How To Make People Respect You If You’re Quiet 

Confidence isn’t “I know they’ll like me”, it’s “I’m okay if they don’t”.

My special ability is turning anxiety into severe diarrhea.

“Are you asking me about my sexuality?….why?” So simple but the message it delivers, resonates right away of basically saying “stop being nosey mind yo damn business!”

As a sober alcoholic, I can tell you that recovering alcoholics and addicts who have gone to AA/NA or something like that are often used to sharing very personal details of our lives. People have often thanked me for being so honest when I didn't realize I was telling them anything unusual. We just get used to not hiding our faults, because we have to do it to survive. I can get up in front of anyone and speak truthfully because of recovery, no fear. I've learned that everyone is screwed up, so people don't scare me. Tom reminds me of lots of addicts I've met. And lots of guys I knew in the army. People in acceptance of the situation.

Why do i feel like im studying to become a human lol

Step 1: Be born in the darkness, be moulded by it. Don’t see the light until you’re a man and by which time it is only blinding.

“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.” Anything is possible

I like how all of these tips come down to “Just be yourself and love it”. That really is the base of most social problems

Best piece of advice my therapist gave me as a young anxious man. Stop concentrating on how your feeling/thinking and pay attention to what the person is actually saying and THEIR body language. Takes a bit of practice but it pulls you out of your head and allows you to start being more relaxed, authentic and socially confident. You'll start noticing other people's little signals and it'll help connect you to them much quicker.

1) Be willing to polarize- Accept that some people won't like you. 2) Allow yourself to have authentic reactions- Instead of focusing on if they like you, focus on if you like them. 3) Stop trying to look flawless- You can't be perfect all the time so yeah, just be you. 4) The shadow rule- Sharing your imperfections, will slowly build more confidence in yourself. 5) Prioritize your own comfort 6) Don't let your fears hold back

Believing that no matter what happens you’re going to be fine anyway is always a great mindset to have

I was a chronic people pleaser. As I grow older I have learned to care less about what people think about me and care more about people. It's incredibly freeing. It's really helped me to take the focus off of me and put it on others.

When you can control your anxiety, you can own the room

*5 things to quit right now:* *1. Overthinking* *2. Trying to make everyone happy* *3. Living in the past* *4. Worrying* *5. Doubting yourself*

Went from not sure about how I feel about Tom Hardy to loving and being a huge fan REAL quick. Excellent video.

Most memorable advise I was gifted was, if I am worried about what others think of me, chances are, 70% of the room are worried about the same thing. Instead of trying to be "Interesting" to others (causes anxiety), Start being "Interested" in others (creates confidence and, the right people will like and respect you for it)

The part where he says, "Not being in control, not knowing, anticipation, waiting for something to go wrong." That's how I feel.

Well, the thing basicaly is: be introverted, but don't be shy. Kind of simplistic, but it's true. When I was a teenager, I was insecure over the fact that I was shy and introverted, and so I started trying to be more extroverted. Guess what, it made me more insecure and more unconfortable with social situations. But through some social exposure over the years I understood that my problem was, specifically, being shy, and not the introversion. I understood that it's perfectly fine to be introverted, as long as you are able to do what you have to do, socially speaking. Over the years I developed confidence in myself from investing my time in what I like and focusing on what I think is right instead on other people's opinions. I was honest about what I liked and what I disliked. In my teenage years, if someone invited me to a party I would accept it and go there pretending that I liked it, or would accept it and give up right before going there. Nowadays if someone invites me to a party I just say: "No thanks, I don't like parties" and, as counterintuitive as it may seem, aparentely people started to feel more interested in me and I had better social relationships. Because I did get more interesting, I was investing my time in what I believed to be important, and everyone wants to have people who are true and genuine around. So if someone introverted is reading this, my advice is: maybe your problem is not really the introvertion, but the shyness. And you get rid of that by setting your priorities straight. Stop focusing on that and go build your life, that will help.

Something I learned after I joined the military (though the military didn't teach me this): when you feel fear or anxiety, acknowledge it in words with plain emotion either out loud or in your head, then push through it anyway. It gets easier over time.

My Dad is exactly like this, he is really honest with who he likes, and with himself. He is comfortable wherever he goes. Sadly i am not like this since i overthink too much Thank you for these videos man. Really helps, even just a bit

It is so important to live FULLY and AUTHENTICALLY in all parts of our lives! We are the only ones keeping ourselves from truly living by letting our fears hold us back...it's time to live more and fear less!!

Honestly surprised that tom hardy struggles with anxiety . He seems like he is the one alpha males try to impress. I can totally identify with him due to my own qwerks. This video helped me understand a bit more of myself . I know I'm different but I didn't know that I had subconsciously followed this format to make up for my weak points . Side note people don't have to like you to respect , or even work with you. if they feel your presence they will respect you . Be open minded and firm but not arrogant

I have massive respect and compassion for Tom's struggle with Social Anxiety. Went through my adolescence with it and again during the last couple of years. It's excruciating. Brilliant tactics and inspiration from Tom and you guys! Will definately be rewatching this video in the future 😊📹

This hit me deep fr. I’ve been struggling with public speaking for as long as I can remember (I’m 29) doesn’t matter how big or small the group is or how well I know or don’t know them, but you put me in front to speak and I shut down, my eyes feel like they water, my voice isn’t deep, my heart rate beats like no tomorrow, constant gulping/swallowing reaction, and I’m just tired of it. Completely tired of feeling like this and ready to overcome it. One day this nightmare of mine will be completely put to rest 💯

Great vid!! Tom Hardy seems like a definite introvert! I reckon people like him because he's vulnerable and honest and unapologetically himself, without being concerned about what others think of him. We can definitely take a lot of tips from him! 😊✌️ EDIT: the point about feeling physically comfortable is so important! Allows you to feel more at ease and feel like you belong in the situation! So take off the jacket, eat the chocolate chips! People don’t generally mind unless you’re actively rude and they don’t judge us nearly as harshly as we judge ourselves - beware the spotlight effect! If we’re comfortable in ourselves, people will naturally be drawn to us!!

You'll watch an entire Netflix show even when the first episodes are slow and boring just because someone told you "it gets better." *But what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead?*

Lil tidbit that might help. Psychologist found that the same "butterlies in the stomach" experienced by someone about to public speak, is the same emotional response as an athlete before their game; Only difference is that one labels it as nervous, and the other labels it as Hype. Moral of the Story: If youre feeling nervous, breathe and imagine youre an athlete excited for their game. (or similar situation relevant to you)

This video just changed my life and broke down a barrier I have had for years. Thank you, so much.

To fans of Tom I highly recommend watching Locke if you haven't already. To some it may seem like 90 minutes of him driving on the highway while taking on his mobile but that film really demonstrates his acting prowess. Probably my favorite film he starred in next to Bronson.

I always like tom hardy, one of the most underrated actors, his personality and style always attracts people. Be like Tom, be yourself.

As someone with crippling social anxiety who just went through therapy, this video is on point! I'm able to be myself around literally anyone after doing this stuff

Being attractive is the main factor. Every interaction you have will be different just based on your looks

Bit tragic that we need a step by step instructional to teach us how to be ourselves…

In short : “BE YOURSELF” .

I’m recent years Ive gone from fear of talking to people to being able to just go with whatever I don’t truly know how I did it but this actually feels like how I did it, I wanted to be more of myself in person to others so I tried as hard as I could and embraced my flaws and turned them into by humour and truths

This may have been the most influential video I've seen in a long while, as far as my personal development goes.

I think this is why I love him so..... A Life Backwards is one of the best films I have ever seen and I laughed and cried within moments of eachother. I like people based on thier characters they pick. People willing to go dark are honest and can handle demons. Fluff people are the ones you should worry about.... lol This also happens to be how I treat people.

This video was perfect. Anxiety being my biggest hurdle in life and Tom being one of my favorite actors and people it really sunk in. Thank you

I love Tom Hardy, he is so soft spoken and just oooh-la-la. 🥰

“Lying about your imperfections may seem easier in the short term, but it will wreck your self-esteem because you’re telling yourself that you’re not good enough.“ @5:31 Very insightful!

I really appreciate this video, especially about how owning up to your imperfections makes you feel that you are great as you are. Thank you.

Gaaawd I wish this video was hours long. So helpful and relevant to me right now.

I wanted to watch this to see if there are any ways to bring me more comfort in dealing with people.. not realizing I already carry all these behaviours naturally- this is just a reminder of why people always thought I was cool when I never understood what they really saw. It's the beauty of being genuine. That's the root of it. 🌺

Thank you so much for producing this content for free, you're amazing!

*"When something is important enough for you, you do it even if the odds are against you."* I hope this message helps you. 🙂

This channel is improving in a massive way and I'm glad to see! Always enjoyed the content over the years yet innovation is always welcomed

I don’t have a problem with being in public and talking to people. But I love to watch stuff like this just to strengthen my ability to socialize better

Tom Hardy is a Legend. He is definitely my favourite Actor. He is so humble by just being him

I literally just had an online presentation before this video uploaded. I made sure to turn off the camera before I went and took slow deep breaths. That helped calm down my erratic heartbeat so much and my group crushed the presentation 😎👌

I have the opposite problem of having way too authentic reactions. Side note: I don’t think being open and comfortable with your shadow doesn’t really work that well if you’ve got some seriously messed up stuff in your head. The deeper you dive into your shadow the darker the shadow gets. So if you’ve been exposed way too much of your shadow, whether through trauma or just exploring your mind without the mental fortitude or maturity to handle it, it can be a serious problem that is definitely not something you want to be open and comfortable with.

Seeing if you like others and not if others like you is one of the best advice I've ever heard. For most of my life I cared too much if others liked me. Thank you!

This is how I went from a "Quiet Kid" to an overly social teenager. First, I started out in elementary school, having a handful of friends I stuck to. I didn't try to make any friends, and that was my biggest mistake. Once I reached middleschool, i realized it honestly didn't matter what people thought, be yourself, don't be obnoxious, analyze your situation and bend the atmosphere to that. I went from a an antisocial kid, to a popular teenager by following these simple rules I'll state here. Be yourself, at the end of the day those you try to impress wont matter. Don't try too hard, if they arent liking your vibes, move along. Keep the relationships steady, If someone interacts with you, keep it up! dont wait for them to approach you. Goodluck.

This honestly helped a lot because i have extremely bad anxiety to the point that i will shake and start stuttering, so having tips like this with real life examples is so useful. Some of my friends even mentioned that they have noticed ive been getting better at keeping my composure since i began practicing these things🤞🤞

Would love to see a charisma breakdown on Jack Harlow!!!

Thank you! Have a nice day everyone!!! Stay safe and keep calm.

I was very fortunate to learn this very early in life and can tell you that it works wonders in job interviews. When you go for a job interview, remind yourself that you are there to see if the company is a good fit for you, not the other way around. You'll find yourself asking the right questions and you'll come across more confident and capable too.

I love what you say about accepting and being honest about your imperfections. But I think the confidence comes from "I'm working on improving myself" rather than "I'm perfect as I am". Great video overall 👌

FANTASTIC VIDEO!! I'm an Introvert and TOTALLY get a LOT of this video! VERY Valid Points! It can be difficult NOT BEING IN CONTROL sometimes but we all must LET GO of certain things in order to grow!

After watching this video I realize I was polarizing a few years ago (unintentionally, and it was working great for a while!). When socializing, they have to prove who they are to you, not the other way around. You do this by being honest and not wavering in your opinions. Honestly, I went from introvert to what seemed like an extrovert at work and outside of work for about a year straight, maybe longer until life got messy... NOW the downsides to this, it is difficult to suddenly be the center of attention, you attract a TON of assholes, and sort of put a bullseye on your back for narcissists who cannot stand someone with self-confidence and the ability to have their own opinion. You wind up inadvertently attracting negative attention as well as positive attention. This strategy really opens the door for humor in life as well (after all, when you are an open book, it's much easier to be funny or charming!). HOWEVER, for anyone suffering with debilitating social anxiety, with therapy this can be an incredible tool!

I used to be really quiet and shy, but I watched this channel for years and slowly I have become someone that is known for being friendly, extroverted, and confident. It took forever and I didn’t think it’d ever come, but i’m living proof of fake it till you make it

Enjoyed this one. Loved how he was eating chocolate mid-interview. I continue to grow my tools of confidence thanks to your channel (and others). Honestly, thanks to the growth I have gone through, I am now happy to accept that I am a soft-hearted guy. However, I overcome that, and I openly admit to people that I am sensitive. If they think less of me cause I have a big heart but can be strong, that's their issue, not mine (anymore). :-)

Really nice and well made video! Allowing to become the most authentic representation of yourself is really the key to confidence.

He is a great actor and always seems like he would be an interesting person to talk to.

thats why we love Tom Hardy.....always felt connected to him coz his authenticity

Yooo we need a Norm MacDonald charisma breakdown, the guy is hilarious and has mastered the comedic pause. A little rest in peace video about him would be awesome right now Thanks 🙏

You know. I didn't think this would be helpful. I started watching it because I love Tom. I have to say, after watching, this was very helpful. Thank you.

Thank you for this i will apply this for my self and teach it to others.

You know what, I’m 50 and struggled my whole life. This is solid advice I might try using. I’ve done it before a few times, it’s time to go again. It did go well for me historically, I need to maintain it. Thankyou 👍🏼

It's amazing how charisma on command can produce good content and at the same time market their product

The best quote for confidence for me is from Neil Gaiman I think, “Being brave doesn’t mean you’re not scared, it means you do it anyways.”

Great point made here, very helpful thank you

I like his look and attitude. He was a great example for this video. Thank you for sharing!

After watching this I feel a lot better about myself cause I do these things without realizing it just cause it makes me feel better knowing I'm being myself and not coming off as rude towards other people to the best of my ability even if they feel that way I have my life they have theirs and neither of us can say we know why something was said the way it was said to each other (no assumptions) unless we, in a healthy way ask straight up and until that happens imma do me

You should do breakdown on Raymond Reddington from The Blacklist, he is extremely charismatic and always maintains dominant frame

This is very true as some who experiences a lot of fear. The fear never goes away but you develop ways to redirect it or calm it down 😊

Have shared my imperfections for years and my anxiety and fear and all of the imperfections are still bad and there.

"Stop treating conversations like a one-sided tryout" something just clicked for me right there

where can i get to purchase shrooms/microdosing caps for anxiety and depression? medications dont work at all

The idea of not trying to impress people, or wondering if they like you and instead thinking "I'm excited to see if I will like them" is actually really poggers advice

I would have added the saying " It is, what it is ". Accepting that things may not go as well as you want them to really makes you feel more comfortable

Perfect timing! Got a date in a couple days, it’s my first one since Covid hit and the anxiety that I had worked so hard to get over is back again 😔

But I'm shaking for the first few minutes of the conversation and can’t breathe. I don't know how to stop it.

Thank you for these videos, they really help a lot!

Thanks for this video, man!

I overcame anxiety by believing I was someone without it, same with low self-esteem and confidence.

I love Tom Hardy, I consider myself straight but I reckon if I went the other way, he'd be the one 😂 such a good relatable man that had a rough life turned himself around and now he's one of the top men in TV hollywood anything

i cant stress how much better/easier life gets for you when you successfully get yourself into the mindset of not caring what other people think about you. it's something i legit wish i could share with people.

Things that I have to get out of my head is that being perceived as attractive or ugly has nothing to do with a person's confidence, it certainly can effect a person's confidence in themselves, but when I was younger I had this perception that attractive people can't feel insecure or be anxious. I have grown out of this mentality but it's nice hearing about famous peoples struggles with their own anxiety and what they do to cope/handle it. As someone who is also a terrible conversationalist, I have this tendency to avoid interactions in social situations because I have difficulties trying to start or maintain conversations, whilst I am interested in talking with other people and knowing what they're into, I have a hard time keeping the flow of topic and just talk to people, especially women. And after watching this video, I think it's because I'm too focused on whether or not the other person or group likes me or not.

I'm the same way, I still deal with the anxiety, but I am definitely polarizing and react to people based on my perception of them. If I don't care for someone and they tell a joke, I will just stare at them without cracking a smile. I can't imagine someone being able to change themselves into this unless if it's not their natural personality

Confidence is pretty much currency for people being nice to you

it's exactly what you say... I've developed all what you say gradually in years subconsciously.... That ability naturally improves as we often work together, meet new people, and the more we increase our knowledge of many things, of course, significantly raise our social skills to another level. The only thing that is a bit difficult and needs to be sharpened is the ability to speak in public, with a large and stranger audiences....

He is hella fine, smart, and funny! Love how open and honest he is. And that accent!

Could you do a video on Jack Harlow and his charisma and confidence. That would be absolutely brilliant if you could.

Tener reacciones auténticas a lo que digan/hagan otras personas, aunque no me lleve mucho con ellas, si no me hace gracia no me río... Si no pasará esto>3:25. Admitir tus miedos y ansiedad te libera de aparentar algo, como en 4:05, y así poder lograr> 5:04 IMPORTANTE: Mostrar tu ansiedad y tus miedos te hará más seguro, pq te subcomunicas que no necesitas ocultar partes de ti para ser aceptado por otra gente (5:27). 6:50> Primero va mi confort, yo tengo que estar bien, antes de que la gente me acepte o le caiga bien.

I needed to see this!! Thank you!!

I soooooooooo needed this video. A big big thank you🙏💕

Good video! I'm wondering if this channel will cover more fictional characters, and if I can make a suggestion. I think covering Raymond Reddington, the infamous International Crime Boss from the series The Blacklist would be a goldmine to illustrating points on how to control a conversation if need be without looking afraid or desperate. Nevertheless, good content.

Can you do one on Simu Liu? I honestly just find him so charismatic, and also he'd be timely for that algorithm money

This channel is a gem

These videos are actually helping me and my extreme social anxiety so much