Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and on this channel I teach you how to transform your life.
You probably know the key to success is self-development. But how do you actually do it? How do you make the changes you want in your life?
That's where I come in. I created The Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives you the opportunity to create true and long-lasting change in your life. Our courses, with a 99.7% success rate, are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life.
Our RU-vid videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.
So what are you waiting for? This could be the start of your personal development journey.
My dismissive used to send me photos of us together, saying don't we look good together. Then she would ask if I missed her! I noticed her words never matched her actions. In a whole month, we saw each other once. Then I decided this was no longer the relationship I was looking for. We had a phone conversation which involved me calling her behaviour out, and I ended the relationship. I removed her from all of my social media. I am much happier and am now dating healthy people who invest their time in me. More importantly, their words match their actions. Time is the most important gift you can give to anyone. If they don't want it, remove yourself and give it to someone who sees your value.
I’m a DA. Reading the comments it seems like a lot of people hate people like me. If it’s any consolation, becoming DA was almost as hard as actively being DA is. My mother was extremely narcissistic. I learned from a very early age that love was painful and unsafe. I’m working on it. But if I don’t feel safe, my walls go up and I want to leave. Love is scary AF for me but I’m trying.
This helped me to remember that I am secure and that the anxiousness from getting ghosted doesn't make me an AP, as I don't have AP tendencies. Ghosted after a 4 month exclusive relationship recently. First time I've ever had it happen. I thought things were great. She was even already talking about moving to my city. She came to visit, brought me a heartfelt gift, spent half the weekend together and we went on a day trip, having a wonderful loving time, and half way through she got sick. She rushed home, sent me a couple distant messages the next day, then told me she's dealing with a lot and then ghosted me. She had told me previously though that sometimes she just shuts down and takes time to deal with her stuff, and that she's broken off a couple engagements in the past, so this connected the dots to me that she is probably DA. It was extremely hurtful at first and made me feel like I wasn't worth a text even and it gave me anxiety. I didn't act on the anxiety though, and didn't take it as a reflection of myself. I reached out to her once letting her know to take the time she needs, and that I'm here to talk and be non-judgemental, and reassured her that I care about her. Still haven't heard from her even though she's been active and posting anger videos on social media. Like "f the world" kind of videos. She's obviously dealing with something. But I know I showed up for her and offered her the best of me and my heart. If it wasn't for her, that's cool, she should go for what she wants. But I am thinking it was probably more of a flight due to feeling her own vulnerabilities as we got more connected. I hadn't told her yet, but I was falling in love with her, and I got the impression she felt the same way. At least she acted like she was. Anyways, the ghosting/avoidance thing made me realize that if she does come back, I'll talk and listen, but I won't deal with this type of behavior in a relationship. So in a sense I'm glad she showed me now. I'm gonna give her another 5 days or so and then text her telling her I'm moving on and thanking her for the time and memories, and wishing her the best of luck though. I don't want to move on leaving it in limbo so there's no confusion. And I don't hold any anger towards her. Even though what she did hurt me and was shitty, she did it from her own unhealthy place that she learned from probably a lot of suffering she endured in her life, and I feel sorrow for her because if our relationship, which was really healthy, scared her to this level, then she's probably going to endure a lot more heartache in the future, which makes me sad for her, and more thankful for my secure attachment style. The little AP part of me makes me miss her and want to chase and wants to 'fix' the issue and continue with her, but the secure part in me knows that will more than likely only lead to more heartache and that I deserve better. I don't want to be in a relationship where I have to chase anyone, or feel a need to chase even.
You think this is just a game,... I take friendship seriously. Not something you play with like a play date. Loyalty I bet you never beg the question.I demand it unless I dog which I shit C then and my word is nothing. Whats your verdict or ya word. Now ya know , now what sort of friend are you, real or fake. Never had a friend like me who press ya first ta test ya worth. Cause we tighter than pussies we hard arse not like those lame men you see rapping on TV. Real G's keep it a buck. Fake friends I call enimies.Cause that shit can be Judas. Even you Brutas. Julius Ceasar treasonous seasons of back stabbing who can ya trust no one solid just dogs or if this is a lie. Then why is it the truth., Exactly. Case and Point,... Friend or foe. There it is, friends with the enemy. Now I know,.. Good to know,nice to meet you. Shit to bad, you looked hot to, Vindaloo
Hello friend. A good friend would say hello back. In a friendly way. Like a relationship. It goes both ways. Psychology says but you must be an expert on that. And a psychologist is a therapist who is not your mate. They the one who helping you out cause you have issues and they feel like a Dr talking to a patient. F that shit. Prove you a real bitch. Mates would write back to a comment left like this. Like whats up. You must be the avoident friendship type. I that all in ride or die type of friend. You real or not. Chasing friendship is like a friend zone. Wanna ride with me have a good time with a real G. Like Gucci Mane said, warning about Fake Friends. Not many have real ones. If you do your lucky. Cause real friends are hard to find. A good bloke never dogs his mates. Has there back. Holla's back. Happy to see a sick c*** to catch up with sick bruv. Come round and have a bong dude I got some green here and lets do a rap cuz. All good bro he says, sounds sick. I got some shit on me you gonna love it high grade I surprise ya with gifts c*** ya ganna love this shit bruv. Then yeah, lets rap a cd out tonight if ya want but I got to go tomorrow morning I got court for that charge I copped from that f ing d head I robbed. Be about 20 to 40 mins. Justb gotta do some shit first then I be there cuz for real good to catch up with ya bruv, to many shit C***'s out there claiming they all it but shit bruv you know how much they all talk that good shit bro but push come to shove they shit C***'s aye that need to be dog cause they dogs bro. Ez, see ya soon bro WWE gonna go hard.... Cool. Yeah cool bro,sounds lit bro I gonna let the other boys know if ya solid come round or go shit ya solids in the loo cause they shity c**'s these dudes need to get flushed down the loo talking all that shit bruv Vindaloo sd might be just me and you bro, like who else is real these days sad state of affairs. My mate shannon and paul though solid. I give em a call you do the same with ya tighness cause all the sick C888's in town come round or ger rounded up by my sound make some noise for the Kings in town we the rule of school in cool groups I stand alone or with Real G's Unit of us a blast they just die faster than a dog getting his day finally prove real or get out the way talk shit get got like I know whats up and don't ever get played thinking I can be fooled. Fake friends is what that is called. Holla b or break ya neck at high speed internet buffering like they frozen in time stick in the mud stick up ya bum. Ya done ya dumb or prove me surprised pleasantly and brilliant. You passed the test real chicks I love the best. GodFather Don RIP the best not many real breeds left rather be alone than to hang with a fake C888 who bore me to death and lonely is just a lack of the real ones we keep it a buck real G's,... Yeah, Ezy bruv. Word out to Bobby Shurder. Real or die like murder. Rest in Peace. Or forever hold ya tongue. Cats get gats in ya son. I the son, cause they call me the Gun. Farken Bang!!! Ya done or ya Run or ya come round sickest in town I love ya never get a mate like me who got ya back look out for ya bestly good is my advice in a hood of dicey guys your bad taste in men. Tested out, impress me nowww. Or disappointed again. Expectantly, Disresping G's. Dispicable me, despicable you. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, never you don't know Don then clearly you have not a clue. Murder she wrote, never killed a dude for having the wrong attitude. Gatta Gotta Good, The Don
Thanks for creating this video - had to listen to it a few times, take notes. It was very helpful for my life. I don't see the link for the needs, I did get the download for the reprogram your subconscious mind & podcast info. Am I just not seeing it?
It sucks cause my FA ex broke up, said she wanted to stay friends, said she still loved me, then said she wanted to move on again (all while showing me absolutely nothing to show she truly loved me). Like, I’ve forgiven her for everything, but in general I really don’t think it’s fair to ask someone to continue to give them those same positive loving things you gave during dating without requiring any actual commitment from your end. It’s either you get all of me, or you get none of me imo
Hi @thepersonaldevelopmentschool , if my attraction to a particular person starts with limerence, does that disqualify it as a potentially good partnership? I’ve heard that butterflies aren’t a good thing so is it impossible to be mindful and have this develop into a healthy relationship?
The title of this video needs to be change to: "Find out if the man-child you thought you were in a adult relationship with who has been emotionally neglecting you for months threw a tantrum when confronted and discarded you like garbage is thinking of you" 😒 No therapist should be telling anyone to try and acclimate they're emotional needs to whims of Fearful avoidants
I stumbled across you on RU-vid. You have given me hope and direction that I too can heal and prosper. Thank you for your gift of exposing yourself and sharing your knowledge through this video
I'd rather listen to someone a bit older. I am 52 now and super lonely for various reasons. I just think that ppl of different age groups have different needs and different approaches to meeting new people and making new friends
I feel like so many anxiously attached people don't seem to put together that that extreme overwhelming feeling of discomfort that makes them want to chase is the EXACT same discomfort felt by avoidants when they feel like they can't escape you long enough to breathe for a while and reset themselves. Once I put that together, it made it so much easier to give them space, and it's paid off.
I think I'm comfortable with different levels, either close, balanced, or even more distant is all right. But fluctuating from one end to the other puts one in a tangle.
Interesting, thank you! Though I have difficulties hearing what you say. For me the words blurs together too much to understand it all. It would be great if you could talk a bit clearer and maybe a bit slower. <3
I used to watch these videos as a partner of a DA and read all the negative comments and say “but MY DA wouldn’t do THAT”… But he did. After five years he broke up and got back together with me (with promises of a perfect life) three times over the span of two months and this last time I told him to not contact me again. Do yourself a favor… stay away from DAs.
Avoidants start off wanting " "unearned closeness " quickly to get you attached and feeling vulnerable.. ( pseudo level 4). Its goes downhill in a heartbeat from there into the negatives leaving you confused and hurt....Leave it doesn't get better from there .
I wonder then, why anxious are trying to get unearned closeness? They are the ones pressing for it from day one, and taking the avoidant bate when it's there.
Not so sure .. about anything anymore if I'm honest, but I think either someone who would want that kind of closeness at first but then push it away, is either "FA" in the parlance of this corner of the internet, or .. well we just have to acknowledge part of anyone who's feeling insecure in a dynamic is that avoidance will come in, even for anxious appearing sorts .. whether it presents as pushing away or pulling in behaviors... Whether we're feeling trapped or people pleasing out of fear of loss, we're * avoiding * bringing our true selves to the dynamic by way of avoiding sharing our needs. So .. idk .. potato po-tah-to it's not so different from a certain angle. Idk just my thoughts lately.
You are so so so very informative where is all this life information in one place😊??? May I add 2levels to my own closeness scale. 6. Intimacy : closeness in emotional and being sexual sensual AND sharing your inner world is intimate what it feels like to be you in ways don't share with others. Spouse level. 7. Not only personal but Your Private and secret self that no one knows Fully being known. ❤❤❤
Wow this makes so much sense now I actually know where I'm at and where they are at, lol. I've never heard this explained like this but I appreciate the mathematic approach to this with level numbers as an autistic individual.
Question, if someone (DA ex) claims that they want to rebuild trust and the relationship with you, then tells you his socialising goals for the future are those : "I need to enjoy my life now and I intend to be more sociable with my friends and family. I'm working long hours so my responses will be scarce." It doesn't add up right ? I told him that since the relationship is clearly not one of his priority atm based on what he said, he doesn't seem to have time or want to make time for a relationship, nor the willingness to invest into it. I don't understand why he even reached out in the first place. I think I reacted securely but I'm not sure ?
As long as you keep setting and maintaining your own boundaries and relationship goals, it doesn't matter why he reached out. You know what you want, and he ain't it.
My experience is we went to level five very quickly then as my anxious severely fearful avoidant did the slow fade we went backwards to level one which is where we are now.
Its the illusion of being close almost, happened to me too because I was unintentionally distant until I was suddenly all in and that triggered them. You wont truly be there until they feel safe to consistently be outputting that effort without secretly bottling up their fears that makes them withdraw which really sucks.
I'm probably FA strong anxious leaning I'm really good at communication , encouraging connection and authenticity and openness in others, and acceptance . But also very good at problem solving and helping other reframe things Yeah my good friend DA is a kinesthetic learner very strong at learning mechanical things and practical things. Excellent work ethic
