because I feel guilty and I miss him. I feel that I should have tried better. I hated seeing him with other people and I can’t stop thinking of him. I don’t even know if I will feel better someday
I separated from my husband back in February of this year. I watched your video several times and didn’t think I could ever be without my husband. I did a lot of crying and felt so alone. I didn’t want to be alone. But here I am in September and I survived. I like being alone. At this point in my life I really don’t want to get involved with another man. It may happen someday but just not now. I am enjoying being on my own. Thank you for all the wonderful advice and your pearls of wisdom. ❤❤❤
Hi my friend, I'm happy for you about Ruby. She was a good vehicle during the time of your journey. You took your viewers along with you which was a real treat! I miss you. If you get this message, please let me know what days you make your videos so that I won't miss any. Take care lovely. Gloria 😊
A beating heart deserves to beat as long as it wants it. Don't kill "man's best friend" as it's like stabbing them in the back with a death needle. The reason why we feel guilt for stopping a heart and ending a life is because it is a moral issue... a moral conflict and our conscience is aware we are betraying that part of us that says "this is wrong". Don't betray yourselves and your pet because you think you can read a pets mind and what they want. When they are looking into your eyes they are longing to be close and have company and love and comfort. That is what love is... witnessing and being with others. Not taking lives. Death is natural as natural as birth. If they made it into the world they will be able to make it out, as you will do the same someday.
Thank you for this. I have to put my precious baby down tomorrow morning and came out here to find something to ease the pain in my heart. This helped.😢
New subscriber I am going through a separation, pending divorce after 42 years of marriage, thanks for sharing your tips. I am planning on retiring in the next year so a lot of changes. Looking forward to more videos.
Ive no touch with my sister. No desire to, she is evil. My dad also has Parkinson's and she couldn't care less. Im now convincing my parents to change their will so that she has nothing and they are finally agreeing. My sister never sees them either or cares about any family well being.
Thank you for sharing about your journey and perspective. I still have hope that I'll have healthy children one day, with the right partner, but also grieving the very real possibility it won't happen at this point due to my age and where I'm at in life (and the fact that I'm in the position at all where I feel the intense pressure of the biological clock). It's incredibly helpful to hear from other women who've found peace at the end of the road.
My best friend had just gotten killed in gang violence before I got my Queris. She was so sweet with people and loved to try to make me feel better when the nights I would wake up screaming from nightmares and crying to sleep. I love this dog. Unfortunately, it looks like I will have to move from my place, and I will not be able to take her with me. It absolutely breaks my heart that I can’t help her like she has helped me so much over the past 6 years. I will never stop beating myself up over it. I feel like I’m betraying her. She became my only friend after my best friend died, I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I get rid of her or what will keep me getting out of bed in the morning. She got my life back on track in the darkest of moments.
I am searching for pet grief videos because what happened to me was weird and this video really helped me. l was walking with a friend to his house which was really far, in the process l petted this stray dog which was really dirty; but very, very kind. Because of this one affectionate action that I gave him, he started to follow us; every kilometer or so we would stop to pet it and we must have walked for over ten kilometers, when he sadly took a wrong turn and got hit very violently by a car. He must not have suffered for more than ten seconds, l say to myself. l barely even know this dog, l tell myself. lt is unimaginable how many dogs die this way every year, l tell myself... and yet, l still feel sadness and guilt and shame for simultaneously being responsible for this dog's death and for inadvertantly putting my poor friend into this horrible situation. l will honour this dog by not stopping to pet strays (as at first l though I should do), but instead I will remember this dog for the rest of my life by actively being more mindful of my actions and by realising that, yes, l am not entirely to blame; but next time if a stray dog is following me for too long and l know that I can't keep it safe... I'll call a friend to pick us, both me and the dog, up and I'd put him back where I found it. This has happened less than a day ago, because of how raw this wound is, my brain is probably worried that l'll feel this way forever, but l'll be okay soon and l will keep petting strays.
I found this video via a article. I’m rehoming my dog tomorrow after having her for 10.5 years. I feel so guilty and I’ve been crying for days now. I’m crippled with anxiety and I feel worthless. But your letter helped me and I really hope I’ll feel less guilty in the future. She will have 2 sisters, a loving home and much more than I can give her right now. It’s just very hard to let go.
What I’m having difficulty in understanding is why didn’t you take on these new activities while with your husband. There are different stages in life and marriage. It takes time to settle at these different stages and development of your relationship. For example newly married you might be very romantic and excited with your new life but you hit a road block, it can become boring, too comfy and guess what children or maybe pets come along, very exciting, shared interests and then it becomes stressful and very busy as careers and family life grow. Then you get older, a bit more settled and the kids leave home and you are looking at each other saying where is the young exciting person I fell in love with, well they are still there but different. Take time to find them and yourself, new joint interests, new friends, travel, move home, new adventures. It’s before this last stage that it can go so wrong, the restlessness kicks in and conversations don’t happen and maybe it’s easier to go I love you but I don’t want to be with you and maybe you start separate lives, and it can be too late to rekindle what you have just lost. I do speak from experience as my husband did exactly what you have done and I was having none of it and I kept working on our marriage and supported him in his crisis and we started that very old fashion thing called courting. We found ourselves very much still in love and enjoying our life together but with a much deeper respect and love for each other. Sadly he died over a year ago and I would do anything to have our time again, it’s very lonely not having your best friend and love beside you. So, don’t be so quick to separate from your love, time is short.
what did you DO to WORK on your marriage and KEEP him there with you? Did you seek counseling, read books, confide in a friend, or wing it, what exactly did you do to make things work out for you and how long did that take? What did you experience when you were creating ways to keep him with you? Did you get on your knees every day before, after, or ever? Did you go to a religious leader to get help? Your words are inspiring, but there are way too many holes. How can you help someone who wants to accomplish what you did? Curious minds would like to know.
Living with your husband who constantly caused stress and anxiety you became depressed in the form that no one can see even yourself. That explained why you couldn't think outside the box to do things that seem so simple but you coukdn't find the energy to do it because there was nothing joyful to you at the time. People weren't in the shoes of being controled and abused wouldn't understand the tremendous stress . You just have keep going for your kids but dying inside so you keep telling yourself to try one day at a time and burry yourself in the responsibilities of being the mother and wife. An unhappy marriage brought so much to your mental health. Now that I am single and completely free from troubles I am back to working out at the gym that I used to do in my 20s but stopped all of it since I got married for 17 years. I feel better and more productive at work. I connected better with my children because I have no one make me unhappy. I can sleep better and stay on strict diet to loose the weight. I am fit in size 2 clothes and I feel young and confident again. To alot of people, divorce is loosing the troubles and gaining your life back.
I had to rehome two of my Bostons Terries due to dog fights and my older ones getting hurt. It been three weeks and I’m still devastated. I rehome through a Boston rescue and I’ve been sent pics and updates. I miss them and still feel lost but I know they are doing better and are adjusting greatly!!
My dog had 5 of these 6 signs. (He werent snappy towards people) He was suffering from kidney failure. We put him through the procedure to help him recover but he came out of hospital looking much worst despite blood levels improving. Screaming and suffering. I took him to be put to sleep last night and my heart is broken. 😢
I had to put my boy down too. It's one of the hardest things I have done. I miss him and loved him so much. I miss my little shadow. I pray your heart heals.... sorry for your loss.
I am grieving rehoming my little girl cat of 2 years. I think it's the best decision, but my heart is so hurting. Every time I pass her room, and every morning routine, every afternoon routine, and every bed time routine, is broken, and I feel such a big void in my heart. I am a strong person but rehoming this little animal feels like giving a baby girl away. She is like my little animal child and as a mother I can't imagine how terrifying she is right now, being caged away at the Humane Society. We found her a good new human parent but this time is so, so, so difficult. I knew she loved and trusted me 1000% and here I am, away from her. I feel like I've made the wrong decision, and I miss my little girl. Rehoming a cat is more difficult than anyone has talked about, or anyone could imagine, or I could have imagined. Hugs to everyone who has had to rehome their furry baby, true friend, loyal companion. God have mercy on all of us.
Ok I have to chime in here. Being the oldest sister of three, it has been heartbreaking to me to see my two younger sisters floating away on me. I get the blame for what our parents did. My parents can do no long as far as they are concerned. They are both deceased now but my sisters still want to hold our parents up on a pedestal, despite all the dysfunction in our family. Being the oldest daughter, I got the brunt of it. My middle sister got some of it too but the youngest one was not as rebellious as me and the middle one and she got the best part of it. So that is the way it is. Thanks for this advice. I guess I have been giving them their space all summer to be apart from me. I am lucky if I get to see them once a month. I have no vehicle to get around to see them and that makes it even worse. And I am the poor one too so I get shade for that. Or silence...it seems like once they both had their menopause, a big light went on in their heads and they just aren't interested in me anymore.
The message of the gospel is very similar to this the veil, the dust, the armor of God. Except there is hope at the end. Hope and peace in the suffering of the mundane.
But how is this enough? How is just simply living because you are here and the world is shit and no one cares and nothing matters. How does that have enough sustenance to carry you?
Thank you for your words, this is what I needed to hear as I am 4 days away from moving from the USA to Sweden. I have never even moved out of my state. This is big for me. Thank you for the reminder of why I’m doing this!
OMG! I guess it is something tondo with us being the same age, but I just said the, "one bite at a time," to someone this morning! 😂😂 Your living my dream!
My parents got divorced and my dad and I didnt have enough hands on deck to look after our two new Dachsunds. They needed way more attention than we could provide and he made the decision and I wanted to support him. Thank you for the video. It is a uniquely strange experience because it is a decision born out of care, but you cant help but feel terrible, like you let them down. Banksy and Lola, I will miss you so much and I hope you remember us fondly. I love you both
I had to give away my sweet baby a couple days ago. Out of no where he started attacking me, which completely destroyed my comfort being near him. I knew I couldn’t have him around anymore. What kind of life would he have while I need to keep my distance from him. He was always the sweetest baby… my heart is broken and I am grieving so deeply. I am missing him every moment of the day. I miss who he was a couple weeks ago. I wish this never happened. This video makes me cry, because my baby’s name was Georgie too.
Look what you have to say, and after 2+ years with my daughter and the generational estrangements, I have come to accept many of the things you have said. I have my moments, and acceptance has not been easy, but in the end, much more freeing. I come to a much more positive experience of myself and the estranged people in my life. Thank you for sharing this, it is one of the best RU-vids I have watched on this subject.
My dog died a week and a half ago. He was only 9. I feel tremendous guilt as he was unwell and not himself on the Friday which with hindsight I see so clearly now. I went out to a concert with my mum thinking he would be fine. I did bring him to the out of hours ED that night and what followed was a horrendous 2.5wks of vet hospital admission, ups and downs and an eventual heart attack when he passed away (he had a flare up of his IBD and was diagnosed with PLE which seemed to be aggressive). I always think every experience we have in life is trying to teach us a lesson. I think the lesson in this for me is to not take the people and animals I love most in life for granted. I always assumed my darling boy would be with me until he was at least 12. I took him for granted and was not in tune with him and his needs and was often selfish. It’s been the hardest lesson of my life to learn but I know I will be a better dog parent moving forward to any dogs who will hopefully come into my life in the future.
My 13+ year old Golden Retreiver is 3 out of 6. The pain meds. aren't cutting it and she can barely get around anymore. Poor thing falls over when she squats to pee 50% of the time. My husband and I have to lift her off the floor all the time and she weighs 90 lbs. According to the age chart for her breed she is now over 85. I hate to lose her, but I fear she will die at the side of my bed while sleeping at night. I think it's time and I don't want to feel the horrible guilt I felt the last time I put a pet down. This time though I feel the decision is being made for us and she doesn't have much of a life at all anymore. It's getting near fall time here and I don't see her making it though another winter in a million years. I'm just here preparing my mind for what will come whether I do anything about it or not. She has a vet appointment in two weeks.
I really needed to see this. I’ve been struggling with my brothers estrangement for the last two years, and I was at my wits end. Thank you for this ❤️
im thisclose to giving my dog up. it's becoming more than i can responsibly handle trying to take care of Ebike and run a new business. not sure, but im close. /Bklyn👑
I cannot express how much satisfaction I got after watching this video of yours. We had to rehome our 3-month-old lab. He was only with us for one week, but that one week was beautiful. I cannot imagine people rehoming their pets after months and years. This one week was filled with beautiful moments and lots of cuddles. I cannot handle this. I don't know if I would have been able to handle it if he had been with us for a longer time. My husband and I cried our hearts out, and it aches. But I hope my Whiskey is happy in his new home and that he gets the best life he deserves. I love him so, so, so much! This was the best decision for us and for him!
When someone says you feel it is often gaslighting. The truth is I am xxx no i feel xxxx and it is indeed a totally fine thing . Next time please don’t use the word feel because I v seen a lot this from ppl use it for gaslighting others truth ❤
