How to Stop Taking Things Personally

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Do you take things personally? Do you get offended easily? Do you spend a lot of time trying to figure out which person is the "Jerk"? Taking things personally is a super complex relational strategy we use to protect ourselves when we feel threatened, but it leaves us feeling isolated and dramatic. In this video we're going to learn 3 steps to stop taking things personally, and how to stop taking offense.
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In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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Опубликовано:

30 янв 2024

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Комментарии : 1,3 тыс.

@clockworkthoughts7830 4 месяца назад

One of the most important lessons you can learn in life: how people treat you says more about them than it does about you.

@aceshigh5157 4 месяца назад

and your reaction is about you not them.

@bodytrainer1crane730 4 месяца назад

💯

@triple_sec0 4 месяца назад

That’s an assumption. Like the video noted, people’s comments that one finds offensive may come from a different type of cultural communication, or an oopsie like accidentally honking on the horn, or panic over an injured child in the back seat. The possibilities are infinite.

@triple_sec0 4 месяца назад

Having said that, what you say holds true in situations of abuse - domestic violence, child abuse, coercive controlling partners, narcissistic behaviors from others, and other extreme personality disordered people whose goal is truly to undermine people they know.

@freyashipley6556 3 месяца назад

So true! Even at my advanced age, I *still* tend to assume that people are making careful assessments of my worth before deciding how to treat me! 😂

@katiewright2232 2 месяца назад

One of the best things I have ever heard on this topic is that “what other people think of you is none of your business”

@joejackson9986 2 месяца назад

what if that person is your wife or your kid? then it definitely is your business...

@Gemmarose9012 2 месяца назад

I think it’s one of the worst.

@sjinzaar 2 месяца назад

Learned that from watching RuPaul's Drag Race❤

@nelliewoods8282 Месяц назад

😂 My sister told me this years ago and I always pass this on!!!!!!

@ashleyannephd Месяц назад

I like that:)

@herpderp818 2 месяца назад

I saw a video that was prefaced by something like "How do you take things less personally?" and their response was along the lines of like "Assuming people are judging you/ thinking horrible things about you is actually you judging THEM and making them out to be potentially much meaner individuals than they are. So now I just assume everyone is kind, and if they act in a way that contradicts that I assume it's because they have something going on in their lives, forgive them, and move on." That was really eye opening to me to hear it from that perspective. Assuming people are thinking the worst of you is, in a way, judgement of them. Lets believe that people are kind, and try to be kind ourselves.

@nohaaljawhary2058 2 месяца назад

I love this perspective! Thanks for sharing. So many times we assume people judge us or feel they have attacked us, etc. But that is also us judging them through our assumptions, especially if we have not verified these assumptions and just make things up in our heads (stories our brain tells us).

@shaziakhawar4154 Месяц назад

But when we to deal with such people on daily basis and they always act like that then how to deal with them as they are draining

@RB-yt6rx Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing this perspective. I want to follow this thinking in my own life. I have been feeling so alone and confused in life lately. This is because the world feels so angry and violent. But life is a matter of perspective. The world is ugly and cruel if you only look for uglyness and cruelty. Perspective is the most important thing for us because life IS what you see

@jasmainjasmain2906 Месяц назад

Appreciate this comment!

@Raenafyn Месяц назад

This one feels much harder to get around when the level of figuring out what people's opinions are of me goes to "am I physically safe around them? Do I need to be prepared to defend myself?" Especially if someone has had prior experience with people mistreating them, it can be less about needing to feel like a better person and more about worrying about their physical wellbeing. It's much easier to justify avoiding people when it's put in terms of "misjudging someone as good when they really weren't has more risk than misjudging someone as bad and nothing happened", no matter how irrational or how low those chances actually are. Social anxiety sucks. :) It does get easier by trying to internalize the idea that most people want to do good, or at least are much more interested in their own lives to care what you're doing though.

@CarolMilters 4 месяца назад

I felt ATTACKED by RU-vid for recommending this video to me. Then I started watching it and I now am FURIOUS that you are so unquestionably right so yeah I guess I needed it. No joke, this is one of my favourite RU-vid channels ever 💛

@michelemiller7046 4 месяца назад

Same here friend. I needed this video today

@ddos87 4 месяца назад

hahaha

@murielsmart4532 4 месяца назад

I just love the way you explain things and your sence of humor definitely comes through. Thank you so much for the free therapy , we all need a bit from time to time😊

@lindyc.2552 3 месяца назад

I don't know, when my narcissist husband calls me a b@#ch, useless or ignorant I do tend to take offense

@ddos87 3 месяца назад

@@lindyc.2552 and youre still together? who the f#@& calls their wife a 13!tc# ? im so sorry youve been treated so abusively.

@cat.nova74 4 месяца назад

This is one of my biggest weaknesses. It all goes back to being bullied in elementary school.

@tunamushroommelt 4 месяца назад

samee 😭

@CardinalCat92 4 месяца назад

Yeah me too. It didn't stop there, got it back in Jr. High and High School. That's why I joined the football team to knock the shish out of people, but the lens still sticks with me :(. I'll be okay though, I'll get better one day at a time. 1% better! YOU GOT THIS!!!

@beckydufour3929 4 месяца назад

I'm really sorry you got bullied. People have no idea the hurt inflicted. 😢

@countesserzabeth1812 3 месяца назад

Same

@Missgevious 3 месяца назад

Same

@floridagirl8563 2 месяца назад

“Don’t believe everything you THINK” is truly the root of most issues we humans have. We DO let our brain talk TO US WHEN WE SHOULD BE TELLING OUR BRAIN WHAT TO THINK.

@salesuzi 27 дней назад

Best thing I’ve ever heard

@letsbereal0k 3 месяца назад

1. Clarity 2. Boundaries 3. Solid foundation of self-worth ❤❤❤

@afrancis7475 Месяц назад

This is better than the video. Thank you, clear and to the point.

@zondra.genevieve Месяц назад

@@afrancis7475or you’re just impatient 🤷‍♀️ could just say thank you and not rap on the video

@kaym.2854 16 дней назад

I appreciate this comment more than words can express.

@sakuranovaryan9261 Месяц назад

There's probably a line between projecting,assuming/taking things personally and actually not agreeing or liking how someone talks to you

@igoturcookies2 Месяц назад

And that’s where establishing boundaries comes in

@immensebeaute5293 18 дней назад

‼️‼️‼️‼️

@palomavano4705 2 месяца назад

It takes an entire lifetime to cultivate these qualities.

@lexaneli 2 месяца назад

Not if you make a conscious effort to correct your way of thinking

@chonkychezxx4192 2 месяца назад

It feels unachievable, but it really is. You won’t be perfect at it, but even if it takes say 20 years to be good at it, that’s still meaningful. Because 20 years will pass anyway. Do you want to be where you are now in 20 years or doing better and working on your thinking patterns in 20 years? Just gotta shift your perspective to look outside in, instead of inside out. If that makes sense

@blaketurner7989 Месяц назад

Right, and you're going to be living a lifetime anyway. You might as well start making it a good one.🥳

@kayp2326 7 дней назад

Amen!

@shadowfax9177 Месяц назад

One of the best things I have recently learned is how complex PTSD is rooted in toxic shame. Really trying to overcome that and not take things personally.

@heatherk569 3 месяца назад

"Your core beliefs show up in your assumptions. "...... brilliant!

@cadmanwells 13 дней назад

People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. Ralph Waldo Emerson

@Ashley-id2cb Месяц назад

People are rude, attack you on purpose, apologize later, do it again, and the cycle continues... best thing to do os let it roll off. Be confident in yourself, know yourself well enough to know if you should change for the better or not, and monitor patterns in people. There's always room for improvement, but boundaries are also crucial.

@marlenef777 Месяц назад

Thank you for this comment. Seriously. I needed it. Wishing you joy always. ❤️

@fs1512 29 дней назад

This true. But what if you cannot avoid the sick twisted damaged sob who has decided to target you? What if you have asked him calmly and repeatedly to stop and others have asked him to stop but he continues whenever he sees you. What if you were relentlessly bullied when a child.

@solhaher9114 20 дней назад

@@fs1512Damn sorry about that. I guess that best thing to do is completelyyy ignore them act they are a ghost don’t even glance his way. Idk if this helps but just try it

@JDGraves182 Месяц назад

I have always had the habit of taking everything personally. Even if I enter a room and people are laughing at something, I assuem they were making fun of me.

@Lisimachos Месяц назад

Are you a highly sensitive person? Look at that ..

@-1lovethesea 2 месяца назад

Secure self comes when your busy doing what you love and you have comforting people around you not when you’re tired and lonely.

@pennypink3759 4 месяца назад

My sister has always put me down with her jealous issues ,criticised me so I keep her out of my life. Some people are just bullies cause they have issue and it's best to keep away from constant attacks. I'm happy I do not have to cope with her anymore.

@sherrondadavis4816 4 месяца назад

Right. I don't really like this video. But I like her advice. But people are pretty rude now a days.

@PrettyWhiteLady 3 месяца назад

I am right there with you. My sister and father are gone from my life for 1 year now. I received a birthday card from my sister on January 24th one day before my birthday, and I have been suffering horrible ruminating thoughts ever since, so just 2 weeks or so. That is what her bullying has done to me, I suffered daily with endless loops of the things that they did to me, so I have to work towards dismantling all of this garbage. It's a f'in fulltime job, I am so resentful 😢

@inezneal6917 3 месяца назад

Yes too many people think they can heal and intentionally let toxic people around them. Getting away from them is the best option. I've had to do this.

@jeanniewhite5687 3 месяца назад

I'm also in agreement with you. I too have two sisters who gang up against me and attack my integrity with my mom and my mom acts like she's clueless. I feel orphaned so I've just walked away😢

@jeanniewhite5687 3 месяца назад

@@inezneal6917yes I've walked away too. It's better than being around two sisters who are against me and no support from my mom.

@dianaoliver5266 4 месяца назад

Thank you for this remarkable info. In the first 5 min. I began weeping because I have searched for this info my entire life in vain (I'm 67). I realized my life will be changed forever because of this 20 min. lesson. I've heard a million times "Don't take it personally," but zero instructions on how to do that!! That's like telling an alcoholic: Just don't drink. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

@s.m6605 2 месяца назад

Exactly!

@tracylong8368 2 месяца назад

I am 58 and I too have been to years of therapy, searched for answers to no avail. My phone heard my husband and I talking yesterday about me doing it again and this video came up. Thank you, thank you for giving me tools to change myself😘

@ExpertBustice 4 месяца назад

I literally just got done taking something personally and dealing with the fallout from it. This was released 1 minute ago. I feel attacked, but I am going to watch anyway.

@dvdv8197 4 месяца назад

You'd better because it will obviously help you! 😅😂

@doreenalexander1670 4 месяца назад

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️

@andreab2627 4 месяца назад

Perfect timing!

@MalkuthEmperor 4 месяца назад

Litterally the same Litterally Only im 4 hours late to the party Honestly, the vid put me in perspective 5 minutes in But i already knew i was overreacting i just couldnt stop doing it, till i redirected my focus I hope youre okay you human beeing Hope you have a nice day

@agathahofmann6977 4 месяца назад

😂😂😂

@cc_celeste 2 месяца назад

It takes a lot of courage to admit that we are hyper sensitive and we take things personally I have struggled with this immensely I have had so many jobs because the moment I feel unappreciated or threatened I just quit but not before creating chaos I have slowly learned to have an easygoing attitude That is your best ally People sometimes will use a harsh tone, or say things that can be aggressive and it’s important to remember that if you maintain your composure you portray professionalism, assertiveness & self control There’s a time & place for everything But the key is to truly walk away and take a moment to fully analyze & assess situations that trigger us I never used to hold back & every time I felt hurt or felt any negative emotion I would lash out at the person I have burned every relationship due to my impulsive behavior and I have lost many career opportunities because I took things personally I wish that I worked on this years ago Now that I’m a mother I have to ensure to teach my daughter how to respond to uncomfortable situations

@barbthegreat586 2 месяца назад

It's never too late. Most probably, you still have a big chunk of career ahead of you and with your new insights, you can progress rapidly.

@cc_celeste 2 месяца назад

@@barbthegreat586 that’s very thoughtful of you, thank you 🙏🙏🙏

@TM-oe2on 2 месяца назад

Wow! You are very self-aware, which is a really beneficial trait to have. So, many people are in denial about how they contribute to their own situations. Taking responsibility for your own thoughts and actions will serve you well in the future, especially since you now know what NOT to do. Best wishes! ❤

@cc_celeste 2 месяца назад

@@TM-oe2on 🙏🙏🙏 when I became a mother I had to truly put my life into perspective I realized that I have to be the best I can be in order to lead by example It’s a struggle to keep my mouth shut and not lash out but sometimes silence is the best thing to do that will lead to a much better outcome

@nicolemarie9875 2 месяца назад

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. I got a lot of insight from it.

@stevec404 4 месяца назад

The thrree steps to stop taking things personally - all three were missing from my life (age 7 to 70). I now have a grasp on all three...and I already feel the difference.

@iamenough6958 3 месяца назад

Me too.... 😮 Byron Katie has a teaching on this topic... FREE .. RU-vid her❤

@nomalie 2 месяца назад

I struggle with this severely. I take even the smallest things in offense and become extremely defensive. Then I get angry and I am very confrontational. Some things are so insignificant the other person doesn't even realize they said anything but I turn it into huge conflict. I become convinced that I know exactly what the situation is and don't give the other party a chance to even explain their side or put in 2 words. When people apologize, I am unable to accept it. I tell myself I forgive people but I keep throwing everything in their face even years after. I have no friends, strained family relationships, and now in process of getting a divorce. I feel helpless because I've realized this issue multiple times and yet have not been able to make any progress. I've gone through traumas in my life but at 33 I feel like I should have been able to work on myself. I've been doing therapy and it's not helping. Sometimes I feel like I will never get better. Sometimes I feel like only solution is to leave this life. Please wish a healing for me if you can. A lot of the times I can't even stand myself anymore.

@generator6946 2 месяца назад

One of the most important things I ever learned was the title of a book. “It was on fire when I laid down on it!” Years later I made up another catchy phrase: “If something is messed up, somebody somewhere wants it that way!” And one more: “It can be done by someone else tomorrow!” Have a good day!

@nomalie 2 месяца назад

@@generator6946 I am not sure what this means but thank you for your response nonetheless 😊

@emmy3192 2 месяца назад

You might try a shadow work book or journal. I mean at this point it can't hurt right? if you think about it you really got through the hardest part. Just self-awareness so be proud of yourself for that and find ways to go even further.

@Mashiyamahle83 2 месяца назад

I have been struggling a lot with the same,but lately I am learning that my opinion might not make sense to the other party whether I’m right or wrong!! My advice to you is to walk away at times and ignore some of the peoples opinion,you are human they are human you both deserve peace and respect to one another.Heal and let go!!sending you love and comfort

@michellemajako 2 месяца назад

Maybe you need a new therapist? Are you neurodivergent? I have ADHD, and come from some trauma, so my self esteem is just trash, and putting therapeutic things to practice is harder because of these things. I write things down and review them, practice like I’m in college on the subject, reminders in my phone to work on them. Change is hard. Virtual hug.

@Tjcp292 4 месяца назад

I don’t think taking things personally feels good at all. It makes me miserable.

@lifestylecreep 4 месяца назад

I agree. I feel this video is conflating using personal offense as a form of aggression within interpersonal relationships rather than deep issues with very low self-esteem and self-worth.

@tunamushroommelt 4 месяца назад

Yess 💔

@nova396 2 месяца назад

@@lifestylecreepIt is a form of aggression, because you have to cut someone down to be a victim. You don't listen because you proved the point.

@blendajeti6516 4 месяца назад

Just wanted to say that whenever I'm in distress, I'll just click on any of your recent videos and the music, positivity and your knowledge makes me feel better instantly =). Thank you for all that you do.

@dabaddestbarb 4 месяца назад

literally love this channel

@rosemaryclarke2348 3 месяца назад

I DO THAT TOO!❤❤

@james0805 4 месяца назад

I just want to accept myself as I am

@james0805 4 месяца назад

This isn’t helpful. I’m just saying

@antidepressant11 4 месяца назад

She is trying to empower us. Sometimes it is a bitter pill to swallow. That we are the ones that need to change. Not others.

@TheReetchou 2 месяца назад

Absolutely and it does invalidate that people are treating us like jerks, but helps us understand how to help ourselves in those types of situations

@michaelahowells2957 Месяц назад

She is not saying that we are the ones that need to change. When we are secure and receive a comment we are the ones to decide whether we MAY need to change, according to what WE want to be.

@supernova11711 25 дней назад

I didn’t take it that way. What you said sounds like negative talk…like everyone else is good and you’re the problem. I took it more to say that we focus on our half and what we can do about it and how we might improve on because that’s what’s within our control. In a perfect world, the other person would do the same thing! It’s not about right or wrong but rather understanding that…it isn’t always about who’s right and who’s wrong 😊

@cassieblessed6430 4 месяца назад

I took offense when I over heard my coworkers speaking ill of me. Which resulted in me isolating myself and made the situation 10x worse

@cocochanelwhite1450 4 месяца назад

Yes. Me too your not alone

@bellamy6648 Месяц назад

Trust me those coworkers ARE pieces of shit. Nobody likes them and they pretend to like each other. I had those coworkers and they would talk shit about each other to me as if I wanted to be Involved with the Negative bs. I can’t help you sis, gotta escape idk, they’re toxic plain and simple

@arasyard Месяц назад

well sometimes it depends..the mere fact you heard the talking about you is off, and its really offensive. well even in that situation we should really have to control our reaction?

@valerieEswenson 4 месяца назад

Normally I always joke in the comments saying “I feel attacked” but I actually feel relief. I know there are so many things I need to work on with myself & usually change takes action. Okay so when someone tells me let it go, don’t take it personally, stop thinking about it - all I hear is a non action and I’m like that doesn’t help. I feel like this is solid advice to help with putting the focus back on yourself & not in a bad ego selfish way. I always tend to get stuck in my head replaying things and turn them into stories and become the victim. Wouldn’t hurt me to watch this a few more times because I just kept nodding going yup that’s me!

@mariecarie1 4 месяца назад

I appreciate your insight on “let it go,” because that’s always how I took it, too. It’s a really good idea to interpret that as, “Focus on what you can control and what your values are.” That makes much sense, and hopefully will keep me from rolling my eyes as much at people when they tell me this. Thanks!

@reneejones5915 4 месяца назад

This is spot on! The more I think about things in my head the scenarios can spiral and my energy is no good. I too am going to listen to this video a few more times. And I appreciate the exercises to help us become better people. Thank you for sharing

@claudettedavis9842 2 месяца назад

You are not alone. We could be twins. God put this video here so that I can be free of those triggers and live a better quality of life! God bless you

@resinnut9335 2 месяца назад

I'm a new subscriber and just want to say how refreshing it is to hear a professional talk about this topic on RU-vid. I'm so tired of hearing how anytime you feel wronged, then you must be suffering from narcissistic abuse. That term is thrown around so easily, and I've seen many families suffer from labeling loved ones in that way. I so appreciate you! Giving us the tools to work on ourselves rather than encouraging us to play the victim is beyond valuable in today's society. Thank you!

@cgill914 6 дней назад

Yes this 💯

@ronswansons_mustache 4 месяца назад

Man i never thought about taking things personal as a defense mechanism, mind blown. It makes sense and helps to put alot in perspective, thank you!!

@katharinathegreat8111 4 месяца назад

Sometimes a simple "i don´t give a f... about your opinion" helps a lot 😆😉

@tahitihawaiiblue 4 месяца назад

Some consideration toward other people is still required.

@katharinathegreat8111 4 месяца назад

@@tahitihawaiibluedepends on who says what. Everyone has an opinion about things that are not their business or they don't have knowledge of... some even like to hear themself talking or think it' s funny to tease people constantly. So, why bother?!

@dessaarnold7540 4 месяца назад

I have to admit, it could feel really nice to say that to a few people in my life right now. Unfortunately I can't really do that in my work. And going through hospice care with my mom right now, I am semi tiptoeing around my siblings. It is all so painful.

@AsmodeusFire 2 месяца назад

I try to do that then, deep deep down sometimes be depending on the person😂😂😂 I do care a bit

@claudettedavis9842 2 месяца назад

Lmbooooo. My dear friend says the same thing. She said, “one good cussing will shut that kinda bully down!” 😅

@prar7450 4 месяца назад

As a person who uses social media a lot, this was sooooo needed and sooooo timely to see this

@jendee1260 4 месяца назад

maybe get off social media, those of us that didn’t grow up with it already know not to take things personally. sad what you all have to deal with. gl

@akankshavreddy14296 3 месяца назад

facts 💯 there's so many factors that don't go the way you expect and that makes you take things personally. I get so worked up and pissed off when people don't respond to my messages, for instance.

@eo4zoa 4 месяца назад

This video is everything for me. I learned this through therapy last year. I was a very self confident person until my in-laws started taking what I said personally and attacked me, I started taking what they said personaly. Then I got into I did this because they did that, and it was a freaking never ending cycle. This was almost 10 years ago. I didn’t have the money to go to therapy, I had no one who could guide me and finally last year I went to therapy and worked through my issues. But this video is exactly the gist of it, my FIL had insecurities that he projected on me. He couldn’t respect my boundaries. He did not want to introspect but basically call me the bad person every chance he got. But it took me going to therapy to understand that was his problem, not mine. His immaturity and insecurity was a result of his past. Once I understood that it had nothing to do with me, my heart felt so much lighter. I live by my principles and set boundaries now and not take things personally. And if I did do something wrong, I’m open to feedback. Made my life simple and way more fun to live. I will show this video to my kids when they are feeling insecure, they are still very young but I hope they can learn about these things early in their life and avoid the misery I have experienced. Your channel has helped me so much during my low time, you have encouraged me to seek therapy.

@EmbraceTheStruggle24 3 месяца назад

Sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to but we do it not just because it benefits us individually, but for the better of all of us - no matter the community we're surrounded with or choose to surround ourselves with in arbitrary ways. As somebody who has been in therapy myself; I've had to learn to let go on certain issues that might seem trivial...examples include politics, war on drugs, internet culture, and entertainment industry. I suppose the concept of rich v. poor would be another legit example as well. Anyways though, it sounds like you've come a long way , and I believe you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to tackle the challenges you faced in regard to how you've been mistreated. I hope that whatever you're doing you're being kind to yourself because I've had to do the same with myself through some very difficult situations (even when I find hobbies that are extremely uplifting - I still often need to maintain my composure even when I have positive stimulation). Idk if this is relevant or not; but I think that everyone processes grief and insecurities in different ways. That being said; we all should try and be good to ourselves even if it doesn't make sense, but I suppose it really depends on the situation...and this is where I think Maslow's hierarchy of needs comes into play. I believe codependency is a factor too - but at this point I'm just rambling...and even journaling exercises (as Emma explained) can be beneficiary - in terms of controlling what you can and can't control. When push comes to shove though, I believe getting a deep understanding of others' feelings will unlock many opportunities, and I think the energy we project not just on ourselves; but others is a lot more influential than what we want to believe - but it's really jmo more than anything else. I hope I was able to provide good insight and lmk what you think if you have a free moment. Anyways, continued success and always know you're not alone. None of us are. Blessings 🙏

@saltpepper7525 4 месяца назад

I took immense offence today at the lady in a supermarket counter. She didn't greet my husband and I, so when my husband asked if I wanted to keep the dates we bought or not because the wrapper was torn, I felt enraged!! "Why are you asking me? Can't you decide? Why are you asking me in that tone? I lashed out at him because I felt insulted for not being treated nicely by the checkout lady 😢 I made sure she saw my upset/angry face. I took it so personally. Later, I felt like sh** I just can't hold myself back when someone's mean to me even tiny bit 😪 I attribute this to being unheard to my emotional needs by my parents and pleasing everyone.

@larahuffmaster5857 4 месяца назад

Victim mentality. Watch a few videos on that subject. 😊

@sue8370 4 месяца назад

Yes that's a bit over reactive about the checkout lady....I wouldn't care less about that unless she was a close friend

@JGalegria 27 дней назад

Oh my goodness! Do you have any thought for the tired, low paid checkout operator? Your issue isn't taking things personally, it's thinking the entire world revolves around your feelings and no one else's!

@cobblecattt 2 месяца назад

Ooooo, okay. I need to not take the way my kids act personally. So important as a parent.

@alondralima9442 2 месяца назад

This lady helped me through the darkest time of my life. If you see this I thank you so much 💓

@josephampong6684 2 месяца назад

Me too

@sammcalilly107 2 месяца назад

glad you're doing better

@sue8370 4 месяца назад

So bullying? How can you not feel hurt by that?

@choyceingram7351 Месяц назад

Exactly😂

@A5xxxxx Месяц назад

It's okay to feel hurt I think. You feel what you feel and bullying of any kind is horrible. But just try to remember that how a person treats others is more of a reflection of them than it is of you. Bully's are usually projecting something in their own life they are unhappy with. Still wrong but unfortunately how it is. Self confidence is the best thing you can have. If you believe in yourself and love yourself enough, you'll find that others opinions don't really matter 🤍

@JGalegria 27 дней назад

Yes it's important to identify when someone is bullying you.

@biggiejeffrey 18 дней назад

It's okay to stop bullying. The issue is when you use bullying to shut yourself off from others, including the people who care about you.

@gingerbee98 4 месяца назад

I gratefully learnt all of this in AA decades ago but I still appreciate hearing it from a respected professional 🙏😊

@xaxaxa12 4 месяца назад

What is AA ?

@bednar1991 4 месяца назад

@@xaxaxa12alcoholics anonymous

@felienmusic 4 месяца назад

This is SUCH a good video. The locus of control is explained so well. Maybe in a future video you can dive into people that feel over-responsible and cannot really feel like what is their responsibility and not, for example due to OCD and/or religious trauma. Some people tend to not act out towards the other person, but towards themselves, and I can tell from my own experience that that is very difficult hehe. What I do is to try to talk to myself like I would to a friend.

@TherapyinaNutshell 4 месяца назад

Ooh that's a great topic, I'll add it to my short list

@KeyWester1 3 месяца назад

Yes!

@zulby09 4 месяца назад

What you are basically saying is to take a step back and put things in perspective. This is true many many times in my life experience and I concur. When someone criticizes you for something don’t promptly disagree and quickly be defensive. Most of the time it’s nothing to do with you at all but what that person is undergoing. In my experience I gain social points when I turned such unfair criticisms into self deprecating jokes which everyone admires

@mlouw8218 4 месяца назад

Thank you so much! I came to this video after an argument with my sister where I was complaining about people being overly fragile and needing everyone to tiptoe around and not hurt their feelings. Ironically when she pushed back and we started arguing about it, I became totally disregulated and resentful towards her for having a different perspective. I guess I felt like she thought I was a bad person for not being more sympathetic… and I immediately became the kind of person I was complaining about: fragile and defensive. I needed this video 😅🙏💖

@NekinSenpai 4 месяца назад

I still haven't learned not to take things personally, but this helped me a lot to realice it. So thank you very much!

@sheebsk9363 4 месяца назад

You have always been my mentor, even though we don't know each other. Whenever I face personal problems, I turn to your videos. Today, your video helped me tackle a significant issue, teaching me to adjust my thinking and avoid taking everything personally. You have been helpful to me as well as many others who have been going through many health challenges!!! Thank you so much for your wonderful videos! I think God gave you the gift to heal and touch other people's hearts. May God continue to bless you. Lots of hugs and love!

@awesomemax3330 3 месяца назад

I agree. She has the gift to touch and heal other peoples heart. She smiles with pure joy and patiently explaining one by one. Her video is better than some other self help therapy videos I've watched before.

@owenkato956 4 месяца назад

I think some second order thinking would add to this advice: that is, best practices to "let it go", as some people might be justice-oriented and think if some does you wrong, it is not a matter of ego being hurt, rather, a wrong ethically imposed that requires some form of justice? That is where it gets more difficult. Further, the negative energy they impose you on, that has to be directed if it is absorbed. It is nice to think we can just shake it off, and maybe some can get that stoic, but if someone is rude to me, I feel a sense of justice to apply that back at them, giving it back, not out of ego, but a moral duty involving teaching. It isn't personal for me, it's more so universal: I don't want that person to keep doing that to other people. Example: trying to help a customer at a retail store and that customer is taking out their bad day on the sales rep trying to help. There is a power dynamic which is unfair and then the customer being demeaning or rude. Brushing it off seems fine, but then this behavior continues. I think a more moderate remedy might be beneficial not only to both parties but whatever party that troubled customer encounter in the future. Being stoic, at times, only further enables bad behavior. There are times to be defensive beyond protecting the ego.

@klg9549 4 месяца назад

I understand and agree with this. I had to leave a group that defended their "ironic" racism and got abnormally aggressive when I politely called it out. I was belittled, not taken seriously and left when I discovered I was always treated as an outsider on top of that. But there are members in the group who could become dangerous if they continue their beliefs. I strongly dislike mantras that say you have no control. Because the majority of people shrug their shoulders and say they can't make a difference, positive change isn't happening.

@BigBossMan538 4 месяца назад

This 100%. You put it into words excellently! There are people at work that were rude to me and I was afraid to stand up for myself for fear of insubordination and retaliation!

@brledoux7989 4 месяца назад

I completely agree with what you explained in a very concise form, probably because I think the same way. Certain comments that offend us, regardless of cultural differences, or if the person has had a bad day, can cause great mental damage to the person who felt offended and/or belittled. I try to be very careful and respectful with any individual, I really do not intend to “serve as an example” or that I know better, but simply out of a greater sense of justice, so that such harmful behaviours don’t get perpetuated. I accept that people criticize me if I behave inappropriately without being aware of it, but there are more supportive and respectful ways of doing so. The big issue is that common sense is different for everyone, and also, in my opinion, it should be noteworthy in order to avoid misunderstandings.

@sandrarenner4402 2 месяца назад

I agree

@AudoPlay Месяц назад

think you need to unlearn the punitive mindset, bro. it is not real justice to just harm someone back the way they harmed you. that just creates more hurt people, not less.

@healsoflove777 4 месяца назад

I understand the tendency to take things personally, and it resonates with my own experiences. Throughout my childhood, I received frequent criticism based on my identity and perceived shortcomings, which unfortunately led to internalized negativity. Now, at 40, I can still find myself taking things to heart. However, this insightful video offered valuable tools for managing such reactions. Recognizing one's core values and utilizing them for resilience is truly crucial. Thank you for sharing this important message.

@subject20productions2 4 месяца назад

My mother was a master at this and sadly she shaped me well, it cost me more then you can believe, including a wonderful marriage.

@amethystdream8251 3 месяца назад

Hey same, but if they pick at us it does mean they know we're the ones who are capable of better than they could achieve, and they're salty. The women in my immediate family too, love to play the self pity, relationships never work out, always alone game, because they can't admit to how their own negativity contributes to their relational issues. I no longer see their opinions as having credibility, and yes it is a daily process of healing, and I do wish that you also no longer let another stop you from the life you want for yourself. Good luck

@CuteAggressionn Месяц назад

Yes bc I'm only having this taking offense thing with my mother. I feel like we're both the same, but I'm going to take the first step in bettering myself and just try and be nice and compassionate towards her as possible.

@user-wh5ir4fo4r 4 месяца назад

My problem is that there is a person who does this and thinks everything I do is a silent condemnation of them. And then I'm not told and it's a grudge for 3 years until I find out. Really sick of it. Insecure people, get your act together.

@MarkThrive 2 месяца назад

17:36 the pivot... the drama melts away! Hallelujah !!! This can happen people!! I have been attending CHILDHOOD CPTSD therapy for two years and my self esteem has taken me to a place with self/parts integration and nervous system regulation... I've reparented myself to the point there is very little drama! No more living each day -jumping to conclusions!

@ry3833 4 месяца назад

finally, it feels like i can actually understand how to make better boundaries. i feel as though other people always say "make clear boundaries" without explaining what exactly boundaries are. For a long time, boundaries just sounded like ways to limit other people, which is why it never made sense to me what making good boundaries looked like cuz that just didnt sound right. I love that you worded it as "As soon as you pivot away from, "He needs to stop offending me" toward "Hmm, do I actually need to change anything?" the drama like melts away. These are clear boundaries." That makes much more sense to me on how to make boundaries and how to create that distance so i learn how to not take things personally

@ComputerLoveB Месяц назад

I just went through a moment where I was offended by an assumption made about my character and boy did it sting. While I did take some time to pause and think about the situation I was still feeling pretty peeved. I talked to them and expressed how I felt but they didn’t really respond so now I’m anticipating a second conversation. This video solidified some thought I was having letting me know I’m on the right track. 1) I had to ask myself “Girl, why are you so mad about something you know isn’t true. Just because you’re being accused doesn’t make you guilty” 2) I asked myself why is my go to defending myself in an attempt to make people see me the way I see me 3) why do I need this person to validate that I am a good person by giving me whatever outcome that would soothe my bruised ego? Some of this stuff was difficult to chew but it was the medicine I needed to proceed from now on. Thank you 😊

@michelemiller7046 4 месяца назад

I take notice when my gut unwinds itself and this video did just that. This is so insightful, thank you for posting this!

@terilloyd162 4 месяца назад

Thank you this is sooo constructive for me and I know exactly what to do to get out of my constantly offended, passive aggressive and lonely prison. I just love your infectious and loving, straightforward and happy style of delivery.

@Rach- 4 месяца назад

Please can we have a series on this! We all need it!

@AnnoulaXeni 4 месяца назад

Honey, Emma's whole channel IS a series!

@AuntKoolKat 4 месяца назад

I’m signing up! I’ve been praying for an answer to dealing with this on the daily!

@Humanessence778 4 месяца назад

This is really good! When you said loudly cleaning I couldn't believe it since we grew up with a vacuum cleaner that was used to express offense.

@seleneavalle1207 4 месяца назад

I'm from Argentina and fortunately we been trying to avoid comments about people's apparency but still is really common here. Love your videos, thanks and abrazos!

@wango556 4 месяца назад

This really comes from a place of integrity. When you demonstrate and live what you are wanting to receive things will change. To really do this though, you must live every second of life with extreme integrity. That means doing the right thing when NO ONE is looking. We do this so when people are looking it’s second nature. This fosters a life of worth and security in your own self efficacy and creates a totally internal locust of self control.

@mikei5550 2 месяца назад

What has helped me is adding this sentence to every judgement of others:”and they are doing the best they can.”

@meganbohl407 4 месяца назад

Oh my gosh. There is so much to unpack here. I feel like you are speaking directly to me. Thank you for this video!

@stephaniegreen3646 4 месяца назад

This was so helpful. Puts things in a whole other light. Thank you for the perspective shift and examples of what to work on.

@elfortney 4 месяца назад

I am in the process of taking things personally currently and this could not be more aptly timed. Thank you for the wisdom!

@growwithneeko Месяц назад

Yes!! You can’t control how other people act, but you can choose how YOU act/react. Love this.

@thomchapman2352 Месяц назад

I have to tell you how much I like your videos , they are extreamly informative and uber helpful. That being said I always feel and think that the battle with in me keeps telling me there is no real help or cure for the overwhelming problems that are inside my mind . I will say the battle inside is most times too much to even begin to stop ,breath ,calm down , take a moment , examine , redirect , or what ever it is to do . My fight or flight is on and there is nothing but seperation from what ever it is to help. your vids have helped me pinpointing what the cause of my issues are and that is amazing and cuts back on the isolation . I am rambling on but in my way I am thanking you for your help and support .

@miyannaable 4 месяца назад

The manner in which you use music to begin and end the show is beautiful. It makes the whole video feel natural and without the typical clinical feel. Also, I needed to see this today.

@firstlady3674 2 месяца назад

Oh my gosh! I am so happy I found this video. I needed to hear this. I seem to think everything is about me when it is not.

@crfishinmom2824 2 месяца назад

This is the single most important than my I have ever heard about me. Thank you. I hope I can heal myself so I can can be a better part of my other relationships.

@elaine4812 4 месяца назад

Released when I needed it the most! Thank you, thank you,THANK YOU! ❤

@jf2801 2 месяца назад

This therapist called me fragile and immature. I take offense to that. Wait...👀

@bluetickbeagles116 6 дней назад

😂

@ruthmathibelaijustlovethis93 4 дня назад

Magnificent!!!

@Voguemama 4 месяца назад

I’m so glad your channel has gotten so big. I found you during the pandemic in 2020 and your videos helped me out so much. I’m so happy to see how many subscribers you have now. God bless you now and always. ♥️

@rhllc8166 Месяц назад

Thank you so much. You just pulled me out of one of the worst holes I've ever been in. Thank God for your calling ❤

@Dan-pd9ys 3 месяца назад

Emma, you’re incredible. I have archived this video to watch again in the future. I’ve realized I’ve done some work on myself in this area, but have a long way to go, but the way your broke it all down actually felt encouraging and made me feel a true desire to shed old habits and grow. Your work here and in other videos is extraordinarily appreciated. No non sense, direct, yet empathetic and overwhelmingly positive. Thank you!

@DivineDianne 4 месяца назад

This was a really timely and awesome video. Its something I really needed to hear and so many of us do. Its amazing how all these negative emotions low key, " rewards us" in a way even though they are bad for us. I need to remind myself often, its probably something that they are going through that caused them to respond like that. It most likely has nothing to do with me at all. Thank you Emma for another real and helpful video.

@DawnMitscheleMusic 4 месяца назад

I love my therapist, but man, I got more out of this video (on this subject) than I have in the past two years working with her. We work on other things as well that she’s very helpful with, but you really nailed it with this particular subject for me. So helpful! Thank you!!

@chasing_mentalclarity 2 месяца назад

You are truly helping many people with your videos who are facing issues with mental health and anxiety. You are awesome ❤

@marydelacruz7373 3 месяца назад

You are so talented! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I learn so much from your videos and share with family and friends. How lucky we are to get this content for free...and from such a kind soul!

@zainebsalehjee379 4 месяца назад

Your keffiyeh on the bookshelf just made me like you 100x more 😊

@andreab2627 4 месяца назад

Excellent video, going to watch again. My challenge is my mother-in-law, which is hard, because we are so different. I keep trying hard, but then getting upset by her response.

@RM-bf7to 2 месяца назад

Thank you so much! I watched this 2x, then sent it to my partner. It’s helpful to hear the internal process of what’s going on when he’s lashing out defensively.

@EmbraceTheStruggle24 3 месяца назад

Hey Emna, just wanted to say that i think this was one of the most insightful videos you've ever done because i used to struggle with not taking things personally, and with all the bias we're surrounded with nowadays, ive had to learn to let go of past relationships and interests that weren't really serving me well anymore. We all can be kind to ourselves, and while i believe rudeness and insecurities can manifest in conflicting ways; toxic positivity can just as easily do the same if it isn't interpreted properly. Not only is IQ key; but so is EQ.

@dee5356 4 месяца назад

This is really such an insightful, informative and helpful video!Thank you Emma!

@melss94ish 4 месяца назад

Thank you for making this video. I know I have a tendency to take things personally. I can't take a joke at all. I overthink why people say what they say to me. I also overthink what I say to other people. I also grew up seeing my mom take everything personally. Proper communication was not something I witnessed. But I don't blame anyone. I just want to be better myself. There's some great reminders and tips in here I'll want to incorporate.

@user-fs9uv5cm8l 4 месяца назад

Brilliant!!! Thank you!!! I have always blamed myself for my difficult situations with my partner and my daughter!!! Your advice helped me alot . I was sitting here analysing and blami ng myself!!

@ajenks9 2 месяца назад

This video restored me to sanity - thank you so much! I’m glad it came into my suggested queue!

@bradleyslivinski6283 27 дней назад

Sincere thank you Emma! Not only was this helpful your style leveraging story telling from personal experience and quality of supporting visuals is TERRIFIC!!!! Please keep up the wonderful work you are doing it is so important! YOU POSITIVELY IMPACTED a large challenge for me.

@suellenpatrick3587 4 месяца назад

Wow, this nailed me, thank you.. I just recently found your channel and I follow it and told my adult daughter about you too. I am learning so much about myself. I know I would benefit from personal therapy but I just can’t afford it so thank you so very much 🙏🏻🤗

@TheRopiak 4 месяца назад

This literally happened to me yesterday, what started as me complaining about a joint task with a coworker I started to take offense to their repsonses even after they specifically said they were not about me. I apologized this morning but that was after ruiminating for hours about it and I literally kept saying to myself, this is so silly just stop. I'm glad this video is out lol.

@mariecarie1 4 месяца назад

So, I need to listen to this at least 5 more times to really internalize this. Thank you for this video. Thank you so much.

@Roz390 4 месяца назад

Thank you for your videos. It's so helpful to have a resource like this when I'm in the middle of a mental health crisis.

@mrsmc2612 4 месяца назад

This was a tremendous blessing ❤

@PurplePatch2 4 месяца назад

This is very helpful. And it’s true that taking responsibility for what you can control makes for a much happier life. And that taking time to reply and reflect without being inflammatory in your response and checking in with what they mean is helpful as is knowing your own values. I would add that assertive communication in some situations is important esp at times where someone is clearly trying to emotionally test you or repeatedly uses you as an emotional punch bag - even if it’s not about you. As in a very calm ‘I won’t be spoken to like that’ or ‘I appreciate you’re upset but if you continue to raise your voice I’ll have to end this conversation’ etc. It’s not to change their behaviour it’s more to vocalise what your values are and what you are and aren’t willing to accept which is a powerful message. And how you process things internally is also important but people can try to take advantage so while not showing you’re bothered is the best solution in most cases, some people need to hear what your boundaries are x

@rachelr8837 4 месяца назад

Yes true. Knowing when to hold your tongue or speak up is a gift. Good timing is important. People certainly aren't mind readers.

@BelleValentine-mu3fp Месяц назад

I just came across this video and I’m a therapist you you are GREAT! Thank you for doing what you do. I’m totally in. Everyone needs to be reminded of these powerful tools and how we can calm our nervous system in these challenging times.

@LePetitCoindeKaren 4 дня назад

This is something I needed to hear... Thank you so much. Great video!

@lisabeeke7162 4 месяца назад

Emma, this was perfect for today...for many days to come I'm sure as I practice putting my energy into making a change. Thank you for all you do for the world. May you continuously be blessed.

@AuntKoolKat 4 месяца назад

Me too, I will start putting this into practice at work and home.

@squakke Месяц назад

Yeah but sometimes people are actually insulting you...

@kimdanielle14 Месяц назад

True

@JosephBlanch Месяц назад

Definitely true. Absolutely some relationships are not safe. For instance I have an uncle who gives me a backhanded compliment every time I see him. I realized he’s not a safe person for me and I chose to downgrade the relationship and rarely interact with him anymore. I like the point she made about how other people’s comments and actions toward you are usually more about them than about you and it’s best to focus on what you can control--like choosing not to get upset about how your neighbor mows their lawn (that’s their side of the fence).

@annakinnard3795 29 дней назад

I once heard a therapist say..."don't miss a chance to get angry, offended, or feel insulted!"

@JGalegria 27 дней назад

Exactly! Or crossing boundaries, being controlling, trying to make you feel bad, whether they ever admit it or not.

@JGalegria 27 дней назад

@@annakinnard3795 no you really didn't

@leannesarco189 Месяц назад

You share such enlightening material in such a personable way, I get so much from your videos. Thank you!

@saloshniejagathesan1577 Месяц назад

Really resonated... Taking things personally, getting upset, certainly points to lack of boundaries on our part...

@Emani593 4 месяца назад

i LOVE this channel. Thank you.

@TherapyinaNutshell 4 месяца назад

Thanks!

@PrettyWhiteLady 3 месяца назад

I plan to take every word of this video in to work with a new counsellor I'm seeing tomorrow, and spend the next six sessions that I have with her mastering every word. This is my worst problem in life. But it also stems from being the scapegoat child of my family so I'm almost pre-programmed to take offense, pre-programmed to get victimized. another excellent therapist on RU-vid described it as being coated in tar around abusers, they pick up on it. I have literally almost been abused daily by different people over the last 2 weeks because I received a birthday card from my sister a day before my birthday 2 weeks ago and have had nothing but ruminating thoughts on all the cruel things that my sister and father have done to me over thirty years, until I kick them out of my life one year ago. She should never have been sending me a birthday card because I have told her no contact so I literally had to send an email on my birthday that I would go to the courthouse and get a restraining order. so my mind has just been this cesspool of victimization so it's like I'm a magnet for it. But I will win this war. I will win with help from women like this. ❤

@rosemaryclarke2348 3 месяца назад

You are so brave doing this! Well done! ❤🎉🎉

@PrettyWhiteLady 3 месяца назад

@@rosemaryclarke2348 Thank you, that's very kind of you to say! hey if you're interested in watching the healing journey in real time I'm going to have playlists on forgiveness, on recording a neuroinguistic programming script to change patterns in your brain and follow up videos to see if it's working for me, and lots of other great content! Some of my first videos should be up in the next few days if you'd like to join the other two followers I have so far, and become my third. 😁

@christinebeames712 2 месяца назад

You will win the “ war” when you decide to win , it is only your thoughts that connect you now , xxx

@TristineBarry Месяц назад

From a fellow therapist thank you so much! Not only for my clients but for myself you are an inspiration and I'm so grateful for what you do. God bless you. ❤🎉

@barryh13 Месяц назад

Amazing clarity, thank you!

@michelleborchert5406 4 месяца назад

This just happened to me last week actually. I am a manager and 1 of my bosses kept on one of my coworkers throughout the day and I was like hey don’t worry about it you know how she is. Well my coworker started saying she was going to quit. I said please don’t quit it. I told her there was nothing I could say to my boss because we all know how she is. So the next day I went to our other boss/her husband and I was like hey I think Mary really needs for you to let her know how valuable and appreciated she is here and possibly a raise since she does so much and deserves the raise. He pulls her back to his office and lets her know all of this. I guess at that point she felt attacked because she started attacking me. How I was a a negative Nancy and that I talk shit about everyone. Of course I know nothing about this until my boss tells me how I need to watch what I say or how I say it to others in the building. So I walked back to his office at the end of day and I was like what the hell happened? I felt completely and utterly stabbed in the back my coworker/friend. He told me she felt like she was being attacked and I said all I was trying to do was reassure her that she was doing a fantastic job and needs a raise. Yes I was being selfish and didn’t want her to quit. I had the best intentions when I went and spoke to him. He said he knew that but she didn’t interpret it that way. We didn’t speak for the rest of the day at work because she was pissed. I said fine whatever. That day I went into the bathroom and cried because I thought what the hell did I do? I shouldn’t have done that, I should have just let her quit. Then after the good ugly cry that I had I thought to myself I am done!! She obviously doesn’t trust me as her manager or a work friend. So I went home talked to my husband about it and the more I talked about it the worse I felt about myself and then I started questioning myself as a person like am I a bad person? A bad manager? A bad friend? My boss lady asked me the next day if myself and Mary could talk. I said sure but in my mind I was done being her friend. We talked she apologized for her bitchy attitude and taking offense to what happened to the day prior and I said thank you for the apology. I have to work with her and I don’t want it to affect work or our other coworkers but I will not have an outside friendship with her.

@awesomemax3330 3 месяца назад

Yes i think better to maintain relationship as colleagues and not have an outside friendship with her since she does misunderstand your intentions and chooses to get offended instead.

@ErinLady85 3 месяца назад

the real struggle is to pretend that others are not mad at you and ending up the most hated person in the group anyway, which has happened to ma a billion times despite putting all the best intentions and keeping my thoughts to myself. I don't read others well and by shutting down and 'taking a breath' I seem a very passive person, with colleagues and friends telling me 'why didn't you clap back and that jerk???' or 'I could never stand someone talking to me like that!'.... I'm really at loss here. Whatever I do (keeping my thoughts to myself, trying to mingle, put most of the blame of ppl being mean to me to external factors or me being an idiot) is wrong... then I inevitably get to a breaking point where negative feedback just breaks my heart and all i want is to change city and life. And honestly, I don't think I am such a great person, I know it's me... but also I don't understand how to not make others hate me....it just feels they hate me for not being extroverted and go getter or 'normal'. I think a lot of ppl think that I'm fake cos I don't get social rules and I fake understanding them but honestly i'm trying to do my best, I just feel like I was assembled wrong since I was a kid and I can't find where to adjust this negative mechanism.

@Mr3kiwis 11 дней назад

I can relate, as a fellow introvert who doesn't instinctively get the social rules. I imagine my feeling of disorientation and awkwardness in social settings is a lot like the culture shock people experience when they move to another country. Thankfully there are a few people in my life who understand and love me and around whom I can really be myself. Most of them are fellow introverts. It sounds as though you need to find "your people", ones appreciate your quiet, gentle nature. They are out there. Perhaps you could look into your personality type and seek out others of compatible types online in your area. I'm an INFJ and my besties are INTP, INFJ, and ENFP.

@Marmarukochi1 Месяц назад

Wow wow wow just wow, you’ve opened my mind. Knowing that being offended is one of our self defense because we feel threatened actually makes me realize that it was really is normal and no reason to make it as a big deal. It’s like every living thing has it’s own defense mechanism, we’re all just same ( in that context)

@quely1977 4 месяца назад

Wow!! Thank you 🙏 so much for sharing such powerful insight on this topic. Taking things personal has been something that have negatively impacted my life. I love what you said about understanding my core beliefs and the stories I have been telling myself through out my life. Then, Focusing on changing myself to become the person that I want to be instead of trying to change someone else who I think they should be. This is powerful clarity!!! ❤❤