“He hid $77k in CC debt…but can’t tell me what he bought”

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Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Jim and Dana. They are both 58, five years into their second marriages, and coping with changes in their new lifestyle in different ways. Jim is set on providing as he follows patterns from his past, hiding tens of thousands in debt. Dana daydreams of her past in California-and the lifetime of alimony she passed up.
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27 сен 2024

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@ramitsethi 3 месяца назад

00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

@fpm8338 3 месяца назад

25:31 funny how times have changed. If a kid is eating homemade bread and home made butter and not eating Doritos, that kid is probably rich now.

@trackee2024 3 месяца назад

Thought the same thing!!

@Aquaria2291 3 месяца назад

Lmaooo literally thought the exact same thing. Especially the handmade butter, in 2024, that's a flex. 😂 People are going to $$$$ restaurants and eating handmade butter. 😭

@mrs.quills7061 3 месяца назад

Yeah it’s weird what is considered “poor people food” now.

@michaelellenberger3183 3 месяца назад

Thought the same thing. Also not only is it seen as richer but also almost praised by the common people for not feeding your child all these additives and carcinogens In modern shelf items

@heathershuster5570 3 месяца назад

I would be skipping if someone made me homemade bread and homemade butter. That sounds sooooo good.

@heatherrees1 3 месяца назад

Thank you for having people over 40 on your show!

@isabelreyes6387 3 месяца назад

You got one person that is not responsible with money being left in charge of covering all their FIXED expenses and the person that is very financially literate only looking after the FUN stuff? Makes zero sense

@user-uq2ti7tj6k 3 месяца назад

It sounds like he was very financially responsible before meeting her. It seems like trying to give her a lifestyle that lives up to her ex has made him make bad choices. She's manipulative.

@michellegreen1072 3 месяца назад

@@user-uq2ti7tj6kNobody made him ask her to be his wife.

@HoustonTom 3 месяца назад

He definitely isn’t as financially responsible but they set him up for failure by giving him $0 left over.

@LiamCrossleySound 3 месяца назад

100%

@ST-rj8iu 3 месяца назад

@@user-uq2ti7tj6k well he needs to say no. it is his choice to hide things.

@Jeremy_Cook 3 месяца назад

Thank you Ramit! While watching this episode, my GF and I paused and reconsidered the way we split our fixed costs. We decided to change from a 50/50 split on our fixed housing costs. Instead, we will contribute a proportional amount of our incomes starting next month when our lease renews. Thanks again!

@larrymartinez8365 3 месяца назад

Your family has separate bank accounts? If so, why?

@Jeremy_Cook 3 месяца назад

@@larrymartinez8365 because we are still dating at this time. We plan on joining accounts right after we get married.

@debbielockhart7762 2 месяца назад

@@larrymartinez8365Probably because it is wise to do so.

@williamsullivan8544 2 месяца назад

@@larrymartinez8365didn’t see that anywhere in his comment. Also, my wife and I have separate checking accounts, separate savings accounts and a shared savings account. Do you have a problem with that? If so, why?

@M_SC Месяц назад

Feminists invented the proportional income for paying costs thing. And it’s right whichever gender makes more.

@braq5975 3 месяца назад

I like that when she stated she pays for “all of the insurance” it highlighted onscreen that he pays almost the same monthly amount towards insurance

@BlahDeDah7 3 месяца назад

The fact that she does not realize what that property means to him is all I need to know. He’s happy there. She’s not. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to make her happy.

@MoncheriRous 3 месяца назад

Yeah! I would hate for Jim to sell all of his hard earn things for a woman that does not have the same values! She loves the city, he loves the country! They are not good together..

@JohnDoe-jq1br 3 месяца назад

She does not realize what having the property means to her. That said, they could look for some property in northern California.

@Gioli565 3 месяца назад

@@JohnDoe-jq1brhe has a 12 year old daughter they can’t move

@JohnDoe-jq1br 3 месяца назад

@@Gioli565 That's odd, I was able to move when my daughter was 12, I also moved when my son was 12. Please explain what that has to do with anything?

@joiecf 3 месяца назад

@JohnDoe-jq1br it's a custody issue. He can't take her out of state to live as her mother shares custody. And if he moved without her, he'd be giving up custody and possibly even losing visitation. Could also mean big changes to child support payments.

@itslala 3 месяца назад

When she said she gave up $60k a year to get married I just think that was the absolute worst move ever...

@desireesalas5820 3 месяца назад

Most definitely!

@brianlowy1976 3 месяца назад

How many people do you think she has shared that with over the last 5 years?

@susmiller3325 3 месяца назад

She gave up $60000.. per year to Marry a man who’s not rich 🤔.. that was a vey bad decision in her part ..

@cynthiamerryman 3 месяца назад

Bet she wishes he wasn't such a covert narcissist. He conned her!

@JohnDoe-jq1br 3 месяца назад

@@cynthiamerryman Are you serious? All he wants to do is take care of her, satisfy her. Remember, he has a home when they met. She made the decision to get something more. Up his debt, yet she didn't help with it, even though she has the larger income.

@daniellefaith47 3 месяца назад

My opinion changed so much once we started getting into the numbers. Financial infidelity made it seem cut and dry at the beginning, but as the video goes on, her laughing at his siblings current situation and rolling her eyes when he talks about staying in Michigan... the breakdown of the csp showing he has no spending money with the current set up... i feel more sympathy for him now for feeling pressure to spend money he doesn't have to keep up with her expectations. They really need to adjust the division of expenses so he can address his debt and, more importantly, not slip back into it!

@lizziethelemon 3 месяца назад

Yes, adjusting my opinion too. I think she says a lot of things passively which impact his self-esteem and decisions.

@cognitive-botanical-therapy 3 месяца назад

She was also quick to volunteer a lot of private info about his experience growing up. I thought that was odd. 😮

@lizziethelemon 3 месяца назад

@@cognitive-botanical-therapy agreed! awful.

@mrs.quills7061 3 месяца назад

Literally this she complains about debt but wants to live in a more expensive area then get a job and help support the income.

@mrs.quills7061 3 месяца назад

@@cognitive-botanical-therapyand the way she spoke throughout was weird like a parent gossiping about their child.

@Danfinitely 3 месяца назад

Talking to your current husband about your exes finances and boasting about not having to work and regretting your new life is sad.

@satyanveshi1939 3 месяца назад

Then why did she leave him at the first place

@eileenwatt8283 3 месяца назад

I'm wondering if she left her ex husband to be with the new husband and not knowing his spending habits. Why would she not asked for part of the 401k. ? That wasn't smart..

@eileenwatt8283 3 месяца назад

@@satyanveshi1939possible she met this one and decided the grass would be greener.

@mrs.quills7061 3 месяца назад

Right like what more does she expect him to give?

@Riversedgegarden 3 месяца назад

@@satyanveshi1939the c left her

@tritiism 3 месяца назад

Her hesitance when asked if she would consider helping him pay the debt and her enthusiasm when the topic changed to selling his stuff says it all. The wife doesn't care at all about the well-being of the husband. She was just looking for someone to take care of her and thought she found one. And I think he is bankrupting himself to please her because he thinks she is out of his league. Unless they change these dynamics and aim to build a real partnership they will both end up very hurt and disappointed.

@ILovePlants33 3 месяца назад

Her enthusiasm about selling things that are important to him and then selling everything was appalling. Ramits "look at his face" was a key point to her selfishness.

@El-wf2zx 3 месяца назад

If you look at the CSP, she is currently saving around 5 k a month by making jim pay for everything. Not a coincidence that’s the same amount she would have gotten from alimony. In her head she is owed that money and feels justified in squirreling that amount away. She starts dipping into that amount, it will kill her ego.

@Gioli565 3 месяца назад

Amen

3 месяца назад

Never have I so quickly gone from: "What a sweet understanding lady" to "oh this poor man" He will never feel adequate. She gave up alimony and she will never let him live that down. The guy never smiled once. I worry for his wellbeing. And here she is ready to sell everything that brings him any amount of joy.

@1michellej925 3 месяца назад

I agree without 100%!

@johnnypham2850 3 месяца назад

He ended his marriage and she is a victim

@mrs.quills7061 3 месяца назад

Same same. The way he talks and the crack in his voice about how she’s not happy in that area broke my heart. She’s destroying him.

@JohnDoe-jq1br 3 месяца назад

I agree with a lot of your thinking. Both of them politely ganged up on on the poor guy. They want to take the things that makes him fell that he is living the rich life. His collectables, and going out working the fields. He enjoys those things. He is giving up up everything that he enjoys, and for what? A one sided relationship. He is in debt because he is pulling all of the weight.

@shaunagingras482 2 месяца назад

OMG yes!! I was so on her side initially, having someone hide debt is horrible. And then she really spoke… wow! Only halfway through but I believe this poor man, who is clearly trying his hardest and so scared to tell her about his struggles, is the one who downgraded. She moved so he could provide for her as best he could, he has what seems like a crappy wife.

@janefinance 3 месяца назад

Jimmy, don’t sell your property and family legacy. This lady doesn’t care about you. She will always look down on you and compare you to her ex. You guys don’t want the same thing and you need to accept that. Stop going into debt and paying for the bulk of your relationship when she is not willing to do the same. Instead of offering to help you when she sees how unfair the current situation is, she is more worried about a post-nup to continue to keep her money just for herself. She does not want to be on the same team as you. You need to wake up to the reality of this situation before selling everything and losing more only to see her leave you eventually anyway.

@CambieSweets 3 месяца назад

This was a sad one to watch. Not condoning financial infidelity but I was appalled by the way she speaks about her ex husband in front of Jimmy. Wondering what he’s making now?! How painfully insulting that must’ve been for Jimmy.

@IMBLESSED-oe6dl 3 месяца назад

Shw likes ex so much she should go back to him. I bet she misses him not n $$

@Gioli565 3 месяца назад

@@IMBLESSED-oe6dlyep she would let him cheat on her forever if she could keep her lifestyle in CA

@drrush3421 2 месяца назад

Time stamp?

@Bynming 2 месяца назад

The woman doesn't pay for the mortgage and she was so eager to get him to sell all the stuff he's passionate about. And to be fair it seems like it's the right financial move for him to sell it. But I don't believe she truly cares about him. She might like him in some way, but she doesn't care about him and she'll casually disregard his feelings and hurt him for the rest of their life together.

@Th3Think3r 3 месяца назад

Sadly I am not sure they will be able to get on the same page. I can appreciate Dana's difficultly with her transition away from a more comfortable life and Jim's struggle with trying to be the provider he wants to be. This is another great lesson for the audience to make sure they start to have conversations about their rich life early in their relationships prior to commitment.

@Tiffany-lo6hc 3 месяца назад

I hate to think in these terms but OOF how emasculating. She comes in so superior and betrayed about this massive debt but frequently tells him how she "downgraded" and how unhappy she is, while also not paying towards any of the real expenses...what are her fixed costs if not paying mortgage and food??!

@vulpixelful 3 месяца назад

Yes, even as a woman I would feel as belittled as Jim probably feels

@MC12140726 3 месяца назад

Exactly I felt like she was very manipulative to get her way! The first guy probably ran while he still had his pants.

@jenniferb8145 3 месяца назад

Exactly! I can’t imagine sharing a life with someone who is constantly comparing me to their ex and making clear how much they miss their old life and what their ex was able to provide for them. It’s obvious she has one foot out the door especially when she talks about a post nup in the follow up.

@dataman16 3 месяца назад

Her fixed costs were her business expenses, her car, the insurance and $500 of subscriptions...

@ad2094 3 месяца назад

Maybe we don't need the term emasculating. There is belittling. Anyone can be belittled.

@venoshinisevalimgam3495 3 месяца назад

It’s not his debt! It’s their debt!! He’d taken on so much of their fixed expenses without her even asking about his financial position. It’s crazy that she was playing victim at the beginning. I feel bad for the guy that he entered into a relationship where she hung the ideals of her past relationship on the current relationship making him feel like he could never measure up!

@tenzindechen6491 3 месяца назад

I believe she is afraid that if she helps him, he would rack up more cc bills. At the end , They need therapy

@mccraeday5809 3 месяца назад

@@tenzindechen6491 again its their debt, she is just as complicite in it going as high as it did because she has barely any fixed expenses compared to him. She wants the cake, cherry on top, whipped cream and the pie too!

@ILovePlants33 3 месяца назад

Exactly. He had zero fun money to buy gifts, himself alpaca socks, etc because he was paying all fixed costs while her whole salary is fun money. Debt is for sure partly her fault. I wonder what ramits thoughts were on this one?

@spencer34716 3 месяца назад

Wow. She is tough to take. Kudos to him for hanging in with her because the first time my spouse compared me to their former with regret, I would have been sitting in front of a divorce attorney. She needs to go back to Cali.

@Gioli565 3 месяца назад

She has disdain for him, which is going to make the marriage fail unless she changes that. He seems nice and it’s no surprise he’s in debt when he pays 97% of his income to fixed costs. He’s trying to convince her to stay by taking on the bulk of the financial responsibility. Sad thing is, now she wants to leave him because he went into debt doing so. This is unfortunate as he clearly loves her. I don’t know that she loves him. She doesn’t show it much and thinks only of herself.

@cognitive-botanical-therapy 3 месяца назад

💯💯💯💯

@BlahDeDah7 3 месяца назад

Agree.

@samk.970 3 месяца назад

Its nearly impossible that one can love another person if they disdain and compare them to their ex openly without any shame.

@DamianBadalamenti 3 месяца назад

Probably why her ex left her.

@Sortofwriter 3 месяца назад

His debt is from paying HER living expenses, not from gambling or porn. I was totally on his side by the end and I don’t get what these two are doing together. It’s weird.

@rogerssampaio652 3 месяца назад

This one was tough, they are on the verge of splitting. Ramit really has a touch for this kind of dynamics.

@Jada_RE 3 месяца назад

Right. U really have to walk on eggshells/be careful w what u say in such unstable dynamics. I'd run the other way, so kudos to Ramit

@feliciawilliams5720 3 месяца назад

Yeah & only 5 years in too. Hopefully they figure it out

@brianlowy1976 3 месяца назад

My favorite part of listening to this podcast is observing how Ramit handles their relationship interplay. It’s easy to give normal basic advice but Ramit’s a star when he elegantly calls out people on their behavior and provides novel solutions.

@feliciawilliams5720 3 месяца назад

@@brianlowy1976 he must have a minor in psychology as he pinpoints the issue very perceptibly 🤔

@denisecampbell9563 3 месяца назад

They don’t need to sell their property. The biggest issue is that they don’t want to combine their incomes. If they combined their incomes, paid out expenses, lived on a budget for a year and take their surplus money and bang out the debt, they could be debt free in a year. Save cash for hobbies (farming etc), and set up a travel fund if they like to travel. Dana’s behaviour is based on her childhood. She never had planted roots (always moving around), so it’s nothing to her to just sell everything and travel. It’s unrealistic.

@dawnkoplitz1825 3 месяца назад

I think Jim’s rich life is living on a farm, raising animals/crops, and his collectables. To me it felt like he wasn’t allowed to have that as his rich life. As for Dana, she also contributed to the debt by not helping pay her fair share of their expenses. Unless she was paying for half of the vacations, dinners out, holidays, gifts, and daily expenses, she contributed to that $77,000.

@johnnypham2850 3 месяца назад

She is his Wife. A Wife is not responsible for taking care of her husband unless she has agreed to that at the outset. This guy is abusive and she has the right to be upset.

@Gioli565 3 месяца назад

@@johnnypham2850a wife should be a partner and both should work together. She doesn’t care about him. She cares about herself. She’s not the victim you seem to have bought into based on her portraying victim in everything

@jennyd013 3 месяца назад

THIS it’s his rich life and I was so disappointed it got missed. Maybe you have to grow up in that life to understand it.

@Capycorg 3 месяца назад

@@johnnypham2850I'm a woman and what you're saying is insane. She makes more money than he does and still makes him pay for everything.

@ILovePlants33 3 месяца назад

@@johnnypham2850he is abusive?? She verbalizes to her husband that she shouldn't have given up alimony (Aka shouldn't have married this new guy) and wonders how much her ex makes. Not forgiving that he hid debt but I can 100% see why he did.

@lorririvera4506 3 месяца назад

My fear is that he’ll do all these things to please her and she’s just going to leave him anyway. Keep your stuff, Jimmy and know your worth.

@jaynebirkholz1596 3 месяца назад

What is Dana giving up to make this work??? Why is he giving up everything he loves? Poor fellow.

@mrs.quills7061 3 месяца назад

This was a heartbreaking episode, at first I was thinking he had a gambling problem, but it seems he has a wife problem. Nothing will ever be enough or ever make her happy and I wonder if that’s what resulted in the end of her previous marriage. My heart broke for this man, especially when his voice cracked about how she doesn’t like where they live or his sighs. They both need therapy and help.

@DamianBadalamenti 3 месяца назад

She's broken this poor man.

@ChristyMurphyWriter 25 дней назад

@@DamianBadalamentiI agree. I’m worried she’s going to have him sell everything, and she’ll never contribute more to the bills, and then leave him for “financial infidelity” when he goes into more debt to make her happy.

@Lynnys1 3 месяца назад

So all of her ideas about how to raise money to pay the credit card debt is to sell his stuff. The debt is theirs as they are married. Where is her contribution? It sounds like a lot of the debt was incurred to keep her happy. Ultimately the mistake was to get married. If they hadn’t she would have her high salary, her alimony and no responsibility for his debt. He married someone who he can’t keep up with and who gets to keep her money while he struggles. Definitely not a partnership.

@twinleighton 3 месяца назад

This!!

@Gioli565 3 месяца назад

💯 spot on

@lize2957 2 месяца назад

Are you kidding me? Did he not run up the credit cards behind her back? I may be missing something ...

@benbockting7511 3 месяца назад

Hi, your favorite Ca Loan officer. I am from a farm background originally(Missouri) where my family produces cattle,hay and row crops. I would keep the hay equipment since that is expensive to replace or you can hire out the hay harvesting(also the harvest could be part of his rich life if he enjoys it). I would sell the steers since they are not a producing animal. In addition I would put any extra land into production rather than selling would be my preferred move, since most of the time farming is a family legacy and keeping the land in production is the goal. Generally keeping the farm has a lot of emotional ties to it that people not from a rural background don't understand. I am glad this emotion is addressed

@californiadreamer2580 День назад

Totally agree, or a 5 year lease to another farmer. He will not be able to afford replace his older equipment, which is also likely to be much easier to maintain or repair than more modern models.

@RussellByrne-i1p 3 месяца назад

No wonder he’s in debt, he’s subsidising her lifestyle and expenses - and she massively out earns him. To begin with I thought it was him but now I think she should clear the debt, cut up the cards and share the bills more appropriately, and sell all the excess stuff

@nastajab9026 3 месяца назад

Sad

@RussellByrne-i1p 3 месяца назад

@@nastajab9026 indeed, it’s always sad when one partner knowingly takes financial advantage of their spouse. Glad it became clear in the end.

@ChubbyBlumpkinz 3 месяца назад

They should probably go their separate ways. First half I thought he was 100% the problem. Her bringing up the nice lifestyle she gave up to marry him, vocalizing that she wonders how much her ex is making, how much better things were where she used to live…

@mmp495 3 месяца назад

Ughhh, the alimoney comment made me cringe. She needs to let her past go and never say those things again.

@cxxw-t6i 2 месяца назад

she's 58 and still brags about her grandpa...that's how you know..

@jennifyliving5511 3 месяца назад

I was totally upset with the guy at first for financial infidelity but as I continued watching I just disliked this woman more and more. It doesn’t seem like she’s over her ex and their life together, she constantly belittles him and is passive aggressive and the eye rolling!! He seems like such a nice guy trying hard to do his best and she’s just so delusional. I hate being harsh but OMG! She doesn’t think she should have to contribute to the living costs while knowing her partner is drowning? She’s sunbathing watching him drown and has not a single ounce of concern or compassion for him. Where’s the team work?! This marriage is doomed if she keeps being a single woman living off a husband. In the last like 8 mins I think I hated her. And he keeps making excuses for her… this is just really sad. He seems so broken down and beaten by her.

@HD-mv2qh 3 месяца назад

He should have told her. $75k is a lot of CC debt. Especially with nothing to show for it. She has every right to be angry. I was pissed off for her. Financial infidelity is up there with cheating because the person isn't being honest. I watch the rest of the show and I understand why people don't like her. A lot of this is on her. She should never have gotten married again. Especially since she was getting alimony. That's like a pension. They could have just been BF and GF.

@funginimp 3 месяца назад

Yeah when you get to the end you realize how much of a textbook relationship dynamic it is. We've all heard of this. Guy is being taken advantage of but can't see it / will sacrifice anything debt wise to keep up the illusion.

@jennifyliving5511 3 месяца назад

@@funginimp yeah… but I’d say they plain aren’t compatible. Down to where they want to live and the type of life they each want. It’s like the whole dating process of assessing values and future goals was completely missed.

@HD-mv2qh 3 месяца назад

@@jennifyliving5511 I totally agree. It was like they didn't date.

@Capycorg 3 месяца назад

@@jennifyliving5511well said. I really feel bad for him... Seems like they got married on a whim

@sara7mk 3 месяца назад

Dana should contribute more to their fixed expenses, their breakdown is awful. I'd be embarrassed over this disparity if I were Dana.

@user-jq4zp2de2d 3 месяца назад

Jim married his high school crush and I think he thinks he married out of his league, so he wants to do anything to please/appease her. That's awful. She holds him in contempt. I think he actually did really well given his upbringing, and he seems like a kind and giving person. I think Dana is projecting her own significant self-worth issues onto Jim and is manipulating him to "pay" for her ex's infidelity and divorce. She needs individual therapy, and frankly they both do. It's such a losing situation for Jim - she will never respect him and I doubt she loves him. Jim look defeated and like he's about to have a heart attack. I hope he saves himself and files for divorce. Dana is incredibly toxic and entitled. As a PS, if someone told me I needed to sell my collectibles I would file yesterday. I never racked up 77k worth of debt in my life, but he only did so because she's a shameless moocher. These antique signs are a hot commodity now, they will not go down in price because they are so sought after, and he loves them - there was no reason to sell them.

@LilaBudgets 3 месяца назад

After listening to the whole thing, I feel for him. He paid all of his student loans off himself, he was always good with paying off debt until... Now, in the past 5 years, it seems like he is just trying to keep up with her. I don’t think 77k is impossible to pay off. I’ve paid off 70k of student loans, car loan, home down payment, and wedding expenses in 5 years. If they love each other enough to compromise and live on less, they can make it work.

@ILovePlants33 3 месяца назад

It's hard to pay off if you're spending more than you make each month because you have a wife who won't pay for anything...

@m0kn33marc 3 месяца назад

As her man, I would've told her, "keep getting that $5000 a month baby...we don't need to get married".

@AIRBORNE916 3 месяца назад

That’s no way to be a proper man.

@eclipse.5295 3 месяца назад

As a woman I would just live nearby and NEVER get married again!

@m0kn33marc 3 месяца назад

@AIRBORNE916 Opinions are like buttholes. Everybody's got one. But you know what everyone doesn't have? $5000 a month.

@m0kn33marc 3 месяца назад

@eclipse.5295 I feel you sis!

@suzannevanhook4284 3 месяца назад

I don’t understand why they got married. I understand her reluctance to be all in after a 30 year marriage, so why get married? At this stage of life be long term partners instead and even live in different places if that is what each prefers. I would never get remarried in similar circumstances.

@gstar876 3 месяца назад

The man can't afford her! Plain and simple. All his money is going towards supporting her, so it's unfair to judge him getting into debt to keep it up and indicating she's scared and can't trust him. Then help out with the lifestyle, take some pressure off him.

@_melts 3 месяца назад

This was sad on both ends, they've both contributed to the position they're in today.

@ozzyaararon 3 месяца назад

She made it seem like she had helped him pay off debt before but then said that they "tapped a loan from HIS 401k". I'm not sure she's helped him at all, what part did she play? Is that right? Her major expense seems to be all about her own business. He grew his dependent count through marriage basically is what it seems like.

@lealovestechbooo 3 месяца назад

comparing him to her ex is nasty work. thats so disrespectful

@kr59137 3 месяца назад

This was by far one of the most uncomfortable episodes to watch. The CSP split absolutely made me cringe. I really feel for his child(ren?) still living with them.

@lisawaters7786 3 месяца назад

Seriously disliked her entitlement. Felt sorry for him. 😂Why in the world would she remarry? So many bad decisions. . . And agree that the ex is the only winner in this situation.

@mrs.quills7061 3 месяца назад

Yeah at first I thought it was a him problem, but then as this went on the things she said reeked of entitlement then she’d back paddle. I love beautiful things… but I don’t need them 😅

@marinacarranza3904 3 месяца назад

I would take the homemade bread and homemade butter over the Doritos and twinkies! Thank you, mom, for the homemade meals!

@thetruthfultutor 3 месяца назад

My thoughts exactly

@agusal4487 3 месяца назад

100%

@dquan731 3 месяца назад

I personally can’t relate to this couple. My wife and I are very transparent our spending and basically consult each other whenever we have any expenses more than $1K. It’s mind boggling that you would get married without having all the financial talks and spending philosophy. I’m sorry to say, people don’t change that much. He will not change his spending ways. I completely agree with Ramit. Why do couples split expenses? They should sit down, create a budget for the family and both contribute a % of their income to it. Otherwise, it could be very unfair.

@aetoxnan 3 месяца назад

Everybody is complaining about Jim here, but I also have to say, that he is trying to provide as much as he can and that´s the reason he is overspending...she doesn´t realise it at all. That´s why she wasn´t even thinking about paying the half of the mortgage or the groceries -> those nearly 1,500$ would have helped him a lot in the past. Over 5 years of splitting mortgage and groceries would have been 90k for Jim. That´s about the amount he has in CC debt right now. Both are in their own small bubble and they are not really listening to each other. The saddest follow up I have ever heard here - nothing will change in my opinion. Just sell everything, pay off the debt together asap, split the expenses 50/50 and start your relationship again on an equal level without looking to much in the past.

@lemondrop7305 3 месяца назад

Well if Jim is committed to being dishonest it’s not worth it for them to start all over lol

@Gioli565 3 месяца назад

Agreed!

@vulpixelful 3 месяца назад

"Just sell everything" would make it worse for Jim. It's not really fair that the convo briefly talked about how she should contribute more, then a lot of emphasis on selling assets _he_ wanted and worked hard to get. Buying new land acreage and setting it up to produce what you want is a whole process. The problem is that since he racked up the debt, it's only _his_ assets that are being treated as disposable. That's not right.

@glevando 3 месяца назад

@@vulpixelful If she had such a great life in California, why the divorce? Who initiated it? I don't think she's as pure and blameless as she makes herself out to be.

@TheSharmam 3 месяца назад

unfortunately, its difficult to reset relationships. cause the free loader party just revolt and make your life miserable in other ways and make you regret the "equality" you want to create.

@adambarnett4509 3 месяца назад

She wasnt ready to get married again. I think she knows it.

@cliffordl.4022 3 месяца назад

Why give up alimony for life? Can't you just date, cohabitate? It seems foolish.

@CH-bi8tl 3 месяца назад

Completely foolish 😂

@YourRichAuntie 3 месяца назад

Why she gave up $60,000 a year in alimony to move half way across the country to a state she doesn't want to live in with a man that earns a fraction of what she needs to sustain her lifestyle. Nothing really makes sense here or sets them up for a successful marriage. If you're going to work a "hobby job" where your husband pays all significant bills while your income is used for whatever, just say that then -

@sarahculbertson1541 3 месяца назад

I’m 15 minutes in, so may update this as I get further, but from tone alone she has SO MUCH contempt and he’s so defeated. This doesn’t seem to me like a man who is regularly overspending, and the majority of the things he mentions he spent on were for others (being the “provider” as Ramit pointed out). For me, the red flag of hers came when she didn’t question anything that was spent on them - house upgrades, vacations, car stuff - only when he spent on himself or more disturbingly when he spent on medicine for his mother. Maybe I’m missing some context of her relationship with Jim’s family, but of all the things to react to, helping a sick parent feels off. There is for sure financial betrayal here, but she’s coming in hot for this being information first discussed two months ago; I think her past betrayals are being triggered and she’s only coming from a place of self-protection (and wanting a third party to agree to validate her), not sure how open she really is to finding a resolution together 😞

@Capycorg 3 месяца назад

Almost at the end and you're totally right.

@marykaitlynclark-joseph4192 3 месяца назад

You are spot on, and that was very perceptive for only being 15 minutes in.

@DizZy-_x 3 месяца назад

Poor dude is going into serious debt trying to provide a lifestyle for this woman that “she used to have”. How about helping him with that 130k a year salary. Dudes ready to sell everything that makes him happy to keep this going.

@glevando 3 месяца назад

He should consider using the most powerful word in the dictionary more often; the word "NO"

@timothy900 3 месяца назад

It was really difficult to see how visibly happy she was to talk about selling all the things that made him happy, right up to the land. It was the happiest her voice was during the entire show and I found it alarming.

@DamianBadalamenti 3 месяца назад

@@timothy900She's not concerned with his happiness, she just cares about herself.

@dingding6066 3 месяца назад

All I see is negative comments about this man (even from financial people) but the CSP shows him spending 97% on fixed costs. Let's cereal, where do you think he would get money to spend on gifts, vacations, eating out etc. He has no money left after his basic expense but still, want to be a man (provider). You are enjoying the experience that you know he can't afford and then complaining that he is using credit to do it.

@joycef8443 3 месяца назад

It took me until the halfway point to realize Dana is the deluded one…Jimmy does not earn enough to support her in the lifestyle she once had and misses so much. I feel sorry for Jimmy.

@vulpixelful 3 месяца назад

The more recent comments have pointed out Jim's predicament, to my relief

@ceciliagonzales2572 3 месяца назад

OMG she is awful! If she was taught to be so good with money and had a lifestyle that she could be a SAHM then why would she even marry this man!!?! She’s just as guilty in having a hand in the debt they’re in as he is. You can’t feign ignorance about the spending and blame it all on him. She seems high maintenance.

@vulpixelful 3 месяца назад

I'm from their area and love it so I'm biased. But everyone's talking about Jim, and I agree he should have been more honest. But the way she talks down about the midwest and other body language seems like she's missing out on his statements that portray his lack of self esteem coming into the relationship. He said "I will never make that much money" when talking about her ex, and I feel like that was glossed over a bit. This probably hurt his pride a lot, to know that she was forfeiting her alimony when she married him, and he probably spent a lot to please this California lady. I think she could have done a better job reassuring him that he was enough, but I don't think she was fully self-aware of how she was coming across, and probably was signaling her dissatisfaction on the daily. A lot of people can adjust if they really try. We got woods, we got dunes, we have tulip blooms to check out in Holland MI. And so many farmer's markets 😂 Go on hikes, go kayaking, and enjoy the lower taxes 😊 But I don't think she was ready to accept her new life. Edit: She wants to live near water, and Michigan is literally a peninsula surrounded by lakes 😂 And the Carolinas are beautiful too, there are modern cities on or near the coast. She doesn't really want to compromise, from what we see here.

3 месяца назад

Also born and raised in MI. I'll always stay. We like to travel to other places, but this is definitely home. And SO much to do if you like water!!!

@brianlowy1976 3 месяца назад

You described what I was thinking. Also, I don’t think it’s in his nature to sell and move away from this lifestyle. And rent after owning for a lifetime? I don’t think so. If it wasn’t for the animals and maintenance, I would suggest living half the year in MI and the Oct -April in Cali.

@Capycorg 3 месяца назад

So agree on the lake. I'm a native Midwesterner who has spent quite a bit of time living on both coasts and while I love the ocean... People are too attached. Totally unreasonable of her to not give beautiful Lake Michigan a fair shake!

@harmonyandpurpose 3 месяца назад

I was struck at how Dana oozes contempt and disdain for her husband, especially in the last half of the video. Look at the scorn she expresses when he offers to move to the Carolina coast to make her happy. For him, it means abandoning his hometown and his family’s legacy (the land). For her, it’s not fancy enough, so she almost literally turns up her nose. At the same time, she waxes nostalgic about how good she had it with her ex. It must make him feel so less-than.

@applejellybean Месяц назад

I could hear the emotion in his voice that he isn't showing on his face. I really feel for this guy and hope he finds his happiness.

@ZekeValk 3 месяца назад

I would've liked to have heard the back story on how these two met. Sounds like a social media reconnection that brought her back to a place she lived for a few years growing up. It sounds like she she should've put more thought into whether she could be happy there. City mouse (west coast) moves to the country (Midwest) and gave up her nice spousal support plus a lot more. A lot of questions, but I could relate to Jim trying to stay connected to his family's heritage of farming and getting their hands dirty. It was a passing moment in the video where he said something like "our hands are all we have" - I know that came from his dad or his grandpa.

@ILovePlants33 3 месяца назад

I wondered too- how did they reconnect and how long until they chose to remarry. I'm guessing quickly.

@EndoExcision 3 месяца назад

Really honest of Ramit to say he got stuck with them. Nice work on this one.

@candecarro 3 месяца назад

LOVE LOVE the Claritan Ramit’s dad’s dog story- that’s a riot.

@judyfabion8849 3 месяца назад

That was a horrible story. Every child should have a dog to have comfort and learn responsibility. Telling your children a lie is not good.

@Nunya4567 3 месяца назад

@@judyfabion8849 children can learn responsibility in other ways. A dog isn't necessary for that.

@chelsea2690 3 месяца назад

Interesting episode - but I hope they can create a shared vision! Not just Dana's vision.

@samk.970 3 месяца назад

Yes, it has been only hwr vision and hope he stands up for what he wants too.

@The-Financial-Hooper 3 месяца назад

These are nothing short of brilliant and fascinating. Keep up the great work, Ramit

@krizak4421 3 месяца назад

I wonder why she got divorced from her first husband if she thinks about him and the lifestyle he provided so much.

@kbart9576 3 месяца назад

Sounded like the first husband cheated on her.

@Aquaria2291 3 месяца назад

@@kbart9576 maybe she should have just let him cheat in peace if a moneyed life in California is that important to her. 😭

@stampinprn 3 месяца назад

Sounds like the first husband not only cheated on her but also left her. I don’t think her divorce was her choice.

@Gioli565 3 месяца назад

Exactly! But it probably wasn’t her choice

@spf_500 3 месяца назад

😂 😂 😂 @@Aquaria2291

@1st-qt9ce 3 месяца назад

If a postnuptial is drafted. I hope he has independent legal counsel review it before signing . Considering: -1/2 the debt is hers and -1/2 of the money she has accumulated is his.

@Gioli565 3 месяца назад

Amen 👏🏻

@gurjeevanhothi6710 3 месяца назад

I was done after sold our dogs…

@chelsea2690 3 месяца назад

It sounds like Dana is willing to leave if Jim isn't granting her every wish - Jim has been put in a tough position and Dana hasn't even thought to offer to pay for more expenses as her income grew. Sounds like she's been spoiled and can't bare to live more simply... I hope they can come up with a shared vision that excludes comparison to her past lavish lifestyle.

@kendramcdow7821 3 месяца назад

Ramit, much respect! Thank you so much for highlighting social mobility and poverty in the US without the judgement and shame that is usually attached to the US working poor. As we individually increase our financial literacy, learn the "rules of the game" and grow our wealth its so important to keep in mind the structural and often unseen forces (discrimantory, anti-poor, racist practices codified as policies) that produce disparate generational outcomes on wealth building, even for people trying their hardest to "pull themselves up by the bootstraps". There is a reason the US among high income countries has the lowest social mobility and largest, most aggressive wealth gap.

@Sortofwriter 3 месяца назад

I wonder what his kids think of her. I was sad to hear that he still has kids at home and their stepmother hates her life.

@Arewawife 3 месяца назад

😢😢😢 this is really sad. He is really sad

@taniacopeland4335 3 месяца назад

His kids live with him for a reason why is there an assumption that they're going to get up and leave as soon as they can. Or when can they move out one if them is definitely around 12. She knew she married a farmer at heart why change him now. As she spoke he just had a look of devastation. Very sad

@samk.970 3 месяца назад

She didn't think through and now she wants to change him..but not herselfishness.

@SkatingwithAaron 3 месяца назад

I normally don’t comment on these videos but Dana is driving her husband into the ground. It’s wild to me that they don’t at the very least split their fixed costs, especially if she makes more. I understand using one income for bills and the other for savings, fun, etc, but that’s not what they’re doing. Sounds like they’re more roommates than anything and she is freeloading for all she can. This was tough to watch. He seems like a nice guy and needs to be direct with her on their overspending as a couple or it won’t change.

@Gpchv25 3 месяца назад

I actually enjoyed this episode very much. There is so much gray and nuance - honestly I think people who see a villain in either of them are wrong. Facing so much change later in life truly shakes a person - I can imagine how robust the opinion/worldview of someone in this stage of life is and they were both shaken by unexpected difficulties (her not feeling happy in the area, him facing disability/less income than before, etc). I see her conflict feeling the downgrade from her past life -- probably because it is!! And I see his need to keep paying for stuff he can't afford on his own -- because is what he wants!! Loss, nostalgia, shame... These are hard things to reckon with. I truly wish them luck and wisdom to ride the waves. ❤

@FrostyWitchGoddess 3 месяца назад

Totally agree with you!

@nora-.-g 2 месяца назад

Very compassionate and nuanced take! Thanks for sharing these thoughts

@Daveyjonesvi 3 месяца назад

I’ve not known a more incompatible couple

@Moneybug411 3 месяца назад

Am I the only one who thinks that all of it is a bit unfair? As far as I understood, he spend most of the money for both of them, vacation, food, car tires etc. He also paid the whole time the majority of the monthly fix costs and now he is the one who needs to suffer and sell the things he love? She sits there and could easily say ' here I give you 20k for the last 5 years I did not pay any rent/ mortgage and other fix costs'. I don't get most of these married couples anyways. They are married (for what exactly?) and still have their own bank accounts, don't trust each other and do their own secret debts etc. . In my opinion: if you are married you should share everything, if you don't and you feel uncomfortable or don't trust someone then you should not be married.

@anchalavasthi4881 3 месяца назад

She totally has the upper hand in this relationship. He’s desperate to stay with her. It’s sad 😢

@lowlowseesee 3 месяца назад

credit cards have accounts and we all know you can easily have the company email you the statement of what was spent or open the app or the website on desktop. there is really no excuse for not being able to figure out where the money went

@EWall1498 3 месяца назад

I get this feeling like they both know but don’t want to say. I watched the beginning after finishing when he’s listing off where the debt could’ve come from. She looks visibly uncomfortable when he mentions trips. I’m sure it’s not 100%, but some double digit percentage of that debt is absolutely stuff that was bought either *for* her or because of her. They said the division is mostly him paying needed expenses and her paying fun stuff. But if she’s paying for the fun stuff, why are the trips and expensive socks on HIS card? Sounds like the only fun stuff she pays for is her own.

@desertwind666 3 месяца назад

So he pays for all of his and her expenses and she spends some money on them having fun and the rest on her having fun. Then complains that he isn’t earning more and that she has to contribute at all. Then complains that he is hiding the fact that he can’t actually afford it. (Which he shouldn’t do but is it any wonder). Sounds like her og husband got tired of her living her rich life while he did everything. And all of her solutions are ‘sell the shit you care about’ instead of taking responsibility. ‘Never thought of paying to live in the house we share? BS! Oh… and he’s paying her tax?! So she keeps even more of her slice of pie and he keeps even less!!!

@SuperFoodParents 3 месяца назад

😶 She sounded like an old gold digger right up until the end of the episode 💰

@zoraster3749 3 месяца назад

Time to put the coffee on… it’s Tuesday morning ☕️

@tommymack3210 3 месяца назад

have you considered quitting coffee?

@SilviaArrambide 3 месяца назад

Same here ☕️💁🏻‍♀️

@prussedouce 3 месяца назад

What's wrong with coffee? ☕ @@tommymack3210

@doubleservings2890 3 месяца назад

Both my parents were horrible with money and it had the opposite effect on me so much so that I became the ultimate saver. No matter what my salary was/is I ALWAYS put money away even if it was only $5 a week. I understood it didn't matter the amount I was saving it was about not stopping the saving and only touching the funds in case of emergency. Because of this I have financial freedom to do things I enjoy without debt or worry.

@Mama2CDHsurvivor 3 месяца назад

1:07:13 when this episode started out, I thought he was irresponsible with money and she was responsible. I thought he was being deceitful. Then we find out that they have split finances and unfairly divided expenses. She’s living in that house rent free? But could easily afford to pay towards housing? No wonder he’s in debt. And why? Because he wants to “provide” and she thinks he should be “providing?” With an $18,000 a month income, all they need to do is combine income, redo their budget, cut out just a few things for a little while and they should be back on track. I hope Ramit does that for them because it’s just ridiculous that the husband is paying for every last thing.

@Allybaba55 3 месяца назад

They really just have different values all together. He likes his farm life in Michigan and she hates it. I'm confused why they even got married. And the fact she isn't contributing financially like at all is concerning. I hope he doesn't sell all his assets and they come up with another plan. Cause she's gonna divorce him no matter what.

@candecarro 3 месяца назад

Such a great couple- Jim’s talk about being poor struck me as he said he knew he was poor as the other kids were eating twinkies, etc., and he was eating homemade bread and homemade butter… I spend a lot of time with my 9-yr-old grandson in the summers and I feed him homemade bread, homemade yogurt, homemade spaghetti, homemade ice cream, pickles, sauerkraut (some of these things I’m just learning at 76). Because that’s the way I’m trying to live. But it’s purposeful. Not because I’m poor. Maybe his parents were purposeful in their simple homemade farm, self-sufficient life. Maybe some of that was his parents’ rich life. Can he look at his childhood from a different perspective?

@hypefine 3 месяца назад

Some of us pay extra for “homemade”. There’s nothing poor about making artisan crafted food stuffs made by loving hands. His perspective makes me 😞. There’s nothing more tasty and healthy than homemade. Poor is a feeling and a belief. Twinkies? Diabetic toxic treats proves wealth? Really? No.

@joycef8443 3 месяца назад

We now live the same as you. I am 75.

@vulpixelful 3 месяца назад

By the end of the summer, your grandson got to eat the sweets he was probably craving again. It's obviously different when it's a season vs year round as a child.

@candecarro 3 месяца назад

@@vulpixelful You’re right about the sweets - I’m only with him, typically, for one meal a day. I have no say over the food he eats at home, though his mom and dad are very vigilant about eating mostly real whole foods. Except ice cream. Twinkies? I used to love them!!! In the 1950s my mom always included a single twinkie in my lunch. What a treat!

@michellegreen1072 3 месяца назад

4:22 He wants to argue and correct dates and be heard but can’t tell his wife what he spent the money on, 3 times. 😢😢😢

@dingding6066 3 месяца назад

He spending 97% of his income on fixed costs. How else but credit card debt could he afford to pay for her tires, fix her ac, go on trips etc. She is the delusional one.

@obesia1873 3 месяца назад

Without watching the video, my guess is that its on hookers and hotel rooms

@droid2D2C3P0 3 месяца назад

@@dingding6066wow.. he literally says he bought cattle that failed, clothes for himself when she doesn't shop, gifts for others, tires for HIMSELF, medicine for HIS mom and he lied about being reimbursed for it, reduced income because HE was on disability, he admits to continuing to live the same lifestyle after taking a pay cut, HE pays for other people's meals while out, he admits that it's not her fault, and when she needed things that are not frivolous like fixing her car HE LIED TO HER about being able to afford it. Not only did you miss all the money HE wasted for HIM but you also missed the entire point of her complaints which is that he LIED TO HER, he HID THE DEBT FROM HER. Are you brain dead or do you just hate women!? Because those are the only two explanations for the utterly ignorant and idiotic take you just made.

@lizziethelemon 3 месяца назад

@@dingding6066 I definitely would not believe the thing about fixed costs costing that much. Receipts and bank statements tell a better story.

@KiingM 3 месяца назад

Most people who mess up get defensive in that manner. But watch the whole episode, it’s always a lot more complex than we initially think

@tg2540 3 месяца назад

They're such a mismatch, makes me wonder what she saw in him. FWIW, I wouldn't have given up alimony for life.

@lilio6442 2 месяца назад

She's honest, educated about money and knows what she wants. They don't share the same dreams or money beliefs. Realizing you gave up 5k alimony and aren't on the same page does sting. It's not nice but honest.

@IrisP989 3 месяца назад

At $225K a year they should have more money in savings.

@f3hk2a 3 месяца назад

He seems exhausted and as someone recovering from an entitled horrifically toxic relationship, I feel for him, he deserves better

@jjkatz 3 месяца назад

I felt bad for him. She talks down about him, like she’s so much better but has him paying all the bills.

@ihill6533 3 месяца назад

So easy to “propose” sell everything that doesn’t belong to you.

@jochenkraus7016 Месяц назад

Small addition: ...and doesn't mean anything to you. She also makes money so the could pay off cc together and make him promise to not go into debt again because he thinks he needs to offer a certain lifestyle.

@peach_gurl 3 месяца назад

I think this was a rough episode. I applaud Ramit’s handling of them. I imagine navigating this conversation was a delicate operation since it really seemed like they’re on the edge of divorce.

@tamid2225 3 месяца назад

I went through this same thing with my ex husband. Constantly lying about money, scapegoating me and our kids to get loans and sympathy for people. Financial infidelity is the worse, honestly I would rather be physically cheated on than to be with someone like that again

@MoneyMindsetCoach3 3 месяца назад

My ex husband was terrible with money, he made the majority of it so it was hard for me to control any of it. He had a bill me later account that i had no idea what the balance was, no access to it at all😌

@freeagentgirl23 3 месяца назад

Do say more sis. I don't think we hear about this enough. All everyone talks about is physically cheating and "my husband likes other women's photos online".

@meganmoon6197 3 месяца назад

So glad you picked up on that constant correcting in the beginning.

@shangyuanteng3306 3 месяца назад

They are not compatible to each other. How did they get married? She has the LA vibe. And he is a farmer. I guess love is not everything after all.

@lemondrop7305 3 месяца назад

A relationship needs more than love.

@savvyguy1353 3 месяца назад

Major comparability issues. It’s remarkable that she pays nothing and does not trust him with money. He is going to lose her either way

@Stephanie-vw3qq 3 месяца назад

If Dana's first marriage was so great, then why did she get divorced? This isn't a financial problem, it's a relationship problem. Dana and Jim want different things out of life. They'd be better off if they got divorced.

@mariaking4950 2 месяца назад

Why not contribute, lady, instead of selling all your husband's stuff that he loves?

@ellenk9604 3 месяца назад

He's going to lose everything that is his identity, i.e., his land, animals, equipment, farming activity and family heritage. I'm really sad for him. Don't do it, man. She has a lot of contempt for him and will end up leaving him anyway. "There are other fun things to do outdoors" shows she doesn't get the deep meaning and satisfaction of his life at all. She wants her California suburban life back and it will make him miserable. Most unlikeable person on this show to date.

@CJ-wj6fd 3 месяца назад

Something I learn from watching Caleb is not if someone can help you pay off your debt is the habit that is a line with that. Is the history! Or the behavior. You can pay your debt but has your behavior change that will keep you from spending in a stupid way!

@jenniferb8145 3 месяца назад

Everyone in this comment section is talking about how bad they feel for this woman and I agree he definitely should not have hidden the debt and been dishonest with her. But nobody seems to be discussing how difficult it must be for him that she is constantly comparing him to her old life and her ex-husband’s income and the life he provided for her. Sounds to me like she got into a relationship without knowing all the details and regrets it. It’s not fair to put that on him. And she had to have known that her current husband cannot provide the same life as her ex. and she still married him.

@jessicaeccles4059 3 месяца назад

Ramit, you are absolutely amazing as a coach. 🤗

@Sam-uj6pt 3 месяца назад

I'm sorry but she definitely threw him under the bus. Belittling him for being in debt but talking about how much $ her ex husband makes and how successful he is and yet doesn't have a problem having her current husband paying for everything

@glevando 3 месяца назад

Yes, marrying her was his first mistake. Unfortunately, his life is about to become even more financially dire once she files for divorce. Heck, he'll even end up paying her attorney bills I bet and get socked for alimony (which is absurd in this day and age).

@dagreatstoney.5869 3 месяца назад

I feel sorry for him , he married up socially, and both have different expectations, it's difficult for both

@DamianBadalamenti 3 месяца назад

She's never gonna be happy unless she learns to get over her past relationship. Jimmy will spin his wheels for decades and never make her happy.

@savvyguy1353 3 месяца назад

Agreed

@YourRichAuntie 3 месяца назад

How this woman didn't fly into a rage I don't know. The fact that he has no idea where the money went is so very troubling. I'm a Financial Advisor and typically when there is a nearly six-figure amount of money "missing" and secrecy around the funds- it's either drugs, gambling, or loose women. Or all three. I'd ask to see records to confirm that this money was spent in the way he claims. If she decides to stay married to this guy, I'd be pulling quarterly credit reports on this man and I could never truly trust him or his judgment again

@jessicag4940 3 месяца назад

yeah but she was on the trips with him including the trip to Italy just because she doesn't shop in Italy doesn't mean it was free to get there or stay there, and then she doesn't know how much tires cost and time two for both their cars, or repairing the furnace or basement upgrades etc etc so he was paying for the household so she doesn't have the debt on her cards because he pays for everything on his credit card, it is pretty easy to get into 80K in debt especially when getting a lower paying job and a higher mortgage payment.

@michellegreen1072 3 месяца назад

She’s better off just being on her own or someone else if she has to do all of that.

@YourRichAuntie 3 месяца назад

@@michellegreen1072 why she gave up $5K a month of spousal support to marry him, I don't know. She strikes as the type of woman "that just lets husband take care of it" and doesn't ask too many questions and either she can't or doesn't want to see that the numbers don't make any sense. I'm shocked Ramit didn't ask questions about 'willful blindness' in this situation. She has to watch him and clock her husbands pockets

@jessicag4940 3 месяца назад

@@YourRichAuntie pretty much she does not pay to live, she just pays to play, and then wonders why they are in debt because she doesn't contribute to the household. So while it sounds good for her to leave, she would actually have to pay for her to live so she will actually feel how her money has to pay for living expenses ... like actually pay a mortgage for the first time in her life and a bill... she currently only pays for insurance... he was even paying her business quarterly taxes until recently.

@VBoo459 3 месяца назад

@@jessicag4940 Exactly. In the end, they're both bad. He tries to live beyond his capabilities for the sake of expectations, meanwhile she's airy fairy gone with the wind and leaves it all to him, then chokes when she sees how he can't handle it. They need to team work.