THE 5 WEIRDEST HABITS OF INFJs (that we usually keep secret) 

Bang on. I've had strangers open up to me in the grocery store for ex. Several times. As if I have a sticker on my coat that says 'tell me all your troubles'.

LOL hilarious and TRUE 😂

AMEN LOL

😂😂😂😂

Yes. I'm thinking most other people aren't reacting nearly as negatively as we think, if they are normal that is, rather than toxic. But then, their reaction is their responsibility, not ours.

Im still wayyy over analyzing conversations it’s a downright nuisance at moments

Hi! Can u give advice, as a teen INFJ who doesn't know which career to pursue yet and who thinks on how I'll be in the future pleasee. :)

Any type can mistreat ppl

This hits deep. Relate 💯. Awareness and action towards progress is therapeutic.

I can relate to those bullet points. Please take the time to talk to a mental health professional or trusted person in your life. It makes me sad that you are struggling. Keep going!

I can relate to most of this. If I hadn't let Jesus into my life when I was 17, I don't think I would have lived past 20. I had a boyfriend who was a toxic controller, a serious narcissist, when I was 17, got married to a man who was not as bad as the boyfriend, but turned out to be an alcoholic and adulterer. He left me when I told him to go to AA. I was devastated, had a nervous breakdown and wanted to die, but Jesus got me through that. I grew a lot from the experience and it released creativity. I started to write poetry when I went through that and have written some real epics since then. I have been single for the last 38 years, no boyfriends at all, and life has been much more peaceful because of it. Could not have done it without Jesus, though. Because of Him, I am not lonely because I am never alone. For years, I craved for be understood, but eventually gave up and accepted that I am too complex for my friends and family to understand. Jesus understands me thoroughly. Most of my family doesn't talk to me, and life is more peaceful because of it. I have a couple of people I consider close friends, but I wonder for how long. If they dump me, Jesus will catch me. My mother measures things by status and property, so by her standards, I am a failure. I don't use her criteria for measuring success, though. Success to me is how obedient I am to what Jesus tells me to do, regardless of whether it is appreciated or not. He appreciates my obedience. I am a writer, but I earn no money from it, and it doesn't matter to me. I was born to write, among other things. My daughter had three children out of wedlock and I helped a lot with the two oldest, free babysitting, buying them things, took to them to fun and educational places, lots of restaurants trying out ethnic foods, gave them many happy childhood memories. The grandsons stay in contact with me. The older ones says he feels like I am the only family he has. The younger one has thanked me for always having his back. Helping them in their younger years is something I am proud of. It doesn't matter what the world thinks. It's screwed up. Don't ever give up on life. It is a precious gift. You were born because you have something important to do to make the world a better place. Find out what it is.

Pull yourself together as far as being an INFJ is concerned, because that's all normal enough. I concur about calling someone for mental health help. It is so worth seeing how you are definitely not alone. Depression AND abuse want to isolate you. But it always turns out, you are NOT the only one. ❤️

Being an infj I have sudden urge to help u or make u happy . I wish we could be friends 🥺 . I pray things turn out good for u in future

Hi there, I feel this and I'm sorry for your hurt. I'm not an expert in anything to do with mental health, aside from experiencing a lot of the stuff you are talking about. Please put your wellbeing first and only take on board things that feel right to you; ignore the rest. I too am a 'failure' in the conventional sense, and am working part-time in a role well below my skill level, because that is all I can manage for the time being, after severe workplace bullying and financial almost-ruin. It took me nearly 20 years in corporate to realize that there are many people who thrive on bullying others (or worse) and being manipulative to an extreme degree. It's really, really, really not about you, and it's not your fault. I promise. They may blame things on you and gaslight you (especially the narcs who, you are right, seem to be attracted to us or make up part of our family), but if YOU know your intentions, and you're doing your best to be a semi-decent human being who isn't intentionally nasty or manipulative (even if you get things wrong sometimes), then it's not your fault and they aren't worth listening to. (Have you ever noticed that people like that are happy to give 'feedback' about everything we do wrong, even if you never criticize them? They just like to pick at others for no reason). I am aware that saying 'just ignore them' isn't necessarily good, practical advice as things are often not that clear-cut. Warped and power-hungry people go after people who are different to them in whatever way. If you research workplace bullying, I think in the UK, it was discovered that targets of bullies are often the most decent and hardworking people. That can be enough to set them off and target you. Even close friends can be fickle and ghost us, through no fault of our own. Their lives get full and it is somewhat normal for people to drop out of our lives. As an INFJ this can still hurt a lot though, and we may not ever get an explanation. Even with our closest friends. Sometimes we do get taken for granted. If it helps - What helped me: Doing the Autism Quotient test (and testing for ADHD) - I think some free tests can be found at embrace-autism.com/. This may not apply to you, but it truly shocked me and explained an awful lot (including the being misunderstood part). I suspect INFJs share a lot of similarities with neurodiverse folks, where others can sense a difference and target us. Reading Dr Gary Namie's works on workplace bullying. Working (mostly!) remotely, if you are able to work (not being able to doesn't make you 'less than', despite what society says). If you can get out of toxic workplaces and minimize contact, it's a lot harder for bullies to focus on you. I can't speak for it for myself, but a good resource for becoming remote could be developerpro.io, which teaches you how to be a fully-remote software engineer. (I'm not an affiliate in any way; it's just something I'm considering in future). Not putting in any effort anymore for one-sided friendships (where you do all the work - if people don't put in any effort at all, and never have a good reason, they aren't really interested and may be using you in case they need help one day, but without putting in any effort). Just speaking for myself, I don't have friendships anymore (just kind acquaintances), due to the constant disappointment, and because realistically my health doesn't allow for it, unfortunately). Embracing the things I enjoy doing (that others may say are weird). I live a very 'nana-like', quiet life and forget about wasting my energy anymore going to after-works drinks etc. Understanding 'spoon theory' - managing energy as an introvert/potential neurodivergent person. That just means not wasting on energy on things that drain us (or managing as best we can, the things that we have to do - like online grocery shopping. I try and limit myself to going to three places at most if I have errands to run, to avoid over-stimulation, as much as possible). Having pets or volunteering at a shelter. Animals love us unconditionally and love to be loved in turn (especially senior animals)! So many are in need (some are rejected by their mothers and aren't able to look after themselves). Pets appreciate us even if no one else seems to, and have enormous emotional intelligence. You DO have value and worth, even if the whole world disagrees with you and tells you that you're wrong. Even if your family and friends and partners have disappeared (or you've had to cut them off due to abuse), you DO still have value! Some people can be nasty or just shallow and thoughtless. Or just dealing with their own stuff. It may not always be intentional. Even good people can hurt us and let us down, or misunderstand us. Please live for YOU. Take what enjoyment you can out of life and maybe just say 'eff them' in your mind to those who have wilfully (or accidentally) hurt, abused or neglected you, or taken you for granted. Do your best to protect your time, energy, peace, mind and heart. Truly wishing you all the best.

I can agree with that!

Me too!

Thanks every one.

Yes we are unique. I am the only one in the family who could not be brain washed. It is a lonely hard road.

Once I realize someone is trying to lead/push me into a belief/POV I take a moment to consider the why and what. Why are they doing it? What is the goal? If the goal is ultimately good, I'll ostensibly agree. The why was nearly always political or face-saving, meaning, who cares?! But that was when I worked in a bureaucratic setting. Now that I'm free of that I don't have to appear to be led into a different opinion/POV. That said, if someone makes valid points, they can totally change my mind.

Same

Same. I’m not infj tho

This was me with Attack on Titan when it first aired. I started seeing all the Anime Club students (In college, by the way) with the freaking Scout Corp cloak. And what made me hate it is that I never watched the show or read the manga, but I KNEW the Scout Corp was the most likely to die. And it made me question everyone who wore that.

Agee!

I agree as well. It's like having to act as someone else. I feel it's fake and I can't be myself because I prefer deeper subjects.

​@ShadowSong634 Me too. Just got into a fight with my husband on a long trip back from an out-of-state wedding. I met my birth mother at this event and it didn't go well. I'm pouring my heart out and my husband is saying things like "Oh, look at how high the corn has grown" and "see how windy it is?" I finally blew up at him and said he was being an ah and he said I'm just trying get your mind onto something else!

@@forapps9364 I feel for you. Marriage can be so hard sometimes, especially after the stressful event you attended. Just this morning I tried to talk to my husband about a book I am reading, and all he wanted to do was talk statistics about my reading speed and how it is calculated. Read the room buddy. Anyway, I am sending positive thoughts to you, and just "hang in there". Sometimes it's all we can do.

​@@nanetten6238Thanks, I needed that ❤

I know a person who is so different from me but claims to be INFJ like me. I think they say it because how rare INFJ is, so they want to be “special”. I’m pretty sure they are narcissistic.

That's the empath in us, and people without the ability to feel what others are feeling do not get it at all. 😢

It is. The happy little detoxifying bubble is a beautiful thing. Lol

😂

All the time for me!! 😂

All the damn time! 😂

I also keep them... I am an INFJ

Me too! and yes it is a relief.

Me too 😂

Yep to it all. 😆

You are not alone I know who gave me what in my home too

Who wants to be boring ?

99% of the people I know are boring and they DO hate super creatives like us. I don't understand THEM.

Hehe, I know this one... Sometimes I even "know" (let's say I'm really sure) that something will happen in the future, nobody believes me. I try to explain them why, all the reasons I see, they still don't believe me. Couple of months later: "See, I told you" - "Oh, you were just guessing..." - "So? How many times did I guess wrong?"

I’m an attorney. I feel this comment deeply. Everyday. There is no room for intuition in the law.

OMGGG I am an ENFP and i felt that something very weard was coming . I had that feeling in 2019

Me too. I was a month ahead of everyone. Bought hundreds of dollars of N95s before it happened and when covid came month later I gave them to nurses to save them. I didnt go to ER because the company was hoarding them. I went to nurses homes and gave them to them. I researched herbal remedies for covid by translating other languages about what I was working. I then bought the stuff and put them into kits right at beginning. I saved family and co-workers by giving them kits. I was in overdrive for months researching and researching on internet. Only sleeping a few hours a night until I had it figured out as best as I could. I didnt tell anyone what I was doing because they would think I was crazy. Intuition and logic going a hundred miles an hour to save as many people as I could. Im still tired. Not sure it was worth it but I felt driven.

Happened to me. I recently "hibernated" from contacting family and close friends...well, everybody was apologetic thinking they said something hurtful to me.... It was like dominoes chain reaction.... Afterwards I had to explain to "them" that I just needed time to recalibrate... Exhausting explanation...

I feel you! I hated school… I agree, so many demonic and mean people … I don’t want to know anything about them or what has happened to them now … no thank you !

This has been the bane of my existence (theft of ideas).

I haven’t had any idea theft, they’ve had permission to use my ideas for inspiration, and it was more of a tribute than anything. So I got lucky.

@@DoofenSpyroDragon16 Well not everyone is as lucky as you, some of us have it BAD!

INFJ here - I work as an Interpreter: English & American Sign Language. And I do a lot of medical interpreting. I love researching the etymology of the two languages I use. Often, I find that Latin makes things so clear as it is descriptive.

That's not weird at all. The coffee and tea must be fully enjoyed and appreciated before the efforts and irritations of study! :) Me, the opposite. I had to have Study Treats. Basically, coffee and chocolate.

@@nancycronin551 thanks for reassuring the weirdness 😆 🤸‍♂️🤸digestive biscuits and ☕️are also good 👌

My ritual is to walk with my dog every single day and later go to the park by myself....

OMG me too

You got that right! Honestly I feel exactly the same way.

Me too Cynthia, I wish I didnt have to go back out there but I have to earn a little money. I didnt realise it is ptsd till yesterday. A couple of days ago I got verbally abused and gaslighted because I refused to drive a minibus to pick up children because there was smoke pouring out the engine, truly unbelievable. I wish you well, lets both take it day by day and minute by minute if we have too, we got this! xx

@@SoupDragon63 I think one of the huge betrayals of covid that lead to my near CPTSD is that the people who pushed the vax on everyone didn't even believe in it themselves. Cause if they did they would have calmed the eff down, and as we saw as the vax numbers rose, and the virus weakened, people became MORE hysterical not less. Personally I got the shots so I could go back to work at my beloved summer camp which required it. And they were awful - restrictions up the ying yang and not the least bit grateful or appreciative of the risk and sacrifice that people made in getting the jab. That was so profoundly crushing. I knew the shot wasn't gonna do anything to stop the spread, the press release that came out at the time of the roll out never claimed that it would. I thought it was just a cheap, saline solution money grab, assuming they would never be dumb enough/horrible enough to harm people with the entire world watching. Especially after they gave up on the sub-zero storage requirement, I thought they don't need to do that for simple saline. As an INFJ I wasn't anticipating evil, and I don't apologize for putting my love of the camp first and not expecting the horribleness that came down. When it comes to INFJ intuition, my gut feeling was that the shot wasn't going to seriously harm me. Not that it wouldn't cause harm, but that I would be okay. I never advised anyone to take the shot, nor would I presume to make medical decisions for others. The only advice I gave, besides recommending vitamin D from the beginning, was to a woman at camp who was wondering if she should get her young daughter (age 13) vaxxed. I advised no, since she didn't need it. This was summer 2021, before all the horror stories came out. Anyway, covid damaged my faith in just about everyone - especially the management of the summer camp, whom I thought were decent, kind, intelligent, responsible people who cared about the welfare of others. Sorry to say I was wrong. I don't anticipate ignorance and evil, but once it has been revealed and revealed on such scale, I can't unsee it. P.S. My camp was in Vermont, and I had no idea how much Vermont is run by the political establishment in NY, that was another big disillusionment.

@@cynthiajohnson9412 Yes, the biggest shock was peoples reactions, the ones that got the J to be protected were angry at the ones that didnt in case they infected them, like huh? if you got the J and are protected why are you angry at me?, common sense went out of the window.

@@SoupDragon63 There were sooooo much that didn't make sense. I was just thinking today how for years I listened to drug ads that listed as a side effect immune system compromise - multiple times, daily. And yet when the C hit no one asked, gee are you taking a med that might have reduced your immune function? I mention that because I've never heard anyone say anything about that. Or here's another one - if you die or become very sick with an illness that 99.99% of people recover from just fine, wouldn't that indicate you have a problem, diagnosed or diagnosed, with your immune system? Or in other words truly healthy people don't die from something that most people recover from. Why would that be considered unacceptable or mean to point out?

That's it exactly. "I have fun inside my head" too. That's why I don't need to stare at a phone all the time.

@@nanetten6238 I don't have a cell phone for that reason. Good for you for giving yourself head time instead of staring at the idiot square.

Some kind of infj group would be so lovely!!

:)

While being in the spotlight is not our natural place, we can become very good at it when it’s needed. So just know that about yourself. You have the ability!

@@INFJcircle Your words are so valid and accurate, Jay. While I shy away from the spotlight, when I'm in it, I somehow do well. I appreciate you and the effort you put into making your videos, which always assure me that I'm never alone in thought.

Love it, classic thought process.

That honestly made me sad! A little bittersweet, not gonna lie.

Haha! Do it!

I’m dong well my friend, thanks for the support :)

Thanks so much!

Went great and I’m settled in now. Thanks.

Hey, thanks! haha

Thank you!

Thank you! Happy to be back :)

You are welcome!

And my first sentence has nothing to do with the rest of my comment.

You are so welcome!

You are welcome!

Mmmmhmmmm