Oh my god Elizabeth! Finding people who have Anxiety + ADHD + Trauma of having had neglectful parents always felt like a 1% in the world cohort. I never thought I'd find anyone I'd share these experiences with. Thank you for creating this community and sharing these experiences that are so difficult to untangle!
Having ADHD is quite enough i suppose, anxiety disorder will easily follow due to lack of knowledge and coping mechanisms, also there is a high chance of our family members having ADHD so neglect is also probable, I once heard a story from my grandma when my mother accidentally forgot where she left me, and was searching for the baby who had not yet learned to walk, they used to laugh it off as a joke. I don't think it's such a rare combo. That's how it worked out in my case anyway.
From the bottom of my heart, a big thank you to you! I am so much younger than you, and I consider myself to be so lucky to have found you on RU-vid! I cannot even begin to describe the impact you have on my life ☺😃thank you big sis!
Best of luck through your journey self discovery in life my fellow hoomann!! All the best wishes and never be too hard on yourself. Just remember your life has just started and one setback gives you no right to give up on anything at all ❤
I'm exactly on the same boat. I'm turning 19 and haven't really 'woken up' till recently, the beginning of this year. I cannot express through the letters and spaces on this screen how much I look up to this lady, and how lucky I am to have all of this knowledge on basic life stuff I've been missing out on. ------- I relate so much to you Liz and I wish you the best in every aspect of growth you decide to take on. MUAH!
The part you talked about at the end, when you've been in an anxiety state for two weeks, and you go out on a walk with a friend, and you hate that that makes you feel better. I just wanted to say, I feel this on such a deep level. I am so glad to have found your channel because it has made me feel so much less alone in my feelings.
Perpetually astonished with your immaculate grasp of metaphysics-both abstract theoretical conceptualizations, and material self-introspective applications-with which you distill the wealth of wisdom in any area you’re conveying seemingly effortlessly. First time ever actually commenting on a video, but I just watched your Second Brain video and was thoroughly inspired! Keep up the great work; the videos you’re producing are impeccable resources!
I nonchalantly asked myself, "what do I need?" Right after you mentioned it. I simultaneously felt this deep sinking feeling and also incredible relief and burst into tears for like 5 full minutes😂🤦🏻♀️. I can't remember when I was last (if EVER) asked that, and I don't think I ever realized I could ask myself. You just changed my life with that simple question. There was a tsunami of replies waiting behind it, and it's good it found a way to get through.
As someone with the good person ocd (the one where you obsess over being a bad person), I do so much of these. Like, I literally remind myself that if I lose anxiety about being a bad person then I will become a bad person if I'm not one. Like, people telling me that I'm obviously not a bad person because I care and I am worried about it is a pretty obvious way to encourage stress and worry. Even when I get confident or I start to be like, "whatever, everyone is good and bad and we're all just people", I almost IMMEDIATELY start freaking out because I'm afraid that it means I don't care about people and I am obviously a bad person underneath. It's funny because my compulsions tend to look extremely anxiety inducing (because they are), but they are relieving the deeper more rooted anxiety. So sure, me freaking out about being a bad person and going down spirals may look counter productive (and they are), but they just make me feel like maybe at least I care enough to beat myself up, so maybe I'm not truly a secret awful monster. I have kind of gone on a tiny rant/over explaining things, but yeah, there were a lot of things in the first 7 minutes that made me think of that.
thank you so, so much for sharing your experience. ❤️ i actually teared up, reading your comment, because for the longest time I've had the same exact train of thoughts, down to a t. and it feels so isolating and exhausting...
If you are struggling with OCD, then I Highly recommend watching Ali Greymond on RU-vid. She has helped countless ppl over 15 yrs who has ocd. She makes videos daily where she educated about ocd and how to deal with them. She has personally helped me a lot. And I am positive that she will help you guys too!
You're so smart, you have no idea how much you're helping me navigate mental turmoil. Never thought of anxiety in such a way that it is actually habitual because that'st he only way I've found to get myself to do things! Oh my gosh, so eye opening. I've been struggling with getting things done for a few years now as I've noticed I haven't got a way to get myself to do things without making myself feel like crap. Will check out the recommended book! thank you so much 🙏
Yes. Childhood trauma can absolutely cause alot of issues later in life. But I just want to point out that almost everything that you describe are classical symtptoms of ADHD, and I relate to your videos so hard. I spent my whole life trying to analyse and scrutinize my childhood - because something HAD to have been deeply traumatic for me to feel/function like this now in my adult life, right? WRONG. I got my adhd diagnosis at age 35. I am on meds now, and sure, they don't transform me, or take away how i function or change my personality. I still have the brain that I have, and I need to work WITH it, not against it (I keep learning how to do this through your content, thank you!). But anxiety went from 100/100 to about 10-20/100 with meds. Sleep and eating patterns are so much better now. I can study better, I am more aware of my surroundings, and I am not CONSTANTLY burnt out form just living my normal, pretty uneventful life.
This might not sound ground breaking advice esp for the self help gurus out there. What sets Elizabeth apart is that she talks about her struggle. The fact that you don't show us this perfect version of yourself and give out advice is SO refreshing. Thank you Elizabeth for this
I remember this one day when i had a very peaceful morning, the usual worries were not there, i talked to my parents and laughed with them for a while, the sky was all cloudy and I love that, nothing was wrong at all. Then in the afternoon I went to work and when i got there i started to feel really angry and sad at the same time, I didn't know why, I thought "it was such a perfect morning for me, why am I feeling this way?" Than I opened my notes, where I write it down important this that I want to do: I was practicing my writing back in the day and turns out I didn't do it that day. The moment I saw that all my anger went away incredible quickly. I had just realized that I broke a promise to myself, but in that moment I forgave myself. Sometimes we forget to take care of the one who matters most.
I have never made the connection between my rising baseline anxiety and neglecting my needs. Thank you so much for this insight! This really made a difference!
...as an introvert myself (close to Asperger) i can only attest that what you doing here is a very important job! you have every right to be proud of you!
Being an introvert is not the same thing as being on the Autism spectrum. Also the term "Aspergers" is no longer used for many reasons, mainly that Autism is a spectrum so it doesn't make sense to categorize it that way, also the name comes from a N4z!.
I have no idea if you'd read this message, but I'm so grateful for you. Your content is soo relatable, when you describe yourself and your struggles and your thinking style- is literally me! Thank you so much for all that you do!
As a second-year medical student, I completely relate to you on such a deep level haha. Apart from healthier daily implemented practices such as meditation, mindfulness, and journaling to process thoughts and feelings, one of the most surprising factors that helped me with my anxiety to a significant degree was actually magnesium supplementation. Though I am still a novice with the current landscape of medical literature, there seems to be a growing medical interest aimed at exploring the brain-gut axis, namely the effect that diet plays in cognitive conditions like depression, anxiety, etc. From what I understand, magnesium levels are especially depleted during episodes of sympathetic activity, hence why repeated stressful events tend to exacerbate both anxiety driven thoughts and feelings. Obviously, consultation with one's own primary care physician is advised, but certain supplementations like Magnesium might just help with quelling to a significant extent the effects of anxiety symptoms on the day to day.
❤ U r very lucky u hv deep sense of awareness of your conditions and get the therapy and help needed at a young age! It took me many years to get through self doubts and anxiety attacks due to childhood upbringing style and our school system using “corporal punishment” in discipline children at school. Watching your sharing reflections and where you’re now…. Brings happiness and confidence in me too 🙏🏻. Thank you.
I am amazed at how this exactly captures what I have been doing since my early teens. Now being in my early twenties I notice my energy running out and finding my anxiety does not make me better. I have been forcing those EXACT things increasinv my own anziety. I have rarely felt more seen in any video thank you. You are an inspiration
I related so hard to the part about using anxiety to motivate yourself and then realizing that it's completely unnecessary and counterproductive. It's just a straight shot to burnout.
Seriously. You are such a gift to us. Thank you for your vulnerability, your wisdom, your creativity and your willingness to generously share yourself. I shared this (and several others) with family so that we can discuss together.
neruodivergent positive content like this is so helpful!!! It's so cool to hear the experiences and mindsets of a successful ADHD woman, and how you describe untangling your brain, in a world that doesn't understand us. This is college course level advice about our brains in a world where the experts are giving us picture books and expecting us to deal with this adult world like everyone else who gets a world that actually understands them.
Can I just say, your videos and recommendations changes my life, honestly, I have never been motivated and I never finished anything I started, you have set me on the right track, I know now how to start setting goals based in my personality and how to motivate myself, thanks for sharing everything ❤❤❤
I will save this video and will re-watch it every year of my twenties. thank you for sharing your perspective on the anxiety 💜 everything resonated so much with me
Elizabeth, As I was listening to you talk about neglect. I thought of myself as a young child not being able to have my own inner life, because I was trying to navigate my mothers moods and demands. And I realized that now I have a hard time understanding where people are coming from, because I default to that little child and put others in the role of my mother. Then I get burned out and resentful toward them. I realized that I have a hard time paying attention to my own needs and navigating the needs of others. What’s really their responsibility, and what is mine? And I get so triggered it’s hard to communicate and process what’s happening in a way that is effective. I feel compassion for the child me that didn’t get to develop a healthy sense of separation and boundaries. I can see how that experience arrested my development. Thanks for putting this out there.
28:32 Don't always rely on ocd thoughts to go about it. Thinking isn't everything. Snap out of it by getting up and changing the environment, and scenery. It could just be shifting your view to another part of the room and looking at it. It's mostly visual. If you clean out your memory on how you accept the surroundings of the new environment( not in a negative way), then it works out better. It's like regular mental exercise. Many people have only one space they use for work or study. Get creative, random and switch places occasionally as a personal challenge to make the system adapt to its surroundings. Be mobile, don't need to take the desk with you. There is also another option if you manage to get yourself to nap for a few minutes. 3rd way: ice-cold drinks. Cool down inflammation and improve cognition.
It's something involving the analytical mind and how it can get trapped in analysing and overanalysing things that it has usually not thought through before, new experiences.
First, thank you for the free SkillShare month - don't know what I'll use it for yet but you certainly make video editing sound like an appealing option! Second, your advice and insight is terrific as ever. I feel perhaps extending the definition of "hygiene" as you have may make it too vague (does "health" not already cover this ground?) but a reminder to consider exercise and social contact as part of overall wellbeing is always welcome. I think your points on children needing to reconcile good and bad sides of their parents, and many adults failing to reconcile good and bad sides of people, are important too. Third, I absolutely thought you were more like 6'3" or something ludicrous. I think it's the long wavy hair that gives the illusion of height! Thanks for this video, and for all the rest - please do keep doing what you do so well 😊
Would love to see a video going into more details about all that "personal hygiene" you do. I some need good ideas and good reasons to keep doing better skin care, exercise and meditation. Your videos are very helpful, thanks.
It's pretty amazing that you have figured all this out and been able to implement it while you're still in your twenties. It took me twice as long to really understand how I was sabotaging myself and l'm still figuring out how to act on what I've learned.
Thanks for sharing. It give me a bit more perspective. I'm at this stage where I don't even care to be happy. I just want to be at peace, enough to be able to function properly. At least I hope to find a way to keep up the appearance of normalcy to avoid another hospitalisation.
I appreciate your bit at the end about how important life circumstances can impact our happiness. I'd like to keep this in mind in the future while approaching change, thank you.
It's been just a few days of me finding this channel.. I don't know if your videos will actually help me deal with my anxiety, but I feel so seen and calm watching your videos.. Thank you Elizabeth ❤️
how is it possible that you just... fixed my relationship issues i had for years now and kept repeating and repeating... and that my therapist could never even get close to solving? just HOW? thank you so SO much!!
As a meditation teacher, I LOVED your explanation of why one might experience background anxiety, and it definitely rang true for my own experience. I had so many great habits with my diet, exercise, and sleep, but the anxiety program running in the background of my mind didn't stop until I implemented a regular meditation practice (10-15 minutes a day). I was able to use those 10-15 minutes to assess and then meet my own needs. Love what you do!
Wonderful video! In terms of thinking someone is “all bad” in a conflict, the more likely childhood explanation IMO is that a parent treated us as “all bad” in a conflict. Simple as that. On talking about feelings in a relationship rather than making accusations, this is right but requires skills like identifying your emotions, and regulating them enough, and also your partner has to respond in a constructive way to talking about emotions; a lot of people reflexively dismiss or invalidate emotions or don’t understand the purpose of talking about emotions, again because their parent dismissed or invalidated their emotions and they found there was no useful purpose in talking about feelings.
You see life in a very silimar way i do but we use diffrent words. Ive been thinking how once a person reaches this point of understanding their own stress and gaining the courage to fight against it, wether it be trauma, regret, guilt, poor decisions ect., we find and create to better make sense of life and our selves.
You are brilliant mate ! I love your shares, your authenticity and vulnerability.....you rock ! keep being your self :) and doing what you love to do..thank you thank you thank you !
Thank you for making this video! The timing could not have been more perfect. I am currently prepping for my qualifying exam (grad school) and the process has brought out so much anxiety in me. Your videos have been such a calming reminder to prioritize personal mental hygiene and so much more. I appreciate you, Elizabeth!
Thank you for another great video :) I think it‘s amazing that you‘re opening up about these things and even going so far as to make informative videos that can help other people in similar situations. I myself was a very anxious person with hella trash self-esteem, so I‘d never seriously talk to anyone about my struggles, thinking that it was only going to be a bother / moodkiller anyway. But to the right people, they will appreciate you opening up. And I think most of us here definitely do. So thank you for being so transparent and open with us Elizabeth! Much love.
The ending has been a mood-killer, a pretty "nice" one, if I may dare. It does reassure me a little, to have it affirmed that you do not, in fact, can do everything about it. It hits right where it needs to, which I'm guessing is the Heart, although it may be the brain, or whatever it is. In either case, I did NOT get annoyed and tired by your voice, and thank YOU for spending your time talking to us, viewers.
Thank you very much for the effort you put into this long and detailed video💗What you said was so in line with me. I am a 5th year medical student and I'm considering getting psychotherapy soon. I have been cruel to myself in both my personal and educational life. I will listen to this video over and over again, you light up my mind 🙏🏻💫
I relate with what you have said so much, it's kinda scary. But thank you, I've gotten a better perspective on what my problem is. Hopefully I'll apply these wonderful pieces of advice you gave. I'm currently in the shut down stage of my life where I'm questioning all my life's decisions and it's worrying that I've realised most of them where my parents and not mine. So now I don't know what to do, I've come too far to change things but I don't want to move forward with these goals either as they give me no happiness or sense of achievement. I'm kinda lost and hanging in there. Would you believe me if I said I've completed my medical degree and was going into medicine post grad but I just have been hung up on it for 1 and half a year, just sitting home, doing nothing. Everyday it's harder to get back into that mindset. You were also right about how much parents affect us. My mom is hyper loving, hyper caring to the point of possessive and my father is full of neglect. Did you know that a high percentage of people who experience depression is because one of their parent have had it and now it's been carried over? It's was nice listening to your video, I did not feel like a was listening to a youtuber but more like a friend was talking to me, with the way you were so careful and compassionate with each point you gave, it felt very personal, so thank you ❤️
didn't come here to talk, about myself, but rather to echo how amazing your advice is. I have a similar background to you, and journaling helped me so much to change my negative anxious mindset! Love your videos xx
I'm never sick of your voice!!!! I love you thank you for sharing these experiences and valuable piece of advices, I've never been able to relate with someone so deeply as much as i do with you. And seeing you gives me hope that I'll get there too, I'll be lot less anxious one day and I'll be able to do things without working myself up for not being perfect. I'm working on it and i know i can do it! Again Thank you so much liz, love ya.
your videos help me very much, because you are very relatable for me and you don't know how thankful I am that you make such content they really help and workout for me, I tear up most of the time because you make my struggles feel seen like no other videos. I just want to say thank you for making such content and I will always support you.
everything you have talked about in this video, is exactly what I have been experiencing lately and I'm so grateful you're talking about this. really needed this video
Elizabeth ! I can relate in many aspects and feel similar to you in that I'm also highly anxious, introverted and have black-and-white thinking. As someone who cannot afford therapy yet, you being vulnerable and sharing your story and what you're learning has been invaluable. Thank you for making these videos!
Today I realised I'm not happy with what I'm doing. I'm on two weeks break with one gone. I have exams early may but reading feels painful, I'm not ready to face the work of my teachers, and I still want to partake in my own hobbies. Your video (and others) help me deconstruct life and settle myself down before I blow up with stress. Thank you for what you do ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Elizabeth: "If you made it this far, you are definitely, absolutely sick of my voice, so please leave.." Me: * proceeds to watch another one of her videos * I am genuinely very grateful to have found your channel and really enjoy hearing your perspective on things, especially productivity and mental health. Even though I can't relate to everything, bc my personality and circumstances obviously differ from yours, it still inspires me a lot and makes me think of my own situation more deeply. Thank you for being such a kind and open minded person and for sharing this content with us 🤍
This is profoundly helpful, Elizabeth, thank you! I've come to a few of these conclusions myself, and it's validating to hear you talk on them, too. Thank you! ❤
I’ve recently realized that I’ve used anxiety as a tool to get me to do things. Years ago I began to understand that I was very unlikely to do a task if I wasn’t motivated to do it. If something didn’t rank high enough on my personal (emotional) scale of importance, I wouldn’t do it. So when I finally HAD to do tasks I wasn’t motivated to do, I would force myself to do them by making them super important in my mind and flooding my system with anxiety so I would actually do the thing. This was how I finished high school- by stressing myself out over due dates so I would actually do my work. But now I don’t know how to get things done without driving myself with anxiety, and I realized recently that I’ve been living with some form of anxiety for way too long. And I don’t even have anxiety! It is entirely self-imposed, because when I get my thoughts in order it goes away entirely. I just have to figure out how to motivate myself without it.
Personally for me i hate the feeling of anxiety more then i love life. A video telling how to determine what i need would be helpful. It sounds stupid that i don't know but i simply have no idea what in life i am denying myself.
This popped up in my recommendations lol, I definitely can relate to all of this, I did grow up in a high expectations type of enviornment where things had to be good and perfect, and it made me develop anxiety from it. Decided to make a sub, nice to meet you!
Hi Elizabeth! I just want you to know your content means so much to me, and I really appreciate you pouring your heart and brain into videos like this one!! Thank you for being you!!
I am proud of you for pursuing and progressing in your personal well being. It took me way too long. I might be what Tasha Erich labels a unicorn - moving from no self awareness to much much more. 20 years plus of therapy and things finally clicked but are by no means finished.
A breath of fresh air! This is the second video that I'm watching in sequence. I must say that I'm extremely impressed! Elizabeth, is sharing invaluable information and some more of her experience that really works! Theory has its role but personal experience is compelling! I like her videos which are very unique. They arm with the individual with the tools they may need to resolve their personal conflicts. Also, she gives reference to the persona who have conducted the scientific work that may have proven or disapproved a concept. Lovely! I must subscribe! Note: I think that she's quite beautiful and intelligent. However, she's obviously not a woman who believes that she deserves or has earned anything because of her beauty and intelligence. Instead of being or porporting to be a victim she's has embraced whatever her situation may have been as her responsibility to resolve! I can truly love a woman like that. (Not saying that I love her, a person whom I have never seen!)
Another brilliantly helpful video about navigating anxiety! You teach me so much. Very grateful thank you Elizabeth. Side note: because of our history and awareness around not being nurtured it is all too easy to fall in to the trap of over compensating with our own kids (when/if we have are fortunate enough to have them). Yes, self care feels impossible when we have mini humans to love and care for but it's necessary otherwise we fall in to the good/bad parent dichotomy x
