10 Reasons Why INFJ Life STINKS 

I think one of the hardest things about INFJ is making a living. So many jobs depend on popularity and speed, which feels unsustainable for the slow, loner INFJ.

1. INFJs love to help people 2. INFJs have knowledge on many topics 3. INFJs are quietly opinionated 4. INFJs have a strange sense of humor 5 INFJs can fit in with just about anyone and converse about almost anything 6. People think INFJs are lazy because we do “nothing” 7. INFJs can pickup on everything in social interactions 8. INFJs are weird being closed doors 9. INFJs are clumsy 10. INFJ life can be lonely

I prefer being alone, it’s not lonely.

When you said "we live life on the edge...of the couch" I cried laughing. 🤣

46 an raised "navy brat"by 2 narcissistic parents,shamed my whole life . THEY NEVER BROKE MY SPIRIT! I FEEL BLESSED I FINALLY HAVE A INFJ TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO MYSELF. I lead wit my heart an good intentions,if OTHERZ dont see me. Its not my problem anymore. Appreciate you

I hate when people think they can help us, but it comes from a patronising/superior perspective.

👻The ghosting does not come as a surprise anymore but it is hurtful and really discourages me from wanting to make friends.

Unfortunately, our generosity is often taken advantage of and our kindness misraken for weakness.

I know I'm hilarious! I crack myself up all the time!

As an INTJ a lot of this is familiar. INFJs are rare jewels.

INFJs can lead great lives. I'm this way, and so is my wife! I don't give advice though, it can be tempting but it just never seems to be recieved the right way. I'm definately opinionated, but if people don't "get it", I don't care. After all, what have I lost? Avoiding pointless relationships and the general time wasting of average folks if a big strength of INFJs.

I laughed out loud when you said "Hey, that doing nothing you're talking about, that's called "thinking"." When people have said in the past that I think too much, I always say, no, the problem is that everyone else in the world does not think enough 😂

Yes people think I am lazy 😢but I just don't have so much energy them others and I am easyly overhelmed with to much noise social ect

Can you please make a video as to why INFJs lives are GREAT? 🙏🏾❤

Many times I've thought I'd made a new friend....NOT! I have one good friend but will not let others in, I know, sad but true. Just got tired of getting hurt.

I have decided that at my age (70s)I am a Watcher and Listener above all else, resisting the temptation to try to help in some way. I’ve been through a lifetime from toddlerhood on hearing,”What’s wrong with Annie?” beginning with my mother, who needed me to be a supreme extrovert hell bent on fame, power,and material treasurers. I was raised to think of my natural tendencies as an illness and lethargy. Oh, if they only could have read the thoughts going through my mind. Thank you so much for the help of reframing.

I finally know why I am so clumsy.

I agree we love that fine line between serious and joking. It’s such a great place.

The only problem, as an INFJ, I have is, people getting dumber and dumber, I am an older millenial and saw the world before when Internet, when people used to have values. I couldn't help people anymore because they have become so dumb to understand thing and above all criticizing me. I really feel sorry for Gen-Z and humanity, We know that human IQ is decline since late 2000s and it is getting harder and harder to make them see things. With all the Internet, its getting more tougher!

This is the first channel I found that makes me feel like I'm cool for being an INFJ. Thank you! :)

Our humor is the best 😂 just trust us 🤣 The fine line 👍😊🙃

Being excited to see that one person you had a great conversation with, only to see a timid/"Don't talk to me"-look. I get that a lot, right next to: feeling as if you are always trying to catch-up to yourself; always trying to find a better way; and warning someone that they have to do something or … is going to happen, they ignore you, the thing happens and they accuse you of being heartless for not panicking like they are ( that last one happens way too much).

Everyrhing you say is describing me (and all of you other INFJ:s out there) to the point. This is exactly how I am. I have felt so damn alone and sad and misunderstood. I could not understand why people got angry with me when all I did was seeing their problem and solving it for them. They didn't want that and for the last 5 years or so I have intentionally stopped myself from helping and have been quiet in coversations so I don't overshine others. It's not what I really want, but it is easier this way. Still very alone though, since acting like that is, acting, and not the weird me that I actually am.

I could listen to you all day.

3:39 (or thereabouts): YES! Not that I have a problem with what went on before, but wow! People start thinking I'm making up things, stalking them to find out what their interests are and then studying them just to appear as if I am interested in them too and all sorts of things. Sometimes, they start testing me - without announcing it- and then turn to someone else and say "I see what you mean. She does have something to say on eveyr subject." and then tell me that no one does that naturally. RUDE! When I was a kid, sometimes people would visit our home and then get all bristly and say things like, "People in your family think they know everything." and Mom (or someone else) would say, "We don't think we know everything. We do think if we don't know it, we know how to look it up." And, they would freak out! Why is it so wrong to be interested in life and pay attention to it?

Wow, you know us INFJ's so well! I have never felt so understood especially when you say how our intentions with our intuition are to help but then they become angry at us for giving that help and it's probably because they want to remain at the status quo. I have felt over and over that I want people to just validate and appreciate my intuition when I share it (to help them obviously) but it's matched with an energy of animosity/opposition. Thank you so much for this channel and allowing a space for people like us to feel understood perhaps for the first time in our lives.

I’ve been ghosted so much.

My daughter is 5 and she is just now finding out about that joke line. She's ESFJ... she asked me the other day when I was picking on her "mommy... you're joking aren't you?" I laughed bc she got my sense of humor. It's only happened once but I will treasure it.

I have a hard time thanking people for their compliments.

I didn't come here thinking I was some kind of leading man box office hero. But I seriously relate to these ten issues

Infjs in my neck of the woods gets bullied a lot and Targeted. Yes this life for us is hard.

I think best for writing stories when I am just lying around. My ideas come naturally when I am relaxed.

Since I hit my 40’s, I am even more INFJ than ever…. I tick every single box. It’s kind of scary, lol. Just found your channel yesterday and I am enjoying your videos immensely. Thank you. ☺️

Great video. I actually would like to be something else more common though, rather than INFJ. I took the test 8 times over the years, and from different places, but always came out INFJ. My spouse is ISTJ, and I see how much everyone loves him instantly and wants to be his friend. I've had people tell me they admire my high standards and they like knowing that people like me exist, but that without even trying, I make them feel "less than", just by being who I am. That really does stink.

I would 💕 to marry a fellow INFJ (no pun intended 😉) and have some real-life in person INFJ friends. My (non) family shamed me for being a know-it-all when I was very young. Thanks for bringing that honourable trait to the forefront. Signed Idiot-Savant.

Thank you so much for INFJ content from a real person! So much content on RU-vid, especially in the self help arena, are just text to speech. INFJ's love the eye contact and seeing the sincerity in someone's face is huge for me. Also, thank you for not rehashing the same lists and for putting your own spin into things. The clumsiness thing happens to me a lot, but I've isolated it to times when I am trying to piece something together in my head that I just can't seem to get off the stove. But even on the backburner, I find myself (more recently) able to identify what is happening and do a quick mindfulness check to snap me back in. Another point I identified heavy with is our "moral code" and holding people to my own personal standards. Learning how to drop that expectation of others has changed my life dramatically for the best. While I identify with every single point you made strongly, I plan to go through your other videos for more kernels of wisdom :) That said, have you ever done content on the way our brains and thought patterns are organized in a web-like way? Often, I think of how my world around me (especially in the workplace) is like a web, and I can sense disturbances and shifts across my whole web. One unhappy face sends my mind into Perry Mason mode, trying to trace things backward to a source. Unconsciously, every time, my brain just kicks into that gear. I saw a video from another INFJ RU-vidr about this, but I would be really interested to hear your take on it! Great video and thank you!

Why? How? You know EVERYTHING about my life!!!! 😮 I feel seen and understood completely ❤

The thing I realate the most that I live on the edge of the couch. I eat, sleep, watch TV , study, work from my couch.

We do have an awesome sense of humor.

I just wrote in my journal, "I love my life and will never hate my life because of other ppl's behavior again. I wrote that down with conviction and then this video popped up! Thank you for these explanations, I wondered if ppl who are suppose to be experts get intimidated by my knowledge and passion. Thought it was my imagination. And the "appearing to be quiet or seemingly small, and then when you come out of your shell--ppl feel deceived perhaps? Or mad because they got comfortable with their own perception of you which was never real!

Spot on! People just do not want to do the work in order to improve themselves and their situations. So it's frustrating for us when people don't take our advice! Especially when you relate to the same experience. And yes, people do not get our humor! I love it! HA! People are so shocked when they talk with us on an individual basis--always completely different than they think.

Right, so accurate. EVERYONE around me wants a Johnnie Carson quip to cause everyone to hee haw and then go on to the next clever one liner, even with a suddenly deep subject. Someone automatically believes the conversation needs to be sewn up and discarded with a 3 second joke, then onto the next subject. How do they skim life like that? And I mean all the way to the grave.

Being alone and lonely are two totally different things. We ❤ our solitude. Conversations are hard with superficial people. It’s scary how you said we analyze people when we meet them. We do. We are clumsy.😂 I told my boyfriend “if I don’t have to deal with the sensory world ever again I wouldn’t.”😂

Im beyond greatful for this channel

Sucks when you have communication issues within your own marriage for some of these reasons. 😞

‘Why we have to run home and recharge, after almost every…’ ! I thought it was just me.

Oh the looks I sometimes get when I tell what I conceider a joke, oh man. As for large social gatherings, they are exhausting (small gatherings don't seem to be so overloading and draining), think it is too much input all at once (That may be a simple reason). Now that I am socially overloaded I up in "lazyville" or whatever they want to call it. However it is not "lazyville" at all, it is reading time, music time, to-do list time and whatever else time that aids in the recharging for the next social sensory overload. Being INFJ is not easy and can be complicated at times however it does have its upsides too especially once you understand how those upsides can work for you and others. Feel like I wrote a small novel here and I had more to say. So much for being a quiet INFJ.

Oh my you are reading my mail 😂😂😂. I have seen all these things in myself since I was a child. Always knew I was different but you, my friend, have helped me understand myself at the ripe old age of 72. I'm a slow learner 😅😅😅. Keep it coming. I am enjoying every minute 😁♥️

I remember when I was an Arts and Design student and we have role play to do. We didn’t practice anything and. I just stayed all night thinking each person will do in details and instruct them what to do the next morning. Our teacher was surprised that we didn’t have any props prepared compared to other groups ahahhaah turns out ours was the mindblowing act since it’s refreshing that the members are the one that became props 🥹

THAT FINE LINE BETWEEN SERIOUSNESS AND BEING SILLY OMG..SoOOoOoOOooOoo oO funny, but also sucks when people don't get us. I remember having this sense of humor since i was rlly young. In first grade, i was in the school play, playing "the star of the sea," a real big-shot. Well, i was a little bit nervous having that part because my two best friends got a really tiny part, where they say jokes only during the intermission, whereas i was saying lines the whole time. I was a real big-shot, haha. Anyways, i was not that way at all in real life. Actually i acted the opposite way, but still grabbed at the opportunity. When we went to recess one day, when we got to the playground, my friends were asking what we wanted to do. I cant remember what it was, but i think i said that i wanted to choose, because "im the star of the sea" hahahaha. Actually it was just my turn to choose, because they had chosen so many of the last times, and i thought they would understand that, and by no means i was being serious. Like i said, normally i was quiet and had gone along with whatever they wanted. I was surprised they didnt laugh, actually, and hurt that they thought that was really "me." I was making a joke. Anyways, well, they ended up doing their own thing, and i started crying by myself underneath the playset. I thought that was fitting though, under the playset, for the play's "under the sea" theme, and i was definitely the "star" down there, because no one was around but me 3:03

Yes we like the edge. Great 👍 video! You’re spot on. I like me. I like my skin. I like my pjs. My home is off limits to the rest of the world. Not lonely but never want to be disturbed. 5:00pm door gets locked,

this all made sense to me from the start.

I wasn’t sure if I was INFJ but this video has convinced me that I am. I can relate to every point. 😃

nice to hear a realistic video, not sugar coated! thanks!

You are always spot on with describing my life as an INFJ. I was laughing for most of the video. Thanks for posting.

Yes I Have experienced that "think you have a friend to talk to" thing, many many times.

Absolutely spot on everything your saying are all the things i deal with on a daily basis 👏🏻👏🏻 The one thing I’ve always said i wanted putting on my gravestone was Misunderstood

Exactly ! Most people dont get my jokes they think im Serious🤣🤣🤣

Thank you Jay for great video. Recently I took some test and figured out that I am INFJ. I was so much relief to discover that fact because all my life I thought that I am so much different than other people in my environment. Now I try to protect myself from gossiping and other nonsense things and toxic people. Especially narcissist. Don't try to give help or advice to everyone. Also finally I don't care if somebody who knows me superficial think that I am selfish. I just want to be in good and positive environment and protect myself, keep energy and nerves. Somebody who wants to really know me and be part of my life will need to make some efforts.

Great channel! I just figured out I'm an INFJ. You are very knowledgeable and insightful on this subject. I have a better understanding and appreciation of myself now! I just thought I had ADHD)

I think picking up a lot of, if not all cues in social interactions rings true for me. I used to think that I wasn't able to pick those things up, but turned out I realised I was rather good at it. And it's... frustrating that at times I pick up a lot of cues that just goes against what I want or hoped. ANd it can be really painful when that happens. And oh my God, clumsy is very true too. I know people around me they don't have the tendency to be physically clumsy. Me, on the other hand, I keep dropping stuff or forgetting to flush the toilet or something. It's... more funny than stink. unless, you keep dropping a fragile expensive objects I suppose. Thankfully, I just drop nail clippers, matches, cigarettes, bag, etc.

3:29 oh yes… I can match people’s energy and their personalities on command. I can talk about anything to anyone. This helps me in my nursing career a lot. I can find a way to connect with most ppl within minutes.

This is a really good channel. Thanks mate. 🙏🏻🕺🏿

You’re my hero!! I’m over here like “tell me more about myself!” Lol

I just do not belong and gave up the fact of finding like minded because I found out I am just better alone. I like being alone. The rejection for how smart you are is real. Aka just be quiet.

Did the personality test many years ago, but never knew why I was ‘different’, I have dyscalculia also, and process info a bit differently. Though I was a bit of a freak, yes clumsy and forget major things too.

I've learned to just keep it moving and invest that wisdom n2 my own life.

While I think it's important to understand your personality type, I am very careful about not letting it define me, as I am in a constant state of growth and development and labels can sometimes hinder that. Great video yet again 🙌🏾

The couch joke! 😂

I feel like there's an inverse video waiting to be made: the rare/weird situations/conditions that paradoxically turn these bummers into very powerful advantages or opportunities. Thank you for a great video. I'm a fan. I'm sold. Thank you.

So amazing, how suitable all this insight information is! Nearly unbelievable. Thx

Smarcastic humor and I love to make people think

Phenomenal… absolutely amazing 💛

Yes, plays on words are funny jokes to me, too.

Thank you ❤ your videos are very informative and straight to the point 👌

Great finally the truth about us.. now how can we our InFJness to be extremely successful.

I love plays on language when it comes to humor. I can't believe how slick we can be sometimes. 😅 Now sometimes I don't know if I'm ghosting others or being ghosted by others. It's hard to tell at this point and I'll allow it to be in limbo for the sake of peace and letting things go. We are such intense beings that it's such a delicate place of giving it your all and then needing space afterwards. We all need a healthy happy medium.

Thanks man. Very insightful and accurate.

I think INFJs are really darlings.

“Plays on language” I love a good corny pun, anyone else? Why does everyone think those are lame? 😁

Another excellent video….i just found you today and your videos are so helpful! (I've already subscribed). Thanks! 😊👍

I’m a new subscriber and this is the 2nd video of yours that I have watched. I like your style/format and the content here :) this video was great…. I agree that even with some drawbacks I wouldn’t change being an INFJ :)

as long as i laugh its funny

Great video, all true! Really enjoying the Facebook group conversations as well!

Yes. This is right on the money.

Yes. This is how it is

This is a great video. You nailed it! Thank you-very consoling.🙏💐😊

Sinceramente me sorprende este video, y los demás sobre nosotros los infj, me siento demasiado identificada, y pensaba que solo yo era así, que solo yo sobre pensaba y leía a las personas, pero más que nada creía que esos eran delirios míos, que yo era una persona mala por pre juzgar a los demás (también prejuzgo, claro que sí) pero sin embargo ahora creo que no es necesariamente que me paso juzgando y prejuzgando a las personas, sino que realmente puedo leerlas en muchos casos e intuir muchos movimientos o reacciones, por lo que siempre soy muy cuidadosa cuando conozco a alguien nuevo o cuando noto alguna diferencia en alguien que ya conozco.

So true!! Every single point is spot-on!

Love being an INFJ weirdo 😂👍

You’re my best friend.

Thank you

Accurate, well illustrated, spot on, thank you! Signed: mega-infj.

Great video. Related to this a lot. Often been in a great convo then ghosted. Very interested in language and something sounding funny in relation to it. Wacky sense of humor. Quiet in public and can be wild around friends. I just thought I was nuts when I was younger. Always thought of myself as the computer, robot, alien. Good to know I'm unique not crazy. 👍

Thanks for your video

I'm trying to stay positive but I can't help but to focus on exposing liars . I did what I did. WHY lie?

Dude I love your channel.

I am not lazy. I am being persecuted by the hounds of hell and don’t care to join them in the endeavour or learn their ways. I am an anthropologist on mars and totally perplexed and confounded by the natives who choose abuse and savagery as their modus operandi in spite of the strings attached which nuke their own quality of life. They won’t observe ego boundaries and are making their own lives unpleasant and reaping curses in real time that being the case.

Another great video, thank you! (And great accent too!)

I love word play. It's fun and new. Learning new word s and meanings...mess. lol