10 Star Trek Burns That Still Sting 

Very small technical hitch with this video originally. Early reports suggest it was something to do with the inverse variance of metaphasic subspace polarity field but we compensated for it with the bipolar subspace coils and thoron neurotransmitters. Please enjoy a rare TrekCulture re-upload 🖖

Q to Everyone, “What do I have to do to prove I’m mortal?!” Worf, “Die” Q, “Oh very good, eat any good books lately?”

Kirk: "I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time." Spock: "Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted."

Sean. You missed one of the best ones - Star Trek: DS9 "House of Quark" Quark enters the Chamber of the Klingon High Council: "I'm Quark, Son of Keldar. Here to challenge D'Ghor, Son of ... _Whatever."_ The Klingons in the High Council gasp at the audacity. Anyone who can make Klingons "clutch the pearls" is #1 in my book.

What about Odo in Trials and Tribble-ations? Worf : Hundreds of warriors were sent to track them down throughout the galaxy. An armada obliterated the tribbles' home world. By the end of the twenty third century they had been eradicated. Odo : *Another glorious chapter of Klingon history. Tell me, do they still sing songs of the great tribble hunt?*

You could make a whole list of just the witticisms of Garak alone. But then, Garak has that business all sewn up.

I always ended up choking in laughter on this one. Data: The captain and many of the crew are not yet convinced he is truly Human. Guinan: Really?

Don't forget the one from 7 of 9: "Remove your hand or I will remove your arm."

WESLEY: Since when did you become an expert on women? LAFORGE: Compared to you, every male on this ship is an expert on women. WESLEY: Well at least I don't have to find my women on the holodeck!

Q : Without your assistance on our last encounter, I would never have survived. I would have taken my own life but for you. Picard : We all make mistakes.

Not exactly a burn, but I loved "Unification" when Picard was trying to borrow a Klingon ship and crew so he could get into Romulan territory undetected. He had recently helped Gowron rise to power; now he was calling in the favor. However, he could only get a hold of a low-ranking subordinate. The Klingon subordinate acted like he was put out by Picard's request. He finally asked Picard what Gowron would get in return for helping him. Picard said, "Tell Gowron that he will have our gratitude." The Klingon looked like, "That's it? Your gratitude in exchange for a ship?" Picard said, "Yes. Oh, and also tell Gowron that if he is unable to help us out, I'm sure we can find someone else in the Klingon Empire who can loan us a ship... and then THEY would have our gratitude." I've never seen a Klingon look like he was going to wet himself before.

Another one is Odo's "With what?" line from _The Way of the Warrior._ Everyone is evacuating the promenade, and Odo walks up to Quark telling him he needs to be in the shelter as well. Quark: "I'm not going to any emergency shelter. This is my bar, and I'm going to defend it." Odo: "Really? And how do you plan to do that?" Quark: "With this." Odo: "You're going to hit them with a box?" Quark: "No. This is my disruptor pistol. The one I used to carry in the old days, when I was serving on that Ferengi freighter." Odo: "I thought you were the ship's cook." Quark: "That's right. And every member of that crew thought he was a food critic. If the Klingons try to get through these doors, I'll be ready for them." (opens the box to see a note from Rom) "'Dear Quark, I used parts from your disruptor to fix the replicators. Will return them soon. Rom.'" Quark: "I will _kill_ him!" Odo: "With what?"

"You ay test that assumption at your convenience" is the classy way to say "F*ck around and find out."

One of my favourites would have to be in TNG episode Redemption: Part 2 when Data is transferred to temporarily take command of the U.S.S. Sutherland for a fleet operation. His first officer Hobson requests a transfer because just as he doesn't believe a Klingon would make a good ship's counsellor or that a Berellian would make a good engineer, he also doesn't believe an android would make a good starship captain. With the exact same calmness and poise Hobson uses to deliver the bigoted reasoning for his request, Data replies with, "I understand your concerns. Request denied."

McCoy:"Go? Where are we going?" Kirk:"Where they went." McCoy:"Suppose they went nowhere?" Kirk:"Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all."

A little scene in The Next Generation 7th season episode, "Liaisons." Worf is trying to entertain an "ambassador" who is very difficult and demanding, and he's at a buffet line getting the ambassador some food. DATA: How is your diplomatic assignment progressing? WORF: Fine. DATA: I have heard that in moments of diplomatic tension, it is often helpful to find elements of commonality. WORF: Ambassador Byleth is demanding, temperamental and rude. DATA: You share all of those qualities in abundance. Perhaps you should try to build on your similarities. Best part is the little pat on the back Data gives Worf at the end of that scene. :D (Though I have to say, Worf isn't rude, he's a bit abrupt at times, but generally very respectful).

Ya missed the Q / Worf burn in Deja Q Where Q says "What must I do to convince you I am human?" To that Worf replies "Die"

Can't believe you left out the zinger in The Undiscovered Country - "I can't believe I kissed you." - "It must've been your lifelong ambition"

How could you forget Worf's single greatest line ever? I don't know if the doomed Borg heard him, but Captain Picard certainly did. First Contact, the shootout on the deflector dish, Worf aims his phaser rifle and snarls... "Assimilate THIS!"

The season 6 episode of Star Trek Voyager, Virtuoso. The Doctor wants to have the auditorium remodeled so that the audience can see him more clearly, and Torres turns to him and says "you're right, the last five rows will only be able to see the top of your head. The glare could blind them "

Data to Dr. Rasmussen: "I assume your handprint will activate the exit whether you are conscious or not."

The Motion Picture McCoy: Spock, you haven't changed a bit. You're just as warm and sociable as ever Spock: Nor have you doctor, as your continued predilection for irrelevancy demonstrates

Surprised I didn't see my favorite on here.... Dax: "On this trip my bed is as empty as yours, Leskit. Except mine is empty by CHOICE."

Love the tone of voice when Grilka tells Quark in 'DS9: House of Quark': I really am very grateful for all you've done, Quark. That is why I'm going to let you take your hand off my thigh instead of shattering every bone in your body.

You missed Voyager's "Learning Curve". One of the former Maquis is complaining to Chakotay about wanting to do things "the Maquis way" instead of "the Starfleet way". Chakotay nods, casually puts down his drink and *punches the crewman in the face* because "That's the Maquis way too, isn't it?", pulls him off the floor, orders him to wise up, and strolls out of the mess hall like a boss.

Naw, the top Star Trek burn was in The Trouble with Tribbles. Klingon says that the Enterprise is only fit to haul garbage. Scotty asks the Klingon to rephrase his statement, and the Klingon obliges. "I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away, *AS GARBAGE* !"

Picard telling Wesley about the incident with the Nosicans that cost him his heart: "...I made a passing reference to his questionable parentage..."

One of my favourite episodes of Voyager, The Rise (with the orbital tether) when Neelix wanted to check outside because he had a hunch, Tuvok decides to go instead. When he's asked what he's looking for, he replies "I'm looking for Mr. Neelix's 'instinct' - perhaps it will be marked." Tuvok gives good snark.

Worf: Be quiet, or disappear back where you came from Q: I can't disappear, any more than you could win a beauty contest

Here's a lesser known one that made me laugh from TNG. It was when Worf and Troi were together and Worf has spent a good part of the episode trying to avoid a surprise birthday party. Troi reassures him, knowing that he'd rather just be alone "and you probably want to go hit yourself with a painstick or something." The best line in TNG though wasn't really a burn but it's just delivered so well. Laforge and Data are working in a Jeffries Tube and discussing Data's difficulties training Spot, his cat. Geordie makes some comment about a phaser "tuned to a low stun setting" and Data pauses and says" Geordie. I cannot stun my cat."

Scotty: He called you a Denebian slime devil! Kirk: And that's when you hit the Klingon? Scotty: No sir. We're big enough to take a few insults.

How can you not include this one? Alien: "GENESIS?" MyCoy: "Yes, Genesis! How can you be deaf with ears like that?"

My favourite has to be when the doctor tells seven: "Between impulse and action, there is a realm of good taste begging for your acquaintance "

Of course the Vulcans would be on this list a lot. Their suppressed emotions have been turned into snark.

Good reporting! It's fair to say most Cardassians are "difficult", but I have to say something nice about Andrew Robinson, who played Garak on DS9. I met him at a small Trek Con in Marietta GA, back around 1999? What a nice, decent, generous human being. Not at all slick and slippery like his character. He clearly, clearly appreciates his fans and we love him right back. All good wishes, Andrew!

When Lwaxana constantly calls the son of Mogh "Mr. Woof" is one of my favorite ST unintentional burns.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard, to junior adjutant B'iJik: "if he is unable to provide us with a ship, then I am sure there are others in the Klingon Empire who would be willing to help me. And then... *they* would have our gratitude." Priceless!

Seriously?? SERIOUSLY!?!?! When Q talks to Worf and say, " Oh, very clever Worf. Eat any good books lately?" That is by far the best insult in ST: TNG! I still drop when I see that episode. lol

TOS: The Trouble with Tribbles. There are so many zingers in that episode, but the one that pops to mind is: McCoy: I don't know a lot about these Tribbles, but I do know one thing. Spock: What is that, Doctor? McCoy: I like them, better than I like you. Spock: They do indeed have one redeeming characteristic. McCoy: What's that? Spock: They do not talk too much.

Don’t forget “don’t call me tiny”! Sulu was savage.

When your home planet is covered in fireplains, impossibly arrid deserts, probably two suns and whatnot you get really good at throwing shade.

Not really a burn but in the episode ‘The measure of a man’ after Data and Picard win the court battle Data goes up to Maddox and says “I refuse to take part in your experiments”. The fact Data didn’t wait for a second after winning and also walked in front of the man is the biggest middle finger the Android could ever pull off

I know it's not exactly cannon but from the animated series (1st one) episode "The Survivor" after a shapeshifting alien who has impersonated several crew members is finally captured. McCoy: You caught him! Spock: Acute observation doctor. McCoy: Well I'm glad to see him under guard Jim, if he had turned into a second Spock that would be too much to take! Spock: Perhaps, but then two Dr. McCoys just might bring the level of medical efficiency on this ship, up to an acceptable level. Now that is how you burn with style.

Definitely Picard vs. the Sheliak in "The Ensigns of Command". When he finally gets them on a judicial detail in their contract and makes them wait. It's a non-verbal burn and it's brilliant. :)

How could you forget these lines: Bashir: Out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't? Garak: My dear Doctor, they're all true. Bashir: Even the lies? Garak: Especially the lies. and... Garak: The truth is just an excuse for lack of imagination.

my favorite one is from Star Trek 3, right after Kirk tells Bones what happened to him thanks to Spock at the end of Wrath of Khan, "That green blooded S.O.B.!! This is for all those arguments he lost!!." I laugh everytime.

And also “After a time, you may find that ‘having’ is not so pleasing a thing after all as ‘wanting.’ It is not logical, but it is often true.”

From the episode where Riker served on a Klingon ship At dinner, one of the Klingons noticed Riker wasn't eating much and delivered this zinger. "If Klingon food is too strong for you, maybe we can have one of the females breast feed you."

Picard's politeness and eloquence lets him pull off some lines that no-one else could. He had a real gem in "Redemption" when the Duras sisters invite him over for some tea and bribery: B'ETOR: So why be our enemy, when you can be our friend? PICARD: You have manipulated the circumstances with the skill [pauses and turns to face Lursa] of a Romulan. My decision will be announced at high sun tomorrow. Excellent tea. Good day, ladies. Which was just so much more perfect, because they actually WERE scheming with the Romulans so he was also telling them that he'd already seen through them, while insulting them.

Russet: I've struck a nerve! Kira: No THIS is striking a nerve (plants fist firmly between spleen and kidney).

There needs to be a video on "10 moments where Vulcans were sassy af"

"I'm not talking about the puppy." Just about died laughing at that one

Another great one from Wrath of Khan: As Khan is chasing Kirk into the nebula, Khan's right hand man slows the ship done ("We don't want to follow them into the Nebula!"). Kirk, when he see's this, hails Khan with this zinger: "Khan, I'm laughing at the superior intellect". Possibly the one insult that would send Khan into a blind rage.

"You are incapable of that level of incompetence." - Riker

Great list. I wish we had room for 10 more. I personally loved...and use often...the line from Message in a Bottle when the Doctor says: "you know, you really should keep a personal log, why bore others needlessly".

I never knew that Worf's wife and Q's Wife were played by the same actress, but now that I do, I can't unsee it. This is why I watch these videos. I learn so many new and awesome things.

McCoy: Well, we found a whole world of minds that work just like yours - logical, unemotional, completely pragmatic - and we poor, irrational humans whipped them in a fair fight. Now you'll find yourself back among us illogical humans again. Spock: Which I find eminently satisfactory, Doctor, for *nowhere* am I so *desperately* needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.

Practically EVERY interaction with Q and Picard has very good zingers. My fave is when Q claims he's "God" and Picard calls bullshit because he refuses to believe the universe was designed THAT badly.

My favourites are still from "The Trouble with Tribbles" - Nilz Baris : Captain Kirk, I consider your security measures a disgrace. In my opinion, you have taken this entire, very important project far too lightly. Capt. Kirk : On the contrary, sir. I think of this project as very important. It is YOU I take lightly. Actually, come to think of it - that whole episode is burn after burn.

Q: "What must I do to convince you?" Worf: "Die."

The greatest burn of all time was... THERE ARE 4 LIGHTS!! talk about toughness

If the last line of this scene from TOS “Amok Time” wasn’t a burn, I don’t know what it would be (other than in the top 10 McCoy and Spock moments). McCoy: "There's just one thing, Mr. Spock. You can't tell me that when you first saw Jim alive that you weren't on the verge of giving us an emotional scene that would have brought the house down!" Spock: "Merely my quite logical relief that Starfleet had not lost a highly proficient Captain." Kirk: "Yes, Mr. Spock. I understand." Spock: "Thank you, Captain." McCoy"Of course, Mr. Spock, your reaction was quite logical…" Spock: "Thank you, Doctor." McCoy’s burn: "…in a pig's eye!"

You missed the ultimate Star Trek burn: ''Stonn, she is yours, after a time you will find that HAVING is not as pleasing a thing as WANTING. It is not logical but often true.''

The best line in The Voyage Home is "They are not the hell your whales". Well maybe not, there are SO many.

Spock: They remind me of the lilies of the field. "They toil not, neither do they spin." But they seem to eat a great deal. I see no practical use for them. McCoy: Does everything have to have a practical use for you? They're nice, soft, and furry, and they make a pleasant sound. Spock: So would an ermine violin, but I see no advantage in having one.

Garak: “You shot me!” Bashir: “You’ll live; it’s just a flesh wound.”

"Dismissed. That's a Starfleet expression for 'get out.'"

Seven of Nine to the Borg Queen: Comforting words. Use them next time instead of "Resistance is futile. You may elicit a few volunteers."

"Well, double dumb ass on you". The entire theater laughed out loud.

need a reversed polarity version of this video: a list of the greatest one liners. of course it would have to include such lines as Spock's "Nor I, a work of art...", or Riker's delivery of "One, or both?" (from the episode where he serves on a Klingon ship).

Spock.......she's very emotional, I've often wondered why you married her Sarek........at the time it seemed the logical thing to do.

Picard's "you may test that assumption at your convenience"! "Shall we die together?" Is the most badass reply to a bully. That is Picard!

Odo - You'd shoot a man in the back? Garak - Well, it's the safest way isn't? And Then I thought nah, who's going to help me against all these Klingons? So I let him live." Odo - And now you regret it? Garak -Ah. my dear constable, by the end of the day everyone on this station is going to regret it!.

Kirk: "I would not presume to debate you." Spock: "That is wise."

RIP Andreas Katsulas. In "All Good Things" his character Tomalak seems to have realized Picard is a man to be respected and believed. I wish we could have seen more of an arc with him.

1: Data describing the make up of his skull and spinal support to the klingon that head butted him 2: Data alters his premace of the game 3: Picard "With the first link the chain is forged"-"Villians who twirl their mustaches are easy to spot" 4: Worf tells Q to "Die"

I think the saddest thing about Voyager, is the fact that it is highly likely that Janeway's dog dies before she gets home. Unless they apply the same life extending technology to dogs that they do to humans.

Looking through the comment section, there's definitely need for a second video of this nature. 🖖

Hairy Kim blurts out, "I've never seen anything like it!". Tuvok whispers to Hairy Kim over the comm badge, saying, "Don't say stuff like that while in front of the junior officers.". Later, Tuvok replied to The Captain, "I cannot offer identification." when asked if he knows what they are looking at. Hairy Kim whispers to Tuvok over the comm badge, saying, "In other words, you haven't seen anything like it. Oh, don't worry, I won't tell the junior officers.".

Good compilation, thanks for that.... There are a few charactors who deliver some great lines regularly.... Garrick had some of the best come back and sarcastic lines in the whole show, the ones featured in this compilation, the Tailor Shop and later, Bio Bed comment to Bashir about the Klingon assault are right up there with the best... Quark could also be relied upon to make us laugh too... Talking to Odo he complains about the noise that Odo is making during sleep time in his quarters above him..... Odo says he transformed into some small animal that would make little noise and asked Quark..."You heard that?"...... Quark replied something to the effect..... "What did you expect....with these ears?" That had me howling.... 😂🤣

When Spock called Sulu "D'artagnon' after he pinches Sulu unconscious in "The Naked Time" "Take D'artagnon here to sickbay"

Riker you're so stolid, you weren't like that before the beard!

Spock doing the neck pinch on the punk playing his ghetto-blaster at full volume shuts up soon enough. That 'extra' Kirk Thatcher apparently was a producer on that movie.

"You tried to destroy it once, Commodore. The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew." Spock to Matt Decker, 'The Doomsday Machine'.

"Shut up, Wesley!" 'Nuff said.

Here's another good one from Garak. I won't go into the details, though I hope it's well remembered. "Now get out of here, before I say something unkind."

I would have loved to read/seen more of Nestral's experience after he parted ways with his crew to spend the rest of his life on Earth. My favorite burn: "I think you're both going to be insufferably pleased with yourselves for at least a month... SIR." ST:TOS "Friday's Child"

- Whenever I look at you now I won't see a powerful cardassian warrior, I will see a six-year-old boy who was powerless to protect himself. - Be quiet! - Despite all you've done to me, I find you a pitiable man. - Picard, stop it. Or I will turn this on and leave you in agony all night. - Ahhhahh! You called me Picard! - What are the federation's defense plans for Minas Corva?! - There are FOUR lights!

This list would have been far more interesting if instead of repeating everything word for word, you had actually played the segments where the characters actually uttered the burns !!!!

Andreas Katsulas had such a screen presence.He is sorely missed.

Love how Vulcans made the list 3 times and Picard 2 times. Glad Garak made the list, wish he had been #1.

There’s always one minor blip on each of these videos 😩. “What are you doing with that DOG” Also, I was hoping to hear my favorite McCoy line from TMP “Spock, your child is about to wipe away every living thing on earth. Now what do you suggest we do? Spank it?!”

This kinda seems like a bottom barrel subject, I love it, this is some of the fun of a great franchise. Odo…with the durrass sisters “DEPUTY: Sir, we've had a little problem. These two women are just arriving. They objected to giving up their weapons. LURSA: Klingons do not surrender their weapons. ODO@ Who are you? LURSA: We are Lursa and B'Etor. Of the house of Duras. ODO: And we have specific regulations. You can leave the weapons or leave the station. Your choice. Please make it now. B'ETOR: Who are you? ODO: I'm the one giving you the choice. (They hand over the weapons) ODO: Welcome to DS Nine.”

In the U.S. version of the episode, Female Q says "What are you doing with that *dog*?" and follows up with "I'm not talking about the *puppy*."

while it wasn't one of my favorite burns this one cracked me up: WORF: Your motives for rescuing me were not honourable. EZRI: Do you really think that I would disobey orders and risk my life so I could seduce you? I hate to burst your bubble, Worf, but it wasn't that good.

My personal favorite: Sisko: (punches Q) Q: Picard never punched me. Sisko: I’m not Picard. And Q never appeared in DS9 again. Coincidence? I think not.

"You may test that assumption at that convenience" the galaxy sized quantum balls on this man!!!

What about Kira's comment to Quark in Emissary, after he attempts to flirt with her, when she says; "If you don't take that hand off my hip, you'll never be able to raise a glass with it again". With Kira around there would never be any sexual harassment in the workplace.

The Voyager episode 'The Q and the Grey' had probably the funniest line John De Lancie ever spoke, and his delivery was absolutely flawless- Q- (referring to Neelix) "you! Bar Rodent...!" 😆

10:24 Garak should have a list like this of his own!