5 Early Signs You Should NEVER Ignore in a New Relationship 

What did you use to animate

Ahhh I love it! :)

@@neqqkokat.flyhightweek5457 girl it’s been 10 seconds since the video got posted

I love it!

i always find you very helpful Psych2Go

Thank you

Thanks

Thank you now.

@@Baraodojaguary sometimes it isn't necessarily narcissistic ...maybe someone hadn't Iike someone in a long time but when they do, they are chasing? Like u said, it is about intentions. 😀

@@Baraodojaguary you def have time. I am 36 and I just found a guy whose 38...even then neither of us are rushing. We are both trauma survivors. 👍

For sure! Did you want to share this video?

Lol you take friendships way too seriously unlike relationships friendships are for fun calm down

Ya!

@@ryanarthur5035 uh they're not just for fun friendships are are just relationships without romance you also need to put effort into them they're just as important

@@ryanarthur5035 friendships are important, and your support system if you're dealing with an abusive person. Which is why an abuser will discourage you from seeing your friends, talking to them, talking about the relationship with them. They want what they do behind closed doors to be kept secret, so they can do it a longer time. It's part of the isolation phase.

Thank you!!

Dislikes family/friends*

How did I miss all 5??!!

@@derikbarbieri8753 same here

@@ploopybear definitely stay out of it

i guess everyone lives their romantic lives differently

See this is why glossing over love bombing can be dangerous. Some people know from the start. What is the difference between the two?

I think they mean red flags that you should be cautious of, but doesn't mean anyone who does these things are abusive

@@latemporis5430 I think so too but it reminds me of the famous Max Planck quote. "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

I feel like the terminology of “jealous freak” is kind of insensitive towards those who do experience jealousy in a non-malicious way. Personally I tend to be a little jealous in my relationships sometimes because I’ve experienced being with partners in the past who’d spend most of their time with their friends and people I “didn’t have to worry about” (you can guess what happened there), but wouldn’t give me a whole lot of attention even if I tried to request it from them.

That's toxic af thx for the advice Take care of urself my dear 💕

The fact that I could relate to everything you said killed me... I'm in the process of letting go, and what helped me a lot is realizing that there's always more out there, there's something better out there, honestly I feel like I've been sort of happier since we've distanced ourselves a little, part of me doesn't want to accept it and part of me knows that it is the way it is, in fact I've never actually told someone that I think about that, so I'm glad this is a safe space to vent, everyone is so supportive here🥲 so remember guys... treat everybody with respect, you don't know what that person may be going through...

@@ajm6109 I'm sorry you could relate to my experience but let me tell you something, I think the difficult part here is the "why didn't they love me? After all I did?" You keep believing that there's good in them because they showed it to you at first so you keep fighting and tolerating and sacrificing for that good part to rise again, but it was sadly never there. Ironically, part of why I stayed was that I was "waiting for my turn to be loved" because I knew I deserved it, I kept waiting because if anyone out there were to love it should've been him, I'd given him my time, I was his bank, therapist, doctor, parent and basically his mother. So if he didn't love after all that I'd offered, who would? Letting go can be difficult because you're not just letting go of the person, you're letting go of everything you'd given them, you keep giving more so you don't feel like you've wasted all of what you've given before for nothing until it drains you. You just need to know when to give up sometimes and leave battles that aren't for you to fight. I always had that (never give up) mentality so it was really difficult for me to fully accept that this was a loss for me, a loss of my strong, happy self and of course, everything that I'd sacrificed as if or meant nothing, so I deserved nothing in return. But after a long time with myself I realized that the longer I stay the more I was going to lose, the worse my depression would get, it drove me to commit suicide twice and his friend said: how dare you, you didn't think about what he'd feel if you actually died? You didn't think who'd be by his side? So I basically never mattered. You keep lying to yourself in order to believe their lies and dismissing their abuse as "they're just in a bad place now" but the truth is that you should never feel like you're fighting for your basic rights, or to be loved, or to explain your self when you were clear as daylight. It's hard to accept the loss, eventhough it's not your fault that you were fighting for someone who was fighting you because even realizing that it was their fault it is still your loss unfortunately, but accepting that loss and walking away is a victory, getting your old, happier self is a victory, feeling like you didn't waste a gem as yourself over such a horrible person is a victory. Don't worry, someone WILL love you with all your scars, flaws, past experiences and most importantly for all the good in you, which you may have started to believe that it no longer exists or at least isn't as big as your bad. The real fight here that you should take on is to undo all the brainwashing, because unfortunately, a lot of people don't recover from it and keep attracting more abusers just because they couldn't change their mentality. Please be strong for yourself, choose your battles carefully and know that a relationship should make you happier and more comfortable, not walk on eggshells. Hope this helped. please come back and vent some more if you ever feel like it.

@@andromeda5966 that's the tip of the iceberg lol. You're most welcome 💗

Wow and Thanks! 😢Really feel like I'm going crazy or something but u just showed me im not. Thanks a million😉

I can relate. Keep your pimp hand strong.

@@gavinfarris7624 Dude. No.

how did you stop love bombing? sorry but i think i’m doing it unintentionally to my current partner and i want to stop but don’t know exactly what to do

@@tooth3547 Honestly, I just had to learn through the pain of a heartbreak. But it's good that you realize that you're doing wrong. Best advice just know your worth and keep being a king. Let her love you instead of enforcing it

I have adhd, and my ex has her own issues I won't talk about since it's not for me to say. But yeah when I watched this video first, it made me feel so bad, like I was weriding my ex out by me being me and my adhd and other issues from birth making me very affection and very vocal to say who makes me happy and why. I am hyper sensitive from childhood trama, but regardless of all thoses, and me just being me, I feel I couldn't be as helpful to her as she was to me in our journeys in life. And I feel bad for her. I still can contact her, and I can ask if she thought I was being a terrible person and explain to her how I am. But life has moved on for both of us. And she deserves to not have her past keep finding her. I don't know why I am even saying this to you as a reply. Regret, self hatred... I just know your comment makes me feel better since I felt so terrible thinking I was unknowingly an abusive person, but my adhd and other mental issues are a likely explanation and I now know I need to work on so much more before I can even consider dating anyone again. So thanks I guess.

Exactly, lol

I have adhd too and I'm feeling bad with this

Wow you just explained me. Thanks

Thank you, these are the parts I was getting so worried about. I don't think I need to worry because it was a mutual thing but my girlfriend and I had definitely said "I love you" very early on so I got worried about that

Congrats! What do you think was the secret to your happy relationship?

hehehehe, it's a secret

Communication!! That’s the key for everyone wanting to know

Narcissist 101

Sounds like you were with a narcissist

I afraid to go to fast into a new relationship. I know my luck. I never had any.

I'm in this situation now, don't know how to get out of it. Really wish I'd realised sooner 😪 I'm glad you've managed to free yourself from that though! 😊

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Could you elaborate on each?

@@Psych2go I’m not so well with English but… When u are understanding one u will ask about explaintoins before any misunderstandings and I think it’s the first long term step to stay, briefly explanation

@@amra101 true

@@amra101 me and my partner are having some sorta conflict right now, and we're lacking of communication it's been 5days since we argue and rn he blocked me in every media i could reach him and it's kinda hard to reach him out since i can't message him. Am hoping for us to deal with this problem :

@@makulemon6064 I am sorry that you are dealing with relationship issues. The comments on here are true good communication and willingness to work together on solving issues is essential for a healthy relationship. Your partner should never put any barriers or limitations on you when it comes to communication. What they are doing to you is wrong and abusive (mentally and emotionally). The lack of ability to contact them makes you sad and I am sure left you feeling unloved and unwanted. Please take the way how you're being treated by your partner into consideration and take care of yourself.

Uh... Nope. A red flag means PROBABLY bad. The whole point is to signal something is probably, bad. A bad habit and a red flag are different. Red flag means "maybe not bad, but likely a bad person" (correlation). Bad habits is actually bad. They are bad themselves and cause bad things. For example, adhd and autism lovers simply love bomb, that's how we are. We aren't toxic for being natural to each other. Love bombing for us and others isn't the same. And just because the other doesn't like it doesn't mean we shouldn't either, that's essentially repressing what is ourselves. It's not a problem between only us. Sometimes things are just incompatibilities. Also, it's important what you said "trust your gut" but the problem with that is, you should trust your intuition not your gut. Intuition doesn't have a feeling or emotionally feeling that accompanies it. Gut feelings (fear, insecurity, etc) do. I'm so glad I didn't trust my gut and kept to my intuition despite all the feelings. My bf and I are amazing together.

@@macaroni586 You make some very interesting points and I like that you make a difference between intuition and gut feelings. I said gut feeling, but I meant intuition, thank you for pointing that out to me. I think you also make an interesting point on the difference between red flags and bad habits. I think sometimes they are different, but sometimes the habit is a red flag. So it's something to pay attention to. I also like your input on how ADHD and autistic lovers act differently. It's something I didn't know, but is incredibly helpful to me. I still believe the things I said are valid, but you add a very interesting and useful perspective. Thank you. I wish you and your bf happiness.

I couldn't have said it better myself. My ex girlfriend doesn't understand what she was doing or why she was doing it. That lack of self awareness doesn't make it ok. She still paints me as the villain for breaking up with her, accusing me of having never loved her. She checked off every box in this video, and after 3 months of dating, I knew I needed to either get out or accept that this is the way it's going to be.

@@macaroni586 I've noticed lately that it's trendy to use autism and other mental disorders as justification for abusive behavior. I'm not saying that's the situation you're in. My brother and his partner both claim to be autistic and they are both physically and emotionally abusive and codependent. Just one example of how they manipulate each other is by threatening to commit suicide. The police have been called multiple times for domestic violence but they choose to stay together. The reason they accept this kind of behavior from each other is because they don't believe they deserve better.

The fact that I can accidentally do these sort of things actually scare me and I don't want to lose control of myself. Being pure in spirit means everything to me.

Agree with this wholeheartedly. I said "I love you" to my ex 4 weeks into our relationship and waited to have sex until I said those words. It was my first relationship at 25 because I thought I found the one. She ended up pregnant and we decided not to keep the baby. Things seemed different afterwards with her and when she broke up with me I kind of had a feeling when she told me we needed to talk but I didn't want to believe it. In the end it was the best thing to happen because it shedded light on my personal issues that were masked by the honeymoon phase. She also seemed reluctant to share personal things with me while I on the hand, gave my heart to her fully. It's just the way I am.

Also should clarify that we worked together so I knew her for quite a while beforehand.

Get therapy. Tell your therapist what you told all of us crazy RU-vid viewers and listen carefully to what they have to say.

@@gavinfarris7624 I have gotten years of therapy and been priased for being introspective and self aware. No single person is the same on this planet. Thank god. Love is free and so is happiness. My heart knows no bounds. I must follow the logical and rational path but I let my heart open expansively along the way and have cultivated some truly incredible relationships. I am greatful!

Great. Are you married tho?

Thank you for taking the time to post your comment. It’s definitely something to think about and consider when evaluating a situation. And definitely one that I never thought of. It’s eye opening.

You're making excellent points! Dating someone with ADHD I was just wondering the same about lovebombing, but like you said, there's no controlling or gaslighting involved, they are just very intense!

My husband is ADHD. He has Rejection sensitivity too. After 5 year marrying him,he beat me to death because I don’t want to do what he was telling (irrational order like throw all my make up) It’s crazy loving with these people! At first it was soo good!!

@@annamaria1984 I'm sorry to hear that, wish you all the best

@@annamaria1984 it sounds like you are very unhappy in your marriage. If he beat you to death he is probably unhappy too. Maybe it isn't meant to be. Just saying 🤷

Talking about the joke making you feel bad and you don't like it is a boundary. Yelling and getting pissed off, getting offensive without a resolution at the end, flipping the script to make you out to be the bad guy is a red flag. We all make mistakes and without compromise snd honesty, nothing will work.

If you get angry to the point that you don't even accept an apology and keep yelling on your partner then that's a problem. Everything else... It's hard to tell. Some people have higher tolerance to sensitive people and can handle more. Also some situations can be righfully trigering for that person and joking about that is not good. I would say: if your guts are telling you that this person is not for you then I would listen to them. Even if that person wasn't actually hipersensitive. Maybe they were toxic, and maybe they were ok but your relationship would be toxic.

Personally my now ex was hyper sensitive and a gaslighter, I could easily vouch for that being a horrible thing. Basically, he would get offended by my sheer presence if he didn't want it at that very specific moment and hadn't communicated it. And if I asked him something innocent like if he's done his daily quests in a game, he'd twist it and say I had some ulterior motive of asking and argue with me. There are hundreds of examples I could give from this particular person because I didn't realise it's something that was never going to get better... so being sensitive is fine, but getting offended by something like "bananas are yellow" for the sake of it isn't. He always twisted anything I said into what he wanted, always accused me of things and suspected me of meaning something different when I would innocently ask him about something. He also always made sure to guilt trip me and make me feel bad, and I wasn't entitled to my own opinions without resentment. "But you did x", "I NEVER....", "But YOU...", are phrases he'd commonly use because he took offense from anything and refused any responsibility for his feelings or actions. He slept with a girl, and turned it around to blame me for losing her as a friend (the girl willingly broke contact with him and apologized to me after I explained to her what was going on, it's a long story). And in general just blame, blame blame, twist twist twist and a lot of temper tantrums if I didn't agree with him about something. It seemed like he was trying to just "win" the conversation in some f'd up way. And he always, every day, reminded me of how I was limiting him from doing certain things because I wanted to spend time together, "I can't do anything I want anymore" as he liked to say, which I wasn't. Perhaps from sleeping with other girls since we were in an established relationship and that's crossing a very clear and common relationship boundary... but the rest of the limits he made up for himself and trapped himself. It almost seemed like he WANTED to be offended by anything I said and he shouted and screamed at me a lot over trivial things... And whenever I expressed I was upset because of his behavior, he made sure to imply he was more upset suddenly. It was EXHAUSTING. So I think that's what's being implied in the video?

@@Heartshackles Thank you for elaborating and sharing your experience. I hope you know that it was more of a reflection of his insecurities and pain much deeper than he would ever be willing to admit. No amount of psychological damage is an excuse to be unkind and inconsiderate, and closure isn't really a thing most of the time in life, but all we can do is try to be understanding/compassionate, with a reasonable amount of distance.

@@elizabethfisher1331 Right. People are deeply imperfect.

Sounds like both sides had different expectations! But glad you are out of something that could have been toxic.

I just dated her twin.. felt great while it lasted

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@@thepowerofemotionalcompete4032 Thing is, I don't want a relationship now. I am happy alone.

If you ever find your self dating for a casual physical connection just be up front about not wanting anything more serious. Some guys will move on in search of a soul mate, but a lot of guys out there who don't feel ready for a high maintenance or long term relationship are open to something with no strings attached.

@@gavinfarris7624 I am looking for a serious connection, they just want sex, or someone the can control or manipulate. I am a woman with my own mind. Most men I meet do not understand me, treating me like I am stupid. That irritates me. 😤 I know a great many things but when a man act like I know nothing, that's when I just walk away. Another thing is you really can't have a relationship without a face to face meeting.

No worries! Hope she finds happiness with someone better!

@@Psych2go I do too! :)

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@@advicewisdom8477 im good, thanks. 😭

Girl the same happened with me in the beginning of my relationship and it was very confusing.... Especially the part 'wanting to spend a night together after one month of dating ' I knew things were rushing but was constantly coerced and assured by saying everybody has their own pace . I did things for him I didn't want to , my boundaries were violated 😕😕 Loving bombing happened and when I didn't match that level of it...I was compared and told I didn't love him....I am 7 months into the relationship and it's not going well, I am going to end it today 😔😔 My mental health is unstable....

Good to know, I hope I can figure the difference between narcissists and people with ADHD

Thank you for the support! :D

@@Psych2go happy to help

this comment bangs

Yeah, I have a similar situation right now and it's exactly the same.

Glad that you could see things differently now! Sounds like you got out of a really toxic relationship and on your way to find something healthier.

@@ploopybear that... isn't really the point with that.

@@ploopybear yeah but that's not the point tho is it, it's about being faithful to your partner

(I said she isn't going to get pregnant)

Almost everybody has done these things mentioned in the video at some point in their past relationships. Just because these red flags can mean it could lead to a toxic relationship, doesn't mean that it has to. Your examples are very situational and people are all different. Your subtle coercion is more like a health dose of jealousy. Your hypersensitivity is more like being slightly more cautious and self protective. Your dislike for that lesbian friend can be somewhat justified because of events. It's when these things are done to an extreme and done in every relationship that one is a huge red flag. Don't overthink too much about whether you are a toxic person in relationships. I feel this video is way too shallow and might make certain people unsure about themselves and rather have a negative effect. If whoever is reading this is already overanalyzing themselves because of this video then you probably aren't a toxic, narcissistic person.

You should like a very nice person. Permit me to comment on your fifth point, (rushing into commitment) means: you just met a person and within a short time, you're engaged to them, making marriage plans, babies etc. Rushing to make major life decisions

It reminds me of a recent situation which isn't over yet. A guy found me on a friendship app, which I was using to avoid romantic dates, and he would say he had fallen in love with me, that he had been waiting for someone like me for years. At first it was nice, but soon he started asking for my feelings and being hurt and crying bcs my answer was I didn't feel much yet. After 3 weeks he pushed me into saying I was his girlfriend or would block me forever, so afraid of losing him I said so. But the next day I was all anxious. Later it's been him suffering bcs I didn't accept to give him my love, me trying to help him but my words wouldn't work for him, he trying to teach me what to say, and a circle of my anxiety with his long texts and his suffering at every chance he gave me to love him back. I try not to feel guilty but wonder if I was mean to him, since he claims he was just offering love and doing what is best for both of us.

@@Eldamarth Be careful of speeches like this, where people say 'I'm doing the best for us' when they're actually doing what is best suited for them. If he was doing what was good for you too, he would at least consider your feelings (or the lack of them) for him and wouldn't force you into anything. All I really could understand was that he was doing it for himself 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have actually been there tho, until I finally stand up for myself and be clear I took my time. Well, in my case, I think (more like I hope) he wasn't an abuser, but the experience teached me I had to have more clear boundaries.

I'm glad you put yourself in 1st place, a relationship like that would only drain you endlessly. And you know what? When we give up ourselves and finally say 'yes' to them instead of saying 'no' we teach them to keep insisting knock on that door because, a few moments later, we'll open it for them, as if we're saying 'Please, try to convince one more time'. Don't give your power so easily to anyone like that, please 🥺 No relationship is worthy losing ourselves in the process. Wish you the best, hope you're safe!

@@lorranycarvalho9432 Thank you so much kind stranger, I really needed to hear this❤😢

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Ngl sounds like you dodged a bullet bro

This sounds very similar to my relationship with my ex and how it ended around 3 months ago. It fucking hurts I know but you have to realise that relationships are hard and get worse when you start having to think of things to make it "work". When my relationship got to that point about a week before we broke up I already knew in my head it was over and everything started to become forced after that. Sounds like you really did dodge an emotional bullet bro and take some time to better yourself and everything will fall into place it always does.

I'm glad you are reflecting on the good and bad of the relationship, I do that after every relationship. And i try to do better the next time. When I was first getting involved, I was way too clingy with them, didn't allow them enough space to just be themselves, hang with their friends. I wanted them to spend every free moment with ME. It sounds to me like you were doing some of that, it comes from insecurity. And being jealous of her friends, also insecurity. Work on your own friend group, hobbies, self esteem so you are a complete person with or without a relationship. If You're seeing someone twice a week, and the rest of your week is spent with school, work, friends, family, hobbies, clubs etc, then if a relationship ends you don't lose your entire world. One of my therapist told me that I love more deeply than others, so it's really easy for me to make my world revolve around that other person. If they're abusive, they'll like that, but not if they're a regular person. It's too smothering for them. I learned to back off and give people space, and enjoy my time apart from them too. Each successive relationship lasted longer than the prior Ones, so I guess I got better at them.

Sorry for the late reply! Thank you so much for the donation, Darkflow. Your contribution goes back to our content.

Thanks for sharing and being honest about this :) What do you plan to do next after realizing this?

@@Psych2go keep reminding myself and self realising should do it. I will share my needs with my partner instead of acting out in a bad way. Learn about anxious attachment from Jessica Baum helps alot.

You are so welcome! :) Glad this video helped. Do you know anyone who show these signs?

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Aww thanks :) This means a lot. We hope our content helps!! Glad you like the animation!

No one writes love letters anymore, so nice

its okay...keep moving on life...:)

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Glad it could be helpful. Do you have any requests?

@@Psych2go what to do after highschool

Claimed.

Oh nvm they responded 😳

Claimed

Here within 2 minuets

Neat

Mental health issues can come from bad relationships.