oh my god. sorry, this is a 6 year old video, but of all of the videos about "are you trans?" you are like, laying out my entire life for me right now. ive never felt so seen and im so so so so happy about it.
I'm about 2 1/2 months on testosterone, and for the first few weeks to maybe first month my libido actually almost disappeared; after a while it returned to it's normal old level. Also, I think I feel very slightly weaker since I started T (I was already very strong pre-T), not a big difference, but I definitely have not had the strength increase that is so common. Another surprising thing has been that for each voice drop I've gotten, I've also had a corresponding increase in my upper range; so I went from only being able to do tenor pre-T, to currently being able to sing from bass-baritone up to mezzo... It's pretty neat, but I don't know if it's a just a temporary fluke. My speaking voice hasn't changed all that much, since the midpoint of my range is about the same, since my voice gains have been happening somewhat evenly in both directions...
I’m going on T soon and this helps me a ton as I feel I’ll go off once the changes that feel right to me happen. I already feel my appearance is “me”, minus a few changes and seeking my voice to match who I am.
I agree about you being a mind reader without knowing you are. I didn’t even search anything, starting T soon, and want to remain more how I am minus a deeper voice - which is my main concern. Thanks for this and for everyone who commented.
Can you please reach out to me.i am very scared to start hormones.i received my hormones 2 days ago and i just can’t pull my self to do it.and this video is exactly what im going thru.pelase help me
Your videos have always had this wholesome vibe to them! I started T about a month after you and it has been so nice to hear your perspective on things.
So how`s T doing for you? There`s no info on your channel, just you went away, you`d taken T and changed. Your last video was a year ago. What happened to the top surgery you were planning? Let`s hear your perspective on things. People want to hear about Tpeople who`ve been on cross-sex hormones for 3/4 years plus.
This topic truly doesn’t get talked about enough in the trans community, this video really sums up the anxieties and doubts ive been having recently about my identity and going through with hormones. I’m 18 and I now have the ability to start hormones, like you said all of a sudden it became real. It always felt like this faraway and unobtainable thing for me and now I can finally reach it and i can finally feel like my life is mine. This video helped me find a way to put how I’ve been feeling into words, and it’s brought me a lot of reassurance and I feel more confident with what direction I want to go with my transition, thank you for talking about this!
I also made sure I would be ok stopping T before starting, I even watched detransitioner's videos because I also wanted to make sure I would be ok being a detransitioner if that ever happened. I am.now 2 years on T and not looking to go off it. I have always related so much to how you explain you experiences and it's crazy. I did not come out as early as you, but how you explain your experiences really resonates with me
Kovu, I know I’ve already told you this before, but I’m genuinely wholeheartedly so friggin proud of you dude. I look up to you beyond words and I can’t wait to see what you do moving forward on your journey of loving and finding yourself 🩷 you’re incredible and I’m forever sending my love to you my friend
Så kul att se dig igen! Är lika gammal som dig och brukade kolla på dina videos i tonåren. Kom också ut 2015 som transman men ser mig som ickebinär nu. Allt tog väldigt lång tid så börade testo först för 7 veckor sen. Så intressant att höra dina upplevelser
holy crap he's less than 2 years older than me? I felt like such a kid looking up to them. This is actually a similar story to me. I have been forgetting to take my shots lately & tbh I've been thinkinig about staying off for awhile. I have a consult with a surgeon & that made me realize: If I'm getting top surgery, I won't need testosterone to make me feel nonbinary. I wish my voice could still get deeper, but I've also reached a point where I am starting to dislike my fat distribution. I think it was nice maybe a year ago, but now it's getting more internal & in my abdomen, which at first was better than my hips but now is kind of unpleasant. A while ago I was really really happy with my body hair but now I think I'm going too far to the masculine side of things. Now, I'm finally happy with my facial hair. Testosterone has done what I wanted, but it has also gone past what I wanted in some areas (not enough on my voice) & I think I was staying on it, partially bc I like how strong it makes me feel & I want to keep dropping my voice, but also because I feel like I need the masculinity while I'm still pre-op. I think once I get top surgery I won't need to be masculine in my hormones too, I can be nonbinary because I have less femininity that needs to be evened out with hormones. I have noticed that since I've been on T I am more comfortable dressing or accessorising in feminine ways bc I don't feel like I need to balance out my body's fem with dressing masc. I haven't had a period yet tho so we'll have to wait until then.
You can`t pick and choose the effects of testosterone. You`re obviously a woman who doesn`t like the effects of t, so stop it, move on, and stop obsessing about something as insignificant as `gender`. Look at Kovu, two years older than you, but could pass for a decade and a half older.
3:50 The reason women get more "hormonal" is due to more testosterone right before the period starts. Essentially, women behave more like men then but not everyone is effected by these hormones anyways. Everything else is just sexist stereotypes.
15:03 I get this so much- but with they/them pronouns. Like, deep down I know I like these pronouns. But it actually feels like a suprise when someone uses it, it's something new and unexpected. I actually started to question when I felt weirded out "do I actually like they/them? Have I just made it up? I feel suprised when someone refers to me as they". But after some time, I got more used to it. Refering to myself as 'they' feels nice. The 'weirdness' came from it being a new thing; from being used to only being called she/her all my life.
11:13 my questioning demigirl/genderfae/girlflux a$$ everyday: okay but do we feel like a girl or not a girl 🤨🤨? If girl -> "what if you're just a ✨️cis girl trying to be special✨️?" If not girl -> "what if you're actually A TRANS BOY IN DENIAL?"
thank you for sharing your experience.❤ when i started hrt over a year ago at 19yo, i accepted the possibility of me stopping it in a few years - i actually knew that one day i will want to stop (and perhaps start again later), but that day has not come yet. :) it doesnt change anything about the fact that im trans and that hrt helped me so much when it comes to daily life and overall comfort in my body. i feel great with where im at at the moment.🌼 different people have different needs and goals that can change as time passes. im happy to be able to hear about your journey. i wish you all the best!
I love how open you talk about this, especially compared to the old videos where you kinda tried to fit into the box of a trans man. I've had so many similar experiences. Went from a trans man to nonbinary to I've never really tried being a woman and I'm curious if I could be one to I don't want to label anything anymore to nonbinary again. And it's not like I'm new to this, I've thought about it for six years now and been out for three. I changed my name a few times and still haven't really found the right one, right now I use a nickname of my birth name, and honestly I don't even know if I want to change it. Started T last week and in the weeks leading up to that I realized that I have actually no Idea what my transition goal is. I dont think I want to stay on T forever, but probably once the changes start, I'll change my mind. Or realize that T actually isn't for me. I always wanted top surgery but right now I'm not sure if I still need it. And I honestly have no Idea where the social transition is going. There's a new self ID law, I could change my legal gender... And I dont know if I'll ever want to. But if there's one thing I learn from you then it's that this is okay. I don't have to know where I'm going, but I'm sure that this is the right path.
The direct feeling of empathy and joy about the little things in life are something that happens after overcoming depression. I dont see it as something related to gender. The who is more trans thing and who transition earlier sounds a lot like pro ana groups. Ideally comparison and envy should not be part of transitioning. Yes, hairloss is probably never the only reason to stop T. Cis men don't start estrogen to keep their hair. Hormones have an effect on way more than just hair So a single cosmetic thing cannot be the reason to completely change the endocrine system. Yes, 16 is really young. I can only imagine what this means to think "how would life has been for me without medical Intervention as my birth gender" even if you have been suicidal back then. I also see in many trans people after years of transition when they are more chill they start thinking as if gender doesn't matter that much and even thinking they could have easily lived as their birth gender because they forget how they felt like before transitioning. Making sure you dont make a decision because of pressure is almost impossible because even so you want to keep that out of the equation you still feel the pressure otherwise it would not have been a thought at all. What you say in the end that it was impossible to delay starting T.. That's what is not take seriously when talking about young people even if they are not forever trans. A lot of the people who are called rogd or whatever.. They still so suffer very much and it needs to be treated and take seriously. It is not as if there was no problem at all even if they later stop T or whatever. Something was going on nonetheless.
I find your experience so enlightening and it reassures me that I'm not the only one being more on the non binary side. I'm getting my uterus removed in a few weeks, and after that I'm going to drastically drop the amount of T I'm taking. Most of the changes I needed happened and I'm confortable now, and as long as I don't have my period, which was a very disphoric thing for me, then I don't mind getting off of T for a bit. It's nice to feel it's something I can choose for myself, and that it means being closer to myself without worrying about being a real trans or something. I reached my most comfy spot, I'm in better health than Ive ever been, and you make me feel seen. Thank you so much for all your videos and your openness about these things!
Yo Kovu, if you do end up restarting T but still have concerns about balding, look into finasteride or duasteride. They are 5 alpha-reducatase inhibitors, meaning they block the conversion of T into DHT, which is the hormone responsible for hair loss, bottom growth, facial and body hair growth.
I've been a passive viewer of this channel since the video where you came out to your parents, and although I knew I was trans at the time, I only managed to access T 2 years ago. I just wanted to say it's really comforting to hear your perspective on this and I really appreciate it. I'm happy on T right now and I'm steadfast in my identity, but it's comforting to hear someone who was once a binary trans man come up and say it's okay to just go with the flow of your identity. I have a lot of admiration for you and the place you are in right now compared to what you put out online years ago. I'd love to see further reflections in the future, your rambles are quite captivating :)
Hi, I’ve never seen your channel before but I’m a nonbinary AFAB person trying to figure out how I want to transition and your video brings me a lot of comfort in what’s honestly kinda scary. I’ve felt very lost since as you said with trans people it’s like a path and you follow it and I’ve felt like that but there isn’t a path for me to take. I’ve debated going on T and you making this video is really great and I really appreciate it.
this honestly kinda inspired me as a transmasc pre everything nonbinary person :) the thought of not having to do it forever .. bc its honestly the only worry for me, balding... thanks kovu :) will totally mention this in my next therapy session :D
Hi Sweetie! What a great video! I love seeing your face! I have a question. Has your family found another dog? Love you so very much and you are always my boy! xoxoxo
