@Skiink_X I do sympathise, it’s a horrible condition that follows around like a shadow. My vertigo has gone, but I still get bouts of DPDR. I find if I acknowledge that it’s happening, then when I’m ‘better’ I have to analyse what triggered it. Are you able to express your emotions through creativity?

Broadlander, thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. Knowing you’re there rooting for me to get better over RU-vid means so much to me. There are some folk in my daily life that never care to ask how I am. It feels stifling. I may not have the confidence to get out and do more cooking videos right now, but do you think there’s value in me making mental health videos of the things I’ve come across in nature on my walks? With an artsy twist? I know it does help me having a creative outlet, and I quite like the idea of being experimental. It just won’t be like content I’ve made in the past. Just typing this, and I already know what my answer is! Thank you again, best wishes.

Around that time, I was watching true crime podcasts so I could understand perpetrators and their techniques to arm myself with information; after a short period of time I couldn’t listen to them anymore because it was making me even more hypervigilant, regressing from safety and stabilisation.

Unfortunately, the trainee counsellor who worked with me taught me to ignore my intuition because I’m being triggered by traumatic events in the past. I spent almost 2 years with her and it totally screwed with my brain when I needed help at the most significant period in my life.

It was a great lunch indeed! I'm a little awestruck that you've kindly commented. Your videos are so incredibly powerful in demonstrating body language and boundaries, which is a skill mostly overlooked when recovering from trauma. To me, it appears horses are not too dissimilar to humans. I've always been frightened of horses, but you've taught me so much.

Hi Flamin Guo, thank you for your message. Gosh that must’ve been startling to experience. I can hear how much you care for her. I think it’s human nature to think ‘should’ve done this/that’ in the moment. I’m not a medical professional, and I don’t wish to say anything misleading, but I would offer to say patience during recovery helps. I really hope your wife will get through the fog, and I send you both my good wishes.

@@trauma2wellness if you don’t mind it would be rather helpful if you can provide me with a perspective of your recovery. As I understand this varies from case to case some a few days, other a few weeks to months and some unfortunately would no longer recover. I just want to know if your recovery was sudden and instantaneous like how it all started and began with my wife. I do understand that something had already began underneath the human psyche before it manifested acutely. But any kind of direction or guidance based on your personal experience would help. Seemingly she is improving from day to day by that i mean she has more and more appetite, can walk a bit farther and longer, conversation has been more focused and congruent compared to the past few days. And she can stay awake longer now. But it still seems there is a veil to the real person as the eyes is still under hypnosis or should i say half awake state. I hope we can get through this together and i could be given a second chance to make it up to her what i lacked as a husband in the past decade.

Hi @@flaminguo, my channel focuses on vlogging my recovery journey from trauma (multiple abuse). I don't have 'answers' at the moment to share with you, as I'm figuring this all out for myself at the moment. For example, I thought I was doing well but then I was triggered a few weeks back and slid into the worst dissociative episode I've experienced which lasted about 6 weeks. For me, this is pivotal, as it's a whole new learning path going forward. If I wasn't vlogging about my experiences since last year, I would forget it, and the cycle repeats, which is exactly what's been happening for 5 decades. From the information you've kindly shared, I think the first thing would be for your wife to get checked out by a doctor just to rule out some conditions (e.g. a stroke, diabetes, heart problems etc), then for her to seek counselling support that enables her to open up - which she may, or may not, wish to share with you, as hard as that sounds. All the best.

Thank you for asking; I’m all over the place at the moment. I was doing well, then all of a sudden it’s not been going well. I do know that feeling you describe. I call it ‘spongy’, and describe it in the previous vlog to this one. It’s like the eyes are taking in information, passing it to the brain, but the brain has an ‘out of office’ auto-reply. How long have you had the symptoms for? Hopefully it will work itself out. Everyone is different, but I think it’s best to practice patience, as feeling anxious may fuel it longer. I think!

@@trauma2wellness you tried some vrt/ gaze stabilization exercises?

@@user-wt7zy7ht5c apologies for not replying sooner; I'm struggling with my mental health at the moment. I recall doing some of those exercises in 2021, and it didn't help at all. I'd previously had vertigo before (doc diagnosed it as bppv). Looking back, it was all trauma-related symptoms but I didn't join the dots to realise. No amount of vertigo exercises helped me. I've had one mild vertigo attack since that video and it was completely stress-related (stemming from my trauma). Everyday I'm learning something new about my ongoing trauma conditions. My new understanding is to have compassion for all the parts of myself.

Hi Zanian, thanks for your comment and bringing this to my attention. Unfortunately this is my body's way of signalling a trauma response to a stressful situation. I've been tracking my symptoms for about 8 months now (and doing the vlogs for 5 months) which has been incredibly enlightening. In the next episode ('VLOG#16') I spoke how my symptoms just vanished as I edited the simulation in the video above. It was the most bizarre experience. I'm sorry to hear you suffer from similar. I sincerely hope you find a way of getting better.

@@trauma2wellness thank you so much. ❤️

Hi @ccvttc! Gosh that's fascinating that you also notice feeling better after editing videos. I thought it was fluke what happened to me. It would be fascinating if we've discovered this phenomena that the medical profession aren't aware of! Thank you for your kind wishes. I was actually bullied at work a few days ago, but rather than hiding, I actually grew stronger and confronted the bully! Even better, it didn't bring on dp/dr. I learn something new everyday. I also hope you can overcome things too. Best wishes.

@@trauma2wellness hey :) haha, yes,it would be really fascinating if we had discovered something new and important. was it also the case for you that you could no longer identify with yourself (your behavior, body, etc.) and saw yourself like from the outside the whole time? is it now really completely and permanently gone since you have made your videos? that would be really impressive! it's not completely gone for me, but consistently much better since my videos! Apparently I was able to identify with myself again on some level. i am so happy for you that this whole process seems to enable other great things in you! best wishes back to you :)

@@ccvttc I think I've experienced this my whole life, in all sorts of different ways, but only recently - through counselling - I realised that it's not 'normal'. Apparently I'd developed all sorts of coping strategies (as a result of an abusive childhood upbringing), so I'd masked and/or ignored the symptoms. I didn't realise what I had been through was abusive, until I had counselling, and reflecting back, it makes so much sense. It's only from doing these vlogs where I'm talking about my week that I made the connection. I guess it's because I'm actively being 'present' doing a vlog. If that makes sense? I can't say if I'm cured, because I can't predict the future. But the way the vertigo just lifted when I edited that simulation was ... unreal! The unreal became reality! I would say my life is like the scene in Interview with the Vampire (1994) when Lestat tells Louis to look with his vampire eyes; everything looks different.

Also, I remember reading that dp/dr is like watching your life in a movie - but that didn't make sense to me. However, I distinctly remember a few years ago going food shopping and reached out to grab some vegetables, and I looked at my hands like they were someone else's. So it was more like I was 'looking through a lens'. I have no idea what was happening in my life at the time, again, I've just blanked everything out. My poor brain 😞. I'm determined to look after it better now. Have a fab weekend! All the best!

@@trauma2wellness Hi :) Sorry for not responding, i had so much to do. How are you doing? I had a weird experience with my videos. At first it seemed sooo helpful but after a while, after making more and more videos, the positive effect went away and the DP got worse again. As if I had seen myself too much from the outside through the video editing and would therefore continue to see myself from the outside even if I don't edit videos. I hope you understand what I mean.. so weird. and frustrating. I stopped making videos a few days ago and the DP got better, so .. i think video-editing is not the cure after all - at least not for me, unfortunately. But I'm very interested in how it turned out for you! And i hope you had a nice christmas :)