Through this channel I hope to educate, validate, empower and support those of you who have experienced narcissistic abuse in your childhood, as well as in relationships. I am also dedicated to teaching self-compassion to those of you living with the effects of an inner critic. As well as being a qualified Cognitive Behavioural Life coach (British Psychological Society approved), I am also passionate about sharing my knowledge on Complex PTSD, as a survivor of narcissistic abuse myself. Additionally, I have training in Inner child healing & therapeutic art life coaching and counselling.
I am currently taking on new clients, so please drop me an email at courageisallyouneed@gmail.com
****My new course: 'Healing from narcissistic abuse', my ebook 'Dealing with CPTSD triggers in relationships' and my Assertiveness PDF course are on my website at:
Thank you for these helpful videos! I would like to share that ever since emojis were invented, I notice that the narcissistic people in my life, now only family that I limit contact with, will only respond with the emojis. My NPD father is the worst with this! I will send him a birthday text and he responds with a thumbs up or a hand clap emoji. There’s no emotional response! He also loves to send me pictures of himself and his friends or vacation spots and tries to get me to react. At first I didn’t pick up on it so I would send a nice text back on how fun and great but he would then respond back with an emoji. It’s awful and still hurts me. I now only respond with an emoji back and never initiate conversation anymore. I’m almost 40 and I still have difficulty accepting that this is how my father is! I’ve done so much work around healing from growing up with my borderline mother who my father left and I stayed to take care until she passed but I never saw the reality about my father until a few years ago. I’m realizing this could be life long healing work for me. Thank you again for your helpful videos!
Thank you for this video. My mother has been "dying" for more than 30 years LOL! It's amazing how she has managed to create a circle of suppliers/hostages around her who try to guiltrip or shame me by calling me a bad daughter. I tell them: You will all die before her. LOL.
Mine is like ultra covert slash long game slash I'm not sure lmfao. Somehow put into the parent role super young along with super narc grandparents and uncle. While my grandfather coming too find out was quite possibly the local cocaine kingpin cop. With crooked buddies too bother me. And basically every corrupt thing that could happen has.all ive ever wanted to do is save the planet 😂. At least try.
I have been no contact with my mother for almost two years now, mostly because she thinks that, because I am her child, I am not deserving of any respect from her. I am 55. She still texts me from time to time to tell me how childish and immature I am. Today she texted that, if I thought I was going to show up at her funeral acting like the devoted, caring, loving daughter I would want everyone to think I was, that I should "Think again, dear." Yes. I've been disinvited from my own Mother's funeral, because she thinks my no contact is, as she puts it, "pouting like a five year old"... This is really rattling, but I'm doing my level best to stay on track with being well for myself... Thanks for this video, Athina. Your timing is perfect. ❤
Sadly, as always, she is projecting her immature '3 year old' thoughts onto you because she isn't getting what she wants. This is so painful for you and well done despite this for still moving forward and putting yourself first. Take care. Much love!
This abuse can heighten when the daughter is in that 18 - 25 year old age range. The narc mother burns with envy seeing her daughter in the bloom of her peak “physical attraction” - she can’t stand it when guys check out the daughter but not her, for the first time in her life she’s realizing that she’s not the object of people’s desire. I know this sounds politically incorrect but let’s face it, much of human nature is driven by primal instincts and the shadow self, especially when it comes to narc parents. Narc fathers also envy their sons in that same age range for the same reason. Especially if they are getting a lot of attention from girls. The narc father is reminded of all the girls he didn’t have the courage to ask out, so watching his son enjoy an active dating life burns him with rage. He can’t stand the fact that he’ll never get to have that experience.
My mom would embarrass me infront of my family members so she could degrade me. Also I could never tell her anything confidential as she would tell everyone. She would use it against me later. Sometimes she would make up things about me to disparage me.
I found lately, narcissism is not a mental health diagnosis; it is a diagnosis of a group of people who are cowards and are *unwilling* to look at themselves. You can call it an illness but at the end of the day, it is a category of people who choose to abuse people and choose not to look at themselves. The pay back is coming to all of them. They choose this way of alienating all in their lives. It is not a sickness. It a choice of cowards.
Don't let her. Caryl McBride Will I ever be enough? Guide for daughters of narcisstic mothers. Be your own mother. Give yourself the mothering you needed. You got from your mother abuse, not mothering. No protect yourself internally from abusers by talking to yourself like a good mother would. She would not let anybody abuse you.
@@RippleDrop. - Thank you. There is your unconscious. And it has as much control as anything. I’m reading Incognito by David Eagleman. A friend gave it to me. Mom hated me, never hugged me once, blamed me for all her problems- even before I was born. I can go on. A lot of it was preverbal.
I didn’t know my father growing up. So naturally my mother found all her worth in me. She eventually remarried and had 4 other kids. I was always her whole world. But I began to realize how narcissistic she was if I didn’t make her feel so loved. If I didn’t tell her how wonderful she was. She never apologized ever to me growing up and constantly gaslights me. I’m now married with two kids and we don’t talk at all because she refuses to change and would rather not speak to me than apologize for things like going through my phone and looking at texts between my wife and I. Anytime I call her out on something nicely and respectfully she gets emotional, cries, and twists the story to fit her narrative. My wife and I have unfortunately come to the conclusion that it’s time to move on. It so hard to mentally get her out of my head. But I’m convinced that it’s best to go on in life without her.
I have 3 diagnosed autistic children and my youngest is awaiting an ADHD and Dyslexia assessment. I'm genuinely worried that anyone would think this is due to wanting attention or sympathy when in reality, their diagnosis has opened up access to help for them in education. I see many similar traits of Autism in myself (especially ones my Daughter shows) and I am awaiting assessment myself. Im worried that Neurodiversity can look like Narcissism
Sadly neurodiversity can be mistaken for narcissism sometimes..but once you get your diagnosis for autism, it will be okay! I wish you and your family all the best!
i have all the traits and they are pretty severe but sometimes i can make decisions if i have the ok from someone else or if its something i thing that i need so i have to make the decision but its impossible for me to leave alone. even when i make desicions i need someone to hear about it. or i will not.
My schizophrenic (diagnosed at 65) and narcissistic mother had a stroke 2 years ago and all of her dysfunctions are gone, she is in a nursing home now. My (55yr old) brother has somehow become the focal point of the narcissistic family and loved text bombing arguments about news stories and politics. I had to tell him to leave us alone after he sent his girlfriend to text my husband to destroy our marriage. I’ve gone full no contact with him last week, and the funniest part of all is it made me cherish the decision I made in 2003 to move 900 miles (1500km) away and settle. It’s peaceful away from mine and my husband’s toxic families😊
You described my mum very well. The difference for my mother is that she supports my education, because she cares a lot about her image and about my image as well. But because of our last fight I will most likely start to support my education financially by myself.
You’re sensitive because you’re looking for the love you never had as a child. Conversely you don’t think you deserve love because you could never receive it no matter what you did as a child. I never heard of narcissists until a few years ago. Turns out I was surrounded by them. They ruined my life; or more accurately I ruined my own life. I really need some help and I don’t know what to do. I had run as far away as I could. But, didn’t understand the psychology. I’m old now and can’t think my way out anymore. Help!
Wow! It’s like you spoke my mind in this video. 1000% nailed everything on the head EXACTLY. Wow. Impressive. Thanks for giving me the confirmation I was looking for.
I've always wondered what to do when someone asks me very personal questions that are none of their business. "None of your business" seems to harsh. If it were a prospective employer, I'd get the urge to be polite and just answer the question. I never really know what to do about people like that.
If someone crosses a boundary, it's important to politely state this ' I find your question uncomfortable or inappropriate'. Easier said than done, but good to practice!
I was gas lit so much I didn't know which way to go, I was always unsure about what to say, I never knew what to do because my narcisstic mother always had something negative to say about everything I did but it was said in such a subtle way and was always putting doubt in my head which is the gaslighting. I remember as a child whenever I would be happy about something she hated it and would have a huge scowl on her face. I have healed from all of this now and I keep my distance from her physically, emotionally, I don't call her or text her and I've never been happier❤
Good thing was that shortly after my narcissistic mother copying my hairstyle and calling me "whore" and "cunt", SHE WAS DIAGNOSED CANCER and had to go through a lengthy chemo-therapy!!!! You don't know how much I love this karma!
Thank you so much for such an insightful video. I love what you said about highly sensitive people being able to enjoy life at a heightened level. I think it's true.
I grew up in an extremely neglectful environment. My mother left my dad when I was 6, I had moved three times until I was 12. My mother was very often just unavailable for weeks at a time. Not because she worked, but because she would go on benders and sit around in bed feeling bad for herself. She usually exploited other men and family members for money At 16 she declared in the car one day that she, “figured out what was wrong with me”, and said I have Asperger’s. To be honest this label was extremely hurtful, and really made me question my identity. I already had trouble socializing because of her negligence and the isolation created from her victimization that I only now understand She took me to a psychiatric office for evaluation. I was diagnosed with dysthymia, mild chronic depression. The assessor noted that while traits of restricted behavior and limited social interaction was present, there was not enough evidence to warrant a diagnosis My mother turned to the family and told everyone I had “borderline Asperger’s” and maintained this narrative. My sister told my entire group of friends who proceeded to mock me for it and shame me whenever I expressed myself The consequences of that were extremely damaging. I have had to fight to convince the family that i do not have this disability despite having the original evaluation paper Now, at 31 years old, my mother deflects blame to my grandmother. Saying it was her idea in the first place Deep down I’ve always carried this shame. At 31 years old I’m understanding now what it has cost me and I feel disgusted, and also validated for these feelings I’ve had for so long
This is so hard to admit to oneself. She couldn't stand me when I was a small kid but she really hated me as I started growing into a young girl. She sabotaged me in every way possible. Truth hurts. When you grow up like that, you blind yourself and try to justify your parents' behaviour in any way possible. Because in a way it is easier to accept that you are "faulty" or deranged or just plain bad than that you were unloved by your first "gods" aka your parents. This is so hard. It hits so hard.
