These are some of my thoughts on life, human development, psychotherapy, traumatic stress, etc. I put them out into the universe with the intention of reaching out to people who need help and want to help others grow in their ability to love and be loved.
PLEASE SHARE MY VIDEOS! You don't have to ask permission to use them in your own trainings, but I would love to know that you use them and how you use them so I can feel that the work is making a difference somehow.
I am a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, researcher in psychotherapy and epigenetics, and trainer in traumatic stress. I'm an Assistant Professor in Psychiatry and Director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City and work out of Mount Sinai Beth Israel.
It makes so much sense. You explained, very well, something that is difficult to explain. It seems to be something you know when you witness it in another person, or experience it for yourself.
I'm so grateful to have come across this person, at a time when I'm really trying to get to grips with a whole heap of accumulated trauma. His compassionate approach has made me realise what I most need is not to intellectually search for some master key to understand all my obstacles and behaviours, but recognition and compassion. Thank you!
@@JacobHamPhD I will look forward to reading it! I'm sure it will be an invaluable resource. And I'll also be taking up a notebook and writing my stories at the same time. I've come to see all the trauma not as something to be tucked away and hidden or solved and got over, but something that needs air and that can be harnessed in beautiful ways. I really connected with what you say about art and creativity too. Thank you for replying and happy writing!
school is so weird because one day you could be at a funeral mourning your father and the next day youre expected to be in class and perform the same as everyone else
This conversation makes me feel very agitated and very curious and hooked at the same time. The ending was quite difficult to watch too. I'm not sure why. It is as if I'm watching multiple versions of Grace in the room, each version kept interrupting each other and she rarely finished a thought... she seemed to have justified her feelings and thoughts with lots of unnecessary details. She tries to show that she's up for being vulnerable but then proceeded to not being vulnerable. I feel all kinds of agitation and also compassion watching this. Maybe this says more about me and it's really intriguing. Thank you both.
Thanks for bring art to science and thanks for sharing your work. Huge impact and very validating as I move through my healing journey. Love and health to you and yours.
I had a therapist tell me I was boring him, therefore I wasn't telling him the truth. I insisted I was. He doubled down. I never went back to him. I was a wreck the way he talked to me.
Two years ago I wouldn’t have understood most of this magical interview. But then I crossed paths with the most gifted therapist who is similar to Dr Ham in being instinctively led while highly trained. For the first time in my late forties I’ve begun to trust that somebody is on my team and really cares about me getting better. I worry very much for those who can’t afford therapy or stay stuck with the wrong therapist. But things are changing fast and I hope to see this change happen in my lifetime. Stephanie’s memoir is so affirming and Dr Ham is single handedly changing therapy as a profession.
Wait organizations are trying to be trauma informed? I’ve worked the last six years in a trauma generation and amplification organisation. The most toxic forms of masculinity, entitlement, invalidation etc etc. I’m leaving, wish me luck. Just the thought that this question exists out there, on how to make organisations trauma informed, makes me feel hopeful.
i love Dr Jacob.. as a cis gay man and human.. going to ur therapy sessions (even if im in indonesia right now)... is one of my delusional fantasies haha. thank you for being human, dr Jacob <3 i kinda 100% empathise with stephanie's case, but in my case im chinese indonesian haha. but similar trauma .. and frustrating trial-and-error attempts with trying to heal my heart and body and (soul) haha.
Thank you so much, Dr. Ham! I am going to use this as part of a webinar on trauma for the University of Hawai'i, along with "Trauma Informed Starts with You". I appreciate your work!
Dr. Ham is so introspective and kind I have a sweet therapist like him and who is vegan like me so he understands my dark pain over the millions of animals daily tortured every day 😞💚🙏 And his glasses are so shiny and clear; I can’t keep mine clear.
Its so true - it is a lot of bullshit & I came to this broadcast looking for guidance, and I am feeling more helpless because what I am hearing is there is no getting over this fucken pain I am in and crying over & over is not the life I want to live
The Dalai Lama Is smart but he eats animals so he can’t talk about peace when he’s contributing to the Holocaust invite animals and earth Mother Theresa was a fake too as she ate animals and abused the sisters in her order 💔🩸
I am listening to Stephanie’s audiobook and in it she shares some snippets from her sessions with Dr. Hem. He’s kind but not passive, he digs in Stephanie is an extraordinary writer. She writes about her boss at This American Life my favorite podcast how he continuously criticized her work and how she felt triggered and small from this while producing 80 percent of its’ shows. Made me wonder if this was Ira, don’t think it was? Thank you so much Stephanie and Dr. Ham I’m 60 am an ethical vegan, animal activist, my mother tortured me my entire life including turning my four children who all have children against me, and allowed her friends to sexually abuse me and laughed about it, I’ve never had real friends, am numbed out, I teach yoga and am studying tai chi to teach. I studied in my undergrad theater and literature in order to teach juvenile delinquents and prisoners. My last day in this terrible world that humans have created will be my best. I’m alive for my three stray dogs. 💚
My God but you have already lived a full life - four children, your dogs, yoga, degrees. Why not find a somatically trained therapist and reclaim your life? You’ve been a good person; now it’s time to feel good. I say this as somebody who’s been brought back from the brink myself. Sending ❤
I am listening to Stephanie’s audiobook and in it she shares the audio of some of the snippets from her sessions with Dr. Ham. He’s kind but not passive, he digs in 🙏
This video is so insigthful. I will be showing your video to special educators and administrators at the 45th Annual LRP's National Insititute on Legal Issues of Educating Individuals with Disabilities in May of 2024. Myself and a colleague will be presenting a session on Writing and Implementing Behavior-Based Goals in the Post-COVID-19 Era. Your message will support our premise that students have been through alot and the survival brain is over working at this time. Thanks for allowing us to share your wisdom.
You are a lovely person. Your voice is so calming and reassuring that this is a safe space. I believe you have tapped into how healing can really begin. It's all from the heart and the gut. When you talk about getting out of your head, or you're going back to your head. That strikes me as profound because I have thought that if i understand what happened in my past, I'll get better. Essentially overthinking everything all the time. What you have shown to me is the feelings need a safe space enable to sit with them, feel them and actually, honestly, release them. I have not been able to do that and that is a huge part of each day. A good therapist and a connection could allow this to happen. You have given me hope. Thank you.
@JacobHamPhD I am so happy you answered! I watched your interview with Forrest Hanson this morning and that was eye opening and truly inspiring how you've made your work into art. Can't really describe it because each piece is different and the approach is unique as each person or circumstance is unique. Well, actually you did describe it very well. I am looking forward to your book!
I cried like a baby, your video explains everything. It reminds me of when I was a child, because of poverty, my parents were always stressed and working all day. My parents often argued about my father being drunk. My mother is very unusual, sometimes gentle but sometimes angry. One time, I fell and cried but my mother did not come. Over time, I became more and more withdrawn and could not go to my mother when I was scared. I knew I wanted my mother but I was afraid of it at the same time. I always feel ashamed and hate myself when I think about how scared I am of my mother. I always feel like I'm abnormal. Thank you so much
Let me start by saying that my life's a mess. I've struggled for decades to make sense as to why it's been more difficult for me than it seemed to be for others in my social group. When I learned about my ADD, I thought, ah, here's my problem, so I learned all I could so I could overcome my "disability." Recently, I found that they know so much more about ADD/ADHD now than what I learned more than two decades ago! And even more recently, I learned that there were probably other factors that have caused different aspects of dysfunction that I've battled all my long life. This video is giving me more information and clarity as to the origins of some of my difficulties, such as an extreme trauma that happened many generations up my family tree: a family member was burned at the stake, accused of being a witch, but because she was pregnant, she wasn't killed along with the others accused, but had to wait until the birth of her child... my ancester. I have frequently imagined what emotional turmoil she went through. I, just today, was trying to find a psychiatrist who would take both Medicare and my military insurance when this video popped up in my feed! Talk about a ton of information I have been desiring and also needing so I could add it to my list of topics to discuss with a mental health specialist! I think this will help me tremendously in my effort to become the person I was supposed to be before, so much trauma negatively affected my life! Probably, Jacob Hamm and Rabbi Taub won't see my comment, but I'm incredibly grateful for the discussion they recorded on this video. Thank you from the depth of my heart!
You're so right about neglect. I was living like that and is something I cannot verbalize. I thaught it was because of early sexual abuse that I could not adress the neglect I was into.
How is it that Jacob can say "You're wrong. Let me correct that," in such a way that is received with acceptance and humility, and not defensiveness. Wow
lol. It doesn't always work out like that. But, what I hope is the answer is that people can tell that I come from a place of radical candor and earnestness. And, they can tell me when I'm wrong too.
I remember encountering the word "reification" in high school and it took me more than a decade to truly have a grasp of that in a lived sense. Jacob's frustration really gives credibility and honesty to his practice and avoiding the all-too intellectual seduction of western culture. I wonder how Jacob would teach or explain what it is to "reify" to young people, and hey why not throw in "phenomenology" as well.
This short video says a lot. As someone in survival mode I noticed my main motivation was the fear of failure whereas other students were naturally curious.
