4 Ways to Heal From Your Past (Traumatic Memories Part 2)

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Here’s the thing about trauma: even though the event happened in the past, we work with trauma in the present moment. It causes pain in the present moment, it changes your nervous system in the present moment. The hurt isn’t just “in the past” it’s right here, in your body and emotions right now. In the last video we talked about 4 ways traumatic memories differ from regular memories. In this video we’ll cover 4 ways you can work with those memories in the present moment so they don’t bother you so much.
When traumatic memories are integrated and consolidated, real healing can happen. This might look like someone being able to say “This terrible thing happened, but right now, I am safe”. And when they remember the event, they can calm their mind and body in the present moment. The memory becomes a memory instead of a flashback where they re-experience a terrible event as if it’s happening again.
As we talked about in the last video traumatic memories differ from regular memories in 4 ways:
They don’t naturally soften over time, they stay intense and vivid
Traumatic memories are often sensory- it FEELS like the event in sights, sounds, smells.
The passage of time is distorted-it feels like you’re living it over again in the present
They are often fragmented, they don’t follow a sequential order, some information may be missing or blocked
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In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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Опубликовано:

24 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 385

@pardisarjmandi8889 Год назад

What hurts me most about my past trauma is how I’m scared that people find out I have these issues or triggers and look down on me so I never share with anyone

@nisarosli Год назад

Yes I totally can relate to that. It's important to open up to the right person who makes you feel safe and is non-judgemental and accepts you for who you are. I hope one day you'll find that person 🧡

@dod608 Год назад

@@nisarosli thats makes you even stronger, trust that the universe will attract the compassionate people to you to share with, and feel safe among

@tonynewman597 Год назад

Hi Pardis, I can relate. I used to be the same way when I was younger. I hope and pray you will find someone you feel comfortable with. The 1st time I did EMDR, I physically felt a lot better. It was the 1st time I realized our body has a physical memory. Due to circumstances beyond my control, unfortunately throughout I the years, I did not get the professional help I needed & the PTSD turned into Non-Epileptic Seizures, which at times is not only mentally, but physically exhausting. By doing extensive research, to include throughout the years of extensive therapy, I am doing a lot better. I hope and pray you seek the help you need.

@tinag7506 Год назад

This is very true. Some people don't understand what I'm going through and why I react the way I do. There hasn't been many people who empathised with me effectively.

@zzkkkrjjeeeii Год назад

I used to feel that because I had toxic relationships. It’s very important finding good and safe people so that you can be vulnerable with!

@Fitnesswithyazz Год назад

There’s so much shame and guilt I have holding on . So much hurt from others in my young teenage years , physical and emotional abusive bf at age 14 . Rape at 14 . So much hit at a young age . So now I’m so emotionally damaged and sensitive , insecure and just not the same . It’s like I was sucked away .

@aayushdubey8432 2 месяца назад

We are there for you . Don't worry sis , everything will be alright

@brianhanes5413 2 месяца назад

Wasn't your fault, idc what anyone says

@___77r 3 дня назад

I wish you internal and psychological recovery. Remember that it happened and it ended, and you cannot go back to change or fix what happened there, but you can fix yourself and heal 💗💗💋

@sadistickitten Год назад

I've been writing a blog about my traumatic experiences as a kid. It's been very therapeutic for me. No one actually reads it but getting my story out there into works has helped me to get over those bad memories & move on from it.

@JordanHunter333 Год назад

What a brilliant idea! It strikes me as so much more tangible and healing to be writing for "listeners/readers", than for just myself in a journal. As you say, even if no one else ever reads it, it truly seems to change the energy of it. Thank you!

@sadistickitten Год назад

@@JordanHunter333 I've posted links for my friends to read it but they haven't & i get it, it's not exactly fun content. It's sad depressing stuff but for me, it feels good to purge those memories like they're free of me now & into the world

@JordanHunter333 Год назад

@@sadistickitten Yes, free of you, and out where they can be transmuted back to Light...my image and prayer when releasing the pain or darkness of the past. Blessings to you. 🙏

@sadistickitten Год назад

@@JordanHunter333 exactly, healthy purging of darkness. You too & ty

@JordanHunter333 Год назад

@@sadistickitten ❤🙏

@ivankovwink1311 Год назад

I just spent the last night crying over some traumatic events in my past and couldn't sleep until 6 am no matter how much I tossed and turned on the bed. Glad that this video showed up in my recs :)

@privateperson4842 11 месяцев назад

Wishing you peace of mind🩵. Marisa Peer has some healing utubes (too), and the crappy childhood fairy..

@amanpuri7079 2 дня назад

I hate it when my trauma just happened today...

@jmzaid8651 Год назад

I thought I was over those traumas but as I revisit the place and meet the old people, the fear, shame and pain are still there as they stare at me with disapproval. That is why I thought I need videos like this right now. Thanks so much!

@fatimamushtaq7839 6 месяцев назад

I thought the same...but we need to do smth about it...and finally I'm here...

@saracrum1487 Год назад

I struggle with healing from my past as a drug addict. The things I did the people I was with the situations I put myself in… they weren’t me. When I have flashbacks I instantly pray Jesus will forgive me and it helps. But wow therapy is amazing. Thank you for this video

@dod608 Год назад

our memories are not us, each period we are different unrelated persons and the only influence memory can do to us is push us be better and better

@GodHelpMe369 6 месяцев назад

I desperately want to die. I notice, in my life, all I do is navigate my way through the world... Doing my best, moment-to-moment, to endure the least amount of suffering as possible... And I keep doing that every day, just waiting to die. There's no joy, no hope, no happiness in my life. It's just pain and trauma and survival and misery. I live in poverty. I am ashamed of my life. I have severe (c)PTSD. My heart is shattered. Rage and grief consume every cell of my being. I pray to heal from, and be released from, the prison of: - poverty - aches and pains - an inflexible mind and body - diabetes - PTSD flashbacks - (c)PTSD - suicidal depression - homicidal rage - grief - guilt - regret - loneliness - heartache/heartbreak - repression/suppression - soul rape - a silenced voice - a lack of boundaries - perpetual aloneness - obesity - trauma - obsession/rumination - the past - spiritual attacks and curses I MUST DO MY BEST TO REMEMBER: When I am feeling/being victimized, I am over-valuating what I don't have, and under-valuating what I do have! 😊

@aurinkoinen1134 4 месяца назад

God bless you in Jesus name. Please do not give up, God loves you and He has a plan for your life. It is possible to heal and help others after you have gone through the difficul times. ❤️🙏

@AR-qk2ih 3 месяца назад

Bro be grateful you will feel better you wrote all the negative things now write all the positive things you have and read them every day, don’t ever give up once you get to old age you can look back at yourself and be proud that you went through all the pain:)

@AR-qk2ih 3 месяца назад

Try going gym for 1 month serious and see the difference you will find a purpose and get more closer to God

@mesCheerios Месяц назад

Maybe start small and try reprogramming beliefs. This is when you change your core beliefs by finding evidence for the opposite and feeling into it at least once a day. You can literally find evidence for anything you want to belief. So if you think you are helpless think of every tiny bit of evidence that you are empowered and capable. For example, you were able to express yourself well in that youtube comment. If you do it before falling asleep it helps to get into the subconscious. & if you can use as much imagery as possible it will be more effective. Repetition and emotion is what programs the mind and you can control that now. I especially work on the core belief "i am getting safer every day" or "it is possible for me to be safe" working gradually up to "i am safe". For cptsd sufferers like us this one is the hardest to reprogram but it has made a true difference to me.

@brittneygilchrist2744 Год назад

My partner and I re-write my memories by creating new experiences to replace the trigger so they don’t bother me anymore. I’m fortunate that he has stayed committed to this form of relief-therapy.. he makes the absolute best replacement ones with me!

@DiscordBeing Год назад

What a GREAT idea. Thank you.

@beautifullifestyle1331 Год назад

How you re write and replace triggers?

@marjamerryflower Год назад

Would you be able to give us an example? That would be helpful

@tammiegrayson3413 Год назад

How does that work exactly?

@brittneygilchrist2744 Год назад

@@marjamerryflower I actually have a perfect example as I’m in the process of re-writing one right now. I have severe trauma surrounding an abusive ex.. There was a Halloween in which I dressed up as Alice in Wonderland and he dressed up as the Mad Hatter. An incident happened that night so I have utterly despised Alice, the Mad Hatter and everything Wonderland related ever since. I would have bad body-charged reactions that could last for days.. even though Alice in Wonderland should be right up my alley as I love colours, cat’s and slight insanities, I loved it as a child and young adult, but it has bagged and bothered me for over a decade now. One of my close girlfriends, of whom I love, adore and trust had said something about “being as mad as a hatter”, I felt that twinge but instead of getting frustrated with it, I thought of how I could heal that trigger. SO.. now to replace that trigger, my gf, my partner and I are going to do a cosplay photoshoot where I’m Alice, my partner is dressing up as the Mad Hatter and my gf, who has a Cheshire Cat tattoo and who’s nickname is Alyss, will be the Cheshire Cat. Oh! And for triggers surrounding places, my partner would plan up fun adventures for us to have together near the areas when we first started dating.. it was the kick-start to this method. It really sucks when you initially get hit with the trigger, you need to build a habit of searching for a solution to solve the trigger instead of getting lost in it. Even 8 years later it can still be a challenge, but the pay-off of smiling at a former trigger is such an immense fulfillment that it makes every ounce of effort worth it. I hope you find your peace of mind and I wish you all of the best in life. 💕

@deborahjohnston5425 Год назад

You are so intelligent and amazing with the help you give. I gain something with every video I watch. You are very calming and make me feel like there is always hope. Thank you so much for your help and sharing with all of us. Life is so fragile and in this day so stressful. I look forward to listening to your programs. I am 74 and have had bad health and lost my husband 2 years and 4 months ago. There has been so much change in my life and a lot of fear and loneliness. Our house was taken, I have trouble with food. I have 9 children.

@wendythorne25 Год назад

I am also 74 and have health problems and it becomes very hard to deal with. If you need someone to communicate with let me know❤

@sandyavalos3305 Год назад

Deborah, I hate that you are going through this. You are stronger than you think and I know that you can get through this.

@deborahjohnston5425 Год назад

@@sandyavalos3305 Thank You so much

@belindatolley Год назад

I will be praying for you Deborah 🙏 🤲 Well said.... just love her so much.... such a blessing 🙌

@EC-yd9yv 8 месяцев назад

🌺🙏✨✨

@LisaMaryification Год назад

When I was younger, before I understood anything about psychology and trauma, I would avoid places or things I now realise were associated with painful events. Just lately, I'm examining my dislike for certain things. Many are associated with events way back in early childhood. Thinking about the connection helps me heal and it doesn't seem so frightening.

@vulnikkura Год назад

You are so wonderful! I've been in therapy for 2 years now and your videos are such a nice "addition" to my talk therapy. Thank you so much! ❤

@elyaequestus1409 Год назад

Thank you very much for the work! I am really happy to discover that I am already doing these things under professional supervision and especially the somatic work has made a massive difference for me. These days I feel more relaxed and openminded which helped improve my relationships. Getting the word out there and especially learning to pace when processing trauma is just so, so important. Thank you!

@victoriarector1419 8 месяцев назад

this was such a helpful video, i didn’t really understand what ‘processing’ ever meant. but now i see that it’s your brains ability to store once traumatic memories in a more comfortable way. thank you so much

@upstatenewyork Год назад

Saying to turn to friends and family suggests that all friends are prepared to walk through the traumatic memory with you or that all family members are. Just because someone can be labeled a friend or family member, it does not mean those titles ensure that the person is capable of soothing you as you struggle with a memory. What makes a friend or family member any more “qualified” to see you through…and I mean really see you through a traumatic memory? Quite often friends and family are the source of our trauma. Instead of using the words friends and family to help you cope with traumatic memories, I would prefer you say to turn to people you can trust. Just like that. You see, not all friends can be trusted and not all family members can be trusted.

@kyamirin564 Год назад

I agree, thank you for saying this. It's especially hard in an age where we can be reached 24/7 with phones etc. Of course you want to help someone close to you, but the feeling of having to be available all the time is so overwhelming, especially when you are struggling yourself.

@fotinotita7022 Год назад

Thank you so very much. Your guidance and methods are invaluable. I’ve shared many of your RU-vid clips with my young and older clients for them to learn and understand what they’re experiencing. As a CranioSacral certified techniques therapist I do work with trauma. Even so, I learn so much from you. In gratitude 🙏🏻

@MultiSignlanguage Год назад

This is so helpful. So clear and concise. I’m a Christian and have spent my whole life (I’m 52 now) struggling to understand what healing looks like. I don’t feel like the Christian teachings or community have a good understanding of it. It’s mostly denial and repression/suppression, and magical/wishful thinking. I kept praying forgiveness prayers and all kinds of prayers for healing but it never happened. I tried counseling off and on since I was a teen but never could stick with it for long. I feel like I wasted decades of my life struggling and numbing and running and avoiding. But that is what I learned from my parents, so the trauma is being passed from one generation to the next. I’m longing to see this changed. Thanks for sharing these videos that are so helpful 🦋

@saracrum1487 Год назад

The Lord helps, but he has also blessed others in science to help us even more. Jesus love you!

@malaysiacooper Год назад

@@saracrum1487but if he loves us why he make us go through something more horrible than others I don't understand like I've tried but I can't help but too question I've done the same thing as the lady above and nothing has helped not even god helped me only when it was almost tooonlate

@privateperson4842 11 месяцев назад

Hope you can find a counselor/psychologist to help you heal. I've been to the edge of losing hope and am ever grateful to have been given extra decades to enjoy waterfalls, dogs, music, sunsets, golden moments with friends & family... With life there are options. Take care of you🧡

@privateperson4842 11 месяцев назад

When I stopped believing in God, I didn't have the questions, expectations or frustrations of the 'why's. But each has to find the path the best works for them. 💞

@eg-draw 9 месяцев назад

That's great! It's such a rare to see someone actually could get away from those nasty sects! I hope you will find peace and good therapist

@seinfeldfan442 Год назад

Even if I can't relate to what emma is talking about I still enjoy the videos because she speaks so well. One of the best voices I have ever heard.

@andreabelen. 11 месяцев назад

It’s been exactly a year since my first ever manic episode that lasted two months (I live with Bipolar I) and I was told that I had PTSD. After that I started to be afraid of literally everything. I used to get stressed about every little thing and think that I wouldn’t find a way out. I couldn’t stop thinking of the mess that I had gone through (even though I didn’t feel like that during the episode), and being harsh to myself for my past actions, without realizing that it was just me experiencing symptoms. Now I go to therapy once a week, and to the psychiatrist once a month. My weekly activities include painting, baking, playing the drums and going to college (with less subjects). Little by little, I’m getting better and fighting my anxiety and my intrusive thoughts and memories.

@lilylammond8093 Год назад

Thank you very much for all your videos. I feel like I always learn something new and useful that I take with me in my healing journey - such as your video on being an observer of your thoughts - and this video is another one to add to the list :) I hope you are aware of how appreciated and effective your work is. Sending lots of grateful, kind energy your way x

@sharynm79 Год назад

Very helpful. The info is great and it’s even more meaningful with your calm reassurance that we will be able to get thru it. Thank you so much💗

@shy_donut8307 Год назад

I needed this rn. Last night my school club announced a student had died. I didn’t know them at all or what the person even looked like because I was new. There was 10+ people crying at the same time and one girl was violently sobbing. It was all too much and triggered feelings from when my uncle died in a car crash from a drunk driver in the 6th grade. It’s like all those feelings came back up as if it happened yesterday and I felt everything. The setting was the exact same. A bunch of family crying hard at the same time at the scene. I couldn’t help it and had to go in the hallway to sob with the other students. I felt like an awful person because the other students were crying over someone they knew but I was breaking down because of flashbacks I couldn’t help. It doesn’t help that within the last few years there’s been a lot deaths in my family too. All those feelings just came back full force.

@Chickaqee Год назад

thank you for sharing, trauma is no joke and you are not a bad person for something you had no control over. you're very strong and you can do this!

@dena6254 Год назад

💗🌸💗

@Artysmarty150 Год назад

Your feelings are valid, and you did nothing wrong. Please don’t worry about appearing selfish or whatever. Grief is hard on everyone, no matter who they lost or what triggers it.

@oumaimab979 Год назад

i had similar experience but in my grandfather's funeral i didn't cry because of he's death but because of deep feelings that got triggered inside me, if feels horrible.

@tonynewman597 Год назад

Hi Shy, Im so sorry for your loss & your family's loss. May they RIP.

@ssutherland9019 Год назад

These more recent videos are helping me to help others. I am so glad I found your channel.

@antoninat1114 10 месяцев назад

After going through a traumatic experience at past workplace, I now feel anxious ALL THE TIME. I hate it so much. I used to be so calm and confident in public, but everywhere I go now I feel like everyone’s watching me and judging me. Even though I’ve left my workplace, it’s like I’m re-living all the things that happened at work. Trauma is so scary! I’ve never felt this way before EVER and my mental health is so up and down :(

@annekerotterdam7499 10 месяцев назад

Same experience here, (two times) That's why gaslighting, and manipulation by narcissists are so traumatizing!

@JulietCrowson 5 месяцев назад

Praying helps a lot 🫂🕊️🙏

@Man-qq7jg 3 месяца назад

I'm sorry

@elviracardenalopez Год назад

I love your videos and all the knowledge that you share. Thank you very much!

@sarahdoanpeace3623 Год назад

One of the best most informative and helpful videos ever , thank you greatly, Emma!

@seinfeldfan442 Год назад

The flashbacks bring it back for sure, take good care of yourself when it happens

@aivelu2737 8 месяцев назад

You don’t know how much your content is very helpful for me, Thank you a lot 💜

@GinaGina-jl5io Год назад

Definitely a new subscriber. I cried watching Part 1 and 2. Thank you so much for your videos ❤❤❤

@angelawhite2022 Год назад

So happy to have found your channel. You’re awesome and relatable. ❤❤❤ from Newfoundland

@Mushroom321- Год назад

THANK YOU!!, SO MUCH !! the video i didn't know i needed !! My new practice " , this happened ", " however im safe".

@tahitihawaiiblue Год назад

Thank you for this video. It was well organized and encouraging.

@danmilliken Год назад

Your videos are such a gift; thank you.

@alpacino4204 Год назад

I have so many traumas and I don't have money to go to therapy I will try do it my own 😊

@juliashifflett6859 Месяц назад

You're not alone. Please feel free to reach out. I was feeling the same and didn't have the extra money for a therapist. 😊

@idferaye 12 дней назад

I cant thank you enough... I FEEL VERY LUCKY TO FIND THIS CHANNEL. I go to theraphy but we usually talk about everydays issues, not traumas. I dont know why. Its also helpful but I also need to heal traumas..

@evasccl7846 Год назад

Thank you! I have used journaling to begin with as I was going through a time forced to heal physically as a result of cumulus of different childhood traumatic experiences and realizing how they had impacted my adulthood and the choices i made- bad choices - was really very helpful to the point of restoring certain harmony within me. Then, as I managed to put words into it all, accept it, forgive my parents and others, forgive myself too... that is when all of a sudden found poetry writing the most heart, mind, soul felt expression of healing... it is like those floating lanterns, where you write these poems and them let them go.... I still have memories coming however, i say to myself it is in the past and overcame it all, which seems to stop triggering the emotions linked to the memory and I think that is my biggest improvement and now that i am aware, I know what to do when such similar instances happen, I don't let the emotion grab me but look at it from a bird's perspective and use my logic with the dose of empathy that is required without it overtaking me! I love your videos and find them helpful, often they say what i did on my own without knowing, which made my healing harder in a way... but i don't know, I believe God lets things go in a particular way for a good reason, because He is good. I don't question HIm. I pray to learn from my experience, grow and be able to help others by sharing my experience.

@carolp1581 Год назад

Forgiving the abuser has helped me a lot. That person is now gone. But we were able to talk. They apologized again, and I readily forgave. Much healing in that.

@evasccl7846 Год назад

@@carolp1581 ❤️ thank you for sharing.

@beverley-annemackintosh3672 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for being so generous with your knowledge and for caring ❤😊❤😊

@izawaniek2568 Год назад

Thank you for your help and support.

@SimeonKirilovX Год назад

EMDR helped me go through my traumas and healed PTSD. I recommend it alongside schema therapy

@giovannimaisano9194 Год назад

What is Sheena therapy?

@aks1993kumar Год назад

She said it doesn’t work for childhood traumas?

@llo8556 3 месяца назад

Do you mean somatic?

@mesCheerios Месяц назад

yea i attempted emdr for childhood trauma and it wasn't very effective but you never know it is worth a try especially if the childhood trauma was mainly a few instances you would have a better chance for it to work based on my experience. because i think i just have too many traumatic memories and most of them buried

@judyny2293 Год назад

Thank you! 🥰 you are doing amazing things for people😇

@MyDanymax Год назад

I love your calm voice. Thank you so much.

@888alp Год назад

I love all your videos. A gifted human being you are as a professional. ❤

@WandaWolf Год назад

Thank you for this. Keeping a diary has really helped me a lot going through the war (I'm from Ukraine). Writing out my thoughts and fears and sharing them with my friends and spouse seems like getting them out of my head, at least partially. And that helped make the most horrible memories less stressful. Helping others going back into their traumatic memory is another thing, I'm still not sure if I do it right, but I always try to state that I'm very happy the person survived and is now safe/safer.

@neildepressedtyson540 Год назад

As an australlian watching, it really terrifies me the position you guys are in and I hope as many ukrainians are as okay as they can be. It's so unfair what is happening in Ukraine and trust me, the world is watching and empathising. I can't even begin to imagine the fear and horrible memories.

@WandaWolf Год назад

@@neildepressedtyson540 thank you for your support! It's strange how the world becomes such a dangerous place full of pain and the things you'd never expect to see, hear or participate in your life... But at the same time you discover there's so much good in people ❤️ so many kind and empathetic hearts around

@neildepressedtyson540 Год назад

@@WandaWolf As much as I empathise, it's made me become afraid of sitting still and made me wonder if I should take up arms training and self defence. I've always thought of Australia as being unlikely to be in a war, but I watch so many Ukrainian videos on the war and see so much killing and violence that it's made me think what if it happens to me? I don't know anything about how to shoot or fight or defend my family.

@bmeeseeks2881 Год назад

You have helped me so much you can t believe. I can t afford therapy so I watch you. Thank you!!xo

@TorringtonFernandopulle Год назад

Love your lessons and guidance ..... Very valuable and helpful ...... Thank you so much 🙏

@adorablecats9891 Год назад

You give to us amazing, helpful information that is so very helpful. Thanks AGAIN Emma.

@rebecamarquez2607 Год назад

I have my youtube list dedicated to your videos. There are a great, thank so much for your kind and hard work. I would love to see a video about highly sensitive people and how to deal with anxiety & trauma is you're a hsp :) thank you. All my best regards.

@tonynewman597 Год назад

Thank you for creating this video! I always learn something new from you. :)

@BethanyJordanRose_ 6 месяцев назад

I thought I was healed after my traumatic 7 year relationship I realized now that I’m with someone who loves me I am not and I want to do everything I can to heal my trauma. Thank you for this video

@chai__tea Год назад

Your videos are a great resource!! Thanks

@johndenver5015 Год назад

Thank you Emma . Up until right now I didn't think I was afraid. This may sound really strange but I just understood that I am afraid. I knew I had trust issues with everything. On a surface level I guess I understood. But now I realize trust and security basically mean the same. I don't think I really said it out loud that I am afraid and nothing seems secure in My life. I do feel better in some ways. I Lost faith in God family and myself. I have felt helpless and hopeless for very long time. People that know me has seen a huge change in me and not for the good.i just told My sister yesterday that other than her My wife and kids I don't want to see anyone else not even a picture of someone else. That's crazy right seeing that I just watched your video. I never identified that I was afraid.

@gnarthdarkanen7464 Год назад

I don't think it's all that crazy... We have a kind of expectation about what defines "fear" and how we expect "afraid" to feel. I think a LOT of people expect it to involve screaming and crying and running away or curling up in a fetal position and hiding under stuff like furniture or covers and pillows while we cry about what we can't do anything else about... In real life, however, we don't have the option of hiding under a couch when someone darts into traffic in front of us, and we're afraid of hitting them with a car or motorcycle... We're still afraid, but it gets expressed as we hide it behind aggression and shout and swear and act angrily at them for making a silly and relatively little mistake... BUT we're afraid. We're afraid when someone challenges us at a bar or in a restaurant over having a little too much to drink or demanding we keep our noisy electronics quieter on a bus, or whatever else they might challenge us about, BUT again, since we don't have the blankets or a nearby piece of furniture to hide under, the fear gets a mask of aggression... OR since we've been challenged in a certain place before, maybe we just avoid that place in general... and now we're still afraid, but it's not puddles of tears, blanket burritos, and fetal positions like we'd expected... While we're masking our fear behind aggression, we might even lie to ourselves and think we "feel malicious" or "mean"... BUT we're afraid, and we may not even know it or recognize it. SO no, it's not crazy to think you've never recognized it until now... It's only good that you've started uncovering that about it. It's good to see it for what it is, and maybe now, you can deal with it as it is "really" and find your way clear to heal and move on. ;o)

@johndenver5015 Год назад

Thank you for taking the time to comment. It really does mean a lot to me. After I realized this yesterday. Then I had the thought ok now that I have discovered that I was was afraid ...now what? I've been praying about this for 10 years on this particular trauma and like you said... I thought about many things through out the years and other traumatic experiences. This last one took the last ounce of gas in me. I've become very bitter and angry. I basically gave up on life. I really hope you don't think I am seeking attention and poor pitiful me. I'm not looking for pity. I'm looking for solutions and something stable. I've been reading the Bible for about 40 years. What do you do when you believe God himself has let me down. The very thing I believe to be my rock and foundation of my being aloud this thing to happen. Is saying to me to trust him. My paradigm is this.... Let's say you have known me for a long time and you trusted me through out the years and I show up one day with people that you don't know and take your children from you hide them for 5 days and drag you into the court system take away your kids from you. Hold them over your head and the only way to get them back is to change your faith. Would you ever trust me again? This is only part of what happened to me. I've rehearsed this for 10 years and I can't think of anything I have done to deserve this. I've planned to take off work this week for sukkot. It's a Jewish holiday. ( No I'm not Jewish) I was trying to think of what I would to do during this time. But since I discovered this yesterday I came up with this idea 💡. Since this is a Jewish holiday for Thanksgiving day I will commit this week to get a few notebooks for me and my wife and only write in it the things to be thankful for. There is a few things in this I'm thankful for but sometimes blinded by other things so I plan to write them down. I know love and hate can't live together so I choose to try to ignore hate. In proverbs there's a passage that reads basically this. Where no wood is the fire goes out. So My attempt is to light a different fire and I guess I will see what happens. Sorry for the book I just wrote. But this could be another thing to be grateful for. I'm already grateful for you to take the time to message me and also taking the time to read this reply 😃. I truly hope you have a great day.

@user-zj1dv4to6f 21 день назад

Thank you so much!

@janicerennie422 3 месяца назад

Really good information. Thank you so much.

@chasing_mentalclarity 11 месяцев назад

My past bad memories keep coming up in my mind and all those people who have hurt me in the past , i feel like they are just standing beside me and bullying me exactly as it happened in the past. This ruins my life. I can't enjoy my present and there are times I am just talking myself in a room as if I am taking with someone.

@jamesjames1364 Год назад

You are the Best! The Crème de la Crème. The Cream of the Crop! Bravo!

@caprimayham7016 Год назад

Thank God for this woman!

@DecoyDorisWP Год назад

I love your voice. It helps so much. thank you

@starlightbarking9495 Год назад

My traumatic memories have never been sharp or intrusive that I can recall, my brain works very hard to block these out and dissociate from them so that I have a very hazy recall of the events or people involved. I do try and avoid being around the perpetrators of the trauma, their enablers and the places where it occured as this helps with moving on from it and keeps me safe from being re-traumatised. My brain does get a bit carried away with this and often dissociates from the entire time period when the trauma occured, and any events surrounding it. I can remember these if I try to but they are hazy and my mind does not naturally choose to dwell on them.

@kyamirin564 Год назад

The exact same thing for me, it's like our brain tries to delete those memories to protect us from suffering

@hannahsmith7095 9 месяцев назад

this is the best way i’ve ever heard to explain what it feels like to disassociate and be avoidant along with it. thank you

@phoebe2234 Год назад

Hi Emma thank you for another helpful video I find your videos about catastrophizing particularly helpful, could you do a video about over worrying when your children are sick, thank you

@elizabethjenkins6448 6 месяцев назад

much appreciation for validation blessings 🙏💜💫🙌🙌

@shannonh2541 Год назад

Thank you Emma- thank you so very much!!!!

@user-kp7uk4bn3y 10 дней назад

I love your videos they are so helpful.

@muminabegum7466 26 дней назад

I’m feeling very traumatised by something that happened 11 years ago when I was 17. I just like to talk about it with a friend or a family member in order to make me feel better and get it off my chest lol!

@user-uc4yc4qp8d 2 месяца назад

I’m so ashamed that I was healing my own self sharing RU-vid healings which triggered my daughter to be unsafe when they reopened her psyche and felt the traumatic memories. I have learned to be not unsafe. To keep my healing in a far less intensity . To get her the emdr specialist. First thing I will do before visiting her in San Francisco. I bet they are quite brilliant and sensitive there.

@gbecks3672 4 месяца назад

I’m 36 with a stable life now. I still find myself crying alone about my past. Mostly from child traumas I’ve been through. Which is a lot. I had a lot of teen and early 20 traumas but for someone reason those ones I don’t think of often. I don’t want meds I want to heal on my own.

@anitafrewen3049 6 месяцев назад

Thanks so much - very helpful

@Mushroom321- Год назад

Such life changing content... !! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😌🥰

@Life_42 Год назад

Very helpful! Thank you!

@onomatopoeia7505 Год назад

You can never lose the experience, you can change the emotion that goes with it. I specialize in regression therapy that takes you back to that point in time, but with the knowledge of the now. This still amazes me to this day as it has so far worked for 100% of my clients.

@1browngirl29 Год назад

Regression therapy doesn’t bode well when the memory is childhood sexual trauma though

@kyamirin564 Год назад

That's really helpful, thank you for sharing

@emrealtun8842 9 месяцев назад

Thank you Emma. We are better thanks to you. Hi from Turkey❤

@cecilialounissi5055 27 дней назад

I experienced what felt like a mild rejection from my Mother a few days ago. Instead of just saying no to me , she made me feel like what I was asking was really annoying her. It wasn't clear, but I sensed it. Generally, when I'm ok I just say by myself don't worry about it. Let's see Tomorrow. But this time I wans't able to say that. It escalated. She asked someone else to call me to ask about what I was asking. It felt really painful. I was feeling too much, having to defend myself for even asking. It unlocked many past horrific flash backs of feeling like a burden to my Mother and how mean she could be, was and still is with me. The feelings of the flash back I'm experiencing for a few days now allow me to realise how much I suffered due to constantly being rejected by her, how much she hurt me. The flash-back is therefore pretty painful. I don't feel functionnal, I'm paralysed and in much pain. That's why I'm listening to this video reminding myself I am safe, that I put distance between her and myself just never enough. I feel scared of her because of what she can do to me. But I seem to never learn how she can abuse me. Eventhough what she does right now doesn't seem that bad, it's just always over lapping with everything else she did to me. She is a codependant and I am too. She is my abuser and I am the victim. However, I was just a child when she started so I never truly learnt to protect myself from her emotional and psychological abuse. It's so painful and I understand now why I became an alcoholic. It was numing the pain. I am facing it now but it's so hard. It lasts a long time too. It's a long flash back. Been triggered 2 days ago and it's not getting better. Writing Helps though.

@zivavi9064 Год назад

Thanks for sharing.

@DrGearHeadSS Год назад

Thank you for this video. I have so much to work through. I hope I can do it without Retraumatizing myself.

@ts3858 Год назад

I hear your baby in the background ..😍

@JenniferNowlin-fv8qz Год назад

I'm really traumitized from my past and got hurt badly lots of times but by Grace of God still here

@elclaudiosanchez 7 месяцев назад

I was dating a psycotherapist girl, after 1 month of dating I told her my childhood traumas; she said "thats fucked up"

@jdiaz4877 Год назад

so good well done!

@travisbartholomay Год назад

That's amazing. Thank you

@philipstephan5451 Год назад

I was getting better, having less instant flashbacks of my traumatic events. Recently I am having them more often again. I thought I was getting better.

@vslifeofcycles5415 Год назад

I appreciate your videos!

@ommanipadmehung3014 Год назад

Brilliant as usual

@deekshanegi21 Год назад

Liked before watching ❤️

@angie_miki Год назад

I need you as my therapist😞❤️ im going to chronic anxiety all day , depression last night i had another panic attack💔

@alicehatzoglou5683 6 месяцев назад

Extremely helpful for sufferers, and for healthcare professionals. I am wondering, is it possible to develop PTSD symptoms when there is no explicit trauma memory? e.g. because of prenatal trauma. Thank you so much!

@saq1458 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for the video!, really helpful as i am struggling with remembering the feeling and a vivid memory of the trauma and yet still affects my whole life Until today, should i remember them clearly in order to heal/process them? Thats scary!

@nessie.kittyyy 10 месяцев назад

I don’t have anyone to share with. So I’m sharing here. I’ve dealt with a lot of abuse in the past but, this one hurt a lot. My uncle abused me, and it haunts me. The way he touched me, how he bruised me. My parents didn’t even care. They let him do it more than once. He was emotionally abusive towards me too. I keep getting flashbacks everyday, and I don’t have anyone to tell, Or vent too.

@VincentDelbosque-ot9eo 5 месяцев назад

I’m here you’re not alone at all I’m been through the same thing so we will find light

@user-uc4yc4qp8d 2 месяца назад

❤always grateful for you .

@J.DaviesArt 4 месяца назад

I've been ranting online about traumatising events. I'm coming to the conclusion that i did it partly because im fed up of living through a phone. Through sharing on platforms ive caused a massive trigger content for myself now i dont want to not use any of it lol good idea but bit of a catch 22 either way im reducing my use of social media and my phone over all. 😉 stay strong everyone. Remember your survivor's and are capale of healing and living happy lives ❤

@naturallyherb Год назад

Very well said!

@flynnzilla8796 4 месяца назад

I just want to say that finding a “skilled professional”, for many traumatized people or otherwise, is extremely difficult! Money/insurance, location, disability, not to mention actually finding someone who knows what they are doing and that you connect to! It is not nearly so simple as you express; is there another way other than the internet to find the guidance one needs?

@afzyo6284 Год назад

I remember the 3rd day after my first day in high-school I made a friend at the break time that was also oversized like me, the bell ringed and we got ready to go back to class, we were walking outside and a group of maybe 14 guys were also walking behind us and suddenly started screaming and making really loud animal noises to scare us, that's all I remeber they did, I felt extreme distress and was in denial that it was towards me bc it was so disrespectful and I felt like I couldn't handle bieng so weak and helpless, after that for the next 2 years at HS I had severe anxiety everytime I walk a foot in school, i was always trying to hide form them, but I ended up feeling this painful stress with everyone, it's all the time and it ruined my life, and after that event I always hear people laughing behind me bc of how funny I walk, it's obvious that I'm extremely stressed, scared, self-conscious and ppl find this funny, those guys actually ended up scaring me and those 3 min ended up in me living in distress for the next 2 years

@foxcalledneoii5023 9 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing :)

@Audreyreagan.s Год назад

This changed my life and body

@sarthakaswal7023 Год назад

Such immense knowledge!!

@JennLinsi Год назад

This is GREAT! I have a YT channel dedicated to supporting 20-somethings learn how to LOVE THEIR LIVES no matter what kind of ups & downs they’re experiencing… but I’m in the coaching world and I’m not a mental health professional. I love seeing this type of content out there to support people and it’s a great learning opportunity. Thanks!🌸

@dianed5193 10 месяцев назад

I have used the NLP technique, the movie rewind. It is very effective in taking away the emotion of that memory. Still working on some....

@liabeachy Год назад

I like your soothing ways . It’s so expensive to get therapy so what do you suggest if money is a problem?

@RedgarJNR 9 месяцев назад

Thank you 🙏💚

@heathermatthews7422 9 месяцев назад

Thank you 😊

@TheKneeCrumbler 11 месяцев назад

thanks for your help

@mesCheerios Месяц назад

yes i found emdr didn't help my childhood trauma too much because there are just so many memories. But one of my most vivid trauma memories is now replaced by my next most vivid memory

@sohh8659 5 месяцев назад

what hurts more is feeling shame that im still grieving after 5 years since it happened and most of what happened i can barely remember which makes me sad because even her face faded away from my memory even writing this comment is hard for me