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3 Truths That Terrify A Narcissist

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Built into narcissism is deep-seated fear. On the outside, they may display certainty or they may act as if they have it all together. But Dr. Les Carter pulls back the curtain to reveal three basic truths that they simply cannot accept. This explains why they are stuck in ongoing dysfunction.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his RU-vid channel, his videos have received more than 110 million views.
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Опубликовано:

15 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 316

@annreyes004 5 месяцев назад

Loving a narcissist is like watering fake flowers. Nothing grows there because it is artificial - d.b. May you find peace Team Healthy!💪💯

@markjayw666 5 месяцев назад

Saw that on FB recently. So true

@BarbzSA 5 месяцев назад

Good analogy

@jacquenettakhati 5 месяцев назад

💯

@ReRe_642 5 месяцев назад

Absolutely everything about them is fake & a lie.

@Pollycat15 5 месяцев назад

Well that’s bang on!

@warrenbradford2597 5 месяцев назад

Pathological narcissists always lies to themselves. Secrecy is far more important to them than honesty.

@chriswalls5831 5 месяцев назад

Lie about things don't need to lol

@DesertlizzyThe 5 месяцев назад

I hear ya! 😊🤏🤐👍

@l.5832 5 месяцев назад

And if you were raised by a narcissist, you realize your reality is not what you thought it was. Everything was lies. I don't even know who my family is any more. I think my cousin may be my half brother. Everyone is lying, everyone is covering up. I'm so sick of it. Trying to protect their imagined' reputation'.......

@tbunnyshy1 5 месяцев назад

They are terrified when we figure them out and they’re ‘exposed’. If they lose control and we no longer NEED them, including permanent NO CONTACT (no supply to toy with). 🐈 🐁

@samuelsparling878 5 месяцев назад

Very true. But don't forget that such terror may lead them to be even more dangerous than you ever could have imagined. I called out my ex and she turned the terror right around on me -- assault, blackmail, stalking and a good old smear campaign.

@tbunnyshy1 5 месяцев назад

@@samuelsparling878 I hear you. ❤️ Stay safe the best you can, treasure the ground you gain and keep going. 💕

@amandaliverpool3374 5 месяцев назад

When we work them out they put their foot down on the gaslighting pedal to confuse us more. We need to be one step all the time. Its exhausting. I hope you are well 🙏💕

@tbunnyshy1 5 месяцев назад

@@amandaliverpool3374 Thank you Amanda. I live in a 3 generation household. My parents are driving me, my gc sister and our sons insane. I had plans to get a subsidized apartment because my son is leaving by the years end to attend flight school. If I leave before him, my parents will tell him what a horrible mom I am. They will make his life miserable! The others will suffer worse as well. I don’t know what to do. We are all tired. We also need to talk to a lawyer because inheritance for us all is being withheld, left by our Great Aunt. On a tangent, my mother accidentally blurted out that our sons got way more. I want to save everyone but will run out of life staying here. I will do my best with my caseworker, therapist, pastor and legal aide to make well informed decisions. Thank you for reaching out. ❤️🤗

@tbunnyshy1 5 месяцев назад

@@samuelsparling878 You were right. 🎯 Overnight it got worse. I will continue doing my very best and find a way out. ❤️

@Charmainecharmainecharmaine 5 месяцев назад

Let me guess… 1. Afraid of losing control 2. Afraid of rejection 3. Afraid of being alone with their miserable existence

@monaj33 5 месяцев назад

Lets add. .4.Afraid of Karma and 5.afraid of death and going to hell.. 😂

@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS 5 месяцев назад

@@monaj33 Uh, the concepts of "Karma" and "hell" are two different religions though?

@pattybrown8307 5 месяцев назад

My Narc is convinced he's not going to hell. Of course he is unable to worship GOD. Poor guy. I believe that I am as close to hell right now on earth as I will ever be and I shudder to think he is as close to heaven right now as he will ever be.

@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS 5 месяцев назад

@@pattybrown8307 I guess it shouldn't really matter what religion anyone is on Earth this day? That's a personal matter for each individual, right? How does he treat waitstaff, pedestrians, puppies or the forest?

@randy_cbc8811 5 месяцев назад

@@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS Karma is most often used to mean 'judgment' or "reaping what you sow", which are Biblical concepts.

@MegaRockstar48 4 месяца назад

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is like building a house on sand and you’ll feel as unstable and insecure on day 1 as you do on day 1000

@jeankipper6954 5 месяцев назад

Dr. C, these are SO TRUE. And are comforting--to me. Not narcs. Thank you for doing this work. You are retired from your office, and instead are serving, helping, guiding hundreds of thousands of people. So glad to be among them.

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

You are very welcome...and thanks for the encouraging words!

@mikelockhart5528 5 месяцев назад

I second that emotion!!!! The world is waking up to the pandemic of malignant narcissism and the root causes behind it. Your contribution to this is worth its weight in gold 1000 fold. Among my siblings and I, you have helped enlighten myself, and four siblings. Our lives have changed tremendously with the understanding and knowledge we have gained. I/we CANNOT thank you enough. Dr. C is a national/global treasure!

@2gooddrifters 5 месяцев назад

You have also help3d me more than I can say in words .

@zuzanas.v.6630 5 месяцев назад

Thank you for all your videos and advices and your understanding I greatly appreciate your work and your support God Bless you Dr C 🙏💖

@hchayes9431 5 месяцев назад

Your comment should be made into a sign.

@monaj33 5 месяцев назад

1.Fragile 2.weak 3.temporary

@Raku777 5 месяцев назад

Thanks for posting these notes. I was just about to do this until I saw you already do this. It helps me to remember!

@athena1047 5 месяцев назад

coward

@Freespirit435 5 месяцев назад

When I finally broke up with my narcissistic bf for good, a few days ago, I coincidentally said the same exact things to him - he is weak, he will die alone, and that he is not strong enough to hear the truth about himself. Now I am laughing thinking how that must of stroke the nerve with him! Lol he was furious, and I was just cam and content I finally did the right thing.

@JenHope118 5 месяцев назад

"You are fragile" - this is so spot on, as they can't tolerate being wrong. Beware the narcissist's death stare when you expose him/her.

@imbalancedstatus8824 Месяц назад

My Ex Narc always got mad that I was always correcting her.

@Hatbox948 5 месяцев назад

My ex narc was very fragile. He could dish out criticism, but you'd better not utter one negative word about him. So often he'd blow something you said way out of proportion. Having almost any kind of conversation with him left you feeling like you'd been kicked in the gut.

@mrsqueakthecat.8061 5 месяцев назад

I grew up in a home with parents that were like that. I don't miss being a kid one bit.

@samuelsparling878 5 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. My ex was quite similar, always invalidating my most urgent and unavoidable concerns while prioritizing her whims of fancy, and when I tried to talk w her about it, some minor error on my part was made out to be worse than any malicious abusive treatment she'd dished out to me.

@Hatbox948 5 месяцев назад

@@samuelsparling878 Exactly!

@sadie45 5 месяцев назад

@samuelsparling878 same with me, deflection another tactics.

@amandaliverpool3374 5 месяцев назад

I hope you're well. You've been through so much 🙏💕

@alicebeaver1383 5 месяцев назад

SHOW them that they are fragile. SHOW them that they are weak. SHOW them beyond all that they are temporary.

@imbalancedstatus8824 Месяц назад

You are calling for trouble

@duromusabc 5 месяцев назад

Weak aka INSECURE Narcissists hate to be called insecure in front of people

@jackilynpyzocha662 5 месяцев назад

Narcs are also immature!

@duromusabc 5 месяцев назад

@@jackilynpyzocha662 when you say those words to them they get scared because they feel EXPOSED especially in a crowd

@jhouse9113 5 месяцев назад

"Rigidity is not strength" Exactly. It's the towers that don't bend in the wind or earthquake that fall.

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

You get it.

@southernsandgroper3423 5 месяцев назад

The quote of the week for me has been “You will never get the truth out of a Narcissist. The closest you will ever come is a story that either makes them the victim or the hero, but never the villain.” Which is so very true… and you don’t know it until you have to deal with an extreme narcissist that considers you the enemy, and then it becomes a battle of perseverance (and there are no victors).

@diane5593 5 месяцев назад

Sir!, let's simplify this. They can't be HUMBLE!!!😢

@jackilynpyzocha662 5 месяцев назад

My narc dad confuses humility with humiliation!

@CherrysJubileeJoyfully 5 месяцев назад

I am fragile, but I am adaptable. I am weak, but I am resilient. I am temporary, but the things that I start and inspire, even my eternal soul may carry on in ripple effects forever in the cosmos. And in that way we all are perfectly imperfect and forever temporary.

@mrsqueakthecat.8061 5 месяцев назад

🎵One hand in my pocket 🎶..... something something something, 🎶blah blah blah blah. 🎵🎵 😋

@yobrojoost9497 5 месяцев назад

That's beautiful! The Japanese have a word for this: Wabi Sabi, look it up, you'll see it means exactly what you've just said.

@CherrysJubileeJoyfully 5 месяцев назад

@@yobrojoost9497 I like to think of myself as kintsugi, more beautiful because I have been broken.

@yobrojoost9497 5 месяцев назад

Kintsugi, I like that!@@CherrysJubileeJoyfully

@flightydancer 5 месяцев назад

beautifully said

@kellyandaaron2005 5 месяцев назад

I told my ex narc that in 20 years we would be 70. He had a look of shock and horror on his face. He was then angry at me for saying this. It was just something I was mentioning in that life is short and we should enjoy what we can.

@cherobinson6371 5 месяцев назад

They fear death absolute fear aging. Ost get dementia and other serious brain diseases

@tbunnyshy1 5 месяцев назад

The third one, ‘You are temporary’ made me gently smile. The lifelong false belief that they are all powerful is fading away. Their reign will be over. It feels so good to be aware and come into true acceptance of these things. You realize you are a real, separate person that can grow and thrive. DRC keeps me safe. It brings such inner peace. Things are really coming along nicely. Thank you Dr. C. ❤

@tmo.48 5 месяцев назад

Very liberating ❤

@ASpootifulMind 5 месяцев назад

"Live your life so that you don't regret it on your deathbed", but I guess they lack foresight and understanding that time is borrowed. To fill your life with beauty so that you can look back and be thankful for the time you spent, instead of leaving a trail of destruction behind you.

@NatalieG427 5 месяцев назад

Yes, they are fragile. Not like a flower, but like a bomb that might go off. There are also times they are so predictable as well.

@davidk2906 5 месяцев назад

I was having lunch with my somewhat narcissistic sister and her daughter. I know narcissists lack wonder and gratitude because they live selfish materialistic mean little bubble , so i said : "Lately I have been studying astronomy on RU-vid . I find it fascinating." At that my niece blurted out : "Astronomy is boring!" I Can't get over that. What an admission that she cannot appreciate something so wonderous that I was trying to share my interest in. Thank you Doctor Carter.

@johncollier3175 5 месяцев назад

The stars make me ponder God. I feel put back together, after I gaze at his wondrous stars. Astronomy is a worthwhile study. Good for you a million times!!! Laurie

@davidk2906 5 месяцев назад

Thanks Laurie.@@johncollier3175

@EYE_GOTCHA 5 месяцев назад

I finally exposed my very elderly covert mother and she hates me and has cut off all contact. She has, also, disinherited me in favor of the black sheep overt narcissist alcoholic daughter who abandoned the family, decades ago, and only came back because she was broke and alone (because nobody, including the children she abandoned at a young age, can stand her). I am so much happier this way. Best wishes to all who have been negatively affected by a narcissist. 😊

@DJH97 5 месяцев назад

Right there with ya. My narc mother has cut me off every time I would call her out on her lies and triangulation and rejections. Been cast out so many times and like a fool I would go back and try to make up. No more. At 63 I freed myself.

@juttaweber847 5 месяцев назад

@@DJH979

@Truckhergirl 5 месяцев назад

Don’t let anyone treat you bad. Stand up for yourself.

@ERice-er9ss 5 месяцев назад

I need a banner that says that in my living room, so that when I come in, it’s a wonderful reminder of how to take care of myself❤

@angelacahill9460 5 месяцев назад

I had a boyfriend.back 20 years ago that had destroyed his successful career with drugs and violence. I came into the picture as a classic codependent, looking to save him and his small children. He used me to his own benefit, then discarded me when he felt able to do so. Classic narcissist. I said then that he had a higher opinion of himself than he should. He still does. They never change.

@83CarlosI 5 месяцев назад

I often think about narcissists something like "when weakness becomes dangerous".

@caroleminke6116 5 месяцев назад

Those three things are the truth, the whole truth & nothing but the truth…

@amandaliverpool3374 5 месяцев назад

@@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS🙏👍😁

@biancamadondo300 5 месяцев назад

😂😂😂 amen and amen....number 1 the truth number 2 the whole truth number 3 nothing but the truth...am loving this 3 points

@pugnasilvia943 5 месяцев назад

Genius 🎉

@amandaliverpool3374 5 месяцев назад

I know one is that you don't need them. They hate not being needed!!!

@CaptainPhilosophical 5 месяцев назад

I hurt my knee Saturday playing with our kids. Me telling my wife no I don't need anything, triggered her. Then a little bit later in the day she's saying things like "just go sit on your ass all day." 😑 and "I don't mean to be offensive but at what age did your mom start having all her problems. Looks like the apple didn't fall far from the tree on your side. "

@michellehill718 5 месяцев назад

And, it is also true that in some situations and circumstances, we do need them. Not necessarily for emotional, psychological, or spiritual reasons. But, truth be told, many do have other qualities and even gifts to offer us and others. Albeit, very often "wrapped in sandpaper," so to speak, as some people used to say in some circles, back in the day! Lol

@sadie45 5 месяцев назад

Then hate if you aren't dependent on them because they can't control you anymore.

@roxymovie3938 5 месяцев назад

You do not need them but they need you and they want to make you think that you need them. That's their trickery trick. Hope, you are doing fine, Amanda❣

@roxymovie3938 5 месяцев назад

@@michellehill718 What kind of qualities and gifts do you mean, Michelle? I really wonder what you mean.

@Joelswinger34 5 месяцев назад

I think ANY truth scares them.

@chriswalls5831 5 месяцев назад

Miserable people, controlling, etc but better days ahead

@myeldora6820 5 месяцев назад

We all have fear of these three issues, (among other issues). It's how we struggle to accept them that tells the story.

@wikitoriasmith1713 5 месяцев назад

Fragile, weak and temporary. Indeed. I recognise my weaknesses, try better to reach a steady equilibrium. Recalibrate. However, the narcissist in my family never looks at behaviours to recorrect. Because she is perfect!

@cherylnathanodette 5 месяцев назад

I know my faults weaknesses and trigger points, thank God I know I'm not a Narc, I hope everyone here has peace finds peace and can self reflect. Thanks Dr. C your video rocks.

@hchayes9431 5 месяцев назад

I have been dealing with a narcissistic person age 74 who is also showing signs of dementia. They claim to want to quit their position but really they want people to rally around them begging them to stay. They have done this several times in the past 5 years.

@zareththealchemist8982 5 месяцев назад

Dr Cartet, you have been my cornerstone & Ive been able to rebuild my life with the foundation of understanding youve provided. Thank you very much.

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

So pleased for this feedback!

@nichollebraspennickx943 5 месяцев назад

You GO! It’s hard work… and happiness comes with it…

@darinsmith2458 5 месяцев назад

I live in a Condo Complex and there is one person that I have a problem with.. It is so nice when other people validate my experience and come up to me to complain about them.. Growing up and constantly being gaslight it is so nice to be validated and not to be crazy..

@sadie45 5 месяцев назад

Yes, I feel the same x

@fred.k9875 5 месяцев назад

Three truths are if narcissists knew what narcissism is, and that they are narcissist and narcissism is incurable they would be terrified but ignorance is bliss the topic of previous video.

@chrisla2736 5 месяцев назад

Your temporary. That is just epic. I think that is the most terrifying to a narcissist, because that means that you are fully aware, that they will NOT control you forever. NICE.

@undergroundwes2682 5 месяцев назад

This channel is really helping me get through a tough time dealing with a narcissistic wife.Thank you.

@t_nels 5 месяцев назад

That there is a truth. (Pontius Pilate) That there is a moral compass, not their own. That it wasn't about them.

@yobrojoost9497 5 месяцев назад

My wife, who clearly is plagued by narcissist patterns, seems to be slowly coming round to a more healthy way of being. I have no doubt that it's my influence on her. She would never admit that, of course, and I'm not patting myself on the back. I am realistic enough to not expect, or even hope for, a total transformation in her. Nonetheless, we get on better now than some time ago. I accept her as she is, a soul having a human experience, just like all of us. I do not accept the patterns when they rear their heads though. I will disengage calmly and without aggression as soon as I see it happening. I'll say something like: 'enjoy your anger fix' and walk away. It works wonders. I realise that it's different for each one of us, this may not work for everyone. And still, it's kind of sad that I have to 'manage' our relationship, I'm aware of that too.

@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively 5 месяцев назад

Found a whole lot of research on "financial stress, illness and faith." I interviewed long ago to become a chaplain. The 2 times I have been hospitalized the first thing I did was request a chaplain and set up a small altar. So blessed to have faith. 🌹

@user-ez1bo3wn5m 5 месяцев назад

inner peace. normalcy. a sense of normalcy. a lifelong learner. i am a lifelong learner. god bless you les.

@user-bo1vo3kp5f 5 месяцев назад

After decades I finally went on with a life .... a life that I never could have imagined would be so much better. I was never going to hear a "sorry" from him .... and that was okay because, it felt good that I never had to say that I was sorry that I finally left him.

@cooldudicus7668 5 месяцев назад

So very true. I find comfort in being fragile, weak and temporary. I would give examples, but prefer to cherish them in my heart.

@carrie6157 5 месяцев назад

Dr. Carter thank YOU for ALL you do 🙏

@lotsalaughs8829 5 месяцев назад

Temporary…I loved your definition of that word. I have often thought that when I’ve had to deal with a narcissist. And it helps me so much because I know I think differently than they do. And I even feel sorry for them because they don’t look at it from that angle. And I know I could never explain it to them because they think they are superior and would not listen to me. Oh well…

@user-qv9nw1dq2f 5 месяцев назад

Fragile, weak and temporary we all are, which is so liberating when you think it over 😊 and being able to humble yourself is a super power all of which is quite opposite to what the narcissist considers strength. Everything is upside down with a narcissist. Love, Dignity, respect and civility should lead the way. Thank you dr Carter 😊 God bless you ❤

@judyosowa5516 5 месяцев назад

Thank you for free therapy and the community we are in, to heal as we move forward in life

@lockstar169 5 месяцев назад

Erring on the side of humility is just good Karma. The validation seeking, "throw me a parade" mentality of a narcissist doesn't get this. I've heard Dr. C say more than once, that narcissists have a need to be seen as persons of significance. It's also why they only extend respect to people who they see as significant; usually it's merely people they would like to be or be seen as , in the same league as. The soft underbelly of narcissists is their mediocrity. They are tedious and boring and many people just tolerate them ✌

@matthewwozniak9138 5 месяцев назад

Just do your best and live and love as much as possible. Hold your people up in the light so they can shine too.

@l.i.t.adventures 5 месяцев назад

This is the best channel on YT for unraveling narcissism hands down. My #1 of 3 and Dr. C never falls short. Another 100% accurate deconstruction of a deep narcissistic personality disorder from NPD to Malignant!

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

Thanks so much!

@l.i.t.adventures 5 месяцев назад

@@SurvivingNarcissism no thank you Dr. Carter.

@CharmaineOkazaki 5 месяцев назад

Hello, Dr. Les! I'm your avid viewer from Japan. You have given me so much peace ( and still do) during dark times in my work life. Thank you for the sustenance

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

Thanks, Charmaine! Spread the word over there in Japan. BTW, a close friend of mine is vacationing in your country right now.

@kellyandaaron2005 5 месяцев назад

I've always seen myself as a tough cookie. If I would say that about myself in reference to how persistent & determined I am with managing my chronic pain & health conditions, he'd find a way to make me feel ridiculous for saying so. He wanted me to see myself as fragile in a negative definition. I'd tell him that you can be both. He absolutely could not understand that concept.

@aaronkwolfe 5 месяцев назад

Managing pain and health conditions in a way that can actually help others is heroic. Kudos.

@kellyandaaron2005 5 месяцев назад

@@aaronkwolfe Thank you.

@jacksg1809 5 месяцев назад

My ex narc "friend" next door neighbour loosely speaking has sent me a threatening letter . She is a pain in the arse she just won't leave me alone .😡 I haven't done anything wrong its all to get me to go round and talk to her or rather her to start to argue with me .

@t_nels 5 месяцев назад

Stay strong, stay away.

@janebraun4482 5 месяцев назад

It means we are not so safe with them, they are so fragile, the slightest things sets them off, but they cannot show vulnerability, so they just discard you, no discussion of their feelings, etc., where you likely did not intend them any ill will.

@laurielaurie8280 5 месяцев назад

I think a lot of defensiveness and mistrust starts from childhood. I grew up bullied and I had neglectful bad parents. So I grew up with a defensive guarded attitude. My father was not a good man and I grew up thinking that if I can't even trust my own parents then who can I trust? I have been betrayed many times throughout my life and while I have had my narcissistic moments I don't consider myself a narcissist. I have a family member that has shown me what true narcissism is and I don't think I fit in that category lol. ( Dr. Carter you have described my family member down to a T.) It is hard for me to open myself up to people especially nowadays with the way people have become. I think when you mention weakness I do believe many people are weak inside and put up a strong front out of fear people will take advantage of them and hurt them. Even animals try not to show they are sick or weak out of fear of being ousted from the pack or eaten. People do pick on the weak and vulnerable. Maybe narcissistic people just take these things to the extreme and overly compensate for their fears of rejection and not feeling good enough?

@KelliCoalburner 5 месяцев назад

The sad thing about NPD from what I understand, is it basically develops from parents not "taking care" of their children.

@markjayw666 5 месяцев назад

It can be neglect, abuse, or over-indulgence. However 40-60% is hard-wired from birth.

@FionaC1 5 месяцев назад

Not quite as simple as that - and certainly it’s not fair to blame narcissism on parents every time

@sadie45 5 месяцев назад

@markjayw666 my mother in law thought the sun shon out if my husband butt.

@theresechauvin5216 5 месяцев назад

My late grandmother went to residential school, and the intergenerational impact was familial abuse. My mother was in foster home after foster home. I think the intergenerational trauma caused attachment disorder of some kind in both generations. Abuse doesn't necessarily cause the abused person to become an abuser. It is a cop out to use abuse as an excuse to perpetuate more abuse. My late father also went to residential school he was a batterer and probably had antisocial disorder. Not all survivors turn into to abusers. Some people survive abuses to be adment about never ever becoming like them. I have had to go no contact with my late father and my mother. I appreciate these videos, I am doing the work to heal generational trauma overcoming narcisistic abuses.

@bikerrbikerr2792 5 месяцев назад

After 12 years marriage I still don't know how I was married to "The theater" who presented to me I looked in to it after divorce ,I found out it didn't had happened. The truth is not what he told me and when it was exposed, alienation/erasing of me and my family started.

@samanthaerasmus2671 5 месяцев назад

I was in a abusive relationship with a narc for 17months. He had addiction issues which caused many issues. When i reacted to his behavior he would become very aggressive and use physical abuse because i was leaving him because of his behavior. 3 weeks ago i messaged my ex because of his constant addiction issues and no change. He physically abused me and threatened to crash the car and in the fit of his rage he did. I sustained head and eye injuries i went for a 6 hour plastic surgery. He thought i was dead and moved my body from the passenger seat to drivers so he could get away with it. Right now his even bashing me on Facebook he has taken no accountability for nearly ending my life. He says i triggered him by messaging my ex. He has justified himself and feels asif i deserved it.

@ivanasimic2072 5 месяцев назад

Cult like mindset

@nyxcin1 5 месяцев назад

My narc father taught me at a very early age that people can't be trusted. I have learned that I have terrible judgement about people and their motivations. I don't trust my own judgement. So much easier that way but does that also make me a narcissist?

@evilsensei8262 5 месяцев назад

I had a very racist encounter recently, and you just described that individual to a T. Watching your videos and also others related to narcissism makes me believe that racists of all kind are narcissistic people who are deep down insecure, fragile and looking at others to blame for their failures in life.

@rwdchannel2901 5 месяцев назад

I confronted my narcissistic mother about her behavior after her dog died. I knew she would be softened up due to the dog dying. She apologized. Then a month later I called her to talk and she was pretending to be all nice then under her breath she uncontrollably says 'You had to call me right after the dog died!' while she was speaking in her nice voice. Basically she was telling on herself and maybe even ruminating on apologizing me for abusing me.

@juliachildress2943 5 месяцев назад

When I saw this title, the first thing I thought was "narcissists can't contemplate a world without them in it." I'm so glad that made your list. For one of my narcissists it's "I'm going to be raptured so I'll never face death." For my other narcissist, it's a refusal to put together a will and a refusal to stop continuously focusing on long-term dreams/fantasies (we won't be here 30 years from now) and enjoy the present.

@aaronkwolfe 5 месяцев назад

Heh heh. Terrifying a narcissist sounds like fun. My N-ex was terrified at the very thought of me becoming uncontrolled. The response I got as fallout wasn’t fun, but I have more perspective now.

@soco13466 4 месяца назад

My brother inadvertently revealed something once, when this one guy was asking for a favor, in the same "come on, man" way as my brother. Brother said. "I don't like that guy. He reminds me of me." Many narcissists don't like themselves. There is no way anyone can be happy, disliking themselves. When we were in junior high, he'd whine, "I've got no confidence." He was complaining to me, after having told me I was ugly, etc, which ruined my self worth, for years. When I pointed that out years later, out came the excuse card. "I was just a kid then!" "So was I, a year younger!" Absolutely no admitting he took a toll on me. I wasn't ugly BTW. I used to hate myself, because of toxic family. I got past all that. I consider the source. He's a follower of whoever his current "guru" is, and he falls for their BS. I had a couple of sales positions during my working life, furniture and cars. That is an education in itself. I learned how to lead, not follow. You don't have to be a slick weasel to sell anything. Human nature is important to know, and after all, isn't sales based on that knowledge? The best sales people have a good sense of humor. Narcissists have NO sense of humor. I have indeed enjoyed triggering such creatures, and when they get flustered, I'm thinking, "Back at ya, dickweed!" You deal with what you have, people wise. They demand, so I'm like Jack Nicholsen in "A Few Good Men." "You gotta ask nice."

@pamelahansen5928 5 месяцев назад

Dr. C wonderful insights and wisdom brought me peace for the very first time- grateful to have no contact with my narcissistic sister after decades of abuse from her -

@JessicaJLandi 5 месяцев назад

It is amazing that they try to project the exact opposite of the truth. Unless it serves them to do a controlled admission of truth - usually half-truth. I knew one who was willing to share about her weakness, but on closer examination she would end up sharing her husband's weakness!

@TheSahand68 5 месяцев назад

I always learn from Dr. C. and try to capitalize not only on his experience as a clinician, but also on his deep understanding of spiritual life. This particular video made me think and re-thing about being temporary and leaving an impact. I'll rewatch it again, and again. Thank you Dr. C. it's a privilege to have an access to your wisdom.

@YeshuaT-bm6ss 5 месяцев назад

Nope they don't have any piece its almost like they wouldn't know what to if they had any. They love chaos sad really thank you for another great video

@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively 5 месяцев назад

Yes. Now that I've learned. Shame and fear driven. My ex was so perfectionistic..... I'm a slob compared to him. I'm comfortable being unique. If I could get him to a therapist they would suggest he was not made of glass. Weak and mean. So glad he left.

@susanwilson4695 5 месяцев назад

I once confessed to someone that I wasn't patient. He laughed and said, welcome to the human race.

@IBNED 5 месяцев назад

It is a ability that can be learned...

@user-ez1bo3wn5m 5 месяцев назад

1.fragile,fragility. 2. weak,weakness weaknesses.3.temporary.

@soniavos8065 5 месяцев назад

So happy to recognize these qualities 😂 in people and know how to navigate the around them. But in small doses. It's exhausting. As a healed person, I can say that the unhealed person it was not so easy. I took their "jokes" to heart. Thanks for the freedom, Dr. I appreciate your videos. You can never stop learning and healing! ❤

@devinfineout2056 4 месяца назад

I just found you today, Doctor, when I needed to hear your words more than any time in my life. You gave me validation about what I’ve been dealing with. At 57 years old, I’ve never experienced someone in my life like this before. The confusion and heartbreak has been overwhelming. I feel the strength now to not look back, or to look back and say that they were temporary. My heart and head feels so much better. I listened to you all day. I thank you from the bottom of my damaged but recovering heart🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@SurvivingNarcissism 4 месяца назад

Glad you're on board. You are why I post these videos.

@user-ez1bo3wn5m 5 месяцев назад

god bless you les my dear friend.

@sharisimonehampton5434 5 месяцев назад

As always, your information is right on target! Thanks for the time and effort making these videos. Much needed information. Always helpful. You're the best Doc! 😉👍❤

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

Thanks so much!

@henkhenkste6076 5 месяцев назад

so hard to believe they cant grasp these concepts as truths

@southernsandgroper3423 5 месяцев назад

Thank you Dr Carter, great content as always. I have only two main questions … How does someone become a narcissist ? If it’s not genetic - how do they develop their behaviors? and, What impact does a mother who is narcissist have on their daughter - can the daughter become an amplification of the mother or just become psychologically damaged?

@sadie45 5 месяцев назад

My husband is exactly the same as his narcissistic mother and a few other members of his family. Only nice to you to get what they want from you Can't believe I fell for him, he was always saying he wasn't like her. But as he got older I'd say he is actually worse.

@southernsandgroper3423 5 месяцев назад

@@sadie45 I’d never encountered extreme narcissism before, until (as a member of school staff) I challenged the behaviors and integrity of the school principal, in particular with her proclivity towards salary favoritism, nepotism with family members and fee discounting. It sickened me to my core that a person I had counted as a friend and had defended previously could turn her back on me so quickly and throw me under the bus to peer staff and others in leadership. The narcissistic principal painted me enemy number 1, and went full bore to have me dismissed - she became so fixated on me that she’d lost focus on craft-fully covering her own rear end which essentially led to her own demise. The situation was so bad that it sent me to hospital with a stress related illness. Thank goodness the truth prevailed, and the woman was caught out lying to the school Council. And what was the seed that initiated her bitter attack - I queried why the principal couldn’t maintain management separation with family and friends employed in the school, offering them kickbacks and favors, especially to her entitled daughter. The principal was offered an exit plan from the school, but the daughter remained and continued to cause trouble in the school (coached by her unemployed mother). I still have to experience the ramifications for being the unprotected whistleblower, including ongoing harassment from the daughter (who has also been offered an exit door from the school). The mother is a control freaking narcissist, and the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree with her entitled and psychologically damaged daughter.

@southernbelle6564 5 месяцев назад

I’m so happy to have Dr. Carter explain what I’ve had to learn the long, hard way! Thank you for putting all of these problems with a narcissist under the microscope. 🙏

@Kittykat79NY 5 месяцев назад

Thank you Dr C and Gus!!❤ I'm so grateful that I have you and Team Healthy on my side and in my "toolbox ". It's unfortunate that many folks are either still in the dark about narcissists or are one .. I needed this! And so spot on! They cannot even fathom weakness or mistakes on their part.. I am comfortable with my vulnerability

@masterdaveedwards 5 месяцев назад

Thanks DrC…it’s been awhile. Glad you are still here in your limited capacity but continue to give courage and wisdom to those of us that find ourselves surrounded at times by narcissists. I feel better already. Blessings from our Creator. Shalom brother and Pax Vobiscum

@michelleharkness7549 5 месяцев назад

For the record- ( USA 🇺🇸) : fwiw: Technical People & Staff @ Presentation/ Mental Health: fwiw: thank you 😊: again: thank you 😊

@SandraMuller-vs8ck 4 месяца назад

Education is golden dealing with challenges in daily living. I feel comforted realizing that steps are in place to manage these difficult behaviors with narcissism and the therapeutic benefits I have gained from these online courses. God bless. ❤

@sarahgracetruth 4 месяца назад

That’s the big thing- EXTREME arrogance- it’s impenetrable

@CaptainPhilosophical 5 месяцев назад

I appreciate you Dr. C. Thank you for your time and efforts

@lmhlmh9584 5 месяцев назад

I love this! Your perspectives have helped me for many years🙏🎶

@user-bf1zi7fx9z 5 месяцев назад

Good morning Dr Carter. Hope it's a great day ! Thank you Susan

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

Good morning!

@hughenadasilva5055 5 месяцев назад

Jesus Christ is Lord of all. I received His Strength for 56 years in a narcissistic "marriage."

@momusicsounds7908 5 месяцев назад

I wanna like this twice.

@Joelswinger34 5 месяцев назад

Speaking of denial. Any imaginary friend? Really?? If you were really strong, you would have left.

@JaneMoon_6 5 месяцев назад

@Joelswinger34 Stop victim blaming

@denicehaley9902 4 месяца назад

Me, too, but 36 years of “marriage.” 🙏🙏

@michelleharkness7549 5 месяцев назад

For the record- wishing you, yours and GUS ( a regular dog 🐶) a nice 😊 afternoon and as well a very, very, very pleasant evening ahead!!! ( USA 🇺🇸)

@andreaalbert858 2 месяца назад

My husband is a narcissist, he has 3 older kids with three different women. He lies all the time, he thinks that he is better than everyone. He is always telling me that everything is my fault, I don't say much anymore when I'm around him. He used God's name for everything

@belladonna3249 5 месяцев назад

Are the narcs conscious of being terrified? Or do they bury it in their subconscious?

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

Notice how quickly they become defensive. That's their fear. They don't see the fear, since it often manifests as anger.

@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively 5 месяцев назад

Had a great chat w Audible tech. Great to know you are on there, Dr C.

@helenebezencon8906 5 месяцев назад

Thank you ! I'll try and answer your question about "temporary". Since I was 12 I have always believed death is a grest part of what gives a meaning to life. I mean, it is happening while we are here, it is not forever. Eternity, if it applied to people, would frighten me terribly. The other two, "fragile" and "weak", are more complicated. I'll take more time on those.

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

It's great to hear from a fellow intuitive soul. Thanks, Helene.

@helenebezencon8906 5 месяцев назад

@@SurvivingNarcissism Well, Thank YOU, Dr C !

@katiepierson8364 5 месяцев назад

A narcissist,told me that I'm ,her favorite nom de gare ,because ,she was jealous of the likes ,some people on RU-vid,had given me .🤨

@sissi8610 5 месяцев назад

Thank you. This is so timely. I am following a courtcase now, of international importance. Sounds dramatic, but I'm afraid it is. Dr Reiner Fuellmich, the main person of the German Corona Investigative Committee, has been illegally kidnapped, transported back to German, and has been in pre-trial detention for 5 months. I'm afraid that I will spend the rest of my life trying to understand the psychology, character disturbances, and ill intent of his ex partners Viviane Fischer, Antonia Fischer and Justus Hoffmann (who by the way accused Fuellmich of being Antisemite, oh...we didn't even know Hoffmann was Askhkenazi, we didnt' even know what that word meant). So, I've been putting English subtitles to the lawyers daily summaries, and some witness reports. Because of that, I got into it quite deeply. Like my theme video on my channel, Carl Jung, he says: We must study they psyche of man, because he is a great danger, he is the cause of all coming evil. Amen. Dr Carter, you're like a safe stop for me, many people, like Peter Breggin, have been kicked off RU-vid, you're still here. I really feel I need to investigate the characters behind Fuellmich's kidnapping for a long, long time.

@aaronkwolfe 5 месяцев назад

Hmm. I wonder if I try to thwart my mortality with my blog and my YT joke channel. I mean, I'm okay with dying, but I still hope I can bring laughter and introspection even after I'm gone. My fragility and weakness is on display. And I'm okay with that, I guess. I don't HIDE them, anyway. I do readily confess to them with people I trust.

@aaronkwolfe 5 месяцев назад

But my N-ex would readily agree with the neo-philosopher Steve Taylor who sang "... but I'd rather be immortal by not dying."

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

Actually, being able to laugh at yourself can be a form of humility. Be you, Aaron!!

5 месяцев назад

I can't wait to listen to this session! 😁

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

Hope you like it!

5 месяцев назад

@@SurvivingNarcissism Today I turn 46. she took my children from me 20 years ago with the discard. She lived 400 mjles away. For the last years all my birthdays and fathers days have been without my children. J no longer celebrate either day. I refuse all invjtatjons to a party for me. Told my mother If my children arent there no party. Theyre away at college now. I will go deeo into the woods alone and find a place to cry n pray.... Until my children call me

@athena1047 5 месяцев назад

Your talk is gold, as always. Your shirt is way cool.

@SurvivingNarcissism 5 месяцев назад

Thank you, and thank you.

@andrejvidovic1 5 месяцев назад

Wonderful video!!! "You're a blip on the screen" I loooove that :), that's something narcissistic people can never figure out!!!!

@TheeyeOftruth-yx2np 5 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for this DR Les, You're absolutely beautiful, Absolutely tremendous, Peace, love, Respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the universe, The most high, God is great 🦄🐉💙😃❤🌹🌌✌🐶🌈🦁😍🕊🐎😘👽🌷💛