I came back to comment because I was skeptical that the advice you gave in the video would work. I definitely thought I was already giving clear directions, but I was actually making statements. Over the last week, I’ve been giving clear, timestamped directions in a firm voice and it’s been effective at least 95% of the time. Thank you!
I’m 70, a Gma, I wish my Parents had cared enough to direct me this throughly. I’m watching and have forwarded these to my daughter who is home schooling a 7 yr. old. You had me at “don’t tell the kid he’s smart, he must learn to read and think, It’s a process we all had to go thru.
I use to be so embarrassed to take my kids to the park because i knew when i said “it’s time to go” they would complain or get loud and cry. For the past couple of years when we arrive at the park, I remind them and say. “Okay, when I say 5 more minutes! it means its almost time to go. And it’s works so well. They even come back to me and say 4 more minutes 3,2,1 and no crying or complaining. It works!! It took a few times of doing this until they got it. So don’t give up. Just keep doing it.
I got the shit beat out of me a few times and then I’d learn whatever my parents wanted me to learn. So doing it a different way feels like I’m walking around blind. So grateful to have this lesson here. I’ll try on the playground tomorrow! 😅
Omg this works!! 😮😮😮 the key thing I keep forgetting is getting to eye level and touching my tiny toddragon. When I do that, it works like magic! Thank you so much! ❤❤❤
I've decided that part of your effectiveness with kids is your bright engaging eyes. Great Vid! I got this tip from one of your shorts - make both decisions result in the outcome you want - thank you!
For leaving the park, I give a pre-talk. We will be here for 1 hour. Then I tell them 30 > 15 > 10 > 5 > 1 min left. Give them one last chance to go down the slide and then it's time to go. Hold their hand and redirect them to getting enthusiastic about the next activity, usually lunch or snack time. Also, actively play with them if there's no other kids their age. Now for vegetables, I believe it's important to have them try a little of everything. They don't have to finish it. If you left it up to them, you'd have kids that just refuse to eat vegetables all together. I know several grown men like this. Sometimes it helps to go back to the drawing board on how a vegetable is cooked/presented. Seasoned and roasted is often tastier than boiled or even steamed. And sometimes you can "hide" pureed veggies in other dishes, especially ones with sauces. Get creative.
This is also what I do, pre talks always work for every situation. I got my kid into kindergarten without crying and happy to enter the classroom with no hesitation, the teacher told us he had a great time and also he was ready to go to school next day and the following. It works with the park, with whichever games he's into, even with watching tv we set times and let him know whenever something is ''the last chance, the last piece, or the last whatever''. They understand and stop acting against directions.
I get good results with my children this way too. My eldest already has an internal clock to the 10 & 5 min marks. There are a few times I forgot to set my watch and he would ask if they still had 5 mins left or walked over to me ready to leave since the time was up… and I’m the one who forgot or got into a conversation with another parent. Giving them directions on what to expect and what comes next definitely makes transitions easier and avoids a fight or tantrums. I also sauté vegetables with seasoning and just enough water to get them tender to a texture they’ll like. My grandmother cooked vegetables with nearly every meal and introduced me to many varieties. I love them and make sure to introduce my babies to many varieties as well. They eat broccoli, asparagus, spinach, cabbage, eggplant, chayote, and many others.
Excellent video!! We had a brilliant part-time nanny for one of my kids for a time and she taught me a fantastic tip. Give them heads up: we have 5 minutes then we will... . When times comes tell them it's time to ... And then count them off: I'm going to count to 3 and you will get into the car/put shoes on/ go brush your teeth. Then you count loudly and slowly. I don't know what magic happens but kids start moving and doing and usually get whatever it is done by 2. If they get to 3 (that's so extremely rate that I only remember it happening twice) you say - you lose. :) at which point they scramble to finish even faster. Of course when they finish before the count is out - you have to say WELL DONE! i don't know how but this works. The main trick is to keep it positive! It's a fun drill, there's nothing impressive about it and there's never a punishment. It's a little hurry up magic tip.
I don’t have any kids and im not a teacher but i still want to learn these things because i think its important to know this stuff. Sometimes i am put in charge of children and i have no idea how to get them to do stuff they aren’t interested in. Don’t want the lids to learn that im the pushover adult that lets them do whatever. Thanks for your tips! They are very helpful!
1. For moving from a preferred activity to a less preferred one I give a 2 minute warning. 2. In my videos you can see my barely 2 year old sounding out "cat". He previously did it independently & surprised us so we've continued doing it with mastered letters!
I just want to thank you for these videos. When I was a 1st time mom I had no one to helped so I reached out to parent classes books and even when I was breast feeding I joined support groups to learn. I am a person who doesn't want to follow how I was raised which was a very bad abusive emotional and physical childhood. Do I try my best for my kids. I always feel "what can I do better, what am I doing wrong" so learning more is so helpful especially in Non judgement areas. I've been told "oh your kids are spoiled you should spank" nope I don't believe in that nor do I yell. I teach them to express and use words so I can raise children that know to communicate. So watching your teaching videos are so helpful I thank you!!!
lol self control really. My mom was a yeller and I became one. I now try to have self control when I hear my voice go up and I have to remind myself that my kids are not deaf lol
Well done, yet again!! It is never too late to start giving clear directions and children will respond, although they may try to get you to be more flexible, stand your ground. I believe getting anyone to follow your directions begins with your mind set. If you have the attitude that you expect your directions to be listened to and followed they usually are. The sooner you establish who is in charge the better and it makes for a more positive relationship with your children. You don't need to be mean, just firm.
I have 5 kids and often teach other children. You know another tip that gets their attention every time and helps them want to obey? SING your instructions. Works EVERY time.
I have an almost 3 year old son and I’ve been using this advice for the past 2 days, and I’m so happy to say that it’s extremely effective!!! This is what I’ve been looking for, I knew that my son wasn’t just “bad” he just needs the right guidance from me. I’m sharing this with everyone. Thank you so much.
While I disagree with the "finish your broccoli" statement, Dude you need to go on a Nationwide Campaign spreading these truths to parents everywhere.❤
When mine was a toddler, bed time used to be a struggle. I didn't get to watch my mother dealing with any young ones or other women. I would say phrases like time to go to sleep etc. after we were in bed, with lights off. One day as usual I was imploring her go to sleep, close your eyes but none worked. Then I said, 'put your head down on the pillow'. That worked! 😅 And worked consistently every night. 'Go to sleep ' was probably too subjective. 'Close your eyes' could be done while standing at the window sill in the dark. 'Put your head on the pillow' takes you a step closer to falling asleep. And is a clear direction. And it worked for an already tired child! It felt like i made a discovery that night lol
Haha yeeeea so is my almost 4 year old daughter! Like “ok hold on I’m just doing something right now…” I give her a second and then I remind her of what she has been gently instructed to do :) she used to try to milk it but I simply explained she was being disrespectful and explained what disrespect is and so on… we live by God’s Word so she quickly reconsidered her poor decisions 🙌🏽
@@Mt4evr that’s fair and just remember everyone is different:) In my case, I explain how I feel to her. If her disrespect made me sad or a little angry, etc. Disrespect is when a boundary or line is crossed. I am here adult. I am responsible for her. I am the authority figure. Mommy and daddy are the leaders. There is a time for the child to be the leader, but right now is not that time. Something along those lines may work. Or perhaps role reversal/role play. That is fun most times! I even incorporate these lessons and experiences in story time. We are a very honest family, so keeping it real works best for us. I hope this helps! If not, pray about it :) Father has ALL the answers!
Second video with you @ToddlersCanRead -- yes, there is a flow or rhythm to the direction; execution requires clarity on the part of who is asking. Like an extension of the confidence that kids ask for things, except with us, we include the fork-in-the-road Question at the end of what we're stating. And it needs to be streamlined to fly as intended. Thanks again for sharing the wisdom and love.
U are such a blessing. You make this so easy. Love how u break it down and make it clear. Having clear directions is what I need for my autistic son. I am somewhat all over the place. So thank you. Will be practing this tip. We got this. Thanks for your help.
You're a good teacher, this is exactly the way to go. I've been giving directions ever since I first heard about it a few years ago, and let me tell you, it works (like mostly) 😅 There will be days when my kids are but nah, I don't want to, I'll explain them why it has to be and what the (actual !!!!) consequences are when they don't do it. at the latest it works out then. Like for example: If you don't wear a jacket you're probably gonna get cold. The bonus is, my kids know I am reliable. I hope this stays that way for a long long time ☺ I can't wait for puberty when probably everything will go downhill 🤣
Had to come back to say I definitely tried this; questions vs statements, and I see a big difference in my girls. They are still defiant sometimes but way less than in the past and getting better everyday. This was really good advice.
Shared this video with my brother cause he's a question asker with his kid. So thank you! What do you do when the direction is ignored? Any good disciplinary tips once that bridge is crossed?
If they don't listen, or they pitch a fit, how do you handle that? What makes them feel compelled to listen to you? Asking because I spend time watching my nieces and nephew and 2 of them don't listen.
I have to admit, I did not even think to myself, my grandson and I have these problems, maybe Ia doing 1 of these things described. Even by 5:48, I still didn't think I was in any of the categories you mentioned, it took me that long to think, duh, maybe you need to AT LEAST observe yourself to see what I MAY BE DOING to cause confusion. I do think I confuse him!!! AT LEAST OBSERVE OURSELVES, THE LEAST WE CAN DO!. Very least!
I'm still working on being a parent... I have a tod and now a newborn 🤦♀️. I always catch myself asking questions... Then i have to rephrase my commands.
Super good video, love the way you teach bro, never stop! I know im off topic, but i just wanted to know, what kind of microphone did you use to record this? The audio its amazing! Thank you!
Thank you for this, exactly what I needed to learn! Question, how does this work when you are trying to get your kid to stop doing something you don't want them to do, rather than directing them to do something you do? Looking forward to learning more from you ✌️
Emma Hubbard has a video for this but it's been awhile, and I don't remember the title. She says that instead of simply telling them to not do something, tell them what to do. For instance, if they are throwing their food at dinner, say something like, "leave your food in your plate, unless you are taking a bite. Food is for eating." I hope this helps. Not sure if this is quite what you are looking for or not 😅
This is great! Thank you for sharing! I saw a clip of you using sound cards/blending, do you have a suggestion on a product? I have a young toddler I would like to get started with teaching how to read but there are so many products out there. Thank you in advance! ❤
Back in Asia my mother would slap me and drag me through the dirt to take me home. And guess what next time she says time to go home I go home. 😂 no questions asked no suggestions made, I love her she loves me.
@@Yomommasboyfriendson on the contrary 9/10 kids are well behaved and well mannered. They remember the shoes sandals and belts which they ate in childhood.
Seconding this question. Getting used to eating well, varied, and what is served is "important" I think. Is it not worthy of direction, then? If not, why? A suggestion in our home typically leads to, "hmm, no, I'd rather have ice cream".
Because you’re being demanding when you need to understand even though they are kids they are human and they may not like broccoli and have preferences, how would you like to be told to eat something you don’t like? It’s all about learning your child and giving them options to try other things they might enjoy. Also not only does it sound demanding and forceful but that’s not going to give you any results because you’re asking them to do something you know you’re going to fail simply because you do not understand your child.
I think that trying to force kids to finish their food often leads to worse eating habits or even eating disorders. I was told that whatever was on my plate I had to finish. Which leads to a grown up who’s conditioned to clean the plate, even when full. Don’t want to be wasteful. Instead gain weight, feel uncomfortable, and lessen the (totally unnecessary) guilt for leaving food on the plate 🫤 I always encouraged my now adult son to at least try everything. But damn he was the pickiest eater and no amount of threats would make him eat something he didn’t want. He didn’t like ground beef, nothing white, most veggies, no lettuce. He was still healthy. It all worked out as he grew up. he moved out on his own and had roommates of a different culture and was eager to do new things. Now he eats more types of food than even I like.
@@Ronni31 I'm so glad that worked out with your son! I too was raised to clear my plate, it has made it extremely difficult for me to stop eating when I am full. I was struggling to finish one time, and my husband said, "you know you don't have to eat all the food, right?" It was like a light bulb moment haha. I no longer feel guilty for leaving food on my plate, but it's still hard to stop eating. My husband and make sure our kids try everything, but if they don't like it, they don't have to eat it. I think when kids are a little older, maybe it's ok to teach them that sometimes we do eat food that we don't like, but seems unnecessary to try that with a toddler
my toddlers used to follow directions because I was really good at getting them to do what they had to do Do you have advice for teenagers though? Because they don't listen to me at all now that they are grown up hahahaha it is a constant battle, they are way worse than toddlers
Relevant for age of kid too. Younger need more time to process the fact that they need to go home in 10/5/1 minute. Vs older kids can process, pick one last thing you want to do and we are leaving or we are living soon let’s go lol
I love your videos and your tips! But I have to disagree on one small point - Why is telling them to finish their broccoli not appropriate ? Eating veggies matters. Nutrition and food matter too. If you can be direct in some situations where it matters what’s the harm in telling them directly to eat foods that are good for them instead of leaving them the option to say no? (Rhetorical question )
Eventually they will eat. Please don't push food. I was nice and thin. Dr told parents to give me milk shake and I became overweight. Give them healthy food and eventually they eat. Don't substitute junk food
Made them super yummy, peanut butter and jelly(dates) tasting, chocolate cherry, etc. They all (4 kids) enjoyed drinking them and I didn't have to worry about fruit veggies or protein intake
Do not listen to people who say eventually your child will eat! You never should do the wait and see approach there are so many good pages on Instagram with great tips! The mini me dietitian she’s great! And then explore early intervention as well it’s free for all kids 3 and under maybe even older than 3 depending on where you live ☺️☺️ my child went through this and I trusted my gut instead of listening to people say one day he will eat, now he has a waaay better relationship with food! You got this mama💖💖
Your parenting has to grow with them. Be consistent and change the consequences to be appropriate for them. My husband’s parents knew that the worst consequences for him was being grounded because he was a social child where as with me i was a loner so that wouldn’t work with me i just got a spanking and with my brother he got video games taken away. My 10 year old nephew also does best when screens are taken away until he does what he was told.
Hello I have a beautiful daughter who is 10 years old she cannot read fluently please I am reaching out out to you for some help she has a tutor but she cannot fluently read she makes the correct sounds to the letters however she does not blend and put the letters together to make a word she is going into 4th grade and I need her to be able to read before the summer is over is there any suggestions that you have I am open for anything please help me desperate desperate mom I had them hold her back in the first grade cuz I knew something was wrong then since then I have been begging her teachers for more guidance and I have been getting zilch in help fourth grade is a very pivotal year in your educational jourday I know this because number one I had the same issues when she was little I failed 4th grade however I didn't have anybody to advocate for me or be my voice she does I have her a tutor that all I can afford is for her to come one hour a day three times a week I am trying to get grants to put her in private school but I need her to be able to read before school starts
Hi there, I recommend assessing her skills and then learning how to teach those skills at home. I have lots of resources to help you to help her here: www.toddlersread.com/
Lots of variety! Give them a plate full of color and options at dinner and try to get them to take a bite of everything but dont stress it too much. Its there if they’re hungry and if not you’re not going to make them anything else. Also try to limit their snacks during the day.
Yes but what about this kids that hate control, even hate to be a child because he feels parents or teachers are controlling all his life and he can't be himself. He has options but some kiddos question everything, don't like to be followers and and not easy going in a way that they want to be them.
