► WTF Is... - Citadels ? 

Need For Speed: Catapults

In fairness to the language issue in the game (the characters not speaking English), the language as we know or it, or even the version Shakespeare knew, wouldn't have existed at the time King Arthur was supposed to have been around.

His last words sum This game, Ride 2 hell and Guise of the wolf...

Good job I barely discussed the graphics then

"well, where to begin?" *instantly goes to options menu*

"V-tech just kicked in yo" That just cracked me up xD

Lol, this was hilarious. Thanks for the heads-up TB. It sounded good on paper but was waiting for someone to talk about it.

OMG i couldn't stop laughing at the guys chasing the catapult, perfect Benny Hill moment

Thank you, you just saved me some money :-) Keep it up TB

I worked for the developer Games Distillery and was testing the game (we were small company and my actual job title was something else). I came here again to remember the brilliance of Total Biscuit, and this game is a closest connection to him I have. I love his videos and was fan long before he made this review/first look. When I saw it I was thrilled and amused then he was pissed by this game several videos later. I agree this game is unfinished and actually a crap. The game was released during development by our publisher without our knowledge (they used some build we sent them to show what is done so far).

This is just one of the funniest wtf's in a good long while. Thank you TB.

You should do more of this, very humorous in my opinion.

You can get stronghold 1,2,3 and 4 expansions for $9 .

Almost bought this.

Ty for saving me a ton o' money. Would also love a couple more single draft disaster vids.

Was looking at that on steam, glad I waited on this vid

This Game looks the same if not slightly worst than Age of Empires 2, And that game came out when O.o.

a age of empires and stronghold rip off to me. To bad it sucks, cuz it looked pretty good

i've never seen such a funny Lets Play :D your voice is much better as the game :D TotalBiscuit for President!

Page 15 of the manual (available using hyperlink on the game's Steam page) says this: "You can select a group of units which you want to assign to a number on the keyboard, or add single units to the group by holding down CTRL and left clicking on the unit. Once your group is selected, you can assign it by pressing CTRL and a number on your keyboard. You can now select the group by simply pressing the assigned number key." FWIW.

Waiting for a good Empire Earth sequel.

Miss you total.

I highly enjoyed this video. lol I really wish you would bring back why do I own series. I enjoy your justified rage and pointing out bugs.

I didn't mean on the minimap, I meant being able to see them. There's the stone within his view that he can see and is collecting, and as he scans around, there are other similar looking spots which lead me to believe stone would be there, but he can't see the stone because he hasn't explored there.

Don't get me wrong, this game was terrible and had a lot of problems at launch that it shouldn't have had. But I also don't think every RTS game should be copying Starcraft either... I've always hated SC's way of just plopping you down next to all the resources you're going to need, then having you semi-mindlessly spam units.

this game dont even deserve a review lol

I cracked up, when he mentioned Stronghold Crusader as the supposed "last good castle building game we had", after having already mentioned Battle Realms in this episode.(on which he did a "This is why we can't have nice things" a while back) TB never seizes to amaze with solid knowledge of past titles.^^

I must admit that seeing the siege engines run away form the knights was hilarious.

This game is from slovakian game company ? Well, it doesn't surprise me, that it's shitty game... We (Czech republic) can make really better games than this (like Kingdom Come) , and our neighbours (Slovakia) make really shitty games.

haha total biscuit is so spoiled by games that lack intuition. This is a bad game deff, but really he cant find iron ore? It isnt that hard.

I could watch watch this a dozen times and still laugh my ass off, oh wow.

Loved TB's reaction at the end of the video :D

Catapult Tokio Drift classic, thank you sir. I needed that laugh and thank you for saving my wallet from a medieval train wreck. It's sad I love medieval rts's. Thank you for that comment about castle building, I'd suggest knights of honor on steam it's awesome

I do hope they keep coming up with games in the future, just for the sake of new reviews. Lovely episode.

TB, how exactly do you spell that soul-crushing groan you let out at 10:47 in the video? It was masterful.

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE WOOD!?" love that lol

thank the gods for Totalbiscuit! When i saw this game on Steam, i was so excited because it appeared to be a Stronghold style castle-builder, which nobody seems to have wanted to make since like 2002. Dont developers realize there's a huge market chock full of people that want to build/attack castles?? So this game seemed like a wet dream of mine come true - until totalbiscuit skewered it, and rightfully so. Hilariously so. 10 patches later, I'll pick it up for 5.00 on a steam sale.

Thank You! Age of Empires is the main game a played when I was a child. It brings back memories.

Thanks for the review, it was very helpful.

Man I would literally kill for a good Castle builder that allowed me to build pretty much anything and manage my army and everything.

The chases really needed the Benny Hill theme playing in the background.

I loled so hard for watching this, nice work TB.

Oh man, that's so bad that if it were cheap, I might pick it up for the laughs. Thanks TB, great and hilarious review!

That catapult fight would have been much better with the Benny Hill chase theme playing in the background.

oh god the laughter i had at "catapult tokyo drift"

i like the way you rage biscuit XD

I laughed so hard at the siege engine chase, cause the Benny Hill chase music popped in my head

Just when I though you were going to finish it with "My name has been TB"... "It's crashed!" XD

The ground texture looks great when I watch this on my phone!

Best Video in a good while .

I can't wait to hear what you have to say about that new Space Hulk that just went on to Pre-Purchase on Steam.

I would find it hilarious if, at the end, you could hear him trow his mic/headphones/something away and just walk out of the room, without saying a word

I'm not sure if they're grunts or sighs, but they're awesome.

I just love it that games like this get released. Hearing TB tear it to shreds makes my day.

So, because it's from a small, not-as-well-known dev team, that automatically makes it worth a purchase? Well, by your logic, that makes Revelations 2012, Amy, Orion: Dino Horde, Stalin vs Martians, You Are Empty, 3D Cartoon Land Safari and Super Monster Bros worth playing as well!

So if I'm looking for another RTS and already own starcraft, where should I be looking?

Ok, TB was 'faulty' at the showing resources on map. But I think what he implied (and said) was how could he find it when he doesn't know what it looks like because "IT DOESN'T HAVE A TOOLTIP!" -TotalBiscuit 2013

"The game has crashed! IT CRASHED!". Perfect ending. laughed my ass off.

>doesnt know what im talking about >likes to be involved >these are based on me >i have heat contracted urctaria

There needs to be fan art of soldiers chasing a lone catapult. XD

This game reminds me seriously of a game called Warrior Kings ages ago. It was one of my favourite childhood games.

Agreed, good sir. And the Benny Hill theme is called Yakety Sax, for future reference.

QA is Quality Assurance, it's not what you think though. It's simply: "Does it run without crashing too many times"... that's it.

Y'know, I was going to say TB might be getting a little harsh on the game. And then... "I can't kill it! I can't catch up to the catapult!" Wow. Just wow. "It still hasn't caught the catapult, by the way." That's got to be the silliest thing I have ever seen in an RTS. And I've seen all the Kane cutscenes from Command & Conquer. "It's healing itself! I can't kill it!"

if you arent being sarcastic, i will explain. King Arthur who the base of the whole Arthurian aspect is from is from England. And also basically every game with a similar aspect have English as its language.

Checkout Banished. Currently in development. Not sure about the warrior side of things, but from a builder/harvester perspective it looks amazing.

The premium 'Turn around and buy anything from Warcraft 1, SC:BW, Cossacks, AOE up to SC2:hots for an infinitely better experience' simulator.

Hahaha "V-Tec just kicked in yo" I'm dying, stop!

Loved the ending, lol.

He doesn't bitch about them, he reviews the games and he's pretty accurate, reason why people turn to him for information. He just says it as it is, no sugar coating.

"Avoid at all costs" is pretty damning. I wonder if they'll put that on the box?

"photon man" makes all your catapult-problems go away

TB, can you please do an episode about castlestorm? It is released tomorrow on Steam and i am not 100% sure weather to buy it or not. greetings from germany :)

This video was so good, I laughed a lot

I'm so freaking glad for waiting on what TB has to say about it.. Again it pays off! :D Total Biscuit, thank you for your existence!!

Empire Earth is actually 12 years old now. I loved that game to death, shame the sequels were nothing like the original.

I love watching these...

a LOT of people can't play games that have low FOV so i'm very happy with him taking those 5 minutes to look at one of this biggest benefits we get from PC gaming.

TB uses dual NVIDIA Titan's. This is only because he runs 1 for game graphics and 1 for recording. The best graphics cards in general (according to the passmark website which tests them) are currently the NVIDIA Titan, NVIDIA GTX 780, NVIDIA GTX 770 and the NVIDIA GTX 680

I was laughing my ass off at chasing the catapult around 6mins.

This games terrain looks pretty much like my first texturing job for terrain ever. It was also nearly my first texturing job period.

Are you serious? The Town Hall, the Windmill with a bunch of farm land around it. The terrible walls. Looks pretty similar.

thank you for the heads up on this disaster.

Thanks for the review and for saving my money :)

Look at Kerbal space or Prison architect. Now those developers have a very strong idea and a community behind it. If the developers of citadels gets a response from the community saying we want different color peasants, thats 30 minutes of work its just no one knows. The catapult faster than melee units, again thats some number on a spreadsheet,takes 5 seconds to tweak it. The 40 dollars is for the core game, yes its expensive but they need to buy food and keep a roof over their heads.

Agreed. I even liked the expansion, although the "starships" were basically a different type of naval vessel. Hey TB: I *do* kinda like the idea of being able to use raw resources or needing to refine them for higher-tier units. As you mentioned, though, it's been done (a la Pharaoh). I also liked the artistic style of Citadels. Aside from the obvious "Where's mah peasants?!" issue, it looked very characterful. Too bad it sucks blueballs....

They didn't advertise the game, it came out what like 3 days ago and its playable atm. Right there shows what the end product will be,however the developers are posting that they are actively fixing the game, small performance issues, tool tips, fixing levels...its all on the way within the first week. If they sold it for 9.99 they release and walk away, for 40 you gt patches and an active community. I dont think the game will ev er compare to the great RTS games but its definitely playable

Archers have a hard time hitting things because of the physics in the game where the arrow will not just lock onto the enemy it was targeted at

Because most game reviews tend to go over the game as a whole, whereas what TB does is go through a segment from the beginning of the game and give his thoughts based on that, without going for the idea that it might get worse later. Going over the whole thing is the label the term "review" carries in popular culture at the moment, so that's why TB makes the distinction all the time. First impressions in gaming do count, after all.

1. Buy the game expecting something awesome. 2. Build huge epic walls to keep enemy out. 3. The enemy run through them. 4. Rage. 5. ??? 6. Go back to step 1.

one thing i think the video game industry sees alot more of than other businesses , is the lack of understanding. Not every game can be a homerun, not every developer manages his team and resources perfectly and not every good looking game can become a franchise. In the RTS genre you get more of the grown up kid than the actual 7 year old cursing at you which certainly has is downsides, we all feel entitled to a great game, if the developers are happy and 1 customer is satisfied they succeeded.

It was published bitcomposer, essentially allowing it to just straight up bypass the Greenlight system. Steam has a lot of issues with how content gets on to it.

Btw Biscuit, I was wondering what you thought about Medieval Lords: Build, Defend, Expand. Apart from the other game you mentioned Stronghold Crusader which was just epic, this is a slightly bit different, but very good itself. Btw to answer your question, we havn't had a good castle building game since Stronghold Crusader because companies are releasing games that are complete crap by the bucket loads these days..

In MMO terms, TB is the main tank between us and the untamed beast that is the gaming industry. We need to keep healing him so he can save us from unnecessary damage. :P

i was playing this game and i almost died... really i almost suffocated from laughter!

That catapult has some sick micro.

10:45 LOL Dat "Urgh....." XDD

That Catapult micro :))

"VTEC just kicked in!" slayed me.

4:31 the hysterical brit