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162 - Assland 

The Tim Dillon Show
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The Patreon is up! Link below! This week Tim broadcasts from the garage at 2 in the morning to talk about Songland, a funny idea he pitched with Mullen that got rejected, and yet another altercation at Swinger's Diner. It's war now.
At 42:46 I cut out a 2 min portion where Tim sings over the Doja Cat Juicy song. It's only available on the RSS feed (Apple podcasts etc). Didn't want to get copyrighted on RU-vid and get a strike against the channel, but you can still hear that part anywhere you listen to the podcast.
For Bonus Episodes, 145 archives, and longer sketches:
/ thetimdillonshow
Please Support Our Sponsors:
Go to www.timdillonsgoingtohell.com/ and follow the link at the bottom to get 10% OFF any Wix Premium Plans!
Check out www.bluechew.com and use promo code TD for your first order free!
If you go to monday.com/tim, they are going to give you a free 14 day trial.
Follow the show:
Tim J DIllon - / timjdillon
Ben Avery - / benaveryisgood
Devan Costa - / devancosta

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Опубликовано:

 

23 авг 2019

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Комментарии : 294   
@FlaminggMoe
@FlaminggMoe 3 года назад
"I'm happy where I am. In a garage with the truth". - Tim Dillon
@haideralibd
@haideralibd 2 года назад
1:00:31
@trentjung8035
@trentjung8035 Год назад
The fans are requesting Tim Dillon to come back to the garage
@namelesswalaby
@namelesswalaby Год назад
Yes Tim please go back to the garage for the love of god
@Anita_Backrub
@Anita_Backrub Год назад
😂😂😂
@juanayala6057
@juanayala6057 Год назад
@@trentjung8035 yessir. There’s no angst anymore. No more hatred.
@joeyorlando547
@joeyorlando547 4 года назад
"Where can I eat late night thats open 24/7??" Tim- "Go to bed"
@justinreilly1
@justinreilly1 6 месяцев назад
Just stumbled onto one of the best rants ever- from plotting presidential assassinations at the knickerbocker to barricading yourself in the bathroom bc your kid is trying to knock down the door to steal your back medication, this is one of those Tim rants that epitomizes America it’s best 🇺🇸
@matthewbond375
@matthewbond375 3 года назад
Do you keep it juicy?! DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH?!
@KarenTookTheKids364
@KarenTookTheKids364 4 года назад
I love how the Wix ad led to Tim saying that amateur photographers should be thrown in a lake.
@yawnhiccup
@yawnhiccup 3 года назад
😂
@MaTtYMcBlack
@MaTtYMcBlack 4 года назад
Tim is my Sunday morning church mass.
@GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders
Tim is more like my Fox News and I'm one of those old ladies that watches until 1am
@CedricWilliams67
@CedricWilliams67 4 года назад
Doja cat lyric breakdown....flawless. "written by malfunctioning speech to text". Lol
@mindgames9614
@mindgames9614 2 года назад
Time stamp?
@D34D22
@D34D22 2 года назад
@@mindgames9614 40:11
@phoenixrising7047
@phoenixrising7047 4 года назад
Tim has the best ads hands down.
@blazedandconfused477
@blazedandconfused477 4 года назад
Tim was inspired by Cumtown's ads.
@trentjung8035
@trentjung8035 2 года назад
The only show where the ads are actually entertaining as well LOL
@moriyokiri3229
@moriyokiri3229 2 года назад
Are these people real doctors? Who gives a fuck
@griffytok7220
@griffytok7220 4 года назад
DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH?
@elliotjoseph9654
@elliotjoseph9654 4 года назад
I will forever listen to Tim Dillon, you are my internet daddy now
@Alex-sr7xu
@Alex-sr7xu 2 года назад
To me, he's a like a guide... a philosopher. Tim is my Socrates.
@bradleyjones288
@bradleyjones288 4 года назад
I would watch Tim Dillon do anything. I would get cable again to watch it. Give the man what he needs to create goddamn it.
@LukeOfEarl77
@LukeOfEarl77 4 года назад
I heard he has a pornhub account if you pay for the premium service
@Yodalemos
@Yodalemos 3 года назад
I think we need to keep him poor and struggling for our content.
@aculasabacca
@aculasabacca 3 года назад
@@Yodalemos I totally agree, but if he ran for president he'd have my vote.
@aculasabacca
@aculasabacca 3 года назад
@@LukeOfEarl77 How dare you defile this thread with such an abhorrent post?
@bahaeddinelimam3047
@bahaeddinelimam3047 Год назад
@@aculasabaccahappy with the new episodes?
@adanbravo4722
@adanbravo4722 2 года назад
This is my favorite episode ever. I don’t really listen to Tim anymore and I don’t pay for his patreon, but I can come back to this episode any day and laugh my ass off.
@Deezzznutttzzzx
@Deezzznutttzzzx 2 года назад
It’s 10x more funny now ur missing out
@tangyplays2661
@tangyplays2661 4 года назад
The Songland material had me crying. So funny. Thank you!
@centurionl
@centurionl 3 года назад
I was driving and almost crashed cuz i couldn't see through my tears
@papetoure952
@papetoure952 3 года назад
The Doja Cat bit is one of the funniest things I heard in a while, this is the guy for end of the world comedy
@Dild0Fagg1ns
@Dild0Fagg1ns 2 года назад
I'm crushing an Adderall during my shift at my restaurant right now. If everyone was as nice as you Tim.
@UniMatrix_1
@UniMatrix_1 9 месяцев назад
You're an American inspiration 🥔🚬
@FRM101
@FRM101 5 месяцев назад
share with the class
@rosswalkman9652
@rosswalkman9652 3 месяца назад
We wish you well……. It’s a real knife fight out there.
@damiens6465
@damiens6465 3 месяца назад
Life in the big city… But you Have the adderal-and that ain’t nothin. Yes or yes?
@zornu
@zornu 3 месяца назад
this is still my favorite episode from start to finish
@ryanbreiling8622
@ryanbreiling8622 3 года назад
How does this only have 32k views?!?!? One of the best podcasts of all time
@Johnnylewis42069
@Johnnylewis42069 3 года назад
He really blew up in the past half a year. This episode is my favorite I come back and listen often haha
@mikeramaa
@mikeramaa 4 года назад
“Kourtney Kardashian...A beagle!”
@SickTroll
@SickTroll 2 года назад
And a
@danielluna7648
@danielluna7648 3 года назад
Tim Dillon is the inspirational speaker this generation needs, but doesn't deserve.
@ajaj3196
@ajaj3196 4 года назад
Modonna's dad worked in a tank barrel factory well into the 90s. He worked with my neighbor.
@cecilyt006
@cecilyt006 4 года назад
Absolutely fucking brilliant start to finish!! I'm in awe of the brilliance. NOBODY is on point like Tim Dillon.
@TonsMoreCowbell
@TonsMoreCowbell 4 года назад
Tim Dillon is the least gay male comic in hollywood
@lordswaggity1213
@lordswaggity1213 4 года назад
TEST WHY ARE MY COMMENTS NOT GOING THROUGH
@lordswaggity1213
@lordswaggity1213 4 года назад
THERE!
@alaskansummertime
@alaskansummertime 4 года назад
Actually he makes a lot less gay comments than the average Rogan podcast. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I really thought the pants were gonna drop last time the Legion of skanks were on.
@TonsMoreCowbell
@TonsMoreCowbell 4 года назад
@@alaskansummertime rogan was exhibit a for my comment. The man drinks more cum than water most days.
@deb2583
@deb2583 4 года назад
@@lordswaggity1213 because you are a capslock addict.
@anonymousconflict2881
@anonymousconflict2881 3 года назад
Tim went off in this episode more than usual lol 😂
@RJones-es7ur
@RJones-es7ur Год назад
Anyone else coming back to these gems after the Ben break-up and the general slide into Hell?
@MikeOcksmallClips
@MikeOcksmallClips Год назад
The show sucks now. Im glad I gave all the episodes archived from 1 to 160
@Kambino
@Kambino 2 года назад
such an underrated episode
@Sprite_525
@Sprite_525 4 года назад
38:05 this has to be a ringtone
@GodsNode
@GodsNode 4 года назад
No one knows funny LIKE CHRISSY TEIGEN.
@deezlesteezle
@deezlesteezle 3 месяца назад
WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA
@amiller8030
@amiller8030 2 года назад
I miss these older episodes, the newer ones are good/ok but his older ones are prophetic and hilarious.
@trentjung8035
@trentjung8035 2 года назад
Hungry artists make great content
@deezlesteezle
@deezlesteezle 3 месяца назад
Tim's definitely not hungry.
@maxr1826
@maxr1826 3 года назад
"I don't like Swingers, but I keep going back."
@hxxvxnly
@hxxvxnly 3 года назад
Tim Dillon saved my sanity
@nexttonowhere
@nexttonowhere 4 года назад
"Fail because you just suck" - Tim Dillon 2019
@TheOhman123
@TheOhman123 3 года назад
This is one of the funniest things to come out of the galaxy's snatch.
@kyanrinel5898
@kyanrinel5898 3 года назад
17:30 How happy am I that I decided to listen to this random old Podcast from Timmy D and stumbled upon one of the greatest comedic bits in the history of podcasting? Very, that’s how.
@Auz541
@Auz541 4 года назад
You've earned a new fan!! Keep speaking the truth 😂😂
@tom1574
@tom1574 4 года назад
I see moving to LA is going well
@vinnythornton2930
@vinnythornton2930 2 года назад
" nobody feels the sting of leather when they fuck up!" That statement encapsulates 2021
@mattdrummond3552
@mattdrummond3552 4 года назад
So funny. You're so right about Soho house too. Got dragged there once in LA and it was overpriced and full of empty narcissists
@Flashh130
@Flashh130 3 года назад
“Bring the funny? Bring a gun.”
@deezlesteezle
@deezlesteezle 3 месяца назад
WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA
@alucard6919
@alucard6919 2 года назад
"Many of you need to waste your time, that's all you're gonna do. In fact, your entire life, from birth to death, will be just different chunks of how you waste your time. " - Tim Dillon on photography.
@nighthawk695476
@nighthawk695476 2 года назад
I recently took up photography as a hobby. I cried laughing this "ad"
@T.I.M.Thirteen
@T.I.M.Thirteen 4 года назад
Somewhere in the multiverse there is a podcast that is co-hosted by Tim Dillon and Eddie Pepitone. Imagine!
@karlstrasen4758
@karlstrasen4758 4 года назад
Glad I'm not the only one who is bouncing back and forth between those two. Eddie, Devan Costa, and Godfrey are doing really great pods right now IMO. Tim is "a demon from hell" tho
@monkeytrousers6180
@monkeytrousers6180 4 года назад
They could have a shout off rival meltdown battle.
@mr.hostetter855
@mr.hostetter855 4 года назад
Eddie would just smoke crack and blow him after doing blasts.
@cadillacmac7099
@cadillacmac7099 4 года назад
I didnt use to watch the videos but now that I cant I want it.
@thairivera
@thairivera 4 года назад
Opens with “go watch Two Dope Queens” 😂😂😂
@YeTism
@YeTism 3 года назад
The doja cat bit had me in tears
@armani4267
@armani4267 4 года назад
I love his take on Chrissy
@coktoe4487
@coktoe4487 2 года назад
Working my way back from the beginning. Another great one.
@Scott-hh1dg
@Scott-hh1dg 4 года назад
Tim this is the only podcast I get excited for during the week ahead of it being released, fucking great!
@stephenbeltzner7736
@stephenbeltzner7736 4 года назад
you are a fantastic comedian. thank you again brother.
@Kyle-xt8ip
@Kyle-xt8ip 3 года назад
One of my favorites.
@johnortiz9201
@johnortiz9201 2 года назад
Top 5 episode
@joejohnson2447
@joejohnson2447 2 года назад
This is peak level podcasting!
@MewcePewpz
@MewcePewpz 3 года назад
discovering Tim Dillon has given my life meaning once again! To continue to sit around and wait for humanity to destroy itself pathetically. At least it's still pretty nice though, we still have food and comfort :)
@ontube781
@ontube781 4 года назад
You are 100% right. I love America but it's crazy how hard we work yet your neighbor has the same or better than you living off the government.
@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679
@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679 2 года назад
Not everyone. I got sick at 25 and it took me 10 years to get disabilty and im still fighting them to raise it. My medicine costs 3 to 4 hundred a month. I think people like me with congenital probs should get it. (No matter what actually. You would have to be a millionare to think my m3dical expenses are cheap.) I was too sick to work more than 10 yrs so thsts part of the reason they didnt give me much.
@annievkim
@annievkim 4 года назад
You... are hilarious. LOL
@Tom-V
@Tom-V 2 месяца назад
He's right about how entertainment is regressing 😂
@clv9056
@clv9056 4 года назад
"The world is burning." Lmao
@hxxvxnly
@hxxvxnly Год назад
Tim is still funny but dude he was so hilariously resonating when he didn’t have big money
@MikeOcksmallClips
@MikeOcksmallClips Год назад
Yeah I can’t listen to the new episodes they’re literally not good anymore. I still like Tim but he’s just not funny like he was here
@trevorjohnson4236
@trevorjohnson4236 Год назад
Everyone is funnier when they’re sad and broke
@PRACTICALVELOCITY
@PRACTICALVELOCITY 10 месяцев назад
factssss
@housematespodcast6738
@housematespodcast6738 3 года назад
lay the pipe, buy an estate, simple
@DJPsyfer
@DJPsyfer 3 года назад
A "STUNNING" Estate.
@housematespodcast6738
@housematespodcast6738 3 года назад
@@DJPsyfer my mistake fellow pig
@AlbertBormant
@AlbertBormant 3 года назад
Tim is a prophet
@filmerd
@filmerd 4 года назад
Tim Needs to host a show called race to the bottom which is all about the journey to Assland
@brencelt
@brencelt 4 года назад
God bless you
@eevenz
@eevenz 4 года назад
smashing this like button with no regrets
@distinguishedcolleague2345
@distinguishedcolleague2345 3 года назад
Someone better have downloaded this podcast so when the aliens come they can learn what happened to us in our last days
@colebucket6009
@colebucket6009 Год назад
“ u😊fzzfads zit😊st t da lost. 😂🕉️♎️♊️☪️☪️♌️♌️😂❤❤❤❤❤😊 no mv To vc C K skim ,
@GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders
Got u fam
@calwiggums3319
@calwiggums3319 4 года назад
Tim Dillon is quickly becoming one of my favorite comedians. Brilliant mind. (*Not to blow too much smoke up dudes ass)
@aculasabacca
@aculasabacca 3 года назад
44:30 Whhaatt? get the fuck out of my office. LMAO
@michaelhallen2808
@michaelhallen2808 3 года назад
Tim is a perfect mixture of Glenn Beck and Mort Downey Jr.
@PlayNiceFolks
@PlayNiceFolks 3 года назад
Glenn Beck.
@absentstars474
@absentstars474 4 года назад
Tims cartoon arms make me hungry for easter ham
@mickeycarney1
@mickeycarney1 3 года назад
Very very good episode. Crazy how some of these old episodes have so few views. Is it an algorithm thing maybe?
@musicloverkathy
@musicloverkathy 3 года назад
I know Ben is married, but I want him to marry me if they (heaven forbid) get divorced, I will be dead in a few years and he can have my apartment. It is in Canada and you have to be over 55, but Canada is ok.
@darkoverllord
@darkoverllord 2 года назад
so good. ;D
@minakalsi4232
@minakalsi4232 3 года назад
DO YOU KEEP IT JUICY DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH !
@heatvisuals
@heatvisuals 4 года назад
Hahahahhahhahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahhahah SoHo house yessssssssss!!!! Thank you for coming to Los Angeles Tim.
@oscar9680
@oscar9680 3 года назад
"It's one long orgasm, your whole fucking life" lmao true
@tophercortez7786
@tophercortez7786 2 года назад
I'm telling my kids this was Joe Rogan.
@APR944
@APR944 4 года назад
B.Y.O. Omelette? What the hell is a BYO omelette? Bind... your... orphan...? Omelette? So they’re selling orphans you get to tie up. Well I’m not FOR THAT! SORRY. Call me a square.
@vinesnicknv
@vinesnicknv 4 года назад
Get David Ike on!
@tonypino5415
@tonypino5415 3 года назад
That would either be amazing or incredibly awkward.
@HollerLogs
@HollerLogs 4 года назад
Bring the funny? Bring a gun!
@CedricWilliams67
@CedricWilliams67 4 года назад
Please tell me Tim Dillon does yelp reviews of swingers.
@ViolinViolaMasterclass
@ViolinViolaMasterclass Год назад
Omgggg the songs-thaaank you😄at one point in history, music was considered a sacred gift from God 😬😬😬
@phatbeatsonbadnews3360
@phatbeatsonbadnews3360 2 года назад
Bring back the BEATINGS, bring back the BELT….Not feeling the sting of leather 😂😂. He’s brilliant
@jonathanmolin
@jonathanmolin 4 года назад
Love ya Timmy you fab queen slay sis.
@iTzDarKxStaR
@iTzDarKxStaR 4 года назад
I wanna watch listen
@Diogenes.of.Sinope
@Diogenes.of.Sinope 4 года назад
1:06:05 is dilly's single best bit
@GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders
You got some nerve showing your face, Diogenes, your language is highly inappropriate, Thou speakest about which Thou knowest NAUGHT! 🧐😝
@etkarcalexico6526
@etkarcalexico6526 2 года назад
the cover art has tim smoking reds and we all know he smokes marbi lights.
@phatbeatsonbadnews3360
@phatbeatsonbadnews3360 2 года назад
His description of Doja cat’s musical process is laugh out loud brilliant…till I remember I was a hiphop head back in the day and the 90s was so beautiful (musically) and then THIS is what it became☹️ Oh well it ain’t my fault so I’m turning up the volume and poplockin my fat arse to a Pete Rock beat 🍻
@johnnybegood1730
@johnnybegood1730 4 года назад
Tim, mr Tim, mr Tim Dillon, you beutiful fat dillonater you, All the respects from Romania. You a mean sob, a truthfull one, a funny assland mofo/fofo . We all have soo much to learn from this gut take that you do. I feel that ther's not much spin in your work, and that's always refreshing. Keep It up man, You'll need it to crack the bastards. I'm sure you'll find pleasure in it. Ass. Land. Man that's a trademark.
@MikeOcksmallClips
@MikeOcksmallClips Год назад
Tim called Ice Spice 😂😂
@PhillDC
@PhillDC 3 года назад
They don’t know who to hate ... 😝
@khaledelsayed5357
@khaledelsayed5357 7 месяцев назад
Already watched this yet RU-vid doesn’t believe me
@MewcePewpz
@MewcePewpz 2 года назад
38:26 god i love this fucking bit....
@andrewlaco1776
@andrewlaco1776 4 года назад
We need to 'yes, and' our way into a sitcom that is literally the Waltons across the street from Euphoria. Just throw the whole spectrum onto my garbage plate and pass the hot sauce.
@kaliftedup
@kaliftedup 4 года назад
Stay in your garage with the truth!
@dankoni
@dankoni 4 года назад
yesssshhhhh
@lordswaggity1213
@lordswaggity1213 4 года назад
YAS QUEEN!
@AAMarc
@AAMarc 4 года назад
LMAO 45:00
@anonlllllll
@anonlllllll 2 года назад
Tim does not sound like this anymore
@heatvisuals
@heatvisuals 4 года назад
Hahahahahah oregon trail !!!!
@josephharper1838
@josephharper1838 4 года назад
Need the corey feldman skit gotta see it
@liamthegreat1231
@liamthegreat1231 2 года назад
RIP norm
@blazedandconfused477
@blazedandconfused477 4 года назад
But where the hell is Waldo? Did he get blasted by a nuke or trampled by the 4 horses of the apocalypse?
@TrollHiddenCave
@TrollHiddenCave 3 года назад
He's right tats look like skin disorders
@tony5826
@tony5826 3 года назад
Tim u hit the fu__ing nail rite in the fu__ing head with the leather I got it too
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