Congratulations on the kid and becoming a mother. I agree with original feminism. It was illegal for a woman to run a marathon is crazy. But today’s I disagree. Embracing motherhood is a trait that men do look for. Just like embracing fatherhood is also something we need as well. More men of god. Men do have the wrong idea in life too. Instead of being fathers and husbands be bachelors. Sleep around with women but you aren’t a whore is crazy. God punishes the whore mongers more which was men. I believe this video was very well mentioned and women are very different and we are needed and valued. I believe this was a very intelligent video you made.
This is heartbreaking. I have a 7 month old and I can’t imagine leaving him in a daycare. I feel bad for people who have no choice, but for those who do have a choice to work or not, and choose work over their baby…just don’t have a baby if they will not be a priority.
I disagree. All childfree people aren't immature freeloaders and every parent do not plan nor have the ability to take care of children (and I'd also say that to the majority of CF people, money is hardly ever the main reason for them to be CF). A child is only one kind of responsibility you can have on your life. You can have a responsible job (you're not irreplaceable as a parent, either, as many parents seem to think, even by the expense of the well-being of their children). You can do charity work. You can step in to help your relatives or friends. And sometimes it's indeed a sign of maturity to not have children when you realize the reality isn't there to secure their life. It's pretty disrespectful to say all these people are less responsible simply because they don't have children. Also, sometimes parenthood brings the worst out of people as well. Entitlement, will to control, isolation etc. Many parents also have children to "relive" their lives, pushing their dreams on them, or have children to postpone the management of their traumas or other mental issues. Good for those who end up a good happy family. But it's not as black and white as you make it to seem. Also, we do need to drop the number of people on the planet ASAP, that's simply a fact supported by many fields. Longer we wait and greater we grow before we encourage anyone (even just the people who are willing) to be CF, greater the catastrophe will be globally in the future. I see CF population as the natural way to decrease the population, and if anything, we should support this population, not put them down or try to manipulate them to have children.
Did I ever say all? I said that CF should be the exception not the majority. Also if you had all the people in the earth and each person was given 500 sq feet of space the whole earth would fill up the state of Montana. (Note I heard that on a podcast have not done the math personally but even if that's not the case I'd bet that people still would not be taking up that much space.) To your child you are irreplaceable as a parent. However I do agree that some people are not mature when they become parents and so they are actually not beneficial to their children. My point is that everyone should have the maturity to be able to have kids and if one of the reasons I stated poses a problem for them, then there's ways to find resolutions
@@ellianna.keller I don't know exactly how much is 500sq since I'm European. However, just the space to stand and have a house is not all people need. We also spend space on the fields growing food, fields growing food to our livestock (the majority of firlds are for this purpose actually), for the infrastructure, factories, to manufacture the raw material to products, to offer different services so on and so on... We're totally reaching the limit if we're talking about living, breathing, eating, waste-producing humans there's no way to deny that. No you're not. Orphans exist, children living among the host families or relatives exist. It's a sad reality for some children, but they can live without their parents, they're not irreplaceable in that sense like you make it sound to be. Even the children living with their biological parents have (should have) other supporting adults around them moreover the parents. A child only having their two parents around is in a vulnerable position. My point was, some people may have the maturity needed to have children, but they still may not want them, for a myriad of valid personal reasons. Sure if one _does_ want to have children but is just insecure about how it will all work out, we should support them to achieve that dream (in my country we actually do that, by the tax-funded birth, daycare, education, health care, social security services). But you were especially talking about CF people, those are not that target audience.
@@ellianna.keller Being childfree is an INDIVIDUAL & PERSONAL choice. If we decide to remain childfree for the rest our lives, then it's none of your business. It's our bodies and our choice.
Honey the state of Montana is small relative to the ENTIRE WORLD. My point is if the entire current population could fit in that space (it's enough for a small house) then we can certainly still fit in the entire world. I never said orphans don't exist or that people could survive without parents. However in order for humans to thrive they need a mom and a dad there's so much evidence to support that. I also never said that they don't have a benefit of other adults. Family and grandparents are so beneficial. But in order for humans to live a thriving life they do need their parents. Orphans can still eventually have a thriving life and other people who don't have a stable family culture but it will be much harder and there'll be a lot of undoing they'll have to go through emotionally. In order to raise healthy humans they do need their parents. I never said let's force people to have kids. I do think people need to actually start evaluating their motives though
Here's some historical context for Gen Z: during the middle ages / black plague so many people died in Europe that the wealthy could no longer find workers. This led to astronomical wages for regular people for about a generation or so until the population was booming once again and the serfs went back to being paid serf wages. Times were good after the plague for the everyday working man / woman who could demand whatever they wanted as a salary. Do not let the wealthy talking heads like Elon Musk fool you into thinking less people breeding is a crisis. It's only a crisis for the uber wealthy like him. For the average human less people = higher wages better living standards for everyone. I know Gen Z thinks that marxism is going to save us all, but make no mistake, people in power will never allow a "socialist" utopia, any sort of socialist utopia is going to look like North Korea, not the dreamy good times Gen Z imagines it will be. The elite wealthy will never allow that. The only way to stick it to the uber wealthy, the people in power who have always been in power and will always be in power is to stop breeding. It's the only control the regular class of person of any race or ethnicity really has over the powerful.
no one needs a reason to why they aren’t having kids, people are allowed to just not want them. When you think having kids is the norm or should be the norm you don’t think about that aspect.
You seem to think that people are avoiding having children because they want to avoid maturity and responsibility but I would argue the opposite. Many people are looking at their current financial states and are aware that they could not raise a child in an ideal manner at the moment so they choose not to have one. Some will have some later when they're sure they can raise them right. Some will have them now since younger people have more energy. Some people won't have children at all. And it's up to the individual what their best option is. I am gen z, I am 20 years old and do not want children. I have been certain about this for years. My parents are amazing and I believe that they had the capacity to be so because they waited to have a child until they were ready and wanted one for sure. Ultimately if conditions of the world get better, then more people will have children because they'll feel safe to do so
If that were the primary reasoning I would say that definitely can be a sign of maturity. For the majority that I've seen and the culture at large choosing not to commit to marriage or commit to raising children generally comes from a perspective of not wanting to make the sacrifices necessary. What children need is loving parents who will work their butts off to make sure they are taken care of and fed and have a roof over their head. Many in our culture don't want to have kids because they can't afford the same house that their parents had or a daily Starbucks run for all the kids. Or a new trampoline. Even off of pretty low incomes you can still provide all the necessities for children that they need and generally some extra. I think most people just don't want to have to live in a place that's not as expensive or bougy. I'm not saying this is all people, I'm sure there are exceptions. But I do think that this is a good number of people and the culture at large
You're sounding kinda like an inexperienced teenager. I understand you have felt a need to speak about this topic but you just don't have the vocabulary to articulate it.
Perhaps in some of my other videos I express a bit more clearly. This one for sure has been the quickest I've tried to get one out (I have a baby I've gotta raise so I'm not as focused on scripting and presenting and editing as much)
@@ellianna.keller I understand that taking care of another human being takes a lot of patience and time but if we want to make a point and discuss a topic i think it would be good not to rush it.
1:21 If you are not married you probably should not have a child... Left right then and there - No reason to listen to kids who've read one Ramsey book and lecture others.
Yea not from a Ramsey book, there's lots of statistical evidence that shows that children who grow up with both parents married have better rates of success. That's not to say there's not exceptions and I think there's many single parents who can do a great job but from a statistical perspective on a large scale the best situation for kids is a married mom and dad
I'm Gen Z and I plan to have kids someday, but only when I'll be mature enough to take this tremendous responsibility. I think, that's the main reason why our generation delays or gives up on this matter so much: we are the most conscious generation ever. We know that when the parents are not sure whether they really wanted to be parents and what they want for themselves, it will not benefit the child by any means.
I see how that would be a good reason not to have kids...my question is Why are people putting off maturity or choosing to never be mature enough to handle that responsibility? I think the broader issue is the fact that people want to delay maturity and responsibility and live in a child like state for lots longer than most generations before us have
@@ellianna.keller I don't think that it is possible to choose when to mature. Maturity comes with personal experience and sometimes people can even stay lifelong children. And we don't know for how many people from the previous generations it was really conscious decision to give birth in the young age and how many did it by accident or succumbing to societal expectations. Maybe, Gen Z is just more aware how to avoid unplanned pregnancy and cares less about the society.
I think k part of maturing is specifically putting yourself in situations that will force you to grow. I should clarify that people are putting off responsibility which makes them mature slower. And this is society at large. Other generations in society are encouraging immature people by not giving responsibility to younger generations as well. I would say in general while some people may have still been perpetual children in past times, there was a lot more responsibility at a younger age so it was likely a lot less common than in current times
@@ellianna.keller I agree in general about maturing but to do it by giving birth seems too risky for me. People can mature from difficult situations but they can also have mental breakdown and it will be the child who will suffer the most. I can't imagine situation worser than when parents constantly remind the child how much of their dreams they sacrificed for him, so I think that for people it's better to wait with childbirth specifically till they are mature enough to take the responsibility for another life.
Oh I'm not saying use child birth as a way to mature. I'm saying that you should already be mature enough in general by the time you have a child. Not all ofc there'll be people who need to wait till their thirties. But I think we should see a majority of people ready to have children by their mid twenties ( and responsible and mature enough to do so)
None to my knowledge. I think it's something that used to be more common sense tho. People in US in past centuries were very thrifty and just chose to live within their means
I never said it was by choice or that it's more fun to have to choose to live within your means. Ofc it's always fun to have more money and get to have extras but having extra to go on vacation or buy fancy coffee every day isn't the reality for everyone and it definitely shouldn't be what's keeping people from having a baby. Also there are lots of people who really aren't that rich but are extremely indebted and it affects them later in life.
The raising of a child is by the mother and father, but having other family members in a kid's life is always important and helpful. Im 23 years old so def not a child though I look young 😌
Lmao why did YOU decide to have kids, that's the real question to ask. Another question is why tf do you care about what we do with our bodies? Mind your business, go take care of your child and go find other personality traits other than being an entitled bratty parent. If you weren't jealous you would leave us tf alone.
a lot of people who have children and love children just don't really understand a lot of people who don't want children and often see them as just selfish people, or must have a good reason.. when It is sometimes simply just a choice we can have, and we made said choice. I personally took care of my 4 siblings nearly full time too many times in my life growing up and became quite exhausted of children at quite an early age.. So maybe it is trauma based for me.. However I never question anyone else's desire for children nor do i hate children, I have a short tolerance for having several and or loud children in the same area, which when i think of it is probably linked to that same kind of trauma, but i just remove myself from the situation then. Everyone has their reasons.. The worst thing you can do imo is to push someone in to having children.. It is best for those who can not or do not wish for children to just not have them, then it is to have children in homes with parents who do not want them or care about them. Sometimes people are just not good when it comes to dealing with stress, and children cause a lot of stress especially when you move past one and go in to multiples. It might be fear based, anxiety can really kill just about anything. We need to stop asking why and simply just accepting that different people have and want and can have different lives.. We live for ourselves. Love your children love your family life if that is your desire in life. You need not worry about others choices. Their life style is just not your personal choice, and your life is not theirs, and that is ok. Everyone has their own goals, their own desires, their own way of coping and dealing with the cards we are all dealt with.. The purpose to life is to simply live it.. nothing more. The way in which people commonly do it today vs years past may have changed but the purpose has not changed.
Like I stated in the video I'm not trying to make a choice for anyone else or force someone to have children. I'm making reflections on society at large and the prevalence in this modern culture of avoiding responsibilities and extending childhood for years into adulthood. Ofc there are always going to be the few that have good reasons why they are choosing not to have kids but as I stated in the video those should be exceptions (not the whole entire generation)
They are all going to regret their fertility struggles in their 30s and becoming an old mom. We try to be eco-friendly everywhere we can and so frugal, those estimates of how much having a child costs are way off in our case as well. Suzanne Venker is a great resource telling the reality of things where society has failed girls and women, making us think we should marry careers and put them before our families. Hello from a mother born the very first year of gen Z. I don't agree with everything in your video, but I think it is an important conversation.
Hi. Im one of the oldest Gen Zers, im 26. Im also born and raised as an orthodox Jew. All of my religious friends of the same age and also younger are married with children. I have 4 myself. We start dating for marriage at 18. Ill tell you now its because our religion places GREAT value on marriage and having children. We believe every child brings blessing to the home. The more children you have the more blessed you are. A person without children is compared to a dead person. Not in a bad way but a sad way. The same comparison is made for someone who is compeltely broke. They have nothing. We value and treasure the next stage of life in becoming a parent and developing our character. There are so many parenting classes available to us. There are so many self improvement classes because that is also a big part of the culture. We have huge networks of support systems for pregnant women, women after birth, young moms and fathers and children. Because our community AS A WHOLE values children, parents and families and everyone looks out for everyone else. In the secular world, admittedly, i did not grow up in it, but it seems to me that having chidlren is simply not something that is valued. I see videos of moms who live far away from relatives and have no community or support for after theyve given birth. Its not POSSIBLE to live this way and grow a family. From the outside looking in to the secular world, it simply looks like the environment and culture does not encourage or value creating families and children. Which I find fascinating because if you ask almost anyone who the most importnat people in their lives are, almost everyone says its their family. But if you arent making a family of your own... then... what will happen once your parents are gone and your siblings have made their own lives. You cant just be left without a family, thats a tragedy. You have to make your own. But it isnt encouraged, or fostered. You guys dont seem to be raised to become good parents and spouses. So, good luck I guess.
Frankly some people just don't want kids, and shouldn't be parents. Imagine being born to parents who didn't want you to begin with and only had you because of social pressures. I don't see why it's important that gen z must want children. It's great if you want your children that's you. Currently I'm quite okay without any children I am enjoying my freedom and at the moment if i had a child I'd be miserable. Someday I do want a child when I'm with the right person, but my sister never wants a child and never has and I completely support this decision. She finds babies to be gross, and strange looking. My sister is an amazing and sweet woman but her having a child would be a horrible idea since she doesn't like babies. I also don't believe if you want a child that you have to be married, for me I'd prefer to get married first because there's a safety net, but not everyone believes in marriage or wants that for themselves. Ultimately I just feel that the decisions of others should be respected even if they aren't the same as your own decisions.
My problem isn't with individual people who decide they don't like kids and don't want to have them. I think as a culture it's a much bigger issue. We've come to idolize perpetual or at least extended childhood and portrayed any sense of adulthood or responsibility as bad rather than something to be attained and as a development for our character. And so we've got thirty year olds still living in moms basement playing video games. Responsibility is key to any thriving culture. I would argue also that many thriving cultures really valued children as well and saw them as a way to impart and continue their own culture.
I’m gen z, and I had a baby at 14 (long story) I love my daughter, she’s my best friend. But if you have a choice whether or not to have kids lemme just say; would not recommend. My daughter is the happiest little girl and she has everything she could ever want and need and a ton of friends and family who love her okay, so she’s fine. But everyone talks about how REWARDING it is. But everything else definetly outweighs the rewarding part. Only good part about it is that my kid is really cool and well behaved (but most kids are annoying and awful and not well behaved) sooooo. And I don’t wanna hear comments about how I’m a bad mom. I am an amazing mother no argument. I just don’t really like kids, except mine. And if you have a choice, don’t do it, seriously…. Moms have the kind of exhaustion that 10 years straight of sleep can’t fix. It’s exhaustion down to the SOUL.
Ofc you're not a bad mom just because you think motherhood is exhausting. That's actually kind of my point about motherhood. The rewarding aspect partially is that your character (patience self sacrifice etc.) grows when you have to put aside your desires and preference for someone else. I also would recommend that people if possible to be married if they do plan to have kids because a spouse really helps a lot! Ofc everyone has their own choice tho
I have a choice and I definitely will do it. It’s not ‘exhaustion’ only (it’s only a small part of it). My job is exhausting but I love it and it’s super rewarding, which makes the exhaustion worth it x10000. That’s your experience, but doesn’t mean it’s everyone’s. Most mothers actually do realize it’s more rewarding than not. It’s unfortunate you ended up with a child as a child yourself and that you had a bad experience with motherhood, but doesn’t mean everyone will and that they should avoid it at all cost. Also it’s such a weird trend to hate on children these days like people will openly say stuff like “When a baby won’t stop crying and you wanna hit it” and it’s completely normalized. Children aren’t annoying, they just aren’t as independent as adults and have smaller options to express their needs (cries, etc.). Some people need to work on their emotional health/regulation and it’s not the kids’ problem.
There are people who just don’t want kids, why do we need a reason? We also need to look at some of the reasons why people want kids. I hear a lot of “you’re going to be alone when you’re old, who is going to take care of you” and I think that’s a very selfish reason to have children. Personally, my husband and I decided not to have children unless I was able to be a stay at home parent. I know we could have kids now with us working two jobs but why would I want to have kids just to turn around and leave them with someone else for 8+ hours a day, it’s not fair to them. I just don’t think anyone should feel pressured to have children for any reason, married or not, whatever the financial situation is. If you choose to have children that’s great for you, it does not mean the rest of us are putting up excuses. I think with the years I’ve learned that we have to respect each others choices in society, not any one choice is going to be the correct one for all and your views might change with time.
Not forcing anyone to have children, but I think we absolutely need to be having conversations about the reasons why people do what they do. I think it's moreso reflective of the mindset of the whole society as a large. There are exceptions ofc, but when we see a whole generation trying to push off and completely eradicate responsibility as it has been known for thousands of years...that's when more needs to be addressed. (Like I said this isn't the reason for everyone some people like you feel they can't make it off one income [which is also why I make a lot of videos about how one can make it off one income even a small one] but for many it's a deeper issue that we see reflected in society)
@@ellianna.keller having children is not a responsibility? Just because you chose to take that on doesn’t mean anyone is obligated to. Its a choice, not a responsibility. I don’t get this weird superiority complex from people who have kids. We literally have an overpopulation problem. People choosing not to have kids is a GOOD THING for our planet.
@@ellianna.keller Just because something has been done for thousands of years doesn't mean we should never change it. War has occurred time and time again for thousands of years, should we keep having wars?
@@mjjae8122 I invite you kindly to Germany. We have a lack of mechanics, doctors, nurses, teachers... You name it. Because some people did choose not to have kids because of cold war, environment, self development.... And now, many things do not really work any more.... No staff... You see?
@@YvonneHoerdemaybe we should contemplate it depending on the country. I live in Mexico and trust me there's NOT SPACE! Honestly you really can tell the overpopulation... I think it's the same in nomerous countries in Latin America...
The real reason why Gen Z doesn't want children is because caring for children is difficult and exhausting, many people don't have the patience for it.
Now , i wouldn't take this to the talks of generation bc in my personal opinion, rhe evaluation of what happened in our society to solely base on the generation ppl born alone is already a fallacy in observation thus no wonder the hypothesis generated will tend to be wrong,as you alrdy using the wrong equation. Second reason why we shouldn't have discuss about whether childfree or not by categorizing the generation era a person born is, we all live in present and the present is now ,so if you live now together it makes no sense to differ two factor in the same time and space as if it is a separate matter over all. To the main topic , especially when you say : society make the cost of children seems higher than reality ,then proceed to take sample case like in africa to compare to your living in somewhere more developed.... Ini 2:52 Well, young lady, your arguement..kinda flopped? I mean if you're gonna raise your kid in place A with standard of culture A and expect your child to ace in society A of nation A , take case of the time and space where A is valid don't go around and use place/time/country B standard with country B culture as comparison or sample case ,it is invalid , and im sorry if it sounds like offense but it is not, i just hope you won't be spreading around this fallacy of logic to ppl your age and be under-estimating the hardship of raising a child bc the responsibility cost will be very grave and If even 1 or every household youngster have this kind of misconcept and perceiption on underestimating the ramification of bringing & nurturing a new individu into this world gene pool & the contribution that very child will have in our society, the next 50years of human civilization will spell gravy indeed. May peace be with you and ,be calm have a pause from social media ,read more book and contemplate more ,sometimes being too much in touch with virtual reality create discrepancy towards reality and i do realize it could be very subtle and insidious that you barely realize it had cause miscomprehension. So ,stay calm and rethink please before spreading worda that could impact ppl widely
Ok granted about Africa. However I know many families living off of fairly low incomes that live in the US and are one income families and are thriving. I talk a lot about that and how to get there on my channel as well because we are literally doing it. So if you want to compare A to A there you go. Also true, other generations before us have started to idolize a responsibility free life and that's just been seeping down from generation to generation. I think that's also a BIG reason why we have people who should be full adults still acting like children because the culture idolizes perpetual or at least extended childhood and lack of maturity. It's a HUGE responsibility to bring up a child, which is why I think it's sooo important. Ofc I think it should be done by a mother and a father who are married (that's statistically shown to be what's best for children) if possible. And I also think people have to then choose to actually raise their child's and put the effort in. But if more people started actually doing this I think our whole culture would be a lot better and more responsible as a whole
Amazingly said. I think maybe a lot of parents know this, maybe….but just don’t have a choice sadly…. On the other hand, people who keep saying nursery is best, they need to hear this. My family still feel there’s something wrong with my decision for not sending my toddler to nursery. I signed him up three different settings and in the end I took him out. I could tell emotionally he was different after he went to nursery for a couple months. He never ever hid away from me when he was upset, until he started nursery…..I was so upset…he chose to walk into a dark room and cried instead of coming to me. Straight away I took him out and like yours, this nursery was an outstanding nursery but there’s just too many children…. I then quit my job and am now a SAHM. I am very very grateful that we’ve been able to choose this choice. Really thank you for this video. At times when others question me, these types of videos really helps 🙏🏻
GIRLLLL! i was a premie as well!! Wow what a shock! I was born in November and i was 1 pound!! 😮 listen, i am so thankful that you are here with us today! You are such a blessing to everyone. Im so happy that you and your baby is all good and healthy! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ take care. Enjoy motherhood. I cant wait to have a baby one day 21 almost 22 soon 😊😊😊
It doesn't make someone selfish or a bad person. It's their life. Don't tell what to do but. Every reason can be valid. Not everyone want kids. It's not an obligation it's a choice.
Im not saying that everyone who chooses not to have a child is choosing that out of selfishness, but there is certainly some who are making that choice rooted out of selfishness
You're right it's not an obligation it's a privilege, but I'm absolutely going to encourage people to take advantage of that privilege if they are able
Nobody regardless of the cohort you belong to can afford to build a family because the trade-offs to be made are too great and options are being too few. I happen to be a Gen X man who is both single and childless and you know what? That's just fine.
I know I am oldfashionef yet why do people have children if they can't be with them at least the first few years of their lives? I never understood this. Can someone enlighten me? 😊 Enjoy Susan Venker
