You know what is the best part of this... god has set you free!!!!!! You couldnt do it for yourself so god steps in. 🙏 please dont be sad because you have a lot to be happy about.... you are free
I agree with you, its a very terrifying and traumatic experience. I was discarded 7 months ago after 14 years of abusive relationship. I only learned about narcisstic relationship after I was discarded. That was the only time I was able to analyze what happened to me.
When my narcissistic ex-husband filed for divorce I said thank you. Blew his mind! He used my last deposited paycheck for his lawyer retainer fee. I had a 5 month old baby and no money until my next paycheck. Meanwhile, he gets contact lenses and new clothes and hair perm! Refuses to pay child support! Luckily. I had a great judge and he allowed me to return to my home state 1200 miles away. The ex never paid child support, EVER! Through the courts he signed away his parental rights.... best thing that happened to me. The grief was not worth the $75 dollars/month. I later bought my own home, sent my child to private schools, college, etc. On the days that I have flashbacks I try to remember what I have accomplished. LIFES GOOD.
Avoidants often leave without any signs. Narc's often devalue you until you can barely function...the set up makes you feel bad like you've messed up the relationship not them. It gives them reason to do the discard without any personal responsibility.
They'll also discard you once you're on to them. Once you've challenged them, don't back down, refuse to be gaslit, or heaven forbid you identify their narcissism, you will be discarded. At BEST they'll still seek next supply.
Best revenge is let him go without a struggle, no contact is best. It gets better and you can see clearer who he is. Your actions speak louder than words, Good Riddance
just please make sure you are not the one making them hate him, you will only make your children grow with trauma if you make them hate their father, despite how bad he was, don´t do it. let them grow healthy and not in a hatefull way. I know you hate him but please, look after your children.
otherwise your children will grow to be narcissist as well. I know this because it´s the same thing that happened to my narcissist ex, she had a mother that made her hate their father.
And all of these......he even "leaves" 3 weeks at a time in the same house. Doesn't speak to me or my son, goes out to eat by himself quite often.....hell, he hasn't even let me see the tax returns for the past 5 years! Started doing them online, signs my mame electronically, and has excuse after excuse as to why he just "went ahead and did them". Truth is, he's a chronic pathological liar of the most malignant I have ever encountered in my life! 30 years married to this mess. And yes, they do live double lives and no, it does NOT get better. As matter of fact, it worsens each hour of every day as they age. Thanks Danish ❤
Be careful with the Taxes.He may already be digging both of you into a deep financial and legal hole.If you can find a way to let him do that to himself alone. We need to allow these narcs to self destruct.
the aging narcissist is a whole new topic. they loose their charme more and more and also their ability to hide their true self. please be careful with the money, they like to spend it and do not care for your or your children's financial future!
They treat you so badly in the end you have no choice but to leave. If neglect and withdrawal of affection doesn't work they'll blantantly cheat in front you until you fear for your own sanity. Then they'll play the victim because technically you left them. They all have the same brain wiring and the same demonic heart. Who, or what, tries to destroy the person who loved and cared for them?
To whoever this is happening i say ..Thank GOD that your about to get rid of these demons that want to destroy yur life..& i pray FATHER GOD to give you all the help...& healing you need...
Back in Jan she had told her family I shoved her and knocked her to the ground (which was a lie). Luckily her SIL asked me about it, and I broke down in tears. She saw my reaction and knew right away it had never happened. Fast forward to March, her new supply must have wanted more time because she filed a PFA on my claiming I shoved her and knocked her down amongst other exaggerations. Note for anyone dating someone who will willfully lie about you laying hands on them, GET OUT, GET OUT NOW. Take it from me, it will only get worse.
I completely agree. It gets so exaggerated. I was touching his knee once to get his attention during his rage and I was accused of getting physical with him. Another time after a few days straight of major gaslighting, I flipped out and started pointing at his chest trying to get a message to his heart and again, accused of jabbing him and being physical. I am the last person to be violent in such a way. They have a strange way of interpreting what happened. I was also accused of getting him fired because it happened to be the same day I harshly had to kick him out because I had enough. No way do I have an evil plotting mind to get him fired like that. That was Divine doing. Stay in your truth everyone going through this mess!
So HAPPY you rid of that narc = demon...& NEVER call him ...your narc ...he belongs to hell where he Will go for sure ..but without you & Never take him back...
Thank you Danish! You describe them so perfectly "monsters" and "demonic"! It's like hell created a portal and dumped all of these soul-less people on earth. How else can anyone explain why all these people share the exact same traits!
If they leave on their own, it is a blessing. Don't despair. For me, he can go as fast as he can. I lived alone before, and I can live again. It's better without the narcissist. I don't need a coward. He's only digging his grave slowly. Karma is an inch behind him. I will say good luck to him. He'll end up with a nasty woman.
All 6 of these are exactly what happened to me, divorce finalized a couple weeks ago. The only difference is that his new supply wasn’t a person, it’s a new lifestyle in a new state that he wanted (which will eventually lead to this magical person he thinks he’s going to find). Took off and didn’t fight me for custody or anything w the kids (thank god)
It happened to me over 20 years ago. It still hurts, but that physical grief pain has gone. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her, though.
I’m living through this right now and it’s hell. She was diagnosed with BPD, but she has A LOT of narcissistic traits too, I know there’s a lot of overlap. All of this has happened exactly, I was feeling like the crazy person for the longest time. But I see her now for who she is, and I’m just angry
I moved in with the narcissist. Of course he was telling me that I was everything he ever wanted and we were going to get married and live happily ever after. But he never gave me to key to the bolt. I didn't think anything of it at the time. A few years later he discarded me and put my stuff out and brought in the new supply, and he bolted the door. That means that he knew from DAY ONE, even when he was saying we were going to get married and live happily ever after, that he planned to someday bolt the door against me.
Before I got discarded, there was zero effort to meet,to talk, they didn't return any of my calls, and responded to my texts after 6 million years .I decided to confront the nonsense and I was met with a very cold attempt at a reverse discard.I wqs stonewalled but I didnt cave .I demanded real answers that made sense.This led to a terrible discard😂😂 that left me so confused.If I watch two more of Danish's videos il be so cold no amount of hoovering will get me back into that black whole😂😂.One thing for sure is I will never reverse hoover myself.Never.
Yes, however, they sure make sure they are present and accounted for when they know there will be an audience or something taking place for their kuds or grandkids just to get the fuel from people thinking they are such a great, supportive dad/papaw. It's all as fake as they are.
It's only as long as they're making money for someone else. Otherwise, the shine wears off sooner or later with such people. Be glad you can work on a peaceful life without them now. It isn't possible with them. ❤
My husband did all this to me and left without a word after 26 years to move in with his new supply. I felt so devastated especially the last months when he begun to »allow« me topics to talk about. Suddenly his job was the only thing I was allowed to talk about (which was impossible, because it was HIS job not mine). Surprise - he cheated with a co-worker. Exactly like Danish said, he mirrored the new relationship. This is so eye-opening and relieving, because now I know, it was never my fault and he was about to destroy the relationship anyways no matter what. Thank you, Danish for saving my sanity!
All of these but very very subtle. You think just a period of aggravation. I didn't realize what was happening. I do remember telling him I felt disrespected and didn't feel "safe" with him anymore. He quickly said nobody better never hurt you. I may be an old man (78) but nobody better ever hurt you! I told him not that kind of safe-the kind of safe that in your gut. This is all so surreal. He had ended affair 2 yrs earlier. Now I wonder since he had experienced "separation" from me, he had a taste of someone else. I believe now he initiated a reverse discard. Why do I keep loving him.? I think I miss what we had and experience more than him, as such. I think I am ok, then the least little thing brings all those 30 years back up. It was a good 30 years as far as I knew. Now I question everything, every word, every gentle intimate moment.
@michealsilvey1124 Thank you, Michael. I go from loving him for what we shared to dickens with him-it is not worth it. But, just can't stay in the "no care" mode. If they are aware as some therapist say, shame on them for pulling me into their world.
I have thse all 6 signs I my narcissistic abusive relationship......what to do....I my discard stage....it's like a hell.....with a child ...it's worse than ever
Get out quietly while you can. Block, delete, come off social media, change your phone number. Give him no hint. Just leave quietly. A refuge. Anywhere.
What do you do when they discard you but when their new supply-victim decides they don’t want them and the covert narcissist’s thinks they can stay a never leave imprisoning more. I can leave after 46 yrs of this even when I try to leave they follow and use the children to stay. The nice guy syndrome but behind it all is covert narcissist 😢 he will take all I worked for all my life and I will be homeless with a broken body. While he steals all of my life. ???? HELP
All these have been done to me all i want is to not pass my children all these awful things because he is the most manipulative person thank you Danish God bless you Greetings from Greece 😊
My religious narc lost his everloving mind & had to be placed in a sheriff's car. That was nearly 18 months ago. He dumped me for a prison cell and I've never been happier. It's challenging but i pray he never gets near me. ❤
Another topic and more memories. I had a friend like this in high school, I thought he was him. After 5 years of friendship, he invited a new friend into our circle and before I knew it, I was no longer welcome in their company. It was very surprising, but at least he got himself out of my life before I saw through him...
My situation is a little different. My narcissist refuses to discard me, even though he has kicked me out many times and I still demand a divorce. He won't let me go and he uses the pets (our children) to make me come back. It's so frustrating. I don't blame myself for anything. It literally is all him, with all the arguments, problems, shame, and abuse he has caused. Everyone he knows thinks he's the greatest, but they don't get that stare of pure evil. They don't have to call the police to make him stop hitting them. They don't have to feel like a slave every moment of every day
@@Mandaslefthandedcrochet Thank you for your kindness. Unfortunately the place I'm going to run to is only across the street. There's a whole other level of stress involved in that alone
What? It's the first time i see you without glasses and you look amazing!!! Yes, they are thieves and my ex was a gypsy for real. But look how beautiful my daughter is! He stole everything from me 😂 OMG you lost weight too and you look great, Danish! ❤❤❤
Right now I’m watching two narcissist do this. one wants to get rid of the other one and the other wants to keep the other one. it’s crazy watching these two at work.
All signs. 15 years. And I kept going back after they victimized themselves. I would believe them ,when alone and give them another chance that maybe it was really me. But I'm very sure this final time. I have listening to you for a year now. And was in separation, and filed divorce, but was again convinces to give them a final chance as my kid was involved. But he has been acting the same with her too and it is affecting her mental health the same way it affected mine. So this was his last chance. But honestly I love listening to you, you are so right about them in all your videos.
Thank you Danish. ❤ You nailed it. Sadly alllllllll of these signs happened and after 32 plus years of marriage...💔😭... and you give me strength and knowledge... truly was a subtle slow fade, denial on my part.... it is surreal snd hurtful... deeplain and anguish. Please pray my 25 yo daughter sees the loght as her deceitful dad has/is tryimg his lies on her against me. Disgusting and demonic
Mine was the reverse discard he was treating me like Garbage I was seriously ill and pdsd it was him or me I Would not have made it physically if I had of stayed nasty cruel and heartless I am out years but my physical health will never recover I never knew about narrissists until the endi had to goggle his behaviour he even brought his phone to the bathroom he is saying I finished it which is true but he left out the part how abusive he was thank you Danish 💚
When a narcissist discards us before getting to know us well while we are already being on the run from one that can only be fun when maintaining our boundaries well instead of sucumbing to peer pressure.
I now realize that I became pretty narcissistic because I thought that's how you're supposed to show love and earn respect. It's how love was shown to me by most of the people in my family. It always felt horrible and I would feel like such a jerk after I would give someone a backhanded compliment. I would immediately feel like a monster. But I couldn't stop myself. I'm still ashamed and I still think about every person I have hurt, but I just try to be better and examine my motivations for everything. If they're selfish motivations, I try to reorient to other people and block out thoughts of myself. I try to be mindful and do what little me would have needed. I hope that isn't narcissistic in and of itself lol
I’ve had them all first with my son‘s father then with my current husband last year, my son‘s birthday was yesterday he wants nothing to do with me now that he’s married. His dad and family did his wedding without me and my sister… but of course my ex said it was a mistake. Oh well, of course you’re forgiven because you think your God.
He appeared a monster with great and red eyes and a different kind of rage that I never seen before, creating discussing and shouting and open the window and doors and later i understood: for the neighbors would think that I was discussing with him. And in that day I arrived at home and he begun to discuss and I said: " I´m tired. Just let me take my coffee". He was transformed and when he was near about certain people, he made a theather scene or a show. And in other places, specially that he talk lies about me, he feels safe to disrespect me. To the others, im crazy and ill.
This is our 3rd time and the LAST time trying. I have 1 to 2 weeks left and I am GONE. NEVER to go back. God provided me a way of escape and I can not wait to take it.
How does the discard look in the rear view mirror? Looks fantastic! All your trouble and conflict is gone. Poof! Do not get hoovered back!! All sales final, no returns!
It’s unbelievable for me that how you to exactly know all the facts and true details of each leaf of narcissism super right about every sentence and words I’m following for months now. Thank you🙏😊
Sounds like my ex. He just left with no warning ⚠️. I just thank God for stepping in a releasing that strong hold. I am so so happy in this season of my life. It's not worth it. Trust God
Thank you, that's exactly what happened to me, at the time could not make sense of what was happening, was blaming myself that I am not strong enough to safe the family, was so drained in the end, really affected my health. He really tried to make me cut it from my end, but wanted to make it work so much for the sake of the kids, he moved out of the house saying he needs to fix himself for the family. And I believed... learned 3 months later that he was spending all the time with his new girlfriend. Somehow he still managed to twist the whole story and make me responsible for him cheating. Amazing that his lies were more convincing then my truth, 6 years later I still have nightmares being in a relationship with him
It is complicated discard or plan to hurt me but it was stoped with help coming there are no words to describe what was happening in my mind and the way i was there but i wasnt reacting
I gave my narcissistic a warning that I'm giving him 3 months to do something about the state of our relationship, or I'm leaving him, and so he's started the process of discard. Picked up a new friend group, invested all his time and money in the things they like to do. Even gave a car to one of them, (and boy has it backfired deliciously, the guy has made no payments on the car, and now he's in jail) a guy he barely knows. I barely see him anymore, and he even chose to stay home and play games all day rather than spend any amount of time with me on my birthday. Sounds like we're both done😂 and I couldn't be more relieved!
If you give 'em a deadline, they just use it as a period of guaranteed supply from you during which to make all the preparations to abandon you and take up with their next victim, rather than making any effort to actually do what the deadline was for. In some cases they'll manipulate you into setting the deadline (one of my narcissistic exes explicitly asked for one, then claimed later that she'd never actually wanted me to follow through with it) not only to get themselves a nice comfy guaranteed transitional period to secure new supply, but also so they can pretend it's all your fault the relationship ended when they "fail" to meet the deadline by not even really trying.
Caring for the narcissist parent of 2 19yrolds, couldn’t deal with her any more pushed her into dismissing me! It was coming anyway… classic behavior because all her tricks stopped working.
This all signs are happening to me bow by my 82 year old father. He discarded me and my sister only to have stay in relationship with his half of age cook/maid. It’s so so hard and painful for us as he is the only parent after my empath mother died at young age because of him.
I have experienced all this. Really they are nuts. The best way to deal with them is just ignore them period. Make your own life. Don't talk much. Trust me . I work and too tired to talk. I just cannot be bothered.
I have seen this first hand...it's spooky; Re; Dress, not only new language but, mimicry of another outward on target Example; They hear how someone else calls your name. The next day their using the exact nick name etc that they heard from that person making themselves sound as IF there our best buddies..whoa no on the contrary Run away, avoid, discard first 🎉
In one way, he asking me how I feel, never did before and otherside he change some words in texting. I asking from where he got the typing style, answering, I cant remember.. my englisch is not well, i am german, a big hello from Berlin Mister Danish
"I am what I am. I know of no others like me; though why should I be the only one? Perhaps there are others, many others: I simply don't know of them yet. So I live and die and live again, and learn nothing-" the word was bitterly pronounced, "-of myself. Understand? You know what you are because you see others like you. If you were alone on earth, what would you know? What the mirror told you, that's all. The rest would be myth and conjecture." - Clive Barker, Human Remains
I discarded him and he doesn't even know it! My brother, who has a disabled daughter let me care for her, questioned me and enabled her. Now that I'm really ill- a heart condition, he's playing the victim! Now that I'm no good to him I'm no longer welcome at his place, but he's the victim? Give me a break! I told his sons what's going on and how he has treated me. I haven't spoken to them only texts, so I don't know what's going through their minds. Smdh
I don't understand why there's so many people with NPD. How did this happen? I'm guessing it's about 1 in 5 people who have this disorder. Danish, could you please make a video on this topic.
In the beginning of the situationship....we use to have sex all day everyday. I worked 3rd shift i go right over to the apt. Then 4mos in he said you dont have to come over so much. He was cheating on me the whole time. He was trying to keep all of us in rotation. 😢
danishcan you do a video about narcissism and studying. i started losing the focus on studies and procastinate because of narcissist mental abuse from my family members 😖😓😢😤😑😐
I delt with all that and she even moved to a different house and said I’m done with you now and your not allowed to come to my new house and you can see your kids at your moms house and I was like 🤦♂️ I thought we been getting along good and things were changing lol but I was wrong
Hello sir I resonate with almost all of your videos. I felt thing deeply that you tell in your content. One thing i want to what if he starts taking drugs so that he can leave me as he told me this thing. I am pretty much affected by him coz he starts taking drugs.
i went through all of this and now I´m at point 6 well I´m there since 5 month and we are still together yet I saw him in those past 6 months 1 time and I can assume he is cheating on me
Now I finally got away I'm seeing what you are saying but when you're in it you really can't see it. But yes the X was discarding me for years and I was very sick and needed the help from the spouse and got none . X was really mean and evil for years and I was heavily medicated and didn't know what was going on. I was "caged" to say the least, the X was getting new clothes for self when I needed clothes. I needed doctors the X denied me and myself and children suffered horribly.
11:42 Is the final discard a sacrifice? Like being the scapegoat en mass? They will be cleansed and they will definitely benefit from discarding you! Here's the rub... You will greatly benefit as well🎉
