He didnt even have to give them money from the sale, but he still did, despite them letting him know that he wasn't their parent. He's more generous than I would've been. I wouldn't have given them anything. 🤷🏿♀️
You are wrong for something tho’. And that’s giving them $10k. Should’ve just gave them a quick notice. You not their parent according to them. So why they living in a strangers house at 21
I won't blame him. He even gave them quite a good amount to start a new life on there on. And All kids are above 20 years. Time for them to touch some grass outside though.
@@matoiiveyy200510k is enough to at least find a place to live in the U.S. They are adults so they should have a job and if they aren’t living too out of their means then they should be fine since all 3 of them are pulling their money together for an apartment.
@matoiiveyy2005 but there are adults and not even his kids, nor do they consider Op as their father, he was very generous and kind heart it to give 10k, they can rent each their own small apartment and then find work.
Naaah I'm in my early 20's and still waiting with my mom I stay bc my mom and me are like best friends and child and mother so I stay even if my gf From the US comes to my County we stay at my mom place for a while before buying our own home.. it's ok to stay if u love each other and help
Obviously they didn't save no money if they're going to be broke within a year they totally took advantage of you and their mother I hope one day they grow up and realize what a blessing they had😮
No, he was nice enough to let them stay for a while despite them being disrespectful. Then he even gave them $10,000 on top of that, which he didn't have to do. By doing this, he is no longer enabling them to be lazy. This will (hopefully) help them learn responsibilities and not be so disrespectful to those who help them.
OP was more than generous. He let then continue to live their despite being told he wasn't their relation and them doing nothing to help take care of that home. He let them stay and save money. If they weren't making the most of that while they could than hopefully this will become a good lesson for them.
10 years and he still wasn't seen as a parent? How do we know he didn't act entitled to their respect as soon as they tied the knot? How do we know he didn't pull the "I'm your dad now so you have to do as I say" line? 🤨
Not wrong. They are an adults. They can live their lives any way they want. And you can go and do what you want. If they want a relationship from you. They can look you up.
It depends. Did the guy move in the house the woman owned before their relationship? Then yes, he is the AH because he sold a house he didn't help build basically. If he AND the woman bought the house after they got married, then he is NTAH.
I was thinking that too initially but after listening a second time to the part where he said that “the prices had gone up since I bought it, so I could retire to the Phillipines” so it was his house, so perhaps she met him and moved in with her children x hope that explains things more and don’t worry, I thought the same myself at first, I was thinking it was the children’s family home or something
@@ChanelCoco-pk7mp I don't know, I would check if I were the Moral Police 😆 people on reddit have a tendency to portray their situations in a favorable way and quite often it's these sort of situations that make children (adults or not) crossed with the widow/widower. It's 3 kids vs 1 guy. One could be upset, 2 could be upset, but all of them? That just signals to me that this guy is keeping out some parts. We will never know for sure
1. They are adults. 2. They have a parent, and you raising them doesn't count for anything apparently. 3. They are adults and have jobs. 4. They are adults The fact that you gave them anything is more than enough. You had shiftless roommates. And since you charged them nothing, they SHOULD have savings. Tell em kick rocks....respectfully of course.
The fact that they all made sure you knew you weren’t a father figure to them for the last 10+ years & you still chose love and to still act as the father figure you truly are, by giving them each $10K…..ThEN they have the AUDACITY to be upset with you. In the end tho, this will probably be the best lesson you ever teach them.
NTA. You told them exactly what was happening and even gave them money to prepare. If they dont see you as family why would they want to live with you anyway?
No, you're not in the wrong. They're grown adults. They never treated your house as a home. They just treated it as a place to live. Ungrateful people don't deserve anything.
They are so lucky that you allowed them to live there as long as you did and my word the fact that you gave them each $10,000 when they don't seem like they deserved a single cent from you. Not in the wrong
I have both my dad and my step dad. I treat them both with the same amount of respect, my stepdad came into my life in my 20s and hes been amazing with myself my sister and our kids. I love them both dearly and I'm so lucky to have such wonderful men in my life. ❤
I’m 25 and I have friends and cousins the same age who complain about their parents. I always respond “when you get your own castle, you can be the queen/king of your castle” It literally does not matter if the person who’s allowing you to occupy their space is actually irrational, bitchy, mean, crazy whatever negative adjective there is out there. At the end of the day, it’s their home and they have a right to be as crazy as they want in their home so if you don’t like it, go get your own damn place.
How long do you suppose they’d sponge off you if you did nothing? Forever? While they spent all their earnings on vacations and cars while contributing nothing to the household, not even food? My mom had a friend whose two adult daughters did that. They both had good jobs and could have easily gotten their own place each. But instead they bought fancy cars, one even a second car that she INSISTED had to be kept in the garage because it was to nice to be in the driveway. Neither paid rent or food or anything in the household. Every year they’d spend 2 weeks in an exotic location at a nice resort. While mom worked 40 hours a week, paid for the house, did their laundry and bought them food. I think that’s disgusting!
You did right. You did not even owe them the money. The are grown adults. Even if they had been your biological children you would not have owed them. Your money
You are very generous. Maybe too generous. You did the right thing to move. They are too big to be living off of you. They need to grow up. You're doing them a favor. Have a nice retirement!!!!!
Another lesson to never date a person with kids. If you dont have any, it's like playing Russian roulette some kids are grateful some treat you like a walking ATM and nothing more.
Wow, them retiring in the Philippines that easily like it’s Hawaii or something just bothers me sm when most people from the Philippines can’t even afford to get housing themselves. The privilege, y’all.
If they where allowed to be totally useless around the house, they never needed to learn what to do to ceep it organized and clean - this is the fault of the adults/(step-)parents who did not take theire responsibilty to make them self sufficient. Don't wanting to live with adults, who are hard to bear: totally understandable! But who let them grow old like that? Who should have used the Chance to make them responsible and good persons?
I would advise you to make sure they can't get anything out of your will what if you have a child or maybe a niece or nephew or cousin that you wish to leave everything to
NTA They are fully functional adults. I think giving them money was kind but please live your life to the fullest. Life is too short to waste with people who treat you like dirt. Go away perhaps they will appreciate you more when they have a chance to miss you. Also the country their birth father is in sounds like a nice spot. 😂
Nta. Not at all. And you gave them two rent and expense free years. AND gifted them with a generous start up fund. What a mench! Considering the attitude they have for you. Please do not give they a second thought and go live your best life in your cabin.
If your wife intended for you to give them more she would have made provisions. Since the house was in your name it was yours to sell. If 3 adults with jobs want to live together in an apartment they can do so. My friend has a Filipino DIL who is very family oriented and just wonderful. From what she has said about the culture, I understand why you woukd go back when you retire.
$30k between all three? That should’ve been fine considering a chunk of monthly spending is rent and they can split three ways. They can last two years plus two of them have jobs.
Those kids are lucky! Even just to get 10k. In my family, the rule is the day you graduate high school you have to pay rent to your parents (the same price as the area around you) or you get kicked out, and you can’t get support from family or friends. My cousin unfortunately couldn’t pay rent to my aunt so he got kicked out and is homeless.
I see all those people defending him. Im just gonna look at the other side. It would be nice for them to have spoken about it to them before he did it. Those house has so many memories of their mother. He is kind to give them the money but still it would have been just basic respect to talk to them
10k is plenty for them each to be able to rent a room and get a job. They wont starve in the meantime. If they squander it, thats on them, theyre adults
