After 20 years of marriage I am finally realizing things I have allowed that caused me to be treated poorly and am divorcing. Finally standing up for what I deserve and moving on with lessons learned, great video.
Bluekiss 2525 Why would they? If men can get easy sex, they will lie their asses off to get it. “We will see where it goes and may even date in future” is a 21st century equivalent of 19th century “I will marry you afterwards, don’t worry” phrase to get a girl spread her legs.
I will tell you why. I have a really "liberal" friend. She sleeps with a lot of guys. Good for her. HOWEVER, when a guy I know said he wanted a fuck buddy I immediately thought of her. When I introduced the idea, she was SO insulted. Men know this. That is why they all pertend to want a wholesome relationship when in fact all they want is sex. I think they should directly head for TINDER.
If a man drops you for not sleeping with him early on let him. I've been down this road. This type of man is trash. Thank you for reminding me of these things!
AMEN to That :) ... I had a guy do this to me when I was in my early twenties because I wouldn't move in and sleep with him!!! Well after that he just dumped me and wouldn't talk to me ever again ... So in-return I just ended up loosing contact with him!!! But you know what I don't care now because if the only reason he wanted to be with me was so that he could live and sleep with me, then I just said: "Forget It," because I deserve way better then that and want a man who wants Me for Me ... And not so that he can just live and sleep with me!!!
Really the sexual test, funny because I should have failed all of those tests but nope I just keep having to take those over and over. I guess my huge fail is not convincing enough 🙃 lol
My fiance treats me like I'm the only girl in the world, he listens when I speak, we share happenings in our day, he talks to me, he is so in touch with his emotions
@kenthoi angom thanks, you know what he said to me when I say he makes me feel like the only girl in this world, he says no you are not but you are the only girl I see.
These tests not only apply in dating men. They apply in life. Do not let anyone ever mistreat you because they will do it again and again. Always call out this behavior and let people know you do not stand to be taken advantage of.
When a man disrespects you and talking flirtatious things from the first time, dude, have respect to yourself to go away, that's not love. He want just your body not you as a whole. A relationship with only lust without love, will just be temporary. An eternal love needs passion and compassion in good way.
@@lfritz1316 No one is capable of eternal love alone tbh because we are all sinners. People are just inherently bad. Disney doesn't know love at all either actually. Disney really twists it up. Love is meant to be unconditional but it can't be produced by people alone.
Yes 🤦♀️ jeez I’ve made the mistake too many times of falling hard for someone who was super flirtatious and touchy with me from the very beginning. I imagine that it’s difficult for extremely attractive women to date
🤔 I keep hearing that it’s so weird and if you’re Christian it’s way different. I heard from God, “just go slow” but maybe that was a thought from my own mind idk. But me and him both text slow. I text back slow because he does to. I let him lead but a lot of the times I am really busy and have to travel to work pretty far so I’m exhausted. I’m so used to super needy guys to so I want something different.
I'm 43 my issue is trusting my whole life I've been cheated on by men I've truly loved. I've been through trauma as a child. Now I have a fiance that treats me like a 👸. It feels good.
@@avawilliams5278 WHY if you don't trust someone, or are jealous enough to even WANT to do that, you have a toxic relationship. BUT ASK YOURSELF WHO MADE IT THAT WAY, AND GET COUNSELING. Are you reacting to your old baggage? If not, and there are REAL red flags, don't break the law, ask point blank or get a private investigator if you have money to burn, but just those acts, will have already have DESTROYED that relationship, and unless you deal with WHY you would go that far, you may self destruction every future relationship, because you aren't willing to try to trust!
I feel like most men talking about dating on RU-vid are kind of douchy....... but this guy is actually really cool, respectful, has good advise, and DOESNT seem like he’s a dick head when the camera stops rolling. I raise my glass to you sir 🍷
Only toxic men would put a woman through this shit.. A woman will sleep with you quickly if she's actually interested no need to play any games with her
The biggest turn off is when a guy pushes and pushes to initiate some kind of sexual activity after you have very kindly set the boundaries! Especially when it happens as early on as in a online relationship starting and you haven't even met him personally yet. After a while you can actually get pretty angry and frustrated, almost irate. It's very nice to see a video with a gentleman who reaffirms that thats the right and proper thing to do, thats how real MEN act! Thank you.
Please understand: For men it is so easy to be attracted. Often they become very focused on a woman but he doesnt know that this makes him less desirable. An experienced casanova will always hide his attraction.
@@lfritz1316 well they don't need to hide it completely. Just be respectful and build a friendship before jumping. If it's a descent girl/guy who's worth being with the relationship will naturally take time. But that's just me. To each their own... Just depends on what you want at the time, but you also cant assume that everyone is in the same place or wanting the experience or relationship... ☺
So true! This has happened to me many times and I have since drew the line. I love me and I know my worth! Sexual comments early on is a humongous turnoff for me. Good luck in your future relationships! BTW..your first name is my name too ❤
😭😭I don't know what to do please help me. Few months ago ex cheated on me. He ghosted me. I met this guy on instagram. I like him. He liked me too. I asked him what he wants. He said I'm looking for relationship not Friend zone. I didn't wanted to loss him..so I said yes for relationship even though I still was struggling. Trust issues, intamacy issue, relationship issues.........he keep on asking for nudes,nude video call. I said no. He said I don't like hearing no. I told you before relationship. I'm nasty guy. I'm in that mood 24/7. You should have known it. (I had told him I have trust issues and I fear men...I don't dislike them) you need to keep me happy....then one evening I had mental breakdown.(I suffer from depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts,self harm, extreme mood swings) I said to him. Listen I'm not normal. We can't date. Let's break up. I can't take it anymore. I'm ubnormal. He said I don't just wanted your body. I like you. I won't force you. We will take it slow. I like you genuinely......but still even after saying no . He still ask for it. I don't know what he wants........he asked for my nudes with face......yes I'm stupid....I send him.......I'm stuck here....I have no other way....I wish he understands me and my feelings......I'm ready to give him whatever he wants....all I want is patience, understanding,time,love,care,alot of talk, emotional bond,....right now I'm not looking for sex....I like sex but first I want to build trust.
Please help 😭😭I don't know what to do. We fight twice. Once time I asked him do he wants to give up?? He said no. He said I'm not here for just sex. I genuinely like you....😭😭 please....I don't want him to leave......I'm going through alot of things family,health,school, relationship, identity issues....feel like no one wants Real me .they just want a fake normal person.
My brother used to use sarcasm to tear into me. I would tell him to stop, but my mom would tell me that it's funny and that I'm being too sensitive. He got progressively worse, and now that he's married, I swear to God he's treats his wife like trash.
Same happend in my childhood. I never understood why a mother doesn't correct this behavior. A view years later I had to listen to one of his girlfriend, suffering, crying exactly due to that 😤
Is not about lowering our standards , is about knowing the man we are dating to see if they are sexually compatible with us .this is and old fashion way of thinking . Women should embrace sexuality!
I have been following the principles of not allowing anyone cross my boundaries, in every aspect of life. It is a bit lonely on this side, yet your life feels so complete at the same time. The funny thing is, I haven't met a man who did not try to cross my boundaries in a while; and my first reaction: Boy, bye! Thank you for this lovely video, raising awareness that men with values still exist.
Sure, go slow until I'm gone. Life waits for no one. How long should a reasonable amount of time be?? I'd rather a person tell me they're afraid of something rather than waste my time ❤
I disagree. My guy has taken it so slow that after 4 months I still haven’t been to his pad and when I asked to see him twice a week he’s now run for the hills
@@paulabryan882 I see what you mean but the ones that move fast are narcissists too. Both extremes actually signal they're narcissists. The ones that move too slow, like yours, probably have other back up supplies. The ones that move too fast, like narcissistic ex, was looking to secure supply for abuse. Both dont yield results. We just have to wait for what is REAL. Dating on extremes are unhealthy.
@@somyan8540 I legitimately have second hand embarrassment, in addition to being totally turned off, when they do that. Ugh, they're so clueless and have no idea how to treat a woman
@@somyan8540 I'm sorry....I might be misunderstanding your comment. Do you mean that it only seems like men don't understand women because I'm having a boring time with them? I was only referring to the ones who immediately start talking to you inappropriately much too soon....they are the ones I feel don't understand women AT ALL.
I frickin hate the sexual test. I walk away from the sexual test. I don't care if he thinks I'm a prude. He has to like me, my feelings, my personality, my emotions, the way I care for someone. Not superficial. Cant do superficial. I will not be used. I find it very difficult to find a man who will take the time that I need and at my speed. If not, then they are not worthy of me in anyway whatsoever
I dated a guy who was so nice at the beginning. But the closer we became, the more sarcastic he got. One day he made fun of my country and culture, I was so shocked and disappointed in him and quickly ran away from him. Come to think of it now, he was really insecure and jealous of me.
I agree, everything is a test and a game, you can't be yourself, you have to pass every single proof people put in your way in order to have a meaningful relationship, it's stupid and shitty.
well, its the other way round.... women don't take men seriously ... they play games with men.... and hence men have started to lose their trust in women gradually. You people should stop being gold diggers if you want men to really respect your community.
Cosmic Truth who is your and our community. He/she/they, were all 1 community. Othering has never brought anything good in history funny how we don’t learn from this
Came across this video right after I decided to stick to a standard and called it off with a man that was just too busy to be consistent and too busy to ask me out or show up for dates. It turned into a text buddy thing. 4 months, 4 dates and no progress. I simply decided to walk and this video reminded me it's OK, and it doesn't matter of he is testing me. I passed my own test of dignity.
That's what's up Susan! It sounds like the people on this thread are a little bit bitter because of the mistakes they made, but you don't have to keep making them. God's way is the best way! To not get your heart broken.
@@cosmictruth3600 Wrong. You are one of the types of men women should avoid at all cost. Your comments are insulting, degrading, and show how you want to peg women down and ruin her self esteem so that she lowers her standards down to your pathetic level. This is what a lot of so called men like you do on RU-vid, which is so pathetic. You deserve no respect or quality women behaving that way.
When God has laid you on a man's heart, he will never, rush, disrespect, or minimize a womans worth! You will be his priority, not an option. Men dont test/play games. Take your time, Friendship first!!!!. Have standards, values, stay in the word of GOD, no sex before marriage. If a guy does not respect your values, he's not who God has purposed for you, it will never last!!!!!
Absolutely sister. A godly man would not 'test' a woman in these cruel ways. Sadly I know many Christian men appearing godly, but they are really arrogant and condescending towards women .. A lot of men in ministry (teachers, pastors, etc..) tend to be sarcastic and 'funny' aka outright rude and arrogant. It is rare to meet a man who has the right doctrine and ALSO has genuine love in his heart towards his sisters-in-Christ. So many of us are praying for these men and they end up just using our prayers as fuel... sad, sad. In the end, both women and men lose and miss out loving relationships..
All of these 3 are completely my standards now I no longer feel dependent on a man. Lonely at times? Yes sometimes. Wishful? I admit I do wish for a soulmate one who will love me and be kind company to have fun with. Anything less? Never. Anything less is--- less. Meaning-less. Pointless. 😎
I totally resonate with that, I too have this desire to find someone and have that companionship, someone to direct affection towards me, to tell me I'm beautiful etc...this runs really deep in us. It's about self -love, respect and knowing ourselves.
I learned it a hard way, “we teach people how to treat us”. I thought it was “treat others the way you want to be treated. In any type of relationships, setting boundaries and reinforce it are very important. Thanks for the video♥️
Just like we should put boundaries on ourselves and how we treat ourselves, from boundries of addictions (say no!) How we self talk, (dont allow yourself to demean ourselves (just like you wouldn't allow a man. We need to practice boundaries on ourselves first and get good at it, then we'll be better ready for someone outside ourselves.
I'm a grandmother, and stumbled onto your video. This is excellent advice, teaching young women to respect themselves. You present the facts well, so thank you for putting out this informative video.
My guy and I are 4 hrs apart. We consensually became intimate after a couple of months. Now we've not been able to see each other for 3 wks. I'm feeling maybe I was intimate before I was ready. How can I take a step back and put the brakes on without harming things?
Never realized until after my last relationship that sarcasm can lead to so many bad feelings... or that you can’t make someone think about you more! It’s up to them To realize your worth, you just gotta know your own and keep doing your thing. thankful for perspective from learned mistakes and for this video!
I love it when men call themselves “testing” me. They lose that game every time!! I am the definition of the Devine feminine with a masculine mindset. I’m always ahead of the game because I have deep empathy and understanding. It helps that I have a lot of confidence in myself. Age really does make you better!! With all the knowledge I have now, life is more fun!
@@masterdevoe2519 and how do you redeem a public embarrassment you caused your partner in the name of testing? Are there no better ways if your intention is pure? certain things are expected of toxic pple! c'est tout!!.
Agreed but they also may tease you a little bit to learn more about who you are. Men are status seekers.. how do they know who you are unless they test you?
I remember when my dear late mother would tell me how Dad had to earn her love before even trying to propose to her. Like the old proverb goes, "It is easier for a man to earn an honest day's pay than to earn a woman's love."
1)Sex too soon 2)Sarcasm at your expense aka I was just joking while being mean 3)Inconsiderate behavior or it's all about me and my needs, not ever about you and what you need.
Jason, The way Fathers treat their daughters in childhood and adulthood also sets the tones and foundation for how those daughters allow men to treat them in their lifetime. My father usually said things to me that were not very nice when I was younger, and I ended up with a Narcissist Abuser for 10 years. Thank God for saving me because the abusive relationship ended. I'm very thankful for mentors like you because you helped me rewrite my history and redefine my relationship with men. Now, I've relearned how to be treated well with courtesy and respect. I'm happy to say that now I command the attention and respect of ONLY High Quality Men.
I just broke up with a narcissist after 8 years together. How did you heal the pain? I have father issues too, which i'm sure, led to dating a toxic guy. Thought I had dealt with it, but obviously it led me down a wrong path. What advice would you give me that has worked for you in healing the feelings of self worth and self esteem issues?
Men that need to test you are narcissistic, run away as fast as you can... these tests are about your loyalty, about how you will meet his needs. If he needs his needs met he should to move back home to his mother. A relationship is also about you. A guy that makes it all about him will discard you once you are no longer making him happy... Move on! NEXT! Make yourself happy and the right people will gravitate toward you and you'll have a balanced relationship x
But then the next man will be the same way b/c nearly all men tend to lean towards the narcissistic side.....just varying degrees. It's such a hassle ugh
Love is love and you either know if someone is relationship material or not - you just click, you get excited to see them and you don't need to think about it. You get butterflies and giddy, and you're walking on air... you wait with baited breath to hear from them and the world seems like a beautiful and amazing place, you have a new zest for life and you want to step right up in every aspect of life and be your best version... that's how you know the person is right for you! DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT GO AROUND DATING 6 DIFFERENT PEOPLE AT ONCE - this will only confuse you. It might be great for your ego to date 6 people at once but love is not about ego. If you're looking for REAL LOVE you need to ditch your ego. The Soul Only Knows Love, The Ego Criticizes. If two people are right for each other they will be highly compatible and share similar long-term life goals. Tip Numero Uno: Don't chase people, chase your dreams and make yourself happy - when you are HAPPY and blissing out on fulfilling your dreams you shine so bloody bright that other people are drawn to you, THE RIGHT PEOPLE ARE DRAWN TO YOU - and you discover you have similar passions and long-term goals. If you are testing people, check in with yourself and your ego, if they are testing you, RUN... 🙏😇❤️
@@MsGlamourcat Yeah I've been crazy in love.....I know exactly what it feels like. I'm not really a "serial dater" tbh I just don't enjoy spending time with people I'm not that into and its rare that I'm really THAT into someone. Dating 6 people at once sounds scary for someone like myself who is rather lowkey lol I never chase, I just won't do it but I will admit that I won't mostly out of pride. I am happy on my own and I'd much rather be on my own than to be with someone just because I can't be alone.I know people like that. They can't be alone and they jump from relationship to relationship. It's usually a long while between relationships for me. Tbh, I'm not even looking for anything with anyone....this vid just came up on the sidebar and I decided to listen to it lol
@@Fiiii4567 if you’re doing this it shows me that you’re thinking too much and not being yourself just trying to fit into sth. That is supposedly right or wrong instead of first seeing the person in front of you
Good, I met my ex-on a matrimonial website and we vibe and started off very good . He has been very caring and considerate of what I think and what are my expectations.. but even before meeting him cause we live in different cities in Australia.. he lives in Melbourne im in Adelaide and we got some border restrictions for the past few months.. we we were unable to meet for 3 months in the begaining of our relationship.. he would text me daily and call me he said he likes to listen to me, but he slowly started asking physical stuff what I know what I dont.. he would bring up the conversation sometimes.. but he said he is not looking for physical intimacy but looking for honest wife.. in May, we had our Eid festival.. and he asked me why would I want as a gift from him.. I didn't say a word and said I don't need any .. I asked him the same question.. and he showed interest in watches and then all of a sudden he wanted an Apple watch from me as a gift.. I bought that as a present for him.. I flew and went to meet him.. cause if was to come to ADELAIDE he had to isolate for 14 days and his work will get affected.. so I went to meet him , we stayed in a hotel room but thank Godness we didn't do anything. He wanted that but I refused.. and he was fine with that he said he will not force or push me for it until im comfortable with him.. next day he dropped me at the airport..everything was very nice and dreamy.. I came back home and he asked for financial assistance from me.. $2000 .. he said he would return me before my next trimester fee is due.. He then liked an overall coat and wished for it.i had to buy that for him cause he would just indirectly points how how great the coat is.. In August on our 2nd eid festival he sent me a perfume gift pack worth $119. Later on ,he stated saying and whinning about his birthday that's 2 months away. He said he would ask for gift . And I was like alright.. for 8 months we were in a relationship..he said he would talk to his parents but if they don't agree we would not go against them. On my side my family knows my brother knows that I am interested in a guy and we to daily.. he would say he missed me.. he said he is waiting for border to open and he would come meet me.. I waited patiently.. I had asked him if his friends know about me if his family knows about me .. he said no not at this stage.. I sent him a birthday cake and gift on his birthday, an Airpods Pro .. he wished for.. he told me everything about his parents and his family and friends and his job where he works and everything.. his relationship with his family and his friends.. all .. but after a week from his birthday.. he blocked me from everything his fb, his contact no his What'sApp.. everything..! I was thinking the whole time what I did wrong i have been waiting that he will tell his patrons by the end of December.. he was the kind of guy who would correct me in my English grammar mistakes.. he is a professional lawyer.. I cried alot! I left him so many msgs , voice mails and called 100 times but he never responded. After 8 days he unblocked me and texted that he is sorry for what he did and he had no choice and wished me luck.. he said not to ask reason why he acted this way.. I asked him my money back he never responded.. my brother tried Calling him and told him you flirted with my sister and return her money back.. he cut my brother's call. And call me back asking why I told him about our relationship and he told me he got engaged with some other girl of his family choice and asked me not to contact again and said would return my money and apologised that he couldn't do anything!!.. he hurt me in every possible sense.. I never got my money back and I'm still blocked.. all this time I blamed myself that may be I did something and I upset him. I always try to keep him happy. I was honest and loyal and loved him genuinely. He told me twice he don't wanna loose me, he said his decision for me was right and he wanted me as a life partner.. I wont be able to trust anyone.. I felt used i cry to bed every night thinking how can a person do something like this.. it will take hell of time to heal I know.. but I just don't understand that was it all fake planned ? He actually got engaged or was that a lie.??
Hi baby Am Ben easygoing person I like good and do good I like friends that have understanding and fun to be with I love arts, museum and music l lunch luxury every Eve I compose poem and scripts am a civil engineer and a contractor I work for company and I work in Asia,africa,and Europe I need a woman who understands What love is all about, to be my own I saw your picture and I am impressed you're beautiful and baby you shines like a diamond springs In Sky nicely like flowers in the garden of Eden's I close my eyes all I is you at first sight I felt the energy of Sun rays angel'wings written love on it I love you so much baby I want a wonderful woman will love me and know who I am and be mine forever i hope You will reply soonest thanks
Agreed. Looking after your parents and children are the only thing worthwhile in terms of relationships in this world. Nowadays, you can also have children without being stuck in a so-called "romantic" relationship.
I’m happy you are choosing this way of life but we are made to be with someone else so I am sad you haven’t found that one special person in your life! 🙏🏻
Sarcasm is the start of a possible abusive relationship or signs of his own insecurities. For example, he is saying things in a funny way about your weight. It is a sign that he may have had issues with his own weight or he saw women in his family as having weight problems. Immediately go the other way, this will not be good.
It can also mean he saw first hand the effects of the problem and wants to help you solve it , so he tries to put it in the least hurtful way he can. Intent can change depending on the person's interpretation, please try and understand the other side.
Awesome video! My ex boyfriend dumped me via texted and tried to bait me into an argument. I never replied and that was 3 days ago. It hurts but I value myself too much to let him treat me any kind of way !!! Thanks a lot for the advice
I feel you. My husband broke up w me via text when i had to leave the country when i went to visit my mum for a few months. He gave me a lame ezcuse that it was my fault for leaving. Wtf i was coming back i just had to check on my mums health. But nooo he cheated on me with a masseus and even brought her to our hpuse on christmas. Husband or boyfriend this is unacceptable. Some people have no morals. I thought i knew him well. Pppffftttt karma will get him. I cant waste time. But hes left me in financial difficulty.
Omg! My ex did the same thing. He broke up with me through a text message said it was God telling him to and that he fell out of romantic feelings for me while I was out of state! That was almost a year ago and I've been single ever since because I'm finding who I am again. We'd been together for 11 months when he broke it off
The sarcasm aspect can work in any type of relationship, not just romantic. My bfs brother says sarcastic mean things to me and his brother all the time and he thinks it’s funny. I absolutely hate sarcastic people in the form that bullies and puts another person down. I would never date someone like that, it’s a huge turn off. Thanks for the empowering and enlightening video. It makes me feel not so alone all the times I’ve dealt with that. Even guys I met online for just friends would try to turn things into more and cross that boundary. And even when you tell them they still don’t stop. I just don’t know why people pretend to be something they are not in the beginning. Eventually the truth will come out and they can’t keep up the act forever. So frustrating
Everytime!!!! It's so common I got desensitized and even a bit tolerant especially when I found the guy to be attractive. Truly awful. Never let down your guard. Even after marriage!!
@ggg whatev women constantly s hit test men. They'll ask, "Does this make me look fat?" "Do I look good in this." To say "confident" women don't ever shit test men is utter BS. And I bet confident Brenda up there constantly shit tests her man while projecting men that test her are insecure.
Get down off your high horse love! It's USUALLY how to win HER over!!! And that is exactly why dating is as dead as disco. So much low quality and entitled women with that exact attitude that the trust has been trampled on. Golddigging. Over testing. Solipsism. Long 50 box checklists...the list literally does go on and on!
Oh dear! I really needed to be reminded of all those things. Thank you. I've clearly let the guys I've been in relationships with, treat me like shit, but in their subtle narcissistic undermining way. And when I finally realize & accept what's going on, have I left them? No. Stupid me. I'm in yet another waste of time relationship, not being respected. I care too much, give to much & accept too much for my good. I need to respect myself more & not let myself be treated as a convenience. Alas, old habits of being mentally abused & thereby losing self esteem & confidence, die hard. I'm grateful to watch your videos to remind me of what I need to look out for.
kazrikt i understand you. I was in a very mentally abusive narcissistic relationship. I finally divorced him. Met someone new who seemed perfect but is leading me down the wrong path again. My head says run. I've learned to love myself. But my heart wants to feel love. It is a codependent nature to want to be with someone even if it means being in an abusive relationship. I'm in the process of being discarded. Sucks. But i wouldn't leave on my own. I still have work to do on me obviously. I wish you the very best.
@@karlascott3569 Thanks for your reply. I'm sad the same is happening to you but also it's good to know you're not the only one caught up in abusive love relationships. There are millions of us & I think the numbers are growing constantly as more & more people have become so selfish, self absorbed, narcissistic & also more immoral. It's definitely a sign of the times we now live in. I once would have said that generally most people are good, kind & willing to help others, but not now. People have become the opposite. I'm not stating this from my own personal relationship experiences but more from living life over the years, watching people, friends, other's families, society in general & people have just morally declined en masse. It's really hard to find a decent guy, let alone be in a good loving, kind, accepting & respectful relationship! I'm 60 now & keep one eye open & my mind open to possibilities because I still believe in love. Maybe I'm just brain washed into that forever & ever thing, but when I love someone I accept them for who they are, flaws & all. None of us are perfect. Until in the end, I'm worn out from their verbal mental, undeserved abuse, be it months, a year or even 18 yrs as per my ex husband 7 years ago. My current relationship is also no good. Sometimes I think this is it, not a second more, leave, don't ever communicate again. Then after a week I'm thinking of some of his good but rare qualities that I admire & of the times spent together when everything is ok. Then I decide to stay with the "devil I know". Haha. Sad isn't it. I can enjoy my own company but I do prefer & want to share my life with another. After all isn't that how we were made to be? But I'm still looking.....
kazrikt I’ve been through abuse myself. And when u go through it for years you feel that’s a mans way of showing u they love u. I had to step back and really wake up !!! There is NO MAN worth a Valuable woman such as yourself if he treats u in that manner! Don’t waist your time or your life on low life immature men that have to use physical harm just to prove there weak or that they can destroy you mentally !! Your A Valuable Person within-side yourself your beautiful, smart, and you have the Strength to Know When to Say you have had enough and Deserve The Best!! Once you except that and not lower yourself to such punks . You will see the world in a whole different way! And please please ask yourself what is it that has attracted u to the guy u dated or had a relationship. Once u know the answer then avoid the guys with that same attraction. Because usually when women are attracted to a guy in a certain way that attraction isn’t always a good thing. So Hold your head up high, walk with dignity and be proud of who You are. Your a Special Person! Never forget that...
@@apoloniaayala6118 Thank you for your kind & true words. I appreciate that you took the time to read what I'd written. I do know now that what these particular men do is wrong & abusive & that it's a big power trip to them. However I also know that not all men act like this. I've heard of some lovely men, who'd do anything to protect & respect their woman. I've even met one or two myself, but was not attracted to them, just friends only. The rope I hang by is very short now, & I'm about to cut it soon. I've really had enough. I'm just working my brain up to it, telling it that I don't need this stupid half hearted relationship, if it can even be called that. I'm a good, strong, caring person & it's overdue time to look after me & be kind to myself. Don't worry, the end is close & I'm working on making big changes to my life. All the very best to you for your future, with love & peace. xoxo
I do consider myself a high value woman but I’m also a survivor of narcissistic parents so in my friendships and in the workplace I’m very quick to call out bullshit. With my family and intimate relationships Ive turned into this other person who is conditioned to be compliant so I won’t be abandoned. I’ve recently learned that it’s worse to abandon myself than be abandoned by losers
It’s been nothing but heartache...every single time. I believe love is not on the cards for everyone and once you realise this and accept it, you can free yourself from ever expecting anything from anyone..love yourself and invest in yourself. You won’t let yourself down at the end of the day ✨
My grandfather used to say "he who expected nothing is never disappointed". But please don't write off the possibility that someone may surprise you one day, when you least expect it.
@@aytenali6351. I have been thinking of you. I went through more than a decade in the wasteland. I eventually found someone who said he loved me but really he was afraid to know me. I am alone, older. Beware of men with hidden agendas, I was always amazed at the number of liars encountered! I have found comfort in keeping myself well informed, especially newspapers as they remind me of the realities of life for other people, the broader picture. All is not lost, there are advantages to the solo life as well :-) Best Wishes.
That in itself is a test for me to him. I dont want a man with female friends. Its okay to be friendly but no texting,emails,phone calls chatting away at nothing
@Annie Brunet , self confidence shows up without tests. If he mentions a third party he is triangulating. Red flag !!! narcissistic psychopath sociopath , preschooler... run ! A man who wants only one woman gives her his full attention . Period.
I agree about having standards. As a nurse, I could hug or kiss the man I married, but I choose sexual activity only in a committed relationship...aka marriage.💖I know my 🌹beauty and 💎value as a smart, moral, caring lady.
@blooming orchid Doing well.. keep it up. Even though I teach Tantra. I do not have any sexual relationship outside marriage. I try to teach our female clients. Value yourself and do not be manipulated.
@@natalierullmanward9137 probably gets a lot of offers and sees a lot.. We do in the Spa industry and as a Physiotherapist. High professional standards you develop help you also apply them in your private life.
Hey just some advice: we Men are willing to get away with whatever you're willing to put up with. EDIT: To clarify, set reasonable boundaries. Reasonable is the key word; if you're ok with "anything" we'll do anything.
Birthnote True. That’s what parents should tell their daughters about to avoid lots of suffering in the first decade of them dating. We can’t afford being stupid as we are, to be honest 😂
@@hannahscott6604 you women are no better all the nice good guys get passed up so you can get passed around by the men you say you don't like or want but that does not stop you from sleeping with them. So the good men have become the new bad boys in order to become a winners you must first be a loser.
Birthnote An immature man will have that attitude. A man’s character doesn’t change based on the company he keeps. If you are the kind of man who wants to see what you can get away with, then you will probably do that with every woman you are with because that is in your nature. You just might hide the bad behavior with a woman you care about.
The part of sarcasms is so true! And when you say that "you are training him" with your laugh, you are saying, also, that if you accept everything he does, and don't put any bounders it's the star of abusive relationships. Relationships that make both parts sick and with a distortion of themselves.
I would much prefer to say no to a guy who initiates sexually rather than waiting forever, not knowing if he's attracted in the first place. I don't want to be the one to wait.
oh...i just forced him into the friend zone by telling him no softly and saying silly answers to his weird questions like where I am...im in a house under a roof, send me a pic, *sends Shrek meme*.. and now we are okay friends
I stopped dating this guy because even though he was a gentleman he also was very condescending. I felt like a Moron. I started to question my level of intelligence.
Pry ServantOfChrist same. He tries to lower my self esteem, like if I send a picture, he’ll tell me what I could have done better, instead of complementing the pic and if I say anything he’ll ignore me for the whole day. Very passive aggressive and mentally Abusive. I dropped him
I think the original poster meant that if just meeting for a first date, if they want to get in your pants right away. Run the other way. A real man is a gentleman and will control himself for the first two dates at least. Wise people know it’s better when you build the energy, to grow the relationship in order to establish a healthy and long lasting love partnership. The way you all responded to this op you could be predators yourself. Possibly you’re not conscious of it. Why did you even watch this video?
This video really helped me to see that I wasn't being too much or mean for no reason. As he kept saying he's a good guy but his action didn't measure up.
Healthy self esteem is the key. You don’t owe anyone anything or an explanation. Set standards and refuse to be manipulated and disrespected. I wish I’d learned this 40+ years ago.
-Psychopath, -narcissist, -borderline personality, -histrionics personality, these 4 cluster B personality people are usually dramatic. Research and learn about these 4 personality types. Otherwise you can get into a toxic and seriously damaging relationship, be it a romantic one or not.
Omg so many women equate sex and physical attraction to attention and love. I wish every woman could see this video. I preach these ideals to my online women’s group all the time and in full disclosure, some of it I was guilty of in my youth. I’m def going to share this. Really good stuff.
Yup. And likewise, it is asinine the amount of *MEN* who expect women to use sex as a bargaining chip during courtship. Meaning: if women give up sex _too soon,_ she's deemed "easy", and thus... _a whore._ But if she makes him wait _too much,_ then she's either a tease, she's _playing hard to get,_ or she's just _uptight._ At times, women can't win. The best thing women can do is: either just go with the flow (either do it _right away_ ), or just don't do it at all.
Those are tests? Well, the last man who veiled insults as jokes got ghosted immediately, instantly kicked to the curb. Same goes for the last man who tried to get physical too quickly. I don't tolerate nonsense. In my book, those aren't tests, they're deal-breakers. Thanks for the info, however. Very interesting and educational.
Loved your video. That's exactly what I needed. On one hand my partner writes to me that I am like a Goddess to him...and an hour later he is verbally abusing me, calling me names, accusing me of some stupid imaginary things and bangs the phone down. He did this to me again yesterday. Earlier I used to call him, text him, explain to him but this time I have done neither.....I am just maintaining my SILENCE
Yea men test too much till i also lose interest in them. Its like men just keep playing games and expect women to open up at the drop of a hat. Wonder if they are alwayz in a mode of obliging than genuinely caring.
MissBlu923 decent people won’t treat you like a shit even when they know you doubt yourself or something people who are not decent will take advantage of your kindness I won’t change for them I am who I am and they can gtfo
Every long term relationship I have ever had, has begun with a strong foundation, i.e. friendship. Waiting for sex creates chemistry and compassion and makes it all the better! Sarcasm=a form of GASLIGHTING
My bf used to do these "tests" unconsiously early on in the relationship. Nevertheless I have always told him my standards. I got very angry and defensive times he didn't act the way I expected him to, to the extend that I would have quickly left him if he didn't change his behavior. He was surely aware of that. All the way down he always cared for me and I didn't let these flaws destroy the Rs without any chance because he understood my point of view and showed me respect, more and more over time. It is because I vocalized really clearly my standards and he adapted fortunatly. Now I am very satisfied and happy with the man he has become over the past two years. Today I am proud we could work it out.
@chezlip , It means you have nothing to do and want to be treated like queen. If you will be free all the time , situation will arrive when you both will get stuck into awkward situation. you think too much in wrong way. be realistic.
@@atulpandey455 No I dont expect to be treated like a queen neither do I expect a thing from anyone,I mirror people so if you're nice to me, I'am nice back ect .So if you deliberately upset someone it speaks volumes about you..Besides I rarely get upset by idiots.I was hypothetically speaking.
hey bae , Listen ! You don't mirror or anything ! you just look for only what is best for you. You do business . You are so nice and kind. I love you❤️
Same here, since 2010. I am heterosexual and I won't be intimate with a man unless there is a good relationship foundation. I want desire to build up and I want to know the man and there should be commitment within a stable relationship first.
I will not interact sexually with any guy unless we are married to each other. I'm extremely fertile. It's not worth that risk, also not worth the risk of feeling used & getting hurt ever again. I'm very happy being single. I will always be the type of woman who needs a man, yet, not just any man. Very few make me feel attracted to them.
I usually laugh a bit when I'm feeling uncomfortable with a guy so that I'm not being rude with him ......Now i get why it's SOOOO.......WRONG and it explains a lot about their reactions afterwards . Really helpful thanks 💕
Hi baby Am Ben easygoing person I like good and do good I like friends that have understanding and fun to be with I love arts, museum and music l lunch luxury every Eve I compose poem and scripts am a civil engineer and a contractor I work for company and I work in Asia,africa,and Europe I need a woman who understands What love is all about, to be my own I saw your picture and I am impressed you're beautiful and baby you shines like a diamond springs In Sky nicely like flowers in the garden of Eden's I close my eyes all I is you at first sight I felt the energy of Sun rays angel'wings written love on it I love you so much baby I want a wonderful woman will love me and know who I am and be mine forever i hope You will reply soonest thanks
Really like that he said sarcasm is passive aggression and the beginning the being verbally abused. I have a family member that does this and it's beginning to really turn me off. I dislike men who feels that women are beneath them and have no say!
I'm always testing guys so they don't waste my time. My technique, ask them about their passions in life and a bunch of weird shit that you may be into. That usually sends them running for the hills until Mr. Right comes along.
I do all of this since I’m young. I could be a relationship expert myself and guess what I’m still single. And I’m okay with that. I won’t settle down for less than what I deserve. I wasn’t born to be someone’s slave.
every single one of the 3 tests you mentioned are TRUE. i have experienced them first hand and it has always been that guy who is just wanting to have fun but pretend they are looking for a long term relationship. i got out it and ran fast the opposite way
This is so true. Especially with guys sending their ‘tests’ by text to try and gauge your status / value and self esteem. I only respond to texts that I really like and enjoy reading. I simply ignore the others until men start to try much harder and learn my rules and standards. Thank you Jason for all your guidance, I share it with my 5 teenage girls xxxxx
You’re not kidding about sarcasm.. The syrupy kind is the worst! Also ladies, please don’t ignore these elements and hope or think that he will be different with a little time.. Just like Jason said, it only escalates!!❤️
It is fantastic to have this information. When I was young, there was no internet, no worldwide communication about common issues, like how to create high-quality relationships.
Yes, but the same sweetness and beauty will likely to attract the same kind of men ... What I mean is, if you want good men, don't relay mainly on just that to attract men maybe
This wasn't what I was expecting at all! I thought I was going to be listening to a completely different kind of video. But boy I'm so glad to hear a guy talking about this! Yaaaaay!!! I just subscribed!!!!
Yep, they're there, too. Looking for the nice girls they can take advantage of, those narcissists look for the empaths that will give their everything to the relationship, and then they just use them! Been there.
