"It takes courage to live with bipolar disorder. Bipolar gives me courage." Xanthe Wyse.
Memoir: "Bipolar Courage: are you sure you're not autistic?" Semiautobiographical novel: "Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice". Both books focus on relationships with psychiatric disorders/disabilities. Both are on Amazon & major ebook distributors.
Current diagnoses ranked in order of impairment: mental injury of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); bipolar 1 disorder; mild social anxiety disorder; PDD-NOS (autism spectrum features).
Xanthe chose to highlight the most stigmatised diagnosis with her username. She shares ways she manages.
Videos were recorded 2017 - 2024. Bipolar Courage® is a registered trademark.
Xanthe's views from her lived experience and research are no substitute for a clinician's advice (psychiatrist, psychologist); yet her clinicians say she is very insightful.
😂 😂 thank you for making my day. The way you read that silly comment was so funny. Thank you. Pay no mind to the haters. Hurt people, hurt people but love heals. Wishing that by the time you read this, you will feel better. We appreciate you 🙏🏾
@@climateactionsnow8695 Thank you for your supportive feedback. I have been reading some trolling comments out in a dramatised way, recently. Which is kind of funny I guess, as I usually have a flat affect. Thinking of compiling some encouraging comments into a blog post. Will be ruthless about blocking triggering trolling comments going forward.
@BipolarCourage good on you! We have the power to literally block the negative. Use it. Protect your light. You matter in ways beyond comprehension. Looking forward to more reflective, honest and educational content. Keep shinning.
Just found your channel. Absolutely love it. You're a great personality to watch. Keep up the great work, it's been incredibly helpful for me. Take care.
An interesting watch. I hate the culture of internet diagnosis, bandwagon jumping of the disability wannabes! Its a rubbish club to be in. I have spina bifida and a separate SCI, and depression.
@@liamh5127 Thank you. I actually avoid calling myself "disabled" because of the group identity politics nonsense. Will be uploading a video today about impairment vs disability.
…and if you did advocate or do whatever it is they are calling you out on, they’d find something to complain about that too. 🙄 You can’t win for losing and you sure can’t please everyone. Just keep doing you.
@@TheMentallyIncompetentArtist exactly. If I did go back to calling myself "autistic", they would still ostracise me for disagreeing with some aspects of what the "community" has decided is doctrine.
@@BipolarCourage I got into some arguments with the NDM on twitter a few days ago, apparently getting aspergers associated with 'nazi' was not enough, they are now trying it with autism as well
"Psycopath" they don't even know the meaning of the word 😂. I've had friends with OCD and Bipolar some of the most interesting people in the world. Oh and im not dead 😮
You made a very good point that it can be too simplistic to say that "someone is either autistic or they are not". There are ambiguities and while some people are very clearly autistic (or have some other condition) and others are not there is a group whose status is less clear and who might be diagnosed by some clinicians and not by others. I liken it to an exam or test. For the sake of clarity we say that some people have passed a test and others have not; however all their marks are on a continuum. Some people pass unquestionably, others clearly do not but there are those who might pass or fail with some examiners and not with others. Categories are not so clear cut. I understand where these ideas came from - a desire to move away from dismissive responses like "everyone's a bit autistic" or "everyone has those problems / issues" - but it doesn't help to say that the matter is clear-cut..
@@gmlpc7132 also there is overlap with diagnoses. My childhood mutism etc could be attributed to either social anxiety disorder autism spectrum features. There is also inconsistencies between clinicians, assessors & countries. I have seen assessors who aren't clinicians give out pseudo diagnoses. By that, I mean they avoid terms like diagnosis & disorder, to fit their "neuroaffirmative" ideology. Yet still charge stacks or money or request a "donation" (likely a tax dodge). I am considered subthreshold in New Zealand to ASD diagnosis yet still recognised as having clinicially significant features since childhood. Yet seen plenty of people online in US & UK claiming to be diagnosed, who quietly admit they didn't fully meet criteria or they had nothing to notice in childhood or for decades. So say they must have masked without realising it to "pass as neurotypical". I also scored higher in tests than some people who said diagnosed. Regardless, my autism features are considered mild (as is my social anxiety disorder these days). My impairment is considered to be mainly from a mental injury of PTSD tangled with a mood disorder. From trauma. Of course, those who make "autistic" into identity get mad about words like "mild" or "severe".
Yes, a very fine line,I tell my self , there’s a light at the end of the tunnel,years of therapy, constantly fighting to stay in control, today, I got out the door and was walking the dogs at 4:30AM, before work, at about 9:00 AM I was having an amazingly wonderful day, filled with peace and happiness, not manic , it’s possible to be in control and be happy, for me, it’s taken a lot of hard work and sacrifice in a way, I don’t give in to it, i want to give in to it, but I don’t, I won’t take the bait, I play the guitar , I’m an artist and a musician,that’s my escape from it ,music is my escape , good luck to you, I hope you will be okay, there will be love , peace happiness and fun days ahead…you seem like an artist, that’s why I mentioned the super power thing, look at it as a gift, make peace, with it, make art with it!
💞💪🏼🧡I really really appreciate your take on things. Your "authenticity" (I know, it's a treacherously overused phrase nowadays, & this is a real shame)! And you've a terrific sense of humour! You have realife on the ground provenance, which in my book, makes you very listenable & trustworthy.
@@keymeter1917 Yes, understand, as the types I refer to like to use the phrase "authentic self" for their performance of "unmasking". Although authenticity & creativity are aspects of me. Just unfortunate those words are spoiled by influencers saying they are "creators" trying to unmask their "authentic self" (promoting fake it until you make it). Appreciate the genuine feedback.
You worth so much ofcource. Excess stress can affect everyone. Female body is so sensitive and needs extra care, stretching, exercise, love, cuddles, sex etc.
Xanthe, Thank you for showing us what bipolar disorder can look like and describing it. I have a former loved one who was recently diagnosed and I am struggling understanding what is going on and why he is behaving the way he does. This has helped me understand better. He still calls me evil, and will never want me around again, but now I understand better whaat is going on due to your videos. Thank you. I’m not evil, and he isn’t either- I wish I could be more helpful to him.
@@RamenNudles4u glad it is helpful, even though I don't like recording video when vulnerable. I tend to self-isolate. Have been guilty of blurting out hurtful words at times (tends to be a combination of triggered PTSD plus mood episode).
@@BipolarCourage I can see how that would be a difficult combination to cope with. You’re doing amazing things. You are valuable, and again. It really helped me step outside of my own hurt and see the situation from a different perspective. I’m holding you in my thoughts ❤️
This is the kind of dangerous behavior people with this can end up doing. Yes she had safety glasses, but that broken glass could have cut her seriously and ended up in a hospital for treatment.
I hope you'll feel better soon. People have no right telling you that stuff. Been there, just incredibly happy I got out of that state. I hope you'll be able to say the exact thing soon.
Depression is so isolating, no-one understands how some days you can function fairly normally and others you can only sleep. You are not lazy, you are sick! I'm so sorry that you have to go through this ❤
Xanthe thank you for uploading. I’m sorry to hear about your low mood. I myself am struggling with this after experiencing psychosis. Your channel is very helpful for someone like me so I hope you keep it up. Much love ❤
@@BipolarCourage i’m sure that’s what i’m experiencing. there is some distortion in my reality but I pull myself out of it. it’s like a maladaptive day dreaming. I feel like i’m in a different place with different people. I talk out the thoughts, full blown conversations. I have these episodes on a daily basis.
@@user-sy4ck7gi6y it was like I was in a trance. Including smashing up the stuff. Like aware but on a different level. Psychiatrist asked me if I was in a trance. It was dissociation. More extreme dissociation & I can't hear, see, move. It's different to psychosis. The only hallucinations really were sleep ones when waking up. They were trauma related to me. Delusions were not full-blown but were definitely fed by others. So a lot of anxiety.
@@BipolarCourage can you suppress it around people? or when you need to do something like driving ? or do you find it surfaces a little? i find it hard to stay seated in that state. so if im around people (which i rarely am as j isolate) i fidget in my seat. i think i have got bipolar, its worsened because i am going through perimenopause
@@elisamasousa3080 I recorded it when in denial of bipolar diagnosis & processing trauma stuff creatively. Unfortunately things spun out of control (not filmed).
What does not show in this video is how lonely this illness makes us. Most people try a bit to put up with the disease , but eventually everyone walks away.
@@UlyssesZopol It's a weird thing where people are drawn to me when I have moderately elevated mood. Feed off my energy. Then reject me when things are clearly too much to handle. I do have a few friends since childhood who accept me. Rarely see my friends though.
@@BipolarCourage Nobody, except my nuclear family, knows that I live with bipolar disorder, some friends know that I have "recurring depression" but all else stays hidden. That said, I haven't had a real manic episode in a long time, due to taking lithium. And yet, all the shame, all the hiding when I am in a mixed state (like these days), all the exhaustion when I am depressed, and all the stupid things I have done and wrong decisions I have taken all this heavy burden stays with me and me only.
@@BipolarCourage Oh, I was Buddha, I was Jesus, I had found the world formula, I was chased not only by the CIA , but by the NSA too! ... but after being locked up and fixated for that the first time, I managed to keep my mouth shut during the other manic episodes. But I am growing really tired of living this way. This disorder has taken everything from me, and now that I am approaching sixty it only gets worse...
Hello. How deeply have you looked into your PTSD? Have you had memories resurfacing? It seems to me that you focus too much on bipolar and autism when trauma may be more important?
@@Sofia_no_secrets PTSD is actually my main diagnosis. Been having treatment with a clinical psychologist for 5 years. Bipolar disorder type 1 is actually my second most impairing diagnosis. Clinicians say in my case, can still come under trauma. My autism features are considered mild. More prominent in childhood.
Bipolar patients experience so much rejection. I hope this video shows people how terrifying this illness can be for bipolar patients. Thanks for posting it.
@@c.brownell8618 My daughter suffers from bipolar disorder. She is herself a clinical psychologist. But she becomes helpless when episodes occur. You know everything but can do nothing.
There are definitely people who could work, and should work, but do not. But, there are people who require assistance where they struggle to find employment or have limited capacities due to physical, mental or intellectual conditions. A friend of mine is wheelchair-bound via spina bifida at birth, and he struggles to find anywhere to work. Some of this is his own doing, as he isn't motivated to study to specialized qualifications where his disability wouldn't be a workplace liability or disqualifier. But, even if he had a qualification, he would face discrimination because from a workplace perspective, he's more complex to hire and house in a workplace environment. My own experience, I am on supported living. I have been on that for a minute, for Crohns and a few mental health related conditions (Bipolar/Cyclothymia w/anxiety panic etc.), but I'm turning to trades to change my situation around as best as possible, so I get it from both perspectives. It's not an easy fix either way. Our economy would be better if everyone could/did work, but it's not black/white either way
@@loganmcauslin9430 appreciate the nuance. I do work part-time with accommodations but it's not easy. I have been targeted for bullying, it's hard to find something suitable in the first place. I do a low paid job which has nothing to do with the qualifications I earned in my 20s. I worked fulltime, with difficulty, I my 20s. Things worsened for me since then. I have come across people who could work but don't. Used to know someone who admitted to deliberately blowing interviews because she wanted to watch cricket all day rather than work. The discrimination carries over to finding somewhere to live. It's hard enough to find a room to rent in the first place. Then knocked back as as soon as find out I an on WINZ. I guess I don't look like the stereotype of a beneficiary.
@BipolarCourage It's probably the assumption that if you look clean and / or presentable, you're at least on the living wage. Compared to the stereotype of the older and rougher looking person who smokes and drinks and has (insert stereotype problem here) kind of lifestyle. Either way, we do what we can
Just letting you know what is currently happening, people who are on the Supported Living Payment are calling out the changes made to the Supported Living Payment in terms of obligations which now include the traffic lights, prepare for work, take part in work ability assessments and take part in services with service providers, what happened was Russell Brown noticed that what was applied to the Jobseeker Payment was also done to the Supported Living Payment and began to raise the alarm
My interpretation from the WINZ website is that "some" people will indeed be affected. Note that those on supported living payments are allowed to work part-time, below thresholds.
@@ErichRaeder MSD have made a clarifying comment on their Facebook page, saying some people on SLP have an obligation to *prepare* for work. Linked to the same web page I did.
Why doesn’t the Grov reword it. Pm said we will made you go. Instead come to a seminar, have cuppa tea and get support. What he should have said. National did this before.
@@mummylilbear6088 i have seen some disability advocacy groups saying there is no worry about the change to the supported living payment, lately i have seen people like Huhana and etc call out the changes made to the supported living payments as well, i have noticed some disability advocacy groups want zero discussion in the changes made
