Yes, after investing seven months into a friendship and I finally totally opened up, now they don't want to be friends because "I am not what they thought I was"😢 I thought they were more Open minded...
I’ve joined causes, but now my calling is myself….acknowledging my childhood trauma, understanding my triggers which now i see really affected my life, I’m no longer pretending to be ok, I see no solution except understanding myself, that alone frees me from confusion. It’s been helpful to learn about being an INFJ, that there are others is comforting.
It's the "J" in us, seriously most "P" personalities really just don't care about doing things all the time that are productive. It's confusing but normal for them.
Right? I've always done this thing where I get ardently obsessed with something that I think must be my calling (often something unrealistic), and then I put immense amounts of pressure on myself to achieve said goal, and end up causing myself to burn out and quit trying when the task becomes too much to realistically handle. I feel like I have a hard time with failure too, so it makes failing at whatever I had set out to do twice as difficult. (Sorry, I didn't mean for that to turn into a vent, lmao)
same! I relate to this a lot. And yet still plagued by this old "callings" that I never seemed to be able to materialize... even though I could also not totally muster the long-game part of making them come together. It it's a calling, shouldn't I love it and just do it and not overthink it, and it would just happen easily? haha @@LoosingmyWilltolive
Way too real. I'm procrastinating as we speak but my mind neverendingly tells me to snap out of it, to stop self-sabotaging and get my shit done so I could have another meaningful day. I'm always in a constant state of 'I have to do something to collect merits so that I can be somebody one day,' but it's just so hard to do that I give up altogether. But my mind never stops scolding me 😂 It's so exhausting to live with two contradicting minds at once
Thinking in symbols is very true...I think it's a great way to explain something but most people would probably just want me to tell things as they are...can't do that unfortunately 😬
Damnnnnnnn. Exactlyy it happens with me a lot. I have a hard time criticizing people so I try to give imaginary examples , which i think will make them understand but it makes them even more curious about what is actually going in my mind about them
I also thought this way for a long time but some of my friends I made are not like that lol. Actually MOST of them ARE like that though. The couple that are not confuse me but are still good people so we get along
Like, what's the point in being born? Suffering?(Apart from a few things tho)you have to have some kind of calling ryt, WTH. Like, be recognised for atleast 1 single thing yall
We learn from an early age that people don't quite understand our thoughts and feelings and would only consider sharing with people we trust or consider wise and even then we don't tell them everything.
@@squadsightU r saying it opposite.. U r the blind one, not infjs.. Most ppl think surface level, infjs can visualise beyond.. Have a very broad open mind.
@@moonchild6952 LOL. I was talking about the author. Not INFJs. The girl has no clue what she talking about. Just a youngling who thinks knows the subject but she doesn't. I actually saying what you are pointing out how bad is the post. Cheers! I am a 50yo INFJ so I think I know what I am talking about... LOL see my other comment below, I referring to the girl who posted this nonsense.
@@squadsight limited knowledge? They simply choose not to say some random and stupid idea. It’s different. That’s why they’re one of the most intelligent.
@@Kate98755me too but i'm an enfp :)) sometimes it's hard to describe exactly what you want to describe with the accurate intensity while an analogie or a metaphore is perfect 😭❤️
Same 😂 its so funny though, because people are so confused what in the hell am i saying which has made me learn i need better communication skills so hopefully my ideas and thoughts can be understood or even considered or heard at all 😂 i previously just thought everyone else was dumb, but if no one understands me......clearly i am doing smt wrong 😂
@@ghostsheet777 The world is mostly sensors, intuitives understand sensors but sensors don't understand intuitives. And you are right, they aren't necessarily dumb, but have a different type of intelligence.
Well as an INFJ, most INFPs think they understand me, they'll tell me what they believe, they'll get it wrong, so they'll ask questions to find out more, then end up not being able to understand. Then they'll spend years thinking over that, come back to me and tell me they figured that out about me, and still didn't understand. Mainly, those INFPs don't because it would mean they are wrong about this they deeply believe and feel were true. To come to an understanding about me and truth, they would have to admit they were wrong and they don't want to, therfore it results in never being able to understand yet unable to prove me wrong. Yet, a few, such as my INFP, is open minded and willing to admit and confront even the most negative things about anything and anyone, even themselves. Therfore they're able to understand. It just depends who cares enough to take the time, put in the effort and also willing to admit they could and at times were wrong to come to the truth to be able to understand anyone or anything.
@@VYMQGSOHI am an INFP and I attempt to understand people by staying quiet or asking questions, but I will then not say I’m trying to understand them because I might get something wrong and then my anxiety will kick and I’ll start having an invisible mental breakdown. (An invisible mental breakdown is when I am having a mental breakdown but no one realizes I’m panicking.) I listen to what people say and I don’t talk much, people often also say they understand me, especially my ISFP mother, but they never actually do. I’m not saying I understand you because I have never spoken to you so I no nothing about you and everyone has different experiences in life, I’m just trying to say I can relate. Anyway, please try to have a great day and stay safe ❤ -An INFP that doesn’t know how to write a short comment
@@VYMQGSOH Why would INFP’s tend to not admit to themselves when they’re wrong about something? Refining one’s own personal values I’d imagine requires deep curiosity, both intellectual and emotional, of opposing values. For example, as an INFP (and maybe other types can relate), sometimes my daydreams lead me to putting myself vividly in the shoes of people who society would deem evil; I can feel the pleasure and release of doing heinous things, while at the same time holding my own feelings of disgust and intense anguish or contempt, as if I were being forced to be co-conscience in that other person’s body and mind. I have an intense curiosity about others’ mindsets (both from real people and theoretical entities), and pulling from it the truths that could balance out my own naivety. Are most INFPs not like this, in your experience, or do you find that this way of relating to others (trying to take in as much knowledge as possible about someone’s attitudes, values, and motives, then trying to recreate them in the imagination), a really ineffective way to truly understand someone? How do you go about truly understanding someone?
I feel like this is true for certain kinds of INFJs. Not all INFJs are so mystical. They could think in symbols but not necessarily verbalise them or just see them as part of their thinking. They can think there are several thigs they could do, not necessarily have one calling, and other types can also believe they have a calling... Some INFJs would really relate to that, but I think it would be better if we become more open to various versions of every type (like Dario Nardi's research suggests)...
Im INFJ but I never thought about a hole in the ocean 😂 but my friends commented that Im a deep thinker... Im always asking about the purpose of life, what comes after death, whats the meaning of working my entire life and just dying of old age... something like that.
I hate how society has become all about moral relativism. The "do as you please" and "what feels right for you"... I can't stand it. 😅 People seem to have forgotten that Evil is a real thing and Truth is singular. Saying it annoys me is an understatement, because it's how most people need to respond to me all the time when I give them my moral stance on things. The everybody has there own truth bullshit. I think most people don't even remember such words as morality or ethics even exits. I used to just back off during those conversations, but the older I become the less I am able to. Sure do whatever the heck you think is good for you, but I will make a remark about how moral relativism is bringing humanity nowhere. I still will be kind. I will say it and combine it with a joke. I still try to shift peoples perspectives with patience, but honestly, that patience is wearing thin more and more. Moral relativist cannot be trusted, they cannot put word and action close enough together to do anything truly dignified. They have no true honor and they dont even know it. What is crazy is that everyone seems to be one nowadays. Its a hidden plague
I feel you, deeply. There is only one truth. And many comfortable lies. The truth doesn't care how anyone would like it to be. I can't understand how people take themselves so seriously that they interpret their own truth.
One of the few sane comments I have ever seen on the Internet. We are at our technological best but our moral and ethical worst ever. Ancient book says: it does not belong to man who is walking to direct even his own steps.
lol this is true. I think in energy/feelings and symbols. Sometimes it’s difficult to articulate my thoughts. Even repeating what I read is hard because I feel the words as emotion not memorize how to repeat it.
Wow! I have never thought about the repeating what I read thing. I thought I was just not as bright as I thought I was. But that is so true! I clearly know how the words made me feel. 🤯
Yes, because word is sound and sound is energy and emotion is energy in motion...energy is only one and is constantly transforming and transmuting its form...it is Law of Nature, basic physics...how things works, so it is part of every single thing around you and in you. ❤
As an INFJ, I completely relate to the first thing. However, I understand that it’s not necessarily how most or even how many might think. For the last two (and all of them, really), I don’t really have any expectation that others will (or even should) see them similarly to how I may see them. I think that’s one other trait of many who consider themselves to be INFJs. In many cases, we’ve long figured out that our whole way of seeing/perceiving/processing is quite different from others around us and not only have many of us become used to this, we’ve also embraced this about ourselves and don’t really feel like people should see/perceive/process in the ways that we might.
I used to think like this, now I just want a quiet fishing spot in the wilderness. There is nothing wrong with not having a calling in life and there is nothing wrong with having a calling 😊
The best example of this was when I was in Jr High my best friend would ask how I was feeling and some days I felt like a crumpled piece of paper. There was no other way to describe it. Other days felt smooth and light. My friend totally understood though so I didn’t think it was abnormal. Even if it was weird, weird is normal. Everyone is weird in their own ways. Some people just try to cover up their quirks, but we’re all a little quirky somehow.
ENFP/J here (Ne Fe). I relate to all of those. One of the moral things I've figured out is that kids need to be treated with respect, even when they're acting like kids. I'm making a school where they're treated with that respect. Other schools that have done it found students graduate without reading disorders or learning disabilities, have an 80% college graduation rate, know how to analyze ethical issues, have great social skills, love learning, and go on to lead happy lives. So worth it! One example of a school that does this is Sudbury Valley School in Massachusetts. It has been succeeding for over 50 years.
@@Heart.headedI see it as Te informing F. I already knew from F that kids needed to be loved infinitely. Now Te is informing me how to act on that. I would be interested in a debate on whether I'm an ENTP or not, though. Sure doesn't help my case about being an ENFP, but it could be fun! I don't see messages on RU-vid much, but if you have PDB, I'm ColumbusD'Amore, if you want to have that conversation.
I completely agree with you about treating kids with respect! I hav enever heard of anyone say it, but I see how treating kids harshly or like less than an adult is really harmful, but nobody else seems to be able to perceive it! I extend this sorta thinking to animals too, as in treating them like they are individuals, not a cat or a dog, but little personalities that are fully developed with boundless innocence.. But i maybe wrong there, because no one else seems to think that way either..
Hey- Mature ENFP female here. I 100% believe those three items to be VERY TRUE!! So, INFJ’s- Stay Exactly As You Are!! I (and most likely a very strong percentage of ENFP, I believe) think You Are RIGHT ON and You Encourage Us to be the Best Versions of Ourselves!! 💜💜🤗🤗 Keep On Keepin’ On INFJ’s Love you forever 💜🤝💝
Number three hit hard when I talk to my mom. She flat out gets pissed because my takes on reasoning and solutions are not “normal” when in reality it’s probably for the best.
my convictions about the world are so strong that when I tell someone something that ive developed through experience they often get upset :(. I see blunders and want to help others but people would rather not see them at all.They will tell me that I am the one not in reality. -INFJ
oh wow I've struggled with Job's and elf esteem because early on I thought I had a calling as a child and now each career choice is dependant on that and never truly been happy. it never occurred maybe that's not true. I don't understand why some people just work
Yea I’m always talking in parables lol and I feel like there is no point in life without a purpose and it has to be something altruistic, everything else is superficial.
I get the symbolism part.. I see life in ratios. It’s basically an analogy that helps you to visualize the relationship between things or to understand complex dynamics in more simple format. I’m INFJ.. this is how we are.
@@DMAC1301 Nope, not weird at all. It is like trying to triangulate between things so you can find your barings. I have always done it but didn't have a name for it. THANKS!!!
Its like a connection of every people around you , like oh i know why he acts like that, its like youll see a person in a open book with plot,climax and so on …thats why ifnj are perfect to work in counseling.
I struggle a lot to open up and make jokes around my two best friends because they‘re great and little by little I feel like I can be myself around them, but when it comes to jokes I tend to sense I’m constantly misunderstood. So, one day a friend said “I want a piña colada” and I sang the “if you like piña coladas” lyrics of the escape song. They both bursted out in laughter and let me tell you it was the warmest feeling I have felt in my heart in years, I’m an infj by the way.
Society is like a sweater. It is too tight on us (infj), itchy, and uncomfortable, but we pretend that it doesn't bother us, that we are just like everyone else. We melt into the background, mostly keeping our thoughts and observations to ourselves but still wearing that sweater to make other people feel comfortable and to keep the peace, not rocking the boat. Does that make sense?😅
1-Symbols? Me every time hehehe! 2 -Well, every life is important but yeah, it is too much to think everybody has a Divine Revelation on things like profession or what it means taking the chance life has to offer. 3. Universalism. In the wish to make things or people fit, I have misjudged or generalized some times and wanted to apologize and explain myself when the other person wanted to give input me, not me to give output.
The last one is 💯💯💯💯spot on. Although asking others has really opened my perspective but also made me really unsure about decisions 😵💫 there’s so many ways to see a situation
But the second point. I genuinely find myself feeling so lost without thinking or feeling the sense of purpose or calling or something that specific. I keep telling ,I must be or do "something" ajjwsj it's torture but I can't imagine it anyother way. I find it so surprising that not everyone does or feels that way!
People very often comment on my abstract thinking and explaining my thoughts through parables, but I don't think anyone ever meant it in a negative way. People either say they admire it or that they don't quite understand what I'm trying to communicate, at which point I try hard to simplify things (often successfully, sometimes not so much). I would never imagine that this way of communicating could be an obstacle in making friends... why would it be? I mean, there are plenty of people we won't click with because of this, but there are loads of other people who are either not bothered by it or find it downright inspiring. In this way, we are not so different to anybody else, we just need to look for and invest in our kind of people.
Despite the fact that I am highly intelligent and even gifted with words, I have always had a difficult time with them when spoken. When written, I KNOW that what I say makes sense because I have the time to sit, edit, tweak, and MAKE it make sense. The amount of times I am met with confusion, however, when I say the same things aloud had me quite honestly convinced that I was under some kind of voodoo curse or something. Because I can speak English just like everyone around me and people still stare at me with the ever obnoxious "wut" face. It doesn't help that I actually do tend to think mostly in symbolism and imagery. This difference doesn't surprise me though. I spend, by preference, a lot of time analyzing the contents of my own skull. And psychology has always been a pet interest of mine; I enjoy people watching and figuring out how people tick. Because of this, I became aware of the fact that the way I think is different pretty early in life. But I suppose I'd never considered just how much the difference in the way people's thoughts are formed would affect the communication between two individuals.
Yes like moral compass and caring more about certain decisions etc than others But also.... Not having awareness that others do not feel the same way to some degree like have guilt or shame about things and try to be straightforward or genuine even if you hurt them
INFJ niche corners of the internet are the only places I feel… not normal but less “polka dot m&m in a biiig bowl of brown m&ms.” -A girl from the northern rural midwest
Initially I thought that as an INFJ I only related (and very much so) to the second and third traits here, but I often think in symbols without realizing it. Another thing is - as long as I can remember, I have made up words to describe people and inanimate objects in a vaguely onomatopoeic way- perhaps that is why I became a writer.
A single symbol encompasses a library of parallel data that can be drawn from at any time, and applied to any situation. As Miyamoto Musashi wrote, "To know one thing is to know 10,000 things." Metaphor is useful for individual situations. It spares the audience an essay, but can still be easily understood. Thinking in symbolism saves a lot of mental space, and can be applied to anything (if the logic is sound).
Hahahahah, it really is Fe xdd Fe decides based on: - on what everyone agrees in - trusts their friends - trusts information - what they know about people - waits for other people to choose - putting other people first - what's good for everyone - common ground - same thoughts - community
The most disturbing part about savior Ni people to me in general is how confident they are about their Ni conclusions. Like for me who's double observing, I'm like, are you even looking at FACTS? Narrowing EVERYTHING down to one singular Ni trend is both stupid and nonsensical. You can't possibly know everything. Like I can prove you entire worldview to be false just by giving you a fact that disproves your premature conclusion. And of course EVERY SINGLE TIME I do this the IJs ALWAYS ALWAYS do not listen and desperately cling onto their precious little worldview they have. Dude, I get it, having a set worldview gives you a sense of security, but the extent to which you hold onto it and the way you try to deny new information and possibilities is simply unacceptable to a normal person whose double observing. What's the point of having a conversation if one person thinks they already know everything there ever is? I'm like, yeah, someday life is gonna screw this guy over if he continues to not do Oe. Good luck with that.
@Happy Smiley Face hello, nice to meet you! Are you sure that the people that you're examining are actually Ne people? Cuz from what I've been observing, the Ne people are kinda scared of things becoming predictable (demon Si). They get addicted to the exploration of the uncharted lands. What bothers me about them is the opposite of the IJs, which is that they don't have a worldview, they're reluctant to have one, and they'll try really really hard to deny one when you present to them the necessary Oi conclusions from all the Oe explorations. It's irritating and kinda pointless to talk to them about anything cuz to them everything is new. You just get tired of having to say the same things over and over again cuz they can't tell it's actually the same. But what I'm saying is the extreme cases, so it shouldn't become a label for the actual truth which is that everyone is essentially cute as and adorable, even if they're messing up their own life 😆. Are you new to the cognitive function stuff? Cuz I've been studying these for a while and I can give you some pointers about where good information is. Love you. ❤️
Hey, as an INTJ I agree with you. We're certainly that way when we're younger, but Te -- our grown-up co-pilot function -- eventually needs to verify that our Ni insights check out. If you take a certain controversial Canadian psychologist (who is way more into politics than psychology!), who is a dark example of an INFJ, he makes my teeth grind down to stumps. Just check the freaking data, grrrr!
@John Knight thanks for replying! From my own research about personality psychology, the thing you're experiencing is called projection. I absolutely hate to tell you this, but I have to tell you that there's nothing wrong with the external world. Everything you see in the world that's a problem is actually a reflection of your own internal issues. In general, intuitives, such as yourself, often complain about the external world not respecting facts, not realizing that they themselves are the ones who are doing so constantly. The first step of learning about these cognitive functions is to always always analyze yourself first. So many people just incorporate this into their existing worldview, missing a fantastic opportunity to know more about oneself and, by extension, the nature of the reality. So next time, when something "external" triggers you, ask yourself how that thing is reflecting aspects of yourself that you're probably not willing to see. Best wishes, and as always, unconditional love to you.
@@pterygopalatine I'm a psychology student and have studied Jungian Psychology for a long time. I know what projection is, sometimes there are things wrong with the outside world (murder, rape, genocide, racism, xenophobia, etc. etc.), and you just did the same thing with your opening post. In this case we're both annoyed about people being sure about Ni conclusions without verifying the facts. I know it 'triggers' me (just as it triggered you) because such behaviour may be a reflection of my own tendencies, but y'know, maybe it's also demonstrably foolish behaviour, regardless of my own projections?
@John Knight I'm curious, did you learn all of the stuff regarding cognitive functions in the school setting? Cuz I believe that Jung didn't come up with the functions and their definitions. His work was primarily about the collective unconscious and synchronicity.
Yet, if that is a thought you have normally enough to treat it as an absolute fact... 😅 Normalized abnormalism is similar to how nonconformists conform to nonconformity, methinks. But perhaps the truth is normalcy is imaginary, illusionary, which means abnormalcy is just as imaginary and illusionary?
