3 Things INFJs Excel At 

I'm a total INFJ, but am Not an academic. I don't understand all the heavy jargon, unfortunately.

Yes. Yes. And definitely yes. Plus, the camel 🐪 really gets me 😂 For impartial advice, I've learned to start with a disclaimer of "This is not a reflection of my personal thoughts, impressions, feelings, about you. I have no attachment to what I am about to say. I am saying this as objectively as possible as if I was just a person observing (behavior/attitude/maladaptive cognition) so please don't take this as if I personally feel this way. I am simple observing this pattern and wish to share it with so you may do what you wish with it..." In my therapy practice as a psychotherapist , I "collect" and "hold" the not so savory parts about the person and focus mostly on the persons desires, aspirations, and psychological/emotional pains. Then over time as we build a sense of trust and honesty between each other I ask questions to infer unsavory bits. This differs from a more direct and blunt approach previously mentioned which I primarily use with the closest people in my life. Learning to find that balance is a struggle because I always fear hurting the person albeit not telling the truth as to how I see a situation or them existing in the world. I am quite loyal and have experienced pretty hard betrayal quite a few times, but I have been accused of "forgetting" about my friends. My philosophy has always been "I'm here when you need or want me" kind of like an open door policy. For some personality types that works and for others that didn't and they are no longer in my life... rightfully so. And I still find your book a breath of fresh air, inspiring, and comforting.

We can also keep a secret and be mean and nice at the same time.

Not being able to stay in touch is still a VERY sore spot for me.

Another good video, Ren 👍🏻 Jargon is a great short cut that saves a lot of time. As you know, I'm not an academic, but if I see someone implementing jargon in a seemingly useful way I will at least be intrigued about the meaning behind it. Often there is a lengthy proof or whole concept or theory behind one word of jargon and if more than one person understands the term it becomes a short-hand that can be dropped into a broader discussion without lengthy explanation and rehashing. I think many extraverted judgers can at least appreciate the efficiency of this.

I am slowly reading your book. I actually had to start over because I wasn't prepared how technical it was going to be. Given how active my mind is, I realized I have to be in a certain mindset to read it and give myself time to process what I just read. Whenever I start a book, the process starts off slow until I can get into it. I plan to finish the book but I know this one will take time.

Have you considered making a video showcasing the distinctions between INFJs and ISFJs? There are a lot of similarities with them both having a function stack of [Introverted Perceiving] / FE / TI / [Extroverted Perceiving]. For me personally, I’ve thought of myself as probably an INFJ for quite a while, but I’ve never been sure (although I suppose that is common 😅). I believe that I’ve narrowed it down to INFJ and ISFJ. Both NI and SI seem to be very abstract and highly subjective. I greatly struggle with self-evaluation, and I cannot determine if I am primarily sensing or primarily intuiting.

Yeah! I agree with these! The advice thing reminded me of someone recently who I gave advice to, but she didn’t like that I told her something she didn’t want to hear. I'm always open to new philosophical ideas, and I am a very loyal friend. Great assessment, Ren! 😊

Happy New Year Ren ☺️✨ I agree with all the points covered in the video. As an INFJ, when it comes to loyalty, I'll be there for the people I care for, no matter what, as long as they have no ill intentions towards me.

I notice that Si users tend to be really loyal too. So loyalty probably has to do with both Ni and Si, aka the introverted perceiving functions. Which's main function in a way is to keep things organised, orderly and predictable. And staying loyal goes hand in hand with this type of need.

Appreciated and seeing miraculous things like what an aware NPD person can do. Thank you.

Great material here. Number 3 isn’t landing as well with me though, especially when you take Ni banishment into account. I think Fi is deeply loyal in the more stereotypical sense. Fi users are more inclined to trust their feelings without need for justification and often make and prioritize connections based on points of similarity. The resonance Fi can experience with another is hard to override.

I'm 35 years old. When I was 15, I met this girl that I got along with so well. I only knew her for three months before I had to move and we lost touch. It's been 20 years and I still miss her. I hope she's doing well. (I'm INFJ)

Great video. Agree with it all, although I didn’t consider INTJ as necessarily loyal. Some of them are pretty ruthless, but maybe that’s unhealthy ones or those with a personality disorder. Wrt the giving advice, yes our natural detachment can be very useful here. I can totally imagine us being able to give advice for others which we believe is likely to suit them, even if it would make no sense for us.

(INFP) I am definitely not someone who gives impartial advice. I would say I give interpretations of what I think is likely going on, especially if it’s an area I have Personally navigated in my life already (“in this situation, this is what this person prioritizes and wants, and this is what the other person prioritizes and wants). Instead of taking a step back, and seeing multiple perspectives that Ni is able to, Fi tends to step deeper into a more first person perspective. Fi wants to make everything more personally meaningful. The more fully present I am with another, the more of my pool of experiences I am bringing to the surface of consciousness, and the more connected I’ll feel with the person sharing what is going on with them, trusting me to be a safe space (In those moments, I am feeling a very deep love and warmth for the person sharing). I am way better at offering input with one-on-one interactions going on between individuals, rather than seeing the larger systemic picture.

I think to understand what the frick you or anyone else is talking about I'm going to have to do a deep dive on the Myers Brigs personality type thing and right now I am embroiled in spiritual warfare and that is not a euphemism. Oh well, after this battle is over and I hopefully emerge the victor, otherwise I'll be dust.

Hi Ren. It is snowing in Montreal, Miracle of Miracles !! When I finished my double Bachelors (religion/theology) certain professors lobbied me to enter the Masters of Theology. Which I did get into. BUT, on my very first Masters "Class" my peers became like God's. I became an outsider, because homosexuals could not study religion and theology and be right with God, in many of their eyes. It was like witnessing "The Masters of the Universe, slapping each other on the back, and the pissing contests began in earnest." Things got very technical and the style of writing I was used to, no longer cut it. Almost a year in, I had failed the "No (2 C) rule." And as fast as I was lobbied in - The door to my Masters Future was summarily slammed shut in my face. I could not, for the life of me, get the hang of what I was supposed to do !! I've spent the intervening years studying on my own, honing my technical skills, ever so slowly. Most of my productive adult life was spent in the rooms of a sober fellowship. One did not "Give" advice. One had to speak in parables, with a soft voice, to speak of experience, and NEVER give another sober person direct advice on what to do with their lives, because all they ever wanted was for you to commiserate in their misery. In sobriety, you judged your progress against the state of the Elders who were much more sober than you were. Never Ever, call someone out on their bullshit, lies, and deceit. Because Bill placed certain "Get out of Jail Free Cards" in the Big Book. I sat and listened for more years than I care to mention, and never did I ever hear someone with more time than me say anything productive or helpful. And at that point I began to speak my mind. I became very outspoken in my community, for my "No nonsense No bullshit" approach. I figured If I said something wrong, someone would eventually tell me to sit down and shut up. NOPE !! At twenty years, I realized I knew too much, had seen too much, had felt too much, and had been humiliated and ignored enough. I took my chip, I told an entire room of people what I thought about their bullshit and called them all douchebags, picked up my rucksack and left, and never returned. (now 3 years ago). My Spidey Senses perked up at the very beginning of my sober journey, and when I look back on it now as an INFJ, I can see I had those gifts all along, damn, if I could have had this information then !! I am very loyal to my friends, and I would never turn my back on any of them. But people who were semi, superficially my friends had no problem stabbing me in the back and just fucking off on me, without a goodbye or a why??? I don't understand sober people. Unless you remain a sheep and shut up, people like you. BUT if you speak and say something that rubs them the wrong way, or calls out their bullshit, they had no problem dropping me on the curb. I am loyal up to a point. Don't blow me off. Don't lie to me. And don't Ghost me either. I may be loyal to you, but if you break any of my cardinal NO NO's, you are toast. Plain and Simple. I have grown weary of trying to be friends with people who want to sit in their shit and play with it. I am too old and too wise for my own good, I think, maybe I am wrong, but it is what it is, yes ??