Taipans yup, that's one thing that'll make me close a video real fast. If you can't speak a single sentance without jumpcuts you're not worth listening to
Nicolai I wouldn't go that far at all. Sometimes a creator cuts out material they don't think is important to the video. I've seen plenty of videos where they don't have jump cuts and it drags on. It can be a crutch or a valuable tool depending on how it's used. What matters most is the story.
***** They are, indeed. They're eternally dressier than a crew neck and add definition to those who lack it. Ever since I switched over to v-necks, I've been getting compliments left and right. (a lot compared to none.)
When I was in seventh grade, I switched schools in the middle of the year. My first week in, students were playing badminton during gym class, myself included. At some point, the principal came in to talk to one of the coaches. It was around this time that I hit the principal in the head with a birdie. 10/10 first impressions
TheLitLighter you could honestly just try and compliment the girl or try and just hit off a conversation if you can relate to something you see her doing.
What impresses me the most about this channel is how much information he gives us in 10 minutes or more and he doesn't stop. Most RU-vidrs just cut the parts where they're thinking what to say and stuff like that but this guy doesn't. He knows how to talk. Also RU-vidrs who do these kinds of videos where they don't cut anything, you'll here them say "Ummm.." and stuff like that. He doesn't. Honestly, you're such a good RU-vidr. I subbed to you after 1 minute of watching your first video. Fantastic channel.
i struggle a LOT with setting boundaries verbally. I have no problem cutting someone out of my life for being a jerk, but other than going "no contact", I can't verbalize boundaries....do you have any videos on how to feel more comfortable setting and confidently announcing your boundaries?
Same. I feel like it creates a negative space and even if they can get over it I just can't. Feels like there's always going to be some animosity between us if someone confronts the other, so I usually just cut them out completely.
+Theryn12 I have a more visceral reaction in those situations. My body floods with adrenaline (in a bad way) and it takes me a while to shake off the rush. I also can't think straight as I'm talking because my body just wants to take off sprinting lol I need to master this, but I'm not sure where to begin!
+Soffee Tee Breathe... There's a vid that talks about that exact same thing... basically you not controlling your raw "data".. your heartbeat, your brainwaves, etc... you can gain control by breathing with a regular and smooth tempo. breathe in for 2 seconds and out for 2 seconds (or however amount of time you'd like to pace yourself. And focus the breath in your chest, rather than taking deep breathes (which you can do too) but just breathe haha. I'll link the vid when I see it again.
Recently I've noticed that my speaking skills are not always the greatest when meeting new people, watching this video has made me realize that it's mainly because I'm trying to be something I am not and try my best to match interests and agree with people on everything when that isn't really necessary. Thank you for the advice! :)
Sometimes you get kicked out if you don’t book another night in your bed and someone takes it before you can reschedule last minute. When I’m traveling on the fly it can happen. Honest mistake.
He said once, i believe, that you should just state the awkward moments by saying "well, this is awkward" Another way to avoid awkward situations is by joining improv classes. They help you think on you feet and come up with new conversations. Also making you pretty funny as a bonus.
i really like the anecdotes, dialogue, and examples. at first, i was going to skip through, just get the gist cuz i didnt want to watch a 10 min video but the stories were really captivating. i was like "oh shit, how did the boss react?!" lol, keep it up
I agree...he got huge level of energy...his conversation style is charismatic...most of you think I am bullshitting here....but I am dead serious....just saw how wide his mouth is when he speaks....he will be an excellent joker!
hey bro, take some acting classes man...you are from USA...not a big problem for you guys to act in Hollywood...unlike me, from Asia, an Indian, dark skin and the most shit thing is we do not have acting audition here :(
This is starting to become my all-time favourite RU-vid channel! I've always loved the arts of social interaction and self-improvement, and now finally, there's a place that hits every single topic I'm interested in. Great job man, you have my full support!
I cannot even begin to explain how helpful these videos are, not only in what you are saying, but how you say. It reflect the tips you give in other videos. So glad I found this channel!! Thank you for all of it!!!!
hate to say it, but i've found many times that setting the boundary by telling someone not to do something is the quickest way to get fired, followed, or threatened. nobody likes being ordered to say or do something, especially since the reality is, they know they don't have to. a person used to abusing others is a person who is never going to take an insult in the open like that.
That could very well be because of a given person’s approach, though. People are different, and blanket statements don’t hold up because of it. Context and perception are key here. There’s a few people who are impossible to work with, but even so, establishing your boundaries is still vital to healthy interactions. If staying quiet and taking abuse out of fear is your only option, you need to GTFO anyways.
I could be completely wrong but I'm going to guess that you're a woman. Setting boundaries as a lady is something men can never understand or advise on. It is often dangerous because other people have been culturally encouraged to feel entitled to our time, attention and energy. If we deny them something they feel entitled to they feel insulted, and may retaliate with insults, power displays, intentional boundary breaking, physical intimidation or worse. I was talking to a male friend last night about 'doing things with yourself ' as in, going out alone to do something you love instead of trying to find a buddy to go with you. Concerts, museums, movies whatever. I found myself explaining that being alone at places like that seemed to put a spotlight on me, and instead of enjoying my "me time" I spent most of the time navigating how to safely disengage with the men who saw my singleness as an invitation. Being nice to strangers crossing my boundaries, pretending to have important phone things to do, saying thank you to the guy on the bus who insisted I take my headphones off so I could hear him tell me I was pretty. It's exhausting and sad. My guy friend seemed genuinely shocked to hear me say that was why I didn't go out by myself, while he just felt bored or uncomfortable without someone to talk to. He worried about looking like a loser, while I worried about my physical safety. The girl in his story who laughed along to being hit on in a meeting probably would have either been fired or handed shittier circumstances/projects if she had firmly set boundaries with her superior.
It's going to depend on where you work though, and your level of relative authority. If you're working a minimum wage job, where you're easily replaceable as well as expected for do as you're told and not think or show initiative, of course speaking back is going to get you fired. On the other hand more skilled employees in jobs where initiative and risk taking is encouraged in a perhaps more naturally adversarial setting of the sales or banking industry, they are more likely to gain from the sort of actions he described. I can't speak for your experiences of course but I think it's going to be different for every workplace.
All these years I've been watching Charisma on Command, and I never knew that Charlie was an absolute killer behind that microphone. Black v-neck t-shirts are in transit to my door right now. In all seriousness, this just showcases that you practice what you preach, and makes this channel all the more genuine. I've always loved your videos and find myself charismatic, while simultaneously being a doormat. They've helped to mend the latter attribute, and now I have a new goal: being able to speak this clearly and hold as much attention as you can, for an extended period of time. Kudos amigo, this was awesome.
Socializing with new people has always been really difficult for me. I prefer to be alone and I can be really self conscious. But with advice like this, my anxiety feels so much less. I love your videos and regularly try to use your tips when I'm forced out of my comfort zone. Thank you for doing what you love!!! If no one else, it definitely makes a difference to me. 🙂
The worse thing is wanting to socialize but not being good at it, like honestly people who dont want to socialize are kinda lucky because at least they are satisfied
I got to practice the second one on my first day of school. My teacher didn't like country music and I was able to voice that I disagreed and loved the country genre. I was able to keep the conversation genuine and fun while also sharing opinions. Thanks for making these videos.
The reality is unattractive people have a harder lot in life. I used to be a chunky girl, constantly passed over. As soon as I slimmed down, men and women started treating me like I actually existed. It really sucks, but this is reality. If the dude in this video was a hunchback with jacked up teeth, none of us would care what he has to say. You can be gorgeous, yet shallow, snobbish, under-qualified, and still get the job simply because you're attractive. I had a boss tell me once that they were glad they hired me because my "presence" made the office look much nicer. Like, what am I a fucking ornament? That said, people are shit and I could careless about their impressions of me.
Hey sorry these girls on here are complete assholes. I completely hear where you're coming from and I think you're spot on. I'm still chunky but now I make an effort with clothes/hair/makeup and it makes a difference in how people treat me. It gives me more confidence and makes people look twice at me and want to be near me. That said, it's not real fun to feel like people only keep you around because they think you're pretty or because they like how your presence makes them feel, but they don't really care much about you as a person or believe you have anything deeper to contribute. That's not much fun and I'm sorry you feel that way. It's the catch-22 of being a girl: if you dress up and look pretty, guys treat you like an ornament; if you dress down and look serious, guys treat you like a piece of furniture or like a mammy. The only solution is to have confidence in yourself and make your voice heard, and if you're not getting what you need from one professional situation then you have to be willing to leave.
Mae T there’s definitely truth to what she is saying. It’s harder to be appealing when you’re visually unappealing. Makes perfect sense. Not sure what you’re trying to accomplish by putting her down, but you and I both know just by looking at her DP that she looks amazing.
I need to set boundaries more, this can help me on dealing with all manipulative narcissist in my life. The one thing I hate though, when I disagree with their opinion they don't consider my aspect and look at my perspective or other people's perspective for that matter. I just wish more people would be open-minded.
he is basically a philosopher I usually don’t like these kind of videos because theyre often destructive in a sense but this is pure truth and energy I love it
Step 1 is so real. Can't tell you how many interviews I've had where the boss has stepped over the line with me and I've just let them cuz I wanted the job.
Sometimes when you set boundaries with people they freak out and go crazy at you. This is probably good because then you get away from those people, but be aware it can happen.
I think I screwed up my first impression with someone I admire when thought I was being nice, polite, and disarming. This was someone who's an inspiration in my chosen career path. Sadly, I don't think there's any way to fix it if I ever run into them again. And if I did run into them again, I have no idea what I would say to fix it, or even start over if they (hopefully) forgot who I am. This is someone I really wanted to call a friend in the future.
I like be how he ACTUALLY GIVES GENUINE INFORMATION. So many videos from other folks I come across have the “How to make everyone like you. The results will shock you!” scammy vibe and NEVER get to the point. So satisfying to actually get information.
your channel and advice are like the heaviest truck ever. It takes a lot of power and energy to start moving, but once it reaches 70km/h, it can no longer be stopped! The inertia is insane, your advice is honest, no cuts, to the point, no wasting time, and makes me think a lot which is good! I'm also very impressed that you have 1.4 million subs by making this kind of videos! You and what you are saying are almost everything in the video, which is NOT a bad thing!
Love your channel! Straight to the point, interesting, and fantastic advice. If you haven't already, you should make a video about you. You seem like an interesting guy and your videos have me wondering about your background. 😊
Brazilians through the media, schools and some social class are conditioning to tell terrible things about themselves, we grow up hearing that the other people's grass are greener than ours and bla bla bla. I used to be like that. I am glad I've changed.
I'm usually quite sceptical about these kinds of "Be Like this if You Want to Be Popular" channels, but my man... you are helping me and MANY others be themselves by explaining things in such simple, uplifting ways. I truly appreciate your work. Hope you have a nice day!
OMG thank you for making that statement about fake it till you make it. So many people don't understand that. About the first part though it's hard if your someone who is not easily offended. I know in my old job of 10 years, it took years for others in the workplace to explain to me why they felt that I was being harassed. I never really got it until new people started making a big deal about it.
Well true in that he was considered because of his attractiveness, but the offer would have been withdrawn at any time of he wasn't a confident and charismatic guy.
I mean he looks pretty confortable with himself and confident so that makes him seem more attractive, being into someone it's not always about looks, it really depends on the impression you get from the person.
@@vlc-cosplayer yeah that guy is delusional thinking his "confidence" was what won over that Brazilian girl. it was primarily looks, plus his US nationality, and his looks also resulted in his confidence. the confidence doesnt exist in a vacuum without something to back it up. because otherwise it'd just be called arrogance or creepiness and the girl would brush his advance off
In the first situation I have a perfect friend for this situation! He starts laughing his ass off as hard as no one can and his laugh is so funny so everyone in the room starts laughing without any purpose. It has saved an infinite amount of awkward moments!
The first date I went with my now husband I was being very polite and he wanted to know what I really thought, so he asked me, “ok tell me what you really think instead of being polite. What do you think of how I look?” And I remember thinking “ok you asked for it” and told him I thought it looked like he was wearing a step above pajamas and I wasn’t sure if I liked his beard. He then proceeded to cover up his beard and said “ok how about now?” I still wasn’t sure so he covered up his whole face and said “how about now?” And I joked “Ayyyy much better!” And he was so shocked and said “normally I would find this so insulting but your honesty and ability to be real is so amazing. I’ve never found someone like that” and to this day he tells me some of the things he loves most about me is how differently I think than him and he finds it fascinating and it can be really funny too. We have almost no hobbies in common but I’ve never been happier than with him as my husband.
Man, thank you so much. Your videos have been helping me at a moment of my life where social relationships are more important than ever. I take notes on your vids and they came really handy. Have a nice day/night and i hope you to grow even more on this platform.
One of the things I hated the most about dating, was the dishonesty. Men would say whatever they needed to trying to impress me, and would never disagree with me. It honestly drove me nuts, failed to create conversation and made them seem untrustworthy. I just wanted to have real conversation, with a real person.
I think that mindset of refusing to read is partially why you are dealing with social anxiety. I don't know about others, but whenever someone says "I'd rather kill myself" I just hand them a rope. They're not people I want in my life, especially if it is something as silly as simply reading a book.
wow, really blown away by your vids - what other youtubers try to convey in countless videos while not quit hitting the nail on the head, you get it done in one short video with excellent, thought provoking, genuine advice that we could all use. You are really great at what you do, thank you and keep up the great work :)
I really wanna know what this kids' background is. To have such an insightful outlook on the human animal in your 20's is a pretty rare thing, at least where I'm from.
Stand by your morals. Row with the flow. Genuine optimism. I was told I was charismatic, so I watched these videos. It's fun to hear interaction described.
The VP of my job got crazy with me in a meeting one time and I told him afterwards not to ever speak to me like that again or we wouldn't be speaking period... I remember he was like a deer in headlights and started profusely apologizing. That was about 3.5 years ago and we haven't had a problem since... it's ok to stand up for yourself.
Yes! Bullies prey on the weak and if you make it clear that's not you, they'll respect you and treat you better moving forward. If the boss just really enjoys the power trip and likes to be abusive, they might not clean up their act, but then you know there's nothing you can do to make them treat you better and you can make a decision from there i.e. you can quit.
My dad had this guy who wouldn't even say "Hey it's X, how are you" when he called, he'd just go right to it out of the blue. My dad was pissed and said "Alright, here's what's gonna happen. When you call me again, you say 'Hi, it's X, how's everything?' and then you can say whatever you want" - "What? You serious?" - "Let's try this again" hangs up* .... The guy calls again, now polite and they continue as normal. From then on he always did this, my grandma instantly knew when he was calling my dad because he was the only one he called like that.
This actually explains my life because I sometimes make good first impressions that I believe I had messed up. I tend to be overly honest and yet it impresses people. Like a date I went on to a fancy restaurant, I admitted I only brought her there because I had a gift card for the restaurant and she was actually very cool with that.
The problem with e.g. sexual abuse in the workplace is that it's so common and easy to disguise as a 'joke' or 'just a compliment' that people don't take it seriously. In addition, many guys who do that seem to think they have a right to, and you're in the wrong if you tell them off, and will get angry. What do you do if you make your boundary e.g. 'That comment is inappropriate, don't ever do it again', and it gets turned against you e.g. 'Amy can't take a joke' or the person (especially if they are a boss) becomes maliciously hostile towards you from then on? Can you please do a video on how to deal with seedy guys and sexual harassment in the workplace?
Jeb, is right, if a little blunt. I would leave the job. If you have to provide for someone I would talk to them before leaving, just say "hey my boss is verbally abusive and it's really really draining, we might have to make financial cut until I find something else." If it was ever physical abuse contact the police. Most likely they're hurting others and need to be taking out of social environments.
I think the second point is kinda off, its not about disagreeing or agreeing someone's opinion, but its more like dare to express your internal real thoughts to someone who you just met, where people not often do that much.
+Estuardo Valenzuela lol those are the things that he does, and that's not what I'm talking about. I just wanted him to do a vid on what makes James Bond so confident, charming, and alluring.
I am binge watching your videos after finding them. You are what 25? You are teaching a 55-year-old man a lot. You should be proud of that. I am highly amused. Kind of blows away the "kids today" crap that many middle-aged people throw out. My son is 12. I sure hope he grows up to be more like you than me. As for all the naysayers and jokers in the comments. You are just jealous at how much this young man has it together. You know it even if you are not willing to admit it. He is right. He is saying things I have known all my life but have not had the tools or knowledge to correct.
On the bright side, it will show you boss's true character, and if he is a knob then everyone will see it and everyone else in the room will respect you.
It's risky, but if the boss reacts poorly, things can only get worse for them. Standing your ground is universally respected, and attacking someone who stands their ground is universally disrespected.
The most important thing he said was: "I won't do that again." Had he not said that, the boss would've felt humiliated/challenged and would've thrown the guy out immediately. The guy managed to say what he doesn't like in a respectful manner. That's why it was a win.
He didn't shout he set a firm boundary. Its called nescessary conflict. Without it society would become full of sociopaths as consequences for actions would die out.
I've thought this before but I will finally say it. You need to modify your intros and conclusions. For example. This video was about "3 mistakes". These three talking points need to specifically be called out in a short intro and a short conclusion, besides of course the body. You need to briefly address each mistake specifically in the intro. Just one sentence for each. This way the viewer will know they are hearing important information when they get to the "body" of your video. They will think "this was mentioned in the intro, this is important, this I will remember this". Do the same for your conclusions. Briefly reiterate each of the three topics, given each just one sentence. This will remind the viewer what they watched and what they need to commit to memory. Now they've heard it mentioned in the intro, they heard it described in the body, and they are reminded of its importance in the conclusion. Its been repeated, it must be important. You have to face the sad fact that no matter how great your content is, the high majority of your viewers will only absorb a small percentage of the information. If you can't find a way to condense your ideas into one sentence talking points, viewers will likely forget much of what you said, even if they found it very interesting while they were watching. Your viewers are youtube users. They've watched half a dozen videos before yours and will watch half a dozen after. Your content could be gold but the it is competing with too much other information that is also gold. The brain is struggling to determine what is worth committing to memory. It's cue to commit to memory is repetition. Intro. body. conclusion. they all need the same three talking points. intro. body. conclusion.
From my college speaking class many years ago, only one technique has stuck with me ... "Tell them what you're going to tell them; Tell them; then Tell them what you told them".
His eyes are too far apart and idk his smile is too big maybe? He just looks odd. Like some aliens who recreated the perfect human being. Not denying hes good looking though
buncha haters, he is very attractive, nice big smile, ability to use critical thoughts, and his eyes are affable and focused. dunno why the haters are lying about his features, he has a golden ration face and the dimples...BOOM.
Great video. As a guy has commented here, being honest is the key. I always like to express my honest view about some point and I don't avoid to disagree. The person has to get to know me properly, including my opinion and personal perspective.
