My biggest sanity saver (which only came after our 3rd child lol) is a daily, constant reminder that "I get to". "I get to talk to my middle child while I shower", "I get to draw with my oldest at the end of the day", "I get to rock my youngest even though I'm sore today". When I switched my mindset of I get to instead of I have to, I began feeling a lot more grateful instead of resentful. We arent promised tomorrow. This young kids phase isn't forever. I get to be their Mom.
❤❤❤ Love this. I’m still working on this one. But I love that. I keep reminding myself that I love this and will miss it. I try to spend a lot of time just watching my baby when I can.
I’m no expert, but I personally found a rhythm in motherhood when I planned and gave each day a ‘theme’ ex: Monday - groceries and laundry, Tuesday - my sons My Gym class and helping at our family business (with my 20 month old of course), Wednesday - cleaning day (toddler also helps!), Thursday - do whatever we want day! (Usually the farmers market, and so on. It’s given us a groove and tasks no longer feel daunting. P.S I’m so thankful for your content, I’m a huge fan!
Yes this is similar to what we do too. Groceries Mondays, Tuesdays park or home easy decluttering, playing with my 21 month old while the eldest is at school etc Walking to school with the eldest riding his bike/scooter is really enjoyable for all 3 of us, great way to start the day. You could park a bit away from the school to do it if you’re not walking distance.
Outdoors is the best solution: when it’s hard, when I am crazy etc we just go outside. Done! My oldest (mostly) can find what to do himself, youngest is either sleeping or in a carrier. So when people ask me “why do you go for a walk with both of them on your own?! It is so difficult!” - no, staying home with both of them on my own IS difficult 😄
For me, it's all the mindset. I get up at least 45 minutes before the kids do, wake myself up go over the days plans and do my affirmations..- Love on them, focus on a positive potty training day (we are potty training) we can do this. Be strict, but kind. Whatever is pertaining to our life at that moment,gets put on the affirmations list. If things are getting crazy, we have quiet time. I have quiet time. Have a hobby you can do when they are sleeping or having quiet time. It's all in the mindset❤
Waking up before the kids wake up has been a life changer. Blitz cleaning during dinner/before bath and bedtime gives me peace of mind so that once the kids are done I can immediately relax and not have another task to do. Meal planning and a laundry system (pre-sorting baskets for each type of load so that the dirty clothes are ready to be thrown in the machine and then baskets for each room the laundry needs to be sent to once its clean). I feel once you have some alone time (before wake up in the morning and evening) are on top of baisc food and food and laundry I just feel so much put together and liberated to be more free and relaxed with my child. Also NO SHAME FOR ASKING FOR HELP!!!!!!! I ask for help all the time and I READ on the topics I feel like I don't know how to tackle/do better.
The one thing that keeps me sane is an empty sink. My kitchen is smaller than average so when my sink is full of dishes I feel overwhelmed. waking up to an empty sink helps make the rest of the day just a little easier
Hunter gather parent helped me so much as well! I realized I can say no to all the activities that aren’t serving me or my child in that moment and instead listen to their actual needs. And involving them in all the taking care of our home activities which are bonding and install a sense of pride for my kiddos too. My oldest loves hanging out clothes on the clothesline and cooking together. And having a solid friend group we get to see often. Without them motherhood wouldn’t be the same.
- 1 load laundry a day & put away at night or the next day! - if your kids nap, rest while they nap! I have a 2.5 year old & a 9 month old, when they nap at 1pm I put my youngest on the carrier and sit on my recliner and journal or read or listen to a podcast. I dont nap, I still rest!!! And it helps!!!! - GET OUTSIDE! - Do your life WITH your kids instead of AROUND your kids
Full-time stay-at-home mom here and it's been a hard season. Four months postpartum with two kids 18 months apart. Was stuck inside my house during winter trying to heal from birth for 11 weeks. 😳 I feel like I need to do it all well with a positive and calm attitude and when I don't, I failed. Honestly, lots of RU-vid moms make it feel like they have it all together and you're failing on all fronts. Thank you for being a realistic, relatable mom. Now that we can get outside and I'm healed, we're doing much better. But postpartum is always rough on me mentally and then I'm mean to my beautiful family. Trying to claw my way out of that negativity.
Edit to add: I wish I could like this a million times. Bang on with the priorities and values! This last week I almost backed out of taking my kids to a rodeo because it didn't start until 7pm. We committed anyways and my kids had a BLAST (4.5 and 1.5 years old). It was totally an example of letting go of the routine and having an adventurous spirit. Such a fun memory.
My kid is 1yo now. Since the beginning, I have been leaving her buckled in the high chair after mealtimes until I clean up. My sink is empty and I feel better. She passively learns to clean up too.
Not a stay at home mom but full time working. Anyway, I feel you. I am working on staying calm and putting expectations aside. Best days are when nothing is planned and it just flows with the kids. Respect for adding a third one to your tribe. 😊 for me 2 is the maximum I can handle. My husband is doing a lot too. I’m not alone in this.
The shift work ugh. 24 hours solo with two under 3 twice a week. I highly related when you mentioned being resentful over the work except for us it’s working out. I’ve worked out three times in the last three months. I know he needs his gym time but it’s a priority for me to stay healthy, which is hard to put on the back burner. I also hate home work outs (not that I’d even be able to get it done) and also feel like if he doesn’t have to stay home and work out then why am I delegated to it? Tough stage of life.
I'm definitely the one load of laundry, keeping toys and 'stuff' minimal, for my own sanity kind of mum. Doing life together with kids is 100% on point. I've got 3 little ones, and we went to the post office this morning. It was short and sharp (planning is key!), but we did it, and my kids enjoyed it!
I have struggled with being the mom I want to be since my husband started working from home 5 years ago (which is really embarrassing to admit). I use to have structure to the day that made it really easy to stay calm and get what I needed done while also filling my kids cups. I have also added more kids and started homeschooling do I suppose I just haven't readjusted properly with all the life changes but you have inspired me to try to figure it out again.
Thank you for your videos! At the beginning I also was very negative and motherhood has been a journey for sure, but listening to your experience made me feel less alone. Now I can totally agree it's a mindset thing and I'm just working on becoming the mom I want to be.
It’s funny how some people don’t acknowledge that this fear of missing out on husband made pancakes on a Sunday morning etc. is imposed on us by social networks in the first place. My motherhood has become so much saner when I deleted Instagram app from my phone. I understand it’s not for everyone though, especially if work is involved.
Yes I have deleted all social media apps. I just access them on Safari. When I want to avoid altogether I restrict access to social media all together so I can’t access the urls at all in safari
I am very blessed to currently live about a drive ways width from my husband's very sweet grandparents and so if i ever have to run a quick errand or get somthing done and i need help with the Child and they are home i can just send her over there and they happily take her 😊
It's been a hard spring (my community in general has had a lot of illnesses, from respiratory to pink eye), so everyone has been sick.. so the last month I'm just ugh!!! I'm not even sick (knock on wood) but everyone's illnesses have me ugh!!.. ok rant over the whole seasons thing is so true
Single moms are the real mvps. Your circumstances are hard. Everyone has their own challenges and is just doing the best with what they have. Keep up the good work mama and have lots of grace, love those babies, and yes, get outside and hang with friends
So, unrelated but just really bothered and needing to share- the other day my daughter got to watch a little more screen time than usual. Typically, I let her watch two 20 minute shows while I get dressed and cleaned up breakfast. The other day her time was interrupted by visiting grandparents so I told her she could finish it after her nap. She did and then we went down to my MIL’s later for some playtime (they live next door). When I came back to pick her up, she was watching a show again with their 10 year old. When we told her it was time to go and we had to turn it off she threw the tantrum of all tantrums, so intense her nose started bleeding. It took 15 minutes to calm her down (I did not yell, but it was hard). That FREAKED me out. I’m not big on TV in general and would honestly get rid of it if my partner would let me. Now I’m trying to avoid it at ALL costs yesterday was our first tv-free day. Hoping to keep it up without directly telling her we’re taking a break cause I know it’ll upset her and I know her 2 year old brain could comprehend why. Anyway! Wish me luck.
4 weekly meal plan of dinners only, meals that all 4 of us eat, balanced meals, simple to prepare with only 1 meal that takes longer to prepare (ie lasagne, meatballs which I make a double batch and freeze one). This has taken alot of thinking out of working out what to make each week, we just rotate through the 4 weeks worth of dinners which is a lot of variety and takes all the thinking and planning out of what we are having for dinner. Friday and Saturday nights are always oven precooked food or takeaway so it’s really only 5 days of the week I needed to come up with dinners.
Overtime I kept a list of meals that we all like and basically just put them into 4 weeks of dinners which is only 5 dinners each week as mentioned above, Fridays and Saturdays are oven precooked food or takeaway
The friend dinner seem great, but I’ve found it hard for me to schedule with friends. The lunches or snacks have worked well, would like to make a dinner work though
This video 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 so good, thanks for sharing it all. Cooking dinner during nap time has changed the game for us. We can hop straight up from nap and get outside and play instead of me waking the kids just watch me stress out about cooking.
Doing yoga helped me stay sane hahaha it was a great discovery. I will definitely be hiring help for when my newborn comes though, i struggled a lot with cleaning during postpartum so definitely want to do that this time around to stay more sane and be more present with kids
Always a joy to hear you talk ❤ Thanks for being such a positive influence on this new(ish) mom! Also…. You are such a gorgeous pregnant lady 🤰 you are glowing ✨🥰
I'm the dishwasher at night and i try to do a reset at night too mom. My husband and I try to do all the laundry on saturday/sunday amd by monday if we haven't gotten them put away I'll do that while he is at work. The only laundry i do during the week is if i need to wash my dish towels and if my baby's laundry needs done then i do those during the week.
This video! Okay, because of YOU, I have changed my whole outlook on parenting you're truly an inspiration Shayla ❤️ thank you for all your knowledge & help along this journey! I would love to hear you talk more about or do a video on screen time, how you've been able to cut down, what you do to pass time, how to get over that instant need to relieve boredom in any situation. Are there certain times you go without? What happens if you and your partner have different expectations of screen time, etc 😅 I'm really wanting to try this out, but it's been difficult! I'd love some suggestions, please! Also, I would love to hear some ideas on what you write about, journal prompts, a good way to unload things so resentments don't sneak up & getting in the right headspace for the next day 🌞
For anyone pregnant or just don't want to bend over 30 times. Get a clean broom and dust pan both on poles. Sweep up the toys into a basket and organize while sitting down. I get the kitchen clean no matter what. Then get my couch put back together. I take a couple minutes each night to myself. I also try to make up a lunches ahead for myself that I like and is healthy.
I feel like you just saved me several hundred dollars of counseling fees. I became a mom and year ago and we own a business that I do the admin for. I was abused as a child so it’s very hard for me to trust other people who might be in a position to watch my daughter. I do trust the girls at the gym and that is where I go to make my calls now.😂 The rest of the time is spent trying not to feel guilty about doing chores and running the house. We do try to go for an adventure or two a week, but I really think that guilt I have chosen to carry is stealing from my enjoyment from a lot of things. I sincerely like working and building a business with my husband. I love being a mom. I love working around our house. And I love being involved in some of the other pursuits such as church activities and a book club. I have just joined. Sometimes I think I let negative thoughts make me feel like everything isn’t good enough even though everything really is and it’s going so well considering all of the different roles and all of the different responsibilities and tasks. You’ve reminded me positive to have permission to be at peace right where I am at
Wow, great video and perfect timing. I was in tears last night because of all of the mom things... thanks for my phone ease dropping on me (or the stars aligning) so this video fell into my youtube algorithm lol
Love this. It's about getting creative to live out your values. Outside time or a shower together with my small toddler is a helpful reset when I'm getting cranky Lol also just approaching the day slowly...why am I sweating getting my kids coat on?..there's no rush lol.
Girl you should not be worrying about making money, leave that on your husband. You are pregnant, taking care of the other children and taking care of everything else!!!!
I literally have the hardest time asking for help and my husband always tells me I wait until I’m drowning to ask for help. 🫠🫠 but with our second baby I’ve been trying to be better about that. Such great info love your channel!
