10 Things to NEVER SAY to Someone With Bipolar Disorder! 

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"You don't look bipolar" What do you want from me? You want me to light somebody's car on fire?

Another rule DON'T force someone who is bipolar to be around others

"Just calm down." Literally throws me into a psychotic break.

I fell for a woman with bipolar and I keep coming back to these videos so I can continue to support her, most people in her life never took the time to understand what she is going through so she thinks that I'm going to do the same, but each and everytime I prove to her that I'm there to support her through anything no matter how tough it gets ( it gets really tough at times) but I never give up, so thank you so much for helping me understand how to be there and help

My favorite is, "are you high?" when I'm manic.

Reading all these comments I realized I'm such an ass. I think I've said 90% of them to my gf in the last few days. Thank you all for showing me the mirror.

My husband is bipolar. We've been together for 14 years and it's heaven and hell for the both of us. I've tried to help him for years until I realized that just makes it worse. Now, all I do is hold him when he's sad or rub his back, but trying to "solve the problem" is futile. I don't try to find solutions anymore, and it's made it so much better. He knows he is having an episode and it will pass, so we just wait it out until it does.

"stop being sad it's effecting everyone, not just you" "control yourself!" "stop using it as an excuse"

I really get pissed off when I hear someone tell another person "you're so bipolar".. It's a friggin' insult to people who are bipolar and have to deal with it everyday.

0:30 “Why don’t you just snap out of it?” 1:13 “Are you taking your meds?” 2:15 “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” 3:22 “But you act so normal” 4:22 “It must be your time of the month” 5:13 “Everyone is a little bipolar sometimes” 6:06 “Have you tried going to church’s door praying it away?” 7:29 “Happiness is just a choice” 8:58 “How could you be depressed you are so well off?” 10:39 “Have you ever thought of taking/doing this to get off all those pills?”

I hate it when someone tell me to stop being lazy. I'm not lazy dammit!!!!

As someone who is very religious, I agree. I saw a video of a mom praying away her son's autism and it made me sad. Don't add salt in the wounds of people who already feel rejected by society. We just want to be loved as we are and supported within that.

"everyone is depressed and has anxiety, you just need some yoga and meditation, you'll be fine..."

"Why don't you go to bed earlier? If I stayed up all night, I'd also feel bad."

"I can't help you if you don't help yourself"

"you just need to get yourself on a schedule" ""why are you so anxious, you have nothing to be worried about" "are you getting manic again?" (when you finally seem to stabilize and have some genuine happiness and fun) "nothing i do is good enough/it's impossible to make you happy" "lots of people in this world have it worse than you" "how can you be tired., you've been sleeping all day/week" "you are so smart, how can you make such stupid decisions?" "in MY day all we did was drink a 6 pack and sucked it up" "you have too much time on your hands. I don't have time to be depressed"

"I don't think you have bipolar, you're just anxious", yes, tell that to my medical team

this disorder is not an excuse , it's an explanation

Happiness is a choice...very triggering for me.

I'm literally crying because of how accurate this is. I'm struggling internally, the swings are so hard to manage that I often feel so disoriented and lost. Having bipolar disorder is so hard and sometimes I really want it to go away. I hate myself for having this cause I have no control over what I think, feel or do when it's triggered. A lot of people have told me to "just cheer up" "think of positive thoughts" "be happy" and I wanted nothing more than to just disappear. When people say shit like that it feels like they're invalidating my disorder and struggles. It sucks man, it really does. I hope we all are able to be in a better place.

I have Bipolar II Disorder, and SO many well-meaning people have asked me if I've prayed for healing. I am a Christian, and yes, I have prayed for healing. I also have an excellent healthcare provider, meds that keep me stable, and a long-term care plan. I'm going to live with this for the rest of my life. I consider myself blessed to have the means to take care of myself.

I really hate it when people who are closest to me say shit like “omg stop overthinking, you always do this...” genuinely makes my blood boil

Mine would be "I can't talk to you now, I'll talk to you again when you can be more rational"

My mom is undiagnosed bipolar and my older brother is diagnosed bipolar. I’ve gone my whole life trying to figure what was wrong with me, so I’ve been educating myself about mental health and personalities. I’ve struggled with depression, self harm, and lost the best job I’ve ever had due to substance abuse. My toxic behavior was never noticed, because my brother had all the attention. I took it upon myself to make an attempt at getting better, for my little girls sake. Living with my daughters mother was what brought out the worst in me. I am her scapegoat, who will never live up to her unrealistic expectations. She blamed me for everything wrong in our relationship. Drove me back to my toxic habits and then being shunned for not being better even “after all the work she’s put into me”. Things she’d say that would trigger would be : •Do better. •It’s all in my head, i just need to work and get over it •there’s no such thing as depression I just have to make better choices and stop being lazy. •stop playing the victim • happiness is a mindset I could go on. The thing that drove me to the darkest time I’ve ever been through was when i lost my 401 k career, and as if I wasn’t at my point of break, she added “ I knew it was too good to be true, so i didn’t get my hopes high “. Sorry for the rant some of its irrelevance, but I feel as if the cloud over my head is clearing. Feels good to vent and to know I’m not alone.

I had someone tell me it's a choice ... like TF why would I choose this?

"You're delusional.". That one hurts me the most.

My favorite is “Bipolar is just an excuse for bad behavior”

People tell me “call me when you’re sad, I can help.” Right! I’m not calling anyone to tell them I’m depressed. Who wants it dumped on them.

“Why are you being so sensitive?” Instant rage! 😤

"You just need to learn how to cope with things better."

I really appreciate how he says 'we' and not 'I' or 'you'

The one I get from my ex-friends and family members is: You are just faking it.... They have been calling me a liar for years. I am seeing a therapist, a psychologist, and am taking meds just to cope. Telling someone who struggles everyday with bipolar 2 they are liars just makes them feel worse. To me it was close to ending my life. I cut ties with all of them and now I am much better. Not the best but better.

"Everybody's dealing with something."

How about a list of 10 things to OFTEN SAY to a person with bipolar that somehow helps.

“Just pray about it, and everything will be fine. There are people out in the world who aren’t as blessed as you.“

I work in the medical field and I have bipolar 1. It annoys the crap out of me when people say, “oh watch out for patient ______, he’s bipolar.” Or “watch what you do, he/she has bipolar” it makes me cringe. I feel like saying, I have it too, I’ve told a few people and they are shocked that I am bipolar. They have such negative views on us that I want to make invisible illness more visible and let them know we have good days too, especially on our meds and a good psych team.

"Have you tried meditation and mindfulness?" honey, I'm buddhist

I had to constantly hear my family members compare me to my siblings or "the rest of society." Bipolar is a very unfair thing to be born with. But I'm still here because I was strong.

Getting told prayer is all you need hurts me deeply as a Christian and as a bipolar sufferer. I tell my mom all the time that I definitely want prayer and I pray too. Being bipolar doesn’t make me a non Christian and being a Christian doesn’t make me not bipolar.

Wow! How can I say it? I am 54 year old male and less than one year ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It took me the destruction of my marriage of 29 years to realize that there was something wrong with me but I just could not put the finger on it. Thank God I found this channel. It has really made a difference in my life. Your videos have helped me to explain to my loved ones how it feels to be a bipolar person, the struggles that we go through, and how these diseases affect me and my loved ones. Thank you so much for your videos.

“Must be so convenient to have an excuse” This really sets me off yea so convenient that I feel like my world is crumbeling around me or that I feel like ending it all.

"you don t look bipolar" " it s all in your head " " you are so strong and happy all the time " ( since they don t see the other side ) " you are crazy and always spend a lot of money on useless stuff " " i don t believe in mental illness" " reading about mental illness is scary you might catch it "

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” THAT. ONE. I’ve realized the reality of it is “What doesn’t kill you makes you want to die.”

I have Bipolar 2 disorder and these are my suggestions to never say to someone who has this condition : 1 “You’re too thin skinned. You’re so sensitive. “ 2 “You take everything so personal “ If this statement needs to be used to address a person with bipolar disorder, It should be done with sincerity, explanation and intention. Making assumptions are one of the biggest things that hurt and at times elicited triggers. I’m not a health professional, just someone who’s had this condition for many years and has seriously considered suicide more than once. Therapy and support has saved me.

I’ve been called lazy by family and friends when I am so depressed I can’t get out of bed. I hate that. I’m not lazy I physically can’t get out of bed.

The first one mentioned hit me in the chest. "Why don't you just snap out of it?" Just you saying it, verifying it happens to others gives me some comfort. Thank you.

Another one is, “you’re crazy,” or, “ you’re psycho. “

What gets my goat is "You just gotta push through!"

I wish there was a "normal" button.

Worst one: "you're just an attention seeker" plus, : "you're such a drama queen". I was diagnosed with bipolar a few years ago. I have a 4 year old son, and i tried my best to be a good mom. I was told that im not a good mom and that i'm being lazy; that i am being over dramatic and negative: that my depression is just an excuse...it hurts...they dont understand what i've been going through....the struggle is real....i'm glad i found your channel....atleast i know im not alone. By the way, my late mom had schizophrenia...and my son was diagnoased with adhd.

I would hear things like, “stop being so sensitive” or “you’re so moody.” It solidified in my mind that my thought process was not normal, and made me feel guilty for feeling the way I do.

The worst thing you can say to someone who is bipolar is to get over the things that have traumatized you. I'm so glad I seen your great video. I'm subscribed, thank you so much.

My personal favourite is ‘it’s all in your head’ as if that makes it ‘not real’. Like yes I know it’s in my head that’s the problem!

“You just need to learn how to budget and discipline your self control” when I’m manic and trying not to spend all my money

Sometimes the best way to help is simply to be a great listener. Don’t try and fix them. Just love them and accept them for who they are!!

Not acknowledging our feelings and instead just calling us delusional

"You only care about yourself" when i am to tired or my brain feels foggy and i cant do any chore at home

“Just snap out of it” messes you up every time. When they don’t understand that our disorder isn’t what we can control over. It hurts when I’m venting to my friends/family and all they tell me is to “snap out of it” or “it’s all in your head. Get over it.”

Someone tells me, "Talk to me when you feel better" just makes me rage

Bipolar mom here and you hit it on the nail.... too much ignorance and people who speak with no knowledge. I hate having this illness. I was diagnosed over 20 years ago and still haven't been treated correctly. It wrecks me. I've heard many times, you're too pretty to be depressed, or what could possibly make you so upset? We already have a hard time loving ourselves, so when someone makes us only feel worse about our actions or emotional shortcomings it is very dangerous.... like you said... it IS a life threatening illness. I think I'm still in denial after going through hell on earth in my mind and wanting to end my life on many occasions. If i didn't have kids and parents who loved me I would of been one of those statistics of suicide. Real talk. Real illness we deal with. I consider myself a warrior no doubt. Thank you so much for your videos.

People say I need to get out more, do things, etc. I can only handle trips to store or doctor, otherwise I stay home.

My personal favorite, heard many times, “Why don’t you just take a walk?” Arghh!

OMG the "have you taken your meds" my husband says that to me if I get in a bad mood. Makes a simple bad mood a real pissed off mood. He thinks that I should never get angry EVER if I'm on meds.

“Just snap out of it.” I told her it wasn’t that easy, but she kept hammering. 😤😤😤

My favorite, "you stress me out" like I don't stress my enough.

In not so many words: “You’re a flake”. I’ve heard this so so much. I’ve got Bipolar 2 and people don’t understand that I’m not TRYING to skip out on responsibilities, it’s just that depressed me can’t live at the same pace as hypomanic me.

To those with religious inclinations: Your brain is an organ, just like your lungs, heart, liver, kidneys, ect... so please don't ask people with psychiatric conditions to just pray about it. You wouldn't ask anybody else with an ill organ to give up medication for the pain or dysfunction of that organ on just hope??

Hi, I was just hospitalized due to a really bad manic episode and was just diagnosed with bipolar 1, and I’m so thankful that I found ur channel. Thank you so much for making these videos

The meds are a hell all their own.

I hate when people tell my nephew “Awe com on now, You stronger than this! Your a proud native man! You can overcome this!!” They don’t understand and I don’t either. Being that I love my nephew and another friend that are bi-polar. I want understand and be there for them, so they don’t feel so alone.

People judge u on how u look but they don't know what's going on inside me

Hearts and hugs to you all 🥰💕 Stay strong, you matter.

Please add "stop being so negative" as if its ausation that we aren't trying hard enough and just have a negative attitude. That infuriates me.

I hate the "snap out of it" statement 😣.

This one's that get under my skin the worst would be "You're just being dramatic" 😩 And "you have a perfect life what do you have to be sad about?" Yeah real perfect.. when you actually see me out and about. But before then I was in bed for 10 days wishing I was dead. Thanks for your channel 👍

Hey. I subbed because my girlfriend has been diagnosed with bipolar, thankfully as a person with depression there is a lot of overlap on what not to say! I wanted to say that I really appreciate how gentle you are in talking about this, mostly towards people who only see bi-polar from the outside. My girlfriend gets frustrated because she doesn’t feel her diagnoses has been very well explained to her, and she really hates it when people tell her that what she’s going through is ‘normal’, it’s basically a swear word in our house right now. I don’t want her to feel isolated, like what she’s going through is totally unknowable or that each time she has an episode it’s not always that hard on people around her if we’re paying attention. Her problem has a name, it’s knowable, we can find a way to work through this, over and over again if necessary. I mostly just don’t want her to be so scared anymore. So, thank you very much for your work. I’m going to send her the odd one so she can watch these in her own time.

"You don't have it that bad. There are millions of people that have it worse than you. You have no reason to be depressed. You were fine just a moment ago."

I hear "I understand" alot which makes me want to slap someone, no you don't. Unless you ride this rollercoaster of hell you really don't

"I know how you feel" is one that grates my carrot the most...

Yes the old "are you taking your meds" line.

I also hate it when people casually say they have ocd because they like things in s particular order. Rarrgh.

Very good video again. 😊 One comment I hate is "Just take one day at a time." A depressed person cannot even always take one hour at a time, you just try to survive from one second to the next.

I’m determined to help and learn more about bipolar for my friend. Thank you for being a great resource.

Thank you. Living with the consequences of choices (made when manic) also hurts, knowing that being estranged from one’s own children ( 2 out of 3) and grandchildren (5 out of 8)...because of being ‘unstable’...is a very sad consequence yet I have to find a way to live through this ‘grief’...thank you for making this.

I was undiagnosed until my mid-30s and I grew up hearing all of these from my very well-meaning mother. Psych says that your most involved parent and their words become your inner voice as an adult and this holds true for me. My inner voice sounds just like her. I know that it came from a place of love and still does but it hurts none-the-less; it just made me (and still does because now i do it to myself via my inner voice) feel worse and question wtf was wrong with me. I get it,... I should be grateful "because so many have it so much worse and I have so much to be thankful for",... it's true. One piece of advice that she gave me as a Christian that has helped is to "count my blessings" when I can't calm down or go to sleep. If I (you?) do it the right way, it helps a great deal. "I'm thankful to have my mom with me still (my dad passed away when I was very young)", "I am thankful for having family and friends that truly love me", "I am thankful that every day is another opportunity for a better day (in one way or another)", "I'm thankful for my mind and my love for [whatever subject I love and devour most] and my love for learning", "I am thankful for those that help me", "I am thankful for my home/cozy blanket/cat/husband or boyfriend (whatev) that brings me joy"... anything positive that IS NOT comparing. NEVER tell yourself things like "well I don't feel well but it could be so much worse. I could be like blah, blah, blah..." or "at least I have a home and I'm not sleeping in a car and eating out of a trash can!" She loved me, she still does, so very much and she tries very hard to do what is best for me, especially when I need her most. What has become my favorite of all things she says (there's so many ❤)... "Pull up your big girl panties, put on that beautiful smile, head held high and keep on trucking!" She knows I'm capable and need a boost of confidence. Most times it works but sometimes I'm too far gone and it angers me and I have to step back. I don't want to hurt her. She means well and loves me more than anyone and I do my best not to punish her for loving me how she knows best and she deserves the best parts of me. I hope this helps someone.

I sometimes get told that I’m pretending to have something wrong with me. That it’s all an act. I wish it was 😢

just want to say thanks as someone newly diagnosed late in life what's been huge for me is discovering that I'm not alone and that my symptoms aren't indicative of weakness or laziness. The guilt and shame I've felt and the frustration I've felt at my powerlessness has been devastating at times keeping me stuck resentful and hopeless. Your videos are relatable and helpful. I feel better to learn I'm not alone

This made me open my eyes ! Sometimes we say things without thinking! Words might mean meaningless to some but to others it will cause harm !

"You're just using that as an excuse" that's something I hear all the time

I have fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, and stenosis and I have heard all of these things about me! I have a daughter and brother who are both bipolar so I'm watching these videos to better understand and help them in a positive way. Thank you for your information and God bless you all!

My COUNCILOR, during our last session said "I feel like with the mood you're in, no matter what I suggest, you'll just be negative"...OMG! Yeah, I was pretty stunned by that one. She, of ANYone should have known better than to say something like that.

"If i can do it, you can do it" which goes along with the "just snap out of it" thing

I hate when people think im ungrateful during my depressive stages or just faking it bc i can be happy during my manic stages.

Thank you so much for making these videos. My favorite person has been struggling with mental illness and she just told me she got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I come from a family that knows nothing and refuses to learn about mental illness. I’m so thankful that this information is around so I know what to say and not to say. I want to be supportive. I love this person and I want to be there to help whenever I can

"Everyone is bipolar sometimes" that was the one hahaha I've heard that plenty of times

This is so accurate and well explained. Thank you. Other favourites sure to flip me into an extreme outburst of anger are “have you tried going for a walk?” and “here’s a book I read about a positive mindset, you should read it”.

Number 11, Never say I have an incurable disease. I will never give up on myself.

Gentle, loving kindness. Something I never had!!

"All they have to do is take a pill and their problem will be gone" mmmm NO!!! This comes from the mother of someone who is bipolar, but it helped me understand why people with bipolar disorder do not go get the help they so desperately need. I wish people would educate themselves more, I have and while I cannot say I know how someone with bipolar disorder feels, I can say that I understand it better. Thank you for your videos Rob, I can't stop watching them! They have helped me put the information I've been reading about bipolar disorder into perspective and helped me understand it more. I am hoping that in the future mental illness is not looked at with the stigma that it is looked at right now. Kudos to you my dear!!! :) Keep up the good work!!!