My narcissist husband offers me full custody of our child, IF only I agree with 200 euros a month for support. He owns a restaurant and has two cars and a house. We are married but he managed to put all his belongings aside. What do you recommend ?
I found another thing narcissists like doing is early on the relationship they will present themselves as empaths when in fact they are not. A narcissist has no empathy.
This just happened to me after 8 months! Im still shocked. Treated her as if she was an empath then boom devalue and discard 8 months in. 2.5 weeks now thank god for all the research and info cause I’m finally feeling somewhat sane and normal again!
@@jasondevine6348 It's amazing how they can make you feel as if it is all your fault and you are the problem. Once you start researching and learning, then you can finally be free! Thank God you found a way out. Awesome, brother!
01:05 1. They start hanging out with better supply 02:29 2. They start ghosting you 03:01 3. Heightened gaslighting 04:23 4. The birth of the smear campaign 05:54 5. They start lining up their flying monkeys 06:41 6. Heightened projection and deflection and lying and denying 07:43 7. You will definitely become public enemy number one 08:48 8. They start withholding/hiding/being secretive 09:21 9. The blame game 09:58 10. Everything you do or say can and will be used against you
After going to an open studio art event last Sunday by myself, i stopped by the local winery and got a glass of red and a burger from the food truck. It was definitely a good date. *"Party of 1"* 🍷 🍔
Yeah they do and stalk you wait for you to get home wait out the front of your house it’s cray stuff it’s scary hearing their psychiatrist say they’re obsessed with you yes way better to be discarded
My narc and her flying monkeys were stalking me every time I went out for anything. So one night as I was pulling out of our parking lot I saw 3 guys across the street all waiting, engines running, lights out, to see which way I went. So I drove to a gas station where they followed me, bought a fill up of gas and a pack of smokes, they maintained distance when I let them know that they were always going to be on camera when they followed me and that I had a zippo lighter in my right hand and the gas nozzle in the left. Shortly there after they stopped all the shenanigans' but I had to show them that this was a stupid game that I wasn't going to play nicely anymore. I like the quote about the trash taking itself out, it fits. Thank You LadyMoonlightFan for the quotes.
Holy shit, I have been through all of this toxic behavior by the narcisstic person who nearly poisoned my life, so happy they left me, a blessing in disguise !!!
I had no idea my narcissist ex-husband was "one of them" until a few years ago. I divorced him 28 years ago. Now I'm surrounded by many narcissist - women. Can't win for losing.
me too I'm just finding all this out now I don't no why I see it everywhere it's a Signe for me that he's this wow I'm so everything right now mad at myself but how was I supposed to know right 😢
Great Content! Thank you! My ex-boyfriend (dated for nearly 3 years); was sitting at his computer, then turned around and told me, Well!! I Just Bought the House!....I said ...What House?...He said... Oh, I told you I was looking at houses, and I close next week. He never even told me he was looking at investment houses, and then just dropped that down So Casually!! Just one of the Many Red Flags that I can totally relate to your "10 Signs" here. I practically lived with him and he hadn't even told me he was looking at properties until After he bought it?! Why didn't I just go ahead and leave! No, I put up with it ALL for another eight or ten months. Just about all 10 Signs. So Painful! I watched this to remind myself to stay focused on Reality. I can only change myself, no one else.
My ex narc did exactly that to his former ex fiancée. Bought a house without consulting her at all when they were planning the rest of their lives together ! Obviously, I didn't find out about that or many other inappropriate things he did within their relationship until after we'd married . Took me nearly two years to get away but I did and thank heavens for the peace which is now my normal .
@@susanwood9949 Oh I'm Sorry. How did you find out this happened to her? I would have Loved to be able to speak with my ex-boyfriends other girlfriends (even one of them) or his ex-wife. When I was introduced to her at his son's wedding, she shook my hand warmly and Never Looked him in the face...never one time...I brushed it off but now I know why! I broke up with him for good over three years ago, and I'm still so ashamed at the way I allowed myself to be treated. I should have left Much earlier...but I was So Hooked. Happy Holidays to you and only the Best to you in your life going forward.
OMG, this is Exactly what happened to me, but now that you have explained it in such detail, I finally understand it, and yes he discarded me a few months ago, after 31 years...I am recuperating my life back!
omg, i did recall all his treats to me through those f**kin long years and i've just realized, he discarded me a few months ago after 22 years of our friendship!! this great video made my eyes so wide open wide, Thanks
Hi Rebecca. Your advice has helped me to such an extent that he took me back after wanting a divorce. I stood my ground! Now, I keep a healthy emotional distance. THANKS!
I'd like to invite you to my FREE live webinar called “The 3 MUST-HAVE Secrets to Communicating with a Narcissist.” on October 25, at 1 PM Pacific Time (US & Canada). You can sign up here: www.rebeccazung.com/live. I hope to see you there!
Absolutely spot on...... I have lived through all of this in a divorce. The only positive thing living through this is that I now know what a narcissist is and how to deal with it. A tough life lesson.
I'm there with you. Very tough life lesson. I pushed aside the red flags for 29 years. He still won't let things be, despite me being 100% NO contact. Threats of court, etc. It's tiring.
I went through all 10 in a weeks time... Yesterday he told me he has moved on and for me to move on, after He finally responded to me after days.... He was so cold and I could tell that he was around a woman.... I'm heart broken but I know I will heal.
Out of those 10, only 1, 3 and 9 significantly heightened, all other signs were present from the beginning. Also rage, hate, abuse increased significantly.
It is all scarily exact. With regards to number 10. Be aware of secret phone recordings, maybe baiting you into saying something and recording you. It happened to me. All through my "relationship", only found out when a friend of his alerted me to the fact. Be Aware people. Thank you Rebecca for your wisdom x
I started to record my wife after I started doubting myself if I had say that or this I was constantly been targeted for things I didn’t do, they just don’t f reason at all is all your fault, so went I started to confront her with her own self in audio she call all kinds of names calling me a narcissist for confronting her with the truth.
Slaying is dating the girl who played "Dorothy" ( she is actually the Wicked Witch of the West) , joining all the dots and confirming all the 10 indications , hilarious " Dorothy " is now chasing the "Tin Man " , you really couldn't make this up. I dumped before the discard , got wised up through narcissism awareness on RU-vid , keep up the good work Rebecca , clear concise and relevant 👍. 2 years now Narc Free the air smells and tastes cleaner 🌄.
Absolutely SLAY. Thank you again Rebecca. You shine a very bright light in both understanding and insightfulness while dealing with these twisted minded people. Keep up the great work. You are helping thousands to regain there sanity. I am certainly one of them. We all appreciate you.
Wow… I wish I knew all this a few years ago! I had the worst experience at a workplace. Was good friends with my boss and the receptionist then the 2 of them got together. I was instantly on the out. Hushed whispering in front of me, adding a new 3rd wheel to their group. The entire workplace knew what was going on (they were very obvious). Myself and another coworker called the boss out and our lives were made a living hell for the next 2 years until we both left (the receptionist took my position of course…) I was made to feel like the craziest person in the world. I’d keep to myself and stay out of the drama and was then attacked for “being in a mood”. Between the 2 of them they’d constantly gaslight me day in day out. I cried every day on the way to and way from work. The boss assaulted another staff member and was believed by management when he said he didn’t remember what happened etc etc and got to keep his job. I threatened to complain about him when he was aggressive toward me and his words were “go and tell management. They didn’t believe the last person who complained” I knew them I needed to get out. The day I walked out for good was like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. It was an instant relief. I’m very aware of peoples behaviour now and avoid these types of people at all costs. Life is so much better now in my new workplace and I feel like myself again ☺️
Exactly!!! SLAY! He was smearing me the entire marriage. So when people actually met me they were confused and constantly said your nothing like he said. I was so confused. He was so angry that these people didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. But they didn’t become my friends. He’s still going after me.
So true Dreadful behaviour when l look back some 32 years ago. Didn't know what was happening back then just a gut that said don't care. So very sad with 3 children
I literally got discarded for someone who is so Beneath me looks wise and I’m not saying that to be a jerk I’m saying it because they will literally go to anyone who gives them attention.
This video is if you where telling my story I can’t believe how this happened so many years in my marriage and I should’ve see it coming. I’m not perfect but I take responsibility for my actions something my wife doesn’t want to do.
@@noracharles9366 Anxiety is the Devil. That's telling you right there that he's off and you're being put off-balance. Your intuition and anxiety are big red flags if you are more anxious with the person than without them around.
Wow, this blew my mind. I'm definitely going through this right now and have been at a loss. Thank you so much for your insight. Last Saturday morning before work she came home at 5am. I put my foot down and told her she needed to move out after hearing her lies and catching her up in them from her cell phone. I was told it's all my fault and she didn't want to move. She made promises, cried and swore it would never happen again. Over the past few days I hear her telling her friends about all of the things I did and how I caught her. Now she acts like nothing has happened and wants me to hang out with her people and do things I don't respect. I told her no Yesterday and she tells me, " well I'm going because you're no fun, and they are my friends."
Oh boy did I experience this just recently! My friend who called herself my bff/like a sister dipped out on me when she met a guy. I had started to notice red flags before she told me she was in a relationship. The dropped texts, not arranging to meet up, leaving me out of her wedding plans, started to be really secretive, her words and actions not matching etc. When I called out her behaviour the mask came off and the narcissistic came out full bitch mode! She subject shifted, blame shifted, used word salad and projected onto me. She was so condescending, belittling and used my trauma against me, by saying I’m confused, I think you misunderstood, and the worst there’s something wrong with your head. I called her out and said that is toxic behaviour and don’t gaslight me! She gave me a fake apology and nothing changed after. She’s marrying this poor guy now LOL. And on Tuesday my birthday she didn’t message me happy birthday - not that I needed to hear it because after that conversation I had decided the friendship was dead. I realise I’m at the discard stage now and I’m still shocked and numb. I can’t believe a 10 year “friendship” gone, but it confirmed everything resonated with what I was thinking and feeling. Good riddance but man does your guard go up after, and you want to stay in hermit mode forever… ☠️🌈❤️🩹🦋🙏🏽✨
Leave and go no contact is the only way to save your life. I use gray rock method when dealing with my narc coworkers. It doesn't solve the problem. Narcs will NEVER leave you alone. It's exhausting, frustrating and traumatizing!
Communicating less and less and not having time again and again actually has a term. It's called slow fading. Slow fading can last for years and it usually precedes ghosting. It's also often called "being strung along" or "being led on). When you bring up the issue about their obvious loss of enthusiasm, engagement and availability and try to find out the reasons for such change, they blame you back for noticing the change and accuse you of "being insecure/needy". As they blame you for being "needy"(=gaslighting you), they hurt you more (by causing cognitive dissonance from gaslighting) on top of hurting you by their slow abandonment process in place.
So true every thing you have said resonated with my marriage.Married to a narcissist,didn’t know meaning till I watched your video.There either for you or against you. False hope that there in love with you ,but there actions tell a whole different story.I’m glad I closed the door on marriage and I’m locking it never to return.I respect myself to much to go through more heart ache and pain .
Someone who distances themselves may be trying to protect themselves. Someone in an abusive relationship might want to hide money in the hopes that they can use it to get out. A person in a bad relationship may well also want to surround themselves with support.
As soon as I was discarded, she let me know not to be late picking up the kids because she had a date..she rubbed my nose in it at every turn. Her cousin worked at the same place as me. He saw a woman talking to me..she was trying to pick me up ( my heart wasn't in it. ) ...my wife wanted to verbally shame me.. she was already dating! Smh..
Every point I went through! Is this a mental health issue? Best thing that ever happened to me was to be discarded. Didn't know it then but after you're away from it for a while you can see what was happening to you. Be strong people it's not your fault and you'll see that. 🙏
I'm at number 6... I dont give anything anymore.. and I dont care.. getting a recorder and maybe a camera.... my mind is alredy pass the relationship and visualising in my head being alone and peacefull. I came from poor backgrond but I always add a really good selfworth. I got 2 university degree..(law and management) top amature athlete in my contry (10 000m track) I was training for fhe Olympics wheen I was young.. I ran marathon's and Ultra-marathon's... looking back..I was the ultimate supply.. because I'm independent and really proud of my acheivents..and I thing he got off controling the narative.... after 8 years he told something someday .. his soul whated to take back what he just said... All his narcissist trait came rushing in at the same time. .. I confronted him several times (because I'm a assertive person) .. blaming me, lies, gasligthing, smear.. everyting came out ... now I'm just grey rocking and I've block my emotions ... because there's nothing more be said... I'm stubborn as hell also.. 🤣 good luck chuck !! 😅
My Mother did all this over a period of about two years. All the time, waiting for the right moment to discard, at my worst point, she threw me under the bus. Nearly killed me. NEVER going back
SLAY #1-10, Spent last year getting out of a friendship that was taking me down a road I'd been down before. Lived all that you offered in this video almost in the exact order. Very freakin' weird looking at it in hindsight but to elaborate would give them more of a different supply.
Oh wow! I was hoping that not being a source of supply would end the problem, but it can result in being gossiped on and attacked by the group. It is hard to have any peace, especially with a family member. Jesus tells us to love our enemies, and somehow we must manage to keep from falling to the level of the narcissist. I need to pray on this a lot. Thank you for helping to sort this. Bless you.
Wow. All these things were happening to me and I didn’t even realize it. I just knew my mom was a crazy narcissist. But I didn’t know she was trying to get rid of me. Well I guess I kind of did. She kept trying to get of my stuff. But the blame game and everything else in this video was spot on. More was coming at me than I even realized. The worst part is when I had my husband call her back to ask what happened she tried to act all innocent like I shouldn’t be upset 😡
Watching this, having lived this, I am unsure what is sadder: That their pathology is so predictable you could post a video which near prophetically detailed what happened to me [all of us?] or that it all still arrived as a surprise to me even after 11 years within such a cycle.
I'd like to invite you to my FREE live webinar called “The 3 MUST-HAVE Secrets to Communicating with a Narcissist.” on October 25, at 1 PM Pacific Time (US & Canada). You can sign up here: www.rebeccazung.com/live. I hope to see you there!
I have discarded my landloard narc....what an energy sucker he was.... no one ever drives in his driveway with cold beer and smiles...nor does he have anyone stopping by to say hi and give him a big hug... but people do that to me a lot...and it makes him friggin crazy and jealous to the max. I am a successful artist and he is not successful at anything...his anger level is very high...I have checked out...he can does as he pleases..means nothing to me.
Be careful not to overanalyze. Just see what is ethical compassionate and considerate behavior. Don't worry about old. People from 15 years back r more solid minded then current generation who r all over the place. You need a divine teacher to cut through the twisted behaviour. Don't read too much into how ppl respond. A small percentage of people really know what is aligned behavior. They need guidance from a solid moral undeviant teacher. Very few people r correctly aligned and many ppl r giving skewed advice. Thanks for your insight.
Slay. #9 I call the "Guilt Assult" anything anyone does including our animals is my fault. Its actually sad. I cannot imagine living life and never being able to have true empathy and compassion.
I'd like to invite you to my FREE live webinar called “The 3 MUST-HAVE Secrets to Communicating with a Narcissist.” on October 25, at 1 PM Pacific Time (US & Canada). You can sign up here: www.rebeccazung.com/live. I hope to see you there!
Narcissist traits come with the territory. We heal once we are away from them. In order to heal, you must focus on yourself. To our nurturing side, this can feel like narcissistic behavior. It is…but it isn’t. It’s about you, your healing journey, your boundaries. Take care of you. Learn to trust yourself. You will emerge a different person who is still able to love, yet has boundaries. I was also In that same situation last year with my husband he was Cheating on me with my best friend and so many other girls Any time I asked him he always say I’m a crazy mother fucker 😞..I told my sister about this and she referred me to her friend on Facebook here, who happens to know programming and stuff He cloned my husband phone and I had access to his social media account and calls Now I had enough evidence to file divorce because I was tired of all the heart breaks.
I'd like to invite you to my FREE live webinar called “The 3 MUST-HAVE Secrets to Communicating with a Narcissist.” on October 25, at 1 PM Pacific Time (US & Canada). You can sign up here: www.rebeccazung.com/live. I hope to see you there!
There should be no such thing as "regular treatment" toward anyone that consists of this crap. Dump them, dear, this is garbage. Self respect will serve you best. Let go to grow. 💕
In my experience, it's an escalation of the "regular treatment", it happens more often, and the narc not even trying to cover it up, apologize afterwards, or explain. For instance, a few months before the discard, I was working on my computer in his spare "office room" in his home that he said was for me. I happened to accidentally knock a basket of dried lavender on the floor while shuffling papers around and he happened to pop his head in the door about five minutes later and was FURIOUS!! Screaming that I had no regard for his things, grabbed his gigantic vacuum cleaner out of the downstairs closet as I was begging him to let me do it...I would vacuum it up; the lavender and basket were not crushed or broken, it was just a bit of dried wicker and a few pieces of stray lavender. He remained angry and demanded that we were going to the gym; I said no I do not want to go to the gym with you right now at this very moment. He remained angry for at least two days and could not be calmed down with my apologies and then trying to reason with him. I was baffled by his over-reaction, and then how long he remained angry over such a petty incident. He never apologized or even tried to bother explaining why the damn basket of lavender caused such a ruckus. For instance if he had some special attachment to it or his mom gave it to him ...no explanation. Would not explain.
Talk about an 'Excedrine" headache......love the comment "the trash takes itself out"!! It doesn't get any better than that!!!!! Bye-Bye and Good Riddance!!
I'd like to invite you to my FREE live webinar called “The 3 MUST-HAVE Secrets to Communicating with a Narcissist.” on October 25, at 1 PM Pacific Time (US & Canada). You can sign up here: www.rebeccazung.com/live. I hope to see you there!
I'd like to invite you to my FREE live webinar called “The 3 MUST-HAVE Secrets to Communicating with a Narcissist.” on October 25, at 1 PM Pacific Time (US & Canada). You can sign up here: www.rebeccazung.com/live. I hope to see you there!
My husband and I are going through a divorce and will be legal at the end of January 2022 He's never been diagnosed by a psychiatrist but I believe he is a covert narcissist with alcohol addiction issues and a child. Would you recommend a lawyer who understands narcissist behavior? He has his own lawyer but I don't.
I was ghosted during pregnancy one day he just said he didn't love me n we were done for good even tho he was telling me he loved me a month ago n was dating just changed n started to say the baby wasn't his 😒
