King may've won through just burying Poe in flexes, but you gotta give Watsky all the credit in the world for his portrayal as Poe. It was exactly like how I imagine Poe to be like in real life.
It really feels like a battle between modern vs classical. Personally in this I think modern wins music wise in this, but lyrics wise, Mozart kicked Skrillex’s butt.
Nice Peter: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYYYYY!!! STEVEN KING!!! VERSUS... EDGAR! ALLAN! POEEEEE!!!!!!!!! BEGIN! Edgar Allan Poe: Once upon a midnight dreary, as I spit this weak and weary, I will choke this joker with a trochee till his cheeks are teary! (Ahh!) But y'all don't hear me! All should fear me! I'll forever be better; you'll never be near me. Your books are as eerie as Beverly Cleary! You're a faux Bram Stoker, so scram, the show's over! Your flow's so-so. Poe's poems pwn posers! (Graah!) I wrote them locked in a cave, while I sobbed in a rage. The Tell-Tale Heart beats soft in its grave while this jerk just beats off on a page! Stephen King: Oh, you want to talk shop, you gothed-out fop? Go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top! There's a melancholy alcoholic laughingstock In the King's house; now watch the Castle Rock! Pouty little poet with an opiate affliction! I'm a workaholic with a fiction addiction! I'm making dedicated readers shivery and jittery! Feel that Rage and Misery! You better start Running, Man! You're in deep poo, Poe! I'm a mad dog, fangs Shining; Cujo! Tommyknock you down till you can't Stand up! You're as soft as Po, the Kung Fu Panda! Racks on racks 'cause I pen fat stacks of frightening writing; have you seen the pile? I can even take a break from my routine style! Crank out a Shawshank or a Green Mile! Masque of the Red Death? Barely blood curdling. Pit and the Pendulum? Not even unnerving. Perving on your first cousin when she's thirteen years old? Now, that's disturbing! Edgar Allan Poe: Stephen, you pretend to do it, I've been really living through it: misery and poverty and family woes! I see through you like pantyhose, doing Chappelle and Simpsons cameos! (Ahh!) Even if you're gripping on a weapon, then you better get to stepping if you're messing with the horror lord! In a minute maybe I'mma hit him, cut him into itty bitty bits, and I'mma stick him in the floorboards! Stephen King: *sigh* Speaking of bored, you're the worst! Dropped out of school, but you can't drop a verse! I could have spent that time better. In eight bars, I can write a whole best-seller! I'm so prolific! This sickly goblin won't be bothering me! I'm on a clobbering spree, And I'll be smacking you with any of the big thick books in my big dick bibliography! See, I'm the author with the blood and gore lore galore that'll horrify a reader to the core! Fame? Money? Talent? Success? You'll always have less, nevermore!
Steven Spielberg: (0:00) Picture a child sitting next to a projector, Learning from your films to become a much better director. Now, picture a 3-billion-dollar dream machine Who can block bust all over your crop duster scene! Try to Duel with me, Alfred, you must be Psycho! I'll bring back JAWS and take a bite of your Lifeboat! I'm Always so on top of my game! I get the Vertigo! My jet's in The Terminal, waiting for me to Murder! ya. I rock the Academy and the DGA! You rock as many Oscars as that schlep Michael Bay! Next time you're filling up those jowls with three steaks and soufflé, Check the trades; see me Amblin' to my next big play! I produce cartoons and make games for all ages. You produce Jimmy Stewart making one of two faces! Maybe next time I visit, you'll be a bit more gracious! Now kiss my full moon and just bask in my greatness! Alfred Hitchcock: (0:50) That was a close encounter of the turd kind, But there won't be a pretty ending this time. Half your billions should go to John Williams! Now brace yourself as I reveal my brilliance! I'm the master…of suspense, so intense, No defense against Hitchcock once he presents! (Ahh!) My skill is enormous; orchestrate brilliant performance. You're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in Transformers! C'mon! Fish puppets and Muppets to stir the fears up! I squeeze screams out of chocolate syrup! I'm the best mamma-jamma ever stood behind the camera! Damage panderers and haunt you like the last Indiana! Quentin Tarantino: (1:20) Cut! Gimme a Tylenol. Stop rhyming, y'all! Alfred, you got no style, dog. I'm the king of dialogue! There's only one movie I know you from, And I've seen more blood in the shower when I stubbed my toe in one. You tried to fight in World War I but couldn't do that. The British Army wouldn't let you join 'cause you were too fat! Look it up; it's a true fact. Wikipedia that! Now allow me to attack Steven the hack. Due to War of the Worlds, a failure's what I label you. It looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do! Ask anybody, "What's your favorite Sam Jackson part?" No one's gonna say, "What's-his-name from Jurassic Park!" The scripts that I write ain't the…cleanest, (Fuck!) But when I grip mics, I'm the…meanest. (Dick!) Quentin Tarantino is a…genius. A bad mother fucker from the wallet to the penis! Stanley Kubrick: (1:56) Genius is a powerful word, but there's no reason to use it, 'Less you're talking about the Kubrick, then there's really nothing to it. Everything I do is visionary. Every single frame a painting made exactly how I wanna make it. Do another take and get it right, 127 times! I'll make you learn to love me! I'm the bomb; drop ultraviolent rhymes! Like Clockwork, make you all hurt; beat Spielberg The Color Purple! A.I. is the worst waste of potential since the Ninja Turtles! Michael Bay: (2:34) That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you! Why don't I come down there and show you what a real star can do? I swoop low with the telephoto; no Bruckheimer, I work solo. If there's one thing I've learned, bitch, this game is about mother fucking money! I make that dollar, y'all, mother fucking money! Even make Mark Wahlberg make some mother fucking money! I set up shop and got a few drops of that Got Milk money! Rose to The Rock, now I got that socks made of silk money! I ain't got that guilt money! I don't give a fuck! I take my checks to the bank, and I sign 'em with my nuts! I give the people what they love while the critics say I'm evil! Got no time to read reviews while I'm working on the sequel! Got a gift from above and the eyes of an eagle! When it comes to blowing up, no director is my equal!
Laddi I’m Scottish Im Scottish Skepna Ya got robot jargon in ya renta I’ll bathe in ya blood, Once I have dealt ya And when I’ve won, scream Scotland foreverrr And this Skepna sounds like an English man I’ll go monkey on him, like an orangutang This one got mince and pie for a spine I’ll gurgle ya blood like Scottish wine Steven: Let me make it clear im not here for these games I’m ahead of the curve, and Stevens’s the name Shame on you for the hypo-stress words You’ll get what you deserve and you’re cape is absurd And I’m everything you’d want, I’m a poet, I’m an actor I got a fly style, and the whit, plus the banter What’s the matter? You act ike you’ve got- (Disease Skepna begins coughing, interrupting Steven, and then spits 🔥) Disease Skepna: Yes I am dying, as you can tell I’ve got every disease across the 9 realms It’s a long list, including the one that rhymes with prancer And here’s another one, it’s you’re so called banter I’d rather die than here the rest of what you’ll say And I’ve got lukemina, Chlamydia and aids Spewing up my organs all on display The bars that you spray, just enhance all the pain
