That's the thing with Social Media as well. FB, Instagram, Twitter etc.... Everyone is so happy and posts about the fantastic achievements and how happy and successful they are and everything is perfect. However, that is so far from the truth and real life that you might as well open up a fairytale book, because its the same thing.
I’m turning 50 this year. I also have no friends, and I’ve distanced myself from my family. I have cptsd from childhood which makes me feel uncomfortable/fear around people. People say join a club/group to meet people but that’s hard since I feel awkward and anxious. So here I am lying in bed awake at 2.21 am watching this video. Knowing I’m not the only one like this is comforting. Best of luck to everyone in this situation ❤️
I feel you, Steve I'm 18 and I never had any friends in my life people who I considered my "Friends" betrayed me every time except one but now he moved to another town, I feel really lonely and depressed.
Now I've been 3 years with no friends and my family is kind of negligent with a 14 year old boy, so I don't feel comfortable with them either when I'm " socializing" I feel it is just like the weird part of the day you know.
I was recently diagnosed with autism & adhd with CPTSD ( yeah alot I know lol ) and the only thing I’ve ever felt was that I’m an alien. I WANT people. I WANT the engagement. But what do I have? What’s left for me? I don’t even know… being diagnosed with Autism has been my life changing moment. It’s doesn’t fix everything, not the pain, not the abandonment but sometimes it helps me realize what I’m going through. I’m stuck. But I’m trying…
That’s a lot to find out and process for sure. I definitely get about feeling like an alien haha. I thought I was a freak with all those negative feelings, finding out what it was, was a huge relief. A normal response to an abnormal childhood. Good luck on your healing journey
I can relate. I'm 33 and about to turn 34. I'm still living with my parents, unmarried, no kids, and haven't had any friends for years. I didn't go to college and have been stuck in the same dead end job for the last 15 years, which is also about to come to an end now that the company is closing. I feel like my life is static and I haven't achieved any personal growth or development and life is just passing me by.
Go join a sport or social group, make friends and maybe even find a woman or man, there’s plenty of resources and opportunities out there you just need to make the effort or push to get these things.
Same here, i'm 27 and been stuck on same job for 3 years, i go to college, met many people but somehow still stuck in the same condition, no friend, anxious to attend college, low paid and boring job I'm just afraid my youth is passing before i even enjoy it...
No parents, no family(taken by CPS at 10 due to the most horrendous abuse the cops have ever seen in that area) None of the other family cared for me so they never even tried. Friendless, no family and living in a studio appartment by myself with 2 minimum wage jobs. Never have achieved anything sure tried, but failed at every turn.
At 56 years old I finally realized I’m alone in this world, have spent my entire life surrounded by abusive narcs. Finally decided to cut ties with toxic people. It’s definitely quiet but the peace it brings is unspeakable
@@DUMPSTERDIVINGADELAIDE I saw! So much strange stuff in The trash😂Have you made content facing the camera and just having a chat? Maybe people would Get to know you more? I know you have experiences I dont have, We all live so different lives, and hearing your viewpoint would be really interesting. Have a great day. Its night time here now.
@@karenthue8978 - only live chat with my channel but you don't actually make friends, just RU-vid friends, like Facebook friends, not actual physical friends, just seems to be some people have family and friends & some don't, I can't fathom it, Have a nice weekend... All these people are in other countries
Sigh, nothing more empty then calling someone brave online...it's like saying I pray for you...that's the bare minimum you could do. It's just empty words
@infiniteshoeblack in a way you and @itApproaches are right. This guy should help himself and seek for help from somewhere else too. Like learning how to meditate and/or meeting a psychotherapist and all that. But the positive side in these kind of posts, is that our knowledge grows. We learn more about depression. Maybe this guy has learned a bunch by these comments and maybe he feels better because of all the attention he gets. Yeah.. this is not a perfect world and we people arent always right and doing the right things. Its so easy to hate and pick on peoples flaws in these comment sections.
I’m 67, alone, depressed and anxious, no friends, little family. I, too, used to have many friends. I just adopted 2 kittens for company but I’m glad to know I’m not alone in my misery.
Well said I asked myself in a world full of millions around us how in the world can we be so alone and stuck in a groundhog day but it's so real reality you said it perfectly
There are a lot of reasons for this, no one single cause. But to make it short, inventions within the realm of communication are largely the reason for this phenomenon, as well as the constant cultural shifts that have happened over the last 150 or so years. You could write an entire novel about the various reasons for the decline in social stability within the average man and womans lives, and why loneliness is at an all time high despite humanity having a larger population than ever before in our history. It's hard to sum it all up concisely in a single youtube comment.
Loneliness is being forced upon people in my opinion. For years the media have been glorifying life outside of the family unit and love. Glorifying hookup culture, violence, guns, money anything that can turn our minds against the idea that we're SUPPOSED to LOVE. Like out natural urge as humans is to LOVE. But somehow this agenda of keeping people separate and isolate seems to be seeping through every crack in society to the point where its unstoppable. This is the last stage of divide and conquer. Those with empathy and that natural urge to love will be the ones depressed. Those lacking will be the ones that follow.
It’s scary how accurate the yt algo is like how do they know that every single thing this man says mirrors my very existence. It’s not like I’m even looking that stuff up. I hope you’re doing better now brother and I’m sure by now from all the comments you know you’re not alone in your struggle. You deserve happiness.
I'm an electrical engineer too (BSEE & MSEE), I live in Silicon Valley, I bought a home here. I actually came from a very poor background. My family was extremely dysfunctional. I have no family today. No family, no friends, and no love. I'm invisible. Christmas pretty much sucks balls to be this alone. I've lost interest in most things - and have spent the last of my saved money. If I were to disappear only the bill collectors and employer would notice.
@@linchpin5481 Do you have any sheet music for what you're playing on your RU-vid channel? I've got Logic Pro X and can mix/master. I've got Final Cut Pro X for video editing too. Works pretty well.
Mentally I used to be 12 yo aged 30 (in 2001). I learned a lot since 05/2020 from a Udemy course "12 in 1 sales and influence mastery". Wish I could have learned this 30 years ago when I was 21.
2 года назад
@@deeppurple883 My daughters each have three nationalities/passports (South African, Russian, United Kingdom 🇬🇧). Myself dual citizenship South African & UK. But yes I feel like Ive just learned what most people already experienced when they where 18, so yes basically two birth certificates 🤣
Maybe you are searching for something that you cant chase physically. I would advice you to read the Quran. And give it am honest try bcs you owe that to yourself.
@P Jeffery no way! I was an expat meaning I worked for a USA company paid In Usd but lived in Asia best way to go I made ten times the local wages.. you won’t be able to live on local pay unless you are very high up. You can do online work as a consultant or other jobs like programming
@williamkiely9523 : I’m nearly 69 and never had the self-destructive behaviour you speak of and I’m alone but I’ve done OK for myself. You are correct tho, that self-destructive behaviour does drive people away. The problem as i see it is once you’ve done that those people will convince themselves that you will never change and distance themselves from you fearing you will become a burden to them .Unlike the previous comment made I don’t think praying will help you. There is only one thing that can help you and that is YOU !! You have to make change happen. I hope you’re up to it . Good luck 👍
But people do change. And that's where prayer and following Jesus Christ come in. We have to forgive others so that we can be forgiven. Hope you understand that with Him we have everlasting life. Lean on in Him in all things.@@Kingcarparpeggio
I can relate, thank you for sharing. I haven't even travelled a lot. Losing my job as we speak. Always worked parttime because of my anxiety and depression, never had a lot of money. 51 and single. No kids. Hang in there everyone!
I got divorced at 36. I was living in a bed sit. Now at 43 I’m married, own a home, just got a great new job, my wife’s pregnant and I’m happy. Not to gloat, my point is have hope. There’s still lots to live for!
Here's the thing I was devoted to my man 26 years and he got tired of me. If devotion can't keep a man happy then I've got nothing to offer another person.
As strange as it seems, here is the way women view you. If you haven't been married and divorced by your mid 30's, women view you as the devil. If you are divorced in your mid 30's, women think you are God.
@@greatbullet7372 i know where you're coming from, but STEM and medicine fields are a little different. Depends what you want to do really, if you dream of being a doctor, you need to be qualified
@@joekerr5418 its yes and no. respect both views. degree's are helpful, but also ppl with degrees cant find jobs also. i think different perspective's is the equilibrium approach. open mindedness and no not to say estranged and off the deep end and unrealistic, just consideration for others views
This guy has accomplished so much in life and by having the bravery to post this on RU-vid, he's accomplishing so much more than most people could ever hope to.
These people that you referring to who "moved" with their lives, they got stuck in their own tiny universe, and they are not necessarily happier then you are. I wish you good luck my friend.
Try your best to launch a hobby join a club and read how jesus handled these triles learn to love jesus my bro jesus gave his life for you time for you to love him God hand your problems to God man will won't to keep you down do it now before it's to late 🙏❤
@@danielrmz40 I think he is I have hugged him he showed me hi scars from his crusaficicn and he said he was my creator he said I'm under his protection and he said I need to prepare to die in his name because he said he died for me he said he can shape shift he warned ⚠️me just before covid of things to come so in my opinion jesus is unreal I trust in him.i hope he will visit you 2
I'm 45, I lost my entire family, friends moved on and I lost a career of 15 years. I felt lost and defeated... I don't know why I have kept going, but I know that I need to. You're not alone, I read many of the replies here and there are strangers (STRANGERS) who are worried and care about you... so please, let us all know you're ok. Life can be rough, but what makes it beautiful is the love, spirit we all have to live it. So, please, are you okay?
Same 57 though is a long haul, even people you did have relationship with get I'll, loss of clarity and pass away. Just a sad state of affairs life can become.
@@buffy2257 7 billion people on this planet and u would think that there is someone for everyone. Idk. I was with my ex husband for 28 years . Shit went down the tube. I dont like being alone at all. I'm sorry. I live you as long as your a good person. 🙏🏼❤
This was exactly what i needed. No job, no money, no hopes, no dreams, a box to live in, no friends no family, no one checking in no reason to live. I stay going in hopes that one day things will change. Maybe its worth nothing or maybe ill get past it someday. Godspeed brother.
You have to be content in your own company, once you accept that you will enjoy been alone- my son is 43 and the same. He is good looking but only one who never married. Because he’s a hard worker, he enjoys work mates as friends. He looks forward to solitude- at end of week. He’s happy- he loves animals- had a cat. You can love an animal- gives you purpose to care for something. My dad never married until he was 46- he was happy on his own- until then. Appreciate your time- is precious. Happiness is a conscious effort to choose to be happy. Friends are overrated- they borrow- they lie- they use- they play with your feelings.
Feeling exactly this way. Writing this as I am stuck at work in a dull 9-5 office job that I couldn't care less for but 'should be grateful that I have a job'. The thing is if I change jobs it's just the same old daily crap wherever you go. I am 42 and had to move back to my childhood home, no chance of ever owning my own home with the current UK house prices. Feeling isolated like no one can possibly understand the frustration. Like you said everyone has moved on and got married etc. I believe it is the beginning of a mid-life crisis - you are not alone!!!
Can I just add...What you are offering the world is the gift to be able to talk about what's really going on with a lot of people particularly since the pandemic. People are often too ashamed to talk about this stuff so it's a 'you first approach' you have an audience here, keep going xxx
Oh I absolutely understand, you better believe it. Life wasn't meant to be this way but yet here we are. Videos and comments like this though can only help and assure others they aren't the only one suffering 😔
You could have a house in 6 years if you really wanted to. Get a second job, don't eat out, sacrifice travel, nights out you could easily save £15,000 a year for 4 years, and buy a house. If you really wanted to.
@@joedennehy386 A house is a necessity, British citizens shouldn't need to work two jobs to afford one - the relative earnings to asking price is 8.5% + there's something seriously wrong here.
We're about the same age. Can I tell you something critical? Finding someone to be with doesn't mean you won't be lonely anymore. And when you're married but feel misunderstood and alone, that hurts far worse.
It's different. When you are estranged from your family, there is always a chance that might change. When family simply does not EXIST, has never existed...you could not possibly relate. Just like I can't relate when someone says to me, "Sure, we've had our differences, but you know, s/he will always be my sister)brother" or "You know how family is." No, I don't. I have no frame of reference for concepts like that. I grew up without parents, aunt's, uncle's, siblings, or cousins. I have no children, nieces or nephews. I have no living blood relatives, haven't had any for nearly 20yrs, since my grandparents died. No one has ever called me daughter, sister, niece, cousin, aunt or mom, & no one ever will. I am no one to anyone, & I never will be. I am profoundly & irretrievably disconnected from the rest of humanity, whom I can clearly see, are all quite naturally & effortlessly interconnected. I'm like a free radical,meandering through a Universe without a proper place, bumping into stuff, shaking tñings up, then ricocheting off to my next random collision!
Ain't that the truth. If you come from a really big family -- and they've turned on you (for whatever reason) -- it's like the trauma of leaving a long time cult. They're sadistic and cruel and will never let you go, leave you be, or treat you respectfully. It's shunning. And then things to disrespect you - try to irritate you. Constantly.
I really felt this. It’s hard to feel like you’re not alone due to the way our society atomises us as individuals. It’s hard to keep friends as everyone is encouraged to move away and isolate themselves off. I understand the irritability and frustration with life feeling like it’s on hold or stuck. I hope you can find some happiness and meaning. Stay strong.
I'm 39, I have a husband and 3 fur babies and parents BUT at times, I still feel lonely. Some of the most depressed ppl who end up self harming...to the point of no return- are wealthy and have a ton of "friends". You have to be content within yourself and that'll shine through. People don't like depressed people, fake it til you make it! Pray, burn sage, Palo Santo, read, meditation helps, fasting helps, exercising helps! I'm saying this bc I know it works.
Yea I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for over a decade now, and I was unfortunate enough to be stuck around a small group a few months ago that talked down to and couldn't understand why someone would want to suicide which the conversation wasn't about me. I thought about interjecting and busting their balls, but I didn't feel like revealing to the group who my Dad and a youth pastor was in that I've been suicidal and it's a very real and difficult thing to cope with. I cannot stand people that don't even try to attempt to put themselves in others shoes, to have complete lack of empathy and not attempting to comprehend anything but what their miniscule narrowminded false since of reality allows them to see. Ultimately people almost always let you down or dismiss your issues, especially family half the time
@@joshrakestraw3319 its like as if all life just looked at everything you have done and said "ummm ................ dont care none of my buisness deppresed man get on your feet" because to be happy you have to have something to offer to other people otherwise people wont bother with you thats just how it is you feel rejected because we are social beings but deeply lacking empathy also social media has made all of us lack emotion everything feels the same now for everyone whole emotions and life changing experiences are described like nothing undermining our lives when in reality fuck all of that you control yourself and thats a starting point for success dont feel overwhelmed by success of others but put yourself above them and fight dont flight into deppresion id rather fight deing than suffer deing.
It doesn't matter if you understand or not, nothing will change from that. What I learned from life is that everybody is busy fighting their own demons and problems, the only person who can help you is yourself.
I resonate with many parts of your message, and I hope life has improved in the past two years. You’re a lovely person and I for one would be honored to be your friend.
Life is meant to break us down until we finally are sick and tired of being sick and tired. These experiences are meant to push us out of our comfort zone and follow our inner compass which we all seem to ignore. These experiences are not happening TO you. They are happening FOR you. One day you will understand what I mean. The people who have been through it understand what I mean. Every single successful person on this earth has been through some kind of hardship like this. Don't give up brother. We are descendants of warriors. We are strong enough.
> Life is meant to break us down That's exactly what your capitalist over-lords want you to think. Blaming yourself excuses the systems in-play that favor few at the expense of the many. Stop licking their boots.
@@senseofstile " However there are three things everyone wants; money, good health, and true love." Ironically I have purposely chosen NOT to chase money or true love, and have never had a lonely day in my life.
Your honesty, calmness and eloquence are admirable young man , because you are still YOUNG…change comes from within and having been through similar times in the past , I can truly appreciate how you feel. Hang in there 🙏🏻😎
I can relate! Your life isn’t over, you’ve got time to work through the stuff your struggling with. I’ve been there, hell millions of people across the globe are going through the same things. You are not alone. It’s gonna take work but it is worth it. The only way out is through. An old friend gave me that advice years ago and it has stuck with me ever since. The only way out of your circumstance, any given circumstance, is to face your fears, your discomfort, your problems head on. It’ll be difficult, but most things worth doing are difficult. I feel like that’s the only way most of us grow and mature as people is to tackle these sort of issues head on. Nobody else can do it for you and even if they could the lessons learned through the trials and tribulations would be lost on them. You’ve got this! Start small, begin with taking care of yourself. Your hygiene, your appearance, your health. Then start cleaning your room or making y our bed. Then, do the dishes, take the trash out, clean the yard, etc. Making friends and romantic partners when your older can be really difficult Find hobbies, have new experiences then find people who also enjoy doing this things. I know it can be uncomfortable and awkward talking to new people but you’ll eventually develop that skill and before you know it you’ll have a circle of friends who love and care about you. But you have to start, you have to take the first step. It may be the most difficult step but as I said, it’ll be worth it.
You didn’t squander your money, you had an adventure. This is just a blip. I didn’t leave home till I was 34, met my husband then spent 5 years of having a few lovely holidays, had my first baby at 42 and my husband was 47 . I felt great when I finally got my husband and baby. That was 18 years ago and I count my blessings. Still have things to do and am trying. Your life will turn around when you least expect it to
You sound like me and I hope to have a baby at 40-42 too, as I just found at 35 who I want to have a baby with and he doesn’t have Cluster B personalities like others I’ve been with. Feel blessed. Just wish I had met him earlier and avoided NPD (narcissistic personality disorder ) and ASPD (sociopathy) heartache
Hugs darling, you are not only one, but 37 is truly young! I too need to feel loved, and I have 3 adult children just alone! Most of my family has died, it sucks.
You making this video is unvelievably brave dude. Most just suffer silently or put on fake smile. Admitting your doubts about yourself and life is the healthiest thing you can do. I've had deep depression all my life ..covid got me back out Into nature...walks.. camping...being in peaceful surroundings help. Sending positive vibes your way man.
One of the saddest things I have had to go through was realising I was not liked nor loved when I previously thought I was. The wake up call was life changing and heart breaking.
Hi Cookie, the same thing here. As you said it was like someone slapped me in the face and I hate it. Can’t believe it or process it still. My anger is boiling and I don’t know what to do about it. I was just used and abused the whole time.
@@afraalsamkari2445 I think it might be a case of we didn't really understand or were oblivious to human dynamics and suddenly woke up to the true reality of it. Maybe, I don't know. But yeah its a real slap in the face. Stay strong Afra x
@@Cookie-Yeah197 Thank you for enlightening me and for your nice words💕❤️. I think you are correct. I hope that there’s something we can change or fix so that we would stay alive and strive. Love and Hugs 🤗 💕👍🏻❤️ for you Cookie.
True, there's still an emptiness, we need The Lord Jesus Christ, He can fill the void, He laid down His life so we can have eternal Life. It is all real, Jesus Christ is the only Way to Heaven. Seek Him and be saved, God bless you.
In 2021 and 2022, I lost everyone I cared for. Consequently, due to the financial requirements, I was living in my car. All of the people in life walked away from me. Being solo is healthy, learn to enjoy it. Learn to rely on yourself. Days you're going through are needed for your soul. I use to beat myself up mentally about all of it as well. All of this happening for a good reason, ride it out brother. Things always get better.
Thank you for making this video, I am literally en route for the same and saw your older videos. I was complacent but hopefully i can do something before its too late
@@Veganism_is_death-vh2un It's not just a matter of loneliness - it's a matter of purpose. For women, it partially satisfies their maternal nature but for most guys, it's not going to fulfill the desire to have a partner and a real family. Getting an animal that simply sticks around because you feed it cannot be compared to the deep dynamics that go into a relationship with a spouse and raising kids.
@@Bristecom I beg to differ on that opinion..just look at the likes of who found a young cat on his travels and proceeded to travel Europe by bicycle with this cat as his companion.. pets when treated as companions have so much to give back not just dependency.
@@Veganism_is_death-vh2un absolutely..It's cars for me but yes dogs are wonderful companions too. It's what you give( the time/love / communication) that you get back with these animals and they never judge or double-cross 😊
I totally feel you, bro. I'm 47 and I don't talk much about my loneliness because I'm often depicted as one who's simply victimizing myself. It's rough. One thing I won't do is try and end my life because of it though. I figure I have an eternity to be dead; life is just a small window of our overall existence. I'm going to try and find happiness SOMEhow while my heart still beats.....somehow. Best wishes to you, man.
If you don't have anybody then how come you aren't talking to people in the streets? Or any area? It's not like people are living away from others. Not sure how come you sending that video to people.
@@user-gn8eb4ii9p It’s not that simple. Talking to random strangers isn’t going to fix the deeper aspect of loneliness, which is having no deep and meaningful connections in your life. Also, it is often frowned upon to go and chat up to random people on the streets. People will not receive it necessarily very kindly. Especially in some cultures such as where I live, it’s absolutely not acceptable. Add to the fact that the me too movement made especially man vary of approaching women, this has caused them to steer away from approaching others altogether. If there’s a high likelihood of you being accused of being a harasser, you’re not going to start to have a conversation with a stranger. It’s often seen invasive and weird. That’s unfortunately the current social culture. People are cold and distant, and more inclined to be exclusive to new people and not wanting to add any more members to their inner social clique. People aren’t as connected as they were before, and technology has exacerbated this issue.
Why not risk everything while you're still alive. Just do something you really like to do, go for it and follow through! I used to be depressed, lived in a small (and cheap) studio and had a job that gave some feeling of importance. After doing this job for 10 years, I had my yearly vacation. All the years before, I was kinda looking forward to going back to the job, but that year I had no interest in this job anymore. An exciting, but scary idea came to my head: what if I just quit that job?? After that idea and the excitement I felt about quitting that job, my head started racing with possibilities and I wrote a manifesto for myself for things I had to do to get out of the sh*thole I was in. I quit my job, bought a small house that I wanted to renovate all by myself (without any experience), got myself a simple job (in an amusement park) and 3 years later, I am a lot happier person. When I look back at those 10 years, then it just felt like I was just standing still for this whole time. I did have some of the most chaotic periods in my life after I quit that job and changed my life-style, but it was all worteth. Good luck to you and I hope you find the courage to take a gamble with your life!!!!! You have nothing to lose!!!!
How come people still talking to others in school and I see couples every area I go to. Not everybody is manipulated by things people hear. People should not jump to conclusions@@207humanity
38 and practically the same situation, it's like there is a same pattern. The feeling we are not made for this world, wrong in everything, born by mistake.
Thank you for posting this. It made me very emotional because it hurts to hear someone suffering in that way. I also know all too well what depression, hopelessness and a lack of purpose feels like. I too am 37yrs old and was dumped last year after a 7yr relationship. I don't have any children but want them. My entire family is in Russia and here it's just my mom, Dad and brother and everyone is on their own and living their own lives. I don't have any friends because like you said, everyone developed families, moved away etc. Everyone my age is already settled down and not necessarily looking to mingle. It's very difficult on a lot of days, it is. However, I mainly want to commend you for sharing this so publicly. That's very courageous of you. I rarely let anyone know how truly lonely and desperate for connection I am sometimes. I put on a facade of coolness, happiness and free of care. It's just so embarrassing and vulnerable for me to be open about this to people. So for you to come out and speak on these topics is a big deal and I'm proud of you. Just know that it definitely helped me today knowing that I'm not alone. ❤
You said: "When you don't care about anything; when you don't care about life itself..." That's an essential point for me. People are often confused by my attitude, or by the choices I make in life. Example: A guy drove his car straight through the wall of my house and into my living room. People kept saying: "You're taking this remarkably calmly!" They didn't know or understand that when you spend most nights contemplating suicide you're just not going to care about a hole in the wall.
this is why i find the whole field of psychology funny because they think they can understand our minds, which would take 2 lifetimes of study. i don't see the point of attempting it.
38 and I’m right here with you. What I’m finding is that when I do find other humans, most are unpleasant, disrespectful, all about that rat-race, self-centered and just narcissistic. I hope you find a way that gets you where you eventually decideto be.
I get really bad vibes from people too. I’m sometimes not quite sure what they mean and if I ask I get snarked at! I always feel that the snark is because I actually spotted something when I wasn’t supposed to and that is why it irks them 😣
Hi,ty for being so honest about this. I am in a very similar position. So makes me realise I’m not alone with it. I’m 46 now,I had long relationship that lasted 12 years. That was over 10 years ago. Since then I have had attempts at relationships. But they never work out. I too find it hard to see the good in people. Really hard to trust.There doesn’t seem to be any genuine people out there anymore. Everyone’s judgemental. I find being single at my age. People think it’s wierd. They need to put people in a box and label it. As it makes them feel better in some way. Like you I don’t feel like I serve any purpose. But I try to put my attention in family. People I love. Maybe we are here to live this kind of life to try to understand ourselves. If we were surrounded by friends and women. Would we have time to understand ourselves?Would we be the same person,have the same amount of compassion for others? I try to think, there has to be a reason behind everyone’s life situation. The smallest actions sometimes have a massive affect. The ripple affect in water. With this video you have touched so many lives. Total respect from me. Also. Women love an honest man. It’s a rare thing nowadays. So I see some offers coming your way. You will be fine 👍
Key to depression, quit drink or drugs, lower expectations, exercise, get away from mental health services and their pills, unless your suicidal. The world is wonderful when you look at it with the right perspective, i spent years feeling like you do and one day i just let go of obsessively thinking about what i didnt have and started to focus on the important things. My dog also helps me out massively, i love our walks together. I hope your doing better now mate 👍
My feelings are generated by what I think about. When numerous areas of my life start to create an imbalance towards doom and gloom, then so my 'feelings' tend to reflect this. It's the 'suckhole' of life and not easy to climb out of. I think the key is to simply understand and comprehend and more importantly, to believe this mechanism is true. If we can focus on just one positive thing, we have the ability and chance to have one positive thought and with practice and perhaps help from someone else that also believes in this mechanism, we can turn that one positive thought into a bigger thought, to grow it and use it as a springboard to think of anything else positive and eventually have some stepping stones of positivity to climb out of the suckhole. It's not easy when the things that matter most to you are not going particularly great and you can't see solutions readily available, it can be overwhelming for sure, but hope is the start and we have to believe that there is hope. I think it starts with hope and we go from there.
Great man, now that you made yourself feel so smart and solution look so easy guy reading this may feel as failure due to not being able to perform something so simple.
@migaru7362 No, not all. It was just what I learned about going through the system a few times. It was by no means a quick process, I was merely trying to give people a few pointers to where I messed up and hopefully bring them back from that dark place as quickly as possible. Have a great day 👍
@captntorthenaer-do-wellcad3191 Yes, that works well, especially at first, I found switching off the TV helps with that as it's mostly doom and gloom. We really are monkey see, monkey do.
Here's the deal. You've been caught up in this notion that you should conform to everyone else's path. You've been battling your own mind, thinking you must fit a certain mold. But the breakthrough came for me around 5 years ago when I embraced the truth-I don't have to be like everyone else. It's alright not to be married, not to have kids, not to possess remarkable skills or defined passions. It's fine to have a history of mistakes. At 44, I said enough to this internal struggle that haunted me for years. A shift occurred within me. I made a conscious decision to accept myself, acknowledging my lack of conventional skills, numerous mistakes, solo status, and apparent flaws. I embraced being what many would label a "loser." Strangely, by genuinely liking myself despite all this, it was like flicking a switch. The deep-seated depression that plagued me for over a decade vanished overnight. For years, I lived in constant discontent, each day a struggle. Now, for the past 5 years, it's the complete opposite. I'm consistently happy, content, and unfazed by most things. All it took was accepting and liking who I am. I've come to appreciate not fitting the mold; it's become a positive aspect. Life's all about perspective, and a simple change in outlook can make all the difference.
40. An abusive upbringing kept me from a career, marriage, kids, etc. But now I realise that I didn't want any of that. I'm actually glad to have eschewed it. I definitely don't consider myself a "loser". I'm an intelligent and happy autodidact. I love engaging my passions -- film, music, culinary challenges, esoterica/spirituality, fragrances, style, psychology, philosophy. I love being by myself, and I never get lonely. I walk everywhere (never learned to drive), and I particularly like 3-4am walks. Good luck doing that with a family and inflexible responsibility. I love a sedentary life, but this is perfect way to get that exercise in. I did abort my study but picked up some contracting work through a friend in the field; I think it helps to have at least one person you're in frequent contact with (one good friend). And a little bit of work you enjoy helps. I actually feel like most other people are wasting their life. They're unhappy and greedy. They've no time for themselves. They've no spiritual connection. They've no connection to their body. And then they obviously haven't seen, read or listened to as much as I. I have no regrets. I like losing people that I've loved. I like missing them, but I don't want them. If you clicked your finger and gave me my perfect woman and kids, I would reject it. When I am dying, I will embrace it. If there's another phase, I'll have opened that aperture. Others will not have relinquished their baggage -- ego, fear, love, hate, trauma, guilt, etc. I often parse out my past. I don't feel the need to integrate my parents. I may live the life I was pushed towards, but it also happens to be the life I want.
@@kazman_6899 When I mentioned "loser," I was referring to society's conventional standards - someone like me who lacks marriage, children, a flourishing career, or deep friendships. However, I don't personally consider myself a loser. My definition of success revolves around being exceptionally fit. I find fulfillment in leading a straightforward life without unnecessary complexities, content with my role as a mere observer on this planet.
Loneliness along with depression are prolly some of the worst things a human can experience,living in a prolonged state of depression is basically hell😷good luck to everyone dealing with this🎇
Careful listened to him and i can only admit am heading to the same fate.. Every choice we make in life no matter how small it might seem it contributes to the future.
I feel your pain. What's weird is that I'm 48, I have a wife and family and I'm a professor. Everyone seems to love me, but my anxiety and depression makes me feel like I'm totally alone and isolated, like nobody knows the real me. People look at me and would never imagine that I feel like I'm stuck on a desert island all alone.
The pain really intensifies when you no longer can use your family, job or bank account as a distraction. You feel alone in your own head, like an outsider. I did everything society told me to do…marriage, kids, mortgage, but the emptiness is still there as a constant companion.
Thank you so much for your honesty. I hope a lot of people read your comment and understand that, family, friends, job, position in society does not bring us lasting joy or happiness. I don't want to advise you on how to find meaning and purpose in life; but as one who has pursued higher education and have experience family and worldly success; it did me no good. I was depressed and prayed for death to put an end to my miserable existence every single day. As soon as I woke up, first thing I did was pray for death. Then I started to meditate on the Word of God; and have a mantra running through my consciousness constantly: "By His stripes I am healed." This practice of deep meditating on the love of God and being grateful for the blessings in my life has been a game changer; as it can be for everyone who would try. I also took certain supplements that enhance brain function and mood: Sam-e, 5HTP, Fish Oil, Magnesium, etc. Sometimes if we are lacking vital nutrients; depression and anxiety is the end result. God's speed my brother. The heart is a lonely hunter.
@@freespirit-111 I feel your pain my sister. The fact is: family, friends, job, position in society does not bring us lasting joy or happiness. I don't want to advise you on how to find meaning and purpose in life; but as one who has pursued higher education and have experience family and worldly success; it did me no good. I was depressed and prayed for death to put an end to my miserable existence every single day. As soon as I woke up, first thing I did was pray for death. Then I started to meditate on the Word of God; and have a mantra running through my consciousness constantly: "By His stripes I am healed." This practice of deep meditating on the love of God and being grateful for the blessings in my life has been a game changer; as it can be for everyone who would try. I also took certain supplements that enhance brain function and mood: Sam-e, 5HTP, Fish Oil, Magnesium, etc. Sometimes if we are lacking vital nutrients; depression and anxiety is the end result. God's speed my brother. The heart is a lonely hunter.
Because you never got to know yourself and enjoyed your time alone perhaps. Being alone and not feeling lonely is a soul journey that will make you happier than ever.
Believe it or not I lost touch with friends when I had cancer. Now it’s just me. I understand to a degree how you feel my friend. I will be praying for Gods favor in your life.
Same with me man, 38, lonely and stuck, been trying everything to keep me motivated but still feeling empty, drinking every single night, hard to get sober, anxiety every night.. keep strong buddy, take care, from Indonesia 🇮🇩
Definitely get sober. At the very least, you won’t suffer from annoying hangovers anymore. Alcohol is a depressant. I am wishing much love to come your way. The world is a better place with you in it. Never forget that. A friend. ❤
You NEED to stop drinking. It will destroy you. Whatever you think the drink is giving you, it's a lie. A lie tha the drug tells you. There s no easy way. It will feel like crap but there is no alternative. It gets better after a couple of months. Pick up a simple habit of running every morning force you get up and start the day and distract you. You can do it. Bu don't look for an easy way.
I think it's important to continue trying to connect (always remaining respectful of people's boundaries) and the more people you connect with the less desperate you'll feel
2 years ago I was exactly in your situation until I got a dog. That decision changed everything and now I know nearly every dog owner in my neighbourhood. Sometimes we even go for a drink. Plus I get the love of my beautiful dog who also gave me the motivation to simply live. I wouldn't change him for anything in the world. Recently I started a part-time job. A miracle! I hope this helps if you are still feeling stuck. Keep your pecker up and the best of luck.
I hope you’re doing better ❤ I can relate to everything you’re saying. I’m 39 and haven’t accomplished anything. I have no friends, my family is so toxic that I’m forced to keep them at a distance for my own sanity and I’m recovering from an abusive long term relationship that ended a year ago. I’m going to therapy and even though I try to be hopeful, the years of hardship is having its toll on my will to carry on. People scare the hell out of me!
Don't feel too bad. I'm in my fifties in the same boat, except I didn't do the great things you did, just wasted away year after year. Went crawling back to mom's spare room in my 50's, talk about humiliating. I did get out of there, but like you have no real friends, relationship, etc. I think the solution is for people like us to socialize together, because most have built families by your age and that is the main factor in our loneliness. It's just the nature of today's society to spend nearly all your time with your new family and there's nothing wrong with that. Let's be the solution we need, rather than dwell on what cannot be changed! Much love brother, hold on strong.
Mate this is very wise words, you should try and build up a group or something for people like minded or in sane situation in your area, you'd could be a real comfort for one another
I like your words and you're right, people like us show socialize together.
2 года назад
I became dad for first time aged 39 in 2010! I'm a 15 yo stuck in the body of a 49 year old. A Udemy course about influence and pursuasion taught me a lot about how to impove my behavior. The course was "12 in 1 sales and influence mastery". Also look for courses by Chris Croft. I only learned this when I was already 48 yo. Wish I could have learned this 30 years ago when I was 21.
I hope you are in a better place now. I can relate to the loneliness, lack of motivation and endlessly reviewing the past to figure out how I ended up here. Thanks for your bravery. There are 7k comments and 46k likes on your post. You are definitely not alone.
I was ostracised from my family over a decade ago. One day while working a contract job I was in my car eating lunch in a Walmart parking lot. In front of me was a car that had one of those decals on the back and it said " If God is all you have, God is all you need ". Those words have stuck with me through thick and thin and I keep it close to my heart to this day. Stay strong my friend !
Man I feel this on so many levels. It didn't really set in until I allowed myself to be single for a while. Having a girlfriend around was more a distraction to my lifestyle than anything else. Being a full-time content creator and "work-from-home" person in a new city during covid has really pulled the curtains back and made me rethink how I treat life. Mom and Dad passed away, just my grandparents (god bless them) and it's hard to not spiral and abuse substances when thinking about it. What I've learned to do is meditate and constantly remind myself what is currently happening around me and not what my mind wants me to feel. I practice stoicism, I go for walks often, I work out, and soon I hope i will muster the courage to walk up to strangers and try to make friends soon. God bless bro, it will get better!
I feel you man. Working out I think honestly saved my life. Something to focus on, i find it cathartic at times, other times it drives me to want to better myself. But i almost always feel better after it. I would advocate consciously trying to live healthily, as much as your depressed mind wants you to slump into bed and eat ice cream all the time, to eat well and exercise. It will no longer be a chore and living a healthy life will become 2nd nature. Joy will come as a result of that. If you can fit some meditation in there too, great!
@Block Chain i dont know exactly what you would call it. I guess mindfulness, this does not involve chanting. But i have used apps like Headspace or WakingUp. I think they would help anyone who finds themselves getting distracted when trying to meditate. I found these very useful to guide you through, as a beginner. You may have to pay for them, but i think it is worth it for a clear head. I feel i can now take 5 minutes alone and do those techniques myself, unaided.
You most likely have financial stability tho. Imagine feeling like all this stuff, parents dying, streaming and content creation going downhill, and like nothing is going anywhere. This is what is going on with me, and it hurts pretty bad, even after trying really hard to fix things.
I hear you brother. I feel the same way and worked a job for years driving 4 hours round trip that basically killed me. At least I got somewhat of a pension out of it but it was very very hard and stressful. Now my body is falling apart and I don’t know what to do with myself . You’re not alone
I'm 59 and have no friends, no family, no one to make coffee for. I had a career now I'm unemployed. I had a wonderful life and married. All gone now. What's keeping me going? Some days I don't know. 😢
You are brave to speak about these things; and it's good to know that there are lots out there who feel this way. I am planning to take a pet cat or dog and once I earn enough, I will possibly adopt a child who needs a home.
As a 44 year old that has no kids or family, the one thing that gives me peace is knowing that no matter what I do financially, it wont matter. That’s why I try get out and do adventures, and not worry about buying a house or saving money. I’ll be dead and gone, and knowing that I won’t be leaving anyone in financial rune is comforting. It sucks that I didn’t take advantage of the opportunities I had to have kids. I do feel like I missed out on a lot of what life has to offer by not having kids, but what’s done is done, and I refuse to feel bad about it. Stay strong brother, and try and have some fun. I know it can be rough at times. Getting a pet helps too.
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home! thx
I also feel the same. I’m in my late 40’s. No kids, no husband, no friends. I always wanted kids, my mother had foster kids when I was in high school and I loved them to death. Over 30 years later I still think about them. My biggest regret in life. My family name ends with me. I have depression and it’s hard to accept I will never find love or have what I see others have in those cute instagram shorts I torture myself with. I also wonder how this guy is doing now. He made this around heavy Covid times so i know he was feeling worse. And yes, I feel desperate and as a woman it’s worse finding love. Men my age want younger women not women their own age. It’s definitely soul destroying.
I abandoned relationships back in 2004 and decided that it was time to be alone and strengthen myself and get used to it. It took a while and I endured a lot of loneliness, but eventually I made the right life changes and began to enjoy my own company. I achieved a lot during that time which included becoming financially stable, opening up my own business, becoming physically fit and I got my self esteem back to a healthy level. It didn't happen overnight, but the slow progress made it so the foundation was more strong and nailed to the ground much more secure. I've lost family since then but other than that, I plowed through the lonely hard times with as little resistance and with as little adversaries as possible. It made me realize that I was more lonely being around the wrong people than I was being actually "alone". I protect my soul, peace of mind and well being from the wrong company more than I did back in 2003. My whole view on being "alone" has completely changed in 20 years. It was way more depressing being in a room full of people who aren't spiritually on the same page as I than it was being on the porch of my cabin meditating in the middle of the woods with just God, nature and I.
Absolutely agree. Well done you. I am 54 and only woke up to this 2 years ago. I was never part of the conforming mediocrity but I had no boundaries and so let bad people into my life. Eventually, all the negative impacts hit home and I locked my gate, literally, and dived into Jordan Peterson, Stoicism, Minimalism and some great stand up comedy. Began practicing permaculture so as to avoid utter dependence on the shops. It's lonely, especially over winter, but my 2 doggos keep me sane and I am acclimatising to solitude. Rather be alone than be abused.
thats very good to know and advicewise very useful as taken me at least over 20 years to realise I need to sort my own needs and health out etc.. barely have any family what so ever and recall my late mum telling me I need to stop doing and helping others and look after myself as she said no one else will, and too late now as never got what she meant as I'd always rush to help someone out with their problems and life and my own things now so overwhelming as never got round to dealing with many complex issues of my own, its very difficult now to get back on track but starting to feel calmer with less people in my life at all now.. as sad as it sounds
There are more of us out here than you think man. I'm a truck driver and in this line of work we don't even have the ability to make new friends because we're always gone different places. I live in my truck and am alone too. I feel you brother.
Trust me man, there is no getting left behind in this life, a lot of people are putting facade up of being “successful” but 1) they’re really not and 2) successful is subjective, so you are alright mate 💯
You seem like a perfectly likeable, gentle, sensitive and loveable person from my perspective, and I'm sure any person watching's perspective. Im 47, 37 is not old or too late for anything. I wish you heartfelt luck and energy in getting to a better place.
I'm 32 just ended a 12 year relationship (I lost my best friend), and my first best friend was killed many years ago, and realized I have no support system. I reached out to my therapist and psychiatrist and random strangers on the internet. It helped but I crave a physical connection. Everyone says they'll be there when you need them, but then you don't want to be an inconvenience.
Wow! What a heartless comment. He’s trying not to be an inconvenience and you’re telling him to stop burdening people. You shouldn’t be on this page upsetting others. He seems like a lovely person.
I come back to this video every so often when I feel alone in my experience. It’s rare to find someone speak on these issues in a way that I can truly relate to. Life has thrown me many different curve balls over the last number of years, so much so that I barely recognize myself these days. I find myself clinging to the past, missing the time of my life when I felt like I understood what was going on. All I do now is drown myself in whatever I can distract myself with on my phone when I’m not at work. I completely gave up on my vision, and became so disconnected from myself and the world around me. Life feels hollow, scary, and weird now. I can’t seem to connect with anyone these days. Everything changed around me in the blink of an eye. Although I’m only now in my 30s, I relate a lot to your experience. I don’t know a way out of it, how to get to some place that makes sense again. Hopefully things have improved to some extent since you’ve posted this video. You’re certainly not alone.
Feeling you brother. Trust me you are not alone. Take it from me... number one try to have something to look forward to, be it the weekend or something more in the future. The thing is... depression is not a constant, it has and will go away for a while, but it will come back so it’s not wrong to feel like this, and I have your back bro... it’s how you deal with it . Try to be positive and much love to you bro ❤❤❤
Stay strong! I'm a loner (46 y.o.) and have my mom but she's 80. No kids. I am really scared about getting older and having no one. I think about it all the time! Thanks for this video. I thought I was the only one.
I feel ya. I'm 43 and my mom is 71 and we are roomates because cost of living here is too dang high. I feel the same way. I don't want to live the rest of my life with my insecurities. I would like to overcome them as I am ultimately getting older and then having no one just makes me really anxious.
I'm almost 57. I've been single about 15 years now. His story and feelings could easily be mine. Many people fill their lives with empty friendships to "fill the void." I do not recommend this. I've learned to go out to bars by myself, movies by myself, and even restaurants alone. I've learned to enjoy and appreciate my own company. Its better to be alone than spend time with the wrong people.
I'm 53 as of 2 minutes ago, literally. This describes me in so many ways. The only comfort I have is that there are so many like me around or worse. I'm terrified for the future. I'm embarrassed. I'm ashamed of my lack of accomplishments. Oh well- back to watching You Tube. Yay.
Don't worry I'm in the same boat. I have a couple of disabilities to conquer and issues such as depression which doesn't help the situation. No friends for years. Thinking those people were friends but when you're the only one making any effort to keep in touch, you feel like you're clinging onto something that's not meant to be. Only have my father but that will never be enough. People need friends their own age or have something in common and finding that in one area of this massive world is almost impossible to accomplish. The majority of us aren't happy and/or content with what we have and what we don't have. Life is meant to be good. Was when you're younger for some moments. Not necessarily all the time.
That's the thing, we are conditioned to associate accomplishments with self-acceptance. It's conditional. It shouldn't be that way. A loved child is loved irrespective of accomplishments.
I know what you mean about feeling stuck and isolated. You aren’t alone. I appreciate you being honest about how you feel. Thoughts and prayers with you.
Im 38 years old and once i felt the same as you. I was in the same situation too. No therapy helped, no pills, no specialists. I was devastated by my lonely life. One day I realized that I had no influence on certain things in my life. I also realized that I cannot make happiness dependent on everything that the world imposes on us. I realized that not everyone has the same script (friends, social life, good job, wife, kids..). I accepted my life as it is and began to enjoy the smallest things. I don't expect much from life because expectation is the enemy of happiness. Nothing in my life has changed except that I am happy with myself. This is perhaps the healthiest way to deal with loneliness. It is not easy, no one said that life would be like that. Accept reality, find other goals, priorities, love yourself, appreciate the gift of life, no matter what it is. It's normal that we want to be needed by someone, we want to be loved, but we don't have 100% influence on it, so we can't blame ourselves. Be happy with yourself, live your life with dignity, do not make happiness dependent on anything. Be happy here and now.
ThankU so much for taking the time to share that🥲 no lie it made me tear up a lil bit & I needed to read that.. I let go of my family a while ago & my 2 older brothers as well this year.. I am doing the best I can to go on with the rest of my life. But thankyou for that ❤
27 here, came to the same conclusion recently and, no joke, just being happy with myself gave me the confidence to start socializing more. Happiness MUST come from within for anything to change.
Yo, bredda, nuh worry yuhself! Life have dem twists and turns, but keep yuh head up. Jah know di struggles, but faith inna di most high will guide yuh through 🙏! Stay strong!
