Hey, I'm Shayla! A mom who likes to do things as eco friendly as we can! Think Cloth Diapering, Elimination Communication, CoSleeping, Breastfeeding on Demand, Montessori, getting outside and positive and intuitive parenting.
If you're into it please join us! I also have a podcast Hey Shayla where I interview all the gurus on these topics!
Im so excited you're having a third!! I loved having 3, currently have 4. I am now loving 4 but it was really hard at first. 3 was a breeze! Big family tips - Get a van! Just do it, don't think twice - Hyatt place for hotel travel - double queen rooms with sofa pull out and free hot breakfast - in a couple years things are going to get much easier so just go with it!
I needed to hear this! Been stuck in a rut for the past few months and it feels at times like life is not getting easier. But yes I agree, I need to make small changes and do it for myself rather than expecting someone or some thing to change it for me! Thanks for this 😊
This is so true. All this “it takes a village” propaganda; the truth is, today, most families don’t have a single person who is invested in them, and that’s sad. It also means a huge burden for whomever is the primary care giver. But once you get through the struggle, realize you have to pull on your big girl panties and dig in, life gets easier. If not actually, it gets easier mentally. My husband and I regularly give each other a knowing look and say “dig deep.” Raising little kids requires utter selflessness, supernatural patience at times and just the ability to let go of the little things, embrace life in all of its messiness. It’s so hard when all you hear is “it goes so fast”, because it does and we all know that. Stopping to enjoy my kids playing nicely, getting down on their level and playing with them, being present in their little moments: that’s where the joy is.
After our first (which was our most difficult and still is temperament wise) we became fascinated with the idea of 2 under 2 🫠. Went for it and she’s the most chill toddler now. Our oldest has this quirky, sassy and witty personality that we love but also learning to deal with 😂 I didn’t feel done at 2 so I bargained with hubby for the 3rd. Now pregnant with the 3rd, I know we are absolutely done. He’s still grappling with how we’ll handle 3, while I know we’ll be fine. It’ll be chaotic but fine! However, I know we couldn’t handle 4.
Always a joy to hear you talk ❤ Thanks for being such a positive influence on this new(ish) mom! Also…. You are such a gorgeous pregnant lady 🤰 you are glowing ✨🥰
I have four. I knew I wanted 3, possibly four and my husband really wanted four. To be honest, i was really on the fence about a fourth but knew that long term, we wanted a large family. Going from 3-4 has been the hardest transition because we are just keeping our heads above water most days. Even though it’s hard, we’re so so grateful for all our children and look forward to years of fun and travel with them. So many memories to come. I had my tubes taken out during my last csection and we’re so thrilled with everything. One thing I heard years ago about if you’re on the fence with having more or not is that you will never regret having another one. You are more likely going to regret not having another one. If you’re not sure if you’re done, you’re more than likely not done.
This! It's so good to know this so you can be easier on yourself and have realistic expectations within our society's norms. This clearer mindset can help save you a lot of stress! (Also try to build your own village/community to help each other out!)
My husband and I just moved 2.5 hours away to be closer to family who can help us weekly. It takes a village to raise kids. I do need some saving. We are not supposed to do it alone.
4 weekly meal plan of dinners only, meals that all 4 of us eat, balanced meals, simple to prepare with only 1 meal that takes longer to prepare (ie lasagne, meatballs which I make a double batch and freeze one). This has taken alot of thinking out of working out what to make each week, we just rotate through the 4 weeks worth of dinners which is a lot of variety and takes all the thinking and planning out of what we are having for dinner. Friday and Saturday nights are always oven precooked food or takeaway so it’s really only 5 days of the week I needed to come up with dinners.
Overtime I kept a list of meals that we all like and basically just put them into 4 weeks of dinners which is only 5 dinners each week as mentioned above, Fridays and Saturdays are oven precooked food or takeaway
Awesome idea! I separate everyone’s clothes out of the machine and hang them that way. So when I take them off the line, they are in each person’s pile.
It’s 2:14 am I’m holding my 4 day old daughter. I haven’t slept. I’m recovering from a c-section. My baby doesn’t want to sleep in her bed beside me: she wants cuddles. I am exhausted and heartbroken at setting her down for her to cry🥹
Those cabinet locks are the bomb diggity! After installing the first one i was like 😱🤯… that’s it. Yanked the cabinets really hard to check… AMAZING! I found them after first installing a different brand that fell off all the time. We didn’t do much baby proofing either. We used outlet plugs when she started trying to play with them. put locks on the dresser drawer & 2 kitchen cabinets. One cabinet was cleaners & the other was glass bakeware.
My second daughter is 3 months old. We always said we’d have two kids. I feel like I could go a third, and would have loved to have had a boy, but there’s a lot of factors, including finances to have a year of maternity leave again, that mean we are 95% definitely done
I’m the second oldest in a huge family. I think older siblings often have to just deal with it rather than having their own needs met. This is a great perspective 😊
Thank you so much for this! I’m 7 weeks into my first pregnancy and I know this part is down the road but it’s so helpful to know that there’s hope and it’s not just a dead end after the baby comes. Thank you 🩵
I am an identical twin (#3 & 4 in my family) my mom was 35 and twins (identical & fraternal) run in my family. She experienced terrible nausea and dry heaving throughout most of the pregnancy, and didn’t have morning sickness with my first two siblings 😅
I had 2 (3.5 and 1.5 yo). I have a boy and girl. I have some trauma from childhood and I said yes to the second when i should’ve said No….i love her to death but I’m overwhelmed with 2. I’m also still going through therapy for my tough childhood so parenting is quite triggering for me. I wanna just enjoy the kids I have and not overextend myself. I got my fallopian tubes removed after my 2nd c section and I’m sooo happy I did.❤
This was a great video! I love all the points you tackled and that you brought in the mindset piece and being honest about mental health/capacity as that’s been a huge factor for our family. I am so happy for you and excited that you chose 3! My husband was cool with 1 but we always knew we would have at least 2. I always wanted 3 but after my second pregnancy (had absolutely horrific prenatal and post partum depression) I’ve had to mourn the idea of having 3 kiddos. I grew up in a 2 kid family but really spaced apart (6 years) and I had always wished I had another sibling. Mental health wise though I don’t want to risk having a 3rd after what happened in my last pregnancy. mental health wise and the limited help we have, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I don’t have the capacity for another baby although i really wish I did. I looooooove the baby stage so much and always saw our family being bigger so it’s hard. I am loving that I am out of the pregnancy phase and able to have my body back to myself. I love that I don’t have to get a bigger car. I am loving that my youngest is now 2.5 and things are starting to become a lot easier. I’m excited to get back to full time work with the flexibility to just pull them out when I want to to have our adventures and that my kiddos are super close in age and love being together. I can pour more into them and be a more loving, present mama. Both my kiddos are big on quality time so it just allows me to prioritize that and I keep thinking that maybe one day when the kids are older that I can be that home where other kids feel safe to be there and know they are welcome. Hopefully this is how I will get the crazy “home alone” huge family feeling haha. I didn’t have a great home life so I always appreciated other families who took me in for dinner or just allowed me to get away to somewhere safe. I’m going to be that place for my kids, their cousins, and their friends. ❤
I’m pregnant with my second. Never planned to have more than 1 because I’m an only child and my husband is one of four so personally I didn’t think past the first. It wasn’t until toddlerhood with my first that I considered the possible benefits and beauty of having 2. I think im taking it baby by baby and not taking a third off the table but I do know I want to be done with my pregnancies by the time I’m 35. So we will see!!
Military wife ( never got time to build a village)and expecting 13th baby and I can honestly say I’ve lost my marbles. Imagine having 8 kids in am E.R cause one had a sever reaction to penicillin( it’s never a dull moment here) I adore being a mom so I never imagined giving up this role. Every stage has its challenges especially the teen years ( sometimes I wanna skip those years lol) but they are also amazing on their good days.
I'm in the same spot with my 3.5 year old. I am due next week and am so excited for the playing together stage....it's all I can do to get through that first year!!
We went for three because, even though it “made more sense” to stop at two, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was missing from our family. Now that he’s here, I feel like our hearts (and hands) are full. 🥰
I’m 29 pregnant with our 3rd ❤ My husband and I both want 3-4 and we ask each other at the 1st b-day how are we feeling and both times so far we both just know it’s time for another. There is a feeling of excitement and longing in the soul for another from both myself and my husband 😊 If you know you know!
I wanted to mention an idea for people with carpet that I did for my floor bed is adding decking tiles (ikea runnen) underneath the mattress to avoid bed mold. I was previously using a low profile bed frame, then the bed frame without the pegs (which was so hard to do for changing the bed sheets), then this method. Floor beds are awesome and relieving for me when it comes to babies falling off the bed
You look absolutely radiant! We have 2 beautiful boys and would love to have 3 to 4. We are similar to you in most likely staying at 3 but the door to 4 is not closed yet
I am currently pregnant with my first at only 8 weeks pregnant and I have always believed that babies don't need that much so finding this video gave me so much peace about my worries of having to buy so much stuff. Thank you for this
I'm 37, mum to 2.5 year old and pregnant with our second. Let me tell you, being older and pregnant and having a toddler is HARD. My body aches like it never has and I am so so tired. No more after this thank you!
I’m exactly the same as you in terms of age, toddler’s age and pregnant again! I feel like my body never recovered after my first pregnancy and am dreading what I’ll feel like after this one is born.
Pelvic floor exercises, ladies!! And light leg exercises (use a chair or something to help keep you stable). I wish the very best for you both and congratulations! 💖
5:58 “Just let me WALK out of the house” Good thing for subtitles because I heard, “Just get me the F*ck out of this house”. Which is equally valid somedays. 😂
I am very happy for people who do have that privilege. Took a year to conceive my daughter and currently 11 months in ttc for another. No idea if it will even happen. I had to accept in might not happen last time and conceived the same month.
struggling through postpartum right now after just having had #2 last week and this video cracked me up 😂 thanks for sharing your honest thoughts on this super important topic/decision!!!!!
I love that you’re honing in on this topic now that you’re pregnant with #3 because this is my brain every day 😅 I have a 9 month old and an almost 3 year old. I’ve always wanted 4. But now my husband and I go back and forth between just having 2 or 3. But I know we feel incomplete. I want at least one more even if I’m overwhelmed right now. I’m thinking a bigger age gap this time around to help with that. So maybe a 3.5 & 5.5 year age gap would help with that. Love reading people’s decisions and reasonings!
One thing my husband and I consider is what we want life to look like in 20, 30, 40 years. Thinking about the family gatherings, the grandbabies, the kids that grow and move away. It's hard to look ahead that far when you're in the trenches, but I think that's a factor too. We currently have 2 (3.5 and 1.5 year old boys) and are considering a 3rd... but it's everything you just talked about!
I'm pregnant with my second and wanna have 3-4, my husband wants to have one of each boy and girl. My second is also girl, we'll try for a third naturally if it's a girl again then the 4th we'll do ivf w gender selection, if third is a boy we may or may not stop, if not we'll just go team green w 4th and do it naturally since at that point we won't care about the gender.
Was pregnant this year with our 2nd but lost it at 12 weeks. And honestly a slight bit of me was feeling relieved. Had severe hyperemesis gravidarum and had multiple hospitla visits. Was even slightly considering letting it go (I'm in canada) but life chose for me. It's very sad but I'm more sad about knowing we aren't going to try for another because of how sick I was. So it's a 1 and done for us which I have huge relief from, but also I'm very upset about also. ❤
We were on the fence about having our second. He's now 15months ans oh boy we are in the thick of it. Mental health of this stahm is suffering in the stage of 3 and 1yrs old. We are stopping for sure!
I was happy with one. Then a bout 2 years later I REALY wanted another. It took another 3 yrs to convince my partner. For my second I had a home birth and instantly wanted another!! Unfortunately I think my partner would leave if we had 3 😂. We're 7 months in with 2. Although I'd love to be pregnant and give birth again, I think we are done with 2. Travel being a big factor.
