Yep I couldn’t even have a glass of wine with him anymore because every time I put my guard down with him and felt relaxed he would use it against me. Anytime I found peace or serenity he would loudly disrupt and exitinguish any feelings of delight or happiness. I am grateful to be healing. 💕
Oh yeah!!! I have quite the story of how severely my ex projected his feelings about his own alcohol use onto me. He burnt down my life inside two years. He also used his projections in a smear campaign against me to his family.
I haven't drank in nearly a decade, and this is so true. The irony is, working in mental health, I always highlight addictive behavioral patterns within myself, and provide educational information pertaining to causation from childhood trauma/familial dysfunction and the narcissist becomes unsurprisingly defensive. Sometimes I do it for fun, if I'm being honest.
Before I knew what a narcissist was I blamed everything on his being an alcoholic. I probably put up with it longer thinking if he could stop drinking he’d be better- now I know his cruelty is baked in and alcohol amplifies it
So true! My experience has been they’re trying to cover up a mental health issue with alcohol. Which we all know it just intensifies the whole situation.
You are a blessing from God for me now I know to put a name to him l always did not now what was going on the abuse the girlfriends no love for his children no financial support the hatred for me l lived 23ys with that.l even lost my 2 children hi didn't even care thank you so much for making us understand it's not our fault God Bless you 🙏.
I work in addiction treatment…I cannot emphasize enough how fiercely a narcissist will hold on to their BS rather than make an effort to recover. They will be sleeping on the streets, literally, before they will admit THEY need to do something differently. Alcoholism and addiction is often a fatal disease in their case.
Yes, Chris, I agree. Belligerent denial. The addiction to Sadistic behaviour towards others is a drug in itself. This they will not surrender to even in Sobriety.
That was my childhood. We kids knew to get out of the house when Friday rolled around, but one always stayed behind to make sure he didn’t kill mom. We still suffer.
That makes me feel so sad that you had to fear for your mother. You were all robbed of so many memories that could have been good. It makes me wonder, we have some neighbor kids that never seem to spend time at home, if something drives them away like that.
Wow I was the one stuck around Friday night coz my friend was a 15 min drive away but I wasn’t allowed to get a part time job, didn’t get paid money for chores or an allowance and wasn’t allowed out unless it was to an activity which mine was mid week. Even having a sleep over at friends meant money would have to be spent on petrol to drive the car. No friends lived nearby walking distance. And since I had no money and was not allowed to get any I was trapped. For about 5 years I hated Friday nights. I never felt safe and just dreaded being home. If it was just Mum and me sure I’d love it, we’d have a great time together. But alas no. At least when my siblings were around with abuse there were more targets or we’d go outside say from it.
@AnaNomas-gu9hi, That's horrible that you have those memories and experiences, the same as all the other victims of narcissistic abuse- its unbelievable how cruel narcs are. But let me tell you, you are a gift, you are of huge value, and your kindness and understanding you have is priceless. Feeling broken by abuse is normal and completely valid, but please recognize you are an incredible, and worthy person just as you are ❤
i will always remember when he told me while being piss drunk after i asked him : why do you even love me ? he replied with a big smile on his face and so much confidence: " because you are stupid enough to love me " . And that is when i knew , lol
Narcissists cannot recognize love. They have no idea what it looks like even when it's being blatantly demonstrated to them. They think you're lying and trying to trick them. And finally even if they get to a place where they understand that someone does love them they think that person is stupid for doing so because deep down they believe that they are hideous unlovable freaks. It's amazing that your narc actually admitted his true feelings. It's incredibly rare.
The unhinged sadistic monster you encounter when they're drinking is their true self. One time in a rare moment of honesty he told me about how before he met me he would have women come over just to scream at and verbally abuse to the point of tears. He admitted he just got a kick out of it.
You are spot on in your comment! In Narc Land in vino veritas is the law of the land. With the lack of inhibition when drinking, the narcissist can’t help but put on display their TRUE TOXIC SELVES🤮🤮🤮
A narc will blame you for his alcoholism and subsequent money problems. Narc will spend $400-500 / month on expensive alcohol and blame spouse/family for money problems. Will chastise you for having 1 beer, but then sit up at night and drink 6 beers (gaslighting). Won’t admit to any personal flaw, will diagnose insomnia, when in reality it’s alcoholism, no care or thought to have good health to show up at one’s best for own children.
Oh wow the financial abuse and gaslighting finally makes sense now!!! I always wondered why my dad acted like we were poor and got upset when we spent literally any money, but clearly he was making enough to afford our lifestyle. Kid me never thought about how much 6-12 beers per night cost...
Drug ADDICTED narcissists uninhibited is a complete waste of human emotion. Yes, alcohol and other drug substances will not help the narcissist whatsoever and only makes them worse.
He was drinking heavily. Every day. He had two states then - one was severe depression during which he wanted to be left alone, and the other one was raging devil, during which I was exposed to humiliation and devaluation and physical violence.
My narcissist would normally drink 5-6 beers every evening. Then he would call me and be bubbly and silly - delightful. Then the night he discarded me, he had been drinking hard alcohol. He insulted my cat, my dog, my medical supplies- everything he considered imperfect about me. He was horrid and I never spoke to him again. But there was a distinct difference between the beers and the hard alcohol.
My husband rarely rages on beer unless he has too much. Any more than 4 has a chance of rage. He's not allowed to drink vodka because it is a guaranteed psychotic rage. He's agreed to this a milion times yet still thinks he can hide drinking vodka occasionally. The last time he drank vodka behind my back he started belittling me and so I went upstairs to watch tv. A few minutes later he comes up and starts screaming and cussing me out. So odd one of the things he said was "You never do anything wrong!" Like wtf? He was projecting his imperfections onto me. Then he threatened to call the cops. For what I have no idea. The next day he could not deny his behavior, but still would not outright confess to drinking vodka. It's exhausting and terrifying to deal with this. I'm so tired.
my fav. part is the insults they blurt out. tells you exactly how they feel. you must never believe them when sober and claiming they do not mean it. yes they do.
I’ve just recently realized this. Kinda explains why they talk very little. I felt like I was really losing my mind…over and over…thank God this is explaining the gaslighting mental and emotional merry go round, and the tools to “SEE” - “IT…THE NARC” and ability to RELEASE the TRAUMA BOND, FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING up until NOW, NOW THAT I KNOW BETTER, it’s up to ME, to DO BETTER. Give “MY”SELF…that scared LITTLE girl inside…the one I was supposed to PROTECT. I know now, that I had no way of “recognizing” the dangerous “people”. I never knew any different…TIL NOW! Thank God it’s not just me…I am not alone 😌
Thank you Danish for being such a Beautiful light for people like me who are beyond devastated because they have lived their WHOLE life with these awful demons around.😰🤢🤮👿👹💀☠ I don't want to live anymore but i love my pets too much and i live for them. Some narcs are much worse than Satan and the fact that a girl like me is not protected by anyone is so scary.🥶
I can fully understand what you must be going through. I am also in the same boat. I will pray for you. Don't worry God has his own unique ways to punish these demons...
@@AnaNomas-gu9hi You are right, i am protected by the angelic heavenly vibes of my pets.💖💝💓💞 And there are also great coaches like Danish who help us. It's that i would love to feel safe, to be happy and when you have evil narcs around you, you are not safe and you can not be happy!! I need good people in my life or to be alone, without these demons who kill my Soul 24/7.
@@vaijayantigulve4883 i believe in justice but....each day these monsters become worse and they get away with it! i am too tired, this nightmare is beyond! I just don't want to see their horrible face ever again and my Soul will be ok.
There's a difference between knowing you are protected and God punishing them. Justice takes the sting out of the wounds BUT it doesn't Protect us against it happening. That's obtained with asking God to protect us from all harm. Then thank Him for this answered prayer in Jesus' Name. Amen.
God is taking his time. My mother in law was a saint, she had 5 kids, all ruined by her alcoholic narcissistic husband. He is now 96, pig aorta, run over by the lawn mower, on and on he is still kicking 5 adult children ruined, God hurry up..... @@vaijayantigulve4883
Lived this for 5 years. Still healing 3 years out. Would not wish this experience on anyone, thank you for spreading your message and advice. It is helping more than you know.
I will heal and thrive. Ive exposed this narcissist. His family had his number and want nothing to do with him. My grandma was so right years ago when she whispered in my ear..get rid of the monster 👻 👽. Love u grandma 👵 ❤️ 😊
This is how my narc husband behaves normally. He's a bully. And he always gets away with it bc he flips a switch when the police come. He's giggly and friendly. Cops fall for it everytime. Especially the female officers.
I was afraid that would happen the first time I involved the authorities, so I made a somewhat "narc-like" move and introduced myself as Doctor Name&Surname, with emphasis on the doctor so they'd be primed to take my words seriously (I'm not an MD, but still a doc). Then I made sure to have a private convo with them and tell them about his prior convictions, and casually dropping in there some more info about myself... Basically try to make them get to know you, so that they can at least start doubting his charming facade. That luckily worked for me. I never like to flash titles or achievements but I think that was necessary. Best of luck darling ❤
Hey I subscribed to this channel a long time ago when I was trapped in a really abusive relationship with a narcissist and your videos helped me realize how I was being treated and why I was being treated a certain way and it helped me finally escape that relationship. Thank you for your videos they actually really help and they do reach the target audience.
They get worse in every way. The only time he would cry was when he had too much alcohol. He would rage at out more easily over nothing. He would get meaner too.
Wow! You just explained so much. I actually had no experience w people, alcohol problems. I never saw this person acting drunk. In fact, he didnt drink in front of me. It was holiday time, I had a dinner party. I made a French apple tart for dessery, served a melon ball sized scoop of rum raisin ice cream. A few hrs after everyone left I got this horrific phone call accusing me of purposely undermining his attempted sobriety by serving him store bought non alcoholic ice cream! He drank something somewhere, got ticketed by police, and it was all my fault! I later learned he had many other incidents and this ended our friendship. Never taking responsibility for anything, nothing they will not do, no lie they will not tell. Thank you bcs you explained it perfectly.❤️
So true, begged him to stop after beating me so many times. A true monster, addicted to alcohol and always blamed the vodka and started to drink beer. Went to his parents to another country and did nothing, you know why, he knows what he's doing all the time and can control himself, his image Infront of his family and neighbours is more important than his wife. In the end he lost his driver license
Danish that is spot on. Thankyou. My son has NPD & an alcoholic. His behaviour in drinking was appalling. Now, in recovery & and the 12 steps in recovery, I thought his behaviour would change. In fact, it was the opposite. In Sobriety, the narcissistic symptoms & behaviour were more visible without inebriation. It was then I realised he had NPD. All his hatred is on me & he has completely cut me off. Both his adult children do not have a relationship with him. I have much peace without him in my life. However, the mothering wound & loss are still bleeding.
Oh yes sir I know this type soo well mix it with other drugs and you'll want to skip every holiday , birthday and hope they just passes out somewhere in the corner before someone realizes they came with you..
This sounds like a rerun of my childhood with my narcissistic father’s behaviour when drinking. The shame I felt as a child was so real . My mother wasn’t much better. As soon as I could I went NC . I haven’t heard or seen them in decades, and I wouldn’t have it any other way ❤
@@user-ex4ce7gh1k I know , The one's I grew up with and my ex has no tolerance for a lot of alcohol Once we were staying in a motel ; they raged at me threatening to hit me, among other stuff then kicked my cat screaming all the while. To this day they will deny that they kicked my cat. I am still mad about that ,not long after that they let the cat out without asking me and the cat wasn't use to the area and afterwards when he didn't come home they would not help find him . I don't trust them with my animals
My ex was also an alcoholic. He was the worst person you can imagine when drunk, which was every night for a long time. He would nonchalantly tell me stories about his sexual experiences with exes just to hurt me, come to bed and call me names out of nowhere, pick fights even worse than his normal ones, etc. He did sober up for a few months, and he wasn't nearly as mean at night, but he still wasn't the nice guy I first got together with. It was during this time that I realized I was dealing with much more than an alcoholic, and that alcohol only made his existing issues worse. I still had no idea what was wrong with him, but it did become clear that alcohol was just magnifying a different issue he had, which ended up being NPD!
Was waiting for this. Very triggering and also helps somehow after 6 years married to an alcoholic narcissist. As soon as I had money, i finally left him. Has taken me years and still i can be triggered and go backwards
I lived with this for decades. The last few years were absolute hell. Thank you Danish for your videos. I discovered you after the divorce. I have no contact with him and neither do my adult children.
I come from a Narcissistic family system, where alcohol was used on a regular basis & was intertwined with everything. I'm sorry I can't answer your question; it is too overwhelming, toxic & unwieldy to even begin to unravel. I do not have contact with the alcoholics in my family any longer & through realizing I myself had alcohol problems quite a while ago. I started attending 12-step mtgs, & did what they suggested I do. It seems like all of the narcissists in my family all had alcohol problems & were probably alcoholics & that all of the "problem drinkers" in my family were narcissistic in some way or another. I used to drink a lot & think I was narcissistic at some times in my life but I found a solution to stop my drinking...
Yeah I know that this is true as I’ve been the victim of a narcissistic person I’ve tried so many times to understand so now I’ve gone no contact and everything is my fault
Oh yeah hell steal yours your expensive liquor when your gone go thru things watch you hide your things cause you have to hang around after you leave eat most of your food etc jkm
Spot on. Don't forget the hang over behavior. Miserable, in pain, sleeping off hangover. I'd stay outta way. Willful ignorance, forget the tornado they caused. Of course everyone else has the drinking problem.
Yep had one of those. He ran me down with his truck when I left him and he was drunk out of his mind. Thank God he died almost a year ago. He wouldn't let go of me even after I left. I found out when I was 69 what a narcissist was finding teachers like this site. Thankvu for teaching people. I tell others to listen.
Yes. A few days ago I managed to leave him. First time I resisted his hoovering. The last straw that helped me leave: on Friday night,drunk as he was, he was texting me pics of the beautiful singer lady performing on stage, whom he had gone to see, as she was an acquaintance of his, which I did't know. He texted me 'she is keeping me company'. At the same time when he was with the girl, he was sexting with me(on his own). A drunk grandiose narc's behaviour. I saw the real him. I confirmed that he does drink and that he does cheat on me. I snapped. I broke up. The devil dared hoover me s few days later. Now, he is furious with me. Yes, Danish, confessions due to alcohol. I fear his rage now. He is a co-worker. I 'll see him tomorrow. Does anyone feel disgusted?
Sorry to hear this. Please don’t believe him when he’s said he has changed or promises to change. Also, when he realizes that he can’t be in control, he will probably try to start a smear campaign against you at work. You may want to try and get another job and do whatever you need to at work to not have to be in contact with him.
Thank you sll so much for your replies and your warm support. Yes, the smear campaign at work I fear the most. At work he has an angelic facade. They adore him. That is how I fell for him To me, he is now frightening Danish, thank you. Your work added to my self-empowerment these months that led to me leaving this Greek jerk. God be with you all❤ Greece
AnaNomas, I am sorry for what you have been through. I already feel the shame of my reputation being ruined. You are not alone. I am sending you my best wishes❤
Yes Danesh, my husband is one... however I am in therapy and am learning how to navigate these waters. Most often when he goes on tirades or tries to pick a fight/argument, I just stare at him and say ok... just like you recommended...to not engage in his lunacy...
My first 20 yr marriage was to an alcoholic narc and it was horrible when he drank! And he groomed his son to became the same thing. His father would get so bad and called me the most horrible things and usually ruined whatever special occassion that was going on. And the next day woukd act like my hurt over what he did meant nothing because he was drunk whan he did what he did.
My covert narc would stop being a bully when drunk. He would get stupid saying and doing stupid things and acting like an idiot then walking around outside swigging whisky and beer from the quart bottles.
I agree💯✅️ this is exactly how my husband behaves....everytime i try to flee from him, I'm brought back (witchcraft, voodoo...) I and my son need complete freedom from this demon....God will make a way I believe...
When I first met my husband I thought he was so sweet & laid back. Turns out he frequently smoked weed & drank. When he got a driving job, he couldn't smoke anymore. Not laid back & certainly not sweet unless he has an agenda. He doesn't drink on the job but I swear he takes days off just so he can drink more.
@@Eet_Mia I didn’t. I’ve become much more aware of the situation lately. And just within the last year. We’ve been together 20. So, sadly, I guess I am the one that has changed. I realize I want better for me and our kids. I wasn’t even aware of it all before. Lots of revelations, and then realization of what we have actually been living with. Last night he lost his weed pen, and he was angry and awful to the whole family. He’s nearly ruined his relationships with his children. I see it that he has either the inability to recognize how he is with us, or just doesn’t care. He does have a choice in the matter here. He can set down his pride, be receptive, listen to others when they pour their hearts out to him, practically begging for his repentance and change, become self aware, and take the steps to heal. Or he can continue to suppress everything and slap a bandaid over it.
@@sahdogwrangler5594 yeah and sneaking and smoking like we don’t know. Like when he walks in the door, and I’m talking to a helium balloon. I do love him. But it’s so hard now, since realizing that lack of emotional connection when he smokes/drinks. And when he doesn’t … oh boy!… definitely no connection happening then 😩
@@Eet_Mia yes definitely a better option! Buuuut when it becomes a crutch, is where we end up with problems. And high 24/7 isn’t very fun for the sober person that would like to have an an actual adult conversation, or some type of emotional connection 😔
He was way more aggressive and could get physical. He insisted on being focused on when he was drunk. It was more magnified. At one point he did try to stop drinking. When he started drinking again he blamed me. He wondered what was the point of stopping when I was still acting like he was the problem. I explained to him that there was something wrong with him and the alcohol just made it worst. (This was before I realized it was narcissism, the only thing he had been diagnosed with was ADHD. His behavior though did NOT seem to be that. At times it seemed almost like BPD. But the family members that I have that have it were nothing like him.)
People talk about dry drunks. I believe they’re narcissists who aren’t currently drinking. When a narcissist drinks, you’re in for The Storm of The Century Shit Show due to the exponential escalation of their already abusive narcissistic traits. Their nastiness and rage are beyond explosive and I believe can morph very quickly into physical violence. They act like an extremely spoiled child; they must be STAGE CENTER AT ALL TIMES. If they perceive that not happening, look out for the rage! >>> People
My ex husband would drink daily starting after that last cup of coffee until he passed out at night. Boy he vould go into a rage that would last 3-4 hours. I was blamed for everything under sun and called horrible names all so he could "express his emotions."
My alcoholic covert narcissist mother is a nasty drunk. She unexpectedly turned up drunk at my house the other week (a friend dropped her here at her suggestion). I try to never be in her presence when she has been drinking. I just sat almost holding my breath & not speaking, while waiting for my father to come and get her. She'd normally provoke me, but I've done a lot of work to get past my childhood. Next is working on the abuse from my covert narc ex.... It's depressing that I was somewhat primed to connect with people like them.
Seen a parent like this for so long I stood up and fought for it voicing alone paying a big price for having done so. We don’t know we can fight as kids so we wait till we grow up to call some things out as a responsibility. Deep within I feel compassion for the hurt child that causes them to become this. I pray everyone gets to meditate for life and be aware and see who they are and what harm they caused others. Every point in this video especially the denying they ever said or did something so hurtful. And I see this in young friends too. How we have to stand up and recognize if at all we ever even slightly lean towards become a mirror of what we see growing up, it’s our responsibility to put our own foot down call ourselves our call the ones who caused all this out, forgive everything that happened in the past (some things can scar for the remainder of life if we give it that power) & I found my way from distance go no contact and risk being alone for life but I no longer will be ok with sitting and being fearful just cuz it’s adult or it’s another man or whatever. Unacceptable is unacceptable in any form. Still I want to approach it with compassion. That’s the most difficult part and mediation helps in this. Big time! We can chose to be the example be sober show them the way the light in darkness, even if often it would go misinterpreted. Thank you for this video and all you share. It’s really helpful 🙏
So true the mask falls off as soon as they’re drinking alcohol! I couldn’t believe it when it 1 st happened I thought it was because they were drunk 🥴 oh no it just got worse! I’m 5 years free I moved away! Also called me the alcoholic 😮
My narc was getting very rude and more opened. And I had the feeling that she is more pleased about something. I never understood this, and was confused to see those complete opposite feelings (the hate from the argueing and her enjoyment) Now i understand it. ... Oh god
Absolutely emphasizes the worst in them.I actually saw the devil with 100 rows of teeth siblings, parent, cousin-in-law worked together 😭😱😱😱 they each had their turn until I was so broken left in desperation with my children 😞 . The very next day the boss would call as if nothing happened 😳 ambushing New Year’s Eve . It’s over now finally at peace they’re still alive except for the father and cousin-in-law . Is it bad if I don’t miss them? The boss is still kicking but lost 👆 these two. My poor mom is a puppet the drunken puppeteer’s only source along with my younger sister 🤷🏻♀️ once my mom goes in peace, she’s 92 will be the only time she’ll have peace poor mom. God said “ let vengeance be mine ““ Romans 12:19 . My children and I survived them we are very fortunate. When mom goes they don’t exist anymore 🌹
My son is struggling with this. He stopped talking to me approximately six years ago. He blames me for everything. Six years ago he started was drinking heavy and started ranting. It was very scary how aggressive and angry he was. He had a lot of hard liquor that day/night. I am so concerned with his health.
There are plenty of people who aren’t narcissists and have acted like that when they have had too much to drink. And people who barely drink. Alcohol has a unique way of converting anyone into a manic episode. This idea that anyone who drinks and then acts in any of these ways is a narcissist is absurd to me. Way more nuanced than that. I also love when drug and alcohol counclers chime in. Their whole industry is a scam. Success rate below 2%. Any business like that and yes it’s a business inthe private sector would be out on their ass in the first year. The only people they help are people who have decided to help themselves.
Sounds like my dad during his binge drinking days. At one point my mom moved us out from our house into my grandmother's house while he drank, womanized and acted like he was single. In looking back my mom was just as sick for enabling his behaviors and doing nothing to stop that from happening. I told her one day "Mom I would've have thrown his ass in jail as he deserved." It felt good to say that. 😆
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i have a child with an alcoholic narc, hes draining the life out of me... cant take it.... im 24 hes 30. he controls every aspect of my life, have no friends, moved me to a different state to isolate me from what little family i have. :( i feel defeated. theres no way out
Thank you for sharing your views and expertise. I have been with a narcissist/alcoholic narcissist partner for almost a decade and I have recently been diagnosed with MDD and anxiety distress disorder as a result. I finally got the courage to call the police during an especially violent drunken attack and just let dispatch listen to what was going on and they sent units out to the scene. I am now trying to develop an escape plan and get to a domestic violence shelter and hopefully disappear from him forever. I'm so scared of losing everything but I'm equally scared of being killed at his hand, or even living like this for the foreseeable future. I had no idea he was truly a narcissist until your videos. I just thought he was displaying symptoms of his TBI and PTSD, but I was wrong. I was trying to be a supportive, patient partner because I thought all of it had to do with his disabilities. But in fact, it's so much worse than that.
Ah, they just got worse, in what they do, this performance they do, 'for a living.' When criticised, I reminded them logically, that the door is not locked from the inside. Nothing prevents you from leaving, in order to have your 'freetime.' I think that they act like cold hot shit, instead of cold cold shit, under the influence of alcohol. You almost want to have empathy, for such pitiful creatures, but that would be rediculous. Also, one laughed, was mean, acted like they ruled the world, was quite obnoxious, criticised... and cried, all in about 8 minutes time, all of which is what I call 'flip-flopping.' I got a blank stare after I asked, 'why do you flip-flop'? They said, 'I don't know.' I always heard, 'Oh, you know me so well.' Then came more tears on part of the Narc. 'Yes, I know you, but that is not a reason to be together.' Another got very cold-hearted. There was no sign of the charming, hospitable person I had met. When I first saw this person, I said to myself, 'now who is this devil?' I could have changed history, if I would have ignored their advances, like showing up at my home uninvited. You know, I think that there was an old friend of mine, who thought that we might make a good couple. Maybe that person, gave the Devil my address. Maybe they were jealous or devilish themselves. I am against 'blind dates.' A friend's impression of someone, is not how they really are. Also, who knows how many games were being played on me, at the time. The good old friend might have wanted to hurt the partner of the Narc at that time. The old friend might have been laughing their head off at both, or all of us. There was no escape, as all worked for the same orgsnization. I'm also against relationships, with colleagues. The Narc and their 2 colleagues got into business. It was a big mess, where they all did each other in. Fate also hit them on the head. My life is OK. I made my choices, with the info I had. I had losses too. I moved on and far away from them, in spirit, with the new facts, which they provided for me. Those were all good decisions, in my mind. I have found my own kind of happiness and I don't think of them much, although, if they are alive, they could be on the same street, where I am doing some shopping. They don't live so far away. They gave me enlightenment, about the dark side of the world. The alcohol ended one 'relationship.' The other was ended by a show of brutality. Find a way, to not need them as a source of anything a human needs. Be self-sufficient from the beginning, so that you can recover when they have to leave. Don't be friendly, if you see them. Be emotionless. Keep moving, living YOUR life. ❤
the narc i know actually only stays calm bc he gets his drinks… if that is taken away, he cannot sit with himself… then it gets worse… it’s better he gets what he wants
My ex took 2 bottles of wine everyday.. When it wasn't wine, he changed it to wodka, I worked in a liquor store, he asked me to buy 9 liters of wodka every week. When I told him I wil lstop buying him this because he is an alcoholic, he got sooo angry and denied it all over the years. 4 months ago I finally broke up with him... He was on my door last day and said me he didn't drink this past 4 months... Like it was all on me. I was the problem. And yes, that was 1 of the million things he said to win me back. Now he see what he is missing, blablabla.. Really I Don't believe anything he says anymore. 😅
This is true and I can testify to this. I had to dive deep into myself because I too was addicted to alcohol and being with a narcissist b boyfriend made it worse. Actually, he was more of an addict. I was more of a social drinker. When I would speak truth, question him, or call out his obnoxious behavior, that's when the demeaning, curse words, 'shut the f-- up' and even physical abuse would occur. After the 2nd time, I knew it wasn't me, it was him. The alcohol exposed it.
