Im happier living alone and no friends has not been an issue im 36 now I never feel lonely because my time alone is either relaxing or fun last night i went to the cinima solo and had a blast ❤
Me 98% content, 2% lonely. Guess which is hardest to live with. What helps me is counting my blessings (trite, I know) and taking joy in small pleasures. Oh, and falling into a hug with someone at every opportunity. Thank you for sharing, harrowing as it was for you. I see I have bumped into a RU-vid 'friend' below, which is nice.
Hi Jay - maybe get your vitamin D levels and hormones checked.- this can contribute to low mood and i appreciate getting to see a doctor is not the easy at the moment. I think that you would have had a better time with your girlfriend. It seems that you are clearly in love and travelling whilst you have a loved one at home and you are alone can cause isolation. I also think that doing something manual will help your mental health. There will still be stress but in a different way. Sometimes we have to accept change but you will find a job really quickly. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first otherwise there will always be a what if.
I relate so hard to the mentality of "I can feel better with exercise and books and self improvement instead of just going out and meeting people" I think is a control issue and fear of being let down somehow knowing I'm not alone makes me feel better maybe more motivated to go out Thanks for posting this journey
I'm 35, a single mom with a son, i have stayed single and alone for 3 years now after the death of my ex but lately it's getting hard to stay single and alone cause i just want a good man with a good heart to love me and be good to my son
I am so lonely but I cannot show this outside. At work, people think I am positive and outgoing but I am so lonely and have no friends. I have no hobbies, I just wake up go to work come back home, sleep, go to work. At a dead end job but too scared to quit and need to pay mortgage and bills. I feel like I am stuck in a rut - how can I come out of this?
I'm 37 and I'm quite lonely. I've got a great wife and kids, but so many friends moved away and others had some crippling mental health issues. I'd like to make more friends, but I no longer have any time to make good ones. I'm building up new relationships now but these things take so long. Sometimes I think about all of my oldest friends being gone and I have a total breakdown. I'm quite successful in my career but I feel like an utter failure in my social life. I just have to keep marching forward every day hoping that one day it will be better and I don't really have anybody to talk to about it. I talked to my therapist but eventually it felt empty because ultimately I was paying him to listen. I can't put everything on my wife because it's not fair to her. I can only put so much on the limited number of people nearby and hope that things change one day.
True is 'friends' only want you to be their clown or to make their life easier. If you can get used to being alone and enjoy it you can really win in this life. How did your boxing class go? Are you still going?
im 33 Years old. I got a family and just stay at home, i feel lonely sometimes but i am happy with what I have. peace of mind is priceless, i can do whatever I want to do and no one will judge me coz i am enjoying what I am doing. keep going! Peace of mind is better than having friends that is fake.
I went to social anxiety meetup in Berlin for the same purpose. But I met very difficult people over there, they were younger and not at all respectful towards my culture or me. I never liked it and didnt know how to deal with that situation as I was already not in top of my forms.
Right now when I am watching your video I am in Phuket, Thailand and I am 37. I came to Thailand for exactly the same reason and I am feeling exactly the same like you described. I even tried the Euro trip last year but I felt more lonely and sad while travelling. I have a good and stable career but I feel I am not fitting in the society because I am not married and settled as per social norms . And I am scared too at times of ending up like that. I tried some touristy stuff, went on islands trips last week but I feel better in my room than going out forcefully but then staying in room makes me more miserable or depressed. Its like I am stuck in some loop and its suffocating. Never thought in my life that I would feel this some day.
Do you think that with the modern woke government that shames Men for supposed oppression, cares more for the rights of migrants way more than it's own citizens, shames colonialism and imperialism that they will give up its remainder overseas territories since they're trying to be the complete opposite of the old British Empire?? Otherwise it would be hypocritical for the UK government to keep those overseas territories - The Cayman Islands, British Virgin Islands, Barbados, Turks and Caicos etc.
I wish I had the answers mate. I had some health problems for a couple of years and lost my job, friends and my music career. When your health falls apart you care about nothing other than getting better. So I neglected friendships, couldn’t socialise etc. now that I’m a lot better I got a job, got back to the gym etc.. and now I have realised that I have almost no friends. Only just started to care but it hit me hard and I resonate exactly with what you are saying. The worst is seeing old friends who have moved on without you and still meet up with other old friends. Also seeing people who seemingly have a huge circle of friends and living there best life.
Bro maybe try traditional marriage i dont know it works for many people you are a good looking guy and successful you'll have many options.....wish you the best,hopefully one day we will find out being lonely for a long time was the path to a better life And maybe not but tye treasure is in the journey o guess 😄
Thank you so much for your candid take on this. After moving, changing jobs, a breakup and losing the few friends I did have in my life, I’ve gotten so accustomed to being lonely that the thought of anything social feels so foreign. My birthday is around the corner and I don’t even want to think about it, much less celebrate.
I totally understand your point. Nevertheless, from my observations the situation is the same all over Europe. I find food pretty affordable in the UK compared to Europe.
Hey Jay, I love your incredibly eloquent and honest streams of thought. I’m at the same stage of life as you, and am having an almost identical experience. I left for Australia 6 months ago, after my industry crashed in the UK - and feel that same lonely, aimless hollowness, even though I’m living my dream, sitting on a beautiful beach off Sydney. But your videos are reminders that none of us are alone in this feeling. Thank you for your invaluable advice, honesty and courage buddy - and know that you’re really making a difference with these videos. Keep up the good work.
I think the loneliness we feel stems more from the comparisons we do every day with other people's lives. Back then when everything was analogue there was no 'window' into the lives of others, so naturally our benchmarks were more real, less perfect, and I guess we would only compare ourself (if even) with people we actually knew. So yes, I can fully relate to how this all went in a downward spiral after covid. Thanks for making content.
I just saw your video from two years ago and I'd love to be your friend, or chat. I have social anxiety and ptsd so I very much relate. When you'd like a friend, I'm here. Plus Im a stranger so you can tell me anything and who cares what I think. I'm a good listener. My name is Sandi, it's nice to meet you Jay. You are worthy - please know that.
I know this is two years late, but im here if you want to talk about anything. I'm a stranger too so you can say anything because who cares what I think, ya know? I struggle with PTSD so ...I get it.
people in relationship underestimate how hurtful it is to be chronically single. We know people can't solve our problems, but having a partner that is by your side is priceless
Random thought, did you consider that you might be autistic? And you could be masking stuff and so I started thinking I might be that’s why I’m projecting here
What you said at 16:40 to 16:56… that resonated with me. I think you should expand on that. Eg. How do you admit the reality of where you are? Or how does one even come to recognise that? I suspect that some people live their whole life without realising they are in that fantasy. Being humble about the next step, what do you mean? I’ve found it thought provoking mate.
Hi Jay thank you soo much for this video when I received the notification i was so happy the hear you , speaking about my self what makes me not confident about myself and about the world is the abuse physical ans emotional I received through out my life from my parents they both planted seeds of self hate , melancholy, and low self esteem inside of me and till now I find that facing the world is a big thing , but I'm hoping for things will get better icant wait to move to canada and start my life there and allow my self to heal .
Life certainly does change into adulthood. It really is all about finding your person and creating a family. Problem is many generations have been burned by divorce or marriages/families that lack closeness. Then everyone becomes a lone ranger at heart. Commitment and family is where you find purpose, but first you have to see it modeled correctly growing up. Many of us never had that blessing.
I can relate to this a lot mate! I've got the same ideology as you explain which is a little eye opening haha, I've booked off the whole of December to fly into Hanoi... I uploaded a video a while back, and have been recording life updates ever since, just not uploaded any... but they are very much similar to yours! i admire your courage for uploading these honest vids. Ultimately, I think the people who are following you and the community you've created feel similar. Power through Jay, you're stronger than you think and the lessons you learn now will stay with you for a long time! If you're ever in Suffolk, hit me up! I'm a groundworker and have also spent 10 years in an office environment but when covid hit, i couldnt do it any more - So I'm back on the tools now!
