All five of these. He's fighting me to stay after I filed for divorce saying that I'm making a mistake and that he won't be here in two years for me if I need him. I'm going all the way. I can't wait for this to be over.❤
Remember if you relent & let him back home for any reason then he’s going to seek revenge silently, so at some point you’ll be getting a knife in your back! Never look back
Yes! KEEP GOING!!! I wasted 6 years with his back and forth BS; and I'm now 2.5 years out and obviously I'm still healing, as I'm here. So get OUT and then give yourself lots of grace. The longer you're in, the longer it will take to heal.
Over four years of come & go again but he still thought I’d marry him! It’s taken a year since I went gray rock & he finally left forever 😊 hope is on the horizon as I heal from the trauma bond as well as tremendous cognitive dissonance
I wish You all the best in Your healing journies. My relationship only lasted 4mos, and it took me a yr to heal. Please don't rush Your healing, or beat yourselves up.
It’s nuts how you describe exactly the process of what’s going on in my life right now. Exactly. A month after breaking up and he’s texting me it’s my fault he has no place to live due to his garbage decisions. Like that’s my responsibility. It’s so strange how unbelievably predictable and robotic people with npd truly are now that I am learning about the disorder. It’s like they (you) all got the exact same set of dumb rules that make absolutely no sense and don’t work at all aside from creating misery and ruining the lives of people who actually care, the whole thing is so so freaking strange. Truly hard to believe this shit exists. The more days go by and the more reflecting I do, the more I realize he never cared about me one single bit. Lying, cheating, stealing, sex, drugs, all of it, incredible. And then there was me the whole time saving the day and bailing him out from whatever self created dramatic crises of the week was.
@jimmcd5660 Same here! Stay Strong and stay away! Never forget how his own foolish decisions brought about his own self destruction, but also use that fact to keep yourself from desiring revenge, or becoming bitter. whenever I think back on my ex gf, I always remind myself how her own decisions destroyed her own life long before I ever met her. I laugh at her foolishness now. What makes things even more ironic is that after a yr of healing, & no contact, I've grown so much, & I know she hasn't changed, or even manage to reflect long enough to make any real changes within herself. She still has the same outlook(paranoia, & delusional self esteem), and still making the horrible decisions. Still languishing in her own self made misery. I already know she's villainized me for ghosting her, but considering her foolish she's proven herself to be, I could care less about her opinion of me now. I'm glad You got away. I wish You the best as You continue to heal from the abuse You went through
Nailed it Ben!! Experienced it all. Learned about NO CONTACT before I was hit with these & persevered. No contact is like kryptonite to the narcissist.
I just read about the neglectful narcissist and the 'religious' narcissist and it brought me so much closure. I also learned about betrayal trauma. It's mind-boggling how these people operate.
Yes!! He is a Neglectful narc, something I learned about two or so years ago ... No love bombing, gifts, dinners out or even Dates(!!!) ... I felt Invisible, right up until the end; ten years of ( sometimes) wondering Why, Why start up with someone if you are just going to Ignore them 90% of the time, ..? Oh right, there was that 10% of Me he " Needed." On demand. Whenever he said so, or " I think I'll go to the Casino/bar/game and find a hot ___,___,___, who will do what you won't...". And, yes it worked every.single.time. Until I called his bluff.
Or he will suddenly say youre the nost wonderful in the world when he mainly told you the opposite a million time... or he will do everything he said he would but never did like get this paper, repair this and that.. or he will get interested in thing youre interested in suddenly while he rejected and spit on it for the entire relationship. I believed it so many times in the past and came back. In my heart i wish he was like you and could change. I really hope. But im realistic now.. it will nevwr happen and i have to mourn what i thought we were. Which is so so hard to accept and feel.
Trauma bonds & cognitive dissonance take at least one full year to relinquish but then you’ll begin to see your new self in the arms of your old self 🌝
Thank God for you. Every single one of These is happening right now. Last night he sent me a location and was right near my house in a different town that I don't know how he found out where I live. I was asleep but I read the messages on the morning. He is texting me sending love songs saying he will block everyone he's cheated with, it's ridiculous because he should have done that already.
All of these things happen with a 3 year old who’s having a meltdown tantrum. You have to Ignore it! Do not reward them with your time they should be shunned by everyone unless it’s inside a church!
It's good to see all the comments from those who have left or are leaving. But just like those who say go no contact- none if yall seem to have children with the narc. Its a whole different ball game.
There are 2 sets: when they’re still trying to save the relationship and when they (sometimes temporarily) accept that it’s over. In the latter case you have gaslighting “I was just about to something great for you but not anymore.” Also sabotaging your other relationships, lie to you and your friends, falsely claiming you each said something bad about the other party. A 3rd would be to perform a physical or verbal bridge burning. Either harm you/your property or say something to cut down your self esteem.
Actually it’s not even a freshman college course but a picture book that every toddler narcissist memorized so he could manipulate mother 😊 that’s what you were! Secondary supply mothers are just substitutes for the first caretakers that they did not separate from @ age 3 ❤️🩹 but that train already left the station a long time ago & narcs cannot become individual adults
OMG, did you have my house bugged?? LOL!! Every single time I tried to talked about how I felt about things, holding him accountable for his action, he's abusiveness and destruction of me or my property, I was "ATTACKING" him. If I said something like, are you seeing this person? He would instantly reply, that I was attacking him for asking him that/those/a question that wasn't formulated as he would wanted it (which as you know is code for there will never be a good time, date, wind speed, air quality, hell if the groundhog did or did not see it's shadow. Every time was the wrong one.) and he will not stand for any interrogation tactics of mine. Then the usual ranting and raging about not being valued, heard, not knowing what I'm talking about, he doesn't understand what's going on, he's SOOOO confused, I can't tell him who or what he was doing and always ending with him packing up "some" things. All while continuously repeating, he's not doing this with me anymore before walking out the door on me. I found it funny when he'd say, "You only talk about your side and how you('re) feel(ing), but what about his feeling and any reasons as to the why and understanding that I will only know what really goes on with him is to ask him, hear and understanding what he says." Damn what my own eyes have witnessed or what I know is the TRUTH/REALITY because I was undoubtedly WRONG as the day is long. Now I've disturbed his peace talking about how I'm made to feel because of his actions, BUT what about the "why" and how he is/has been feeling?" He would also say, "The why is just as, if not more important then the action itself." WHAT THA HELL, am I on Candid Camera, Punk'd, Twilight Zone, Gracie's Corner perhaps? How does someone have such arrogance, being completely wrong and flipping the script to out mad the angry. #FlippinAndTrippin86TheNarcLife
Mine said "I'm the best you'll ever get"😂😂😂😂 What a loser There are good women around still...I'm 40 and a big time believer in self reflection and accountability 😊🙏
I think He actually would be happier with somebody else... I think hes turned me into a narcissist as well just for pure self-defense and survival. I'm ruin as far as another relationship but I know he will get him when at least for the sex and then he'll be extremely happy because he. Is Addicted to it
Yes 4 wks ago he sent me a memorable photo trying to get a reaction out of me but I did not respond. Yes late last yr he was bringing on the promises that his changed that his ready to put an effort into the relationship he'll communicate more but I knew in my heart it was all fake.
The only difference with my separation is that he blamed me for everything and didn’t want me back. He didn’t even give me no chance to see what happened what went wrong . So now I feel like i did something wrong and now he tells me to leave him alone and that why we done for that reason . And I’m like what did I do that was so wrong . So now i feel like I’m going crazy over this and very hurt by it ..
That’s what my husband is doing, talking to women on the internet .. and he stays in his bedroom, doesn’t speak. He’s waiting for ME to say the words, so I’ll look like the “bad guy,” and he can get sympathy. I’m just ignoring him, and staying focused on my own plans. 🎉
Yea wow great video. Not to the exact descriptions but certainly with those thought patterns, I used all those selfish tactics one way or another many times in the relationship, and definitely during the first real break up when she actually left me. Poor thing☹️she is not to blame. Then, with how abused she’s been, my honesty above could be taken in context of a manipulation to minimize the wrongs I’ve done, which I don’t want for her either. These thinking errors suck. Narcissistic abuse is the worst and so confusing.
I am really enjoying your channel. I guess in the very painful kind of way, but still, your insights have really helped me to stay true to what I already know is true. I don’t want it to be true but I believe that it is and after 26 years in a relationship with my husband of 21 years almost 22, I am convinced that matter what I do it’s always gonna be this way and it’s getting worse and worse because as he gets older, he’s getting crazier. it’s ramped up now to something more than just the occasional flyby. It’s getting really scary and I need to figure out how to be a big girl and maybe have to start over or something. I don’t know yet. It’s really scary, but I feel like I’m inching towards that decision.
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If they don’t care about you, and they always have other supply, and if they don’t they will go out and get someone else… why do they act like they want you to stay ? Like I don’t get it
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Stop victim blaming & shaming 🤦♀️ you’re just carrying the water for him! He’s got you so trauma bonded that his voice is in your head & you believe it! You didn’t know what you didn’t know & one day the wisdom from this experience will not only have inoculated you against predators of every kind but also made you into an invincible superhero
What if a female dumps a guy and he realises he messed up. Then the guy acts like you've just said.. could he be a victim and she's a narcissist . Could she be a narcissist and gas light him by flipping the narrative? Could that be the case. Or am I the narcissist and don't realise. This all describes me after being dumped after 20 plus years. Am I the narcissist? If I am then I genuinely didn't realise. I have adhd and I'm Pisces. That's a lot of duality. Could this behaviour from me be confused as narcissism or am I just deluding my self? Is it really me after all? If it is me after all, all I can say to people is its not necessary coming from a cynical place. If that's the wiring u come with, how do u yourself know? Again. If this describes is correct.? Totally gutted that I feel so bad and am actually going to counselling etc But these 5 descriptions match. No-one is the bad buy in their own story. I do loads of nice stuff. I hurt like mad when I've hurt people. if these all match, must it be me? If it is... Please know if u were on the receiving end and are reading this. At least in my case, I didn't know. I didn't do any of this with an unkind heart . I meant every nice thing I did and I ached any time I messed up. All of this was real to me.
Bro... All these narcissistic things they say on the RU-vid is mostly bullshit as per my realisation. Girls tend to test you to bits if they don't love you. They test your patience like hell and then you might react. After you react, they will take the opportunity to exit the relationship putting all the blame on you. Then you will feel very sorry for your actions and ask for a chance to make things right and say nice things to save the relationship. Because all you wanted was pure love and connection. So, here who was the narcisist? You or her? If you watch these videos, you will just hate yourself, and you will go mad. I'm in the same situation. If someone wants to stay with you, let them make an effort. If they don't show any effort to stay, just understand that they don't care. Take good time to analyse their actions and words before you react to anything disrespectful from their end. And in the end, never react or disrespect. Respectfully, remove your attention and energy from them. If they want they will surely fight to be with you, if the love is true. This is what I think is the only solution to a sane mind in this day and age.😅
Dude…find a counselor to talk this over with. Whether you are or aren’t, you’re obviously torn up about your situation and finding clarity can help you move on.
There are only two you tubers that are once narcs lol but hey that means redemption is possible. I honestly think it’s bc society does not do what we should do to them like they need parenting as if they’re a toddler but unfortunately there’s enough naivety to red flags 🚩 “guilty as charged” myself but we do not retrain them with societal pressure. They have to have no one to belief his lies is what I’m saying. They have to lose everything they have and not be able to convince anyone anymore and then maybe by the grace of god they can find that praying out and transforming can be the attention they need and realize that real love and authenticity is a much better way to live bc really nice people will be there for them. So yes I think God can save them. In today society though it’s more popular to be fake and act however you want.
Narcissistic: “You deserve better, I’m sorry I was not able to be the man you wanted. I don’t need to wish you luck. I guess I’ll just die alone as I have been told before. I have to leave it to God. …” Me: “Y E S, I deserve better and demand better. You continue treating people like objects, pathologically lying, and pass all accountability to everything and everyone else…. and don’t get help for your Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissism you will stay lonely.” Haven’t heard from him since! I may actually not hear from this one even in42 years. I hope anyway
After we decided I'm leaving, I had to stay on for a few days to get my travel arrangements etc in place. During this time he was pushing for sex, 'just this last time' whilst knowing I'm leaving (finally) because of another woman he's been seeing. How crazy is that? And as soon as I left he followed up with these stages. Going through all and now being 'mad' again.
I fear that mine would try to have me killed just so he wouldn't have to pay One dime... I'm pretty sure he tried to have me shot last. Summer? At our view. When he left by one of the residents there it was just too odd. He showed up in the mill the night and was mad that I wasn't dead the other night. He made me have sex with him after we went out to dinner through guilt obviously I woke up in the mall of night I couldn't breathe. He said my head was between 2 pillows. I got up and wouldn't slept in the couch because I remember his hand being on my head.... What he doesn't want to lose the business he doesn't want to lose his rep with the kids with the community hes already done smear campaigns the. Neighbors can see with their own eyes what's going on? I've got character witnesses. I believe you've tried to kill me again the other night when I couldn't read. I woke up it was not a dream he tried to tell me it was a dream but. My neck was killing me my ears were tight as if someone was choking you out and then stopped and that's you started to get airbag that's. How I felt when I woke up he said I was snoring very loudly and he woke me up but I remember his hand being what the heck. Do I do if I left him and try to take his money on his business that I have supported him since we were 20 years old? The first 5 years was all me. Then I got pregnant he made me say I'm afraid for my life at this point. Not that he would do it he would definitely hire someone to do it.
