3 Crucial Questions to Ask Before Marriage | Michael Bungay Stanier 

Oh my goodness, you’re ME!! I think exactly the same and my mission is also to help animals!

Love is a choice, it's an action. it's not a feeling once you get past the limerence stage.

@@ElimEx1 great platitude 😀 (I hope I didn’t upset you 😀)

@@ElimEx1 think a little to see were you’re wrong 😀

@@MIHAELABURLANESCU I'm not wrong. Every single relationship experts will tell you the same. The feeling of love is hormonal and doesn't last. It is replaced by other feelings just as fleeting. What people call love it in actuality, limerence. Every therapist in the world will tell you that. After a while, you choose the person you are with, not based on hormones but based on facts. Can I build a future. Will this person be safe (safety is a huge factor for women). Will this person share my values and my goals. Those are not based on irrational hormonal decisions and impulses. Those are considered thoughts. This is why so many couples don't make it past the initial hormonal surges. It's also a big factor in the 3-5-7 year "itches". At each of those stages, a different set of habits sets in and it's the approximation of when, in most people, some of the feelings disappear to be replaced by logic. It's also when, for some people who experienced trauma, the "fight or flight" instinct kicks in. When those people don't have proper coping mechanisms, they have affairs or turn to some form of substance abuse. Alchohol, chemical or otherwise (food, sugar, carbs, etc). I would highly recommend to you the works of Esther Perel, especially Mating in Captivity and a book by someone else whose name I don't remember called Come as you are.

Thank you!!

Everyone is different. For me, I would have liked my wife to priortized first herself, then the relationship, then the marriage (those are 2 separate things), then her work/passions and finally the kids. I think that's the healthiest and it's a great model for the kids. Didn't happen this way and i love my wife for who she is. Best answer I can give you is, let everyone be their authentic self and learn to love them for who they are, not who they could be.

You don't always know how you're going to react to something that comes along in life. Sometimes you and your partner disagree on how to respond to a situation and so it's impossible to always live in harmony.

Yes thats true but if you meet someone calm it works better

Never be with a guy who ia commited to another never be second best you are worth so much more ladies:)

You can not live in "harmony" without experiencing turmoil. To be in a constant state of turmoil is insanity. No one wants that. However, it's how you will face that turmoil either together, or alone.

I think he forgot

I’m curious- can we get the name of the book and read it or just have the other 2 questions placed in a link?

1. how will we fix it when things go wrong? 2. Would you be open to going to therapy in the beginning of the relationship to create boundaries, agreements and commitments with 3rd party help. 3. What are your practices, preferences and priorities?

I know many like this...

@@ADifferentVibeI’ve NEVER met a decently happy couple 😂😂😂 they all hate each other

🙌