Hi everyone! My name is Geoffrey and I specialize in working with men to rebuild their relationships from the ground up.
No fluff, no cheesy advice or theory that doesn't actually work in real life -- This channel is designed to give you the best advice you can get in the world of relationships that have been proven to work on hundreds of relationships.
I don't agree to keep the door open. For a little yes. But not a long time. If the door is always open there is no need for her to come back. You have to do things and keep busy so she has time to feel what is he doing. Is it another woman?
Thankyou . I can relate to jason storie here . Its so inspiring for me to listen to atm. Wrking om my listening skills towards her n undrstanding the way she is fir me is something to work towards
The statistics shows that men initiate Marriage and women initiate Divorce 😢 There has to be some truth what this guy is saying. Many say the woman wants things their way and that may not be necessarily true. Women want to be emotionally connected to their spouse. However, some men are emotionally unavailable to understand the needs of a relationship outside of the norm. The words have to at least align with the actions that are being produced otherwise it causes confusion. Many don’t really put in the effort to water the marriage to make it grow. They become lazy lovers who sell false promises. Then when the woman continue to address things it’s not her nagging she is begging to bond with you in a different level. It’s beyond the provider, supporter, breadwinner mindset. We are partners it’s a team
I find this hard to agree with and follow. My wife left me after 14 years and gave me nothing but clichés, I love you but I'm not in love with you, it's not you its me, I've changed. I had to leave my family home and three kids to move into my mam and dad's home who both have cancer, my kids stay here 50% of the time but it's such a difficult living arrangement. I'd been out a week and she had the entire family home redecorated, wall paper stripped, now appliances, wardrobes the lot. She's right she's changed and isn't the woman I once knew and loved. I've decided to let her come to me, but when I do I keep it strictly about the kids even when she goes off topic, I don't see why I should be acting excited to see her when she's ruined my life and didn't even have a genuine reason for doing so. The no contact rule helps me move forward and get over her and if she decides she's made a mistake it's her job to come back. Christ if we even do txt along these lines we get about three txts in and she's clamps me down, you then spend the rest of the day miserable and feeling like a mug
Hey Geoffrey, I'm really loving your content and it really makes me realise what I can do. I admit I am clearly not untethered yet but I am in the process of becoming untethered. Yet I find it very difficult to become untethered especially in my relationship that is falling apart, and I feel like even if I try to do the right things that do come from my heart of opting for what is from love and not from anger, my partner doesn't seem to receive any of the good that I am trying to do differently and better. He has completely shut down and slipping away from me. I remember in your free guide about how to create safety, even if I do it, my partner doesn't want to talk even weeks after a negative event happened and we just keep on sweeping issues under the carpet because we are not able to discuss them. He completely shuts down and I can't reach him. I have tried my best to give him peace, create stability and safety that I haven't given before. But we also need to discuss issues that keep on collecting and undermining the relationship more, and I don't know how to do any of these changes alone without hearing his part, e.g. I can't regain my trust in him if he doesn't speak at all.
I thought the whole point of a boundary was that someone cannot cross it. Period. So at that point, why should we remain calm enough to ask questions as in, what’s the point of questions at this stage if a unbreakable boundary has been broken?
It feels like limited contact was the low hanging fruit on examples to demonstrate change. If someone blocked you and said leave them alone and your inner don’t overlap you have more limited options. I understand what I have to do. And where my past behaviors caused her to go into self-preservation. But if you don’t have an opportunity to get shut down it’s challenging to show you’re different.
Hormones are an excuse. Men also have hormones, but emotionally mature men don't let those dictate our behavior or the way we treat our wives. Women who use hormones as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for the contempt with which they treat their husband, are emotionally immature. The root cause is ingratitude. Women who withhold affection no longer value their husband or what he brings to the table. It's that simple. Bottom line: A man cannot make his wife happy; a woman's happiness depends on her taking responsibility for her own self awareness, her own feelings, her own actions. Women who blame their husbands for their unhappiness, short of physical abuse, are acting like children
Well I asked the right questions, she's been avoiding telling me the truth. I was told today that she no longer is in love with me. I didn't react I took it calmly and I asked her what made her feel this way. I'm currently a 1000 miles away. I'm in military training and it's hard to do this over the phone.
This is amzing. Ive been lost and struggling to get thru to my partner to open up positively. Our communication is non exsistent at times and even thou we hav seperated for a year now we intereact for the kids. I wwant us to work out but struggling to communcate and have healthy meaningfull.convos
Another great video. A couple takeaways for me on this one, y'all were talking about being a leader in the early part of the video and what it's like being a leader. The company I work for, employees fill out monthly surveys on how the leadership is doing. And they take it to heart and make a great place to work. Second you were talking about Want vs Need...that's another good way to think of being untethered. YES, you WANT the outcome BUT you NEED to focus on the pillars, on safety first.
hey Geoff I got a question about soc. when you go in to soc do you write what you feeling and do you write your thoughts down. or you just do soc all in your head. before shifting the negative feelings in to positive ones.
What do you do when she wants no contact and is moving on with someone else? I’m aware to keep focusing and growing in ways that I can control, but where do I draw the lines with respecting what she wants which is zero contact, versus creating opportunities for myself? I understand planting seeds but also aren’t I inadvertently destroying safety and not listening to what she wants if I reach out ? Should I learn to enjoy the process of her wanting a different relationship because I’m not yet of high enough value and that would be fair to her?
Have you watched my videos on no contact & being blocked? Have you seen my interviews on these too? (e.g. Michael, Eve, Elisa, Ian, etc...) What do they do?
Yes it seems your clients focus on the internal shifts and growing, which is understandable. I’m still learning these things every day or at least trying to. But she says she’s moved on. I don’t want her to feel im forcing her out of relationship/limerance against her will by forcing contact. I’m not doubting I can still grow more! I’m not understanding what should I do if she actually has found the right qualities with someone else? I feel I’m being very empathetic about what she wants and that seems to be partially the basis to emotional safety. It feels almost paradoxical to even try to create contact. Almost Like I’m a creep. But it’s only because I love her. Am I too tethered? I’m still not understanding the nuance to creating contact when I should want her to be happy. She seems happier with me out of her life. Although I am changing daily, I just don’t really understand what to do when she doesn’t even want to resist me anymore, just stay far away. How can I even create a cycle to change this ? Maybe you can provide me with a little help or clarity. Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe I should just watch the videos over again until I find answers
@@narciacammon You have not mastered the frameworks, and you are confused that you don’t know how to use it properly and find the right angles & how? How long do you think my best clients take to master the frameworks, and under close supervision of the coaches and other members?
Yes I understand. I can say I at least have a good grasp on the frameworks. Which might put me a cut above the average. But it’s probably as you say, I need to be 10x before partner can even consider coming back. Why leave the commitment you have for something that might be slightly better ? The refrigerator analogy. I think it’s similar to what you describe about grading my own homework. Even the best of the best need to be kept on track Do you think I’m at the point where I should stop trying to create contact and live with the pain and focus on growth? I’ll keep using the free tools but hopefully I can get in when I’m able. Thanks.
@@narciacammon Are you really in a position where you can tell where you are on the curve without seeing the playing field? Are we really in a position to tell you what you can/cannot do without understanding your true skill in frameworks?
She told me she'll bounce back 😩 then she said she loves me 🥺 im really confused with the term "bounce back" does this mean shes going to move on or come back and mend our relationship
Maybe this is a super insensitive take but I have always assumed that the act of sex itself is generally immensely satisfying, for men and women. The honeymoon phase,vacations, or numerous other random times my wife seems to enjoy it more than I ever could. Yet there are other times where she seems bothered or extremely uncomfortable. It’s so sad to think that the capacity to want and enjoy great sex lies within all woman but all the prerequisites have to be met before they can.
lol it all clicks 6 months later. I finally have the right why, life has been bliss, work and friends, I am contend and happy, she still wants to sign but wants to rebuild our trust and start square one. We will see if I still want it down the line. Thanks G
