3 Unattractive Things You Might Be Doing that Will Keep You Single (Christian Relationship Advice) 

For those of us who don’t have a lot of time :) 1) 1:13 negative generalizations about the opposite gender- saying degrading things about the opposite sex 2) 3:42 having a victim mentality- always thinking that you’re right and others are wrong 3) 7:35 A preachy personality- preaching about something that you don’t know about or sounding judgmental

I'm single because God is healing me from insecurities and feeling like I'm not enough.

I was sexually assaulted at a young age and was terrified of men and I am only saying these things because God healed me and I no longer view men this way.❤️

Seeing marriage as an idol could also be keeping you from being found

Hey Pastor Mark! I know why I’m still single because God is giving me a spiritual makeover and I’m doing just fine!!! Thanks for sharing this message with us! 🤗

I am single because God is working on healing my past abuse and past sexual immorality or fear of intimacy in marriage and my future husband leaving me. I am also growing spiritually and helping other single girls within the church and I need to work on loving myself more and having strong boundaries:)... im 32 single and sometimes i wish i was married with kids and get jealous of friends who have this but then i realise im on a different journey and marriage doesn’t solve your problems it magnifies them and God’s timing is perfect and I have lots of spare time to help singles and broken ppl in the church so whoo!:)

I'm a overly picky preachy woman please pray that I can shut my mouth and just listen more. 🤦🏻‍♀️

This is really good, I was considered the preachy girlfriend. I'm learning to tone it down and love unconditonally because I know I'm no where near perfect myself. 1 Corinthians 6:11.

After you told me Paul was single I realized that is how he was able to be so dear with God.

I love being single. I enjoy my relationship with my Father God and His Son my Savior. I love to listen for the Holy Spirit's whispers. If I meet a guy, that's icing on the cake.

Yea that's why God took so long bringing me someone because I thought all men were the same and he waited for me to get out that phase

3 unattractive qualities: 1. Big sweeping negative generalizations about opposite sex. (.. usually projecting individual experience--need to forgive.) 2. Always being defensive and having a victim mentality. (.. some people always have an excuse to not do the right thing) 3. A preachy mentality, especially in what the person doesn't have experience in. (..can wear people out.)

I wish more people could hear this valuable teaching. A lot of us act like feeling ready for marriage is enough, when really, being in love with God is not enough to actually be ready for marriage. You still need to build a skill set to endure loving and living with a flawed human being. We love God because He is perfect. People are not easy to live with. This is real

On point 1: you keep forgetting that the home you grew up in also affects your view of the world. It's not just your past bf's/gf's. If Dad cheated or Mom was a gold digger, you may have to work on your feelings about your family before you try to create a family of your own.

I am a GOAL DIGGER 😂 I believe this season of waiting is for me to get closet to God.. improve my relationship with Him..😊 Am thankful for this season.

Yeah I am single..but I am fine. God is still working...and I am not done waiting. 😉

Your passion for what you do shows. :)))) your heart is the right place. Thank you for helping us. I hope you get to start speaking at Christian events bc you have lots to share. God bless.

I guess for me I guess things keeping me single is 1) lack of self confidence 2) Me staying in my house too much 3) my lack of faith.

Thank you for this Mark. A lot of unanswered questions have been answered. 🙏

The fear of being rejected, lack of self confidence is what I have. True I find mostly guys the same, maybe because of what I've been through...thanks to this video I need to change my perception in every man. 🙏😍

I really appreciate the way you teach. You seem very wise and humble 😊

Being single is a blessing.

Truth! Well said and good reminder to be mindful

Very good points, thanks

If you are what they want; grace is given. If not, you can do no right. Jer:17:9

Be careful what you wish for or pray for.

I am Single and totally Ready to Mingle! I've been praying for God to prepare me to be a wife and to send me a husband.

He explains things clearly.

May God speak to all of us! Great video

Thx for these golden nuggets of wisdom, Mark! 💖👍💯

Thanks. Very enlightening.

Great advice

It might seem like a really long video but I employ everyone to watch the whole video if they have the time. You will be blessed, trust me

You do a very nice job ! Always enjoy listening !

Excellent! This video is so on point!! 💖 God is healing me now. 🎇🎇🎇🎇. Thanks be to God !! 💖 But previously I could fall into some or all of these traps, until I did my counseling work, with prayer as well. 🎆🎆🎆🎆

Thank you brother Mark for this video. Getting out of that victim mentality. I’m an introvert that is trying to find the balance of what God wants for my life. 🙏🏻😇

Thank you for your words that brings more wisdom to us.

Love this video thank you Pastor Mark

Great video. Thanks

Been single for over a year. My past relationships were not with Godly people, including myself. Praise the Lord that I am now walking with God. I enjoy my singleness but I have a growing desire to find a spouse who is on the walk with God. I can’t wait to have a family one day, but I know I gotta pray for patience!!

Good video, the last quality is huge.

Pastor Mark many people are all of these things but are married and many none of these things but are single. I agree these attitudes are toxic but honestly feels like there's no formula.

Thanks so much for all of your great advice! It's so very helpful!!!

These points are good

Very good advises 👏

Great video! Thank you! 😀

Thanks Mark, I appreciate your videos

Thank you for this video God bless 😊

Really good video Mark. Thanks again.

Great video a🌻

Thank you Mark for ministering to us with pure Biblical perspective and sincere love for us. God’s truth is heard and felt by all of us who have ears to hear. I came across your channel many months ago by chance as a suggestion in my RU-vid home screen. I subscribe right after the first video I watched!! All your videos have blessed me and given me help to heal and process more emotionally and relationally, after years of trauma by narcissistic abuse in my “Christian” marriage. ( or was he really a born again Christian??) Anyway, Now that I have been given a new chapter in my life, I believe God placed you in my path on purpose to help equip me through His grace for the relationships and future marriage to come. God always prepares you where His will is leading us. So I’m blessed to have been able to absorb what the Holy Spirit wants to teach me in this season by way of your channel. 🙏🏻🍀praying a hedge of protection around you and your family as you minister to us all. God bless and keep you!!🍀💕🙌🏻 Keep up the great work for God’s Kingdom

wow I thought I was the only one who could relate to number 3!

Thumbs up for this video 👍👍👍👍

I am glad and grateful that God has protected me from having any of these undesirable traits! 🙏

Wow your videos are amazing

Yes! Very true... Good way of looking at it.

I can't stand those men who say that all women are gold diggers! Unattractive!!!

I love your videos

We all not perfect, but after seeing this making me stronger

This is a compelling discussion. I am led to believe a very good way of approaching opposite sex pre-marriage relations is engaging in a non physical friendship with people in whom you share commonality. Keep everything possible sacred for the marital commitment and try not to ever be alone with someone you're attracted to. It also protects one's heart so you won't be carrying previous unnecessary hurt into marriage.

From what I've experienced women always casted me as the side dude or friend zone. Like you said not all women are like that and that's my mindset. At the same time to avoid any let down , embarrassment, or disappointment I don't put myself out like that anymore because of how this is repeated.

Very helpful advice ! I know what I need to work on . Lol

i am blessed not being avoid by my friends cause i struggle with victimhood but i wanna get out of this.

I’m really glad I’ve come across you’re videos, as a Christian single this information as well from your other videos have really helped me keep in mind the do’s and dont’s in my single walk. God bless you

Holy crap I have realized how my defensive behavior is defective.

I dated a guy who was always offensive and blaming everyone for his anger and actions he had with every single person I tried to help him in this but it was impossible . We sense broke up but I still pray God will change him cause it’s not only effected our relationship it effects all of his relationships with bosses family friends etc . Till this day he still in the same position and situation . He still wants to work it out with me but it’s so exhausting trying to work something out worse someone who still in the same rut and never wanting to except it . I know I’m not perfect but he still blames me that I was the one who changed the relationship when sense the beginning he was so difficult to be in a relay with . All I know I had fault because I went in with the emotional mentally that I can help him through this when God continue to show me more about how this cannot work right now with us . So I’m praying he will get help and i also to learn from our situation , thanks again for your videos ! God bless

Yes this is all true and so unattractive. Just because a relationship doesn't work out. Learn from it and take that knowledge with you as you search for someone who will be good for you.

Preachy.

My husband of 10 years cheated on me with a woman from Canada and he was talking with her behind my back, I was so devastated and heart broken We have been separated for one year, God was with me and show me it was going to be ok

very good points... thank you Mark. Blame, blame, blame... very unattractive

It's hard for me to accept singleness is a gift because honestly it doesn't feel like it. It's hard for me because I have a few friends, we hang out, but they have their own lives. Mom and dad are with God and I want my own family. I'm 39 and honestly I am really starting to worry that I'm going to die alone without anyone to care for me. My friend says my standards are too high and I am too particular. I honestly don't think I should have to settle. The heart wants what it wants, it cannot be helped. It's the only thing I want desperately that I don't have. I realize that I am doing perfectly fine with God leading the way and my Prophetess friend told me be careful what I pray for. Is praying for this nightly a sin ? I really hate being single.

this channel is a Godsend (lol)

I find myself at fault at all three of these things I have to work on them thank you for the advice basic understanding that you give us good advice for anyone to follow I'm sorry for doing this

I believe and struggling with maybe the Lord wants me to be single at 59 , which I don’t mind really, it’s nice to hv a male companion, friend, just to talk to and help each other out in life! Be there for each other if we get sick, someone to make chicken soup for! 😊❤️🙏✝️

Yes I totally agree with you. But what if the mistakes in the video and you are going through some sort of abuse. Is there some sort of wait we can put some of these mistakes to good use so I can attract my crush?

Is it a sin to be SINGLE! Why is it that you have to be with somebody to be complete? Some of us are fine being on our own. Especially today in this deviant, evil world, where greed and corruption rule. I serve Jesus Christ! He is the only one that I need.

I don't do those things you mentioned, I still don't understand why I'm still single at 39.

Hey Mark I was wondering can you do a video on how to get rid of toxic friends? I am going through this and I would appreciate it if you can answer my request I would appreciate it! Thank you Mark God bless 🙏🙏🙏😇😇😇

AMEN 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

True scripture.

What do you have for people who are trying to get married again because of being a widow? Seems most of your advice is for young people looking for their first marriage. Some of us are old lol. My desire is to marry again. Any advice?

I have listened to you Mark about a few things about Christian Singleness, I must tell you it's very interesting to hear this from a Christian man, I'm 59 years old and divorced and haven't remarried and have one son 29 years old. Some of the things you are saying are true about gold diggers and that. I have heard this before and about those type of people that act as if they know it all when they don't. Even though I'm a Christian women I have never dated a Christian man but I would think and correct me please if I'm wrong but to me a man is still a man in part only one walks with the Lord and the other does not. A man Christian or not still I would think desires sex does he not? Thinks like a normal man? I hope I hear something back about this I would be interested to know it would help me understand better as I would like to get married again but it has to be different, I have been in prayer about this very thing.

My mom is tearing me apart with this. She was sexually abuse growing up, up to her twenties.

My sister often chooses to be irresponsible when it comes to buying her groceries but then she gets into trouble with mom and I often blame society for not allowing me to get Autonomous RV and not being able to drive and that’s why my parents drive me and these are struggles that we all have when it comes to our sinful nature which is why people often become irresponsible and decide to avoid work but then we all have social programs whether in Asia along with Western Society set into place since the 1990’s - Early 2000’s which are all set into place in order to get more people to work cause most people nowadays are too lazy and irresponsible thanks to advancements in technology My sister struggles more with independence when it comes to doing her chores and buying groceries while I tend to struggle more with independence when it comes to driving ☮️ a car 🚗 because I wanna be safe on the road and avoid conflicts with my parents but I also tend to struggle worse with independence than my twin sister when it comes to money 💰 cause I’m currently living off my disability pension and my sister is currently at university school 🏫 and is able to drive a car 🚗 which means that she doesn’t get disability for her ADHD which I have for my Autism but my sister can still apply for disability since she has ADHD but she just simply chooses not to and my parents also had me apply for disability for my Autism because I was not able to drive a car 🚗 and buy it off of the Internet before finishing high school 🏫 in Ontario but at least I’m getting into WES Program at keyindustries.ca soon which means that I’ll have a lot more money 💰 in my bank 🏦 Account and a little bit more independence but I’m not sure 🤔 what will happen until I find out by the 2020 New Years I could have gotten car 🚗 insurance 💰 at the age of 16 if I were more like Scott from Canada’s Worst Drivers and wasted my money 💰 off of a car 🚗 I didn’t need off the Internet We will luckily have 5G Technology all over the world 🌎 very soon especially for Autonomous Vehicles 🚗 It’s all thanks to advancements in cellular technology within the last couple of years since 2014 that I have failed to get my own drivers licence 💳 along with my self-talk and my obsession with imaginary girlfriends like Princess Peach from Super Mario Nintendo unfortunately and that’s why I’m dealing with all of those Internet Trolls on Twitter right now but sometimes I’ll have to fight against the issues while at other times I’ll have to keep some of the issues private out of respect for others around me But I also obsess too much about Google and RU-vid and I generalize things too much thanks to the ABA Therapy I did with Eileen Bethune for my autism during early childhood but I’ll have to learn how to fight against all of those tendencies along with my challenges in life unfortunately if I wanna to have a better quality of life within my own society But that’s also why I dealt with trolls on RU-vid in the past which I no longer have to worry about and that’s why RU-vid and Google and Twitter are getting a lot more stricter in the year 2020 even in ways that are beyond what I can tolerate unlike today unfortunately

I was abused sexually, physically and emotionally by various people through-out my childhood. So it wasn't just one time by one person.

Great advice Mark! Good tips to follow. I have a question...Mark what is your opinion about showing intelligence? I heard a conversation once in which one person said to the other that a woman should not show her intelligence too much because she can scare off potential future husbands. What do you think about that? I would like to hear your opinion. Thank you again! God bless!

Hmm makes sense

I’ve been molested, sexually assaulted and abused by a few specific men, however… I refuse to view all men as being predators or in a negative manner. One of the defining factors that will determine wholeness and perspective, is forgiveness. If we choose to be bitter toward the opposite gender for what a few bad intentioned individuals did, you will continue to be miserable and never change your journey. It is essential to forgive and allow a Christ to heal you other wise that bitterness will destroy your spouse or next relationship .

This is just my own personal opinion, but i personally think we as human beings are still holding up walls that truly need to be broken down because even if you have had past hurts, perhaps these walls are preventing us, from God bringing us our significant others into our lives. On another note, could it be that we haven't found the one God has for us, is because our expectations have been raised too high? Now I'm not saying we shouldn't have a list of what characteristics and behaviours we would like too see in other people, but when it gets to a point where our list of wants is super detailed, then I would say just dial it down abit, because while God might not give us everything we want to see in a person's life, He ultimately knows what we need right. God just might give us some of our details on our lists for what we're looking for and maybe not every single one, but for me that would be okay because I know when God brings in the right Godly Christian woman into my life, she will be meant for me and only me.

Pastor Mark may I ask as God is still guiding me through pastoral college, I had my stroke over 30 years ago but recovered about 95% because of the Glory and Love of God; why do human beings when looking to date and be married still look at the outside first and not the heart as God teaches? Or not support each others callings and gifts God placed in, but runs away from them instead of taking a chance in getting to know amazing hearts He creates? He revealed this is why I'm still single. That my marriage for Christ will always come before whoever I date and marry as that alone has turn a Christian man away.. Is this wrong? Thank you. In my prayers.

Thank u brother......how can i go to meet christain women...how i no if they like me

I thank God for placing this in my recommendations on today. Because to be honest. I have been struggling with not becoming cynical due to past relationships. I know that the bad relationships I was in came from me trying to move to quickly, from me not using Godly wisdom and discernment, and from me purposely ignoring red flags about someone when the Lord showed them to me. I allowed the enemy to convince me that God didn't have someone better for me, and to convince me that I was showing them love in the correct way. Idk how to explain it. I just continue to ask God to help me in every way. I know I'm not perfect, and I need His love and kindness to see me through in Jesus name.

44 turning 45 still single. I give up

Say you like your friend, but your pretty sure if you say you like them that they will only see you as a friend, so you pretend to not like them. Is it a sin since it's technically lying?

A good woman & a good man is hard 2 find nowdays. I just simply believe all good things that r still single, THAT'S BECAUSE WE R HARD TO FIND PERIOD!!!!!

It's almost impossible just to get a date in the first place...how in the world am I going to get married??

Hey Mark!! Love your videos!! Question... When did you OR your wife tell each other you were waiting for sex until marriage?? Did she or you bring it up on the first or second time you met??

#1 every husband everywhere.

Been single since the 90’s. Just don’t have the energy for it. That simple.

These are a little bit hard especially since modern society pretty much conditions women to be these things.