I'm starting T within the month and share your feelings of using the men's room. At some point I know I'll have to but I feel quite nervous about it. I know it'll eventually feel totally normal, but it's how I feel right now.
i just hit 2 years on T in march and was so grateful for your videos when i started. grateful to hear how you're doing & how you're processing the last few years. i feel myself settling in at 2 years as well, and grateful for it. i wish i would've heard more people talk about that in the beginning- that it takes what feels like forever to feel settled.
Thanks for reiterating this. Good to be reminded of this, and it's lovely to hear how connected to your emotions you feel. Not remembering being connected to your body is really resonant for me. So much has changed and happened for me this past few months, alongside seeing counselling clients make big changes too. It's interesting to hear how you're feeling more in touch with a more expansive sexuality. I have a sense that I'll feel more in touch with my sexuality myself. I've made my first gender appointment for the end of July. Change in yourself is exciting and change in others too. For me, I couldn't maintain a romantic relationship with someone who didn't change or grow often, because there's too much to absorb in life and too much to do not to be so affected. I'm not even sure I maintain friendships well witj those who try to stay in one place. I do wish for some things to be consistent though, like getting and staying on T, or having a home that's mine. But if I were a vampire I feel like I'd enjoy living for a long, long time. Inspiring video. Keep being you Jonah! Frankie 😊
Jonah, you look so beautiful and handsome. It's so lovely to hear how happy you are and how this is also leading to open heartedness for you among other things. I've been thinking a lot about change and loss and growth and fear in relation to hormones. Thank you for reminding us these things are essential - sometimes it's easy to forget.
I love your perspective and the way you talk about it. I'm questioning but currently nonbinary or something like that. I really appreciate your nature about these things.
Hi Jonah. Your channel was in my suggestions. Im 14months on T. Im not passing, which frustrates me cos I want to pass. I really want top surgery, and I want my voice deeper, but I really dont sound like a dude sigh. I need my name changed. Its changed at work but not legally which leaves all the legal stuff with my dead name, that staff can see. Love the typewriter in the background. Im a vintage collector. Im in my 50s man, I would have loved to have known about transitioning when I was younger but with parents like mine, there's no way I could have done this. Keep on being you.
This is an article I love that a friend shared with me recently: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/arts-and-health/201812/expressive-therapies-continuum-three-part-healing-harmony Are you familiar with CAConrad? They do a lot of work with somatics and embodiment in their poetry, and they're such an incredible writer. This is an intro to the rituals they do: somaticpoetryexercises.blogspot.com/2018/08/somatic-poetry-rituals-basics-in-3-parts.html A book of theirs that I particularly like is WHILE STANDING IN LINE FOR DEATH, though really all of their work is amazing.
You mentioned Illinois, are you in Chicago? I ask because I was born and raised there, but I live in NY and don't know what it's like to be trans in Chicago. H Melt's poems are great, though. Anyways, you look great! So happy for you.
@@jonahradeke . whatever helps you cope. notice how there are more M to F transitions than F to M in the world. that's just biology and evolution. because passing genes as a man is very difficult. historically 94 % men never passed their genes. only top 6 % chads and 100 % women pass their genes. only top 6% men and women truly live. the rest of the men just survive as a shell of a human being. its soo over.
It is very hard to pretend all the time..i think that is what causes the social anxiety. You were trying so hard not to show yourself lest you be judged or unaccepted..i have the same problem in church since i dont believe many of the things my church stands for.. This causes social anxiety for me... i am glad you are being true to yourself..free at last .
Many thanks Jonah , this is a wonderful presentation of Claire Weekes excellent and pioneering approach for nervous suffering / anxiety and a very helpful reminder of her teaching and approach . I found your explanation of her own suffering very sad yet inspiring because she really knew how terrifying it really is and with talking with the poor traumatized soldier gained a better understanding of the fear of fear and how this will only keep this cycle to continue ,on and on and on,untill you are afraid of anything and everything ,a living Hell .Thankyou again for this great reminder of her great great work . I wish you and anyone who may be suffering well ,and that we all remember her wise words and that recovery is possible for all of us .❤
I was SO HAPPY FOR YOU when you said that you've not only come to terms with, but now love your body hair! I've seen every single one of your videos (within the last two days, though) and this was really on my mind. So good!
I bought a digital version of Claire Weekes book "Complete self help for your nerves" on Google play books and it was one of the key tools that helped me to recover from severe anxiety and anxiety attacks, basically all of good anxiety recovery courses you will find here on youtube and other places online are based on Claire Weekes' books. Its all about stopping being afraid of anxiety, if you are afraid of feeling anxious or having a panic attack then you are basically stuck in a negative feedback loop of being anxious about feeling anxious, you basically cause your own anxiety because your scared of feeling anxious, realising that is the key to breaking out of it permanently, knowing that fact it isn't like some magic overnight cure it takes time for it to really sink into your subconscious mind, but it's the key and where you must start.
I just made a pros and cons list today! I agree, it's already been helpful. I have a lot of the same worries that you had so it's quite nice to see how happy you seem with yourself now after being on T for a while
I’ve been on t for almost one year now.. my voice still hasn’t changed. I still sound like I did one year ago. I’m on 4 pumps… does anyone experience the same thing?? I’m just so incredibly frustrated and feel very alone with it
I'm pretty dysphoric about my high voice and i wouldn't mind a little mustache, so I've been considering bringing up micro dosing t with my doctor, but I'm kinda worried about the other changes, for me i don't really want more body hair or a more masculine body fat distribution... definitely something for the future as I'm still living with my family and i don't know if they'd be supportive if i came out, but they usually respect my autonomy as an adult
just found your videos and my god your voice is so nice to listen to, and your words are very articulate! not sure if thats strange to say. i hope to sound this good when i medically transition eventually
do the changes to at some point? or is it like transitioning to a man but very slow? how does one stop there they feel good in the gender spectrum and stay there?
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking, but when I was on low dose, changes happened at a slower rate. No matter the point someone is at in their transition, if they were to go off hormones, some changes would reverse and some wouldn't.
@jonahradeke hi there, thanks for the answer! I think I lost a word there - "Do the change STOP at some point" was my intention. Im simply wondering if there is a way to stay at a certain non binary level of testo. What if im perfectly content after let's say 6 month of low dose testo - if I keep taking testo the changes will progressively slowly increase - if I stop taking testo I will lose some of the changes. Is there a way to "freeze" the process? hope it is more clear now what im trying to say.
I think I see what you're asking. There's not really a way to "freeze" everything, but the changes that are permanent (voice, bottom growth, body hair, etc.) will stop where they are if you stop T. So in that way, a few things would freeze, but most other changes would reverse.
Thanks Jonah ,you have presented Dr Claire Weekes work very well . I suffer with general anxiety disorder and this for me is the approach that works . Acceptance of all symptoms is the only way ,not distraction or trying to suppress them .Fear of anxiety ,or the fear of fear is what keeps us stuck in this dreadful and paralyzing state . Dr Weekes knows and understands all about anxiety so well because of her own experience with it . Thanks again for such a gentle and clear explanation and best wishes to anyone who is having a difficult time with anxiety .
Moust of the symphtoms are subsided to this time, even some times if i get a brush of anxiety its a litlle and i don't care about it so much. Interesting thing that was present thry whole this anxiety jurney is still there. That is inthrusive thouts that i wasted my life, its there in the mornings but as day go by it is less.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. You expressed all of the same types of things I felt when I changed my name earlier this year. It’s so comforting to hear someone else put it into words so eloquently. Glad I found my way to your channel. 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! How you were hesitant about changing your name and starting testosterone really resembles what I am currently going through... Also, as an agender person with GAD who hasn't started using testosterone, I feel the discomfort over the incongruence between how I see myself and how others perceive me socially as well. This video is really helpful for me to figure out how I am feeling about things and how I should decide what I will do in the future. Btw your name choice is great!
Thanks for sharing this and being open about your experience. I've also been a singer my whole life and i have stopped because of dysphoria. Going to start T at the end of the month. It's validating to see another person making a pros and cons list and being back and forth with your thought process beforehand. Hope you're well❤
Yeah, I would say so! Recovery to me is not being overwhelmed by fear. I still feel anxious sometimes (a human thing to feel), but I'm able to move through it with a clear head now.
As always thank you so so much for sharing your story and your insights, genuinely helps me so much and it’s been wonderful to see! Also that is a fantastic name, it really does suit you really well!
