5 Signs You Might Be Agender 

I just kinda feel neutral. As in I don’t care if you call me a man or woman, boy or girl, or other. I have never really felt connected to any genders. I am just me.

Thank you for this video! I'm genderless, but I think it's close enough to being agender. The difference for me is that agender feels, personally, too much like a gender identity, when I don't have a gender. Two signs I had that I can easily share: 1. Being confused by what gender is, despite knowing it exists and respecting it. 2. Being ok with the sex (though not the gender) I was assigned at birth, while being ok thinking what if I had been assigned another sex at birth (specifically sex, because I do not have a gender. The fact that I've been assigned a gender does bother me).

I just feel like gender is a big amount of stereotypes. Like, if we won’t have all those gender stereotypes, where is the difference between people, excluding their body? (Sorry if I wrote something wrong, my English isn’t very good)

Finding out I was Agender was rather tricky on my end! I am a "I completely lack gender" / gender-apathetic Agender person, with extremely little dysphoria. For the longest time, I thought I was just a "chill cis girl," as I didn't mind what gender I was called by. I had questioned it before, but seeing as no other gender identity applied to me, I kind of just gave up on it for a while (I forgot to take *lack* of gender into account when I was first questioning lol.) Finally, when I was like 20, I had a lightbulb moment. I looked at all of my friends that I had made, cis and trans alike, and I just went, "Wait, they... actually _care_ don't they? Putting on makeup _actually_ makes her feel girlier. He _actually_ feels manlier after a good workout or a cool haircut. They mean it. They aren't exaggerating for comedy. That stuff actually _does things_ for them identity-wise." From there, I pretty quickly realized that gender was not something I have ever experienced lol. As I mentioned earlier, I also have extremely little dysphoria. I was mildly uncomfortable with my voice until I had a small voice drop at 24, I'm a bit put off by the fact I'm short, and I have some complicated feelings around menstruation, but nothing overt or obvious lol. I feel like I could wake up tomorrow with everything the same except for suddenly being male, and other than a freak-out over _how_ that could have happened, my life would continue as normal. Slight wardrobe adjustment, change my hygiene rituals a bit, and I'm good to go. My body is only a body; it has nothing to do with my identity. I find myself most comfortable in gender-neutral language, but I'm not fussy about other, gendered terms being used for me. Aaaand that's that! I thought I would share how I experience life as an Agender person and how I discovered it, in the event that this could be helpful to someone else. 💚

Thanks so much for this! I just recently started questioning my gender for about the tenth time and this video really helped! 💚

thank you for this video! It took me a while to figure out that I'm agender because I never felt a strong dislike of my assigned gender, but rather a disconnect to gender in general (and so for example my nb friends' description of their experience didn't match mine, since they still described experiencing a gender, just not one within the binary). My assigned gender never bothered me because it makes sense to me that people would see me that way, based on how I dress, the length of my hair, my body shape etc. But if people who understand what agender means address me in a gender-neutral way after I tell them that I am agender, that definitely makes me happy. I'm just writing this to reassure others who might not experience dysphoria or a strong dislike of their assigned gender, but still feel drawn to the label agender, or the idea of having no gender, to consider that it might be an option for them.

I am no longer questioning my gender (I have come to realize I am FtM trans), but I'm sure you helped and will continue to help a lot of people out by making this video, so here's a comment to boost it! Thank you for doing everything you do and I hope you're settling into your new home 🧡

I have just given up and let people refer to me however they'd like. I present female hard, and I don't have attachment or hate for any of the pronouns. I've legit just been saying I'm a sparkly fart in a meat suit. Because I just ...don't want to be attached to a body anymore. If that makes sense. I'm me. That's all I got. So I'm probably agender, I just can't drive myself crazy with labels and stuff anymore. The less I focus on it, the better I feel. X.x

i am not anything specific, i am merely a person who is vibing in the world. call me a man, call me a woman, call me something else, i don’t care. i’ve never been happier

The timing of this video is amazing as just recently questioning whether I fit under the agender label more. Thank you for the work you put into your videos

Thanks for this! I've been questioning my gender lately, and I always love seeing agender content and getting to learn more.

I recently started identifying as agender. I literally don’t care. Womanhood means nothing to me. I think I feel like a woman in a sociopolitical sense. Like, I know I move through the world as a woman, and when people talk about women, whether I want them to be or not, they’re talk about me. Especially since I move through the world as a woman and am married to a man. Gets even more nuanced because I’m Black. But as for me??? I could care less. Im just a person.

I have been experimenting with my gender expression for a while now, and in doing so, I've come to realize, I don't want to be perceived as any gender. I don't want to be shoved into an arbitrary box that I can perform (at least male and enby for sure), but isn't really me on the inside. I think whatever attachment to masculinity I have is due to the fact that I was raised as one, but not because any part of me is male. I am simply me. There's no particular gender attached to that. Thank you for making this video, Lynn. Also it's good to have you back!

I experience myself as brain in meatsuit. I would prefer it but most people are uncomfortable with calling me that. So they/them is fine. Does that count as agender?

WOW! Thank you again for this!

Thanks for another informative video! *Just a reminder to all the lovely folks out there... It's important to learn what we can about people in "a different part of the rainbow" from ourselves, so we can advocate for each other! That's why I'm here. Blessings, y'all! 🙏❤🏳‍🌈🏳‍⚧

Made this video at the perfect time thank you so much😭

I'm agender and really don't give any fucks about my pronouns 🤷, not the best indicator I think. What made it obvious for me was that I've never understood the need for why both cis and trans binary identifying people feel they need to present/act a certain way to be seen as a cis woman, or a trans man etc. never made sense to me as to why that stuff was so important

Thank you for your videos you were a big help for my to figure out that i'm aroace and agender. Hope you get the 50.000 subscribers soon

This helped me a lot. Thank you 💚

I think another a big one relating to pronouns is an indifference towards which pronouns people use for you.

Very informative video! Thank you for the great content you create. I'm still pretty sure I'm genderfluid, but it's nice to be more knowledgeable about what it means to be agender.

Tack så mycket! Mycket lärorik video!

I think I’ve been Agender all my life lol. Thank you for this information. Subscribed 💙

Not gonna lie… that last one made me think and now idk if I’m genderqueer or agender anymore 😅 I’ve been thinking about being agender instead of genderqueer for a while but I still don’t know. Could you make a genderqueer video and or a genderqueer vs agender video 😁 I’m a new fan and am really in joying all your videos as someone on the aroace spec and questioning my gender identity 😁

Oh, I need it so, thanks

I am agender!! I use a few other labels as well, but simply put I am agender :) Very good video btw! How I feel about gender is kinda like it's a... like a roleplay of sorts. It's not who I really am, but sometimes is fun to play the role! But it's not me, and I do sometimes wish people would see me for ME, not a gender, becuase gender feels like something that is fake... if that makes sense aha. I still use she/her and feminine terms (alongside neopronouns) becuase it doesn't bother me. I don't really feel any attachment to pronouns at all, besides the way they sound. I use she/her becuase it's familiar to me. I use ey/em becuase they sound cool. As for the other terms I use- I like to use xenogenders becuase I feel more attached to things, like the color blue for example, waaaayy more than "gender". When presenting myself I think more about things I like- the color blue, cats, stars- more than "is this feminine" or whatever. I'm also lazy + have sensory problems, and normally just wear a cotton tshirt and pants anyways.

I feel all of those very much- Been questioning my gender for some time now, wondering if the label agender might fit and I think it does^^ Guess I really am a triple-A battery now (aroace and agender)

Really hope you get to 50,000 you are someone i wonld love to meet you are one of my hero's love your channel

YAAAAAY 😭💛

Omg I relate to AceDadAdvice's story so much!

I’m still questioning but to me gender just feels like an act or a game that everyone puts on for no reason. I also resent it when people try to cast me into a stereotype, or tell me what I like and how I am and all that. I don’t care what pronouns people use for me, I prefer to look neutral or androgynous, and I don’t get why everyone cares so much. That’s what makes me think I could be agender. Currently trying out the label.

The last two I could identify with. But I identify more as a demigirl, which is in between agender and woman. So it's nice to learn a little more about anything sort of related.

I feel like this seriously helped me in reaffirming my gender identity, but I noticed I also strongly identify with masculinity (to a degree). Normally this wouldn't be confusing if I didn't also just as if not more strongly identify and associate with agenderism. To add on, I am amab so it can be hard to tell if what I experience when I feel euphoria when looking, dressing, and being interacted with in a masculine manner is because of socialization of gender roles or something more outside of gender

thank you!

Regarding pronouns I don't use any, since I'm agender. I prefer just being referred by my name

Your never too old, to explore this topic, myself im a biological male, but I identify simply as A-sexual, I still have a beard. And present as a male,..but in my dreams I present as a female, crazy huh...but ya I'm not gay, or trans, just a feminine soul in a male body, (I also have 2 kids),... but ya I thought maybe I was gay when I was younger cause I thought that was the only option, either strait or gay, basically...but now finally society understands its way more complex and is more excepting and today I am completely comfortable with myself when tho as a teen is was really confused....I dunno, that's my story

Hi, for those who are questioning their gender identity, one thing that helped me a lot is focusing on who I am, I mean, it's kind of like self love, but in a way you get to know WHO you really are, EVERYTHING that makes part of you, and not what you're supposed to be according to society or others. It's super important to identify if you have changed something about yourself to "fit in", identify WHY did you do it, what did you think you were different about from the rest?. I mean, this is not just for gender identity, but for sexual orientation too. This helps you find the true you, most of all when society teach you that how you fell is "normal" and it can be "fixed". Feelling different can tell you a lot about who you are.

I would say 2 or 3 of these signs almost match me Perfectly. I also want to say about thr Pronouns situation. Sometimes I feel OKAY using she her or he him, but most rather go by neutral pronouns and terms. The 5th one, talking about attributes and how you address yourself, I wish to be addressed as a person rather than gendered term. This whole Gender thing is very confusing to me right now, and this video helped quite a bit. Thank you for posting this. There are some parts of me that think having a Gender is right, but feeling neutral or no Gender most days also feels right. I just don't like being put in a male or female spectrum.

Hey, I'm really loving your videos :) Could you do one on maybe being Gender-fae? I think this label fits my gender, but I'm not sure if I'm experiencing gender-fluidity, non-binary identity, or am in denial that I'm a woman... even though just typing that out feels so wrong :/ I'm so confused, and could really do with some help! Edit: Just wanted to add, the closest I've gotten to any sort of idea of my gender identity is that I feel like, at least 50% of the time, I feel like a feminine person much more than I do a woman. I quite often just want to wear baggy, oversized clothes that hide my figure, but sometimes I want to wear big, pink, fluffy dresses (think Sweet Lolita fashion). I also have this weird experience with my breasts, where sometimes I'm okay with them, but other times I feel like I want to "take them off", like another item of clothing. Like sometimes they fit with certain outfits, sometimes they don't, but generally I'm bleh towards them.

This helped because I have been confused about myself and my gender was all over the place so I just slapped it/its on myself and called it a day lol

I definitely feel agender/genderless but I’m still confused on which pronouns fit me. I usually prefer any pronouns but it just results in me being called my birth gender 😭

In my experience, I struggled with gender dysphoria during high school. I despised anything feminine and began to hate my body, unable to separate sex from gender. I then attempted to pass as a man, simply conforming to stereotypes of appearance and behavior. I knew I would never truly be a man, but I wanted to escape femininity. As I started spending time with men, I found their gender expressions equally distasteful. One day, a schoolmate, aware of my desire to reject femininity, told me that unless I acted a certain way, I wouldn't be considered a man by the group. That's when I realized I didn't need to prove anything to anyone. I rejected all labels, embracing that I am a woman, but I don't need to conform to society's notions of femininity or masculinity. I'm not saying there aren't positive aspects to gender, like strength or compassion, but I don't see them as inherently tied to gender. To me, gender is just a bunch of rubbish used to pigeonhole people. I'll never understand why appearance and wanting to enclose certain things as one or another carry so much weight, why they feel the need to categorize everyone? I am who I am, and that's all. I don't need or want to be pigeonholed. I'm perfectly content with my sex, not the gender assigned to me at birth. I knew that I would never be a man, but I wanted to simply because I despised femininity. Eventually, I realized I didn't need to prove anything to anyone. I rejected all labels, embracing the fact that I am a woman, but I don't need to adhere to society's notions of femininity or masculinity. That's when I understood that I didn't need to conform to society's expectations. I'm not saying there aren't positive aspects to gender, such as strength or compassion, but I don't see them as inherently linked to gender. To me, gender is just a load of garbage used to pigeonhole people. I'll never understand why appearance and expression carry so much weight, why we feel the need to categorize everyone. I am who I am, and that's all. I don't need or want to be pigeonholed. I'm perfectly fine with my sex, not the gender assigned to me at birth. And I don't mind what people call me, as long as they don't use those new pronouns-I'm not a fan. But otherwise, it's fine. It's common for people on the street to refer to me as 'him' or 'her' interchangeably. Some notice, others don't. I don't bother correcting them. Just a haircut was enough for people to perceive me as a man. It just goes to show how superficial the whole gender issue is. Something as trivial as a haircut leads people to believe I'm one thing or another. Although maybe having a gender is useful for dating (? I don't know, I'm aro/ace so I don't see any use in that sense either lol.

Im agender and don’t care what im called. Female or male, he or she, don’t care, But i will also not identify as they or them, but wouldn’t care if someone called me that either. But I think people who go by they or them are more binary than agender. Agender is more neutral and doesn’t go by anything or any gender identity.

One question if i pick the color white or black rather than blue or pink ipad because blue is more boyish and pink is more girlish, does this make me agender? Because sometimes i rather pick different colors that are gender fluid rather than blue or pink or any color close to blue or pink such as rose gold or turquoise blue

I got only 2 I still don't know I need help

i just dont feel like any gender nor do i want to be any gender i cant tell if thats agender

I identify as agender myself and the end started sounding kinda weird with the "putting personal attributes over gender" being a sign thing...I mean, that's pretty much everybody, isn't it? Am I right? Or am I proving your point? Who knows?

I've recently found myself comfortable with agender and demiboy identities. It's not like I've suddenly woken up one day and made that decision; but that I'm an adult almost in my 30's, and the more introspective I've become about myself, the more I've realized the signs were there all along since my childhood. I appreciate videos like this because it really does help clean up the mess of dysphoria I've been dealing with lately.

Il. Learn something Thank you

I'm currently fairly sure I'm a demigirl, though I feel roughly 80% female and 20% agender. This video was really affirming to my agender-ness and reminded me that I'm a valid demigirl

I thought that I was just uncomfortable with how do I look like, but even when I’d changed that (started looking more feminine that I thought would be better) I was still uncomfortable with it. I can’t really explain how I feel but I just dislike how people judge me based only on my gender (?) so I tried to look neutral unconsciously So maybe I am agender but I’m not sure yet :) (Sorry, my English isn’t good)

I've been questioning my gender for over an entire year. I went all over the place, I went from girl to polygender to non-binary to genderfluid, you name it. I stayed non-binary for a while, (maybe 8-10 months) but then I was looking at one of my favorite characters from a show I like and I was like "Hey wait a minute.... they look like the agender flag!" and so I searched it up and funnily enough, I liked the term agender! Right now I'm questioning if I'm agender girl or just agender, but overall I think I finally found my little corner.

I have an OC that’s agender 💕

Thank you very much. It was very helpful. And I realize that I’m both non-binary and agender. I always felt disconnected from both gender’s female and male and I do not know what it means for myself of being those two gender of female gender male. So yup I’m Non-binary and Agender

I relate to some of this. Recently discovered that they/them pronouns feel like a warm comfy hug to my brain. Tho I also relate to your points about demiboy identity too. 🤔

A gender? no agender! 👉😎👉

I'm non-binary, thought I might be a gender so that brought me here but basically I'm still scared to ask people I trust to use "it" pronouns w/ me because I've heard so many hetero, cis and even trans individuals saying that pronoun isn't valid so I don't know how to feel since I literally didn't even know that was a problem until I looked up if "it" is even used as a pronoun in the first place because I thought I'd made that up for myself

I need some help.. So i genuinely hate wearing dresses.. I mostly always have by the time I was 8-10 I hate.. absolutely hate my boobs. Ergh, I just can’t stand them. Even thinking they are there, i kind of lift up my hand to cover them even if im wearing something baggy (which i usually do, i also hate clothes that show off anything unnecessary) Another thing would be is that i never wear makeup… could this mean anything? i dont really care about genders but i wish i could just look like neither in a sense.. but also not? idrk

i THINK im agender... but i use Genderfluid cause it seems to fit me more... should i consider agender or folow what im very comfotale with (genderfluid, despite how im usually gender neutral?)

I think I feel dysphoria around my name. But that may just be that I've been bullied and excluded all my life and feel a lot of shame about my whole identity, not just the gender question.

My experience is mostly being VERY confused why anyone would internalize and maintain the burden that is gender. Like it’s such a restricting identifier, doesn’t seem to serve any positive benefits, and can be the cause of a lot of hardship. Men are under constant threat of their masculinity being called into question, and women are under pressure to meet a lot of impossible standards. Men aren’t allowed to express much emotion, women aren’t allowed to express discontent or to stand up for themselves. My experience is of being a man for a short while, and that was such an uncomfortable time; I’d want to experiment with feminine things, express how I felt to others, compliment my friends, and so forth. While not all men of course want to do allat, there’s a lot of documented research about most men enduring hardships unnecessarily. Masculinity is not made up of component parts, it is made up of an absence of femininity. And femininity is made up of component parts that are hardships within themselves. And neither men nor women are able to fully meet the typically listed off components or lack thereof of either masculinity nor femininity. These categories are not properly definable nor are they separate. To me, they just seem like boxes within which we place various expressions of personality; each box having rules. And everyone is pressured to contort themselves into these boxes. Idk if it’s just my experience, but I simply call myself agender because it seems wild to have some internalized identity with gender, and it was a major stressor in my life trying to contort myself into masculinity. I don’t feel a strong connection with being agender, I feel no strong connection at all with any gender. I gave up on gender and haven’t been happier since.

i feel so confused about my gender. Like i do NOT feel like a female (i was born a female) and i like expressing myself as male. But i do not feel like a man or nonbinary. I kinda just exist? I just know im not a girl and that's all

I don’t know what I am. I’m terrified. My sex is female. I feel more masculine but I don’t want a pee pee. I hate my breasts and I will get them removed as soon as possible. I’m too young to say anything about my face but it’s very neutral and I’m ok with that. My voice is deep for a female assigned person. I’ve always wondered about having a beard and have been obsessed with beards but I know I would not look good in a beard and I can’t imagine myself with one. I don’t really feel weird about pronouns. More along the lines of is someone says she her I don’t want other people to look at me and wonder what I am. I don’t have answers and my therapist is on vacation during this crisis so any help would be appreciated

I am kinda confused, bc what is gendre without stereotipical gender roles?

Thankyou so much for the wonderful video. Finally I can Identify as a non binary, will you be my TF? Love from India.

Is it ok if I'm a gender and use she\he\they

Thats exactly how i feel about my gender..and that's horrible

Have you ever heard of the term cassgender? It's pretty much not caring about gender.

Imposter syndrome brought me here. Yep I'm agenderfluid 😄

I feel a mix of masculine and agender. Is there a word for that?

So, to memorize what Agender is, it doesn't live up to its name.

heres another tip to find out if your agender You probably are one of them, if not more

to my fellow agender people, if someone asks your gender, here are some funny answers besides agender: no i don’t think i have one of those i lost mine :( what are you a cop? what’s it to ya?

Even though I am Agender ima do this anyway 1-✅ 2-middle (50/50) I use all pronouns:p 3-✅ 4-✅ 5-✅

Kewl

I decided to watch this video to see if the author totally misrepresented agender by imposing her pro-gender ideology on it. She/they/etc. did not disappoint.

“You might often prioritize personal attributes and characteristics over traditional gender norms or expectations. Caring more about who you are solely as a person and people just perceiving you as a person with no gender attached to it. You may feel more connected to qualities like kindness, creativity, intelligence rather than associating yourself with specific gender related traits” THIS LITERALLY JUST DESCRIBES BEING A NORMAL PERSON. People who grew up without gender trauma DISTINGUISH personality and character from gender. 

I hope one day you realize how toxic it is to make videos like this. PERSONALITY. IS. NOT. GENDER. Say it again. If you choose to find peace in your life by internalizing your trauma rather than processing it, that is your choice and it is not my place to criticize. Everyone processes trauma at their own pace. However, it IS my place to criticize when you are apparently trying to not only to encourage vulnerable young people to do the same as you, but to MAKE A LIVING by encouraging vulnerable young people to do the same as you. To any of the vulnerable young people reading this, your identity is NOT based on how people see you, and if you feel that your family/community pressures you to fit into gendered roles, please know that this is THEIR problem, not a reflection of your identity. I can't emphasize this enough. You will never be happy if you define yourself based on arbitrary standards that other people place upon you.

That doesnt exist. 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Five signs you're a confused young female...