& Tune in to my story and mental health advice. My channel is all about speaking our truth and helping others along the way. I suffered from severe chronic major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety with panic attacks, insomnia, CPTSD, and mild OCD for as long as I can remember until 3 years ago. I received therapy for 10 years and have gained knowledge along the way on top of my own personal experiences. Me helping others was the one thing that made me feel like living back when I was still suicidal. Everything clicked into place when I realized I wanted to be a RU-vidr to share my knowledge as well as becoming a public speaker. After drowning for 20 years of my life and then swimming to shore.. I made the decision to be a lighthouse for the rest that are still hanging on. This is what I live for.
We do not speak and she doesn’t come to holidays any more. It’s been like this since I told my dad what happened and then my dads wife told her what I said to him
It makes it all worth it knowing my story will reach people that thought they couldn’t be reached. The comments I get on a daily basis have reached me in a way I didn’t think possible. We are perfect the way we are and I wouldn’t change a damn thing about releasing this video. The amount of support and just pure love coming from you and the others shows we are cared for even though we were made to feel like trash. It also helps to know I wasn’t unjustified in my brains response to my trauma. I felt it all for a good damn reason- same as all of you. I hope to continue to grow as a channel that feels like home. The safe kind of home where others can feel heard and safe. Thank you for taking the time to rewatch my story and I hope to continue to see you pop up in my comments 🥹 we are not alone ❤️🩹
I listened to every word you were brave enough to speak and I'm so sorry this happened to you I love you thanks for sharing your healing journey in a way that can help many begin theirs own
So sorry you had to go through this without any support. The child in you will heal. There is nothing wrong with you , you could not help what happened to you as you had no control as a child and did not understand. I pray that you will have the strength to forgive your sister also your father for his indifference. Wishing you every blessing for the future.
This....this is exactly what happened to me 😔 I'm 23 now and just now getting help because of it. Thank you for telling your story, there is not enough stories about sister-on-sister abuse.
I’m happy to hear you’re getting help with it. Just hold on to your hope for your future and the belief that one day you won’t think of what happened. Surround yourself with only love and your mind will one day follow. People who love YOU and don’t make you feel judged- you deserve it after all the hate/shame/guilt that filled your mind as a result of what happened. Romanticize your life and make yourself glad to be alive. I wish you a good life given by yourself. Good luck and know you can do anything if you believe you can.
This was heartbreaking. Know that you are an amazing young Lady with great beauty. Be strong and please keep close to Faith. Never blame yourself and treat yourself with kindness and love.
NO Adult...No Matter What their Profession... NO matter what title they hold... NO Matter What economic Status,... NO Matter What their Culture... NO Matter what race, Creed,, or Color, NO ADULT wheather, they are a Adult Caretaker of children, teacher, parents, aunts, uncles, or anyone else, should have any sexual attraction to children, this is very disturbing to me, Very Strange, Odd, Demented, Sick, Weird, and Outrageous to me. *THERE IS NOTHING about a child, male, or female is attractive sexually, Nothing *Children are children as should be treated as such. *They are NOT mature *They have NO COMPREHENSION of Sex. They have NO COMPREHENSION of Romance *Sex and intimacy is in nature biologically is designed for Adults, NOT CHILDREN. I Cannot Comprehend any Adult thinking of a child a such a inappropriate manner. *This is a previous response I wrote to an article on Child Marriage; I don't understand why anyone would attempt to marry a child, this is unthinkable, children are not capable of Romantic Relationships, they cannot process adult Relationship lifestyles. *They are children and function as children, they are being placed, and forced in adult Relationship situations, and they cannot process nor understand it until they are Adults. *Nothing about a child is capable of handling a Romantic Relationships, Physical Relationships, Mentality handling Adult Relationships, and Lifestyles and financial matters. *A Child cannot understand the Deeper Matters of the Hearts, or Deep involved Love connections etc. *So, it baffles me to think any man would be interested in a relationship with a child. *Why not choose an Adult Woman who is matured in Mind, Body, and Spirit, intelligence...? *I could NEVER be attracted to s child. *(I have NEVER, NEVER BEEN attracted to a child nor teenager male or female) *Children need to be focused on getting their early childhood education, and growing up around other children and playing with other children. *I cannot fathom why a man would be interested in a Child as a Bride,( or any intimate sexual manner whatsoever) *A Child could NEVER appreciate Romance, Poems, Dinning, or a Dinner date etc. Really! marry a child...this makes No sense to me! (I have NEVER, NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN attracted to a child nor teenager male or female) This is beyond my comprehension.... Author, Advocate for Humanity, Jason Sandifer, Michigan, 11/10/2018, 8/26/2021, 12/21/2021 4/23/2022, 4/18/2024
NO Adult...No Matter What their Profession... NO matter what title they hold... NO Matter What economic Status,... NO Matter What their Culture... NO Matter what race, Creed,, or Color, NO ADULT wheather, they are a Adult Caretaker of children, teacher, parents, aunts, uncles, or anyone else, should have any sexual attraction to children, this is very disturbing to me, Very Strange, Odd, Demented, Sick, Weird, and Outrageous to me. *THERE IS NOTHING about a child, male, or female is attractive sexually, Nothing *Children are children as should be treated as such. *They are NOT mature *They have NO COMPREHENSION of Sex. They have NO COMPREHENSION of Romance *Sex and intimacy is in nature biologically is designed for Adults, NOT CHILDREN. I Cannot Comprehend any Adult thinking of a child a such a inappropriate manner. *This is a previous response I wrote to an article on Child Marriage; I don't understand why anyone would attempt to marry a child, this is unthinkable, children are not capable of Romantic Relationships, they cannot process adult Relationship lifestyles. *They are children and function as children, they are being placed, and forced in adult Relationship situations, and they cannot process nor understand it until they are Adults. *Nothing about a child is capable of handling a Romantic Relationships, Physical Relationships, Mentality handling Adult Relationships, and Lifestyles and financial matters. *A Child cannot understand the Deeper Matters of the Hearts, or Deep involved Love connections etc. *So, it baffles me to think any man would be interested in a relationship with a child. *Why not choose an Adult Woman who is matured in Mind, Body, and Spirit, intelligence...? *I could NEVER be attracted to s child. *(I have NEVER, NEVER BEEN attracted to a child nor teenager male or female) *Children need to be focused on getting their early childhood education, and growing up around other children and playing with other children. *I cannot fathom why a man would be interested in a Child as a Bride,( or any intimate sexual manner whatsoever) *A Child could NEVER appreciate Romance, Poems, Dinning, or a Dinner date etc. Really! marry a child...this makes No sense to me! (I have NEVER, NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN attracted to a child nor teenager male or female) This is beyond my comprehension.... Author, Advocate for Humanity, Jason Sandifer, Michigan, 11/10/2018, 8/26/2021, 12/21/2021 4/23/2022, 4/18/2024
I can not say with 100% certainty, but the abuser sister probably was being molested by the father! I am a father, walking away smiling when my child telling me she got molested is an anathema ! That MFer is a garbage!
My sister said it was one incident with 2 boys that led to her taking it home with her. However, I completely agree with you that my dad’s reaction was appalling and just sickeningly wrong. I unfortunately no matter how much he changes- will never forget that moment for as long as I live. I’ll never forget the apology I am owed and I’ll never forget the ones who believed me without explanation. Some things you can never take back. Thank you for your support as a father- I think I really needed to hear from one of you dad’s saying that. Just to know that there are fathers out there that would break down hearing those words. That they’d break down like I did ❤️🩹
I have a niece who is my age and was bigger than me when we were children, when we were 6 years old she abused me several times for months, she stayed at my house for my parents to take care of her, one day she It went away and I felt like I was freeing myself. I've never told anyone this until today.
I’m proud to have made a safe space where you feel comfortable to speak on it. I’m so terribly sorry she did that to you. Just because you were the same age doesn’t mean it was your fault AT ALL! I hope you know that now. It doesn’t make it less harmful and only adds to the confusion of your feelings. They had the intention of hurting you while you hadn’t even known these experiences existed until her. Forgive yourself for feeling shame instead of anger. Everything you feel makes sense- someone hurt you to such an extent that it changed your life permanently. We never forget what was done to us. Just remember that we eventually are able to decide if we’ll wear it as armor or a knife in our hearts forever. Make the choice to not be them and to spread love instead of hate. That’s what makes you beautiful ❤️🩹
@@___asia sadly it did turn into intention to harm when she used bullying to make me submissive. When she told me everyday that I wasn’t loveable or that I’m annoying etc to make me feel worthless and doubt myself. She would ask people I brought over why they were friends with me as a adult. The sexual abuse was also targeted towards body shaming. She realized the sexual abuse was wrong and stopped that but continued with the emotional abuse. If you can recognize that sexual abuse is wrong then she understood the emotional abuse wasn’t right either. ESPECIALLY as an adult. You know better and she did not act better. I still understand how what happened to her turned her into a hateful person but that doesn’t mean I forgive her for continuing to be so. I forgive you for the sexual abuse but not for the abuse that continued after that.
Lex - you are awesome! You posted this with the intent to help others. What a spark of light you are!!! You are courageous and you are strong!! Look in the mirror and know you are beauty:). Your family has issues, it is okay. It is what you do with yourself and what you choose to believe that matters. If you have a negative belief about yourself, please throw it away. You can heal.
I was actually crying with you for the last 5 minutes. I’m a 60 yr old male and have never spoken of my abuse as a 9 year old child by a male neighbour who was a close family friend. I wish I’d had the courage years ago to speak out. Sending my love and best wishes.
Thank you, sir. It’s bittersweet to share each others pain and I appreciate you feeling those emotions right along with me. That’s all we really need in the end- to not feel alone in our feelings and past. It’s never too late to talk about it. A long time ago until recently it was something to be ashamed of- that’s no fault of yours. ❤️❤️❤️
I did remember what happened to me in bits and pieces over time. That’s how ptsd works lmao 🤣 my body knew what happened to me long before I consciously did. Do your research before you attack another abuse survivor 😊
@@nataliewood2554 it’s 100% not I think my sister took my pants off in the closet.. people in the real world are dealing with war,famine and all kinds of other sh!t not this bs for attention
How would you know though 🤣 the only argument you have is, “it’s all lies for attention” where’s the facts? Or are you really just stating your opinion that you believe this didn’t happen 🤷🏼♀️ this would be the absolute worst way to get attention and I actually lose more then I gain in regards to “attention”. I get people like you. I understand you didn’t like my video but it wasn’t made for YOU. It was made for others who’ve gone through what I have and to prevent future abuses by spreading awareness. You don’t have to like it because I don’t actually give a d*mn. 🥰 I’ve got so many more of my stories to tell so thanks for watching and keep it up!
Lex@' take care of yourself. You can't trust no nobody these days even family members and that's crazy to think about. You can't choose who your family is but you can assiciate with whom you want. That's the only thing you're in control of. Seems like your sister was in denial FOR YEARS. She can't get over the fact the she's been abusing HER OWN FLESH AND BLOOD. She tried to create this storyline in her head to get over her shame. You are in control of the narrative because you know her secret. Personally, she should be locked up for same sex pedophilic activity over a minor. She probably regrets it now LIKE HARD. That's why she pretends to resent you because you know who she really is. The shame is on her NOT ON YOU. Don't beat yourself over PEOPLE who don't deserve your time and your trust. Stay strong kex@' and stay out of drugs and meds. This won't help. I hope you'll find the moral support you need to get through this. Your bother seens like a decent human being unless I'm missing something. Stay strong. ✊
Everything you said was spot on! And yes my brother is a very decent person. He’s extremely protective of me and I’m so fortunate to have him in my life. I don’t beat myself up for what happened to me anymore. I carry it with pride because of how far I’ve come and the fact that it’s put me on a path to help others. Whether that be my CNA work, ABA therapy with autistic children, or this channel. I am where I am today because of what happened to me- I am thankful for the path I am on and I’m looking forward to where else it brings me 🥺
I was sexually abused by my older sister when we were 7,9, unfortunately during that time she was being molested by the neighbor.we shared a room and bed.i just thought she was being weird playing around but I never told my dad,but he caught her one day giving me a Hickey and beat her ass as he k ew that was gross. My sister's abuser was caught , 😊but mine gets to go free living her life like her shit dont stink. One day I will be brave enough to tell my tale.
Thank you for creating a channel to tell your truth. As a child that endured abuse I was faced with unpacking my traumas from childhood and adult hood at 40 years old. I personally feel a massive leap in healing is giving our abuse a voice. Nothing to hide as we should not hold in negative emotions. The more we talk the more we release all of the built up negative emotions/energy we supressed and the healthier we become. I went years supressing my emotions and it nearly physically destroyed me. Disease is just that dis ease/body not in a state of ease. You are young do not let your experiences attack your body it is enough to deal with the thoughts and emotions. Sorry if you already are. Take care of you because no one can LOVE and care for you better then yourself. You deserve it.
I couldn’t agree more. When abusers see more people coming forward- the less likely they are to abuse as well. We are healing out loud and proud 🥲 Thank you for your support and I’m glad you’re not keeping it in anymore. We deserve to speak on what happened to us and to heal. Best of luck to you- keep going!!!
I was sexually abused by my older sister between the ages of 7 and 14 (I am male) I have suffered from social anxiety my entire life I am 53 years old it doesn't go away... I have daily suicidal ideation.....
I’m sorry that was done to you. Sometimes it helps to remind yourself that you’re feeling this way for a REASON. It’s not just your brain being weird it’s the effects of abuse. Try arguing against the suicidal thoughts and only see people that make you feel comfortable. Social anxiety is interesting because you can be ok sometimes and other times not. Begin to take note of where and when you’re anxious and avoid those places/people the best you can. Obviously you can’t avoid work if that makes you anxious but still take note of it and find ways to ease yourself. Having a earbud in and play relaxing music when you’d usually be anxious can help. Tapping fingers in a rhythm. Deep slow breathes when you feel out of breath or before a anxious encounter. Let me know if this ends up helping!! I hope the best for you and I’m glad you’re still here in spite of what happened to you. Against all odds- you’re here.
It’s okey God will heal your pain and will send a happiness in your life; just don’t give up Jesus is always in your side keep looking up heads up you strong person for give the family and God blessed you
My older sister, a sexually peverted predator who used to stick her a$$ in my face from childhood into adulthood and f*rt before I could have a chance to escape, used to pin me down against my will without my consent and tickle me so aggressively I actually could not breathe and weaponizing my involuntarily laughter and smiling as a "sign" that I "liked it" and everything was "okay" while I had actial tears streaming down my face trying to punch and kick her off of me and literally suffocating under her weight and my inability to inhale any oxygen because the tickling was so horrifically intense, was forced to share a bed with her growing up and she kept trying to rub her leg on my leg and her arm against my arm in a creepy way to the point I built a pillow fortress around myself to keep her away from me, and every time I had to use to bathroom she would try to grab and poke my cr*tch to try and get me to wet myself in public in order to torture and humiliate me, as an adult she exclaimed, "I'm sorry for whatever it is you think I've done to you. Okay?! So now can you please just go back to being fun happy Roxy now and get your life together so you can afford to go on fun trips with me and go snowboarding together again and stuff?"
Yeah that’s not okay at all and for her to give that kind of apology isn’t right. Of course you can’t just act like everything is normal when really what’s happening is she’s pushing it under the rug when it’s TRAUMA for you. You can’t push that under the rug. It’s like a monster looking at you from under the rug- it’ll always be there. So no you or I can’t just go back to the way we were. Either admit what you did on your own and treat me better or I can’t have you in my life. It’s not rocket science 😌
Almost five years ago, I was also sexually abused by one of my childhood 'best friends' and it absolutely tore me to shreds and still does, because not only was this person my 'best friend', they are also related to me very closely by blood, so I can never truly escape them. This person is less than a year older than me, we were so so close, until they started the abuse. It hurts so much still.
It’s so difficult to wrap your head around why someone would hurt someone that they “care” about. It makes it so much more complicated because it just doesn’t make sense to us. Then the continued contact after the abuse is another terrible aspect. I think that’s why people claim to have better chances at healing when they go no contact because you’re not constantly reopening the wound. How can our brain heal or recognize it’s not in danger if we still see the person who put us in danger? Regardless of it stopping that’s the reality of it ❤️
Talk about brave. I really hope you find piece and can enjoy your life. Youre a very strong young woman sharing this and bringing awareness for others. God bless you ❤
Unbelievably sad. It makes me realise how incredibly lucky I was to have a fairly conventional upbringing. I just want to reach though the screen and hug you.
Thank you- these videos are for everyone. Even the ones who haven’t gone through this. You’ll meet people who have gone through this or you’ll have children around you that you’ll be looking out for because of these videos. Thank you for your support and I hope you carry my story with you because it’s too many peoples story ❤️
@@LexMindset Absolutely. I suspect this type of abuse has happened since the dawn of human history, but it's only recently with the advent of the internet and mass communication that victims are able to now share their stories, get justice, and subsequently embolden others to come forward who would otherwise remained silent in the shadows and have taken their horrific experiences to the grave. People like yourself who share their stories, will inspire young people experiencing the same thing. Peace, respect, admiration and love from Liverpool.
I’ll carry your comment with me. You don’t have to have experienced it to understand victims and you’re proof of that. Make abusers feel like they’re on their toes. Don’t let them feel confident anymore that nobody is watching them. Give victims the voice that those abusers are terrified of. Because they know the laws and they know what little it takes. Your voice. The more potential abusers hear about people exposing abusers- the less likely they are to abuse 😌
@@LexMindset Anything and everything we can do that makes a potential abuser think twice can make a difference. I'm British, and there has been a plethora of retrospective investigations and convictions against men who were "celebrities" in the 1970's, including a national treasure of the time, "Jimmy Saville", awarded an OBE from the Queen, I used to watch him on TV as a youngster, but a few years ago it was revealed he' was one of the most prolific pedos the United Kingdom has ever seen, but after he died so basically got away with it. His grave had. "it was good while it lasted" engraved on it, but that's now been removed by the local council. So called men who are tempted to abuse kids need to know they can no longer slide under the radar and avoid consequences.
kids who have been s/abused commit S/A on their younger siblings. i am the youngest of 5 kids and have been a victim of all their Trama it was the cycle of S/A from about age 5 to 14.every day and most time 2 to 3 times a day.
I am deeply sorry for what happened to you. I hope you are in a place of great happiness. Sadly there are bad people in our lives sometimes they are our family. I wish you well and may from now on your life be wonderful.
Sorry to hear your painful life story. I was sexually abused by my sister. People don't realise it can happen the other way sister to brother. I was 9 years old she was 14 and didn't know what it was about. Touched me in areas she shouldn't. This happened for 2 years. I'm 40 years old now and only starting to open up about it to professionals trying to deal with this. Took a lot of guts to open up as I didn't know how I would be judged by others. The support has been overcome and glad I opened up. Even t hough I have flashback a and nightmares still. Takes a long time if it happens to recover. I hope so it's lik R tourcher...
Better late then never when it comes to healing. I’m so glad you’ve made that step in spite of how long it’s been- no amount of time can heal what happened. You have to feel it and talk about it. Too many people would say yes it’s effecting my everyday life but it’s been too many years to get help now. But you didn’t. Keep going and allow yourself to feel that pride. I’m sorry that happened to you but I’m comforted to know I’m not alone. Thank you ❤️ P.S: the nightmares and flashbacks get better when you do.
I pray GOD heals you and your sister really realize what she did to you and be remorseful plus anyone who went through this I pray GOD heals you I know its hard to heal from this only GOD can help you to heal
This stuff is so sad. My mother and grandmother are. I had a friend who went through this. I am so sorry this happened to you! It makes me cry. I pray you get help healing and peace. I think people who survived these horrible things are the strongest people in the world
Wow I admire you for your honesty and strength Lex, that's a really harrowing life story, and thanks for revealing it to us so that everyone can better understand.
