Check Out The Update Video I Just Posted! Don't worry I'm not depressed! I just felt like I needed an outlet to express myself, and hopefully I can inspire others with my optimism :)
MNRI (Masgutova Neurosensorimotor Reflex Integration). Has helped me with my anxiety and panic attacks. Maybe this might help. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-BNkwrTjofhc.html
Just cuz u have social anxiety doesn't mean you'll never have friends cuz I was like that and I still am what I did was find ppl similar to me that's how I struck a connection even the fact u have social anxiety can bring u close to sum1 else w social anxiety too
Bro you're a good looking guy, im 21 also.I have a lazy eye and people dont know which eye to look at it makes socializing really hard especially dating. Even though i look the way I do it didnt stop me from dating 3 of my crushes, and still dating, joining the debate team in high school, playing guitar in a band, and making close friends everywhere I go. You just gotta get out of your own head and into others. To me, as somebody with a social debilitation. You are pathetic. But I dont blame you. People like you are easy to step on in Academic and Professional settings. If you are not willing to step out and take control of your life, if you let your anxieties control your life than you deserve to feel as bad as you do. You dont socialise and then feel bad because you're not popular. Its tragic really.
Same! I hated it because everyone in the class knew each other, so when i would ask someone they would say " oh i already have one". And now your partner is the teacher
Nothing worse when you make one friend and they invite you to hang out with their group of friends and you have nothing to contribute to the conversation because you don’t know them at all but they all know each other and have inside jokes etc. then you just kinda sit there in silence... god this makes me feel so bad even thinking about it
Ughhhh....that's just why I say NO many times when being asked to go places with my friend's friends. No thank you, I'll sit this one out, enjoy! I'll be just fine lol.
I was once a 21 year old with no friends, severe anxiety and no light in sight. Today I’m 29 and doing much better with some great friends, a good job, a nice car, and a great family. Life gets better.
@@user78554 only a few friends now. Used to be alot back in the day. What changed? Because you'll see their true colors for who they really are. Been there, seen it.
lets all of us introverts say it together : WE DONT LIKE BEING ASKED "WHY WE'RE SO QUIET" that translates to us as why we're not contributing to the social standard
@Kyle If it honestly bothers you when someone is quiet and literally doing nothing to you, then you're the one with the issue. Let people be. Annoying us isn't gonna make us want to open up to you. When people ask me why I'm so quiet, I just respond "why are you so loud?"
i'm an infp find out what kind of introvert you are find out your strengths and internalize everything be comitted to and fall in love with your passions and research them in detail also sit with your emotions sometime to decrease their authority over you happiness comes from within the more you want the more you suffer find out what makes you laugh
@@knucklehoagies well with that response your not getting any closer to making friends. I feel like I’m moderate, I don’t talk much in class but I can contribute, when I’m with my boys I’m pretty social, At work I do old with my co workers. Both sides need to understand each other. They aren’t asking why your so quiet to annoy you, it’s so you could open up a little bit.
21 years old and exposing his struggles to the entire internet. He's incredibly brave Edit: I'm saying he's brave in the sense that he has social anxiety and yet he's still doing this despite that
21 is considered the same social range than 25 years old so he is not that young. He should change he is already old at 21 or 25 people are not young anymore. They think about marriage, kid, have a proper job or are already married with kids.
I’ve ghosted many people over the years because of anxiety of meeting/speaking to them having nothing to say , long silences , the anxiety of running out of things to say .. awful
Hey! Thank you for all of the nice comments and sorry that I haven’t been replying to them it’s just been kinda overwhelming getting all of these comments 😅 I was wondering if u guys wanted me to do an update video because there have been some positive changes in my life recently! I’ve also been thinking about doing some other videos on mental health stuff so if there’s anything in particular u want to hear me talk about let me know!
An update video sounds like a great idea! I was worried when watching this cause it ended on a dark note and I know how rough things have been for me lately. So it was great to see your comment from 9 hours ago. Don't stress about keeping up with demands just put out whatever you want and I'm sure people will listen. You are a coherent and self reflective story teller so if this helps you I say go for it.
You’re adorable. Things will change as they need to. Keep up the progress. Tell us your IG. Also yes update us on how you’ve been and what you’ve been up to?
@Christian Oliva: Public schools tend to try to force or coax introverts into attending social activities or group events, which in turn only drives them AWAY from future activities. Introverts do not like to be coaxed or pushed into situations, and most of them will hate social events even more later on...
@@endgamey Thats not the issue I have the same problem as him I just wouldn't talk to anyone and always felt out of place and when I was with ppl I always wanted to be alone.
Schools have always punished introverted behaviour, but they do it in subtle or indirect ways. Schools always have a desk fitted with two chairs, so sitting on my own would look “weird” and thus, I’d be considered an even greater outcast than I already am. Also quiet kids are usually easy to identify, and it sometimes feels like even the teachers participate in the alienation and isolation which leads to the suffering of such individual. This is exactly what I’ve had to deal with for such a long time. I’ve struggled with social anxiety which is further exacerbated by my speech difficulties, this effectively lead me to being extremely depressed and anxious and it’s taken a toll on me. Even though I have healed, part of me is gone. I was a kid, and I had no protection from my school institution (private catholic secondary school in Ireland), but I am forever grateful for my family, who love me and always, ALWAYS accepted me for who I am. If anybody reads all of this, and especially if they struggle in social situations, life gets better, don’t listen to anyone who tells you your school days are your best days, because they’re not. ~ Sam
im 19 and i have been celebrating my birthdays alone for the past 3 years ... having no friends to hangout with or bring u out to eat at food places. Or when one of ur family members asks why i dont go and meetup with my close friend and spend time outside and have fun. If only they understood ... thats basically my life now. Its been almost a month since i left my room and house for anything or any sort of interactions with people outside
I was like that , my youngest still is not one friend at 18 years old !! .. but I got out of it by getting used to people at work and gradually letting my guard down and relax and talking and going out socially, You have low self esteem and need to build yourself up, even a crappy little job or do some studying again so you just get to see the same people and see if you can start to relax and get talking,or an interest you enjoy and start joining where you don’t feel pressure to chat
im like this right now and i have no idea what to do. i want to go out and find a job but anxiety is to much. to just take that first step out of my "house" and into town seems like a leap of faith i need to take but i freeze every time i step onto the road.
Hey :) I used to have this mind set before of "fuck it the more social situations I do the better I'll be at them" The truth is that it isnt, and this isnt me saying there is no hope, it's me saying you need to do research first or therapy to learn about social anxiety and how to beat it. I've done a ton of therapy and learned most of the tricks which allow me to finally progress in beating social anxiety. I can now be like "fuck it the more social situations I do the better I'll be at them" but this time using my knowledge so I can progress and it wont back fire on me and instead go backwards. My tips are (and you should look these up on google) : Avoid safety behaviours and know why they are unhelpful. Look at facts and not feelings, and know why that's important. Get out of your own head and know why this reduces anxiety. Plan social experiments on paper where you can test your negative beliefs / practise to stop your safety behaviours. (These are good at seeing your progress) I hope all of this helps :) I could explain them all but I think your better off looking on google yourself. Plus it will take me an hour to type lol. Goodluck, I wish you the absolute best! You got this! And remember that it gets easier.
@@mrhollywood0384 your so right about f it moments. It doesn't work unless you are shy which is what people tend to confused social anxiety with. Social anxiety usually get worst over time because people tend to forget how to conversate from being alone too long so I like the advice you gave. It's so practical and I agree that nothing substitute good research and therapy.
I think everyone here wants to help each other, but unfortunately nobody knows how to do it. I feel like even psychiatrists struggle to solve this kind of mental illness
I can totally relate but the only difference is I have aspergers, since I was 4 or 5. I would always freeze up or be very awkward in public/school until like I was 17. Though i switched to a special school for autism in 2016 which I have graduated from a couple years ago. I also don't have any friends either, yes there's people online I talk to alot but in person it's just so hard to find people you can actually feel comfortable talking to and being in a small town it's really not the most interesting place in my opinion to find friends and with the pandemic going on the isolation is worse than it used to be.
Orion 😳 Did You ever try talking to people you communicate with online over the Telephone? give that a try and work your way to meeting them in person. 😳 You Can Do It!
28 soon. no real friends, trust issues, anxiety, depressions for over 10 years already, in general everything sucks honestly shit just not getting better. i'm a coward too so i'm pretty much fucked. others got out of shit around my age and i can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. pog
i don’t think you’re a coward. it’s hard to be open when things are hard. i get that it’s easier to compare your hardships to others advantages, but you’re not them you’re you, and you’re trying. you deserve happiness and grace- i pray that things get better for you, just because you deserve it
I feel like a lot of comments on here are about his looks. Being attractive doesn't mean you're guaranteed to have a lot of friends. People have told me my entire life that I'm handsome, but I have a completely nonexistent social life. I have no friends, despite the fact that I'm outgoing. It's not about your looks. Sometimes I feel like I have no friends because I don't want them and like doing stuff by myself. Other times I feel like a misfit.
That's completely true. Being told you are attractive is irrelevant; and if you have also have very low self-esteem this almost feels like a lie, anyway (at least in my case). I feel the same way about having no friends. I do like to do stuff on my own and actually reject people on those few occasions when I get asked to hang out but at the same time I feel like I'm doing this because I don't seem to fit anywhere and barely have anything in common with most people.
You described my entire life story !! For years I felt alone dealing with my social anxiety disorder.. ironically it does spell S.A.D because that’s the emotion it gives you after a while .
@laura it’s hard I know ! I’m 24 and it gets harder as you get older !! please seek for help therapy or anything of that sort . I now wish I could of got help at 14
I have “friends” but I feel like nobody really gives a shit about me or wants to hang out all that often; and this is with several of my high school “groups”. Just know man, the grass always seems greener on the other side.
i can kinda relate like ive met so many people and made so many friends that werent close. they would seem like really nice people but i could never get to know them enough and now i cant say a word to them without them acting like they dont know me
I’m 22 and ppl Ik joke that I “go missing” due to not hearing from me or meeting up with anybody for long periods of time. I’m very shy I’m not talkative I wear headphones w the cords on purpose so I won’t have altercations in public(works sometimes). It’s a drag for me to go out I don’t like big crowds or to many noises at once. I feel useless at the fact that I’m not doing shit w my life rn cause I fear a lot. And this pandemic with staying home all day just made it worse I don’t like going out at all now. My room is my everything:/
We got one thing in common. I'm guessing we're both Introverts, I'm also 22 but lately life has been very boring for me. I got no one to tell what's going through my mind
I’m the same way. I have social anxiety and agoraphobia. I don’t leave my house at all. When I do I get severe panic attacks. It sucks. I’ve been dealing with it for years.
Idk if this is going to help anyone but I'll leave it here On god, I was exactly like this but probably even more introverted than all of you combined. In my room all day, playing videogames, watching movies, working out alone and just living the most stress free life but.. it was boring and really depressing. I could never put my finger on why it felt like this. As humans, complacency sounds very good and gets addicting.. but it's ultimately the downfall of us. We stop improving, we don't do anything out of our comfort zone, we'd rather not be bothered by anything. Every single day.. try to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Go out for grocery shopping, make small talk with someone like asking the time or just anything that comes to mind. Your anxiety will disappear so much. Please guys, step out of that comfort zone and make yourself feel the uncomfort.. embrace it and you'll realise it's all in your head.
friendships are overrated.... in the sense that those people you see with their friends...usually really aren’t very close. And they generally move on from each other. The reality is that great friendships are a pretty rare gem in life. You may carry a couple with you from childhood...maybe make a lasting one in college, and as an adult make a new/true friend once in a decade! But even with those “real” friendships....people often grow apart, or they disappoint you and just aren’t there for you as you might want them to be. The moral....don’t put so much emphasis on making friends. Join groups, play basketball etc...and let those acquaintances be enough. And hopefully a special friendship will blossom along the way!
I was going to disagree with you on friendships being overrated... but I think you yourself just explained why you're wrong ! True friendships aren't overrated, they're just rare but all the more special for that. Sometimes, a true friend isn't someone you want, but someone you need. Those people are hard to come by. You just have to keep moving forward and keep and open heart, as you never know who they will be. But as open as you should keep your heart, you should also protect it, as you don’t know who will hurt it.
@@20000dino I don't think I said that TRUE/GREAT friendships are overrated. That's not what I meant. I meant to make a point to say that true(great) friendships are extremely rare. You might pick one up in elementary or high school, maybe one in college, and perhaps a couple in adult life. It is the other one's...that people so much of a desperate search to find (such as a so-called tribe) that are usually quite overrated...because the people don't care very much about each other even if they seems to...and just move on from each other..move on with their lives for the most part when the time comes. But I suppose they serve a purpose to not feel alone at the time, but just don't fool yourself into thinking they are actually very meaningful. I think that's what I said...so I don't think "I'm wrong" as you said..but either way thanks for the response.
m brights I agree. It’s over rated. Even people who have friends probably don’t have truly good friends who are really there for them. That’s hard to find.
making friend in adulthood is very risky cause you're a grown-up and you all know how to play games and manipulate things more easily than when you were children or teens. Be careful with who you want to socialize with. Don't trust anybody besides yourself.
I’m 21 also and once I graduated I realized all your old “ friends” were really just your Acquaintances Thanks for all the likes btw I just started a RU-vid fitness channel y’all should go subscribe if y’all want workout and bodybuilding tips 💪💯
You’re not alone. I’m 24 and struggle with pretty severe social anxiety. It started in high school and since then has just stuck. I feel lucky to have 2 close friends but I haven’t been able to make any new friends as an adult. It’s also very difficult for me to go out in public alone for example, the grocery store. It sucks☹️
I'm 24 with social anxiety as well. It also came with depression because I was mad at myself because of the way that I am. Society makes me feel like you can't be accepted because you have these illnesses
I had it pretty bad too to the point where i couldn't leave my house for 2 and a half yrs. Eventually, i just pushed myself to leave my house, and i would walk around my neighborhood at first. Then to places with crowds. It took my a good 6-8 months of consistently putting myself around people to feel at a somewhat normal level if comfortability. The inability to leave my house drove me close to literal insanity. I started feeling strange from the lack of stimulation. So i had to push myself. 4 yrs later and i can now walk anywhere with out being uncomfortable. So try the whole "exposure therapy" for going to the store. Unfortunately i still struggle interacting with people. Which is why I dont have friends, gf, job, or a life. I dont have the courage to start talking to people. Shit sucks.
Same. I thought college would be different in terms of making friends, but I’m in my senior year and it’s still the same. I thought it was other ppl that were the problem but it’s literally all in my head, it’s my anxiety keeping me from making friends. It’s exhaustingggggggg
The greatest thing you can do to overcome it is literally put yourself in more social situations, with practice you will feel more comfortable and can even use techniques to get better, I have felt that way too and it sucks but if its all in your head thats great because thats where the answer lies as well in your head. Hope things get better and remember the best way to get friends is to be a friend.
My tips for anyone struggling with social anxiety, as someone who has it and has gotten therapy for it. Try avoiding safety behaviours - These are actions you do that try to hide a fear of yours. For example if you struggle and fear with blushing, do not block your face. Look around and see how many people actually are staring at you and get out of your own head. 9 times out of 10 your fear isnt realistic and once you get good at stop doing safety behaviours your anxiety will go down. That's because you start to realise it isnt actually a big deal! If you always block your face using your safety behaviours you'll never actually find out that it's not a big deal in the first place. This applies to almost all safety behaviours, heres some common safety behaviours: looking at the floor, censoring yourself and not saying what's on your mind, blocking your face, putting your hands in your pockets and more you can google :). Look at facts not feelings - Feelings such as "oh god everyone thinks I'm weird" are not true. I used to believe this for a long time but once you make a list, stating facts and not feelings, you'll see that nobody will see you are weird. For example I made a list AVOIDING feelings and only looking at facts on why I believe I'm weird and why other people believe that, most of my list was: they didnt look at me weird, that conversation went okay in the end, they smiled at me, etc. People with social anxiety normal add their feelings to their beliefs and not actually facts and proof with is insanely unhelpful. I watched another social anxiety video like this and the guy claimed others can see his anxiety. He claims he knows this because he can "feel" it. If he looked at facts such as, Does anyone treat me differently? Does anyone look at me weird? Are people who are nice regular people treat me weird? He would of noticed that most people dont. Focus externally not internally - This is a basic one but super useful. When out in public try getting out of your own head, and focus externally, such as on colours that you see, sounds or shadows or anything that forces you to get out of your own head. If your stuck in your own head this is where you start looking at feelings again and not actually facts, which makes your anxiety worse. Alot of people with social anxiety believes everyone looks at them for being weird, well heres something you can try: when out in public try focusing on looking at people and seeing if they are actually staring at you, looking at you funny or laughing at you. Trust me, you'll notice than NOBODY does unless just a quick basic glance to see someone is there. Everyone is focused on themselves. Practice using experiments - Write these down, experiment not using safety behaviours. Note down what you think will happen, then note down what actually happens (remember to look at facts!) And note down your learning. What I mentioned above about trying to get out of your own head and trying to focus on how people are looking at you, that can be a very helpful experiment to start off with. Heres an example to help you out: Experiment: get out my own head and see how many people are looking at me. Prediction: I believe most people will stare at me funny for looking weird. Then go out and do the experiment, it can be hard at first but it does become easier and easier. Then write down the outcome and your learning. More examples: Outcome: nobody looked at me funny, couple people gave me a glance but their facial expression were neutral. Learning: getting out my own head reduce my anxiety as it shows my fears are not realistic, since nobody looked at me funny. I hope this helps someone :). Please google anything I said for more of a better idea.
THIS IS SO HELPFUL TBH THE BLUSHING ONE I NEED THAT I CANT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH PEOPLE MY EYES WATER AND I DONT WANT THEM TK GET ME WRONG SO I AM SO SCARED TO WIPE THE TEARS SOMETIMES LATELY I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON CONTROLLING MY EMOTIONS WHICH IS HARD FOR ME BUT THANKS FOR THE TIPS💜
I had this growing up. I forced myself out of my comfort zone. Phone calls were scripted, I would write them out so I didn't make a mistake. I had a list of my own. My list was: does this person pay my bills? Do they feed me? Etc. If the answer was no I would tell myself then why do you care about what they think of you? How would me not caring what they thought could effect my life? Doing that back in the 90's helped alot. You have a wonderful helpful list here. Thank you. I can pass it on. I think alot of us are empaths?I felt I could feel what people thought about me? I could finally ask my friends. I was so quiet the first impression people told me they thought I was a stuck up bit@$. Then they got to know me and like me alot. I stayed quiet in fear I would offend someone or sound stupid... I'm fine now, I don't care what others think, I learned to love myself again.
But people do treat you differently when you're visibly anxious... People avoid me and don't want to talk to me. Maybe it's just me tho, because I'm ugly and a guy.
I have faced the same situations as you, I am 21 years old and I am completely alone. I have no friends or even acquaintances. Now I spend my days between TV series, music, video games and RU-vid. Sometimes I have tried to go out alone, but it only makes the situation worse. Seeing everyone else with a group of friends or a girlfriend and you competently alone causes me a feeling of sadness and emptiness. So I stay at home among my passions. And in order not to miss anything, I am Italian and here people have a mostly extrovert character. I feel very uncomfortable, I don't know what the situation is like in the United States, but Italy is the worst place for an introvert. I honestly don't know how to get out of it .... I hope that at least you can find the right way to get your life back in hand. Courage!
Fra guarda il lato positivo...sai parlare inglese in maniera perfetta. Non molti italiani possono dire la stessa cosa! (So che nn c'entra nulla con gli amici) Forza e coraggio :)
You should reconsider your phrase, look at how cheery all brazilians are, THIS is the worst place for us, maybe India too due to their dense population.
I’m autistic and this really hits close to home. Society has this expectation that you have to have friends to succeed but that’s just not true. If anyone doesn’t have friends don’t worry. Thanks for sharing
Same challenge. It's affecting my career, my potential, relationships, especially with the opposite sex. Talking to people, just trying to become a teacher, I'm just so fed up with this challenge. It's like, why me???
I recently learned my social anxiety comes from my parents constantly judging me and fear of being screamed on for doing something wrong. Now I overthink everything I do in public whether it be a sneeze, neck crack or even looking up from my phone because I’m scared I’ll be talked about negatively by anyone around.
@@thepopupbot6013 Well it good that you might've found the root of it! They'll definitely help treat it. I personally think I was just born with it because I think I've been this way since I can remember. My twin sister used to be more like that, always stiff in social situations because she felt like everyone was looking at her. She'd get so stiff that she couldn't move her neck.
Same I know how you feel I find it hard to really connect with I was a really going person in middle school and high school until my mom put me in homeschool haven’t had a friend since
during graduation who else got extremely nervous and anxious when you knew u were up next to be called for diploma and u knew no one was going to cheer when ur name was called and ur family would see that u had no friends.
@LetsGoRodriguez0 insult to injury there 😂 it’s all good though high school was just a small fraction of our lives and moving forward everything has gotten better for me and hopefully for you as well.
I know exactly how you feel! I'm 35 years old and I have two Disabilities Autism and Epilepsy and I get the worst Seizures a person can get Grand Mal! I suffer from severe chronic Anxiety and Depression because of my Disabilities and growing up from Kindergarten through 12th Grade. My life was a living Hell! I had no friends and I was constantly Bullied, harassed, made fun of, belittled, spit on, verbally, and physically abused, I received Death threats you name it. All through out my school years. Not even the quote on quote loser kids wanted to be friends with me! I'm all grown up now and I still don't fit in at all anywhere! I can't make friends to save my life! I can't even make friends with people I have things in common with! I never had a boyfriend, been on a date, been hugged or kissed by a man who wasn't a family member and I never had Sex. The only friends I have are my Parents, my Sister, her Husband, her two kids, and one friend of my Sister's and that's it! People especially men don't accept me because of my Disabilities. I've attempted Suicide many times in my life! I can't even work or drive because of my Disabilities and I can't get Disability money for them either! I don't want to exist but I realized I don't want to Die either! Life is beyond hard for me! So you're not alone!
@@gloryglory7164 What you have Autism no way! Well if you ever need someone to talk to who knows what you’re going through. Then I’m here for you! Feel free to contact me anytime.
Thank you so much to everyone who Liked my Comment! That truly means more than the world to me! Oh and if Alex Smith wants a friend I’m here for you Buddy! Disabilities, attempting Suicide, Suicide, Mental Health, Anxiety, and Depression are serious and not to be taken lightly! We all need to support one another and be here for each other! So Alex Smith and anyone else who needs a friend or someone to talk to! Feel free to contact me anytime! I also really love your Channel Alex! Keep making Videos!
Well as a person withhigh functioning Autism, I have almost the same struggle as you. But being bullied for my experiences is different. Because they just teasing and threating me when I'm in primary school until I'm a teen, I have struggle with social anxiety right now. But Also my parents, anyone who judge me will ruin my lives. This is sadly the society we live in. At least my mother agree. I don't wanna be worthless and hopeless being too normal and Average instead of being special. But everyone is different you can't except them to be the same. Conclusion, Autism,mental disabilities and health issues should get more supportive and respectful. Imagine thinking this without exist. How the world would've get worse. I might do TL:DR if anyone struggle reading this. I might edited if you respond.
I don’t know how to describe myself, i don’t know if the way I grew up made me this way because I had my ups and downs during my childhood I’m not saying my childhood was bad it was great but you can’t always expect perfection in your life. I was the last one born out of my 2 brothers and 1 sister so I am the 4th child out of my mother and i am saying this because we are not fully blood blood my 2 brothers have the same dad and my sister and I have a different dad lol. The thing is my older siblings grew up together including my sister so they bonded really well and I was last so I didn’t as much, I think who really payed more attention to me was my sister and mom, sometimes dad he would be busy being in one place and another, so I didn’t really have my parents together around me as much I could be with mom in this moment and then with dad, sometimes we would all be together how i wished it stayed but didn’t they were together for a while then I don’t know what happened. My mom would then become and alcoholic there were times where she would yell at me in a scary tone actually my brothers say I was like the spoiled kid because I had more toys then them and I was born here in the U.S and they weren’t they were all born in Mexico so in a way i agree but I wasn’t spoiled spoiled because my mom would also help them a lot even tho they could have earned themselves, Anyway I hated seeing my mother drunk and hopeless in not gonna go into full detail of my story but she would move with me constantly so wherever I was making friends at my school I basically lost em and I never really had like a role model figure besides my sister, but since people grow up they move on their lives so my mom takes me now I didn’t bond as much with my sister so I grew up with pretty much myself I just wanted to all of us be together as a family but in a way we didn’t or I didn’t I don’t know if things like this contribute to ones mental health I’ve started to question if I myself have issues I feel like I do but then I like I don’t I don’t know one thing I can actually remember as a kid is that I would repeat words until I felt like I said it right in the right tone if that makes sense as I grew up in my teens I had this tought that if I don’t do some things right or said something right something bad would happen to mom even tho is not true. now I’m 19 years old I did some research to se if I could find a reason for this behavior of mine and came to realize either I have ocd or autism maybe I’m exaggerating, maybe I have ocd with lack of social skills idk what to do never had a girlfriend tho I had chances with plenty of girls I did hookup one time but I never really took it further into a relationship because I feel like I can’t bond or just don’t know how to sometimes I feel like a robot but sometimes I feel like I could be more I just don’t know How to do I have to figure this on my own or should I ask for help. I have a couple of friends but I want to change that I want to help others like me you know, sorry if my grammar ain’t then best but I’m just writing in my best way possible people have potential sometimes we don’t see it ourselves shit I feel like I’m saying to much Lol anyway don’t give up also don’t do drugs when you have anxiety it could worsen it
Bro, I wouldn't worry about having friends. They come and go, I've lost some along the way. Just focus on your self and the right ones will make their way to you. Just have a very small group, a lot people are snakes.
by nature, i'm actually very talkative and "outgoing" as you might say but when it comes to actually doing that in front of people, all that confidence just evaporates and suddenly im the quiet kid in the back
i'm an infp find out what kind of introvert you are find out your strengths and internalize everything be comitted to and fall in love with your passions and research them in detail also sit with your emotions sometime to decrease their authority over you happiness comes from within the more you want the more you suffer find out what makes you laugh
You end up questioning your own sanity; You have a hunch that your new friends aren’t very good friends yet you start thinking it’s your anxiety spiraling into paranoia. Until they reveal their true selves.
Back in High School I was a shy girl and was soo afraid to speak out because I was scared if other students or teachers would judge me if I said something stupid.. I was bullied by my siblings alot they would call me names, and things like stupid and dumb and that everybody would call me that, so I would just stay quiet and stay in my little comfort zone watching anime everyday and play games after school.. I would shut out my siblings and everyone. And by doing that it made me have depression, stress, lonely, insecure, and emotional. I do have friends at school but there are times I felt like I dont fit in... But I do have a friend who goes through the same thing I did so I would mostly hang out with him through out the school year. Now in 2021 I don't care I just be myself and talk whatever I like if people judge me they can cause were all humans in the end and people are going to judge anyways. Sometimes I still feel insecure and have depression, but I tried to be happy and live my daily life trying to survive the real adulthood world. 🙂
I don't know you, but I just want to say how proud I am of you for developing such a strong mindset despite your struggles. You are amazing and deserve to be happy after everything you've been through. Keep going! :)
especially when your mean sibling don't actually talk about real shit lol i get it. they just be saying stuff like "you're just talking to talk" and my older brother would do that to me growing up and it was a reflection of himself. now he always "talks just to talk" he be talking to my dad about "chicken slapping videos". and i think to myself, no wonder i never talk anymore! they are bullies who got nothing important to say. they just talk to hear their damn voice. they were always jealous of me i swear. i can actually relate to people on a deeper level. he would then always tell me stuff like "no one cares about the movies you want to talk about, we've never seen it" and now guess what?? he's talking about the same shit and my father cares what he has to say. because he's his son and he's the most spoiled child. he's fat, i'm skinny, he's mean and i'm nice. what does that tell you? i've got a case of second child syndrom. but at this point i hate my parents and i've chosen to be selfish with them. they deserve to give me shit. all their fucking shit for treating me like god damn cinderella. so yeah. the kids can get revenge.
Idk why I cried watching this video, I thought I was the only one that experience this. Im only 16 but it feels like I was always a failure and I feel miserable because like what you have said, the pain of not having someone to talk to, to hangout with, to share your true personality with. It hitted me so deep because I can relate so much. Even though I want to talk and put myself out there, it's not that easy because of my social anxiety. I always fear about people abandoning and leaving me and that's why Im having a hard time to trust and connect with people. Your story comforted me like I feel like I wasn't alone and it kinda gaves me inspiration. Just because I have social anxiety it doesn't mean that I'm miserable or failure and I shouldn't give up.
I'm 21 still have my v card. Still live at home & work at a crummy job. I had anxiety & worried so much around my peers but after growing up & working hard I started loving my life ❤ more when I earn it. I hope you realize that at the end of the day we're just men living our own life & we also shouldn't waste our time worrying or anxiety. Work hard like a dog pay your own bills & needs & you'll be more happy & appreciate life more.
It seems as though your level of self-awareness is relatively high so that can only help you in the end. I had social anxiety all throughout grade school as well, though I was able to make some deep relationships with a few people. Honestly what helped me overcome it was serving/bartending. I started waiting tables at 17 and it forced me to have to approach strangers and talk to them to make money. At first I was AWFUL because I was so scared but over time, I came out of my shell. Then when I started bartending, my social skills soared. I'm still a relatively laid back person and I tend to be introverted but serving definitely helped me deal with that debilitating fear of speaking to people.
It really is the saddest thing impairments on making bonds. I felt so isolated and growing up I felt I didn’t fit in. And later it became more distressing I was diagnosed with social anxiety by age sixteen. My brain freezed during conversations, I would be in fight or flight and for a few years I struggled making eye contact. It’s inspiring you made this. I’m really happy people are destigmatizing mental illness. Hearing your story and others I cannot thank you enough! I wish more spoke out about other mental health disorders. Proud of you for working your way up and forming good bonds. :) I also had intense social anxiety if it wasn’t for meds I’d still be unable to socially function.
I’m 22 and I avoid most social interactions outside of my family.... The anxiety just hits me way to hard and I get into a state of panic and just want to get out of a conservation as soon as possible.
Im 22 and I relate to this so much, I think we can really be our own worst enemies with overthinking. Sometimes I put myself on mute due to getting over talked, or people not listening to me. So I just do that still at times to avoid feeling invalidated. I’m working on it though!(:
very relatable. this video is fitting to be recommended to me now cause i am 22, and going through an "i miss high school" phase and thinking about the missed friendships and even possible hookups i could've had had i been more social lol. but social anxiety be like that
Bro this is so relatable. So relatable. You're not alone. It's that fear of rejection that holds us back, and it's something we've had since we were kids. But it's just the lie your brain keeps telling you, that you're not good enough, that no one will like you, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You end up pushing people away because you care too much about what they think of you
I really connected to what you said in the video. I am a bit older than you but I went through something very similar in middle and high school. Luckily I had a few close friends outside of school that I was able to hang out with, and still hang out with to this day. There were also experiences I had along the way that really pushed me out of my comfort zone like moving into the dorms freshman year at a large university. I still have some social anxiety to this day but am content with having a few close friends and living a more 'chill' life. Another thing I connected with was the ability to express yourself better via social media (specifically video for me), but having a completely different personality in-person. Maybe continue putting out videos like this if that is what you are interested in?
Sad story:I had an uncle who never got married because he had social anxiety and never had kids etc he just passed away like two months ago it’s sad cuz the same could happen to me due to my social anxiety 😢🙏🏽
@@alxandro5504 exactly, same with me I have a girlfriend and we both don't want kids and probably we won't marry either because we don't wanna spend our money to something useless when we can go travel together on our own.
I’m not actually too shy but I always seem to end up ghosting people out of self consciousness which leads me to never have any friends. I’m about to graduate high school and I’m scared I’ll end up living life completely alone :(
I don’t have social anxiety at all and have zero friends. However I get along well with people, . But it’s just I can’t stand people once I get to know them. I prefer this and there’s nothing wrong with it.
I hate when people ask why I don't talk or smile; I do, I just don't in front of them. I also relate to moving to a different environment and developing social anxiety from that change. I'm still struggling with opening up to other people and I always put up a wall to distance myself in fear of getting disliked. I do have friends but I feel I'm not really close with them and they have their own group of best friends that I'm not a part of. Thank you for this video. Even just having someone talk about the same things I'm dealing with is somewhat comforting.
Trying to find validation from other people is bullshit, trust me, is 1 thousand times better to be hated for who you are, than to be completly ignored by everyone, if u have anxiety, try to be yourself and do the opposite your anxiety tells you to do, but you need to do this accepting that you will be judged, not one single person is loved by everyone, sometimes people are just incopatible. I have social anxiety myself, sometimes i was shaking when talking with people, almost wanting to vomit, i know its difficult, but if u don't do nothing about it, it will only get worse. Also think that after 10 years or something, you will probably forget abour most of the people that you saw in school, so its all bullshit in the end, it doesn't matter, its better if u try something, even if u have a panic attack in public and go to the hospital, it will be worth it in the end IF u never stop trying.
Also you have to do things even without confidence, the anxiety will not suddenly disappear, u have to decide to keep trying whatever happens, it takes about 1 year to get better if u don't stop trying, if u fail start trying again, if u give up midway you will get 2 times worse.
You don't need friends. You need to find inner peace within and find yourself. I learned at a very young age. I only have one and I was and still am known as quiet girl and idc because I enjoy my own company💖
Ma'am I'm sorry but everyone needs friends bc you can't deal with hardships all by yourself I'm saying this as someone who had no friends for like 6 years, that shit sucks big time
@@rooftopfight6210 partially agree with you. Yes everyone should have maybe one person they can come to for help and advice though it could be a relative or your parents. But with social anxiety it’s hard to find genuine friends you can trust let alone friends in general and you can’t really rely on other people since they have their own things to deal with. In the end if you need to learn love yourself and be independent. My personal opinion though
I’m impressed by your optimism still about making friends. I also have social anxiety and no friends but I have grown to just resent people. I’m at the point where even the sight of someone makes me feel frustrated and angry but at the same time I believe that all I need is a friend or a relationship to feel happy. I pretend I like being alone but every time I hear about my brother’s girlfriend I just feel my blood boiling and leave the room.
I feel you I was diagnosed with autism at 3 and since then my life has been a spiral of fluctuating emotions... having an abusive dad I didn't escape from until I was 10, having social and physical anxiety/stress and always being afraid to talk to my peers (especially after my dad made me a helpless timid person) And bullies always targeting me for being a loner/silent person. And those who didn't bully me never approached me to start a conversation and it was like I was invisible. And those who did always treated me like I couldn't take care of myself. I've only had one friend I met in 2nd grade and bonded with until 6th grade. *His name was Hank Keaton.* We loved playing video games and would always give me tips on games we've both played as we didn't have internet at the time. But then, he moved away suddenly and it crushed me... I miss him so much 😭 I'm 17 now and i'm homeschooled and it's a much better experience. Thankfully, all my life i've been in physical/psychological therapy and it's made me a normal person (with heavy and crippling side effects I mentioned earlier)
I feel debilitated with the level of anxiety I get. The “why don’t you talk” is that worst and most put on the spot thing on the planet! It felt so nice and relieving to see this video. It grounded me a lot to see someone else gets it.
Hey man, you're not alone. If you're reading this, when you grow up you will be able to take care of yourself, you will not need friends the way you might do now. You might be looking for someone to talk to, maybe you can get the help you need that way. Just gotta keep searching man. Stay strong.
Not early 20's all the 20's are difficult it has even been proven scientically that you are an adult mentally and biologically at 30 years old. 20's are just brain development.
I really enjoyed listening about your story since we basically have a similar one AND I was so happy to hear that you’re also an ENFP as well. As an ENFP myself with social anxiety I so related to this video a whole more. I hope things are going much better for you now :) you seem like a pretty cool dude, I wish you all the best in the world. God bless you and may you find what the human soul really desires ♡
Hi xx My name is Chanel. I am 23 from SA, and I understand everything you say. Its refreshing to hear, that someone else is saying everything you feel. And it’s exhausting. Im lonely within myself, and its become a life long struggle. I wish you so much joy and strength for the following years to come, you seem to be a light at the end a of a tunnel x Love yourself and take care dollface, Hope i can do the same somedays
Same here man. I was actually like that since birth. I had a developmental disorder that actually messed with my speech motor skills and I couldn’t really talk at all. I had no friends in Elementary school. It was to a point I had to literally sign as a kid until I got speech therapy. Sometimes it’s not all social media. People have to consider those with developmental disorders. I’m grateful I got help at a young age with this.
Hey Alex . My name is Abdi, I'm 21 years old same as you and my social anxiety is way worse than you. I have no friends zero at all because deep down my heart I love everyone but whenever I want to talk to someone my social anxiety symptoms would kick in Fast heartbeat,Trouble catching my breath Trembling, Sweating around my face, chest , armipts and I would feel embarrased so I always avoid meeting or talking to people. I have a Feeling that my mind has gone blank but your video encouraged me and you are brave but I am a coward because I don't tell anybody my problems only my family knows my issues concering social anxiety
Relatable, I had one friend and we didnt have lunch together ever. I ate in the bathroom for 3 years somehow with no one noticing since I was invisible anyway
Sometimes you feel like your head is in a box that you can’t look out of because someone might think you are looking at them. You know it’s not real but that doesn’t matter. Your mind is the worst prison you can be in...
You’re a beautiful, well-spoken young man, and you are not alone. Having the courage to talk about this is probably one of the hardest steps to take on your road to happiness. Trust that and think about the Good in your life. Be grateful and don’t lose hope. I feel it’s also really helpful to be outside in nature as much as possible. Keep smiling!
im glad things are starting to work out for you. my life story is kind of similar to yours. as a kid, i never had social anxiety but as I got older, my anxiety shot up. it was worse in high school. lunch period was horrifying to me. I will constantly tremble, sweat, and worry about what is going to happen at lunch. who am i going to sit with? there was this time where I sat alone for lunch. it was miserable. i had so many thoughts overflowing in my head. I thought people were making fun of me, i felt like I was at the wrong place, i just wanted to break bondage of my anxiety but I couldn't. To make matter worse, my senior year of hs was hell 2. I hated eating school lunch because it was nasty asf. so there was these group of kids who thought I was poor or something. they threw food at me and laughed. one kid offered me money because he thought I was poor. My anxiety levels were at a all time high. luckily enough for me, covid ended my senior high school year early. Now im in college and things are starting to look better. I have met some people but have not made really close friends, like the others who have seem to find their group really fast. but as the years progresses,Im starting to learn that life is short. anxiety or not, it is not going to stop from doing the things I want. i dont give af about what any thinks of me, because Im fuvkin awsome and so are you!! yes you reading this! now go and show the world how amazing you are :)
My son is about your age, he told his mother that he felt the same as you, I will take this on board when I talk to him next. We don’t see each other much, but this is good information for me to understand we’re he is at. Thank you.
Dude I’m so glad you made this video. Usually when people tell me “oh there’s people out there who have social anxiety just like you” I don’t believe them because I think my situation is way worse. But the way you felt and the things you went through SOUND EXACTLY LIKE MINE. Thanks for giving me the motivation to go out and be myself!
Loneliness is the most rubbish feeling ever and I wish people understood. Imagine walking out of class and seeing people sitting in groups laughing, smiling. You don't have the confidence to go up and join people cus they already have established freinds and they already think your quiet and weird and dont want to talk to you. You have to sit there by yourself feeling like everybody is watching you listening to everybody else enjoying themselves. It's just horrible, I can't think of a feeling much worse and it's so hard to know until you are that person. My heart really goes out to you, I hope everything gets better cus u deserve it.
I wish we could come up with somekind of free convention in each country so introverts and people struggling with anxiety could all meet up and talk to each other.
I'm not gonna lie i don't have it bad, but i feel you. As we get older, we tend to have less friends. Thats why i always make sure when im in a group, to somehow involve the quiet kid without overwhelming them cause i know how it feels to be there but not really comfortable. Cheers to you bro, hope you're doing good though.
Wow, man. I related to your high school experience a lot. Being the ignored mystery kid. Getting really bad grades and getting progressively better. Finding a community through joining a new sport senior year. That social anxiety is such a stifling feeling. Also relate to the experience of having things culminating with going abroad be dashed by Covid. I’ll watch the update video now. God bless.
I had little friends, was in depression but Jesus found me and delivered me from all plus gave me friends and He is the best friend of them all, there is hope in Jesus Christ, God bless.
Bro, I feel you, sometimes I feel like I am invisible, but it's usually a feeling, but I've learned to enjoy myself, do exiting things and you'll meet like minded people, but do it for yourself because you deserve it
Hi! I'm also 21, turning 22 soon. I also used to have social anxiety and I can definitely relate with a lot of the stuff you said about your past. I feel like I've come a long way though, and watching this video really brought it all back to me and made me realize how I used to be. Idk i guess i just wanna say, for anyone who has social anxiety that reads this, that you CAN make progress to get rid of social anxiety. I remember feeling that it was the single biggest problem in my life and i just kept trying and trying. I embarrassed myself in front of strangers quite a few times to try to grow. I think the fact that they were strangers sort of helped me get over the embarrassment the next day. I STILL am not as sociable as I want to be, but now I work at Starbucks, something i would have never thought I'd be doing back in middle school.
No life doesn’t have to just be like this. If you are still doing similar to the OP at the age of 32 you should get help. I’ve struggled a lot and come a long way and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if you choose to live the same dull life and not get help then you still shouldn’t go out telling others there’s no hope when there is and life can be very different.
I’ve faced with the same mental problems, so I can completely understand all of the situation that you’ve come through. I want to say that man, you are such a brave person that you can speak about it out loud while I dont have even a single opportunity to express of shit that makes my life so miserable and hopeless
Social media is a blessing and and a curse! It can create so many social problems and help with them at the same time. People don’t communicate in person anymore or even talk to each other! Everything is done via text or online. It’s no surprise that social anxiety is so prevalent in this younger generation! Not to say it doesn’t effect many other people but it seems to have increased by epic proportion in the last 10 years!
Did you know that social anxiety is curable? Its not that difficult to get over. Get a counselor and work through it. Anxiety of this sort is fear based. Phobias can be cured. I have some of this too and am almost through it. I have learned to ignore the haters and still be outgoing and be confident. Some ppl that dont talk are actually intellectually advanced. Its quite smart to only talk when absolutely necessary. In high school i wasnt popular and of course the jocks were butt holes, so every lunch hour id sit at a different table. I sat with the jocks, then the cheer leaders, then the stoners, then at my brothers table and id sit with the slow kids. I did what i wanted and didnt care what ppl said to me. It didnt matter. Still doesnt.
